My Style – JK

"But what if I accidentally make eye contact," I said, smoothing down my clothes for the eighth time.

"Then you look away," Grace said, rolling her eyes at me. She didn't understand why I was freaking out but then again, she'd never really understood the industry I worked in.

"Oh no, no, no. If you make eye contact you'll be caught in the traction of their gaze and there would be no looking away."

"They're just people," she said, proving my point, she really didn't understand. They weren't just people. They were Big Hit artists and I was starting my first day as one of their stylists. At this point in time I didn't know which artists I was going to be working with and I assumed it depended on their schedules but I was so nervous I was practically shaking.

"This is a big deal Grace."

"Oh I know that. Your career has just taken a huge leap forward but you're good at your job and you know that."

Part of me agreed. I loved what I did and it had always come naturally so it had been fun to go to work. It was the unknown that was scaring me. And the fact I was a huge Kpop fan.

"Do you think they'll find out your secret?"

"That I'm a closet Kpop fan and have all the albums of just about everyone under their label? I hope not!"

"No, I meant the fact you're not actually married."

I swallowed, wondering how to address that if it ever came up. When I'd applied for the job, I had been married for 2 years but it was purely a business transaction. We had used each other to tick the box with our parents, getting married but, and they didn't know this, never even sleeping in the same bed. While we hadn't divorced, he didn't even live in the same house as me and eventually, we'd get a divorce. But on paper I was married and that was a requirement for a stylist at Big Hit. They needed married noona so it was safe to be around their single male artists. It felt a little deceptive but actually, truthfully, I didn't care. In my mind I was single but for the purposes of this job, I had a husband.

"If anyone asks, I'm married."

"What if they want to meet him?" She asked, laying back on my bed as I applied my make up, almost ready to leave. She'd been up for hours already, going to the gym at 5am most mornings. I loved her to bits but I was never an early bird and there was no way I was as chirpy as she was at 7am.

"I'll address that when it happens. You know we have an agreement that if there is a function for work or families that we go together and pretend. It helps that we're friends of course and that I don't mind actually hanging out with him from time to time. Thankfully neither of us are big on PDA so it's not like anyone would expect us to be all over each other in public."

"Well, I think you look ready and you'll be fantastic. Just don't fall in love with anyone today," she said, smirking at me.

"I'm already in lust with about 15 of their artists so that might not be too far from the truth."

"Just don't get fired on your first day babe," she quipped and I laughed as I picked up the bag I'd packed the night before and went to leave.

"I'll try really hard not to," and I set out to catch the train.

The first, second and third days are a blur of first times. First meetings with colleagues, first time getting lost trying to find the staff cafe, first time meeting an idol and not losing the plot. At least not externally. So far I'd been working alongside a senior makeup noona, she was teaching me the lay of the land so to speak, critically assessing my work as I went and giving a slight nod of acknowledgement when she was happy with it. That was about all I could expect from her in my first week and it had left me at least relieved that I hadn't had a lot of reprimands.

Today was another photoshoot, having done one earlier in the week with one of the junior bands, cutting my teeth on names I was still getting to know as they approached their debut. They were clearly nervous too, bowing a lot and avoiding my eyes when I came close enough to touch up their faces. But it was for a very good reason that didn't feel as scary as the faces I'd be close to today. This photoshoot was for BTS and I'd woken with weak knees, knowing they'd only get weaker when I saw them properly for the first time.

"You'll be working alongside me again," Park Hyo-Joo said as I walked with her down the corridor. "Of course, they are very particular about what they want after years in the industry and some members, like Seokjin-ssi and Namjoon-ssi, only have very minimal makeup whereas the maknae line have more to say about their makeup requirements. The concept today is minimal anyway so we're really just smoothing out any flaws and highlighting their natural features. They'll be in suits and that is the focus."

There were too many words in her sentence that made me short circuit and I struggled to keep my face as expressionless as possible, noticing her glancing to gauge my reaction. We all knew this was a big deal, they were the top Kpop group in Korea. But the fact she had just said Jin and Namjoon's names like she knew them well, talked about their flaws which I felt would be nonexistent and the fact she'd mentioned the photoshoot would be focusing on them in suits... I was internally a mess, hoping externally I looked like every other stylist walking the hall towards the room set up for the photos.

"Don't be nervous. They're just normal really. In fact, they can be a little distracted so often we're chasing them round the room to even get their makeup finished."

"I understand," I said with a small smile and I did. I'd seen the behind the scenes footage. Their poor stylists, blurred out so they couldn't be identified, trying to keep up with them as they laughed with each other or broke into spontaneous dance, patiently waiting until they could continue. I would definitely have to be taking my cue from all the others as to what was an appropriate amount of telling them what to do. The group yesterday had been easy. They were novices, keen to do the right thing and apart from a few times when I'd had to politely ask them to stay still so I could do their eyes, it had been like putting makeup on anyone. But this was different. I'd already had all the conversations with head staff about not crossing any lines and I had no intention of doing that. Anywhere other than in my head that is.

The room was large, makeup stations set up along the edge and staff bustling around setting up cameras and props. I knew the members were due to arrive soon and I followed Hyo-Joo's lead, putting my kit down on a work station and opening it in preparation for when it would be all go.

And then the door opened, Hobi and Jimin walked in nursing coffees and I allowed myself some deep breaths before I followed the lead of the other staff, tucking away my emotions and getting to work.

Jungkook

I liked the suits for this photoshoot, a playful version of the standard black with white shirts and ties, some with waistcoats, mine with a belt that was done up but hung down, visible under the open blazer, purple to match my tie. Playing with the way it sat as I walked into the room, I looked up when I heard the staff call out greetings around me.

"Annyeong," I called back, smiling as I made eye contact with a few, noticing a new face amongst the rest. That wasn't uncommon, they were always training new staff but she must be good to work with us. Hybe was very particular about who they surrounded us with.

"Jungkookie, we need to fix that suit," and I headed in the direction of the noona who was calling my name.

Wandering over to where she was, Hyo-Joo fiddled for a while and I let me eyes slide away, watching my hyung and the staff around us before coming back to the new face. I kept getting side glimpses, building a picture of her in my mind while I waited for them to get me photo ready. She had glossy lips, rose pink but subtle in tone. The eyelashes I could see from this angle were long but natural, I could tell that apart now from fake ones and hers were lush in a really sexy way. Her cheek bones were defined by a hint of colour and I realised it wasn't blush but a natural glow that sat deliciously, highlighting the colour of her skin. But as of yet, I was piecing the puzzle of her features together without the full effect, waiting for her to turn in my direction.

"Jungkook, you're up next," his manager called and I looked away from where I'd been staring, focusing back on my job.

I came out of the lights, Hobi taking my place as I walked towards the staff. The warmth had made a slight sheen on my forehead and staff came up to dab it away and moved with me as I walked towards the snack bar. I knew after Hobi, he and I would be doing unit photos so didn't change out of my clothes just yet. Grabbing a drink of water, I tipped it back and let my eyes glide over the room, settling again on the new staff I had noticed earlier. Her hair had come slightly out from where it was tied up away from her face, cascading a little around her face and neck. I was staring and I knew it but I was waiting for her to make eye contact or at least turn in my direction and so far she hadn't.

So I made it happen, pretending to drop a full bottle of water, stepping quickly away from where the mess would've landed and drawing the eyes of all the stylists in the room.

"Did you make a mess of your clothes Jungkookie-ssi," Hyo-Joo asked as she raced towards me to see what damage control she needed to do.

"No, no, it was just water and it managed to miss me anyway," I answered as she checked me over but it wasn't her I was looking at. The new staff member had looked my way too and this time, I did get to see her front on, my smile growing wide as her eyes did too. Tipping my head slightly, I gave her a nod of acknowledgement, not even sure what I was saying with my head movement but wanting to initiate some kind of response from her. What I got, was more than I expected. Her big eyes had relaxed a little and I noticed how soft they were as they looked my way, stunning in colour and open to look at, like she would be a direct person if I broke her down the right way. I wanted to know more as she blinked across at me.

"It doesn't look like we need to fix your clothes too much but we do need to fix up your makeup a little," and Hyo-Joo did me the huge favour of beckoning the new staff member over to help. As she walked I followed her movements, knowing if anyone was looking at me they'd catch me staring but I didn't care. I was past that now, not really too bothered what people thought of me. I might still be the maknae but I was a man and couldn't help it when a pretty woman caught my eye.

"Can you help here please? There's just a little to do to fix up Jungkook-ssi while I go get Jiminie ready, will you be OK?"

"Of course Hyo-Joo-ssi," and her voice was lower than I expected, a twist of tone that sent a zing down my spine. A lot shorter than me, she looked up briefly, avoiding my eyes before she bowed, reaching for the makeup she had with her.

I looked straight ahead, watching as she leaned forward to touch up a place on my face and the necklace that hung at her neck, floated away from her skin before sinking back against it when she leaned back again, assessing her work. The silver sat against her creamy skin, complimenting and drawing your eyes to her throat. Or at least that's what it seemed like to me. I could also sense she was nervous, hands careful to keep away from touching my face as she worked but shaking a little as she leaned in again for a few more touch ups. I wanted the contact, leaning a little into her hand so it grazed against my cheek, causing her to startle.

"Sorry," I said with a sheepish smile.

"That's OK, ah Jungkook-ssi," she answered and I hid my smile at the way she hesitated over my name, obviously not sure how to address me. She was also still avoiding eye contact but when I did see her look up, her eyes were stunning and clear as they glanced at me before looking away again. This could be fun.

Looking down at my clothing, I made a quick decision, twisting a little on the spot.

"Is everything OK Jungkook-ssi," she asked and again I was drawn in by her voice. It was husky, like she'd just woken up and that did all kinds of things to my brain.

"One of the legs on my pants seems to be sitting crooked," I said, glancing down and she bent her head to have a look, unable to see what I meant which wasn't surprising as I'd made it up. "Ah, here," I said, helpfully showing her the inner seam on my leg, grinning to myself as I did which she didn't notice as she lowered herself to a crouch, head now at crotch level. Looking down at her was a perfect picture for another time and place.

Giving the fabric a twist and then smoothing it down with her small hands, she stroked it a few times, engrossed in what she was doing then I smirked at the moment she realised what she looked like she was doing, how she was crouching and where exactly her hand was resting. She pulled it away quickly, like she'd had a shock, standing up abruptly in front of me.

"Ummm, I think it's fixed now Jungkook-ssi," she said avoiding my eyes again but a delicious hint of colour glazing her cheeks.

I noticed that she flexed her hand a little, playing with her ring like it sat uncomfortably on her hand, maybe nervous at the position she'd just found herself in. She slid it on and off a few time, adjusting it back into place and I saw something that caught my eye, attention to detail one of the things I was known for. There was no groove like it had been on there for a long time. I'd seen my parents and friends hands when they had been married for a while. There was normally a dent from wearing the ring everyday, absent on her finger. "Are you recently married? You play with your ring like it's new."

"Noooo, not recently, not even really..., it's complicated," she stuttered out, clearly flustered by my question.

I cocked my head to the side, taking in the flush in her cheeks and the look in her eye. I could tell when someone was avoiding the question and she was definitely doing that now. Intriguing.

I was about to delve further, ruffle her a little more when a manager came over to let us know there would be some interview questions filmed too and I nodded. It was normal to have a photoshoot, interview and other BTS content all rolled into one to maximise the down time when we were waiting between solo photoshoots.

"What sort of questions did they want us to answer this time," I asked and he shrugged his shoulders as he walked away.

"It's been a decade and I'm not really sure there are any new questions they could ask us so it's probably time we went back to the beginning and started with place we most want to visit in the world and favourite colour," Jimin joked.

"Hazel," I answered softly and she glanced up sharply, seeing me watching her, blinking her eyes furiously. Then she swallowed before reaching down to twist at her ring again. I was already caught up in the chase, relentless in my need to win and this time it was to win some truths from this noona who was hiding something from me. Hiding everything apart from the transparency of attraction in her eyes.

I'd seen that look many times in my job, easy to read from a distance and avoid under the guise of not being allowed to engage with most people without security around. I wasn't going to be avoiding her though, this noona was someone I wanted to slide in alongside, get to know, learn the truth of why her marriage was 'complicated'. And the plan would start today, licking my lip to moisten it even as she swallowed again, eyes dilating. Game on.

Y/N

He stared at me as I played with the ring on my finger, a knowing look in his eyes and an intensity that translated into everything that had ever played out in my daydreams. This job was exactly what I'd always wanted but being on the ground in front of Jungkook just now, my brain had ceased to function and his eyes had lit me up on the inside in a really, really good way. No matter what actually ended up happening in the next few weeks, and something told me it would, I was definitely going to be fired.