From the May 18, 2023 writer's prompt on the JE FF Facebook page. Write a one-shot using the words "asking for a friend". No longer a one-shot.
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.
Spoilers for Lean Mean Thirteen
Asking for a Friend by Debra8652
Chapter 4
My name is Brett Anderson. I am one of the few Marines employed by any Rangeman branch. I am still in my probationary period at Rangeman Trenton after finishing a 3-year stint in the Marines. I met Hal while we were on a joint mission with the Navy and he recommended me to Ranger. I've been here 3 months and have yet to officially meet the infamous Stephanie Plum. That will change this morning.
My older brother Mark is getting married on Saturday afternoon - today is Thursday - and the rehearsal dinner is tonight. The only restaurant in town large enough to accommodate us is already booked for Friday night. We live in a small town about 2 hours away from Trenton. I am the best man and my twin sister, Sarah, is the maid of honor. Sarah and our future sister-in-law, Vanessa, have been best friends since second grade. Vanessa is the only girl in her well-to-do family so her parents are giving her a dream wedding. That means 6, count 'em, 6 attendants on each side. Our only local spa is booked solid for the women in the bridal party plus female friends and relatives on Friday.
I will be leaving Trenton no later than 1500 today to make the 2 hour drive and change clothes for the wedding rehearsal and dinner. Friday will be spent catching up with friends and family before Saturday's gala and checking for any repairs that need to be done to my parents' house. Until then, I am to accompany Stephanie as she turns in her FTA, Stewart Hansen, to the TPD. Rangeman has no other involvement in this case, so I've been instructed to wait in the vehicle while she turns him in.
Steph gets her body receipt and we leave the TPD. She is following Ranger's instructions and waiting until noon to continue working on a case with him. It's still early in the morning so she decides to take another pass at capturing her FTA, Carl Coglin. His hobby is taxidermy and building remote-activated IED's to go inside the animals he's stuffed. He is in a dispute with the cable company and is FTA from a charge of destruction of property after blowing up the cable company's truck with one of his stuffed animals. I'd like to say that it's an unusual case for Steph, but it really isn't, according to my colleagues.
Steph knocks on Coglin's door but he doesn't answer. She's knows he's there so I take the lead and open the door. I offered to kick the door in but Steph said it wouldn't be locked because he's home. I'm still not sure what came next but I now understand what people mean when they say "it all happened so fast". After the explosion, from the shoulders up, I was covered in fur and all sorts of animal matter. Luckily, Steph have been driving the SUV because I couldn't see a thing. After one last yelled threat at Coglin, she guided me to the SUV and gave me a towel to try to get cleaned up. She drove us back to Rangeman where she left me with Hal, who turned a nasty shade of what could only be called "goose poop green". Ranger stepped out of a meeting in his office but didn't even look surprised at what he saw.
Bobby came and escorted me to the showers in the gym. I scrubbed for at least half an hour under hot water but whatever I was covered in - it probably used to be a beaver - was very oily and I am fair-skinned with short blond hair. I changed into a clean uniform, grabbed lunch from the breakroom, and finished my shift at 1400. I changed clothes in my fourth floor apartment, got a bottle of water, my suitbag and duffel, and headed toward my childhood home.
Things were very busy at my parents' home and I couldn't do more than wave at them from the doorway. I can't imagine what it's like at the bride's home. I got settled in the upstairs bedroom that Mark and I shared while growing up. By the time the 5:00 wedding rehearsal was over, we headed for the rehearsal dinner. I was seated next to my twin, Sarah, who gasped when she got a close look at me. She did manage to whisper "What's that stuff on your eyelashes and eyebrows? It's even in the pores of your skin and your scalp and around your fingernails." I told her it was work-related and I'd explain later. Or never.
So, where's the nearest available place a burly ex-Marine can get a facial and manicure? Asking for a friend.
A/N I appreciate your reviews. If you haven't already done so, check out the stories using this writer's prompt by lulupickles and MMBabefanmmm. Thanks to reviewer Gayle, who suggested revisiting Brett's encounter with Carl Coglin's taxidermied creature in Lean Mean Thirteen.