"What do you have for me?" Hiruzen asked as he looked over the village in quiet contemplation.

"It is as we expected." Itachi stated as he dropped a scroll on the Hokage's desk. "The final assessment is that the team from Iwa was brought into the village on a legitimate escort mission and applied for a single night's rest allowance, which we were obligated to grant under the current treaty. Given the purchase was made directly by Konoha from a licensed merchant and backed by both the Tsuchikage and the Daimyo of the Land of Earth it, would have caused an international incident not to extend the courtesy."

Sarutobi absently reached behind him and grasped the scroll on his desk, unrolling it before he ever took his eyes off the village under his protection. "Do we know what was in the shipment? Was the entire affair just a ruse?"

Itachi made a noise as dry as the deserts of the Land of Wind, but could only be a bitter huff of a laugh. "I personally confirmed the contents as a load of rare metals and minerals. It seems the market has been regularly running low on them in recent months."

Sarutobi paused, frowning momentarily, before his lips quirked into a twisted sardonic grin. "One of life's great ironies, I suppose." His expression faded into a grave seriousness. "Was it anything other than blind luck they targeted the boy?"

"A combination of factors." Itachi's amusement faded as well. "We have reports that a number of craftsmen, specifically metalworkers, were drinking heavily in a bar near where the Iwa-nin were housed. From gathered intelligence, they were complaining rather viciously over a specific blacksmith becoming more favored by high-ranking ninja."

The Hokage nodded slowly, setting the scroll aside as he turned from the window and picked up his pipe. As he filled it with his favorite blend and made to light it, he spoke. "I suppose their dissatisfaction led them to believe that the reason behind such favoritism might lie in his apprentice's association with multiple young clan heirs."

"Given the raucous nature of the tavern, precise accounts of conversations are hard to come by, but it would seem reasonable to assume so," Itachi replied.

Hiruzen breathed out a cloud of smoke. "Cut any contracts the drunkards have with the village and find more deserving individuals with more sober hobbies." He paused. "We're sure it was a scratch team and an unfortunate opportunity, then?"

"As sure as we can be. Kotaro unfortunately killed the team leader and his second in command, the jounin in the group waiting outside and the special jounin who removed him from the village in the first place." Itachi breathed out a ghost of a sigh. "The remainder weren't fully briefed as to whether they were approaching a target of opportunity or a preselected individual with known value, even if circumstances seem to point to the former."

"I'll admit, spitting a pebble marked with an explosive seal into someone's mouth isn't something I've seen before." The Hokage commented placidly, then scoffed. "How that boy finds the temerity to claim he isn't a shinobi baffles me."

Itachi's lips twitched momentarily before returning to their placid and stoic form. "There are still going to be ramifications, Lord Hokage."

Hiruzen sighed, another cloud of scented smoke clouding the air. "There always are, Itachi. This is merely the latest in a long series of ventures by the other villages to drag Konoha down to their level, to make it look as though treachery on our part is at least possible, if not expected. We do not need to be demonized in the eyes of Kiri and Suna, merely stripped of the accolades we have worked so hard to preserve. Once our good reputation is dragged through the dirt and stained with suspicion, it will be a simple matter of weighing costs and benefits for a realignment of the political order."

"Attempted kidnapping of a child with unique and valuable abilities by a team of largely-worthless assets who retain connections to powerful nobles." Itachi stated slowly. "If Iwa were going to make the attempt, you'd think they would at least display a bit more originality."

The older man nodded. "When Kumo decided to muddy the waters like this with their actions against the Hyuuga, I thought appeasement was best. Both to prevent another war and preserve Konoha's valuable reputation as the more reasonable and conciliatory of the Hidden Villages. Even if it only bought five years of peace, I believed the exchange worth it."

"You say believed," Itachi observed with perfect neutrality.

"Perhaps I forgot that it was not merely Konoha's reputation that was at stake, but the values the village was founded upon," Hiruzen stated. "Shinobi live hard lives, we cannot refute this truth, but Hashirama wished to build somewhere we could live those lives in peace, rather than be used and thrown away as tools."

"Hizashi volunteered, Lord Hokage." Itachi stated, an implicit reminder that the decision, fault, and responsibility was not solely on the old man's shoulders.

"I did not have to accept." Hiruzen replied stoically before his expression twisted into a bitter one. "Perhaps I would not, had I not put so much stock in Shimura Danzo's council. At the time, I'd thought it uncharacteristic of him to argue for peace, though the arguments he made in support of preparing for the next war were more in line with what I'd expect from him..."

The Hokage shook his head, memories of the sacrificed Hizashi's child's angry and pained expression floating to the surface of his mind. The boy was one of the few missing-nins that he could privately respect, if not condone.

"Have you made a decision regarding his request for the Kurama girl?"

Hiruzen nodded decisively, snapping out of his reverie. "I was loath to interfere in a clan's internal policy simply on the basis of one jounin's word. Now that Kotaro has corroborated her observations, though, and offered a far less extreme alternative than a complete sealing of her chakra, I'll be giving Yakumo-chan's father a bit of advice on the value of fuuinjutsu."

Itachi shifted slightly, then stopped.

The subtle motion still caught the Hokage's eye. "Speak."

Itachi cocked his head. "It is just an errant thought, but... has there been a decision made on the team?"

Notably, Hiruzen did not need to ask for clarification on which one his prospective successor meant. "An all-female genin team is... somewhat unusual." He teased the boy slightly, drawing out the suspense before chuckling with a shrug. "But we have made a habit of exceptions for the Ino-Shika-Cho teams, no matter the ratio of sexes. I don't see why another can't be made."

The older ninja noted with amusement the miniscule relaxation of Itachi's shoulders.

…

I hummed in thought as I looked over the little drama unfurling.

"Oi! You brats need to stop it! Picking on others is wrong!"

My lips pursed as I considered whether or not I should interve-

"Ooooh! Look, it's that pink-haired pretty-boy from the upper classes! Everyone says he's a sissy who hangs out with girls!"

-no, no, I needed to be honest. Even if I didn't recognize Konohamaru, it was impossible for me not to do the same to Naruko's little brother. If I turned my back on them in this situation...

"You take that back you little twerps!"

"Go get 'em, nii-chan!"

The more complicated issue was the shock of pink hair and stylish clothing I spied as well. Notably, it was on aboyinstead of a girl, but it was still just as obvious who it was. Of course, I was cheating a bit given how Naruko tended to moan pitifully whenever Haruno Sakurai denied her a date.

The more things change, I suppose.

"Get 'em, boys!"

The sad thing was, Sakurai appeared to be losing a pitched battle against a half-dozen first-year academy students, all of whom were throwing small containers of paint, rocks, and other detritus at the smaller group of students.

"This is just humiliating," I sighed as I looked down from the perch I'd taken on a building nearby to find out what the ruckus was. Looking back to where Torune was standing in the shadow of another building, I flicked a few words in nin-sign his way before stepping off the edge. On my way down, my thumb brushed against a nearly-invisible seal on the smallest finger of the same hand, producing several thin strips of inked paper.

"What the-"

"Hey, who's tha-"

"Assh-"

I clapped my hands together, cleansing them of imaginary dust as I stepped over the final unconscious little hooligan, satisfied at the first 'field test' of my knockout tags. They were virtually useless on actual ninja, but were a great way to non-violently end combat with a civilian. In theory, they could also keep an already-unconscious ninja out cold, but anyone with high enough chakra density could also fight through them so I wasn't going to depend on that feature.

"You!" Enkai, the red-headed little shit, recognized me on sight. He grimaced as he looked around at the fallen forms of his adversaries and wiped a particularly nasty splotch of what smelled like dog shit off his shirt. "What areyoudoing here?"

"Civilian things." My droll reply only earned a glare from the boy. "Now hold still."

"What-who is?" Sakurai asked, trying to scrape blue paint off his face where one of the brats had gotten lucky.

The hand opposite to the one I'd previously used brushed its thumb against its ring finger and produced another round of seals. Without further ceremony, I tapped one to each of their foreheads... well, the foreheads of the first three, the final target got the seal on her stained and dirty outfit when she'd flinched back when I moved towards her head.

...given the white eyes and black hair, no guesses why that is.

"Whoa!" Konohamaru breathed, looking himself over as he drew my attention away from the young girl beside them. The other two did likewise as they marveled at their clean clothes. "That's so cool! How'd you do that, aniki?"

"I modified a jutsu used to get rid of evidence like bloodstains, hair, scent traces, and indoor footprints as a general-purpose cleaning technique. Don't worry about the ones out cold, they'll wake up in half an hour or so," I stated, then turned to walk away with barely a nod towards Hanabi. It seemed like, even if she wasn't having the best time of it, she had a good pair of friends to depend on and I was already far too busy to-

"Hey, nii-san! That guy you were asking about? That's him!" Enkai's voice rose, and my shoulders slumped as I turned to give the kid the non-bloodline version of the evil eye.

He smirked unrepentantly as Sakurai did a double-take.

"Next time, you can explain to your mother why you smell like dog shit." I told him with a narrowed gaze, to which he blanched and glared back.

"Wait, you're Kota? You're the guy that Satsuki, Yakumo, and Naruko were talking about?" Sakurai asked, hurrying up next to me.

My thumb went back to my stash of knock-out seals, but my chakra didn't spark the seal. "Make it quick, I've got errands to run."

He frowned at me before stalking towards and pointing at me. "You've got to tell them to stop!"

I stared at him uncomprehendingly for a long moment, one of my eyebrows rising as I felt dread pool in my stomach. I sensed shenanigans, dammit.

…

After having dogged me to my time-sensitive appointment, I'd ended up selecting a food stall near a park and paying for several trays of dango for my four little tagalongs.

"So, if I understand you correctly, the girls have been conducting this strange conspiracy to manipulate all of their classmates into becoming better ninja by playing them off each other in order to increase their skills." I paused to slip one of the balls off the stick and eat it as Sakurai nodded energetically at my summary. "And now they have a sinister plan to set up one of your teachers as a scapegoat for some fake training exercise that requires them all to work together."

"Exactly!" Sakurai stated firmly.

The three kids looked back and forth between us, listening to the conversation intently as they consumed their free treats.

"And you want me to stop them." I stated after taking another bite and mentally deciding that I wanted to try my hand at these. Except instead, I think I'd go with some sweet meat and a richer glaze than soy...

"Yes." The pinkette boy sighed in obvious relief at my understanding.

I ate another dango, cleaned the stick and dropped it into the paper tray before pretending to consider the matter. Finally, after a few long moments, I looked him in the eye and asked, "Why?"

Sakurai blinked at me, surprised, but only for a moment. "The-they're manipulating people! They're setting them against the teachers! This is against all the rules!"

I shook my head. "Probably not. It's very likely no one has actually made any rules forbidding this kind of thing. It's just too far outside what most people would expect." I tapped the table we were sitting at in thought as he stared at me blankly. "Really, if the students being manipulated don't see through it, it's their own fault. The teacher is a grown adult ninja, that goes double for whoever it is."

An errant thought itched at the back of my mind, but Sakurai's response chased it away.

"But it's not right!" The boy insisted. "Even if there's not a specific rule against it, it's still against-against the spirit of the rules! It's playing games with people who are supposed to be our friends and allies."

...I'd completely forgotten how naive early-series Sakura was. I don't appreciate the reminder, reality.

"A game that's designed to help them become better ninja, yes." I replied patiently with a nod. "Beyond that, though, are you under the impression that your allies, superiors, and even your own comrades won't manipulate you? I can assure you, that's very much not the case. This is important training, in more ways than one."

Sakurai reddened, shaking his head as he stood abruptly. "Look, I just wanted to talk to you before I went to a teacher about this. I didn't want to get them in trouble because they think they're helping people, but this is wrong, so if you're not going to help me talk them out of it-"

"Sit down," I ordered him.

Sakurai blinked as he dropped back into his seat, seeming startled by his immediate submission before narrowing his eyes at me suspiciously and opening his mouth.

I cut him off,a feeling of distant deja vu overcoming me, as if I'd been in this position or seen something similar a very long time ago. I sighed and laced my fingers together as I looked Sakurai dead in the eye. "Let me frame this situation in a way you probably haven't considered. You have discovered that three clan heirs in your academy class have been secretly collaborating to manipulate every other student to such a degree that you do not believe even the teachers have caught on. One is the daughter of the chief of the military police, another the inheritor of the strongest genjutsu-based bloodline of the entire village, and the third is the village's jinchuuriki. Three of the most politically powerful individuals in your age group who are going into the same career as you are."

Sakurai opened his mouth to reply again, but caught himself as his mind began truly considering what I was saying.

I leaned forward to emphasize what I was about to say.

"Your plan is to tattle on them." I stated bluntly, speaking to the child I now understood he was. "To their school teacher. After going to their friend and tutor who you must have realized will tell them what you know and what you plan to do at the first possible opportunity."

The background noise in the village was loud in the empty silence between us.

I leaned back and nodded to him, waving a hand. "Good luck."

Sakurai inhaled deeply as his cheeks reddened, licking his lips rapidly and swallowing in a jerky motion of his throat. "Oh."

Konohamaru, Hanabi, and Enkai all stared at me with something approaching awe, even if it was tempered by irritation and resentment in the latter's case.

"I-I'll just-I mean, I'll, um-go." Sakurai muttered, standing more slowly than he had just moments before.

I sighed.

"I have a bit of work to do back at my house. You'll follow me back and we'll talk." I stood and popped a few vertebrae in my back. "If only because I don't want to hear you've died on a mission after trying something this stupid again."

Sakurai hunched, his fists clenching, but he nodded.

I turned to the kids. "Go home." They opened their mouths, but I continued over the beginnings of their replies. "Sakurai and I have to talk about a prank on Enkai's sister and her friends because their plan got discovered. Treat this like a village secret and you can tease them when they fall for it. If you let her know, then that spoils the punishment prank."

The three young ninja-to-be blinked, looking surprised by the offer. The boys, at least, grinned. Hanabi looked dissatisfied, but acquiesced when the other two tugged her along.

"Come on." I called to Sakurai who, now that dominance had been established, followed me like a lost puppy.