Chapter 5

Liam:

"I can't believe we are really playing Go Fish right now." Isaac said throwing down a match.

"It's a classic game." Allison argued but you could see her hiding a smile. She suggested this game, but I'm beginning to think she did it only to annoy her boyfriend.

Isaac, Lydia, and Allison had all come to stay over the course of the night. Well, Isaac was going to stay, the girls were just here to keep us company until they decided to leave. Lydia kept checking her phone, waiting for word from Scott. I hoped things went okay. I hoped we got Stiles back and that Malia is fine. And I really hope Corinne will no longer be an issue.

In the meantime, Isaac brought burgers for dinner, that's kind of healthy. All the major food groups were represented. And they had stopped by the store and got some cards so we could have something to occupy our time instead of just watching TV. It helped to keep my mind off of the urge to shift, but only barely.

"So is poker." He argued.

"Who knows how to play poker?" I asked. Everyone except me raised their hands.

"You don't know how to play?" Theo asked and I shook my head.

"No, never learned. Besides, I've been told that I have no poker face."

"We could teach you?" Lydia offered.

My skin started to crawl, and I looked out the window to see the moon was up. I took a minute to focus and breathe. I could feel the urge to shift but it wasn't pressing. I didn't feel like I would lose control.

"Liam?" Theo called.

"I'm fine. I think I'm going to sit this one out. You guys should play." I said putting my cards down.

"You sure? Do you want to get some air?" Isaac asked.

"No, I'm good. Just give me a minute." I said getting up and heading to the bathroom.

Door closed firmly I leaned against it and cleared my mind, taking deep breaths and repeating my mantra, that was apparently failing me at this time. Turning on the cold water I splashed some over my face, trying to alleviate the antsy feeling I was getting. Looking in the mirror over the sink I could see my eyes flickering between blue and gold. The door opened and Isaac slipped through, closing it again.

"You okay?" he asked. I looked over at him and he could see it. "Struggling?"

"Yeah, I mean I feel fine, not like I'm going to wolf out or anything, but I can feel it just under the surface. I'm not used to fighting it."

"Yeah, I can see that. Usually, you're in a more controlled environment. So, you're safe to wolf out with no real problem. It was hard my first time going through it in a public setting."

"How did you do it?"

"Well, mine was a more chaotic environment to begin with. I was still with Derek, and he had three of us he had to deal with. I had to push past it to help Derek with the other two. I used my father, before he became abusive, to stay semi human. It was hard, I won't lie."

"Yeah." I said as my skin crawled again.

"Come on, let's get some air. Just a few minutes. It will help, I promise."

I nodded thinking it was a good idea. Isaac opened the door, and every eye was on us.

"We'll be back." Isaac told them. Theo looked concerned but I gave him a smile to show I was okay.

Isaac took us up to the roof. I thought this would bring back memories of that night, but it didn't, surprisingly enough. Maybe because I no longer feared what I had become, I just accepted it and dealt with it. There are parts to being a wolf I really like. I inhaled deeply as soon as we stepped outside. My urges died down and I felt so much better. I exhaled audibly and Isaac chuckled.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Much, thanks. How does the moon not affect you?"

"It does. I feel it all."

"I never see you lose control and shift."

"I do sometimes. It's not often, not like it used to be. Usually, I'm triggered by past memories. But honestly if it hadn't been for Scott, Stiles and Allison I would probably still be bursting into fur every day."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. You know my past, we told you. I haven't completely gotten over what happened to me when I was with my father. It still has moments where it sneaks up on me. Like a form of PTSD. Once I joined Scott's pack he worked with me to handle things better. Stiles is good at discovering new ways to help stay in control. They are usually weird, unconventional ways but still."

We both laughed.

"And Allison, is it just because you're together?"

"No. I mean being with her is a big help. But even before we got together I just felt the need to be safe around her. I know she can handle herself and she can put me flat on my ass at any time, shifted or not. But before we started dating she made me feel more myself even during the full moon."

"Maybe I'll have that one day."

"Don't you already?" he snorted. My mind automatically went to Theo and, of course, I blushed which just made Isaac laugh harder.

"Let's get back." I muttered heading for the door. We headed back downstairs with Isaac still snickering behind me.

"What's he giggling about?" Allison asked when we got back to the room.

"Nothing." I quickly said before he could open his mouth.

We played a few more rounds of goldfish before Isaac rebelled. He settled down to watch TV, Allison and Lydia started online shopping over their phones and Theo was attempting to teach me poker. My ears perked up and Isaac's head turned when we heard a roar from far off.

"Scott." Isaac said and his eyes glowed gold. I know mine were too. But where Isaac was able to shake off the need to shift I wasn't so lucky. Mine was coming on fast. I quickly stood up and backed away into a corner far away from everyone.

"Liam." Theo called.

"I'm…." I couldn't finish the thought, trying to fight against the pull to be out there, the need to hunt. I slid down the wall, trying to focus, repeating my mantra over and over again.

"Liam, you need to focus." Theo said, his voice soothing and I tried but I couldn't. I could feel the growl building in my chest. I dug my clawed fingers into my hair careful not to scalp myself and breathed deeply.

"Wait, don't." Isaac said. I didn't look to see but I could hear footsteps getting closer and smelled Theo.

"Theo stay back. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't." he said closer now. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears and shook with the effort to try and shift back.

"You don't know that." I said and I could even hear the changes in my voice.

"Liam, look at me." he said right in front of me now. I felt his hands grab mine and pull them from my hair.

"Look at me." he repeated, and I did, completely wolfed out; full-on fangs, fur, eyes, and claws but he didn't even flinch.

"What three things cannot be long hidden?" he asked calmly and soothingly.

"I tried that; it's not working." I snapped at him. He didn't look phased.

"Not with me you haven't. So… what three things cannot long be hidden?"

"The sun… the moon… and the truth." I recited. He grinned.

"Again."

"The sun… the moon… and the truth."

"One more time." He said gripping my neck and pressing his forehead to mine. I could feel his breath fan across my face and that helped more than anything to calm me down.

"The sun… the moon… and the truth." I sighed feeling my shift back to human. I relaxed feeling the urges fade away. I leaned away and he let me go.

"There, feel better?" he asked. I nodded.

"How did you do that?" I asked.

"What, get you to focus?"

"Yeah."

"I know you said the mantra helps. But I know you are so worried about hurting anyone that you couldn't focus. I thought you needed a focal point. And who wouldn't want to focus on me." he smirked. He got up, offering a hand. I took it and let him pull me up.

"You good?" Isaac asked. He had Lydia and Allison both behind him.

"Yeah, I'm okay." I told him and everyone relaxed. The door opened and Ms. M. stepped in.

"Everything okay in here?" she asked.

"All good." Isaac answered. She nodded then turned a narrow gaze on Theo.

"Why aren't you in bed?"

"Stretching my legs." He said, smiling charmingly at her. I snorted and rolled my eyes.

"Right, back in bed. I'm here to take more blood." She said wheeling a cart in behind her. He groaned but got back in bed. I stepped back to stand with the others while we watched her take more blood.

"Told you that you already had it." Isaac whispered to me.

I glanced at him then looked back at Theo.

Theo:

Scott showed up at about eight and went right to Lydia, kissing her as if he had not seen her in days. Isaac and Allison, who were both dozing in a chair- how they both managed that I don't know, woke up as soon as the door opened. Liam turned in his chair but didn't let go of my hand which he had been holding pretty much non-stop all night.

"I'm not sure if that kiss means everything went okay or not." I whispered to Liam.

"He kisses her like that all the time, so there is really no telling." He shrugged.

"Everything went fine." Scott said, setting Lydia on her feet.

"So, everyone's okay?" Allison asked.

"For the most part, yes."

"For the most part?" Lydia asked.

"We got Stiles but both he and Malia were hurt. They're fine or will be. They are being checked out now."

"And Corinne?" Isaac asked.

"She's still alive but badly hurt. We'll go over everything in a few days when everyone is out of the hospital, and we can all meet." He said. We all nodded.

"How did things go here?"

"Everything went fine." I answered. But I could see Isaac grinning maniacally. Scott caught it and raised a brow.

"What's with the creepy smile?" he asked. Liam groaned. The rest of us snickered.

"Nothing. We should head out now that we know everyone is okay." Isaac said.

"You're not staying?" Scott asked. Isaac shook his head.

"No, I don't need too."

Scott looked at us and then turned back to Isaac.

"You sure?"

Now Isaac looked at us and smirked.

"Trust me, I'm not needed here."

"Okay…" Scott said slowly. "Well, I need to check in with Stiles again. But I'll walk you out. See you guys later." He said to us before they all left. Liam groaned again, his head falling onto the bed.

"He's going to tell Scott about earlier, isn't he?" I asked.

"Of course, he is." He sighed.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, but I'm still trying to figure it out myself."

"What exactly are you trying to figure out?" I asked. He looked at me and pinked up.

"Why and how you affect me so much."

"Just what affect do I have on you?" I asked smiling.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" I laughed.

"You know how you look at me. It's the same look you give me when you are trying to make me blush. I should be permanently red now." He pouted adorably.

"I can't help it. You are so unbelievably cute when you blush. Makes me want to kiss the hell out of you."

And there it is again.

"But back to my question, how do I affect you?" I was genuinely curious.

"Uh…" he looked everywhere but at me.

"Liam."

He seemed to deflate slightly and sighed.

"It's just like I said. I'm still trying to figure it out. I told you about the need I have to touch you."

I nodded.

"Well, it's kind of more than that."

'Okay, how much more?"

"You shouldn't be able to calm me down like you did earlier."

"I just helped you focus. You said the mantra helped with your control, but you weren't clear minded enough to let it."

"It wasn't the mantra I was focused on when I finally calmed down, it was you." he said looking at me. My brows shot up in surprise.

"Me?"

"See, you don't understand it anymore then I do."

"So, explain it to me from your point of view. What's going on?"

He let go of my hand and sat back in his chair running his fingers through his hair. I hated the loss of contact immediately but let him have his space. The agitation was clearly visible, he was right he had no poker face.

"Things seem to be happening fast or feels like it. Just a week ago you were the hot guy who liked to flirt with me. Now, it feels like I'm falling down a rabbit hole. How is it taking things slow if I'm feeling all these things at once?"

"Well, if we are talking feelings versus actions then this is still slow. Actions, we've done no more than hold hands and talk. Feelings happen when they happen there's no time release on which ones happen when. But since I still have no idea what those feelings are, I'm not sure about what you are talking."

"I can't stop thinking about you. When you're around I feel less cranky and anxious. Even just texting or calling on the phone helps. But when you're not…"

"Okay." Why does that excite me so much? I feel bad that he's so conflicted but to hear that he feels it too makes me unbelievably happy.

"Touching you makes me feel better, calmer. Like I need to touch you, so I'll stay in control. Just like earlier, you made me focus. Because you were so close and touching me. That's what brought me back. The mantra helped to clear my head some, but the rest was you. This week after your call with Corey, holding your hand, hugging you that was as much for me as it was for you."

My mouth opened and closed with no words being produced.

"And now I've freaked you out."

"No, you didn't."

He gave me a blank stare.

"Okay, you did. But not because of what you said. But… do you think you're the only one that feels that way or reacts that way? Do you think this is one sided?"

"Really?"

I rolled my eyes fighting the urge to laugh. Sometimes he was just too adorable for words.

"Did you think I just picked you to like at random because I can make you blush." I grinned. He laughed.

"I have seen you around school for a while before I actually talked to you. I've seen how you are with your friends; how supportive and helpful you are. I've seen how smart you are. And once I got to know you I started to see how amazing you are. All those things you feel and the way you react is the same for me." I reached for his hand again because it's been too long.

"I like touching you. Scratch that, I love touching you. I hate not seeing you even for a few hours. But we can't be attached at the hip. So, I deal and look forward to the next time I see you. I feel better when you're around, less worried, less stressed, just less everything. I'm happy to go at your pace because I know it will be worth it whenever something does actually happen between us. But trust me if I thought you were ready for it now I would jump in with both feet."

"I guess I didn't really think about it. I've been in my own head so much lately. I guess I just figured since you had more experience with this-."

"Wait, back up. I've been out longer, but as far as relationships no. I've been practically held hostage for the last six years. Granted when I was finally let free I flirted with a few guys and even kissed one or two-."

"What? Who?" he demanded his face contorting to something like anger.

"Jealous?" I asked smirking.

"No." he answered too quickly.

"Nobody you know. This was before I enrolled in school. I was free for the first time in years, even though they were keeping tabs on me. I wanted to test the waters. Before, I knew I was gay only in theory. My point though, is that this is just as new to me as it is to you. We'll figure it out together."

Clear blue eyes looked at me and he smiled.

"Okay, together."