Stupidity at its Finest

Waking up, I immediately noticed who could only be Aqua sitting in front of me. Now, I know she is hot, but she is so stupid that I don't care. I was hoping that since I am here, she might give me a cheat ability, but I wasn't about to get my hopes up.

"Hmm, oh, a cosplayer NEET. I am the great goddess Aqua!"

"Sure, what is this place?" I had to act the right amount of stupid so she wouldn't question this situation.

"You have two options," she said, completely ignoring my question. "You can go to heaven and bask in the sun all day, but there is no TV, and no physical bodies, so no sex."

"Go on," I already knew all this, where was the real world fast forward?

"You could also get your memories wiped and get reincarnated, but that's not much better is it?"

"It isn't," I said, nodding along. "What do you suggest I do then Goddess-sama?"

Perfect, she wouldn't question a thing. Now that I think about it, she is so dumb, I probably didn't need to go through all of this.

"You play games right?" She said, sounding like she was talking to a dog. I nodded along with what she was saying. "Then you should choose to go to this world! We are taking people from other worlds, letting them keep their memories, giving them a cheat item, and then sending them to fight the Demon king! There is only a 5% chance of your brain going poof."

"Sure, let's do this."

"Cool, just pick a paper from the table and go away."

I looked through some of the papers and saw some that looked decent, but they were all kind of, eh. They all had side effects that I didn't want to deal with. Like this sword, that did double damage to dragons, but attracted dragons. It seemed to make it the ultimate dragon killing sword, but what if I didn't want to fight dragons. They would just keep coming for me.

"Could I make my own power?"

"Sure, just make sure it's not too big."

"Could I have control over waves?" I was doing this. No one could stop me. I felt absolutely insane.

"Dumb power, but sure just go step into the magic circle." HAHAHAHA get scammed you 5th rate goddess.

I stood in the circle and watched as who could only be Kazuma got dropped into the chair as I was teleported into the shitty world that was Konosuba.

Opening my eyes to the busy street, I quickly searched around for any sort of reflective surface. Wandering aimlessly, I stumbled across a shop that had glass. I looked at the sign and laughed. The sign read Magic Item Shop. I started to wheeze as I sucked down air. My luck must've been off the charts for this place to be my first stop. It had a glass window, so I looked at my new self.

I now had red eyes and pale skin like a basic bitch overpowered harem protag. I had purple shoulder length hair, and rabbit ears, and the suit that Reisen wore in the Touhou games, but instead of a skirt, I got dress pants. I quickly realized I was also much shorter than I was before, standing at 4'6".

Reaching into my pockets and praying to Shion Yorigami, that I wouldn't be as broke as her, I found a money pouch with 10,000 of the currency here. Eris I think it was called. Walking into the shop, I kept in mind that 1,000 eris was needed to get an adventure ID license thingy and 500 was needed for food. My budget was therefore 8,500 eris. As I entered the shop, a bell rang and I heard a voice shout in excitement. Then Wiz ran into sight. I mentally gulped and my mouth went dry. Sure, in the anime she was really hot, but in real life, holy shit was she hot. Praying to Kanako Yasaka for strength, I smiled.

"Hello, I am Wiz, welcome to my shop. Would you like to purchase anything?"

That amount of cuteness should be considered a deadly weapon and be illegal.

"Ah, I'm Reisen Udongein Inaba, and I guess I could buy something."

"Reisen, an interesting name. Come here! I have good magic items!"

Wiz grabbed my arm, smashed it into her chest, and then dragged me deeper into her shop. The shop was interesting. But it also seemed like a death trap. I knew of some of the things that were stored here. Potions that explode when opened or shaked, a sword that reflects damage you do back on yourself, and other such hazards to my health.

"Here we have our explosive potions!" speak of the devil.

"How do they work?"

"Well, if you open or shake them, they explode!" She seems way too happy about that.

"I don't think I'll need one right now. Maybe later."

"Aww…"

"Actually, could I get directions to the adventure guild? This is my first day in Axel."

"Sure! Go outside, make a right, go down two streets then make a left. It's a big building with banners."

"Thank you Wiz! You know, you're not that bad for a lich."

"Eep! How?"

Time to bullshit.

"I could hear your lack of heartbeat."

Wiz looked confused, then realization dawned across her face.

"I thought those were fake! The rabbit people have been extinct for a while."

Roll for bullshit…

"Maybe down here. But I'm a Lunar Rabbit."

Wiz's eyes widened. It appears I have rolled a nat. 20.

"See ya Wiz!"

Trolling complete, I walked out the shop and made my right. Walking down the street I passed a dude with blonde hair, looking like a basic bitch isekai hero, walking with two girls hanging off him. It appears I have run into the KOA man. I never bothered to learn his name, because he was a footnote character in the anime. Walking past him I made it into the guild. I immediately walked up to the front desk. Luna was there, looking bored out of her mind. As I walked towards her, she looked at me, and then noticed my ears. She looked a little surprised but didn't mention anything.

"Hello, I'm Luna. the receptionist of the adventurers guild. Can I help you with anything today?"

I kept my eyes focussed on hers and tried to let them stray.

"Yes, I would like to register to be an adventurer."

Luna gave a smile, "That would be 1,000 eris."

I passed over the money required and Luna brought out a crystal ball. Focusing on the fact that my new name was Reisen Udongein Inaba I put my hand over the crystal and it glowed a brilliant red. Several adventurers looked interested in what was going on and made comments about the color. The light died down and Luna pulled my card out.

"Lets see,, above average strength, stamina and vitality. Your wisdom and intelligence are amazingly high, and your luck is average. You could be an arch-wizarch, or an arch-priest!"

I smirked. It appears my race change did a lot to change me from a regular human in highschool to this.

"Let me see the card real quick."

I looked over the card and then laughed. Luna looked concerned for a second and looked over my shoulder at the card. She looked at the class and saw it was pre-set.

"What in the world is a Lunatic Mage? And why does your race display question marks?"

"I do believe I never introduced myself," I said, still slightly laughing. "I am Reisen Udongein Inaba, a Lunar Rabbit and Lunatic Mage."

The card shifted and the question marks displayed Lunar Rabbit. I laughed internally and turned the card over to the skills. I had 10 starting points and saw there were three trees. Danmaku(2), Lunar Arts(5), and Rabbit Fighting(5). Selecting Danmaku I suddenly knew how to shoot bullets. Two new options appeared on the card: Spell Card(7), Flight (15). Selecting Spell Card, I got a rush of information as I got my first spell card. Wave Sign " Mind Shaker.

Looking over the quest board I selected giant frog hunting. I wanted to know how I would stack up against the local menaces of this world.

Walking across the plains, I contemplated my predicament. Obviously, me being here would derail canon. So I decided to not use my future knowledge too much. Oh sure, maybe I would use it to kill the demon king generals early, or steal good party members from Kazuma. I figure, I get Yunyun, and Darkness and I'll be set. Megumin might be ok, but she's a gimmick pocket nuke with no real practical use in everyday quests. A one time use at best, and a liability at worst. Sure, Darkness may be a liability, but she's a durable meat shield. I don't need her to hit things, That's what Yunyun is for. Frowning a bit, I realized how Sociopathic I was being without my meds. Oh well.

Finally spotting a giant frog I shot a danmaku bullet at it. The bullet hit and the frog stood there for a bit before turning to me. Frowning, I shot more in a straight line towards the frog. After about 50 bullets, the frog fell over dead. Looking over my mana, I found that each bullet used a percentage, of a percentage of my mana. It made sense in hindsight. The bullets were made to be spammed in the hundreds. Looking at my card, I found that I had leveled up and my stats went up by a slight bit. I also had 2 more skill points, which could buy me nothing.

I looked out over the plains and shot more bullets at a frog that was just hopping out of the ground. Killing it, I went about, continuing in my long range slaughter of frogs. Killing all five, I decided I should try out my wave control.

Everything became tinted red, and I could SEE. The waves were everywhere. Some moved slower, some were smaller and some were dangerous to touch. I got an instinctive knowledge on how to use my power and grew a feral grin. It was so easy. Just moving the waves took no effort. Small changes in color, sound, and intensity took but a thought. Changing the wave completely took some time, but it was worth it. I had a cancer beam of UV C at my command because UV light and radiation is waves! I looked towards a frog and realized I couldn't see the waves inside it. There goes my plan of scrambling brains.

Using my power over waves, I made the frog think another frog was a goat. I laughed as the frog tried to eat the other frog. Firing danmaku at the frogs they both died and my laughter died down.

Turing from my successful hunt, I walked towards town.

In town, I ran into Mitsurugi Kyouya (I finally learned his name!). He looked at me in anger before speaking.

"You are aware that dressing as an extinct group is highly disrespectful right?" He reached to pull my ears before I smacked his hand.

"Maybe the rabbit people down here are extinct, human, (gotta sell the schtick) but the lunar rabbits are far from gone." I sneered at him as I said this and pulled my adventurers card out and showed him the race section.

"Ah, my apologies. I just thought you were some sort of cosplayer."

"What is a cosplayer, some sort of sick person that dresses as dead people?" I said, being a complete hypocrite. I was cosplaying as Reisen.

Kyouya looked vaguely offended but calmed down. "No, they are people from my hometown that dress as famous people."

I used my wave control to give the impression that I was giving him an incredulous look while I doubled over laughing. It took a bit but I eventually got myself under control. I stood in the area I was in before stopping the illusion.

"What is your name? I am Mitsurugi Kyouya."

"Reisen Udongein Inaba."

Kyouya looked confused before realization dawned upon his face. "You're from Touhou! But aren't you a girl?"

Not wanting to give in I gave a look of confusion. "What's Touhou? And no, I am not a girl."

Kyouya stopped before asking more questions. "You came from Gensokyo right? You were part of Kaguya's group!"

I made the look of confusion grow. "Never heard of anything you are talking about. I'd get your head checked before adventuring."

I side stepped him and went on my way to the adventures guild. Walking into the guild, I turned in the quest and got paid my 5,000 eris. I got an extra 1,000 for the two extra frogs I killed. I sat down at a table, bought an order of frog legs and contemplated what I would be doing. I really need some sort of aggro to face stronger opponents. Darkness was my preferred person, but I realized that a large part of why Darkness joined Kazuma was because he got his entire group slimed by frogs. Considering I didn't get slimed, I doubted that I could get Darkness to join my party.

Humming slightly I started to put an ad together. I had no real art skill, so I cheated. I put the illusion of the ad I wanted on the paper, and then traced it. Removing the illusion, it looked decent.

Party members wanted

Intelligence required, I will not work with idiot humans.

If you are interested, meet me at my table in the morning.

Satisfied for now I went to the inn, saw how much a room cost, and then promptly left to go find the stable. I eventually found it, and sat in an empty stall. It wasn't the best, but it could have been much worse. I burrowed under the hay and tried to sleep when a person laid down on top of me. I rose to my full and impressive height. There I spotted Kazuma and Aqua looking confused.

"You laid down on me!" I said accusingly pointing at Aqua.

Aqua paled and started sputtering while backing away. I realized I could make this more terrifying and proceeded with my plan.

"You must accept the consequences." I said darkly while activating my Lunatic Eyes, causing them to glow.

Aqua screamed and started to run while I crossed my arms. I deactivated my eyes and started to try and burrow under the hay again, when Kazuma tried to talk to me.

"Hey, sorry about my idiot party member, I'm Kazuma."

"Reisen Udongein Inaba, I want to sleep."

"Fair," was all Kazuma could say as I finished burrowing and then went to sleep.