Sarutobi Hiruzen frowned as he stared at the black hemisphere covering the center of the Kurama clan's main house. The swirling miasma of darkness was, no doubt, intimidating, but his concern lay within it. Turning to Murakumo he drew his pipe from his lips and blew a stream of smoke into the air as he contemplated the problem that lay before them.

"There has been no change since your wife discovered them?" Hiruzen pressed as his senses probed the half-orb of dense chakra.

"No, Lord Third," Murakumo stated, his form tense. "I cannot apologize enough for this, we did not-"

Hiruzen held up a hand and the man quieted. "Skunk, can you discern anything?"

The masked Hyuuga, a rare skilled sensor from their clan, stepped up and a barely-there burst of chakra ghosted across the Hokage's senses. It was a sensation that wouldn't register on any but the most elite jounin, he knew, but with his experience it might as well be a temple bell. A moment later, that same bell tolled again as the ANBU pushed more chakra into the coils around his eyes before slumping slightly.

Hiruzen didn't need to hear the man's response, but allowed him to report simply for the confirmation.

"No, Lord Hokage. The energy is... strange. It has the properties of the Kurama's strongest illusions, but somewhat more... condensed? Concentrated? Something to that effect." Skunk's belated reply only made the older ninja nod once.

"As I had feared, but we must at least make the attempt," the Third Hokage stated, the picture of a stoic commander even as his thoughts whirred furiously behind that passive mask. "Itachi-kun, if you will make an attempt?"

"By your command." His seemingly ever-present shadow stepped up from where he had been quietly observing matters near the entrance to the training hall.

A sensation not unlike the touch of a true phantom passed Hiruzen by... then something more definite and biting. Murakumo, still standing by if more was required of him, could not completely hide his fascination as the spinning to more of the Uchiha's eyes shattered and changed.

Hiruzen took another long pull of his pipe as he waited.

"It's hazy," Itachi admitted at length, a frown of concentration pulling on his lips, "but I can make them out. Or at least their chakra systems. Satsuki, Naruko, and Tenten are collapsed at the outer edge. Judging by the lack of even passive chakra use, I believe they are unconscious."

"Kotaro and Yakumo?" Hiruzen asked, his voice placid and calm despite the anxiety clear in the Kurama Head's posture.

"They are at the center." Itachi paused, taking a few steps to close the distance between himself and the edge of the phenomenon before pacing slowly to the side like a prowling animal to follow the curve of the half-sphere. "Yakumo is facing away from him. Her chakra is...incredibly active. I've never seen this much power... except for-"

The Third Hokage nodded, inhaling as Itachi cut himself off. "The Nine-tails, correct?"

Murakumo stiffened at the assertion, looking between the two powerful ninja and the hemisphere of dark power.

"Lord Hokage?" Itachi asked, his voice hushed.

"Certain individuals have put forward valuable intelligence," Hiruzen explained slowly, his implications stray far from the boy at the center of this incident. "It was why I allowed young Kota to make this attempt, in truth. Although much of the information is still guesswork and the team working on it has been distracted by other issues, there seems to be something at the heart of the Kurama bloodline."

"But my daughter is not-" Murakumo began, his expression torn between desperation and offense.

"Little Yakumo is not a jinchuuriki, this is true," Hiruzen preempted him, "but there is sufficient evidence to suggest that a different form of chakra beast, unlike the most-commonly known nine distributed among the shinobi villages, is the source of the illusionary powers inherent in the Kurama bloodline... as well as the Uchiha's sharingan."

Itachi visibly jerked at the revelation, his eyes widening as they faded back to a normal configuration. Murakumo, likewise, wore something approaching shock.

Even the most theoretical of the boy's reports bear such interesting fruit. I dearly hope Kotaro is recovered intact from this mess. Putting aside the tragic loss to the village, it simply wouldn't do for me to be suddenly without the most interesting academic research I have seen in decades.

"From the reports I have read, it is not likely your daughter hosts anything save for the barest fraction of the creature's strength. Likely enough to give her untempered impulses destructive power, but not enough to demolish the village such as if the Fox were unleashed. Even still, I felt it wise to allow the application of some form of containment seal given Yakumo's previous, if relatively minor, lapses in control." The more lengthy explanation put the clan head more at ease, though he was still visibly unsettled at the new information even as Hiruzen continued. "The connection between the Kurama and the Uchiha, although widely known, has not truly been substantiated beyond the commonality in your genjutsu-related natural talents, though."

Itachi, clever young man that he was, instantly put the pieces together. "My mangekyo was able to pierce the veil where the byakugan failed."

Hiruzen nodded as he took a long drag on his pipe. "Still, we have digressed from the topic at hand. Judging from your lack of alarm, Itachi, I trust that Kotaro himself is also in stable condition?"

His unseasoned successor blinked, then turned back to the black energy as he reactivated his clan's bloodline. "He is still on his feet, unlike the others... and seems to be crouched over Yakumo..." Honest surprise flashed over the young man's face. "I believe... he is still working on the seal."

Smoke caught in the Hokage's throat, choking him as he attempted to clear it while the Kurama clan head openly gaping. "Th-that's impossible."

"What?" Hiruzen rasped, pounding his chest. "Are you sure?"

Itachi, still staring into the swirling dome of opaque black energy, nodded. "He... just waved at me."

Against all sense and reason, a chuckle erupted from Hiruzen's throat at the admission. As the old man swept a hand over his face and the stress of the moment released itself, the Hokage sighed. "As it has only been a few hours, I believe we shall trust the young man to see both himself and us through this incident."

Murakumo seemed to have recovered his bearings as the Third Hokage turned to walk away. "I-is that...wise, sir?"

"He is a capable young man to whom you have already entrusted your daughter's training," Hiruzen stated without turning. "In the life of a shinobi, is that not the same as entrusting her life to him already?"

Murakumo and, to a lesser extent, Itachi as well paused to contemplate that koan of wisdom.

Hiruzen took a deep breath, steadying himself. "Well, now all we have to do is convince three anxious mothers that the situation is under control." The most powerful shinobi in the village chuckled darkly. "I wonder if young Kotaro would be so obliged to trade places with me."

Despite themselves, Itachi and Murakumo released strained laughter.

…

I took a shaking breath as Kokoro and I stepped back into a reality.

Not the reality. Not the correct reality, but something that could so thoroughly fool someone at first glance that it still somewhat astounded me. Even with the other stream of my consciousness tied to the waking world as I worked to modify one of my most complex seals I'd ever constructed on the fly, it was still momentarily jarring to attempt to reconcile what I was seeing with what I knew to be objectively true.

Genjutsu truly was the most insidious of the shinobi arts.

"Sorry, Daddy. I didn't think it would be that hard for you," Kokoro muttered, obviously put out by my discomfort.

I shook my head as I looked around, trying to pin a position for us. "It's nothing, sweetheart. I just needed a moment to adjust. Still, now that we're picking up another passenger, you might want to try making the transition a bit smoother, okay?"

The little girl nodded energetically, relieved at my lack of anger. "Okay!"

I shot her a smile before continuing my review of our location and-ah.

"The Uzumaki Compound," I noted, giving Kokoro's hand a small tug to lead us towards where I knew the clan head's house to be.

"This is the fox-girl's dream," Kokoro stated as she walked with me through a crowd of faceless redheads. She wrinkled her nose suddenly. "I don't like her, her chakra underneath feels big and scary."

I hummed, digesting that tidbit of information. Given what I suspected about dark chakra, it made a certain amount of sense that Kokoro could indirectly feel the Fox through Naruko and...

"Ahhh! Oh, harder! Harder!"

I stopped, took a calming breath, and closed my eyes for a long moment. After I'd properly centered myself, I crouched down to look Kokoro in the eyes. "Kokoro, did you let the girls decide their own illusions?"

Her head bobbed up and down, a wide grin plastered on her face. "Of course, Daddy! If I didn't, they might think it wasn't real and try to break out." Her expression turned somber, almost bitter. "I just wanted them out of the way, not hurt. Even Mommy doesn't want to hurt them, she just wants more time with you! Like I do!"

I nodded, sighing as I patted her on the head. "That was very clever, my little princess. But, I think Naruko is having an...adult dream, one that I don't think you should see. So why don't you wait here for a few minutes and I'll bring her right back, okay?"

Kokoro looked rebellious, so I had to quickly set her up with a few toys that had been left out in the street by phantom children within the illusion. Once she was safely occupied, I made my way up the stairs to the raised building painted in the traditional burnt orange of the Uzumaki Clan and towards...

"Oh, oh! Yeah, like that, believe it!"

"Huh," I muttered to myself idly, "I guess Naruko hasn't moved into the master bedroom. If she's still in her own room, that must mean that whatever this is it isn't a far-flung future like my own illusion was. Then what-"

I cut myself off as I finally came to Naruko's door and threw it open.

Apparently, I featured prominently in this dream of hers.

"Fuck, yes! Just like that!"

In hindsight, it should have been obvious when I'd first heard the noises. Naruko was on her back on a large futon, her legs spread as a mop of pink hair was buried into her blond muff. The body attached to that pink hair was laid on top of her, a cock erupting out of a pink bush next to her face as she sloppily drooled over it while moaning. I, myself, was standing behind the kneeling version of Sakurai as I thrust into the other boy's ass.

Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention and I turned to see a figure I vaguely recognized as Yamanaka Ino strung up in a ninja-wire cocoon as she openly wept.

"Because this is what I needed right now, sure." I sighed, feeling a headache building behind my eyes. Strained as I was by my need to be in two places at once simultaneously, I was running low on the attention needed to combat such things.

As Naruko, oblivious to the world, released another moan only to be cut short as she choked herself on Sakurai's cock, I decided enough was enough.

"NTR is a trash fetish!" I yelled, drawing back my foot and delivering a punt directly to the side of the Sakurai illusion.

"Hey, what the-!?" Naruko cried, disoriented by the sudden shift of her situation. Her blond hair, though mussed, still managed to shake wildly as she tried to center herself. "Wait, Kota!? Did you make a clone or something?"

Other-me opened his mouth, but I stepped forward and spoke to preempt him. "We're trapped in an illusion Naruko. I'm the real Kota and I just walked in on you having one of your deepest desires being granted. Look around and ask yourself if this would really happen?"

Naruko blinked, turning her head slowly to look at the tied up Ino and the two naked boys she'd been fucking mere moments before. Without rising from her position on the floor or bothering to cover up her nudity, she pointed at me both accusingly and somehow deeply offended. "It could totally happen, believe it!"

Sakurai stepped up, his hands on his hips as he spoke. "Hey, I think he's the illusion! Or maybe Satsuki is playing a prank on you! You know she's never appreciated how smart you can be Naruko."

Naruko looked contemplative at the suggestion.

"I don't get paid enough for this." I took a shuddering breath, reminding myself that monetary gains were ephemeral at their heart and also I could print precious metals at-will now so the issue was moot either way. "Hey, other-me, we make swords for a living. So tell me what you do after quenching the blade."

The other Kota opened his mouth, confident in his stance and tone as he spoke. "That's easy. All you have to do is make the sword really sharp and then put it in a sheath so someone won't cut themselves on it."

I opened my mouth to rebut the stupidity I'd just heard, then decided I could argue with a less-stupid version of myself later and turned to Naruko and thrust a hand towards 'myself.' The blond blinked and looked between the two of us, then wilted with a sober sigh as she stood up. "Dammit, I just knew this was too good to be true."

"Good, now get dressed and we can pick up my daughter before going to get the other girls," I stated, turning to walk out of the room as the blonde grabbed at articles of clothing before stopping with a squawk.

"Wait, daughter?! How long have we been trapped in here?! It's been years, hasn't it!? Am I old now?! Is Mom even still alive!?"

I grit my teeth and turned to grab a pair of long blonde ponytails before pulling on them like a leash. "God-fucking-dammit Naruko! We don't have time for this shit!"