Chapter LI

I Watch Over You

Condemned to my bed with nothing better to do than to immerse myself in my thoughts, I waited for an eternity for Naruto to deign to release me. I cannot move my tightly tied legs that are dying to stretch. My arms and hands, meanwhile, are crushed under my own weight and squeezed in this vice of flesh in which they are choking in agony. They quickly lost all sensation and they are stiff; briefly touching my surrounding skin with my fingertips, I no longer feel anything.

To add to my ordeal, I have a strong urge to urinate which accentuates my discomfort; at this, Naruto began to drool profusely in my neck, which is also the victim of a disturbing numbness. Like my upper limbs, my skin flooded with filthy drool is asleep. I no longer perceive the temperature nor the saliva.

When Naruto started snoring, his hold on my person relaxed. Not without flinching in pain, I hurriedly freed my hands and arms, which were badly sore and stiff from inaction. I had a hard time bringing them in front of me in order to stretch them, closing and shaking my palms. I couldn't quite close them completely. My blood took forever to travel back through my somewhat atrophied veins.

I was able to contemplate the many bright red claw marks and bruises around my wrists. Naruto brutalized me unceremoniously that night by omitting his teeth marks. I haven't looked at my dial since I was taken hostage, but according to the lights outside, it's been over an hour.

With my almost normal arms, I gently pushed Naruto away from me and luckily, he's sleeping soundly; he didn't make the slightest complaint either. I then released my legs by unrolling his tail from them. By the time my legs stretched, I sat on the edge of the bed while covering the feral boy with the blanket.

I take this opportunity to wipe off the excess of vile saliva by removing my tank top… However, something is wrong. As I run a gentle hand over my neck, I realize that the area—although dried—is devoid of sensation, as if my skin had been anaesthetized. Plus, it's cold to the touch. Unlike my arms, the feelings don't return, even if I massage it or do stretches.

Worried, I hurry to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. On the surface, my skin looks normal. I have no trouble moving or working the muscles of my neck and my right shoulder, which is also affected, although it's less intense. If I pinch or scratch my skin, I don't feel any pain—rather, I don't feel anything at all. I'm willing to bet I wouldn't feel the tip of a kunai slice through my skin and release my blood.

What does that mean? Could it be that Naruto mixed his venom with his saliva and caused this? I doubt; his toxin engenders fiery sufferings and not the other way around. Also, it's not the first time he's slobbered on me, although this time it's intense enough to go through the fabric. If I remember my stained face that had a vile drop of drool slither down my temple the other day, I'm even more confused than I was to begin with… Nevertheless, if I focus on my hand who wiped Naruto's salivary puke, it's very subtle, but my sensory perceptions aren't the same.

Does his saliva act as an analgesic?

In addition to having spent the worst night of my life, I find myself bombarded with questions and torments that I didn't need. I'm too tired to care more than that right now…

I'll look into that later.

My bladder relieved, I took a hot, almost boiling shower to wash away the veil of static electricity while massaging my insensitive skin. The recent scratches, including those on my face and the bite marks on my arms, sting me once underwater. However, no matter how much time I devote to regaining feeling, my skin affected by this strange phenomenon remains horribly frozen and deeply asleep. To say I'm anxious would be an understatement.

I let Naruto sleep this morning. With everything that has happened, I prefer to fiercely avoid him. I was not able to recover my chakra… I mean, not as much as I would have liked; I'm too weak and my brain is idling. I will attempt to take a nap once the teenager is awake and far, far away from my bed. My appetite absent, I eat with difficulty; I don't finish my meal to which I only took a few meagre bites.

After my incomplete report by keeping too many elements for myself, I find peace outside. I settle in a small park not far from my apartment to read a book; an unacknowledged desire to distance myself from a particularly intrusive Naruto. Normally, my student shouldn't wake up; as long as I get back before noon, it shouldn't have any problems. In the worst of worlds, the blond will be able to find me with his keen sense of smell.

Slowly, but surely, I recover sensations on my skin which ceases to be icy. One less worry. After a few chapters, my dazed mind notices way too late the familiar presence of someone behind my back. Sharply turning my head, I recognize Shikamaru. Although he suppressed it, my sudden violent gesture made him jump in surprise.

"Kakashi-Sensei? What are you doing here? Where is Naruto?" he asks me, sweeping his dark eyes around.

A silence.

"He's at my house and sleeping like a log right now," I sigh, continuing to read with a wandering eye.

"Aren't you afraid he'll wake up in a panic because you're not there...?"

"It should be fine. He sleeps soundly in the morning and with the accumulation of fatigue, he shouldn't wake up during my absence."

Quickly, his gaze is riveted on my tortured arms that I forgot to cover with bandages, for lack of desire.

"Are you okay?" Shikamaru worries, before sitting next to me.

"No…"

A brief silence before explaining myself.

"I've had confirmation that I'm addicted to his venom."

"You can't fall asleep without it anymore, can you?"

I nod, letting out a sigh. "Naruto doesn't know how to dose it anymore either, and I had to ask him to bite me a second time… I slept less than an hour last night, and I started dreaming when I can't with his venom in my blood. That said, I was able to know what he does during my sleep. He's very active and refuses to go to bed… To be honest, I'm starting to believe that breaking his sleep cycle is impossible."

Shikamaru listens to me in silence and hearing my last words, he sketches a surprised pout.

"I didn't think you were the type to give up so quickly."

"It's not a matter of giving up or not," I retort. "Until it comes from Naruto himself, he'll refuse to follow our daytime routine."

"Sadly, I agree with you," he nods, crossing his arms behind his head. "Naruto's blinded by the light and the night stretches his body. I wouldn't want to live at night either if the roles were reversed."

"Indeed…"

"Did something happen last night?"

His question takes me by surprise and my heart panics. Nevertheless, I remain calm, so as not to betray myself. My eye flies over my aching limbs for a breath. Since my arms speak for themselves, I cannot lie to him. I regret not having bandaged them out of my shower. At least, thanks to my forehead protector and my mask, the marks on my face aren't visible. Unfortunately, I am under an obligation to disclose information that I want to keep to myself; this morning's incident, I didn't even write it down in my report…

"...Let's just say that Naruto absolutely wanted me to rest this morning, so much he held me hostage in my bed," I sum up rudely.

Luckily, Shikamaru doesn't comment or question me further… However, his face, which is drawing a veil of concern, takes on a serious look.

"You'd better keep an eye out, Kakashi-Sensei. I have a bad feeling. I'm afraid he might do it on purpose."

"What do you mean, Shikamaru?"

"I find it weird that he doesn't 'know' how to dose his venom enough all of a sudden. On the contrary, he had a hard time not injecting you too much. With what you've just said, it'd be possible that he had an idea in mind and that it wasn't random…"

It's true that Naruto's behaviour is somewhat shady at the moment… Although his words make sense and are logical, I remain convinced of the opposite. Naruto doesn't want me to suffer, he wants to protect me, and preventing me from sleeping goes against this benevolent will towards me. His intentions are devoid of any malice. I trust him.

"I don't think so. Naruto doesn't want to hurt me, that's understood. It's only his feral instincts that I need to be wary of. He's tough with me, sure, but that's due to his strength that he can't control."

Shikamaru arches an eyebrow, unconvinced. All in all, I understand his suspicions.

"Still, be on your guard. You do know how unpredictable he is."

"I know," I sigh, rolling my eyes. "Naruto's exhausting me…"

"I came by to give you the medicine and get your report."

"I knew it. I have to go home before he wakes up anyway. I was planning to take him out today … but with the night I just spent, I'll stay home to rest."

Shikamaru nods before walking me home. I give him my report as he gives me the medicine from Godaime. With my pitiful reserve of chakra, I eagerly awaited said bitter-tasting medicine that I swallow in one gulp once alone.

Naruto is still snoring like a forge and staining my bed with his saliva. Even though it disgusts me to turn my stomach upside down, I coat my hand with his drool which I rub on my skin to better absorb it. In addition to being viscous, it's cold and excruciatingly unpleasant. Quickly, my skin gradually becomes icy and although it's very light, I briefly lose feelings. Of course, this is very far from being comparable to the state that my neck was.

At first glance, in addition to his venom, his salivary glands also produce a substance which mixes in the composition; it intrigues me that it causes the opposite effect by numbing the pains… Unless the fatigue makes me hallucinate things… Possible. I wonder if Naruto would be more inclined to provide a saliva sample for analysis…

Lost in my thoughts, I don't notice that Naruto has awakened and is watching me with his small, half-closed eyes. When the latter opens his arms to me, I take a step away with a start; a fear that he will catch me to capture me against my will. His eyelids flutter frantically and his hands open and close with similar speed. Although his request is clear, I cannot bring myself to give it to him.

Carefully, I get closer. I take his wrists to force him to sit down, and Naruto doesn't resist me. His mind is still numb, and I refuse to trust a Naruto in that state. I don't feel like seeing my life pass before my eyes again…

Dazed, my student contemplates the void before rubbing his eyes. Surprised, but not surprised, he turns his attention back to me. He stares at me from top to bottom, then he begs for a hug by opening his arms to me. As for me, I keep my positions while frowning; with what happened recently, I've become too mistrustful.

Faced with my refusal, Naruto is insistent and he's gradually getting closer to me… When his tail comes to meet me in a slow and timid movement, I sigh.

'Don't make me regret it, Naruto …,' I whisper to myself before hugging him back.

As he encircles me with his ebony tail, I hear his silent laughter betraying genuine joy. We separate from each other and he doesn't try to hold me back more than that. Mechanically, I give him a smile. It'd seem that only his sleep to which he's subjected during the afternoon obliges me to be careful… Nevertheless, I don't intend to let my guard down; his unpredictability paired with his feral and unstable temper could cost me my life…

"Naruto, turn around," I tell him before crouching down. "I need to take a look at your wounds."

The teenager holds his breath, anxious. He glances at the bandage under which hide the traces of his bite and the bruises that are capable of bringing up his anchored traumas. As ordered, he presents me with his back to offer me his left arm. I gently take it in order to free the limb from its fabric. Fortunately, apart from the holes caused by his demon fangs which will disappear by tomorrow, the marks on his wrist are gone. By touching the skin with my fingertips, it has returned to a normal temperature and Naruto doesn't flinch either. It'd seem that his body has finally gotten rid of his venom.

One less worry.

"It's good, Naruto. There's nothing left," I say, ruffling his lightning mane.

Naruto puts his arm back in front of him, which he analyzes with touch; at that he cracks a smile. Although he didn't show it, I'm sure those marks invisible by the bandage preoccupied him and tormented his abstract thoughts. To please him, I prepare him a green tea since he really liked the last one. I noticed that he has a lot more interest in flavoured beverages than water; his sense of taste is still present despite his uncanny appetite for chakra.

Waiting for the water to boil, the blond kindly came to sit at my table to watch me. Besides his disturbing immobility, he wags his tail impatiently; he must wait for my aqueous offering, I see only that. Unfortunately, I started to yawn several times. Fatigue makes each of my gestures weary. The urge to sleep occupies the entirety of my mind on the verge of breaking up … but without his venom in my blood that my body has become addicted to, I doubt I can fall asleep on my own… I don't want to nor ask Naruto to bite me; my arms are quickly getting ugly with scars…

The tea poured, his eyes turn and never leave the glass in question. When I give it to him, he rushes to blow on it before taking a sip, then another.

Since Naruto is busy and away from my bed, I lay down on my sheets crossing my arms behind my head. I close my eyes. I desperately need to sleep and I hope the train of dreams will take me. That my body may be unable to fall asleep on its own puts me in a delicate situation. I risk depending on Naruto for I don't know how long. If the addiction to his venom is indeed present, I will spend the worst days of my entire life when I want to get out of its grip to which I am potentially chained. The weaning will be terrible, a real hell on earth; and the longer I wait, the more I will suffer…

Alas, I know very well that I hope for nothing…

In my denial, I know I'm already addicted to it…

I feel it deep inside of me…

After a few minutes, I hear Naruto come back into my room and pull himself up on the edge of the bed, forcing me to open my eye. On all fours above me and way too close, he stares at me. The way he's looking at me, I feel as if he's worried about me.

"You don't have to worry, Naruto. I'm just trying to get some sleep…"

However, his azure eyes don't deviate; it's as if my words hadn't reached his deaf ears. When Naruto brings his expressionless face closer to mine, I stop breathing as a cold sweat breaks out on my temple. I don't know what he intends to do and this unwanted proximity causes some discomfort.

Without the slightest warning, Naruto bites my bicep; he's so fast that I have no time to react. The sharp pain caused by his fully sunken fangs elicits a cry from me as I sit up abruptly. Panic overwhelming me prevents me from thinking. With my free arm, I ferociously grab his blond hair, pushing him violently away from me. His killer teeth immediately leave my flesh, and the teenager falls to the ground.

I press my palm against the bite that tears silent complaints of pain from me. I'm so focused on myself that I don't care about Naruto—rather, I really don't care. It's only now that I feel this burning inferno spreading through my arm. As I withdraw my hand, there's a small, transparent scarlet discharge that fades immediately.

My vision begins to blur and my body becomes excruciatingly heavy, to the point of having to hold on with my wobbly arms struggling to support my own weight. Despite the panic that devours me entirely, my heart doesn't get carried away—on the contrary, it slows down. My eyelid weighs tons and I struggle hard against this feeling of mortal exhaustion to which I'm slowly succumbing to; my efforts are vain. I shiver with cold. The more I fight sleep, the more the shivering gets worse.

I realize that my student poisoned me.

The blond is in my bed again. As if I were a fragile vase, he lays me on my back, my head resting on my pillow. I am terribly dizzy, feverish. I feel like throwing up. I no longer have the strength to react or say anything; I've become an inanimate and docile little rag doll.

Naruto covers me with the blanket to my neck before removing my shinobi headband. The images before me are gracefully undulating mirages. I barely manage to recognize the teenager who is tenderly stroking my hair without scratching me. The sounds died out a long time ago, like my numb body which I am unable to move, not even the little finger.

When the black stars weave this web in front of my retina until it completely obstructs it, I sink into darkness.

- XxX -

When Naruto gulped down the delicious drink offered by Kakashi, he rushed to join Kakashi in the nest. Oddly enough, Kakashi was lying down and his eyes were closed. This disturbed and worried him. He was not used to seeing Kakashi like this. During the daytime hours, Kakashi indulged in boring books. Naruto could not figure out how they could capture Kakashi's attention, to the point of reading them over and over again… Unless Kakashi had trouble translating the symbols into words or took forever to read them all.

Otherwise he did not understand.

In an unacknowledged way, Naruto wanted the precious human in his eyes to be interested in him as much as these objects interested him. He wanted to get all the attention of his black eye and the other one with a mysterious red that terrified him. This eye was constantly supplied with chakra, and Kakashi's body seemed to power it on its own. Obviously, like his pupils, the one Kakashi had possessed eye powers. Otherwise, it did not justify why that eye was nourished with chakra.

And as Kakashi was his world, Naruto wanted to be Kakashi's world.

When Kakashi expressed his desire to sleep, Naruto was plagued with conflicting thoughts. He was aware of the addiction his poison was causing and Kakashi would be unable to sleep without it. After all, last night had proven that. However, the teenager did not want to sink his fangs into Kakashi's flesh more than necessary by causing him pain… But the opportunity thus presented on a silver plate, he hesitated to tear himself in two.

Obsessed with the desire to spend more time with Kakashi, Naruto had finally given in to his urge. He had bitten Kakashi to poison him with his venom … not enough since Kakashi had roughly pushed him off the bed. Nevertheless, Naruto was in no way worried or upset; he knew that Kakashi would react like this and that Kakashi was too weak to fight his poison, even in small amounts.

As Kakashi resisted in vain, the sapphire-eyed boy offered comfort to Kakashi. He gently laid Kakashi down, taking care not to scratch him with his fingernails. He had covered Kakashi with the greenish sheet with abstract patterns before removing his headband. While Kakashi was drifting off to sleep, Naruto was gently stroking his silver hair, like Kakashi was doing it with his golden hair, hoping it would soothe Kakashi.

Once Kakashi was plunged into the darkness of unconsciousness, the blond released the pressure and a tear left his blue eye which he wiped with his sleeve. He hated hurting Kakashi, sincerely, but he had no choice.

Naruto could not stand the nocturnal loneliness anymore.

Naruto wanted to share the night with Kakashi.

Naruto hoped Kakashi would forgive him.

The damage was already done. It was impossible to go back. Naruto shook his head to chase away the incurable guilt that sought to corrupt him. To calm his pain, Naruto lifted Kakashi to hug him. His fingers slipped and entwined with the silver filaments that matched the purity of Kakashi's winter skin. His heart kept pace with Kakashi's, and he let out another tear. Focusing on Kakashi, Kakashi's soft breathing and the peaceful state Kakashi was in, Naruto forgot about all his devastating torments.

He put Kakashi down and smiled. He gazed at Kakashi, his world in which there was no fear or pain. He brushed the locks and the side of Kakashi's face. He had to forbid himself many times to remove the frustrating mask that hid the precious face, as he forbade himself every time Kakashi was condemned to sleep. What Naruto would give to see him, to admire him … but he did not want to break Kakashi's trust.

One night, Kakashi would reveal this part of him to Naruto.

One night, Naruto would be worthy of Kakashi and until then, he had to be patient.

The teenager came to stick to Kakashi's body against which he snuggled up, enclosing him with all his limbs. Even though bedtime had not come yet and it was too early to do so, he did not care.

The peaceful tranquility paired with this closeness to the human who has become his universe, Naruto quickly sank in turn.

- XxX -

Slowly, I gradually regain consciousness. My brain takes forever to translate sensory information, especially sight. Confused as hell, I scan my eye in the room that I don't recognize… When the forms cease to be abstract and dizzying, I notice that I am in my room and that I am lying in my bed. I don't remember what happened or why I decided to go to bed in broad daylight…

Everything is so confusing; my mind is dazed. I feel as if I had abused alcohol to the point of experiencing a blackout. The sky is still blue, although the orange hues win it, thus announcing the fall of night. I don't see Naruto either. Silence is king of the place, and I am alone in this room which seems so big to me now.

I am worried about the unusual absence of the sapphire-eyed boy; it's not like him to walk away from me. I sat down painfully. I rise with my limbs trembling and half asleep. A faint pain in my arm makes me flinch for a moment, forcing me to reach for my left bicep. As I do so, I notice a bite that wasn't there before…

A flash appears in my mind like lightning, and the memories that had been lost during my swooning state resurface.

Yes, I remember that Naruto bit me and poisoned me.

An odious and sudden headache hammers my skull. Why did Naruto decide to sink his teeth like that by injecting me with his venom...? Was it my indirect request to sleep that put this idea in his mind and that he wanted to "pleasure" me in his own way? I wanted to take a nap for an hour or two… I slept all afternoon and part of the evening. Probably more if I hadn't immediately pushed Naruto away from me. My exhausted state is surely the reason why I sank so quickly with the impossibility of fighting, thus condemned to find the land of dreams.

I don't even know if I'll want to sleep tonight…

Little by little, my body stretches with darkness…

My sleep cycle is starting to get progressively disrupted…

When I feel observed, I land my eye on the entrance to my room. I catch a glimpse of Naruto's face staring at me before disappearing. I let out a sigh, relieved that he hadn't escaped somewhere while I was unconscious.

The blond quickly returns to the room with a glass he holds in both hands. At my bedside, he offers it to me, sketching a shy smile. I look at what's inside. Its limpid transparency implies water, all that is most banal.

"Thank you, Naruto," I say, accepting his watery offering.

The teenager sits on the edge of the bed and has his back to me; at that, his ebony tail gently hugs my abdomen, tickling my skin with its painless lightning. He doesn't even glance over his shoulder. Naruto knows I don't like showing my face to others, including him. That he respects what I forbid him, despite his tendency to transgress them, sows a sincere joy in me. I am amazed at his respectful behaviour; accustomed to the contrary, I remain speechless.

My mouth terribly dry, I drink the glass in one go. Done, I notice that Naruto is excruciatingly tense. His shifty eyes betray his anxieties and fears. I feel his frantic heartbeat pounding in his tail. He holds his breath while suppressing self-swaying movements. Naruto must blame himself for poisoning me without my consent. In fact, I only see that.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto. I'm not angry. I know you wanted to help me sleep," I reassure him, smiling.

His face becomes much more radiant. He then comes to take me in his arms. Mechanically, I hug him back.

Well, I lied to him a little so that he'd stop fretting, of course, but I cannot blame him either. I don't want him to start stressing out and thus, hastening his premature whitening of hair. I didn't like his initiative at all, which put me in a delicate situation… However, I can only take it upon myself to protect my broken student.

In the end, I sincerely needed to sleep, that is understood.

A blessing in disguise as they say.