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Chapter 5

After Stevie had drunken some water in the shadow of the trees she felt fine again. And even though she kinda understood the need the other's had for her to go to the hospital, especially since she had her own suspicions about why she fainted or what made it way more likely than the heat she had never had problems with before.

"Alex, we need to talk." "I thought we had already acknowledged that we need to talk."

" No, I meant before we arrive in Fisher or Adelaide. Before the nurses or anyone calls Michelle. Before they tell Rose how I am. I don't want to worry her. I know I've done a crap job at that in the last 24 hours, let alone in the decade before that. I've contracted countless injuries on the circuit. You know that. "

"So, what do you want me to do? Pretend to be your fiancé, like I did your boyfriend when Jarred turned up on Drovers?"

"Yes and no. I thought of a more permanent solution. During my hospital stay, I want you to pretend to be my fiancé. So that's a yes on that one. But I need a more permanent solution for Rose and myself. When I get to talk to Rose, I want you there. It's like Rose said, we need to figure a whole lot out but knowing I won't see you, knowing you won't be the one taking care of both Rose and me, will break me. I need you. I was always independent, since that day mom and dad told me I wasn't welcome at home any longer, I had to be. I had to be to survive. But since Claire gave me that job, gave me hope, I learnt to open up again. After the disaster that was supposed to be the Spinster ball, I hadn't had a choice, anyway. mean I had opened up to you and Tess before that, but Jodi and Kate, they weren't much older than Rose. I guess I wanted to protect them from the struggles which were my life. Don't get me wrong. My life wasn't all bad. I loved having Rose and I love her and want the best for her. But there was a reason why I thought Michelle could raise her better. I always wanted to get her back and now that she knows I hope she will want to come back to me." Stevie told Alex all that, not realizing, firstly that she was rambling and secondly that Rose, who sat in the front seat, next to Nick, had heard every word.

Of course, I want to come back to you, Rose answered in Alex's stead.

" And don't you dare tell me not to worry because I will worry, just like you will always worry. It's natural. Don't you dare try and change it!"

Alex and Nick both started chuckling before saying: "Stubborn like her mother. "

Nobody heard Stevie whispering "and her aunts." Stevie had her own secret, her own dark past and there was a reason Jack was so shocked to have her on Drover's that night after Rose's sixth birthday party. But she couldn't tell Tess, nor Jodi for that matter. Neither of them seemed to know that once upon a time there hadn't been just two McLeod Daughters but more. Stevie thought further. Lost in her own thoughts. About that fateful day, the things her so-called parents had told her when she told them she was pregnant with Rose. And if that wasn't enough years later, at that fateful birthday party, Michelle had told her other secrets. Secrets about herself. They nearly broke her. Especially since she had signed guardianship for Rose over to Michelle and her husband years before that. And then being told that Michelle wasn't her sister after all. She would stay Stevie's sister in her heart and they had promised each other that but the truth. She didn't even know if she knew the whole truth. But they all needed to know. But they all needed to know, yet she honestly dared not to tell either of them anytime. But she knew Alex needed to know, and so did Tess and Rose really. Maybe even Jodi. But how could she tell them? How could she put their worlds upside down, yet again?

"Alex, we really need to talk about a lot more than just us. We need to talk about Claire, about Drover's, Killarney, my past and our family. Both our natural families and the one we created on Drovers and Killarney." "That sounds ominous." "You think, I don't know that. But all four people in that plane plus everyone on Drovers right this minute is affected by that. By the secrets I keep. And Claire would be devasted by it if she still lived. But I couldn't tell her. Not right after I had come and in the years between my finding out, getting to know both of you, I didn't want to risk the friendship I tried to forge with her, since it was what stayed." In her mind, she added: since everything else that could have been was taken from us many years before that. Neither by her nor my choice. "Didn't you ever wonder why I contacted you less and less after that birthday, why even though Claire and I were such good mates I never came back to Drovers until after Jack died?!" She was talking near whispering, not wanting Rose or Nick to overhear yet.

Before Nick could know, Tess and maybe even Jodi needed to know. Before Jodi could be told Meg had to share some secrets with Jodi. Had to tell her daughter the truth. She wondered if that ever happened or just like Jack Meg would hold her cards close and take another one of the McLeod's family secrets to the grave. Stevie often asked herself the same. Asked herself if it was worth it in the end. Because she knew how much it could destroy. Hell, Liz Ryan's secret had nearly destroyed Killarney, had nearly destroyed Alex and had definitely been a big blow to the Ryan family, actually destroying it. She was glad that Claire hadn't covered up the truth concerning Charlotte in the end. That she was brave enough to tell Peter the truth.

Alex didn't ask any further, realizing he wouldn't get an answer right now and that Stevie was lost in thought. So he just held her. Tried making her understand that like with Claire he would always be there. Whenever she needed him. Honestly, she had him and would always have him if she wanted him. When he saw her lying there, as if she was dead, he knew he could never deny her anything. Yes, they'd probably be fighting like cats and dogs on occasion, but only because both of them had a stubborn streak as big as Drovers and Killarney combined. Honestly, sometimes he thought Stevie was soo much like Claire, in many ways like Jack had been, and even so much like Jodi. He would never bring it up. Neither his suspicion about Stevie nor the one about Jodi, which he honestly had for the longest time. And honestly, everyone knew about Jack's affair with Meg. Everyone but Tess and Jodi, apparently. Because otherwise, they probably would have come to the same conclusion about them being sisters as he just did. Or they just thought it was too good to be true.

Rose was thinking as well. Her mom didn't want to worry her. But with the fears her mom just shared, how could she not. Plus, didn't her mom realize that she needed her to get well. And she needed to talk to both Alex and her mom. And she needed to tell them what she wished for.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, they landed on the roof of the hospital in Fisher. The doctors came out immediately, taking Stevie with them. Rose and Alex followed, never leaving Stevie out of sight until the doctors stopped them. They told them that Alex was Stevie's fiancé and Rose their daughter, which was technically a lie least to their knowledge.

But Rose was Stevie's daughter, and Alex had agreed to pretend to be her fiancé even though he would like to make that a reality, and sooner rather than later.

Stevie was in the doctor's care and since nobody could tell them whether or not she fell on her head, or might have fallen so that she could have broken her bones, the doctor's wanted to start by making an MRI and X- rays. For those two examinations, neither Rose nor Alex could stay.

So all left the room Stevie had been in before for the anamnesis. Rose and Alex to wait in the hallway while Stevie was examined. Even though it hadn't been five minutes yet, since Stevie was wheeled away, both were deep in thought when a doctor told them an MRI took at least half an hour or longer. The doctor also told them to go outside for a while, and if they left their cell number, he would call the moment she was on her way back into her room.

Alex and Rose left Alex's sat phone number at the desk. Then he started talking to Rose while they were walking around in Fisher. He wanted her opinion on something. "You said you wanted all three of us to be a family. While your mom and I aren't even an item. In my opinion, hopefully just not yet, but depending on her feelings for me might never become one.

"You and Mom really need to talk, interrupted Rose. "You realize you just kinda admitted again that you love mom. How about you tell her that instead of me. I guessed it, no, that's not correct, actually. I didn't have to guess I saw it.

"Rose, stop. Stop ranting, please, just like your mom when angry or nervous you start to rant or deflect. I wanted to talk about something way different to you."" Not about mom" Rose interjected. " Okay, maybe not so different. In a way, it is about your mom. But mostly, it is about you. It's about what you said concerning us being family.

You asked for us to be family. Do you only want that if your mom and I get together? Or do you want me to be a surrogate uncle either way? Do you want me to be your surrogate dad either way? What do you want? What do you expect of me? What do you wish for? What do you dream our family to be like?"

That's when Rose interrupted barely keeping up with the questions Alex had just fired at her. "I want us to be a family. Whether or not you'll be my surrogate dad, I can't say that yet. Alex, I don't even know what kind of relationship I want with mom. And I've known her all of my life. I know I want to live with her. I want to build on the already existing relationship I have with her. And I know you are her best friend, and you love her and take care of her. I want to belong to that Drovers- Killarney family you have, you built. I want to be able to come for advice to you, to know you'll come for me if I ever need you to, I always want to be able to talk to you, I wish I could say I don't want any secrets but the truth is: There always will be secrets in this family. Not because we don't want them but because we're all stubborn, trying to be strong, I can do all things on my own people, who need to keep their secrets for a while before we can talk about them.

I hope you and mom get to have your happy ending.

Is that enough of an answer for you for now, because I really don't have anything else yet. "

"It is, Rose. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You called us the Drovers - Killarney family. Maybe we should get something for each member of that family, both present and past." "You want to get something for aunty Claire. A woman, who's been dead for nearly a year", Rose asked, her brow lifted. " No, I want to honour her and Becky and Jack, because even though they don't work on Drovers and Killarney anymore, they belong to that family. They belong to the family we built." Ok, so this Becky and Jack, Kate Jodi and Meg, Claire and Tess, You and Nick, Mom and me. Did I miss someone?" Not that I know of. Maybe we'll just start with them. Any idea what to get for them?

At that moment the sat phone rang, it was the hospital where they could come back to, to see Stevie.

In the hospital, the doctors told Alex and Rose about Stevie being okay. Yet, she needed lots of fluids and had an IV due to the lack of fluids. Plus, they told the waiting family, the rest of the Drover's crew just having arrived, that Stevie had some other news to share. First with Alex and Rose and then the rest of the crew if she couldn't leave by then.

In Stevie's room:

Stevie was lost in thought. Actually, she was worrying. Worrying about both Rose' and Alex' reactions to her news. Would Rose be jealous or overjoyed?

Would Rose understand?

Or would she want to go back to Michelle after all? Those thoughts among many others swirled through her head. That's when the moment of truth came. Alex and Rose came back inside.

They closed the door behind themselves and sat down next to Stevie. Alex took Stevie's hand in his, gently caressing it. Rose sat back, asking Stevie if she really was okay and scolding her that she needed to take better care of herself. Stevie took that as a good place as any to start. "Yes, you are right. I need to take better care of myself. For the next few months, I actually need to take care special care of myself. I'm pregnant."

AN: In the next chapter we will hear about Alex' and Rose' reactions.