After what felt like an eternity of sitting, watching the gate of the village, and hoping, finally A2 spotted the black blur of an android she'd been used to seeing all this time, as she ran, no, stumbled into the village.
A2 watched as Robin fell to her knees as soon as she walked in, anxiously looking back behind her, as if she expected someone or something to follow her. Jumping down from the tree she was perched on, she was at her side immediately, and a moment after Pascal arrived too.
The machine offered a hand to the tall android, which she took with little hesitation.
"You okay?" had been the first thing that A2 had in mind, because everything Robin did lately was worrying her.
It wasn't every day to see her so winded.
Robin just nodded back at her. "I'm just a little tired." she replied, not even bothering to hide her uneven breathing.
The woman then instructed Pod 007 to give Pascal the materials they got, well that her assistant did, while she'd been busy crying, but she was not going to tell that to anyone.
They didn't need to know. Soon, she would be gone from their lives anyways.
Seemingly satisfied, the machine left the two androids be, going to start building the new filter for A2.
On wobbly legs she walked over to the nearest tree, collapsing in a heap against it, as A2 sat next to her. Her encounter with 9S tired her out more than it should have, especially since she took a longer route to reach the village, to make him lose her traces should he have decided to follow after he woke up.
He shouldn't have been that foolish to do so, but people lost sense of reason when they were hurt. She couldn't rely on anything she knew about the boy she'd known, it was obvious that he, much like herself, was not in the right state of mind.
"You should rest."
And while A2's proposal was more than tempting, she knew she couldn't, not now, not yet.
"I'll be alright."
A2's hands dug in the dirt as she shook from anger, these last words Robin just said replaying in her head multiple times. She was not going to stay silent any longer.
"Liar…" the white haired android whispered through gritted teeth.
As she heard that, Robin couldn't hold back a gasp of shock. Hadn't she played it well enough?
"What did you say?" she asked, almost afraid to hear it again.
"I said you're a goddamn liar, Robin." and she'd repeat it as many times as it was necessary.
The black haired woman just sat there in shock, unable to talk back, why should she even try? A2 was right after all…
She lied like she always did, and A2 found her out.
"Not going to say anything? Are you not going to try and make up more excuses?" she didn't even expect A2 to blatantly throw herself on top of her either, her legs at her sides and holding Robin's arm down with her own ones.
She could have thrown off the smaller android with little effort, yet, her body didn't want to move.
"What is scaring you so much that you want to run away so bad?" A2 couldn't take this silence any longer. "You always listened to me and my damn problems, so please talk to me."
But once again her plea fell to deaf ears, as she hung her head in shame she let go of Robin's arms.
"Is it me? Am I the problem?"
Finally that got a reaction out of the former human, as her hands took A2's arms. "You? Never."
That had been what she said, but she knew why A2 had asked such a question, she hurt her enough to make her think she was the issue, but she was not. She'd never guilt A2, ever.
She couldn't help by hurting people with just her mere presence once again.
She had enough of it, she shouldn't have even dragged A2 into all of this, she had her own burdens to carry without her adding to them.
"So then what is wrong?" A2 asked once again, growing desperate for an actual satisfying answer. "And don't try to hide or downplay it, I can tell you're hurting."
Did Robin truly believe she wouldn't learn to understand when something was bothering her? She always told her that she was smarter than what she gave herself credit for, despite being obviously programmed to be a stupid and naive idiot.
Why wasn't she believing in her own words then? If Robin thought that she was so smart then why did she think she wouldn't notice something was wrong?
That she wouldn't notice that behind that usual calm nature she was breaking inside?
"You wouldn't understand…" the black haired woman let her own arms fall, turning her head to avoid looking in A2's eyes. She couldn't bear to see how much pain she was causing.
Once more everything was replaced by furious anger, as A2 placed her hands on Robin's shoulders, wanting her to look at her in the eyes, and dare to lie to her directly in her face., like she meant it.
"Don't give me that shit." she snarled. "You spent months telling me that we are one and the same, that we are similar in experiences, that I'm smarter than I believe myself to be, so don't tell me I can't understand."
How dared she think about that even?
"The only reason I can't understand is because you refuse to talk to me."
Pure and simple truth, and even if she didn't know something, as long as she was told she could try to understand, but she could not guess what was the problem if Robin didn't talk. Much like what had happened with the posters, she had imagined that she'd been different, guessed something, but couldn't possibly know the truth unless Robin told her.
This was just the same situation.
She, along with 2B's help made some hypotheses, but there was no way to know the truth if not through Robin's own mouth.
"Talk to me, Robin." she pleaded again, hoping for an answer, because all this silence was killing her.
And A2 still wasn't entirely sure that it hadn't been something she did or said that bothered her companion, even if she said it wasn't.
There was another long pause, A2 waited and watched as Robin's eyes couldn't seem to settle to look at her, and instead looked down at her own chest.
"I…" it had barely been a whisper. "I'm scared A2…"
Understandable, with all that happened lately, between the encounter with Adam that left her on the verge of death, and then all the androids that had been infected and the fall of YoRHa. It was legit to be afraid of the future, and A2 would be lying if she said the opposite.
"Scared of what?" still she felt there was even more to it.
She'd known Robin, she was not someone that was afraid so easily, she had even dared to go against White. Not many androids ever did before, if anyone.
Best example she could make would be Number 16, throwing insults at the Commander.
Again, Robin didn't look at her when she answered. "Me. I'm scared of myself."
The curse of E types was the first thing that came to A2's mind, but still best if she let Robin explain herself, she forced her enough. At least she hoped that the other woman would keep talking and not just leave things at that.
"There are things I've never told you… about me." it was true that A2 didn't know all of Robin's past, she did tell her how tragic it was though. However Robin hadn't shared much else beyond that time she had forced her to spill that she was a former human.
Now something came back to haunt her, and A2 wanted to know so she could send it away again. Or at least try to make it better to bear and handle.
With the way the black haired woman refused to look at her, how small and afraid she looked, it made A2 want to hold her and tell her everything would be fine. But for now, she stubbornly held her hands at her sides.
Wasn't time for that yet.
"I am cursed, A2. People died, just for the simple fact they met me… sometimes it had been my doing, others not." Robin's hands dug deeper in the dirt. "I used to hate that, while other times I enjoyed it, I enjoyed making pirates and government officials suffer for what they did to me, for abusing and using me, and to my people too, in the case of the marines."
Her hands made a fist and she raised her trembling and dirty hands to her face. "I wanted them to suffer the way I did."
A2 remained silent through this, but a part of her just wanted to hold her hands. She still couldn't guess why Robin felt that her hate couldn't be justified, after what little she heard A2 had just wanted to stab those people for ruining the life of a mere child, just like that.
"This darkness within me… it follows wherever I go… all those YoRHas I killed…" Robin shook her head.
"I killed people by accident, I killed for survival, I killed for hate, I killed for revenge, but those soldiers… they were my allies, my equals… I cared for them… and I wasn't even able to shed a damn tear." she punched the ground so hard she startled A2.
"I'm a monster A2, a curse, a plague." she finally raised her head, and A2 could see how tired her eyes were. "I don't want this to happen to the only person I still have that I care for."
So that was why she was trying to leave, she'd been afraid that her presence would have cursed A2 to death.
But…
"I don't care." that got a questioning look from the taller android.
"I don't give a shit as to what your past has been, I don't give a shit if you're cursed, I don't give a shit about dying. If I ever did then I would have never been here at your side!"
That last yell got A2 so worked up she coughed up sand and blood again, but she didn't care about anything but getting her point across right now. She could drop dead right after and she still would not give a damn.
Number 2 had been scared of death, A2 was not.
So she took Robin's hands in her own, despite the fact that she was still trying to steady her breath as she did.
"None of this matters to me… what matters is the person you have been towards me. Nothing more, nothing less."
Finally she could stop shaking so she could look at Robin in the eyes again.
"After my friends died, I had nothing, it had just been me against the world and my own creators for the longest time. You've shown me that kindness exists, you took me by the hand and showed me I wasn't alone anymore, so I don't care what you say you are, you're no monster to me."
She squeezed Robin's hands, as she looked back in disbelief. A2 couldn't help but think that Robin herself had never been shown kindness before, she had no one to stand up for her, but those times were over now.
"You once told me, when I was scared and insecure to be someone worth fighting for, that you would decide yourself what I meant to you. So then take your own damn words and apply them to yourself, because I decide what you mean to me."
And she meant that.
"I decide what to do with my life, and I decided to trust and follow you, and even if you ran I'd chase you to the end of the world. And you know I am stubborn enough to do so, you are not getting rid of me in a million years."
Then, she just couldn't help but take and hold Robin's head against her shoulder, surprised the woman let her do that, but she didn't mind, it felt right.
If A2 hadn't been sure of her feelings before, programmed or not, then she was now.
Because she was absolutely not letting Robin run away from her, no matter what issues she had, Robin never pointed fingers when she did something bad or wrong, so then she would never do that either.
She still was unsure how to show that she cared, even before, it had been Number 4 and the others caring for her, but she knew something.
It had been about time this woman got what had been denied to her since she was born. A2 didn't feel like the best person for the task, but at least it had been one person caring, and one was always better than none.
She'd learn, with time.
She swore it.
The only thing she asked back was…
"Don't leave me alone, please…"
Robin didn't reply to that, only let herself be held and cuddled like a child.
That love starved child that was within her.
But she didn't want to move nor say anything.
They stayed like that for a bit, until a gentle patter of metallic feet approached them. Multiple machines it seemed, child machines.
"Big sis, lady with pretty eyes, please don't fight."
Around them there was a group of stubby machines, the village's children, no doubt they must have heard them, and yet looked at them with those round eyes of theirs with much curiosity that only a child would have.
One of them, the one that spoke to them, even held out a flower to the two androids. Small and red, a wilted rose.
But a symbol of love nonetheless.
A bit of an indirect message, but A2 wanted Robin to have it regardless, so taking the flower, she held it out to her, gingerly tucking it in her black hair.
It was right after that they were joined by Pascal.
"Sorry about the children, I hope they didn't annoy you." he apologized, holding out an item. "I also finished the fuel filter for A2."
It had been a bit shy, but the white haired android did mutter a thanks to the machine as she took the filter he so kindly made for her.
Pascal just nodded at them. "I hope things will sort out well between you two, it would be a shame to see a couple like yours fall apart like this."
That got a blush out of them both, A2 coughed a little in her hand but this time not because of the sand in her body.
"Pascal we uhm… we're not a couple…" it had been Robin replying, thankfully, because A2 couldn't find her voice.
How she wished she could have said the opposite…
"Oh I am sorry. Anyways I still hope that things will solve for the better, you two do seem to care a lot about each other."
More than you'd ever know, had been the thought lingering in both of their heads, but neither voiced it.
"Anyways, if you wish to rest feel free to use my own little place, it isn't much, but no one will disturb you there."
With those last words he left them be.
"That was awkward." A2 commented.
"Do you want me to help you with the filter?" but A2 shook her head. "You should rest, you need it."
Finally, feeling there wasn't the fear of seeing Robin disappear from her sight, A2 got off her lap, offering her a hand to get up. Taking up Pascal's offer, the duo made their way to his little shack, however, before sleeping, it seemed that Robin had more to say, as she asked A2 to open the link with 2B.
"9S, I met him earlier in the forest." she just said, which explained why she came back and had been so afraid someone followed her, it had been him then.
"He saw them, my memories, or part of them. He reminded me of those horrible times…" she put a hand in her hair. "I should have stopped him from seeing them, but… I wasn't thinking straight… I didn't even bother explaining to him a thing about them."
"I should have tried to talk to him about you, 2B, about the virus and everything else, but I was afraid he wouldn't believe me, or if he did that he would have tried to harm A2 for the fact that she has your memories and your everything."
She could have handled the situation better, yet she'd just been petty, and in the end she wanted to protect A2 as much as he wished to kill her.
She didn't want to risk the two meeting each other even if he would have believed her words. He was a Scanner, he could have got into their heads easily and hurt them all, A2, herself, 2B, and who knew even the machines.
"He was mad, and wasn't reasoning, accused me of not caring, and accused me that I had a part in your death, as I left A2 alive."
Which A2 assumed hadn't helped in making her mental state any better, in fact, the entire exchange could have very well been what made her falter entirely.
"There was nothing of the kind boy we've been used to seeing, 2B."
Still…
"I'm sorry, I could have done better, but I was selfish…"
There was a long moment of silence, where A2 could feel 2B thinking, but couldn't tell what.
"It is fine." it was what she said.
"I understand the situation hadn't been the best, and neither of you must have been in a good mental state, 9S… he gets violent when he's mad. I know it." of course she would have, no way that in none of the instances where she had to execute him he would have sat there and taken his punishment.
Of course he would have gotten angry at least one time at her. 2B knew him better than anyone after all.
"And I understand your wish to protect A2, and me, to a certain degree. Scanner types are dangerous, and he is the best of his line."
Robin shook her head "I could have still tried."
"There might be another occasion, still… I really wished that 9S would have grown into a better person…"
"People change when they're hurt, sometimes for the worst." she just had to look at her after all.
And she was sure all three understood it well, after all, 2B must have heard their conversation before too.
In the meantime A2 had finished replacing her faulty filter, and no longer she was plagued from sand, much to her relief. It had been then that Robin let herself rest, and to A2's request, this time she let herself be the one to be held, when the other times had always been the opposite.
But for once it was okay to indulge, she thought as her eyes closed and she fell into rest mode.
However, A2 hadn't, not yet, and she could feel 2B wanting to say something.
"You haven't told her everything, about your feelings."
"Not yet, 2B." it had been A2's reply. "You've seen her, she has no idea what love and kindness are, and I am not the best at them either. She had enough on her shoulders, I don't want to put my feelings on her too."
"So you are sure now?"
"Better than before at least. But I can't tell her, not yet, she's not ready." she held Robin tighter against her chest. "And neither am I."
Thankfully 2B didn't press the issue further.
There would be time to figure feelings out, but a woman that never felt love couldn't get used to it immediately, and telling Robin she was in love with her felt wrong, to someone that was not used to receiving a thing that was even remotely nice.
Robin probably wouldn't accept the idea that there was someone in love with her, she already was struggling with the fact someone cared to stay at her side, despite everything she'd done and said.
No. Now it was not the time.