R2 Interlude 29: Liu Bei's Folly, Cao Cao's Triumph; Una furtiva lagrima
Long ago, I thought I understood the world around me. Or at least my place in it, and that certain facts were immutable.
That I was forever condemned to wander in darkness, dependent on the kindness of others. That my father did not care if I lived or died. That my mother was long since dead. That my brother was getting colder and more remote each year.
While I am thankful that many of these truths proved to be things that could be overcome, learning the truth about both my parents was an ordeal part of me wishes I had never had to face.
I could accept that my father was a worse person than I ever conceived, he made no secret of his uncaring and brutal nature. Or that he would go out of his way to protect his older brother for the vile things he did. These revelations did not linger as barbs in me. Rather, they inflamed my will to live and kindled long dormant feelings of anger and resentment, things I had thought discarded and buried under the weight of sorrow and helplessness of my situation.
But learning that my mother was not only still in the world of the living as a possessive ghost, but that she wholeheartedly supported my father's diabolical agenda, to the point of abandoning us to the forsaken wastelands of Japan following the Second Pacific War?
Hearing the ring of truth in Big Brother's voice as he said that shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.
How could she? How could she do this to us? How could my mother, the kindest and most incredible woman I had ever known, abandon us like that? How could she let this terrible fate I endured happen to me?!
It's not fair! It's not fair! I was only seven years old! What right did she have to take my childhood away from me?! What right did Charles zi Britannia have to condemn me as a weakling for being unable to evade the gunfire of my evil dwarf uncle?!
She could have protected us! She could have demanded we be rescued from Japan! Instead, three children wandered a wasteland of corpses, all the while hiding from either my uncle's hounds out to kill us, deceived soldiers who would bring us back to that wretched city of our birth while killing our friend Suzaku, or desperate Japanese eager to take out their anger and vengeful feelings out on my brother and I, guilty only of being Britannian, the same race as those who destroyed their country.
Perhaps I should be grateful that my eyes could not open back then. That my brother and Suzaku both lied to me about what that wretched stench was, and about what our environs looked like. Even so..I could not bear to tell them that I knew. That I already had some notion of what the miasma of death and rot smelled like. Even if I didn't know intellectually what it was, some part of me knew back then that they were trying to comfort me with a plausible lie, to shield me from the uncaring world around us. And for that, I will always love them.
Throwing a temper tantrum at him for lying to me about mother, that was the apex of behavior of a spoiled brat. Utterly shameful and despicable.
"Oh god, what does Alice think of me now? Does she hate me after having seen the kind of petty childish anger I can sink to?" I whisper aloud, holding my legs close as I rock on my bed, fresh tears forming in my eyes at the thought.
Kind, honest, beautiful and faithful Alice. I've shamed you too with this disgraceful behavior.
"Nunna?" "Nunnally?"
Two voices, one with a slight Japanese accent startle me, making me turn around in surprise, seeing Kaguya in a short…an extremely short mini skirt and blouse, and Alice in jeans and a t- shirt, both of them looking at me with concern and worry in their eyes.
Before I can do more than gulp, both of them are sitting beside me, arms around me in a hug as I shiver in place.
"Alice, I-I-I…" I stammer, looking the girl I love in her red eyes, my own certainly mirroring the redness from the bitter tears I've been crying.
Alice frowns, looking me right in the eyes, "Nunna, tell me who hurt you. I'll make sure they're hurting even worse. You need me to do something, I'll get it done. No matter what, I'm here for you."
Her declaration of protection sends me into a fresh spasm of crying as I clutch onto her. Oh god, Alice! I don't deserve you! I'm a hateful, bitter and angry girl! If my big brother wasn't capable of fighting the world, if our positions were reversed, I would gladly have taken on the burden to protect him! Instead he turned himself into the Demon King, ripping his own heart out so he could protect mine! Even now he's recovering from nearly dying again!
"I don't deserve it! I don't deserve everyone doing these terrible things for my sake! Everyone I love is getting hurt trying to make the world a better place, and I can't do a thing to help! I'm a wicked, spiteful, evil girl!" I scream, my head shaking from side to side in despair, face buried in my hands as I sob, long buried anxiety rearing it's ugly head.
Kaguya rubs my back, her voice speaking clearly in contrast to my own, "Nunnally, no one deserves to have gone through what you did. And no one here would dare say you don't have a right to your anger or your sorrow."
"But there's one thing I should ask. Who is saying you don't deserve help, or your dream of a better world should remain only an illusion? Who named you with these foul sobriquets?" she asks, an eyebrow raised archly, her ever present fan set aside on the bed.
Alice snorts in anger, her cheeks puffing up in a way I would find adorable were I in a better mood, "Yeah, who's the jerk I gotta punch for being mean to you? I don't care even if it's your brother or Nelly, I'll break their nose for making you cry!"
Her declaration makes me clutch to her shirt all the harder, wetting it with bitter tears as I shake my head from side to side, "No one called me that, Alice! I am that! It's the truth! What kind of a sister rips her sibling's hearts out?! What kind of a girl wants to see her parents die for being horrible people?! A vile and hateful one, that's what kind! Waaaahh-!"
My wailing is suddenly interrupted by the feeling of something lightly tapping my head. Puzzled, I turn to look at Kaguya and the lupine smile upon her lips.
"またくだな。" (Honestly.)
Before a word escapes my lips, she continues, her fan opening to halfway conceal her mouth, "Nunnally, please do not take this the wrong way. But at this moment, I am both exasperated and bemused at how uncanny the family resemblance between you and Lelouch is."
What?
"The two of you both utterly fall to pieces at the thought of the other one getting hurt. And you both seem to have a tendency to enter into emotional meltdowns when you get completely overwhelmed by what's happening. The key difference being?"
Her fan lowers as emerald meets amethyst in a firm gaze, "He, or she depending on their mood, takes medication to help with his emotional equilibrium and is aware of it being a problem."
Medication?
"The joints he smokes. Those aren't just for the pain from his surgeries. He says they also help him act more like a reasonable human being. Whether they actually work in that regard is a matter of opinion, fu fu fu fu," she giggles, a hand over her mouth as I lay back in Alice's arms, thoughts racing through my head.
Am I truly that much like Big Brother…what a silly question. That I'm even asking it is proof enough that Kaguya isn't wrong. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong either.
"Kaguya, Alice..that doesn't make what I feel right. Everything that's happening is because of me, and people are getting hurt, dying for my sake. I ask you two, what kind of a despicable person wants to make her own parents suffer?"
A pregnant pause fills the room, the enormous elephant I've given voice to occupying the space as my two friends consider what I've said-eh?
A squeak escapes my lips as I'm put in the middle of a group hug with both of them holding me close, one hand rubbing my back, another holding my slim shoulders.
Alice frowns as she bites her lip, "Nunna, this is gonna sound…kinda bad. But bluntly? People who do what your parents did to their kids? They don't deserve to call themselves parents. Heck, I'm pretty sure Uncle Robert would say kill em too."
The Japanese princess on my left nods in agreement, "Alice-chan is correct. Lelouch has let that anger fester in him and it's hurt him in a number of ways. But that anger isn't wrong. I don't think you'd find anyone among our group who would advocate for mercy for them. Nor would anyone here begrudge you your rightful claim to vengeance."
Something about the way she's saying this sounds familiar.
"...Did CC tell you that?" I say flatly, giving her a mild glare, which she attempts to deflect by holding her fan in front of her face and smiling enigmatically. Nice try Kaguya. I've been around CC long enough to know when someone is voicing her opinion on something.
Kaguya shrugs as she gets off the bed, dusting off her skirt, which I'm still surprised she's wearing given how cold it is around this area, "Just because I agree with CC about this regarding Lulu doesn't mean she or I can't be right when it applies to you. You both have this endearing and irritating tendency to pile guilt on yourselves like it's Ishidaki and you're the designated victim."
Ishi-what? Stone hugging?
"Is this some weird Japanese thing?" Alice says with a roll of her eyes before wincing as I pinch her for being rude.
"Be nice, Alice. I'm sure it's probably not that strange-" "It's someone sitting seiza on a ridged wooden platform while stone blocks are placed on their legs, crushing them gradually."
…I retract my previous statement. Sitting up with a hand over my face, I sigh in exasperation, "Was that really the best metaphor you could have used, Kaguya? I didn't need the mental imagery of that right now." "I knew it was something weird! You should pinch her this time, Nunna!" Alice crows with a nasty grin on her face that reminds me far too much of members of my family.
Alice, much as I adore her, occasionally has a tendency to mouth off at people that I sometimes wish she'd hold her tongue on…oh. She's doing it so I won't think about what's bothering me. Are they both doing that?
"Oh ho ho ho, are you sure you want her to do that? I might like it," my dark haired friend purrs with a lascivious look in her eyes. Part of me wants to blame Big Brother for her being a perv. The other part remembers that Kaguya has always been like this since I first met her. The difference is that she has outlets and people enabling her now. For better or worse.
Alice's face colors red as she stammers, "C-c-cut it out! Nunna isn't interested in that stuff! And neither am I! Go bother her brother if you want that kinda thing!"
"Aww, are you sure? You might like it if you tried it, A-li-ce-ch-an," she whispers with slow enunciation and a lick of her lips punctuated with a wicked half smile.
Truthfully, Kaguya is very cute and she's someone I like a great deal. But I don't think I like her like that. Besides, it would be unfair to Alice for me to put her on the spot like that…at the moment.
Oh dear, that's a very bad thought. I think I'll put that one away for a year or two and revisit it then. Regardless, I am feeling distracted from my woes and a bit better after not being condemned for the hateful feelings I hold.
"Kaguya, please stop teasing my knight. You wouldn't like it if I was mean to you, would you?" I note with a small smile, which is about all I can muster at the moment.
With a toss of her braids, Kaguya twirls and starts walking to the door, "I can tell when I'm not wanted. Do be gentle with her, Alice. Nunnally needs a bit of TLC right now."
Some alone time with just Alice and me in my bed enjoying each other's company sounds quite lovely actually.
"For the record?"
Both of us turn to see Kaguya peeking out from the door, a mischievous smile promising something devious on her lips.
"If it wouldn't cause endless drama with your brother, I'd be very tempted to ask if you wanted me to stay and make it a menage a troi~, fu fu fu-eep!" Kaguya chortles before ducking under a thrown pillow courtesy of Alice and subsequently beating a hasty retreat.
"Get outta here, you lil perv!" she squawks in outrage, bristling at Kaguya's barbs. The sight of her cheeks puffed out in anger glaring at the door sends me into a fit of giggles that almost makes me fall off the bed.
"Hahahahahaha!" "H-h-hey! Stop that! Quit teasing me, Nunna!"
Unfortunately for her, I truly did need that laugh and thus am in no hurry to stop anytime soon. So sadly, my dear Alice will have to-hey! Cut that out!
"Alice, hahaha, stop it, hahaha!" I squeal as her nimble fingers start tickling me, laughter bubbling out uncontrollably.
"No way! I'll teach you to laugh at me, Nunna!" Alice exclaims gleefully, pouncing on me as we roll around the bed.
Moments like this, when the world's troubles seem far away and not present, when I'm with the ones I love and enjoying life? I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Thank you, Big Brother.
After a while, Alice& I kissed and made up, figuratively and literally. While I wouldn't have minded staying in bed to laze about with her, Kaguya did text me to ask for our attendance at a tea party so we could finally meet her old friend Jiang Lihua, the Tianzi of the Chinese Federation.
But before that, there's someone I need to talk to first.
"Alice, go on ahead. I'll be there later. There's something I have to do," I say, turning towards a private room in the medical wing.
Rolling her eyes with a huff, she snarks at me, "If your brother tries that stupid "I'm your older sibling so you have to do what I say" thing, just punch him in his smug face. He needs to learn that you're a big girl, not an invalid anymore."
I could argue the point with her, but she's not entirely wrong. Big Brother has done that on a few occasions. Not nearly as often as he used to, but he does tend to high hand people, especially when he's stressed.
"Don't worry. I know how to handle him. He's not the only vi Britannia around here," I remark with a giggle as I adjust my Mobius mask on my face. It's a bit annoying having to constantly wear this thing, but needs must. Perhaps I can ask him how he handles it with the Zero mask.
Let's see..which room was it…ah, here we are.
"Big Brother?" I call out, waiting for a response. If he's napping, I'll just come back later. Resting to heal is more important than my bothering him right now.
Huh? What was that? I thought I heard something. There it is again. Oh! That means he's awake. I'll just use my access card to get in and-
Wait, there's someone there with him. Oh it's Sister Euphie playing a game of cards on the bed with him.
"Alright, cards down."
A giggle escapes my lips as Euphie shows her hand, a heart straight flush to big brother's full house.
Slapping his palm against his face, he lies back sighing, "How? Seriously, how? I've lost six games in a row. I'm counting cards and watching you deal. I know you're not cheating, Pinky Princess."
Preening as she reshuffles the deck, Euphie replies, "Well maybe you're just not very good at this, brother Lelouch."
Lighting up a joint as he snorts, he rolls his eyes, "Me, the poster child for Murphy's favorite chew toy, having bad luck? Perish the thought..-" he trails off noticing me standing there, hands held behind my dress, mask still on my head.
"Big Brother, is this a good time? I have something I want to talk to you about. And I'd rather not wait."
The sight of my violet eyes meeting his as I doff the mask informs him of precisely what I want to talk about.
Turning to sister Euphie he shakes his head slowly, "Sorry Euphemia. You'll have to excuse my leaving the game early. This conversation is long, long overdue. Please give us the room"
Given the stern look she's getting and the obvious tension in the room, it does not take much for her older sister to realize what we want to discuss.
"Very well. I'll let anyone looking for you two not to disturb you. All I ask is that you be kind to each other and remember that you're siblings. Please excuse me," my pink-haired sister vocalizes, putting the cards away into a pocket of her dress before leaving the room, leaving the two of us alone.
My brother, the diabolical demon king who would claim the world to save it from itself. And me, his formerly crippled sister, the one for whom he has given and sacrificed so much.
"I'm sorry for throwing a temper tantrum at you awhi-" "No."
I beg your pardon?
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he continues, "No, Nunnally, my dear sunshine. Of all people in this world, you have the right to curse and scourge me above anyone else. Especially for this. I should have told you sooner."
…...Oh my god.
"You knew."
Nodding as he takes a puff of his joint, eyes closed in pain as my fists clench.
"When?"
A cloud of smoke hangs in the air like an arrow suspended in the sky, about to drop and pierce an unsuspecting enemy.
"I knew…back in Japan. Not too long after I met CC and won her to my side."
*slap*
His cheek throbs red from my hand imprint as I sit on the bed, glaring at him, unable to meet my case.
Taking a deep breath, feelings long buried flow out from my mouth, "Why didn't you tell me? You promised never to lie to me, big brother. You said you'd always be there for me."
Teeth grit together as I struggle not to lose my composure, "So what gave you the right to keep this from me, Big Brother?"
Smoke wafts in the air, the only sign of any movement from him, his body as motionless as a statue.
Lelouch…why? Why couldn't you trust me with this? Why did you break your promise?
"Big brother. That night I opened my eyes. You…you promised me you'd never lie to me. And yet that night..you never told me this."
Turning around, my long blonde tresses hanging like a curtain over my body as my hands clench at my dress, tears staining the fabric, lip quivering as I speak, "My mother was alive, all these years. And when you knew, you hid it from me. To protect me? To spare me the pain? You arrogant, conceited, self absorbed bastard…"
Pain like needles digging into my heart makes my hands clench together, knuckles white as I feel my nails dig into my palms, "My father is an evil man who wants to destroy everything because of…some…some..some mad delusion. And my mother? She's a despicable woman who'd throw her own children away for his vision. How do you live with that, Big Brother? Tell me."
Screaming at him as he flinches, "How can I live with how much I hate them for doing this to us?!"
Words fail me as I sob uncontrollably, red furrow marks on my hands from where my nails dug in, bitter salty tears dripping like rain down my face. Maybe…maybe we are cursed. Maybe the world truly does hate us-eh?
Strong arms encircle me, pulling me to a comforting lap, a familiar fringe of dark hair hanging over my face as I look up at the stricken countenance of my brother as our faces nearly touch.
"I never wanted you to feel…this. This black burning hatred, that sticks like blazing pitch, that consumes everything around it in an eternal pyre…this diabolic rage that grips my soul."
Swallowing like he's gulping down a foul medicine, he mouths out words haltingly, like every effort to speak is a barb he's attempting to pull out, "Not this..never this. You were…and always will be..my guiding light. The innocence I wanted…to protect. The last good thing..from our family. No price was too high…sunshine."
A laugh, a thing born of a heart drowning in sorrow erupts from his mouth, "Ha ha ha ha…and look at us now. Look upon my works ye mighty, and despair. Am I not Ozymandias, my kingdom and my hopes laid low as a monument to my failures? For is not this venomous thing within my heart claiming yours, a failure most supreme in its depravity and waste?"
It takes an effort not to flinch, to make any kind of sound of alarm at the look in his eyes, the fury, the ambition, the utter loss displayed there, a pain magnified by the lines crossing about his face from his implants as his eyes glow a baleful red. Big Brother…
"I would bear any cross, any burden, any pain, if only to keep it from you. Even having you hate me for eternity and cursing me as the greatest evil in this world, would be more acceptable than you bearing this damnation upon me, or having any of what I've done weigh upon your brow. My sins myriad and uncountable as they are, are mine alone. I will NEVER let any of what I've done or will do trouble you. I will fulfill the Divine Ambition, create a better world for you and those I love, or die tr-!" "NO!"
Small fists impact against his chest as I pounce on him, my weight pinning him down as I shriek at him, "NO! NO! NO! I WON'T LET YOU! I WON'T LET YOU SACRIFICE YOURSELF! NOT FOR THE WORLD, NOT FOR YOUR DREAM, NOT EVEN FOR ME! What good is a better world without you in it?! I love you, Big Brother! Don't leave me! You promised! You promised you'd always be there for me!"
None of this means anything if he isn't there! There isn't any brighter future where my big brother isn't part of it!
His implants glow even through his shirt as sinewy arms encircle me, holding me from striking any further blows, my enraged cries giving way to sobs as I lean against him, clutching his middle like a long lost teddy bear.
"Please…don't leave me. I don't want to be alone in the dark again. Not like I was..," I sniffle, feeling fingers running through my hair and the irregular sound of his heartbeat in my ears.
Warm breath touches the crown of my forehead as a chaste kiss plants itself there, "Not even for the Divine Ambition would I accept that price. And you're not alone. You have Alice, your sisters, Kallen, CC, Milly, Kaguya, so many myriad souls all here for you and I. The Black Knights were made in service of a dream. A world where what happened to us, to all we know and cherish who have been hurt..does not happen again."
"Have faith, little sunshine. We'll get Suzaku back soon enough, and then we shall deal with our parents..one way or the other."
Deal with them. A non descriptive way of saying we'll stop them even if it means killing them. A thought I'd never have conceived of or considered something I could accept. And yet..I can't bring myself to tell him no or even attempt a token objection.
"Big Brother..do what you have to do. I don't have enough compassion or love left for them to deter you from this, nor do I want to. Not for them. Not after all they've done. I love you, I love our family that we picked, the people we chose to be around us and to care for us," I whisper in a tired, resigned tone that belies my broken heart.
"But please, don't lose yourself doing it. I want my big brother to still be there at the end of everything. Not only Demon King Zero, but Lelouch vi Britannia as well. That mask and persona is as much a part of you as breathing, I understand that. But don't you ever, ever, let it consume you. If you do…I'll never forgive you. Do you understand me, Big Brother?" I declare, the passion in my eyes hard and shimmering like a torch flame encased in amethyst, letting him know how serious I am about this.
Click goes the sound of his lighter opening, the cloying scent of cannabis filling the air as he breathes in his medicine, sitting up to take it into his lungs.
"An ultimatum said with that kind of fervor, that sort of intensity, only an idiot could fail to understand it. Even as thick as I am sometimes, rest assured, message received."
Good. I let my head drop to snuggle against him as a deep bone weary sigh flows from my parted lips. Much as that hurt both of us, I think we both needed to air things out so they don't fester.
A dial tone makes my ears prick as I look up to see him holding his phone in his palm.
"Alice, it's me. Nunnally and I had a rather…intense discussion just now. We'll be indisposed for a little while. Let Kaguya know that I'd like to have a serious discussion with Lihua tomorrow please," he says, then winces at the string of curses and invectives Alice spews out in outrage.
"You smug jackass! What the hell did you do to upset her?! I knew it! I knew you were why she was feeling so moody and depressed! Wait 'ill I get my hands on you, I'll kick your balls so hard that even that crazy witch you're married to won't be able to find 'em! Fuck you, Lulu! If you weren't her older brother, I'd do way worse to you for how bad you made her feel earlier! You made her cry, dickhead!." my knight barks out as Big Brother holds the phone away form his face before handing it to me.
Rubbing the brow of his nose in frustration, he grumbles, "You talk to her. She clearly doesn't want to hear a goddamn thing from me."
My eyes narrow in a glare as they focus on the phone, hitting the video call button so Alice can see exactly the kind of look I have on my face.
"Alice. My dear Alice. I love you dearly, including your tendency to go off on people who've hurt me. I find it endearing and it warms my heart. However?"
Leaning in closer, a frown on my lips, I clearly enunciate my opinion of what she did. Because this is patently not acceptable.
"There are times when my brother needs to be upbraided and chastised for his bad behavior. I will be the first person to acknowledge he is not perfect and needs some help occasionally. But I NEVER want to hear you talk to him like that again. Do you understand me?"
Alice to her credit, realizes just how badly she mistook the situation and is very clearly sweating at facing my anger over her actions, "But he made you feel horribly depressed and act like he does when he's in one of his emo moods!"
Snorting in derision as he takes a puff of his smoke, said emo brother rolls his eyes, "I'm right here you know."
"Yeah, and? You're an emo manic-depressive megalomaniac. That's not an insult, it's just a fact."
….Painful as it is to admit, she's not wrong about him. But that still wasn't very nice.
"Ahem. Alice. I believe I told you to stop. Do so. Now."
Her blonde twintails droop down as her expression turns hangdog and crestfallen while she mumbles her reply, "Yes Nunna."
Sighing in exasperation, I close my eyes, "Please apologize to Kaguya and Miss Jiang for me. I'm sorry that I won't make it for the tea party. I truly do need some time with my brother right now."
Smoke clouds hang in the air briefly as my brother breathes out a whiff of smoke, "She's trying to destress right now, don't take it personally, Alice. She'll be alright."
Giving me a surly look at that, her eyes switch their focus to me as she sighs.
"Ok. I'm sorry I went off on him. I'll wait until you tell me it's ok before I get mad at him again," she declares, an absolutely adorable shy expression on her face that makes my heart beat faster at the sight of it.
"I'll see you later Alice. Love you," I mutter with my cheeks rosy red, hands fidgeting as her face turn scarlet with it's own blush, Big Brother meanwhile looking intensely amused and ready to say something that will no doubt be horribly embarrassing.
"Umm..err…love you too Nunna," she squeaks out, then snarls in anger seeing my brother finally start laughing to himself watching this. You couldn't even wait till Alice hung up?
"Hahahahah, oh my god, this, this is, this is spectacularly adorable! Milly is going to be furious that she missed this exchange, hahahahah!"
I've known Milly almost as long as Big Brother. So none of her teasing is likely to affect me. Still, best to nip this in the bud.
"Big Brother, I will be unhappy if Alice endures any teasing by Milly."
With a visible effort, he stops laughing, shrugging his shoulders, "I can hardly be faulted for enjoying seeing my sister so happy, can I?"
Am I happy? I suppose I am, despite everything. Compared to the life we were living, even as dangerous as this is, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Today is the day a country's fate is decided. Big Brother wanted me there for the conversation with the Tianzi today. Li Xing-Ke, her closest ally, is there as well. While I have never met him, Big Brother has talked about him on occasion. Supposedly he's an amazing general near Big Brother's own level of ability. Which considering both how skilled Big Brother is, and the size of his ego, is a high compliment. Tee Hee.
A dull sound of impact echoes as we walk down the hall together, the source being the heavy cane my brother is using, a reminder that he's still recovering and not fully healed from his ordeal against our uncle.
"Are you sure you're alright, Zero?" I inquire, trying not to let any worry show in my voice.
His long cape swishes around him as he nods, "This is largely at Rakshata and Bartley's insistence. I won't need it for more than a few days at this rate."
Still, seeing him using a cane, and the sight of him in a wheelchair some time ago, they're not things I enjoy seeing or thinking about.
The heavy doors of the Forbidden City's main hall open before us, the artistry and grandeur drawing a small gasp from my lips. What an incredible place!
"I'll happily walk around with you after, but we have an appointment to keep, Mobius," he remarks, gesturing for me to follow him.
Before long, we come to a heavy set of double doors with two black knight troopers with guns guarding it. Both of whom salute at us as we pass, Zero snapping off a quick motion with his hand in return.
As they creak open, I spot two people on our side of the ornate lacquered square table, and two on the other side.
On our side, my dear friend Kaguya and my beloved Alice. On the other, a tall man with long hair and a lean cunning look to his features who can only be General Li Xing-Ke, and seated next to him, a girl who looks almost like a porcelain doll in how waif-like she is.
"This is an informal meeting before the larger official one. I merely wanted to apologize personally to her Majesty the Tianzi for all the unforeseen issues that occurred during her rescue and to ask how she is doing," Zero proclaims, laying his cane on the table and setting his hands by his side under his cape as he sits down.
Turning back to the table, he leans forward, elbows on the table, "Let me ask you bluntly though. Do you actually want to be the Tianzi, your majesty?"
What?
The albino girl blinks at the question as Xing-Ke's brow furrows, his arms tensing on the table.
"Zero, I thought this was an informal meeting, one without politics just yet. I refuse to let you strongarm my liege."
Given that Kaguya is openly frowning at him, there was clearly a discussion I wasn't privy to between them. I need to step in here.
"Excuse me, your majesty. May I speak informally?" I pipe up, putting an arm on Big Brother's shoulder to have him step back, which he does by leaning back and lighting up a joint.
"What are you up, little sister?" he mutters to himself, his gaze undoubtedly looking my way. Time to change the tone of this conversation.
With a click, the restrictive mask on my face comes off to Kaguya's momentary surprise and then clear interest. Lihua on the other hand is blinking in surprise at seeing this.
"Hi. I'm Nunnally vi Britannia. Wanna be friends?"
To his credit, General Xing-Ke's eyes dart from my face to Zero's masked one before he leans on the table, steepling his fingers.
"So, that would mean you are Lelouch vi Britannia, the lost black prince of Britania, Zero. Interesting."
A cloud of smoke followed by an exasperated sigh is heard before his mask too is placed on the table as he raises an eyebrow at me, "I had a plan for this meeting. One that you've completely derailed, including intending to reveal my identity, yes, but that's clearly a nonstarter now. So…why?"
Smiling sweetly and innocently at the flat look he's giving me, I gesture to our guests, "Because you were scaring her, Big Brother. Did it ever occur to you that you're very intimidating as Zero? Or that you might be bullying her, even unintentionally, by showing up in your full regalia?"
Hehehehe, you don't have an answer for that, do you Big Brother? And I don't think anyone else here was expecting me to say that or upbraid him here, given that even General Xing-Ke is straining not to smile at the nonplussed look on Big Brother's face. To say nothing of Kaguya struggling not to burst out laughing or her friend giggling into her sleeve.
"You did say you'd save Lihua-chan and give her the choice to decide her own destiny, Lulu. Time to make good on your word, fu fu fu fu," Kaguya says while snickering behind her fan.
Running a hand through his hair, he takes a breath before looking right across the table, joint held in his fingers as he lets a resigned smile fit his lips, "I am a man of my word. Lelouch vi Britannia, also known as Zero. A pleasure to meet you face to face, Your Majesty."
Smiling softly as she bows her head, the monarch of China says something in chinese that makes Kaguya hold her fan up to her mouth, clearly smiling, and Li Xing-Ke to frown in concentration at hearing it.
"遇见了，曹操。我感谢你那天晚上保护我。"
Given Kaguya's reaction, I'm sure she knows what that means.
"Fu fu fu fu. Lihua said 'Yùjiànle, cáocāo. Wǒ gǎnxiè nǐ nèitiān wǎnshàng bǎohù wǒ.'. It translates to 'Well met, Cao Cao. I thank you for protecting me that night.' A most fascinating start to this conversation," she observes, her eyes clearly displaying her intrigue at the cryptic comment.
Or perhaps, not so cryptic. Big Brother seems to understand it and is clearly amused.
"Regrettably I don't speak Mandarin, so I cannot respond in her native tongue. But rest assured, I have no intention of you sharing Emperor Xian's fate, nor do I consider you as unworthy of ruling as Liu Bei. For starters, Kaguya would likely break her fan on my mask if I voiced that opinion," he states jokingly using yet another reference I don't understand, albeit one that puts Xing-Ke at ease and causes him to look appraisingly at Big Brother and his young charge to sit back in her chair.
Tugging on his sleeve under the table, I whisper to him, "What did that mean?"
He lowers his head in my direction, whispering softly, "Cao Cao was an ancient warlord of China, one who was brilliant in his ability, but lacked connections to claim higher office through bloodline or family. So he sought to attain control with his own ability. One of the things he did was help install Emperor Xian as a puppet under the control of a supposed ally of his. For this and other things, he was excoriated and another man with lesser ability, but far grander lineage, was enthroned as ruler eventually. That man was Liu Bei, the ordained hero of a story passed down from a famous novel, the Romance of Three Kingdoms."
Interesting. Perhaps I did miss out by not going to that tea party the other day.
"Prince Lelouch-" "Stop. I don't go by that title anymore. I answer only to Zero or Demon King as titles. But right now, it's just Lelouch."
Xing-ke raises an eyebrow at that declaration but acknowledges it, "Very well Lelouch. What exactly, do you want? I appreciate your saving my liege from the High Eunuchs. But I have no intention of letting her be a puppet to your whims either."
Tapping his joint into an ashtray, Big Brother raises an eyebrow, "Awfully late of you to ask that question, considering all the aid I've lent you up to this point."
A poke to his side and a frown lets him know exactly how much I didn't like that answer.
"Alright alright, that was a rather rude response, I apologize. What I want is simple."
Though the words are said succinctly without emphasis or the gravity that normally accompanies his speaking, they still carry a weight that puts the room to awed silence.
"A better world. One where what happened to my sister and I, what happened to your empress, to my friends, my family, to China, to Japan, to all the people and places torn apart by needless horror and pointless suffering, is a memory long past. That's what I want, Li Xing-Ke. And the only way I see that happening, is if I put the world to right myself."
The words hang in the air like a miasma, none able to respond to them. Least of all me, because I can't stop the brilliant smile on my face at hearing my brother articulate his ideal in such a clear and straightforward way.
Jiang Lihua's voice pierces the silence like a needle passing through the skin of a balloon, so poignant and unmistakable is her tone.
"I..I want to help you. The Chinese Federation doesn't want a weak and foolish girl who couldn't even control her own government. They want a great leader, someone who knows what needs to be done. Please, help me make this right…"
With a swish of his cape and a scratching sound from pushing his chair aside, Big Brother walks slowly over to kneel at the feet of the Tianzi, ruler of the Chinese Federation, looking up at her tearful, but resolute gaze.
Though the mask is still sitting on the table, it is the gravitas of Zero that speaks from my brother's lips.
"Even the soul of a demon king can be moved by a pure heart. It takes a truly great woman to understand how heavy the weight of a crown is, and to forsake for another. Zero, Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, shall grant your wish. I claim the mandate of heaven with your blessing, Tianzi Jiang Lihua. And together, we will set your country right."
Kaguya is sniffling and trying to hide it behind her fan, but she's smiling at the sight, a smile that widens as I hug her with one arm. It looks like whatever she wanted Big Brother to do at this meeting, was accomplished.
A suppressed sound draws everyone's attention to Li Xing-Ke covering his mouth as a raspy cough comes out despite his effort to hide it, or the blood dripping from his mouth…
"Xing-ke!" Jiang Lihua screams as she rushes to his side, her eyes wide with fear and worry at the sight of her protector so stricken.
"This..unworthy general..asks you not to worry for his sake. Li Xing-Ke shall serve you till his wretched body fails-" "Oh no you don't. You're not dying on my watch, Dragon General."
Before another word is said, Zero's eyes glow red as a certain smirk that those in my family would find intimately familiar finds its way to his face, "Tell me General. Have you ever heard of a project called Code-R? Because thanks to certain advances from our own research derived from it, we may, emphasis on may, be able to help you with your condition."
Xing-Ke grimaces and looks to Tianzi, who in turn gives a surprisingly stern and mature look at my brother, one I didn't think she was capable of.
"Save Xing-Ke. He is my protector, my general, and the man I love. Do that, and I will help you in any way I can."
There's a wistful look in my brother's eyes now, I wonder what he's thinking of. Reminiscing perhaps?
"I have the feeling you'd do well speaking with my sister Euphemia. You both are far stronger people than anyone realizes. You have my word that I'll do whatever I can to safeguard him, Your Majesty."
Who can say what the future holds? I know our return to Japan is nigh, including facing Suzaku once more. But at this moment, I'm with the people I love and cherish. So I can only believe that we will succeed in saving both the country, and my lost friend.
After all, he'd do the same for me if I was in peril, right?