Chapter 6: One Foot in Front of the Other

They decided to go home after all once Trent was discharged, after Trent had confirmed that Josh and his stuff were out. Trent's assistant had brought his laptop, camera equipment, and clothes, and tucked them discreetly away in Trent's new room.

He went over the house rules in his head one more time as they approached. No going into Rebecca's room without an express invitation; no stealing her underthings; keep her in the loop about his schedule; and use open and honest communication.

Once they arrived back home, Rebecca dropped her stuff off at the table by the door and looked around a moment. Josh, and all his things, were gone. Good! After what had happened at the office, she really didn't feel like seeing him again, much less seeing anything that belonged to him in her home after she had told him to get out.

Settling in, for Trent, was no problem at all. He knew the layout of the house from when he'd been here before. His board games from his last visit had been moved to his room— he was touched that they hadn't been thrown out— and he set about making them a nice dinner, cleaning as he cooked.

Tonight, he was cooking not to ingratiate himself with Rebecca, but out of love for the artistry of cooking itself. He still served dinner by candlelight: Fusilli with duck ragout, Rebecca's favorite, as a celebration of his first night home from the hospital.

She was coming down off that anger high too, and suddenly, everything within her… hurt. Her muscles ached as she didn't realize holding all that tension for that long could make parts of her she didn't even realize she had, hurt. That, and with the downer, came… not exactly sadness, but more a feeling of emptiness. She felt… numb. She had no idea how she was going to go back to work tomorrow and face Nathaniel, let alone anyone else, not after what she had said, and meant! Shaking her head to clear it of any thoughts for now, save for the man in front of her, she walked over to the counter in her kitchen and sat down, just taking in the moment as Trent settled in and began to cook them dinner, no words needed at the moment, like he just knew what to do. That made a small smile cross her face as she watched him.

Enjoying dinner together brought back bittersweet memories. He liked it this way, though. It was like a do-over.

Dinner was excellent, as always, and Rebecca readily enjoyed the meal. Gods, he knew how to cook!

"That was so good, Trent. Thank you. I—I really needed that," she said with a hint of a smile, her words soft. "I have something for you…." So saying, she reached out for his hand and placed in it the spare house key she had made sure Josh had left behind.

"Welcome home…." She nearly blushed as she said it, but she said it with such feeling that he was sure to notice it. Now it was truly his home. Able to come and go as he wished without having to sneak into the back patio door. That thought made her feel all warm inside as she sat back slowly in her chair.

A brilliant beam lit up Trent's face as he accepted the key from her. "Thank you," he enthused.

"I don't know about you, but I could use a bath…" she said with a hint of a grin as she looked back at him, rising to take her dishes to the sink. He cooked, least she could do was clean. "Want to join me? No bathing suit this time…." She trailed off to keep from girlishly giggling at herself and bit her lip to stop her cheeks from turning beet red.

At the mention of a bath, he froze. He had no problem drawing her a bath, but he wasn't fixing to get in with her. "… I… will meet you in there," he said, his voice shaking slightly.

Rebecca paused at the tremor in Trent's voice. She had been spending so much time with him that she was beginning to learn his tics and she definitely noticed that.

In the bathroom, she turned the water on to just the right temperature, not too hot, not too cold, and slowly undressed, allowing the tub to fill at least halfway before she slid inside with a deep, body-wracking sigh. Reaching out a foot to turn the water off, she just closed her eyes a moment and allowed the water to soak into her body, relaxing her aching muscles. Gods… today had been a day….

Trent met her in the bathroom as promised, with a nice body scrub solution. "Rough day?" he asked sympathetically, kneeling next to the tub. He knew it had been, he'd seen/heard the whole thing, and he was signaling he was here if she would like to talk about it.

"Uh huh…" Rebecca sighed as she opened her eyes and looked up at Trent. She was a little… confused, and it showed as he knelt next to her instead of getting in with her, as was her original plan. "Aren't you… getting in… with me?" she asked, testing out the theory that she was only now beginning to understand.

"… I'm okay here. I can give you a massage and exfoliating treatment, if you want," he offered, trying to sound bright, but it came out just a little flat.

She instantly perked up at the flat tone in his voice and sat up a bit from the water, giving him a look that was curious, understanding, and confused all rolled into one. "Trent…." She reached out and laid a hand lightly atop his. "I thought we had agreed… to be honest with each other?" She posed it as a question, gently, as she didn't want to seem like she was forcing him to tell her. But she had a sneaking suspicion that she knew why he wouldn't join her; she just wanted to hear it from him. "It's ok. You don't have to… I was just curious…"

Trent's brow furrowed. She was absolutely right.

"… I've almost drowned," he admitted. "Twice. Once when I was a child, and my parents were fighting…. The second time was— well, you remember." He shifted uncomfortably. "I spot-wash in the shower. I bought $10,000 worth of surfing equipment a few years ago when I came to town, and the surf shop lady asked me if I was planning a big surfing trip. I said no, I hate the ocean, I wanted to 'in-chill-trate' Josh's bro friend group so I could get closer to you. I bought them drinks and snacks, but I was nervous trying to make friends with them. I guess I said something weird, because they all bailed, and then Surf Shop Lady sat down at our table and, when she found out I was doing this for a girl, she encouraged me to go after you, because Prince Charming made the whole country try on a shoe. And that was the night you took my virginity."

The explanation had just come tumbling out of him. Once he started, he couldn't stop, and by the end he was just staring at the wall vacantly with the words pouring forth, like some kind of confession robot.

All she could do was sit there and listen as it all poured out of him. Now she understood a few of his actions from earlier better. The whole… shoe thing, she had never understood. But now it made sense. In his own weird, and now adorable, way, he had been trying so hard to win her over, even going so far as to purchase things he didn't need, to fit in with Josh and his boys. She knew that people with a fear of water avoided it unless they absolutely had no choice, and to hear that he had been willing to go to the beach with her the other day, when asked where he wanted to go, and he had said he would go anywhere, long as it was with her… it moved something inside her, touched her on another level altogether.

"Trent… look at me…" She moved her hand from his, to cup his chin gently and turn his face back to hers. "Thank you, for being honest. That… means a lot to me." Her words were soft, and for once, she actually tried to take the time to think them through. This was new territory for her, and she was so not used to it, but she tried.

"I am sorry that you felt the need to do all that. I should have never treated you the way I have, at all…. I mean, you did things out of your comfort zone, to try to get me to notice you, and honestly, I was so stupid not to have seen it earlier." She moved her fingers from his chin to lightly caress his cheek as her smile warmed slightly.

"No, you're not stupid," Trent said, coming back to himself. "I didn't want you to feel bad about what's in the past, but you did promise we would be honest with each other, so I should have been more forthcoming."

A soft chuckle echoed out of her lips at his words, and she felt better now that she understood his fear.

"It's ok to have fears, Trent." She sat up, to look him in the eye as she spoke. "You don't have to join me tonight… I understand. I promised to be understanding, didn't I, and I will take only so much as you offer me at any given time. We could work on this if you wanted to, though, together. One small step at a time. It's hard to talk about things that scare you. I get it. But it helps, so the other person understands as well." She leaned back in the water and sighed again, returning to a small state of relaxed bliss as the water felt so good.

"My mother doesn't like me expressing fear," he said as he began working his pampering magic. "She has clear ideas of what a man should be, and fearful doesn't fit those ideas."

Rebecca tilted her head a bit as she listened, eyes furrowing slightly. "You're only human, Trent. It's alright to show fear… to be afraid. It's a natural reaction. Hell, I'm afraid of horses! Big, tall animals that could trample me in an instant… uh-uh!"

Horses was a fear he hadn't been aware she had. It was also one he couldn't imagine relating to, unlike clowns and trains. He had grown up in Iowa, practically raised by his mother's horses. He figured, then, that water was as natural to her as horses were to him, and that was an interesting concept. He filed it away for later.

"I'm still down to give you a massage and scrub," Trent offered. "It might help you take your mind off things."

"Yes please… I would enjoy that. Thank you." She smiled over at Trent and settled back to enjoy his attentions.

"Today was a really hard day. Honestly, I have no idea how I am going back to work tomorrow," she said softly with a small frown. "I really don't want to see ANY of them for a while… and Nathaniel works at the office. Joy!" Sarcasm dripped from her as she spoke, and like Trent, once she started, she couldn't stop. "Where do they get off, really? Am I not allowed to make my own decisions anymore?" She gestured a bit with her hands as she talked, looking over at Trent, as she shook her head. "They might not like my choices, but you would think… as friends, they would have the decency to respect them. Or at the very least, come talk to me, personally, about them… the only one who actually proved they cared enough to listen to me was Paula!"

She sighed and made a face of pure frustration before she slowly began to relax again. "Where do they get off telling me my choices are wrong? Why can't they accept my decisions? Why can't they accept that I know what I am doing with my life? Why can't they accept my love for you? Why can't they accept that just because we had a 'thing', that doesn't give them cause to tell me what to do!" She shook her head again and sighed exasperatedly, not at all aware that in her tirade, that she had used the word 'Love' in that sentence.

She chuckled as she felt herself relaxing more under his gentle ministrations. "Gods… that feels so good…."

He listened as she vented about work; listening was definitely something he was good at. A spark ignited within him when she… she couldn't have said…. But she did, she said her love for him! She LOVED him! And he loved her, and everything was magic and wonder and excitement and joy!

But, steady…. It wouldn't do for him to derail her. She might take it back; things like that happened, after all.

She noticed his excitement and wondered at it, seeing his face light up a bit before he caught himself. What…? She went back over her words a moment and then caught herself. But… this time, she didn't freeze. Instead, she shrugged to herself and then became putty in his hands. She had defended him against those she had loved most. Had spit fire to protect him from those who tried to hurt him. Tore every single one of them down to nothing for daring to say one bad thing about Trent. If that wasn't some type of love… what was it? She didn't let it bother her this time.

"You have vacation time, right?" Trent asked. "If you don't want to see Nathaniel or the others for a while, why don't you take some time off from work? If all goes well after my trial tomorrow, we can go out somewhere, anywhere you'd like. Or stay in. It's totally up to you, princess."

She had forgotten about his trial with all this mess going on at work. Damn it! He so didn't need to have heard all that and add on to his stress already. But… he seemed naturally cool, calm, and that filtered down into her as she leaned into his touch.

"That's right… I do." She moaned appreciatively. "I could go in and tell them I'm taking vacation. That would be better… for me, anyway, to look at least one of them in the eye. Make them think that they didn't scare me off." She giggled softly and tilted her head back to look at him. "I rather like that idea, though, Trent. Let's get through tomorrow and see where the day takes us."

"My trial is at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow, so … do you think you could come, after you tell work about your time off?" he asked.

"Of course, Babe. I had planned to be there anyway…"

She bit her lip as her cheeks turned red at her next thought. "Trent?" She looked him in his eyes and blushed. "Would you… sleep with me… tonight?" She paused and then rephrased. "Cuddling… today's been hell and I'd rather end it with you than with memories of what I have done… please?"

He lit up. "Of course! I would love to sleep beside you and cuddle!" He liked that idea much better than taking a bath together; Rebecca was as beautiful to him in her pajamas as she was nude. (Although, now that he thought about it, since she did own pajamas, why had she worn a bathing suit to bed when he had slept over before? He knew from hacking her medical records that she was prone to "ladies' discomfort", and rayon wasn't the most forgiving fabric, especially not worn overnight.)

Seeing his excitement, she giggled softly to herself and turned to head to her bedroom. "Join me when you are ready, then," she said as she smiled back at him.

Her smile was soft, and only for him, as she slowly sat up and felt her body ultimately relax as she hooked the drain with her toes and pulled the plug. Sighing softly, she stood and reached for the nearby towel to wrap around her as she exited the tub. "Thanks for that. I feel so much better now, Trent."

Once in her room, she dried off, slipped into a comfortable pair of PJs, and slipped into bed, curling up on her side with a soft sigh as she waited for Trent to join her. She felt better, she really did, but her emotions were still all over the place. She was still so… angry with those she had thought of as friends. So angry… and she didn't realize, as she lay there, that a few stray tears had escaped her eyes and trailed slowly down her face.

Trent went back to his own room, wiped himself clean with eucalyptus wet wipes, and changed into soft velveteen pajamas. The pajama shirt had a bear-ears hood; the set had been a gag gift from one of his old classmates in Boston. Usually he wore satin pajamas, but he thought this would be more comforting, for Rebecca. She could pretend he was like a big teddy bear. He went into her room and slipped under the covers with her and gently took her hand.

Feeling him join her, Rebecca turned and all but buried herself into his embrace. Tucking herself up under his chin, one arm wrapped tightly around his waist, head laying on his chest to where she could feel and hear his heart beating, she sniffed softly to clear away any remaining tears and held Trent close for a few moments. Seeking comfort this time, she sighed deeply and let it out slowly. All her emotions and feelings went with it.

When he felt her turn to him, he automatically held her, and he felt some damp spots on his shirt, which prompted him to hold her tighter and stroke her hair gently.

This… this was so nice. He really was the perfect size to cuddle with and made her feel safe at once. The thought made her giggle softly as she nuzzled into him. This was so different, cuddling with someone who actually loved her. The feelings and the pull between them felt warm, natural. Nothing was forced, and she liked it.

Tilting her head up just the slightest, she got a glimpse of his PJs and chuckled softly. "Teddy bear ears?" she asked with a hint of a smirk. "Cute. Are you my teddy bear, Trent?" She felt her cheeks blush softly at her words.

"I can be your teddy bear," he said softly, smiling with affection and pride. "I've never been someone's teddy bear before, and I would be honored to be yours." He brushed his fingers against her cheek tenderly.

The feelings he gave her were so comforting. He seemed to know just what she needed, and no words were required between them. That was a rare thing. The feeling of his fingers stroking her hair pulled a soft, contented purr from her as she nuzzled him again.

His words made her smile brighter, as another soft chuckle escaped her. "Trenty Bear…" She looked up at him in complete adoration and rested gently against him. "You are my Trenty Bear, then…" She leaned up enough to kiss him tenderly. Gods, she couldn't get enough of this man's kisses!

He liked the way she purred. And he definitely liked the way she kissed. The feel, the taste, of her lips on his was comforting, delectable, and tantalizing all at once.

"Good night, Trent…" she whispered to him as she pulled back, and as she was fading into dreams, she softly muttered, "Love… you…."

"Good night, Rebekitty," he whispered back. "I love you, too." He drifted off peacefully and had the best night's sleep he'd had since the day he had first seen her.