Disclaimer:

Mrs. J.K., We can not compare to you… or your bank account… not for our lack of trying from our side. I have to tell you though, that when you are looking down on us from above… we can see under your skirt. Those are the small trills that keep us going. Okay… totally inappropriate but true nevertheless.

AN: I am trying to keep every Layer down to six or seven chapters. So sometimes I have to cut some corners to get it done. The reason? I am an ass? Lazy? Control freak? Maybe it is for people to be able to read my story in one day. Meh, pick one or two and you are probably right.

Previous:

I opened my eyes in the Hogwarts Express at the station… Wtf? What happened yesterday? Hermione would never agree to that! My parents would never allow it! Luna alone would drive Dad up the wall. Most of all, it felt like a dream to me.

I looked outside, a lot of the muggle kids were dressed weirdly. Like this is… why does that kid have a poster of the Rolling Stones on his trunk?

LEVEL FIVE COMPLETED SUCCESSFULLY

Wait a fucking minute! Now I get it! ROB used Luna to mess me up! This was a Dream!

35 A Little Shit Again.

I concentrated on the dream and tried to find where it started, it was yesterday! The whole day was a dream! I am glad and sad for Dudley somehow. Glad that he didn't end up with a Harem, and sad he didn't get a Harem… it is hard to please everyone.

I took stock of myself... High-end clothes, my trunk was old but again of very good quality… I better sit down and meditate on who I am. And... there it is! Sirius Fucking Black! The Withe Sheep of the family.

And what do you know, I am a Little Shit again! It is my first year all over! Let's see… The Game is gone, Voldemort's skills and knowledge too… ROB nerfed me well, but not all of it is gone, I remember most of the spells and skills I learned from the last Layer, but I need to train them up again, like my Wandless and silent casting.

After levitating my trunk down and taking my extra pair of shoes out, I put the trunk back. It is still pretty early and I passed my time getting adjusted to my current skill level. No more Fiendfires in the first couple of years. Bummer, I loved that spell.

There is a lot you can do with your shoes if you set your mind to it, levitating, tying the laces, giving them a shoe shine, letting them tapdance. I just stopped myself from vanishing them, that would be bad, the Hag would throw temper, and a Crucio as punishment is not uncommon. Don't blame me, Sirius calls her The Hag, I just keep on calling her that, she is one though.

Someone cleared their throat to get my attention, "Is it alright if I join you here, or do you want to be alone with your shoes?"

I looked at him, Potter of course, I shrugged: "Come in, mate, I prefer someone my age rather than my extra pair of shoes or some snotty upper years. Here let me help with your trunk."

I put my shoes aside and offered my hand: "Sirius Black, the White sheep… no, the White Dog of the Family."

After a shake, "James Potter, I don't know what animal or what color I am. So, a Black?…"

That moment two others stood at the open door, a girl asked: "Can we sit here with you?"

Let's see, Mum, Mum, Target, Mum, Aunty, and accompanied by Little Shitty Bat. A pretty redhead with green eyes and a small black scarecrow are standing in the doorway waiting for an answer.

"Come in," I said and pointed to the benches, "plenty of room to sit, and by the look of you, I bet you can be a great source of information."

I showed off by levitating their trunks in the racks, I am getting admiring looks from all of them, we were not supposed to know any spells. Meh, I am rich and good-looking, I can get away with it.

I shrugged at their curious looks, "I found an old wand in the attic and nicked some books from our library. I thought getting a head start would get me some points before I lose them. Hello, my name is Sirius Black and this is my best friend James Potter."

"Best friend?" asked James.

I nodded: "Yep, best friend, my only friend sounds kind of pathetic, you know."

"I can live with that." said James, "So, you will be my best Girlfriend, Miss?"

"I am Snape, Severus Snape! And she is not your girlfriend!" snapped Snape at James.

I better interrupt before it gets out of hand: "Hold on mate! He was being friendly, not asking her hand in marriage. And for the record, she has a mouth and can answer for herself or is she your property?"

"Sev, I don't need you to defend me when they are just friendly. My name is Lilly Evans. And what did you mean by a great source of information?"

James answered: "Well, you are clearly a Muggle-born, both of us are purebloods, so we don't know anything from the Muggle world. In exchange, we can offer you our knowledge from our side."

"Sev already told me most of it." she said, "I don't mind answering some questions, Sev can answer them too."

I asked: "About Hogwarts too? The houses and customs? Where do you want to get sorted for example?"

"Gryffindor for me!" Shouted James with a fist in the air.

Snape snorted: "The house of the Reckless. Slytherin is the best house! The house of the cunning and ambitious."

I looked at him with pity: "Then meeting us is your good fortune mate, I have to pop some of your fantasies. Tell me, the pretty redhead beside you, is she your friend?"

Snape got all defensive: "She is my best friend and you better don't hurt her or else."

I shook my head: "Well my tentative friend, she is a muggle-born, you are a half-blood that is raised in the Muggle world, Muggle Father I guess? Yeah, by the look on your face, he is. By marrying a muggle she must have been kicked out of her family, isn't she?"

James saw where I was heading by his look of understanding, I continued, "Well, your Mum missed the latest trends in our world, Mr. Snape, there is a pure-blood movement that despises muggles and even half-bloods. And guess what House they all prefer? As a half-blood you will be a bottom feeder, the lowest class, judging by your clothes you are not rich, raised on the muggle side with no backer, which are four points preventing a happy time in Slytherin for you. Count on the fact you are best friends with a so-called filthy muggle-born, your life will be hell there. Believe me, I know, I have three cousins in Slytherin."

Snape was not yet convinced, I added: "This is what will happen to you, this year you are going to be bullied until you seek protection by hugging the legs of an upper year, a Pure Blood, you will take his habits over, bullying Muggleborn and yes, your best friend included. By the end of your fourth year, she will hate you for it. Tell me, Mr. Snape, is Slytherin still the best House for you?"

James confirmed it: "It got worse the last ten years they told me, I doubt a Muggleborn will survive in Slytherin. Black is right, your friendship will die if you get sorted in Slytherin. You don't have to believe us of course. Ah, we are moving!"

Xxxxx

James is a fun bloke to be with, Lilly is a bright happy social kid, and Snape is a gloomy loner. I even taught them some spells, the Le-vi-O-Sa being the first one. By the look on his face Snape didn't believe me about Slytherin, well, I tried.

I have bigger worries, a Voldemort on the move for power, and Horcruxes in unknown places. Where the hell was he keeping them? I think if I go after the ring in the Shack he will find out eventually, so it will be with the Tiara. The curse on the Dada position is active, removing the Tiara will stop the curse but alert Voldy that someone is after his Soul.

He got the Helga's Cup and Salazar's Locket a year or two after he graduated, so those are Horcruxes too. Where is he hiding them? Probably Albania, there must be a reason why his wraith hid in the woods of Albania, a safety anchor perhaps?

Let's focus on the here and now, I have seven years to cripple the power base of Tom. Outing his real name and origin will be the first step, exposing his real nature and goals is next… fuck, I forgot the old goat, he will be the first obstacle. I am going to be on his radar the moment I join Gryffindor.

I am boxed in from three sides, My hag of a Mother is the third enemy to defeat, that bitch used a Crucio more than a dozen times on me, each time just for a second, but it hurts like a bitch. Payback Will be a bitch, and the doormat, AKA Dad, will get some too… Hmm, I know how I can make the first move.

I levitated my trunk down and took a paper and quill out. I closed the trunk and let it levitate in front of me so I had a stable surface to write on. Wide-eyed, the kids saw me write my letter on a floating trunk, I know, part of that was showing off, one of the flaws of House Black, just a minor one.

Xxxxx

I started writing:

Dear Grandfather,

I write to you in advance to warn you of the fact that I plan to sort in Gryffindor if I have a choice in the sorting process.

Why You ask? it is because of my Mother's insanity. For the last two years, she has been harping me about Slytherin, as if being in Slytherin is the only reason to be a Black. Why?

Are we the servants of Slytherin? Does it matter where I sleep for seven years at Hogwarts? Does that tell me who I am? Does Hogwarts tell you that I am worthy or not to be a Black? Even if being in Slytherin would help me in my goals and ambitions, I am sure being in Gryffindor does the same.

Mother threatened to kick me out of the family if I didn't sort in Slytherin. Tell me, Grandfather, is House Black a worthy House if they are so small-minded to kick their own child out if I don't sleep where they want?

I thought we Blacks bow to no one, why are Mother and Father groveling in the dirt for Slytherin?

I am Heir Sirius Orion Black and I am carving my own path through Hogwarts! I will not let a school tell me who I am supposed to be, I am a Black, not a Slytherin or a Hogwarts!

If you somehow find me unworthy, there is always Reggy, Mother is training him now that I can not protect him anymore, He can't stand the pain of a Crucio like I do. If you can, take him away from that crazy woman.

Your Grandson, Sirius Orion Black.

Xxxxx

I still have it! With a bit of luck, Walburga the Bitch will get her own Crucios, believe me, a Crucio hurts like Hell. Want to try it yourself? Take a needle and prick it in your fingertip… I'll wait…. Now, imagine the pain of that prick on your whole body… There you go, it hurts like a bitch you tell me? I agree.

All I have to do now is wait for my cousins to pay a visit. I folded my letter, and levitated my trunk back on the rack, under the deadly silence from the companions in my train compartment.

I looked up and saw their awed faces, I asked: "What is the matter? Sorry for ignoring you all, but I just had to write this letter first."

James was the first to get his wits back: "Bloody hell, Black, how long have you been practicing? That is something I only saw my Dad do a few times and he is one of the most powerful wizards in Britain!"

I shrugged: "It is not that hard, once you control the flow of your magic, fine-tuning it is easy. I have been doing it for two years now."

James grumbled: "It looks like I have some catching up to do. As my best friend you are obligated to aid me, you know that right? That is something best friends do."

Lily had a strange look in her eye when she said: "Would you teach us too? I don't mind being your friend, I bet Severus wants to learn it too."

"Well, Mr. Snape? Do you want to be my friend? Even if I want to be a Gryffindor?" I asked.

Snape scoffed: "Why do you think you are going to be sorted in Gryffindor?"

I grinned: "I heard of a secret method to sort in the house of your choice. You have to sing a song in your mind when they sort you, a brave song will get you in Gryffindor, a complicated song is for Ravenclaw, a song for trickery is for Slytherin…"

"And a song about loyal friends is for Hufflepuff." Finished Lily. "Who told you that, Mr. Black? Was it Dudley?"

WTF? I snapped my head to Lily, ROB brought Hermione here? There are only a few who could know that and they are all in the last Layer. To test the waters I answered: "Yep, Dursley spilled the beans, do you know him?"

Lily shook her head, "I heard my friend Hermione talk about him, how he travels the world and all."

I nodded, "Granger, now that is a smart woman, was she dating Dudley?"

Lily answered, "She got Soul bonded with Harry, they are good friends though, too bad they moved to Australia along with her parents."

Great! I am not alone anymore! If I get it right, Lilly has memories of the Hermiones from the last two Layers. Sorry James and Snape, but this girl is going to have my name tattooed on her bum.

She glared at me and added: "And this time she doesn't share with anyone! He better remember that! She is not afraid to kick his butt, you know."

I swallowed and said: "Don't spread the love, I got it. I will tell him so."

Snape asked: "Lilly? Why did you never tell me about Dursley and Granger?"

Lilly shrugged "They moved away before I met you Sev, I bet you didn't tell me everything about your home life too. I just remembered it when Mr. Black started telling that line, someone must have spelled that memory away."

James commented: "You must have seen them doing Magic and they obliviated you. We have to do that to keep our society a secret."

Good save, Lilly! They can't deny that possibility. Wizards give the line "I don't remember" a whole new dimension.

Lilly sighed: "I remember it clearly now, Petunia and I were playing hide and seek with our friends and hid in their backyard, Hermione said sorry and waved her wand."

I better cover my side, "I met them at my uncle Alphard, my uncle didn't care that they were Muggleborn, I even think he helped them move to Australia."

The door of our compartment slammed open and three witches came in uninvited. My cousins, the warm one, Andromeda, the crazy one, Bellatrix, and the cold one Narcissa.

I looked up and said: "Thank you for knocking on the door like proper Ladies, please come in my dear cousins, why did you feel the need to visit your poor lonely cousin? Was it a sense of Family Unity?"

Bellatrix giggled, "No silly, your Mum told us to look out for you when you are in Slytherin, she said you needed some discipline. I would love to discipline you."

I grinned back: "Sorry Trixy, I am not into that. Maybe in a few years if you are not sold off by then."

Her silly grin disappeared: "That was not Funny, ickle little Sirius. Maybe I have to discipline you now."

"You bringing my Hag of a Mother up isn't funny either, Crazy Trixy. Besides, I plan to go to Gryffindor just to spite that Hag." I shot back.

Andromeda warned me: "Is that wise, Sirius? She won't like it when you are not in Slytherin. And you have no right to slander your Mother in public, that is not done."

I glared at Andromeda: "A dozen Crucios give me the right to call her that Andy! Besides, it is just a boarding school, who cares where I sleep."

Reeducating the Blacks, step one. Get the snake out of their head. Now I have a nice surprise for Snape.

"Say Bellatrix, what would you do to a Slyterin halfblood that grew up in the muggleworld? The dad is a muggle and the mother a cast-out pureblood." I asked innocently.

Bellatrix giggled: "Oh, ickle little Sirius, I would make it my pet. Licking my boots will be its first task, just to get the muggle filth out of its mind. Oh, I will surely play with that half-blood. Is it a boy or a girl? I can rent out the girl to the upper years, you know."

A few moments later they left, I held Andromeda back and handed my letter, "Andy, can you owl this letter to my Grandfather if I get sorted in Gryffindor? He is the only one that can control that Hag."

Andromeda nodded: "I will do that, Sirius. Personally, I don't care which House you are in, but others do, you know." she closed the door behind her.

I turned to a shell-shocked Snape and asked: "Well, Mr. Snape? Are you ready to lick her boots? I bet she will make them nice and tasty."

James shook his head: "Dad told me that the blood purity movement is getting out of hand, but friend, that Trixy of yours is one crazy woman. Mr. Snape? If you are smart, Ravenclaw is a good option, if you don't like Gryffindor, Hufflepuff is a fine House too."

Xxxxx

Lily sat next to me in the boat and softly asked: "This isn't going to be easy, isn't it? Why do you think I got dragged into this?"

"Because I told my Hermiones my secret, I guess." I answered, "I am flying blind now, maybe ROB thinks I need a hand or thinks it is funnier. Merlin knows where Tom hid his trinkets. Gryffindor for us?"

She nodded, "Talk to that Hat and tell it to keep Sev out of Slytherin. Although Bellatrix woke him up, he had been nagging about Slytherin for months. I woke up in Lilly this morning, You?"

"Two minutes before you entered my compartment." I answered, I sighed, "Let's talk this over in private at the RoR. Snape is burning holes in the back of my head with his glares."

Xxxxx

McGonagall led us into the Great Hall, Hatty did his complimentary song and started sorting. No familiar faces this time.

When the Hat got on my head, his voice shouted out loud, "What in Morgana's saggy tits is this all about?"

He sifted through my memories with a vengeance, after ten minutes, It said "I can't believe it! Sixth Layer? I am a comedy prop in a book?"

"You said the same thing last time. You also told me these worlds are real." I said to the Hat, "My job is to change it all and to make it entertaining, you saw the changes I want to make, do you agree with them?"

"Have it your way, boy. It is about time one of yours got back into Gryffindor, they used to be there in the beginning. GRYFFINDOR!"

I looked at the Slytherin table, Andromeda smiled, Narcissa looked cold as usual, and Bellatrix was raging mad for some reason.

Evans Lilly, GRYFFINDOR!

Lupin Remus, GRYFFINDOR!

Pettigrew Peter, HUFFLEPUFF!

Potter James, GRYFFINDOR!

Snape Severus, HUFFLEPUFF!

That will make the prick a bit more humble. The Puffs will set him straight. Lilly sat next to me and said: "You made a big impression on Severus, it opened his eyes, now he has to get over his obsession with me."

"You forgot your stag, dear Deer. What about him?" I asked.

She glanced at me and answered: "I think I'll go for a Black Dog this time, with a bit of training I can get it to do some tricks. As I told you, you are mine. Nobody else this time you hear me horn dog?"

I protested: "Yours? All this time? Why haven't I shagged you once?"

She huffed: "It wasn't my fault you were not fast enough."

I hissed silently: "I was fourteen, you fifteen, we were bloody kids! We will continue this conversation in the RoR, Missy."

Xxxxx

In our dorm we introduced ourselves, I said: "Remus Lupin? Wolf Wolf? What was your dad thinking mate? A werewolf with a sick sense of humor will turn you into one. Anyway, my name is Sirius Black, Sirius or Siri will do, Heir Black is for the snobs. For my goal in life, I have set my eyes on Lilly Evans and will try to win her over."

James groaned: "I was planning to do that too."

I shrugged: "Hey James, I don't own her. She can decide for herself who she wants to spend the rest of her life with, I have seven years to convince her I am the one. Well, I better prepare for Mum's Howler tomorrow."

Xxxxx

The next morning at breakfast, like clockwork, Mommy had her Howler sent to me.

SIRIUS BLACK! YOU ARE THE SHAME OF HOUSE BLACK! HOW DARE YOU SHUN HOUSE SLYTHERIN AND SORT INTO GRYFFINDOR! YOU BETTER BEHAVE OR I KICK YOU OUT OF THE FAMILY!

"Hold on Virgo, I have a letter for Mother, where is that paper... Ah, no need for a quill, start recording, MOTHER! WHO CARES IN WHAT HOUSE I AM AT SCHOOL! IT IS ONLY FOR SEVEN BLOODY YEARS. AND A FEMALE OF A BRANCH FAMILY DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE THAT I AM A BLACK OR NOT! STOP EMBARRASSING HOUSE BLACK BY SENDING THESE BLOODY HOWLERS! Stop recording. Here you go, Virgo."

When I saw all the Slytherins look at me I said out loud: "What? Is House Slytherin better than the rest? The last Heir to Slytherin, Morphin Gaunt died in Azkaban after he murdered his own Father, his sister was a squib. What is there to be proud about? His sister Merope even eloped with a muggle."

Too much? Nah, it just got me a ticket to the headmaster's office, I wonder if he set his wards like in the last Layer. I bet a lot of the Sytherins will send an owl home with that juicy gossip.

Lilly softly commented: "You pushing it too fast Sirius, we are too young to defend ourselves."

"I have to put a stop to his recruiting in Hogwarts, Lily" I argued, "I am getting the word out that he is not the Heir of Slytherin, or if he is, then he is nothing more than a Muggle-born or half-blood at most. That is important information, that will halve his recruiting and stop his funding."

"The headmaster wants to speak to you in his office after you complete your breakfast, Mr. Black. And next time you send a Howler, do so in private," said McGonagall when she handed me my class schedule.

"Meetings with the headmaster have to be done in the presence of my head of House, Professor. Are you going to be there?" I asked.

"I will if you insist, Mr. Black." she stiffly answered.

"Thank you, Professor, I insist. For the issue of my Howler, I must decline. If Hogwarts has no problem allowing Howlers to humiliate its students, then I have no problem sending one back in public. I am done with my breakfast Professor."

Xxxxx

Bloody Mars Bars again. McGonagall opened the door and let me in.

"Thank you, Minerva, you can go now," said the manipulator.

When McGonagall turned and left, I followed.

"Mr. Black, where are you going?" came a voice from behind.

I shrugged and said: "You ended the meeting Headmaster, I followed Professor McGonagall back out."

McGonagall turned to me: "Go back inside Mr. Black."

"Only if you stay with me as my head of House Gryffindor, Professor, I read the rule book." I pointed out, "Besides, staying alone in a room with an old unmarried man, is improper."

"Very well, come on then." she caved in.

The old man lost his twinkle, he heard me loud and clear. To get a grip on the conversation he asked: "Was it necessary to send a Howler to your Mother, Mr. Black? It is disrespectful to your mother. Besides sending mail has to be done in the owlery."

"No offense Sir, but in the wards is a setting to block Howlers, if you don't care about Howlers coming in, why do you care for Howlers going out? Do you get pleasure from watching your students being humiliated?"

McGonagall chided me: "Mr. Black! Be more respectful to the Headmaster!"

Dumbledore chuckled: "No harm done, Minerva, you see, Mr. Black, the board of governors demanded that howlers be allowed to enter the school."

I shook my head and told him: "The founders set the rule that no outside influence may harm the student's welfare. Also, the Headmaster can overrule the Governors if the physical or mental health of the students is in danger. Getting a Howler at Breakfast is humiliating, Headmaster, and damaging our confidence, many will be laughed at for weeks. I was prepared for this one, if I didn't send one back, I would be the laughing stock for weeks. I find your excuse not valid, sir."

I love Daphne for forcing me to study the rule book, I will give her a cookie when she is two years old. Or in the next Layer.

He chuckled again, "That rule leaves a lot of room for interpretations, Mr. Black, and can easily be abused. What I called you in for was your statement about the Heir of Slytherin, where did you get this information?"

"Sir? Are you feeling well? Since when are you asking for confidential information from a Heir? Did nobody teach you proper etiquette? I guess not, because even passive Legilimence is illegal, Sir. I let this slide once, the next time I call for my Lord and the DMLE. Good day, Headmaster."

And Mr. Black left the office. I felt him brush my defenses and make it the reason for my escape. It will also let him know I am not in his corner. My best defense against Dumbledore is to stay out of range. Hmm, what is my first class… Potions, crap, now I have to run to my dorm and back down… where does Slughorn teach his class?

More important, I forgot my shoes on the train!