A/N: I don't own Harry Potter.

Trigger Warning: Depression

His back was towards her, his head under the blankets. She sighed before climbing onto the bed next to him. She touched his back gently, rubbing it.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Was it something I did? Are you mad at me?"

"Not you, s'me." She bit her lip and looked towards the ceiling. It was going to be a long night, she could already tell.

"Now what?" she asked figuring she already knew the answer.

"I'm a loser, I'm nothing."

"You are not nothing."

"I'm horrible at everything, everything falls apart the moment I touch it, you should just leave, find someone who deserves you." Yes, she knew this argument, could feel the depression talking beneath his voice.

"What falls apart?"

"Everything."

"It can't be everything, Sev, or the house would have fallen down around us. What happened, I can't help you unless you talk to me."

"Don't want to." She pulled a chocolate bar from her bag. She knew it wouldn't really help, he probably wouldn't even take it.

"Here, eat, might make you feel better." He ignored her, continued to face the wall.

"No."

"It's chocolate, it makes things better." Sometimes she felt like she was dealing with a child when he was like this. She wondered if it was because he had never been taken care of as a child that caused him to revert.

"Quit quoting that stupid wolf."

"He's right you know," she commented. Her plan had kind of worked, at least he was thinking about something other than whatever was bothering. If she could just keep him talking...

"Don't care. It exploded."

"What exploded?"

"The potion. It shouldn't have, where did I go wrong?"

"Without reading your notes I have no clue. What were you working on this time?"

"Curing lycanthropy."

"And your potion exploded. Were you hurt."
"No."

"Good. We both know this isn't about the potion, Severus. What's really wrong."

"I did something stupid."

"I doubt it, but continue." She shook her head, she had a pretty good idea of what her husband considered stupid.

"I went to her grave."

"Lily's?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's been so long. I thought, maybe, with you being here...you deserve better than me. I'm a broken old man who did something so terrible his own best friend wanted nothing to do with him."

"Are we talking about you taking the mark again?"

"Yes."

"Can you actually go back in time and change it?"

"No."

"Exactly. You need to move past the past. It was terrible. You feel you had no choice, you would do anything to save her. I don't entirely understand, I've never been in a position like that, thankfully, but I do know it wasn't easy for you. I know you've regretted it all these years. You need to let go, it doesn't make you a loser, it doesn't make you a bad man. It means you gave in to a moment of weakness, it doesn't define you, Severus and the sooner you start to admit that the better."

"You deserve better."

"I don't want better, I want you. I've always wanted you, I wouldn't be here otherwise."

"I'm just a broken old man, Hermione. Why did you even agree to marry me?"

"Because I love you, you...dunderhead!" She could feel him smirk. Good, she was getting through to him.

"Why, why do you love me, you know what I've done." And back to square one.

"Because, you're kind, you deny it, but you are. You're smart, I wouldn't be with someone who wasn't. We have a lot in common, even you can't deny that." He didn't, instead he rolled over to face her.

"And, you're not bad looking, sir," she added kissing him.

"I'm still..."

"Depressed, upset, mad that you had a set back on your potion?"

"Yes."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"No, I don't deserve you, you know that."

"You say that, but you don't mean it. Now, get up out of this bed, show me your notes and let's see if we can figure out what went wrong. I highly doubt it was something you did."

"I don't make mistakes in my potions, I am a Master," he muttered as she pulled him from the bed. She was happy to hear some of the arrogance returning to his voice. This wasn't the first time she'd had to talk him out of a depressive episode, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. But she would always do it, always be there for him.

"Yes, you are," she responded giving him a smile as they walked into the lab together.