I woke up to the scent of wood smoke and musty papers. Somewhere in the distance I heard the rumble of conversations, shouting for a waitress to come over and serve them. The nightly music of the Hanged Man.

...and... there was pain. There was a lot of pain. My entire body, from my toes to my scalp, ached with it.

Pain... was good. It meant I was alive.

I was alive.

A low, feminine growl in my ears confirmed that. "I am not happy with you."

...if Longing was still talking to me like that, then I was both alive and not an Abomination. Double win.

The spirit scoffed, the tether between us going still somewhere around my navel as she retreated.

Opening my eyes with a quiet gasp, I managed to turn my head to confirm that I was in Varric's suite. In his bed even, covered in thick blankets. The fire was full and crackling merrily, giving me plenty of light to see by. Hanging above me was my Dream-catcher, the feathers motionless as it protected me from every spirit save one.

Isabella was lounging in a chair in front of the fire, an ale in her hands, eyes locked on the flames as she sipped the swill. The orange glow made her tanned skin look even darker, throwing her nearly perfect features into sharp relief. Any other time and I'd have loved nothing more than to lay there, staring at her for a while.

Sadly the agonizing throbs going through my body told me that wasn't an option.

I took a few deep breaths, finding my voice through the haze of pain I was swimming in. "...stop looking so good."

She jerked in surprise, nearly spilling her ale into her lap. "Andraste's bloody knickers!"

Wheezing gasps was as close to laughter as I could manage, head falling back onto the pillow. Boots struck the floor rapidly, her head appearing above mine a moment later. "Maeve! Don't scare me like that!"

"...sorry." I rasped. "...how bad?"

Her fingers quickly fixed my blankets around my neck, her eyes not meeting mine. "You don't want to know, sweet thing."

I tried to give her a flat look, which just made her sigh and bring her hands up to my head. Surprisingly gentle fingers ran through the thick section of my hair, stroking it back as she met my gaze. I don't know what she was looking for, but she must have found it because she told me the truth of it after less than a minute.

"Bad." She said quietly. "I was buying some things at the merchant square when that priestess of yours came in screaming that you were being murdered. I made her lead me to you. You were covered in blood, pinned to the wall like a noble's butterfly. Your guts had started to fall out of your belly."

I shuddered at the mental image, stomach churning.

"I got you loose, put some rough bandages on, and ran you back here as quickly as I could. Made the entire place erupt, I didn't know that Varric could swear like that. Sent runners across half the city looking for a healer while the priestess tried to stop you from dying."

"...Merrill?" I guessed.

Isabella sighed. "She got here in time stop you from bleeding to death, barely, but it wiped her out. You were too weak for potions, just choked on the few we tried to give you. You just... didn't have any strength left. The priestess wanted to take you to the Gallows, for the Circle mages to treat, but that would have meant revealing that you're a mage. Varric wouldn't have it, and she backed down. Admitted it had to be your choice."

Petrice had backed down... huh. More strange behavior from her.

"We knew your guts were opened, Merrill couldn't fix that. Everyone was hoping you'd wake up long enough to... I don't know. Tell them goodbye, I suppose. We didn't expect you to want to go to the Gallows or the Chantry." She went on, voice quiet. "Yesterday one of Varric's other runners found a healer at the docks. Practically kidnapped him to get him here to tend to you."

"...I'll live then?"

She laughed, smiling almost fondly. "You will, sweet thing. It was a near thing, even with him, but you'll make it. Don't expect to be doing anything exciting for a while though. He said you were a few hours from the end before he got here."

"...thank him." I murmured. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it."

"No." I took a deep breath, winced, then said more clearly, "Barely know each other. Didn't have to help so much. Thank you."

"How could I not? You're so adorable." Isabella grinned, leaning down and pecking me on the forehead with her lips. "Besides, I haven't gotten to take you to bed properly yet."

I smiled faintly. "...you won't."

She gave me her best pout, which was a damned good one. "What if I get you very drunk first?"

Laughter bubbled out, which promptly made me try to curl up in pain. "Oh ow... ow... mistake. Don't make laugh..."

Isabella chuckled, stroking my hair one last time before rising. "Do you need the privy?"

I thought about it for a moment, trying to pinpoint my bladder among the other aches and pains. After a moment I had to nod to say that I did. My right arm was too weak to even push the covers back, and to my shame I couldn't even stand on my own without her help. I'd expected my shoulder and stomach to hurt, and they did, but the rest of my body was throbbing painfully in time with my slow heartbeat as well.

The pirate Captain ended up half-carrying me to Varric's plank-and-bucket room, then had to help me get my pants off enough to do my business. My humiliation only got worse when I realized I didn't even have the strength to clean myself after, leaving me to close my eyes as Isabella did it for me.

She proved kinder than I could have hoped her to be, and that was definitely the moment when I flipped her from 'fun acquaintance' to 'dear friend'. She said nothing during the entire process, and gave me a supportive hug and another kiss on the forehead when it was over.

Then it was back to the bed, where she let me take stock of myself in Varric's mirror before I laid back down. Helped me get my shirt up to look at my wounds.

I looked about as bad as I felt. I now had a wicked set of scars just to the right of my navel, and an equally nasty one on my right shoulder. I was even paler than usual, arms hanging limply while my legs shook below me.

"Come on, sweet thing." Isabella guided me away from the view, getting me back into bed before I could protest. "I'll tell the others you're awake."

I could only nod tiredly, going limp once more.

My moment to relax probably lasted a few minutes, but it felt like only a few seconds had passed before feet were pounding on the stairs. I managed to glance over in time to see Merrill practically fly into the room. She kept on sprinting until she got to my side, visibly holding herself back before she could throw herself into the bed.

That was apparently all the restraint she had; her arms were around my neck a second later, and she was sobbing into my hair. "You're alive! You're alive!"

"...Merrill." I murmured, fighting to get my left arm up and around her. "Hey. Thanks."

"I thought I'd lost you too." She sobbed, accent so thick I could barely understand her. "I prayed to every one of the Creators. Even to Fen'harel. I... I couldn't lose you too."

"...hush." Weak fingers tried to run through her hair, but mostly they just twitched a little. "It's... all right. Thank you."

She sniffled, hiccuping a few times. Then she moved a little, kissing the same spot on my forehead that Isabella had before pulling back slowly. "Ir abelas. I... I should have been with you that day. You're always tell me to never go out alone but I'm always letting you go alone. You're not doing that anymore. I'm going with you from now on."

"Merrill, it's not your fault." I swallowed against my dry lips. "You saved me."

Merrill looked ready to smother me again, only stopping when Varric strolled into the room. "Easy there, Daisy. Let the poor girl breathe a bit. Maybe get her some water?"

"I'm not leaving her again." Merrill snapped.

Merrill. Snapped.

My jaw would have dropped to the floor if not for the fact that I was laying on my back. And too exhausted to be that expressive.

"All right, all right." He held both of his hands up defensively. "Rivaini? You mind fetching our new friend to check her over, and maybe some water?"

"I need more ale anyway." Isabella said from somewhere near the door, the tell-tale sound of her boots fading quickly.

Merrill fussed over me while Varric walked over, her hands gently wiping at my cheeks. I must have been crying at some point. She followed that up by pulling out a little brush from a pocket, gently running it through my hair.

"Rivaini says she told you how bad it was." Varric said when he arrived beside us.

"...yeah. Sorry for getting my guts on your bed."

He barked out a laugh. "Only you would apologize for that kind of thing, Buzz. Or be in a position to, come to think of it. How are you feeling?"

"...bad." I admitted. "Everything hurts."

Another man's voice spoke up from near the door, "That's because you were taking that first step to meet the Maker before I pulled you back."

I recognized his voice actor in his words, but only just. In real life his voice was far deeper, rougher. The tones of a young man who'd aged before his time.

Anders strode over, wearing the battered, worn clothes common to Ferelden refugees. He tossed his feathered cloak onto a nearby chair, smiling politely as he finished walking over. He badly needed a shave, and had dark circles below his eyes, but otherwise looked about as I'd have expected him to. He was more built than I'd have expected though. If I didn't know he was a mage I'd have pegged him for a warrior of some kind.

"There was an awful lot of fuss and bother around here for you." He told me. "Quite honestly I'm amazed you were still alive for me to heal at all. You're not a large woman, and you'd lost a lot of blood."

I flicked my eyes to Merrill, who flushed a little... which let me realize she was a bit paler than she should have been too. She'd done something unnatural involving her own blood to keep me alive then.

...considering that I was still breathing, I was definitely not about to throw stones.

"Thank you." I said, saying it to the both of them.

Anders waved off my words, "Let me take a look at you, then I should make myself scarce before your Templar arrives."

"...won't turn you in. Didn't turn us in."

"And I would dearly love to know how you've managed that." He replied, already squatting down and letting his eyes slide over me. "But I'd rather not take the extra risk today, if it's all the same to you. One moment please."

I shut up, watching as he did something with his magic. His sparks were blue-white, just like mine usually were, and sounded like someone strumming power cords to a song I couldn't quite place. They washed over me, letting me feel the warmth of a cat's fur under my fingers before the energy coalesced around my wounds.

"...still closed, and the infection is gone." He murmured, eyes vacant. "Good. Muscles are healing nicely as well. The pain should be gone, odd that it isn't."

Merrill winced behind him. Her fault, then.

"A clash of my magic against the Dalish's maybe. Regardless, it should fade quickly. Eat plenty of meat and drink plenty of water, and you should recover fully in a few weeks. If you have rejuvenation potions, one half vial with every supper should accelerate that. Don't drink more than that, or risk regular potions for at least the next month. Your body won't be able to handle them after what it's just gone through."

"Thank you." I whispered as his magic faded, leaving the room feeling darker for its absence. "Didn't get your name."

"Anders. Pleased to meet you, Lady Maeve. I wish it under better circumstances."

"...me too."

He gave me a gentle pat on my arm, rising with a quiet groan. "I'll try to stop by again next week, assuming the Templars don't find me first. Make sure she takes it easy."

"We will." Varric said, "Thanks again, Blondie. I'll walk you out. You sure your payment is enough?"

Anders chuckled, "We've been over this, it was too much."

The two men drifted out, Varric playing the polite host to give Merrill and I some time alone. He was too damned clever, and perceptive, for his own good sometimes. He even closed the door behind them, leaving Merrill free to immediately start brushing my hair again.

"...what did you do?" I asked now that we were alone.

Merrill flushed, hands shaking a little. She didn't meet my eyes.

"Merrill..." I coughed once, licked my lips, and tried again. "Not mad. Curious. How?"

"...I reworked a blood curse." The words were barely audible. "It pulled your blood back in your body. It... forced you to stay alive, even with your wounds, until I could stitch them closed enough that I could use what healing magic I have left on them."

"...the pain?"

"It... Audacity's memories say it was for torture. Meant to hurt someone without letting them die." She admitted, sounding utterly ashamed, tears welling up in her eyes. "But you were asleep. Barely breathing. It... was all I could think of. I'm not good at healing, was never good at it. And Audacity took most of those skills when he gave me the blood magic. All I can really do is heal up my own cuts hours after I make them."

Ah.

"I made everyone leave before I cast it. It..." She shuddered. "I put something in your mouth before I tried. If I hadn't they'd have heard when you tried to scream, even in your sleep. You... you thrashed so badly. It was awful, I can't imagine how much it... I'm sorry. Dread Wolf take my soul, I'm so sorry!"

...holy hell. That was sounding even worse than I'd expected. Then again, I doubted anything involving blood magic was going to be pleasant to deal with. Of course that didn't diminish what Merrill had done. It was agonizingly painful to be me right now, true, but I could admire how hard she'd fought to save my life all the same. Especially since I hadn't been conscious to realize that she'd effectively made my blood burn or something equally appalling.

She'd reworked a curse intended to torture into a life-saving spell, and she done it on the fly, probably while terrified out of her mind that she was about to lose another friend right in front of her eyes. While also stitching me up in the process. Holy hell.

Merrill was one hell of a mage... and I was beyond lucky to know her.

"It... it shouldn't last much longer. A few days maybe." Merrill babbled, oblivious to the fact that I wanted nothing more than to hug her while whispering how grateful I was for what she'd done. "I've got elfroot to make you tea. It should help. I can make it right now. I really should, before you fall asleep again."

I coughed, flailing with my left hand again, trying to grab hers. She was crying now, but frantically moved her own fingers to wrap them around mine.

"...thank you." I whispered, feeling my eyes close on their own accord. "...hurting sucks. Dying sucks more. Thanks, Merrill."

"...but I hurt..."

Her voice faded as sleep washed over me.

When I woke up again Merrill was gone from above me, and the fire was much lower. My body hurt a little less, but that wasn't saying very much. I did feel a bit stronger at least, and all four of my limbs actually responded when I flexed them under the covers.

A careful look around let me see Merrill curled up on Varric's couch, quiet snores coming out of her tiny nose.

Varric himself was seated at this desk, quill rapidly scratching away as he wrote.

"...Varric." I whispered his name. "Hey."

He looked up, absently setting his quill aside. He grinned when he saw me looking at him, getting up and coming over as quietly as he could.

"Morning Buzz." He whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I partially lied. My throat and lips felt better, someone had probably poured water or a potion into me while I'd been asleep. "How long was I out?"

"Just one night, it's late morning. You need food?" When I nodded, he waved for me to stay put and crept out of the suite.

I managed to get myself up into a seated position with a minimum of hissing and groaning in pain, getting my blankets evenly settled across my legs by the time he returned with a plate full of breakfast. A real breakfast, not the peasant fare I was used to. Scrambled eggs, a bit of ham, and a big chunk of buttered bread.

My fingers ached as I forced them to pick up the food, but the pain was easily pushed back by my frankly ravenous hunger. I devoured the meal as silently as I could, then gulped down the cup of water that he brought me.

"...wait. This wasn't Hanged Man water, wasn't it?"

He grinned, pulling a chair over to sit next to me. "Relax, I used that filter tube you had at your house for it."

I let out a relieved sigh. Good. The last thing I needed was to be glued to a waste-bucket, that would really complete the holy trinity of embarrassment. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Are you up for telling me what happened? Scowls didn't give us much beyond the broad strokes."

"Scowls... Petrice?" The nickname made me smile, "Not much to say. I got too distracted talking to her about the Blight and Ferelden, and we stopped moving. Locals saw my ears, got pissy, and armed up. Seven to one's bad odds when you're surrounded."

He winced. "Close quarters, yeah. Not a good place to be. Still, Rivaini said all but one of them was dead when she got there. Said you'd blinded him, and that she slit his throat for you."

I'd have to thank her for that as well. "Yeah."

"Details?"

I gave him the best blow by blow that I could, letting him listen as I described what had happened. When I finished he let out a heavy sigh of his own, leaning back in his seat.

"Should have cut loose with the magic earlier, Buzz." He told me quietly. "I get trying to keep it quiet when you've got a Sister with you, but we could have shut her up one way or another."

"...wouldn't have mattered." I said. "I've only got the one offensive spell, and they weren't grouped enough to let me take them all out with the one casting I've got in me. Not until it was too late."

He grunted, "Then you'd better work on getting more spells, however you do that."

"It's on the to do list." Rolling my shoulder against the ache, I clenched my jaw against a wince of pain. "How's everyone else?"

"The Alienage is waiting for you to go home with bated breath." Varric replied grandly. "Scowls and Daisy managed to talk them down from rioting when they found out what happened to you, but according to Thrask it was a pretty close thing. If you hadn't pulled through they'd have probably as much of Lowtown as they could get to."

...I couldn't decide if I was flattered or annoyed by that news. "Lowtown?"

"Thought about rioting to finish you off. We were almost under siege for a bit, at least till Meredith came by to ask about your health."

I nearly had a heart-attack, clutching at my chest. "What."

He snickered, "Don't worry, she didn't actually come up here, or even step inside. She met me at the door, made sure half the city heard her asking how you were, and if there was anything the Templar Order could do for you. And that she'd be... what did she say? Right, that she'd be 'Incredibly displeased' if anything should happen to you after she put all that effort into authorizing your Night Watch."

I kept on gaping.

"I think Elthina put her up to it, honestly." Varric went on. "Or maybe she did it to remind Lowtown that she's the scariest bitch in the city. One guy pissed himself when she glared at him for getting in her way."

I believed him. "...she doesn't want to meet with me, does she?"

My boss looked uncomfortable for a moment, "I hope not. Anyway, there is some actual good news. Guess who the new Guard-Captain is?"

"...Brennan?" I asked hopefully.

He grinned, nodding. "Dumar offered her the post. She's pretty sure Aveline was the stronger candidate, but that Dumar's in trouble with the nobles for how blatant Meredith's been lately. Between giving elves a tiny Guard of their own and arresting Jeven I mean. Giving Brenan the job let him curtail Meredith's influence in the Guard, pretend he's not her puppet even if everyone knows he is."

"...how'd Aveline take it?"

"Brennan said she took it like a soldier. Probably helped that he still promoted her to Lieutenant to avoid pissing Meredith off too much, but she's serving as Brennan's second in command right now." He paused, then added, "Brennan's got her running the investigation into the rest of the Guard, so at least we know it'll be thorough."

It definitely would be. And... shit. That was another huge change to canon, one that I was fully responsible for. Hell. "Brennan doing all right?"

"Rattled." He admitted, "And swamped, but she's hanging in there. She was through here while you were asleep to check on you, I already sent a runner to tell her you're up and better."

"Thanks. Fenris upset I'm not dead?"

"I don't think he'd mind much if you were, not that he'd say it out loud. Not with Isabella hovering around you like a mother hen. What's that about anyway? She get you into bed when I wasn't looking?"

"No." I told him, "Not sure. She said it's because I'm cute."

He snorted. "Daisy and I are cute. You're too sharp to be cute."

"You're too hairy." I countered, "Wake Merrill up for me?"

"Why?"

"I need to piss and I'm not letting you take my pants off."

That made him chuckle and back off, walking over to nudge Merrill awake. She quickly came over when he roused her, helping get me upright and mobile. I was a little steadier than I'd been the day before, if only a little.

And I didn't need help getting my pants down, or back up, or with anything in between.

Progress.

I made a brief attempt to convince Merrill to let me sit at the table for a bit, which failed on account of her entirely ignoring me. Instead she just marched me right back to bed, got me laying out again, and then pushed me back down when I tried to sit up.

"You need to rest."

I opened my mouth to argue, and got her deadly pouting face in return. Complete with a quiet, almost tearful, "Please."

"...that look is a deadly weapon." I muttered, "Can I lay on my side at least? I'm tired of laying on my back."

Ever the gracious victor, she allowed me to roll onto my left side, and helped me get comfortable again. She started to leave, probably to head back to her couch, until I heard myself whisper. "Stay?"

She froze.

"...please?" I asked, not sure why I'd asked, but... I wanted someone next to me then. Needed someone next to me.

Merrill crawled in behind me without a word, her warm body spooning mine from behind. One arm gently slid around my waist, holding me close as her breath tickled at my neck.

We fell asleep to the scratching of Varric's quill on parchment.