From the May 18, 2023 writer's prompt on the JE FF Facebook page. Write a one-shot using the words "asking for a friend". No longer a one-shot.
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine. Similarities to canon.
Asking for a Friend by Debra8652
Chapter 5
I'm Hal. Yes, the same Hal who is now forever etched in Rangeman folklore for being stunned with his own stun gun by one each Stephanie Plum. We've actually become good friends and Ranger trusts me enough to bodyguard her when she watches Lula compete in a tag team mud wrestling event tonight in a dive bar. Lucky me. I did make sure that Steph wasn't Lula's partner.
I never did find out Lula's partner's name - she was just billed as Down and Dirty Sal and Lula was Big, Brown and Beautiful. Their competition was Dirty and Nasty. Who knows which was which or if it even mattered.
One thing you quickly learn about Steph is that she is fiercely to those she cares about. That certainly includes Lula. Her fierce loyalty manifested itself in her loud cheering whenever Lula was in the ring, much to the displeasure of Dirty and Nasty.
Before I could intervene, Dirty and Nasty pulled Steph out of the audience and threw her into the ring. I had my hand around Steph's upper arm and my other arm around her waist but those women are strong and I got pulled into the melee since I wouldn't relinquish my hold on Steph. Lula's partner joined in the free for all. Six of us covered in mud in a relatively small space. I swear there wasn't enough material in the four wrestlers' costumes to make up even one costume. At least no one could see me blush under all the mud. My coworkers will have a new chapter to add to my legend.
Between everyone slipping and falling in the mud and trying to get mud out of our eyes so we could see, it was probably only a minute or two before the bartender and bouncers got everyone separated, but it seemed like a lot longer. Thank heavens for the mud covering my entire face as I'm pretty sure I caught a boob in my right eye. Tank is watching from backstage and I can honestly tell him that I didn't see the owner of the boob and just hope it wasn't Lula's.
I loaded Steph into the SUV after wrapping us in emergency blankets. Lula was on her own - Tank can deal with her. Steph and I drove back to Hayward. Steph got off on third floor to use the gym shower. I continued to my apartment on fourth floor. I stripped off my mud covered clothes and took a hot shower since I am on monitors at 0600 and it's well past midnight.
My clothes were already starting to dry so I propped up the pants against my bathroom door frame and hung my shirt on a hanger over the door. The only hope for these clothes is to let them dry first and try to brush the mud out before they could even see a washing machine.
I got up at 0500, did a brief workout in the gym, showered again, and grabbed coffee and a bagel from the breakroom and was at my monitor station by 0600. I didn't find out until after the fact, but Ella knew I was on duty so she let herself into my apartment to tidy up and change out my bedding. She left the door open so people would know she was in there but she knows the layout of these apartments like the back of her hand and didn't turn on any lights. Zip has the apartment next to me and heard her scream.
In the dim light she was startled to see a large human shape against my bathroom door. Yes, my now rigid clothing from last night. At least the bedroom carpet is very plush and she didn't hurt herself when she sat down hard. Zip checked her over and found no injuries.
So many questions - what is the appropriate apology gift for a woman who is like a second mother to a lot of us? Is there any hope for my clothes? If I take them to a laundromat so I don't further traumatize Ella, can I bend them enough without breaking them to put them in the passenger seat and add a hat so I can use the carpool lane? Asking for a friend.
A/N I appreciate your reviews. Thanks to reviewer Gayle, who wanted Steph involved in mud wrestling with a very popular MM, Hal.