I know I don't ask for compensation for writing most of the time, but if anyone here plays My Singing Monsters, my friend code is 1012394371GB. Please send keys, Dipsters are on sale and I ran out.

"You have fighting experience, don't you?" Felix demanded of the old man.

"Well, yes, I do have some fighting experience," the old man admitted. "I can wield swords and axes fairly well."

"Teach us," Felix demanded. "Clearly we need more training. We can't fight the monsters in this place as we are."

The old man thought for a moment. "Very well. I'll do what I can for you, and anyone with a talent for swords or axes."

"Good," Felix nodded. "We're all very eager to learn, right?"

Claude considered joining in; he wasn't completely hopeless with a sword. But he had other priorities. Namely, figuring out what Flayn's secret was. "Hey, Flayn. I was considering setting up an expedition to get some resources, and I think we should bring a healer. Do you want to come along?'

"Of course!" Flayn agreed. "I will gladly help you. Who else is coming?"

"I already told Bernadetta she has to join in," Claude said, indicating the aforementioned girl, who looked as if she thought she was being taken to her demise. "After all, she's the only one of us who got any sleep last night. Aside from that, I'm bringing Raphael, Ingrid, Dorothea, and Petra."

"Count me in as well," Dimitri volunteered. "I will gladly help you."

"Sure," Claude said hesitantly. Hopefully Dimitri wouldn't get in the way of his actual goal. "Your shadow not coming?"

"I insisted he stay here and train," Dimitri said. "I managed to convince him that training now would help him protect me more effectively in the future."

"And he agreed to do so knowing that you were going to go gathering?" Claude asked.

"Dedue is not my mother," Dimitri said. "It's not his business what I do when he isn't there, much as he might think otherwise."

"Okay then," Claude conceded. "Let's go."

"So...it's pretty interesting that you have power that's effective against Calamity Ganon, don't you think?" Claude asked Flayn.

Flayn stumbled on her words, clearly trying to come up with something convincing. "Well, I...it's that..."

Dimitri came to the conclusion that he thought Claude had come to. "You aren't just a bearer of Saint Cethleann's Crest, are you? You're a direct descendant of Cethleann."

Claude gave Dimitri a look.

"I...yes. I...my brother Seteth and I, we're directly descended from Saint Cethleann, and by extension Saint Cichol, Cichol being Cethleann's father. As a result of some nasty business with a crime lord, though, our identities are secret, so you can't tell anyone."

Claude wasn't satisfied with the answer Flayn gave, but everyone else seemed to accept it, so he decided to wait to ask more questions.

"Um, guys?" Ingrid said. "You might want to see this."

What she pointed out looked like a crab, sort of. It was an enormous brown crustacean with a single red eye in the center of its body, with two metal-shod pincers on either side of the eye. Bernadetta almost let out a cry, but Petra quickly covered her mouth.

"I think we should stay away from this thing." Ingrid said unnecessarily.

"I think you are right," Dimitri agreed. The seven of them backed off slowly, until...

"Ya-ha-ha! You found me!"

"WHAT IN THE-?" Claude and Dimitri yelped as a tiny wooden... tree... thing... with a leaf for a face cheerfully exploded out of the foliage and practically jumped right into their faces.

"Ha-ha-huhhh... wait a sec. You're not Hetsu?" The tree thing said in confusion…just as the commotion drew the attention of the cycloptic crab.

"Oh. Uh. Whoopsie?" The tree thing said nervously before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Suddenly, the creature's eye turned blue. Claude was sure this was a bad sign, and he was quickly proven right as a beam of light fired from the eye. The beam nearly hit Dorothea, but Ingrid pulled her out of the way, and instead the beam hit a tree, cutting it down.

"You saved me," Dorothea realized.

"Hey, right now we should focus on the monster," Ingrid pointed out.

"Oh, right," Dorothea said, and cast Thunder at the monster. It didn't seem to be very effective.

Bernadetta shot an arrow at the crab's eye, but it protected the eye with its metal forelegs. Dorothea then had an idea, and cast her next Thunder blast at the metal forelegs.

The crab seemed to actually be hurt, and it waved its forelegs in the air. Claude took the opportunity to shoot it in the eye.

The crab went berserk after that, and it tried to charge at them. However, Flayn held up her hand, and cast a spell that produced a blinding light. With that, Dimitri charged forward, impaling the creature's eye with his Boko spear.

As the spear reached its brain, the enormous crab fell over, dead.

"What is this thing?" Bernadetta asked.

"I don't know," Ingrid said. "The old man didn't mention a monster that looked like this."

"Think we can eat it?" Raphael asked.

"It is crab-like," Flayn said. "It might be worth a try."

Dimitri looked at the huge creature's legs. If they could cut one off and take it back it would be enough to feed everyone. Assuming of course that the creature was edible. "Petra, give me your knife." When she did so, he stabbed the shell around the leg, breaking both the knife and the shell. He then ripped the leg out of its socket.

"Wow. You're strong," Raphael noted.

Dimitri gave the handle of the hunting knife back to Petra. "You made it broken!" she protested.

"I'm sorry," Dimitri told her. "But this should be enough for everyone to eat."

"Can we even eat it?" Bernadetta asked. "What if it's poisonous?"

"It's a crab. Have you ever heard of a poisonous crab?" Ingrid asked.

"Hiya!" came a voice like that of a child, and the adventurers turned to see the tiny tree thing had returned. "I'm sorry about drawing that Gohma's attention. But it looks like you took care of it!"

"What the heck? Am I the only one seeing a tiny tree person with a leaf for a face?" Claude asked.

"No, I think we can all see it," Dorothea confirmed.

"Good, that means I'm not hallucinating," Claude said.

"You can see me! That's great!" the tree thing said.

"I'm going mad," Dimitri said to himself. "I knew it would happen sooner or later."

"How are you able to see me, anyhow? That's really strange. Only really, really special people are supposed to be able to see Koroks like me," The tree thing, a Korok, pointed a stick at Claude for emphasis, "The Great Deku tree said people who can see Koroks are special, like Mister Hero. But you all don't look like Mister Hero. So how come you're able to see me, huh?"

"I... I don't know?" Claude answered truthfully.

"Huh. Wow Mister, you're weird. But I knew that already. But hey, at least you're honest too! I'm good at figuring out when people are telling fibs, and that wasn't one!" The Korok seemed to nod and come to some sort of a decision, "So I've decided that I like you! Plus you found me and all, so it's only fair you get you a reward. So here!"

Claude stared at the golden seed thing the Korok had produced and was now offering him. A golden seed. That a tree midget with the voice of a child was offering to him. Could this day get any weirder?

"You should go and give this to Hestu! He's the Biiiiiiiig Korok with the Maracas. Likes to dance. If you give this to Hestu, he'll do nice things for you!" The Korok informed Claude cheerfully, before producing a small pouch made out of woven grass from what appeared to be from thin air and holding it out alongside the golden seed, "Heck, I'll even throw in this Korok bag too as an apology, since I got you guys into SO much trouble. You can put LOTS of stuff in it. Pretty cool, eh?"

"What happened to my life?" Claude wondered, cautiously accepting the gifts but questioning his sanity. Honestly... tree people. What was next, rock people or fish people?

"Hey, that monster. The 'Gohma.' Can we eat it?" Raphael asked.

It was official. Hyrule was insane.