Hey you guys...

First off, thank you so much for the reviews/fav's/follows, really much appreciated.
I hope you're all doing well out there.

Second, I'm sorry it took me this long to update the story, but something with a three-week holiday and covid.
And then there was this huge writer's block I had to overcome, but as always, victory is mine and so here were are.
The next chapter.
It's a long one, though.
My way to make up for my delay, or actually, I just suck at writing short chapters. :')

I feel kind of obligated to warn you that it's a sad one, perhaps even heavy.
Despite that, I hope you like it.
Enjoy! ^^

Chapter 14

-Once upon a time I was falling in love
Now I'm only falling apart-

The moment the tip of his antennas made contact with her skin, something clicked inside Charley's head.
Soon thereafter, it felt as if someone poured a cup of ice-cold water over her head and in some sort of reflex, she opened her eyes.
But the strangest thing was that everything remained black around her.
The fairy lights, the tree house, Vinnie…
All gone.
As if she was trapped in a sealed room without windows, but she knew she wasn't.
She could still feel him.
Smell him.
She knew he was there, and yet, he seemed so far away from her.
This was by far the weirdest thing she had ever experienced, and that while there was already so much strangeness in her life ever since she met him.
Ever since he saved her from her solitude.

As it still felt as if there was water dripping down her face, a certain pressure joined the odd feeling.
Kind of like the beginning of a major migraine attack, and her breathing accelerated as the nervousness came back at the speed of light, the very one that had been gone due to Vinnie's magical way of comforting her.
He had told her that he would never do anything to hurt her.
But her head felt really strange as the pressure kept increasing, and she couldn't stop herself from having the feeling that even though he wasn't really hurting her right now, that was soon about to change.
As if her head was about to explode or something, and a short breath escaped her lips as the nervousness now gradually transformed into panic.
What if he saw something she didn't want him to see?
What if he used this moment to take another look inside her head?
What if…

"Not to worry, sweetheart. It's a one way connection."

As if on cue, Vinnie's voice echoed through her head, although it sounded different than usual.
As if he was standing in a large bathroom or something like that.
But despite that, she still recognized it with every fiber in her body and she closed her eyes again as she took a deep breath through her nose to calm down her nerves, which was, unfortunately, in vain.
That was mostly because she was now facing another challenge, namely - responding to him.
How did one do that during a Mind Walk?
She had no idea, which wasn't really strange, for this was entirely new territory for her.

Perhaps that was the whole reason why the panic kept growing and growing.
She wasn't in control.
She had to have control.
As her breathing became heavier and heavier, she tried to open her mouth, but much to her utter shock, that didn't work.
She wasn't sure whether it was because of the panic that she clenched her teeth with all the strength she had in her or that her jaws were literally glued to each other, but whatever it was, it only fed her panic even more and heart now almost exploded out of her chest as she kept trying to squeeze the words out.

"Breathe, sweetheart. Just breathe. You don't have to talk to tell me what you're feeling. Just think of the words and I'll be able to hear them."

Charley squeezed her eyes shut tight as she did everything within her power to fight back the mortal fear that was holding her in its vicious grasp, but it was hard, if not impossible.
The pressure on her head just kept increasing, and she wasn't sure how long her skull was going to keep up with this before it might crack, although she had no idea if that was even possible.

"Vinnie, I'm scared…"

"I know. You want me to stop?"

"No, I… You said it wouldn't hurt me…"

"It only hurts because you're fighting me. Just let go, Charley-girl. Just let it all happen. I promised not to hurt you, and I won't, but you'll have to stop fighting me. Just let go…"

Charley-girl…

The somewhat soothing tone of his voice, along with him using the for her already so important nickname eased the pain in her head, making Charley able to breathe again and she took a few deep breaths to fill her sore lungs with precious oxygen.
And while she was doing that, she tried to surrender herself to him, for it was all she ever wanted.
To connect with him on a deeper level.
Thinking of how he apparently trusted her enough to show her his super secret safe haven, along with the fact that he wanted to share a part of himself with her that he, if she had to guess, had never shared with anyone else, helped her to calm down.
He made her feel special.
No one had ever made her feel special.
The love she felt for him warmed her up from the inside, and with that, her body relaxed.
As if by magic, her mind lowered its walls, and suddenly, there was another click.
Soon thereafter and much to her relief, the pressure was gone in one fell swoop.
Just like that.

The darkness seemed to get even thicker, which was odd, for it was already pitch black around her.
To make it even more peculiar, every emotion, every thought, every feeling soon vanished like smoke in the wind and for a brief moment, there was just… nothing.
Nothing but peace and quietness.
As if the world was just gone, its cruelty swallowed by the soothing darkness.
Perhaps this was how it felt to float away into space.
Just to exist, and nothing more.
A smile curled her lips as her heartbeat slowed down, and soon, it was back to its usual rhythm.
This was… indescribable.
There were literally no words to explain how it felt to be at peace like she was now.
After years of struggling, after years of living in loneliness and anguish, she was finally at peace…

But then, out of nowhere, there was a flash of light.
A light so bright, she felt the urge to close her eyes, or even raise her hand to protect her eyes from its intensity, but instead, she did nothing, for her eyes were already closed and her hands…
Well, she couldn't really feel her hands.
In fact, she couldn't even feel her body anymore.
It was as if she was having an out-of-body experience, but instead of watching herself from above, she was watching something else.
Something she hadn't seen before.
Blood-red sand as far the eye could see.
The millions of sand grains glittering like diamonds in the bright light of the reddish-yellow sun.
A high wind, making those same sand grains fly into the air, blurring the pinkish sky, thereby taking away its beauty.
High mountains made out of red stones, standing proud and surrounding the outstretched desert.
Dark clouds hanging on the top of the mountains, ominous and bleak.

A wasteland. Lots of sand. Bad weather. No hotdogs. No water, either. It's barbaric, but hey, it's home.

Vinnie's words, the very ones he had spoken during their second meeting in that alley, echoed through her head, although somewhere far away as a distant memory and she soon realized what she was looking at.
Mars.
The famous red planet.
Almost eagerly, she tried to take in as many details as possible, for this was something she definitely didn't want to forget and she couldn't help but think of what her late father would say when she told him that she was the only human female on Earth who had seen Mars with her own eyes.
If only he was still here to tell him.
Minds would be blown, once again.
But then, the image shook heavily, and the silence, that sweet and peaceful silence, got replaced by loud roaring engines and howling wind.
It was then that it hit her.
She wasn't looking at this with her own eyes.
No, she was looking at it through Vinnie's eyes.
Her gaze lowered, or actually Vinnie's did, and she now saw the dashboard of his exquisite cherry-red bike, although it looked less advanced than it was now.
More old-fashioned, even.
More simplified.

What hadn't changed was the digital speedometer, which told her that she, or well, Vinnie, was currently driving through the rugged desert at a respectable hundred-twenty-five miles per hour.
The moment she discovered that, she suddenly felt the wind pulling her clothes as if she herself was sitting on that bike, while in reality, it was Vinnie.
This was beyond weird.
As if she was transferred from her body to his.
Perhaps that theory wasn't so far-fetched, actually…
Movement below on her left caught her attention, and she saw a white-furred hand reaching out to one of the mouse-shaped side mirrors of the bike as if it was her own hand.
After adjusting the mirror a little, her eyes locked with red ones, familiar yet different.
It probably shouldn't be a surprise that not even the dazzling and neck-breaking speed that he was driving with was able to stop her knight in shining fur from checking himself out in the mirror, and funnily enough, she was grateful that it didn't.
Because now she was able to see him.

Big ears.
White fur.
A silver…

No, wait.
The mask.
It wasn't there.
Even better, the scars weren't either.
He looked younger, too.
And was wearing different clothing, the black hoodie replaced by a soft-yellow shirt, a sleeveless brown jacket, and greenish bandoliers strapped around his still very impressive muscular chest.
Instead of black biker jeans, he now wore baggy army pants with a black bandana wrapped around his right upper leg.
His shoes were still the same though, she saw when he looked down for a moment before his red eyes darted back up, and before she knew it, she was looking at Modo, who was driving next to Vinnie on his purple and chrome bike.

He too looked different.
Way different.
Perhaps that was because he was having two normal arms instead of one made out of metal.
Though he was still anything but small, he did look a fraction shorter through Vinnie's eyes, if only a little.
His clothes were different as well.
Instead of the purple sweater and black jeans, he wore the same outfit as Vinnie, although he had only one bandolier around his chest.
Despite that he was wearing his helmet, she could see the tips of a blue bandana flapping in the wind, telling her that he had the fabric bound around his head, but the thing that stood out the most, besides the arm, was that there was no eyepatch.
All things considered, he still looked very intimidating, you know, with being so huge and buff and all, but seeing both his eyes definitely improved his already present friendly features, and that while he looked kind of angry, actually, she now noticed.

But there was no time to take in more details, for Vinnie's gaze now landed back on himself in the mirror and Charley would have shivered if that was possible during a Mind Walk -which it apparently wasn't- when she saw his ruby-red eyes burning with hate and anger.
"I still can't believe that Mace is a rat. How did we miss that? How did I miss that? This is so uncool."
Charley frowned, or maybe she didn't simply because she couldn't, but that didn't matter.
What mattered was that, again, his voice sounded so different.
But that was probably because she was inside his head and it was common knowledge that your own voice sounds dissimilar from how others hear it.
Bizarre, indeed.

"I feel you, bro, but we can beat ourselves up for that later. Right now, we've gotta outflank an ambush."
Throttle's husky voice joined the mix of the loud engines and howling wind, and Vinnie slightly shook his head before he looked to his right.
Throttle was driving on his other side on his black and chrome bike, and Charley quickly took in his appearance before Vinnie would look the other way again, like where he was going for instance.
Just like his two friends, the tan-furred mouse wore brown army pants, but instead of yellow, his shirt was green, and so was his sleeveless jacket.
The hope to finally see his eyes, his real eyes, soon faded when she saw that the famous glasses were already resting on his nose, which was kind of a disappointment, actually.

There was a leg holster strapped around his right leg, the very one he had whipped the gun out to hold her at gunpoint, back in the scoreboard, and she soon recognized the red bandana around his broad neck and left wrist as well.
Thanks to his open visor, Charley could see that he had a green bandana bound around the wild crest between his big ears, and she couldn't go around it any longer.
Apparently, mice from outer space had a thing for bandanas.
Well, in their defense, it did make them look badass, and thus, she didn't mind, at all.
After watching all three of them, she could only conclude that Vinnie was showing her one of his many memories and that this specific memory was made years ago, when they were still young and relatively intact.
And if she had to guess, they just found out about the notorious traitor Vinnie had told her about.

Perhaps she should feel slightly uneasy about what was to come, but the thing was, she felt nothing.
Nothing but the wind going through Vinnie's clothes and fur.
She didn't feel the anger that was making his eyes burn more fiercely than she had ever seen before.
She didn't feel the warmth of self-love that she knew he must be feeling while admiring himself in the mirror.
No, there was just nothing when it came to emotions and feelings and deep down, she knew she had to be grateful that there weren't, yet at the same time, she wondered how it felt to be him.
To be Vinnie.
To be a brave warrior coming from Mars, who fought for his right to freedom.
Who put his life on the line for his home and those he cared for.

"I just hope we won't be too late…", Modo mumbled worriedly, and Vinnie now glanced at him from the corner of his eye before he -finally!- focussed his attention back on the road, even though there wasn't really a road but only a lot of sand.
"Come on, Modo. We're never too late. We always arrive precisely on time to save the day as the heroes we, but mostly me, are."
Charley figured this was probably his way of comforting his older bro, but while he was talking, he still accelerated -how was that even possible?!-, and so did his two friends as time, the number one enemy of every species, seemed to hunt them down mercilessly.
As the bike gained even more speed, there was a tingle tangible in Vinnie's stomach, one Charley couldn't place.
This was most peculiar.
To only slightly experience physical sensations without the associated feelings.

Soon, the first sounds that obviously belonged to a battlefield reached Vinnie's ears, and so did the smell of burning rubber and something else from which Charley had no idea what it was, but it reminded her of the late-night barbeques she used to have with her family back in the days.
Which couldn't be good in the current setting she was finding herself in, and if it was possible to feel something, this would be the time to be worried.
As if on cue, her, or actually Vinnie's heartbeat skyrocketed at the speed of light, giving her the feeling as if she was about to have a heart attack.
What didn't help either was that his breathing accelerated at the same rate and that his muscles felt really strange.
Kind of like wound cables, stretched close to their breaking point, and just like that, the numbness was gone.
It was as if Vinnie had waited for his emotions to join in to give her some time to get used to seeing his life through his eyes, which was surprisingly kind of him.

It was only moments ago that she had wondered how it would feel to be Vinnie.
Well, she knew now and it was addictive, to say the least.
There was a certain excitement rushing through his veins, hyping up his body and giving him and therefore her the feeling as if she could take on the world, and with the world she meant both Earth and Mars.

You know, there is a certain beauty in losing control. It gives you a certain rush, one that is literally one of a kind.

That's what he had told her, right before the beginning of the Mind Walk.
And fuck, he was right.
There were no words that could portray this feeling, for it was, indeed, one of a kind and that while he was only driving towards the battlefield, a place where control simply didn't exist.
Suddenly, she couldn't wait to find out what would happen if he was actually there, in the middle of the chaos and just like that, she now understood why Vinnie was so addicted to adrenaline.

However, to keep things in balance, along with the positive feelings came the negative ones.
First, there was anger.
Disbelief.
Frustration.
A hint of despair.
Those made sense.
Charley would've felt the same things if she just found out that there was a traitor in their midst, as the honorable person she was.
But there was also a lot of fear.
Like a leaden blanket, it covered his light-hearted soul, gnawing on his insides.
Twisting and turning them, making him feel slightly nauseous, even though he obviously tried his very best to ignore it.
To just swallow it away, as if it was just a meaningless lump in his throat.

Never had she known that Vinnie was this familiar with the meaning of fear, but she knew now.
Because he was scared, and not just a little.
Absolutely petrified.
The reason, however…
The reason why he, as the brave warrior he was, was so afraid was a bit harder to figure out than the fact that he was, for she found it kind of hard to believe that he feared death, although that would be a logical feeling to have when one rushed over to a battlefield, but that was just her humble opinion.
However, Charley instinctively knew that she was about to find out, and so she just waited patiently as she kept watching.
Besides…
There wasn't really any other choice, or was there?

After driving over a hill, Vinnie's red eyes caught sight of two female Martian Mice standing behind an enormous rock for cover, talking heatedly with each other while firing at the enemy at the same time and if Charley was able to feel something of her own, she would've been impressed by their talent for multitasking at this level.
After all, she couldn't even talk and wash her hands at the same time, let alone participate in a firefight while having a conversation.
Their movements were wild yet still in control, both their tails swaying back and forth, making Charley come to the conclusion that they were angry, or maybe even worried, a thing she couldn't really blame them for when Vinnie took a quick look at the battlefield that was now very close, all of a sudden.
Perhaps chaotic was the right word to describe it, but the fact that the mice were obviously outnumbered seemed to cover the load a bit more accurately.
But that didn't stop them from fighting for what was theirs, which was admirable.

Vinnie's eyes darted back to the female standing on the left, and when he saw that she was relatively okay, the comforting feeling of relief washed over him, drowning the paralyzing fear at the same time.
At this point, it wasn't really that hard to guess why he had been so afraid, not anymore, for even from here, Charley recognized the female immediately.
Harley.
A warm feeling made Vinnie's heart flutter in his chest like a butterfly taking its first flight as he approached the two females, flanked by his two precious brothers, and a smile curled his lips while his eyes quickly wandered over the slender-build body of the light-brown furred Martian female.
She was still entirely oblivious to his presence, though, and so was the other female with grey fur and raven-black hair -whom Charley hadn't seen before- as they kept firing their impressive-looking weapons.

But then, a sudden movement behind the rock kicked Vinnie off his pink cloud, and although with reluctance, he raised his eyes to see what was happening.
A buggy with a fat fish-looking creature behind the wheel was approaching the two females with dangerous speed, and Charley soon realized that this had to be one of those notorious Plutarkians.
Now this was an image that came closer to her perception of aliens, instead of a sexy humanoid mouse.
Green slimy skin, fat bouncing with every movement, yellow teeth, empty eyes…
And then there was the smell.
It suddenly hit Vinnie in the face without warning, and Charley would've gagged if she was able to.
Holy shit.
They smelled even worse than her socks on laundry day, and that was saying something.

Vinnie, however, didn't gag.
He only wrinkled his nose as he quickly closed his visor, thereby shutting out the horrific stench, the perfect picture of someone who was used to dealing with it, as sad as that might be.
Or maybe it was just because he didn't have the time to reflect on the smell, for he now realized that the buggy was coming a bit too close as the driver dodged every laser Harley and the other girl fired at him.
But instead of being worried as any sane person would be, another wave of that maddening excitement set Vinnie's body on fire, all triggered by the thought that he could once again be her hero and the smile, the one that was there ever since he had laid eyes on Harley, now almost split his face in half.
Mace already long forgotten, his right finger pushed a small button on his handlebar and a deadly-looking weapon zoomed out of its compartment above the mouse-shaped headlight.
His bro's did the same, and after Throttle gave the order, they all three fired a rocket at the buggy.

The explosion was deafening and took the buggy and its driver out in one fell swoop while Harley and the other female quickly took cover behind another rock, since the previous one was now blown to smithereens.
The guys skidded to a halt close to them, and Modo opened his visor with a big smile on his face.
"As we always say, ladies…-", he started, his heavy voice slightly trembling from suppressed amusement.
"-...if you can't stop the party…-", Throttle continued, also looking highly entertained.
"-...CRASH IT!", the three males finished in unison and Vinnie let out a loud whoop as they high-fived.
Honestly…
If Charley could roll her eyes, she definitely would've done it due to this textbook machismo.
Luckily, the two furry females were perfectly able to, and so they did, although they looked relieved to see them at the same time.

Vinnie glanced at Harley, and Charley could feel his hands turn sweaty the moment she appeared in his line of vision as his heart danced its merry way through his chest.
Harley flashed him a warm smile in return with twinkling blue eyes, making her even more attractive than she already was, and Vinnie's cheeks started to burn as he quickly revved his bike, laser still raining down on them.
Again, there was no time, and thus there was no other choice but to suppress this strong yearning for her, while in reality, all he wanted was to touch her, to smell her, to kiss her…
"Come on, bro's. The party ain't over till the fat lady sings."
The three males popped a wheelie.
"Let's ROCK…"
"...and RIDE!"
Right before his front tire touched the sand again, Vinnie blew Harley a kiss and this time, it was her cheeks that turned redder than red.
Highly amused by this, Vinnie let out another battle cry before he sped away at dangerous speed along with his two best friends.

This time without any shred of fear, for he knew that Harley was relatively safe for now, Vinnie threw himself into the mayhem that was called a warzone.
It was at this moment that Charley felt the urge to close her eyes for the first time since the beginning of the Mind Walk, for it was intense, to say the least.
There were fish and mice everywhere, and she really had no idea how Vinnie was able to distinguish friend or foe in this immense chaos, but it seemed to cost him no trouble whatsoever.
Lasers flew past his head, one even grazed his arm, but he didn't feel the slightest hint of pain, being overwhelmed with adrenaline as he was.
He just fired laser after laser, rocket after rocket, and the enemies he encountered went down to never rise again, which gave him a feeling of power that went beyond words.
So this was how it felt to lose control.
To just live in the moment, to just do whatever your instinct is telling you to do…
This was how it was to be alive.
To be invincible.
Yep.
He was definitely right.
This was an unparalleled delight.

Charley had no idea how much time had passed since he had started his party crashing business, for time didn't seem to exist in a Mind Walk nor the tremendous chaos on a battlefield, but Vinnie just kept fighting and fighting, relentless and determined, with adrenaline as the only fuel to keep his body and mind going.
And so did Throttle and Modo.
They fought side by side, as the brothers in arms they were, learning Charley the valuable lesson that no bond was as strong as the one that was forged by bloodshed and war, and her respect for them grew even bigger, a thing she never thought possible.
There was so much she could learn from them about friendship and companionship, heck, not just her.
The entire world could learn from them.
Perhaps it would make it a better place, if only a little.

When they, again, regrouped and made their way to another group of Plutarkians driving those ridiculous-looking buggies, Vinnie's sensitive ears picked something up.
A high tone in the distance.
It wasn't loud, yet it overruled the hard sounds of the battlefield and although he wasn't sure why, it gave him goosebumps all over his body in the blink of an eye.
As he was still contemplating why the sound sounded somewhat familiar, he raised his red eyes with a furrowed brow, his body on high alert now.
Unfortunately, the sound was the only warning of what was coming their way, and before he could figure out what it was, or even blink for that matter, the missile already struck right next to his front wheel.
The explosion that followed was the biggest one Charley had ever seen, and that included the ones she just witnessed on the battlefield.
What the…

The giant shockwave blew Vinnie off his bike, and the massive flash of light forced him to close his eyes, but even then, it was blinding.
From that moment, regardless of if it was possible, time seemed to stop ticking, slowing down the scene.
Due to the tremendous strength of the explosion, Vinnie did not only fly off his bike, but the supposedly indestructible visor of his helmet shattered like it was nothing, and pieces of glass buried themselves into his face.
In some sort of reflex, Vinnie opened his eyes, only to see a bigger piece of glass coming straight at him, and he held in his breath, as did Charley.
Almost in slow motion, the piece of glass cut straight through fur and flesh at the right side of his face, only missing his eye by a few inches.
Blood splattered out of the wound, like a warm shower it soaked the fur on his face within seconds and Vinnie gasped for air in a desperate need to fill his almost empty lungs.
However, all he inhaled was a blistering and scorching heat as the flames of the explosion licked his now exposed face, melting fur and skin without remorse and the slightest amount of trouble.

And there it was.
Inevitable but still abruptly.
Pain.
Gruesome and excruciating pain.
It was pain like he had never experienced before, and neither had Charley.
A raw scream left his mouth in some feeble attempt to deal with it, for it seemed to be the only thing he could do right now.
But it didn't work.
Not even the slightest.
Blood blurred his already bad vision as the vicious pain only became worse and worse, something that didn't seem to be possible and yet, here he was.
Suffering helplessly.
But then, like always when time slowed down, it now took a leap forward and before Vinnie could fully comprehend what was happening to him, his body hit the ground after being airborne for a brief moment.
The rough landing knocked the wind out of him, but due to the force of the shockwave, he slid through the warm sand a couple of meters before he slammed against one of the many rocks that were scattered throughout the desert.
A sharp pain shot through his spine all the way up to his neck and a short breath left his mouth when he eventually ended up on his stomach.

All this happened in just a split second, but it was enough.
It was just like he told her.
One well-timed missile was all it took.
Breathing heavily, Vinnie blinked his eyes almost excessively to keep out the blood that poured down his face, but the piece of glass was still stuck in his face as it had buried itself in his orbital bone, and a strange wailing sound slipped past his lips due to the insufferable pain he was in.
It was a sound that would haunt Charley in her dreams forever, and so was the pain, for she felt it as if it was her own.
Jesus, Vinnie.
If only she could comfort him.
If only she could pull him in her arms…
But she couldn't.
All she could was watch, helplessly and utterly powerless.
All she could was feel his pain, his shock, his fear, his everything, and she considered herself lucky that she was protected by the veil of the Mind Walk that covered her own emotions to the level that she didn't feel them.
She had no idea what would happen to her if Vinnie's anguish would mix with hers.
Her soul would probably shatter into a million pieces to never heal again.

With the little vision he had left in his left eye after the bright light of the explosion, Vinnie desperately searched for his bro's, but all he saw was smoke and fire.
And blood.
There was a lot of blood.
The sand was drenched with it, turning it into a black and gluey mess.
Eventually, his gaze landed on something close to him, and his already racing heart almost fell out of his chest when he realized that that something was none other than Modo.
His grey-furred friend lay on his back, with one hand resting on his stomach while the other arm was buried under something that looked a lot like the engine block of his beloved bike, but it was hard to tell.
One thing was pretty clear, though.
He didn't move.
Not even a bit.
A tear left Vinnie's left eye and rolled down his cheek, only to become one with the blood that still flowed out of every wound on his face.
"No…"
It was nothing more than a whisper, but it was enough to symbolize his agony.

The air around him seemed to get even thinner, and there was this weird pressure on his eardrums, along with a high beep that was probably caused by the explosion.
Breathing became increasingly difficult, and suddenly, next to all the physical pain, an immense feeling of loneliness struck him like lighting.
A feeling of being entirely lost, triggered by the thought that he just lost his two bro's.
His best friends, who were always there by his side.
To guard him and to guide him.
As another tear trickled down his cheek, Vinnie stretched out his bleeding hand towards Modo as he tried to crawl closer to him, if only not to feel so terribly alone.
He didn't want to die alone.

But his body just didn't cooperate.
A broken body never did, and thus it wasn't really surprising that he soon was forced to give up.
To just give up, even though he had once vowed to himself never to cave to such weakness.
But it was all that there was left to do.
There was nothing left to live for.
Nothing left to fight for.
Not even the love he felt for Harley was strong enough to compensate for the giant void his bros had left behind by leaving him.
Grunting in sheer agony, Vinnie rolled on his back by using his tail, for he wanted to see the bright pink sky one last time.
One last glance at the reddish veil full of memories of what once was.
It was also the last thing he saw before the entire world became black, leaving Charley behind in the blinding darkness.
And so it was done.
Not even Vinnie, her hero, was invincible.

Along with the darkness came the numbness.
Vinnie's pain, both physically and mentally, faded and soon, there was nothing left, giving Charley a moment to breathe, or well, so to speak.
She still couldn't feel her body, which told her in turn that this, all this, was far from over.
And indeed, the much-needed moment of peace didn't last long.
Like smoke, the darkness around her became less thick and as Charley still attempted to comprehend what the hell just happened, the next memory already presented itself.
Again, she was looking at Mars.
At its whimsical shapes of nature.
But the image she was seeing wasn't steady.
No, it was more like she was riding a roller coaster, which was strange, to say the least.
She didn't even like roller coasters and as far as she knew, Mars would be the last place in the entire galaxy to have theme parks.

However, with sight came hearing, and the already so trusted sound of Vinnie's cherry-red racer broke the peaceful silence, ruthlessly and loudly.
Again, the memory he wanted to show her began with him driving his cherished motorcycle, but it was different this time.
Instead of a steady pace, he was now leaping from rock to rock between the high mountains, performing flawless somersaults while being airborne and a lot more stunts from which Charley didn't even know it was possible to do with a bike.
As opposed to the previous memory, it didn't take very long before she could feel his emotions as if they were her own, and the first thing Charley noticed was that even though he was driving his bike like a madman, there was not a shred of excitement.
It was sheer despair that drove him, forcing him to push his bike to the limits as tears burned behind his eyes.
The physical pain was still there, though to a lesser extent, making Charley conclude that this memory was made after the accident.
After his imprisonment…

We were prisoners in a Plutarkian lab for weeks after that, where they did things to us that go even beyond your wildest imagination, but hey, at least we survived.

It really was strange.
To hear a fragment of one of her own memories while reliving one of his.
And she wondered…
Would she be able to remember all this after the Mind Walk?
Would she still feel everything he was letting her feel right now?
Would his memories become hers?
Well, if that was the case, she perhaps should consider herself lucky that he didn't show her what had happened to him in that lab, for her instinct told her that experiencing the aftermath of all his misery would already be hard enough to deal with.

With shrieking brakes, Vinnie's bike skidded to a halt on some sort of plateau between the mountains that seemed to be close to the entrance of a cave, but it was hard to tell, given Vinnie kept his gaze lowered.
A dreadful silence displaced the earlier great deal of noise, one that pressed against Vinnie's eardrums, making him even more anxious than he already was.
With trembling hands, he pulled off his helmet as he frantically kept his gaze down, and with an almost utmost precision, one that wasn't like him at all, he hung the helmet on the left side mirror.
It was then that Charley realized that something was different.
His vision, though better than right after the accident, was still not entirely restored.
As if there was a blind spot in his right eye, giving him some sort of tunnel vision.
Perhaps that piece of glass hadn't missed his eye after all.
Perhaps it had made him blind in one eye…

Although he obviously tried very hard not to, Vinnie's eyes kept darting to the right mirror of his bike and it didn't take long before he couldn't hold himself back anymore.
With his heart pounding painfully in his chest, he reached out a quivering hand and after a short hesitation, he turned the mouse-shaped mirror towards him.
Biting his lower lip, he took in the face that looked back at him, one he hardly recognized and a short breath escaped his lips when he realized that nothing would ever be the same again.
He would never be the same again, and tears blurred his already low vision as he stared at the blood-stained bandage wrapped around the right side of his head, which in turn explained his bad visibility to Charley, for his eye was hidden under the dirty-looking fabric.

Gradually, he raised his right hand and when his fingers touched the bandage, a tear left his eye and rolled down his unharmed cheek.
Even though he had no idea what was hidden under there, it couldn't be good.
It just couldn't, not after being caught in such a massive explosion.
Not after all the pain he had been through.
Oh man, his face…
His pretty face…
His breathing accelerated, and his throat started to burn due to the crippling emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him, the very ones he tried to suppress with all he had in him.
He didn't want to give in, he merely couldn't.
He had no idea what would happen if he did.
And thus, he kept swallowing and swallowing in the hope that it would ease the fire that was putting his throat on fire quite mercilessly, but it didn't work.
It just didn't work.

"Mirror mirror on the handlebars… Who's the studliest mouse in all of Mars?", he whispered with a breaking voice, which only represented the insufferable anguish he was in.
It wasn't just his face or the physical pain that was still there as his body wasn't fully recovered yet after the endless torturing he had been forced to endure during his time as a prisoner in the Plutarkian lab.
No, it was the panic.
The panic that had crawled into his body ever since that missile struck and it just refused to go away.
It turned him into a nervous wreck, and he hated it.
He hated it with every fiber in his body.
To be so weak.
To be so vulnerable.
To admit that he was traumatized, because deep down, he knew he was, and the rational thought that everyone who had gone through something like that would be left traumatized did not ease his misery.
Not even close.
He wasn't just a normal person.
He was Vinnie van Wham.
He was supposed to be invincible and now…

A muscle close to his nose twitched, and all of a sudden, his body practically burst into flames as pure rage joined the already exhausting mix of emotions.
Watching himself wallowing in self-pity made him furious, even beyond that, for it just wasn't like him and a low growl slipped through his clenched teeth as he lashed out with all the strength he had left inside his broken body.
Perhaps it wasn't as much as before, but his beloved mirror was still no match for such power and it flew off his bike before it smashed against the rocks near the cave.
With loud clattering, the glass shattered into a thousand pieces, but Vinnie hardly noticed.
Perhaps it was for the best if he just left.
To just drive away and never look back.
He didn't belong here, not anymore.

The fact that he just couldn't get over this, that he couldn't resign to his fate and continue living his life just made him so angry.
Angry with himself.
Shit, why couldn't he just accept that this had happened to him and move on?
All he wanted was to move on, to be the glorious mouse he was before all this.
But he simply couldn't.
He had never felt this lost, this lonely.
Even though his bro's took quite the knocking as well, heck, Modo even had to deal with a whole new arm made by the Plutarkians, for fuck sake, he still felt isolated.
Which was strange, actually, for they were going through something similar as he was and therefore, they would understand.
If only he wasn't feeling so ashamed.
Ashamed of himself, of what he had become…

Without warning, another wave of that agonizing pain washed over him, putting out the spark of anger in one fell swoop and if he hadn't been sitting on his bike right now, his legs simply would have given out.
Squeezing his eyes shut tight, he wrapped his arms around his waist in some feeble attempt to comfort himself and he leaned forward, not knowing how to deal with this suffocating heartache.
It felt as if he had lost someone dear, and perhaps he did.
Perhaps a part of him had died that day, there on the battlefield.
The part that made him Vinnie.
That made him invincible.
"Fuck", he panted, clenching his hands into fists as he struggled to get air, but it was just useless.
The weight of his grief was just too much, it was about to crush him…

"Vinnie…"

Like an angel falling from the sky, there was suddenly Harley's voice and his already racing heart skipped a few beats the moment the somewhat smoky tones caressed his eardrums.
If only he could say that his love for her eased his pain, but it didn't.
The invisible hand squeezing his throat just refused to go away.
"Harley, I can't breathe…", he wheezed as the first black spots started to dance before his eyes.
Warm fingers slid through the fur on his arm.
"You're not alone…"
Then why did he feel so lonely?
"You're not alone…"

Maybe it was her voice that was such a delight for his ears, saying the words he just so desperately needed to hear.
Maybe it was the warmth her body radiated.
Or maybe it was just her entire existence.
Whatever it was, it was enough for Vinnie to be able to breathe again, and so he did.
Gratefully, he took a few deep breaths to fill his burning lungs with much-needed oxygen, and gradually, he calmed down a bit.
Just enough for him to snap back to reality and his stomach dropped when shame pushed away all of his other feelings.
There was no way in hell that just happened.
There was just no way that she had witnessed him breaking down like that just now.
Without thinking, he flew upright and the sudden movement triggered a vicious headache, but it was nothing compared with the embarrassment that was now weighing on him.
"Harley", he breathed, not able to look at her.
"How long have you been standing there?"

When it remained silent, he mustered up all the courage he had left in his pitiful body and glanced at her from the corner of his eye.
She looked back at him with eyes burning with sympathy, and he had to remind himself of the fact that sympathy was something different than pity.
He didn't want her pity.
Her sympathy, on the other hand…
…felt like a warm and soothing blanket.
But his demons weren't convinced just yet, and after turning his head, he looked her straight in the eye, searching for judgment, because he just knew it was there.
It had to be.
But it wasn't.
Many things were whirling in her bright-blue irises, but judgment wasn't one of them and he subconsciously let out his breath.

Instead of answering his earlier question, Harley merely pointed at his face.
"Do you mind if I check under the hood?"
Vinnie gawked at her as he was still not entirely convinced that she wasn't having an opinion about him breaking down like that, for it was anything but cool, but then her words made it to his bruised brains and he let out a sound that was a mixture between a laugh and a sob.
"Ah, sure, why not? I guess being half impressed is better than not being impressed at all, right?", he chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, for he had no idea what to do with his hands all of a sudden.
Dammit, she always made him feel so self-conscious.
But then, he froze.
Wait, what?
Why did he say that?
He couldn't let her see what was hidden under there.
He wasn't even ready to see for himself, let alone show it to her.
Ugh, curse that big mouth of yours.

But before he could take back his words, her hands already reached out to him and her fingers brushed the short fur on his forehead when she started to unwrap the bandage.
And strangely enough, he let her.
He just let her.
Not able to take his eyes away from her, he just silently watched her while she gently removed the bandage, and soon, the dry Martian air tickled the sensitive wounded skin on the right side of his face.
Harley slowly lowered her hands as she studied his face whilst Vinnie did the same with hers, expecting to see shock, or perhaps even disgust.
But her face remained impassive.
Her eyes, though…
Her eyes were a completely different story as they were now fuming in anger all of a sudden.
Anger because of what they had done to him, though that was just a guess on his part.

"I need to see it", he blurted out without thinking.
Weird, but true.
Harley's face softened as her fiery eyes now locked with his.
"Are you sure?"
"That bad, huh?", he mumbled, already losing his courage again, the very one that used to define him, once.
"Nothing I can't fix", Harley smiled confidently and she pushed something in his hand.
"Stay out of trouble. I'll be right back."
As she walked away, Vinnie looked down at the object in his hand, which turned out to be a small hand mirror and his heart fluttered in his chest when he suddenly realized that by walking away to do whatever she was planning on doing, she had given him a moment of privacy.
Now that wasn't really earth-shattering, but the reason why was.
A smile curled his lips, though it was a small one.
She cared.
Even more so, she understood, and his entire body started to glow from top to bottom.
Maybe he wasn't so alone after all…

It was this particular thought that gave him the courage to raise the small mirror, along with Harley's somewhat laid-back response.
As he chewed on the inside of his cheek, his red eyes wandered over his face to take in the damage, which was… substantial, to say the least.
And just like that, he was back in the shadows.
Back on the path into darkness deep as hell.
Gone was the warm feeling, the feeling of being loved.
How could someone love him, or even bear to think of him while he looked like this?
He could even hardly look at it, for it was the most horrible and gruesome sight he had ever seen, mostly because it was his own face.
His worst nightmare had come true.
He was mutilated.
A freak.
No one would ever be able to love him, ever again…

"Here we go, hotshot…"

Harley's voice broke Vinnie out of his lamentation, and his primary reaction was to run away as fast as he could, for he didn't want her to see him like this.
Then again, she had already seen it without batting an eye.
That had to mean something and thus, he turned his head towards her, even though every cell in his body literally screamed not to.
She held up a round piece of metal with a somewhat triumphant expression on her pretty face and Vinnie narrowed his eyes, not understanding why a stupid chunk of metal made her this cheerful.
It wasn't like it miraculously could solve all of his problems, or was it?
"What is it?"
"Flex plate shielding", she simply answered, as if that explained everything, which it didn't by the way, but without waiting for him to respond, she brought the plate to his face.

The moment the metal came closer to him, it suddenly came to life and Vinnie's eyes grew big when he realized that he was about to be attacked by a blob of fluid metal.
In some sort of reflex, he pulled his head back, but although it was rare, he was a fraction too slow, and before he knew it, the strange material already made contact with his face.
Like cold water, it crawled over his wounded skin, all the way to the back of his head and he blinked in surprise when the pain in his face decreased until it was nothing more than a light sensation.
Harley's smile grew even bigger.
"For vehicle repairs and the occasional macho mouse makeover", and she pointed at the small mirror that was still in his hand.

Pulling a face, for it felt really weird, Vinnie raised his hand, but when he looked into the mirror, his heart just stopped, and so did his breathing.
In fact, for a moment, everything around him seemed to halt.
The flex plate had wrapped around the right side of his face like a mask, and he had to admit…
It looked kind of badass.
Turning his head, he took in every angle as he still tried to get used to the strange feeling of having some sort of second skin, but he couldn't really find any flaws.
Okay, so perhaps this stupid chunk of metal didn't solve all of his problems, but it came close, alright.
One corner of his mouth twitched, and soon, a big smile appeared on his face, and the strangest thing was - it didn't even hurt.
"Whoa, we're talking heavy metal mug here, sweetheart!", and he lowered the mirror, only to look straight into Harley's ravishing face.

All he wanted was to thank her from the bottom of his heart, but the moment their eyes locked, he just forgot the words.
Since he wasn't entirely caught up in his misery anymore, he suddenly became very aware of how close to him she was right now, and, as always before all this, it turned him into a shy schoolboy, his usual bravado nowhere to be found.
It started with blushing cheeks, but soon, even the tip of his tail was burning as if it was on fire and the mirror slipped through his sweaty hands.
She caught it before it could hit the ground, though and he could only be impressed by her quick reflexes.
"So I uh… I uh.. Well, I ah…", he stuttered helplessly, his ears twitching in embarrassment as he stared at the mirror between her delicate fingers for a moment before his eyes darted back to her.
But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't find the words.
Well, this isn't awkward at all…

Lucky for him, Harley seemed to know exactly what he was trying to say here, and while shaking her head with twinkling blue eyes and a smile that revealed her perfect set of shiny white teeth, she pulled him in her arms
"You're welcome, cutie."
For a moment, Vinnie was too shocked to do something, for her scent was already enough for him to almost slither away in his own drool, but then, he let out his breath as he too wrapped his arms around her.
Home.
He was home.

The image faded.
Harley's scent faded.
Her warmth faded.
Everything faded, until there was only darkness.
It was then that Charley suddenly realized that she was still there as well.
But it felt like waking up after a deep slumber.
The longer the Mind Walk went on, the more she became one with Vinnie, which was a really strange feeling.
As if she just slowly faded, just as the previous memory was now doing.
With that realization, the next memory already started to play and soon, Charley was back to being an observer hidden behind the curtains.

It all started with a voice.
An all so trusted voice, though it was now soaked with pure hatred and a hint of fear.

"Get your dirty hands off of me, you filthy rat!"

The high tone of her indignation immediately alarmed Vinnie, and he swirled around.
What he saw made his blood boil, setting his entire body on fire like a missile that went off.
Mace was holding Harley, his dirty furry arm wrapped around her upper body while his other hand held a gun against her temple.
And then there was his foul hairless tail, coiled around her small waist, staining her pureness.
No way…
No fucking way.

"A little nightmare to remember me by, mice!"

Even before he could fully realize what was happening here, Vinnie already came into action.
His first steps were a bit wobbly, but soon, he was running towards Harley whilst his white-furred fingers struggled with the opening of his leg holster. However, it soon turned out that Mace, perhaps, was right.
This was a nightmare.
That could be the only reason why it felt as if his feet were stuck in quicksand, slowing him down.
Why he couldn't free his gun out of its holster to blow that jerk's brains out, for it seemed to be stuck for whatever reason.
Breathing heavily, he raised his red eyes and they locked with blue ones.
If only he recognized them, but he hardly didn't.
Goddammit, she was scared, and not just a little.
The fear glazed her eyes, obscuring the usual bright-blue flames.
It was as if she knew that he wasn't going to be there on time.
How could she doubt him like that?
He was going to make it.
He was going to save her, just like he always did.
Just like she had saved him.

Time stopped ticking, as it always did in the darkest moments of one's life.
Gritting his teeth, Vinnie lunged forward and when his feet lost contact with the red sand, he reached out his hands to her.
The left corner of his mouth curled up when he realized he was going to make it.
The time had come to be her hero, once again…
But then, out of nowhere, a flash of blue light.
A light so bright, it forced Vinnie to close his eyes, if only for a split second.
Soon thereafter, he landed on the ground, right at the spot where Mace and Harley had been only seconds ago.
Instead of feeling her warm body under his, all he felt was the hot sand and his eyes flew open in confusion.
Why wasn't she here?
Her scent was.
It lingered in the air around him, though it was mixed with Mace's stench, making him sick to the stomach.

Slowly, he lowered his gaze to look at his hands, but when he gradually unclenched his fists, all he saw was sand.
Millions of sand grains sticking to the teeny-tiny white hairs on his fingers, and his breathing became shallow.
No…
No, no, no…
This couldn't be happening.
With the already familiar panic gnawing on his insides, Vinnie pushed himself up and looked around him with his red eyes wide open, searching for the one thing that provided him light in his life.
But he didn't see her.
She was gone.
Vanished into thin air.
"Harley…"
His voice sounded like those of a stranger, and he shook his head a bit helplessly as his eyes still scanned his surroundings in the hope that she was just hiding somewhere, all safe and sound.
"Harley!"

But as the sprawling desert carried away the desperate tones of his voice, all that came in return was silence.
Awful and sinister silence.
And just like that, the panic was back in full splendor.
Before the accident, he had no idea what the meaning of sheer panic was.
What it could do to a person.
But he knew now.
Harley had been the only one on this entire planet who was able to make him forget again.
To lock it away in the dungeons of his black despair, where it remained dormant, waiting for the right moment to break its chains.
That moment was now.
Without Harley by his side, all there remained were his still open wounds, poignant and aching.
A trauma.

The invisible hand was back.
It squeezed his throat ruthlessly, and Vinnie dropped to his knees in the sand, desperately gasping for air.
It was based on nothing, nothing but a hunch, but he knew that he had lost her forever just now.
He just knew it.
He felt it in every fiber of his aching body.
"No, please, Harley…", he panted, clenching his fists as he closed his eyes in some feeble attempt to stop the tears that seemed to walk hand in hand with the insufferable anguish.
He was alone again.
All alone again.
If only he was ready, but he wasn't.
He needed her, so, so badly…
Without her, he was nothing.
Nothing but a wanderer without a cause.
"Don't go where I can't follow…"

The pain was unbearable.
Truly unsustainable, and he burst into tears, almost choking on his heartache.
Fuck, he had failed her.
He had failed her in so many ways.
"No, Harley…"
All he wanted was for her to come back.
"Please…"
He would give anything for her to come back.
"Don't leave me here, all alone…"
If only he hadn't been such a coward.
If only he had one more day.
If only he had one more chance to look into her eyes and see her looking back.
All so he could tell her…
"I love you…"

Oomph.
Heavy shit.
I can only hope this all made sense, it was pretty difficult to write.
But I wanted to let you all, along with Charley, experience how Vinnie experienced this quite traumatizing and painful period in his life, and so I focussed more on his emotions and feelings than the 'details' of Martian history.
If I had to tell the entire story as we know it from 'Once Upon A Time On Mars', it would've cost me at least five chapters to the very least, hehe.
Besides, that isn't the point right now.
This story is about Charley and Vinnie and tough love.

Aaaanyway...
I think the question is - how will Charley react to all this?
What will happen to her after experiencing Vinnie's trauma as if it were her own?
In other words - what will her mental state be when she wakes up?
After all, she's only human...

Only time will tell.
I've already written a big part of the next chapter, so I hope that it won't take me this long to update.
But no guarantees.
My head works in mysterious ways, after all.

Feel free to leave a review, it always makes my day and it's really nice to hear from you, but as always, no pressure. :)
Stay safe out there, and till next time!

Later!