Lalatina had finally arrived, and with her a wagon filled with armor of various kinds.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" she said apologetically. "The weight of all the armor slowed us down more than I thought it would!"

Judging from the crates—not chests, crates—that were being carried in behind the other blonde knight by big, muscular blacksmith's apprentices two or three to a crate, this was likely not an excuse.

"It's fine," Maria said. "We were just about to get started with the light armors."

Her squire nodded with happy eagerness, like a raven with a pile of corpses to peck eyeless. "Yes! I'm really looking forward to it. Though I think I'll probably just wear what cou—er, Dame Mathew is wearing."

"Ah…" Dame Matthew looked hesitant. "Squire Katarina, my armor is very expensive. Mother used a lot of Twinkling Titanite to make it."

All that garnered was a blank, ignorant look.

"It's a very rare, hard-to-get metal," Dame Matthew added.

"Oh!" Katarina said, her eyes lighting up in realization. "Like, a super-super-rare metal that's a hundred to one existence, sort of thing?"

"Rarer, I think, especially since Crystal Lizards bred in captivity usually only grow common titanite, which is itself fairly rare," Dame Matthew said. She looked aside bashfully. "Mother… ah, might have spent a lot of souls getting the materials for my armor."

Her squire got a strange look on her face, muttering to herself. Something about… someone being a wail? What did that mean?

"Well, let us not delay," Maria said. She pointed at a curtained-off area. "Disrobe in there and I will give you the sample armors that the workshop has in its collection for you to try. After you put on the armor, I will have to do some standards movements to let you get a feel for how they affect your mobility."

"Yes, Dame Campbell!" Katarina said brightly.

In the corner, Lord Keith leaned towards his father. "Do you think they still remember we're here?"

Duke Claes shook his head, even as his eyes followed his wife just as Keith's eyes followed his sister. "Probably not until I actually have to pay for something."

…

A Katarina Interlude

The first thing Katarina was handed made her wonder if she was being pranked.

"Um, Dame Campbell?" she called through the curtain as she held up the… armor… that she had been handed. "Did you hand me the right thing?" She stuck it out the curtain just to be sure.

"Yes, that's correct," she heard Maria say. "Put it on."

"Over my armor?" she clarified, confused.

"What? No, of course not. Take off your armor and put that one on."

…

Katarina took a moment to seriously wonder if perhaps Maria was a pervert. Or at least had some sort of weird fetish.

Then she remembered Maria Campbell was the Main Character. That meant she had EVERY fetish.

"All right…" she said reluctantly as she put it on. Maria wouldn't mess with her, right?

She delayed by taking the time to fold her clothes and neatly stack her armor, taking great care to put on her sword belt and making sure it was just right before she stepped out.

In the corner of the room, someone immediately started choking.

Dame Campbell nodded. "Yes, that's the proper way to put it on. Many people accidentally wear it inside out, or as some sort of wrap, if you could believe." Mashu and Lalatina were shaking their heads at the silliness of some people.

'It' was… well, a set of rags, basically. There was a pretty big rag that went diagonally over one shoulder and wrapped around her waist, but a rag nonetheless. She was also wearing a clean but ragged-looking waistcloth that seemed kind of fetishy, and covered so little it was clear she had on her bloomers under it. Equally ragged tubes of cloth had gone over her hands as 'gloves' and a final rag wrapped around her face, with the option of also wrapping over one eye like she was some kind of chuuni. If the things hadn't been clean and smelled freshly laundered, she'd have though they were floor rags.

"This armor," Maria—and she was 'Maria' until Katarina was sure this wasn't a prank—managed to say with a perfectly straight face, "is known as the Master's Set, for only by those who have mastered the skills of rolling, evasion and parrying to such a degree that they have eschewed all armor as a hindrance that slowed them down. Such people tend to wield extremely heavy and powerful weapons, and they are feared across any battle field." Yup, she actually looked serious as she said—wait, Latatina and Mashu were nodding?-!-?-! "Should you ever encounter someone in this garb on the battlefield, my squire, run. Run towards your nearest allies and hope they have a wielder of Fire Magic among them."

SERIOUSLY?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!

"Now, while I think you are several decades too young to even consider wearing this armor to battle," Maria said, still looking completely serious, "you should try it so you understand the advantages of this armor…"

A reluctant Katarina did as she was instructed, walking back and forth across the fitting room, breaking out into a sprint, rolling, and practicing the basic moves with her sword. It was… well, about as she expected. While she'd gotten used to the weight of her practice armor, it was a weight. In this armor (it was rags!), given she was practically naked, and the rags were pretty worn and light, her step was light and quick, and she was able to throw herself much farther than usual while rolling.

…

No, she definitely wasn't ever, ever, EVER going to pick this 'armor' (it was rags!).

She had never been more glad to take off her clothes, and that includes the time she puked on herself when they went to DezeniSea and got on the tea cups.

The next set she was given, she was relieved to see, was ACTUAL armor that even she could tell was armor! That was a good sign! It had a thick leather coat with squares that she recognized as a padded gambeson, like her underlayer but much thicker, with stiffer leather. It was a bit hot, since it had long sleeves, especially since she wore it over her shirt. It came with thick, boiled leather gloves, as well as leather trousers and boots with metal armor over the knees. It also had a helmet that reminded her of a gravy boat.

She changed into this much faster than the other one.

"This was the standard infantry armor in many places, even up to this day, and is thus called, unofficially, the Infantry set," Dame Lalatina said. "While it has some protective capability, it's generally considered very poor but light. It's mainly used for nearly untrained conscripts or as armor for armsmen in positions that are unlikely to see much danger."

Marian nodded. "My armsmen wear it on their day-to-day duties."

"Is this really armor?" Katarina asked, looking down at herself. "I mean, it feels like I'm wearing a stiff winter coat."

"Yes," Dame Lalatina said dismissively. "It's close to a 'better than nothing' armor. Try moving in it."

She did, and while she no longer got the distance she did while rolling with the rags, the stiff shoulders took some getting used to.

"It's… not bad," she said. "But I don't feel very protected…"

"Next one, then," Dame Campbell said.

Ooh, brigandine! It was like a bullet proof vest, but not modern. It was much more snug than the gambeson, and the armored sleeves weren't very long, reaching only midways down her bicep. She put it on, as well as the pants and gauntlets that went with it. It came with thick metal greaves and sabatons, and while the gauntlets didn't have articulated fingers, they did cover the back of the hand, with a lip for the fingers to hide behind. And it was still lighter than her training armor! It also came with a cloth hood. Was that for keeping out the rain?

"This one's nice," Katarina declared as she stepped out, her sword belt in place as she moved around her arms, getting a feel for the armor. "Though why doesn't it have a proper helmet?"

"It's meant for infiltrators and those setting up ambush," Mashu explained. "They're very light and surprisingly sturdy."

Katarina raised one knee, then switched to the other. "This feels pretty heavy," she said.

Wait, why were the three of them laughing like that?

The next armor was chainmail. It felt strangely like putting on loose pajamas over her trousers and shirt. The upper part was even sort of shaped like a big nightgown, and the head part was basically a sack with a hole in it.

And it was all made of metal rings.

"How do you feel?" Dame Campbell asked.

"It's… really heavy," Katarina admitted. "All over."

"Well, you ARE wearing a lot of metal," Mashu said.

To her surprise, she still managed to roll pretty well, though she could feel the metal hood around her head try to fall of it weren't for the fact it was secured to the metal shirt, which was held in place by her belt.

"I don't think I like this," she said. "It feels like it might come off."

"Many people see that as acceptable, especially given how easy it is to move around in," Dame Lalatina said.

"But the hood… doesn't really do anything?" Katarina said.

"And it doesn't protect against arrows," Dame Campbell said, looking disapproving, "about the only reason there is to wear armor."

After that was… actual armor! At least, armor the way that Katarina imagine armor to be. That is, solid and curved pieces of metal that covered your body. Unfortunately, putting this on wasn't as easy as slapping a belt buckle on and saying 'Henshin!' Two shop assistants had to help her put it on this time since it had a whole bunch of straps and screws that, while she could put on and remove herself, clearly needed a lot of practice to get used to. Much better that she get help for it.

Apparently, armor was supposed to go from the feet upwards. She'd been told that before, but had never understood why. Now, she did.

The armor they were putting one her was pretty cool, a mix of plates and chain mail. It was also tighter against her skin than the gauntlets and greaves from before, giving her a very cool tokusatsu look. She thought it would be stiff, like the brigandine, but overlapping armor plates on her sides actually her move a lot more than the brigandine had, and without the annoying 'poofy pajamas' feeling of the chain mail. It was actually slightly lighter than the chain mail, according to the two women helping her get dressed.

"This is really cool!" she said when she stepped out of the dressing area. "I think I like this the most!"

Dame Lalatina laughed. "You and every squire ever," she said. "That's a reproduction of the armor of the Abysswalker, one of the most famous knights ever."

Katarina blinked, tilting her head. "Who?" Abysswalker? Wasn't there some guy with that name… his dad cut off his hand or something, so he became an evil clown…?

For some reason, Mashu and Dame Lalatina looked shocked, and both turned toward Maria… who had her face in her hands. Eh? What had Katarina done wrong?

"I will correct it," her knight said tiredly.

Eh? EH? Was someone going to be losing dessert because of her?-! She didn't mean to!

Next came a set that was what she thought of when someone mentioned 'western knight armor'. They even 'called' it the Knight Set!

"This armor design is one of the most ancient ones that we know of," Mashu said as Katarina walked around completely covered in metal and wearing a helmet that looked like it had a pointed nose. "Stories say that it comes from even before the time of myths, back to the imaginary kingdom of Boletaria, which was ruled by the black-clad Betrayed Goddess."

Katarina threw herself into a roll, and was astounded that, despite the lack of sliding armor plates at her sides, she was still able to roll smoothly. Bending over was a problem though. She definitely wouldn't be able to harvest carrots while wearing this!

"Why would you want to harvest carrots while wearing armor?" Dame Lalatina asked, confused.

Katarina opened her mouth, then paused. "Mosquitoes?"

"Have no fear, my squire," Dame Campbell said. "My lands are far from any swamps."

Oooookay?

The next armor had a face. It also had really long faulds, so Katarina could understand why Mother would think knights wore skirts. Everything was really sharp though, such that she was afraid that she'd cut someone by brushing up against them. Also…

"This is really heavy," Katarina said, a bit out of breath as she moved the long, fluttery plume out of her face. "I don't think I'm rolling as far."

Wait, why are you three exchanging looks?

The next armor made her laugh.

"I look like a white onion!" Katarina said, and even Maria was smiling as the squire patted the big fat stomach made by her armor.

"Yes, that's what you'll look like if you keep over eating," Keith agreed.

"Eh? Keith, that's mean! True, but mean!" Katarina blinked. "Wait, you were there?"

Keith gave her a flat look, then pointed at the corner of the room where Mother and Father were sitting next to an empty chair. "Yes. Always." He gave her an intent stare that seemed to go Jiiiiiiiii.

Katarina would have asked why he'd gotten up, then noticed that mother and father were… GASP! Holding hands! No wonder Keith had to step back if they were doing something so lewd in public…

"Do you like that one, Katarina?" Mashu asked, a sly smile on her face. Dame Lalatina did too.

"Yeah, it's really funny!" And surprisingly light for its size. Katarina shook sideways, snickering as she watched the armor jiggle.

For some reason, the two of them glanced at Maria. Sensei, why are you giving them money?

The next armor made her feel like some kind of toku show monster.

"This is heavy," Katarina said, straining with each step. While she could walk, it was like she was some kind of rampaging giant, and she didn't sprint for fear of breaking the floor. Each swing of her sword was an effort to move the armor and gauntlets more than it was to move the wood in her hands. She was so slow a test strike by Maria even resulted in her being too slow to parry right! "Do people actually wear this?"

"They used to," Dame Lalatina said. "It's from my private collection. This armor is a reproduction of the ones worn by the Primal Knights of ancient Drangleic, who were said to be inhuman abominations with fearsome brute strength, created with forbidden sorcery by the Scholar of the First Sin!"

Mashu frowned. "Wait, I thought the King of Want made the Primal Knights?"

"Look, we all know that Aldia was the lunatic doing all the magic research—" Dame Lalatina began.

As the two began to bicker, Maria turned to Katarina. "So, try rolling."

Katarina gulped, but obeyed.

Taking a deep breath, she threw herself forward into a roll!

The crashing sound was loud in her ears, but she managed it, even though she felt like it was more of a flop than a proper combat roll. She even managed to get back to her feet in the same movement… only to fall over backwards with a crash, panting.

"Heavy…" she groaned.

"Worry not, my squire," Dame Campbell said. "Only one last armor for you to try."

"Oh. Good," Katarina sighed.

It was not good.

"This is the unique, signature armor of my Covenant, who proudly never flinch nor retreat from combat, and crush any foe that stand in our way!" Dame Lalatina said proudly. "You're wearing one of my three spares! What do you think, squire Katarina? Isn't it the best armor of all?"

She looked at the stony, armored form of Katarina, who was still in the changing room, thought the curtains had been drawn back.

Hesitantly, straining, Katarina walked forward. One step… Two steps… Thr—oh no.

There was a crash as Katarina fell face-first on the floor.

"Katarina!" Keith exclaimed, running to his sister's side and trying to help her up.

Or… tried to, anyway.

After huffing and puffing several times, Keith had to step back and catch his breath. Katarina still lay on the floor, not moving.

"I pity your foes," she heard Maria say as she just lay there, too tired to move.

"Help!" Katarina wailed after she got her breath back. "I've fallen and I can't get up!"