Chapter 15: So Please… Death

The world was on fire, despite it's contrarian surroundings. The sky was an iron gray, festooned with thick clumps of black clouds laced with purple lightning, pulsing with booming thunder. The air was angry-hot, as if the molecules themselves were burning to ash, and the constant peppering of Alter Neptune's thunderbolts wasn't helping any.

But fuck if Jaune knew what to do about it

It was the most he could manage—staying alive—though that became a more tenuous question over time. A gush of stone and dust pelted his face like the discharge of a woodchipper, as Jaune dodged the spear and weathered the result of it's destructive wake. There was mighty hissing as a tall wave of water came down on him, directed by a slash of Alter-Neptune's arm. Jaune attempted to outpace it, but the wave quite literally hit the ground running, and at speeds he wasn't prepared for. It caught him the back like a battering ram, bowling him double over, swallowing him into a great body of dark water. It passed quickly enough, leaving Jaune on the ground soaked straight to his underclothes and spent for breath. Sizzling, crackling, Jaune dived away at the mere sound, and was right too. A lightning spear stabbed into the spot he'd been laying and shattered the roof-ground in a splash of rubble and water.

The aftershock caught Jaune on the retreat, and he was tossed forward like a flicked coin, tumbling away. His armored fingers dug into the ground to stop himself, then pushed himself to his knees as he cringed at a burn on the back of his neck. It had only been too close that he avoided that blast.

The fight had just started and he was already losing. Badly.

I need to find an opening, but where? Alter-Neptune did not give him the luxury to figure it out. He rose high in a towering waterspout, twisting around him as he raised his hand to the black clouds. Purple streaks danced from up high, coalesced together, then struck at the Emperor's fingers like he was a human lightning rod. The Alter gave him a smug wink.

Jaune raised his shield. "Reflect!"

He watched the lightning hiss and claw at the edges of his shell, but that was all it managed to do. Took a lot out of me though, it's much easier to take physical hits than these elemental attacks. He wondered why that was the case, then remembered if he'd listened to Aunt Peach, he might have learned that at some point. Now there's no guarantee he'd be alive to learn anything.

Roaring waters chomped down in Jaune like the maw of an Apex. Thankfully,he'd dodged in time, but the misty spray of the resulting rainfall pelted Jaune's head. You never think to wear a helmet until your head is at risk of being broken open. Jaune swerved away from a crash of lightning, skittering across the huge rooftop like a skittering bug. A chain of stabbing, exploding, raging water, and the odd taunt kept Jaune going, surviving. He brought his shield up as a wave crashed down right in front of him, sending the peak gushing back up, and the wave itself rushing under, swelling above the knees. Not strong enough to bring him down, but he soon realized it wasn't supposed to be.

Something dragged him down, made his head burst with light as the back of it kissed the ground. He heard crackling, rolled out of the way, saw the trident stab into the ground. He rolled again, scrambled to his feet just in time to summon his shield again, and protect himself from a spray of rock as Alter Neptune dragged the blade back out.

With a sneer, Alter Neptune lunged at him with a stab, and Jaune swung wide without thinking.

It was like spiking a shuttlecock with a sledgehammer.

Alter-Neptune howled as Jaune overpowered him. And believe me, you aren't the only one surprised. The strength of Jaune's swing was so strong that it whipped his opponent's arm back, left him clutching painfully at his elbow, and that fresh ringing of a clash of metal still humming around them. What do you know, I'm stronger than him.

Jaune weaved past Alter-Neptune's follow-up stab, found an opening, and dashed the flat of his shield across his face. It spun the Alter around like a twisted chicken neck, left him fumbling for sure footing. Jaune added another blow. And again. And again. A great inferno raged inside as he rushed Alter Neptune down, avoiding a wide stream of lightning by flipping right over it, then landing a mighty hammer-drop that might have pitched Alter-Neptune on his face if it had landed. Instead, the creature struggled away, gave his trident a threatening point, called on his lightning once more.

Jaune was too quick. A series of cracks and bashes, metal on bone, over and over, Jaune refusing to let up even as he lost control of his breath. He spun under the snarling retaliation of the Alter's sparking trident, then came back like a boxer for the uppercut. He felt the blow himself, as if he'd been hit in the teeth with a bat, vibrations shocking through his arm. A great gonging sound rippled through the air as he caught Alter Neptune under the chin and sent him rolling backward like a runaway can.

Jaune rubbed his arm across his bloody nose, rubbing a smear of blood across his face. Good an opening as any. Time to make it count.

A rush of confidence swelled through him. Shooting far and high and deep and everywhere like a supernova. Neptune had finally realized something. Why the hell was he running away? Why was he taking this treatment? It wasn't fair. None of it was. He was so fucking sick of this crap. Sick of feeling like a failure. Sick of not being good enough for his father.

No more.

"W-whoa, what's wrong, man?" Sun called after him.

Neptune hadn't even noticed he'd broken out of Sun's grip until he was storming down the sidewalk. Looking nowhere but forward. His chest burned like hell, he was tired and terrified and a seed within him wanted to just walk away and never face his father again.

That was why he had to do it now. Before he could change his mind. His fists balled up, his lips pursed like he was ready to curse up a storm, and a blinding fury long dormant finally awakened.

His baseball bat was right up in his room, he remembered that.

He'd need it.

Cinder could have intervened, but she was having a hard time getting over her shock.

The masonry from the corner of the parapet shot into the air like it had been flicked by a giant finger, and what remained was a smoldering wound, hot a hissing in the rain. Only it wasn't raining. Not really.

Alter-Neptune brought down a waterspout with a two-handed swipe of his trident, the water twisting and thrashing like an angry snake. It crashed down hard, booming, gushing with vengeance, The Knight having jumped right over it as he conjured a pulsing white shield around himself to ward off a lance of pure lightning. He was of the Blessed Element, then. She wouldn't have guessed, for it surely didn't suit him.

On the other side of the wave now, The Knight moved with greater speed than the Alter, and it seemed they both knew it too. The former rushed him down, swinging wide and far even with the pathetic reach of his shield, somehow forcing the Alter on the backfoot. The Alter meanwhile showed a surge of panic and hurried back, conjuring any and every element he could. High waves, avoided. A chain of sizzling electricity, blocked. The Alter even raised a water wall, but Jaune leapt back for some distance, reared up on his toes, then shot straight at it like a sniper round. Left the ground cracked where he left it, a pale streak in his path. He punched right through, winded back his shield, then delivered a blow so harsh that it sent the Alter spinning backward.

She couldn't believe she was seeing it. A novice with little more experience than fighting a few Grimm, fighting seemingly on par with an Alter. Granted, a rather weak one, but a trainee needed at least a year of experience. She certainly had. Yet here Knight was, closing the distance on the Alter, jumping away from exploding plasma, exploding water orbs, and every other creation the Alter could come up with. A spear hit Jaune in the chest, but it didn't keep him down. He roared like an animal and pushed on through, flying over a lapping wave, and bearing down on Alter-Neptune like he'd sworn due vengeance.

"Who on Remnant trained you?" She watched him for a long moment. "Or does it even have anything to do with your training?"

The Alter got a clean hit with a wave, bowling Jaune over and allowing himself to get distance. He summoned a twisting trail of water below him and rode it along the circumference of the rooftop, spears of lightning floating readily over his head. Cinder had to wonder what that'd feel like in her apprenticeship, surrounded on all sides by powers she wasn't close to understanding. The confusion, the terror, the madness of a million things happening all at once.

The Knight, if he knew fear, he didn't show it. Not even as he was pelted with chains of exploding bubbles that kept him moving. Not even when his Reflect shell shattered against a hail of thunderbolts. He was endlessly bombarded, knocked down, tumbling away, being swallowed in violent fiery explosions.

His armor was bright hot when he emerged from the black cloud, a veil of ash dust clinging to his clothes and skin. Looked like a devil out of hell. He hurled his shield like a boomerang right as Alter-Neptune turned his way. Cinder heard that painful sound of steel against flesh, dropping the Alter off his perch like a bird sniped by a rock. The Knight was already halfway on him.

It reminded her of when he'd snatched her by the collar. Radiating a fury she hadn't seen since… well, since her stepmother, honestly. And weren't those some memories to recall. The sheer, unyielding rage which couldn't have been so altruistic as to be unselfish. Something was driving this mad child to fight. Beyond the simple matter of life and death. No matter how many times the Alter knocked him down, he clawed back up.

She could have intervened. Could have decided the fight and instigated the Despair into the Alter. It would've been easier than snapping her fingers.

Cinder found a seat on a broken piece of rubble, rested her elbows on her knees, and her chin on her interlocked hands. She felt herself smirk. No, she wouldn't do a thing. She wanted to see what happened.

Neptune had never kicked a door open before. But it wasn't like the movies. His leg hurt like hell now, a great stab of pain was running through his leg. He pushed on anyway though, even with the new limp, and didn't once stop short.

He saw his father on the couch, now looking shocked up at him, red in the eyes. Or eye. One was swollen purple and half-closed, then the entire right side of his face a lump of bloat. Then saw Weiss and her supervisor sat across from him, Weiss standing up at his entrance, also teary-eyed. "Neptune."

He had a lot of questions, but saw no reason to have them answered. Not yet. Neptune turned to his father, who somehow looked so frail and vulnerable that he felt a spike of guilt. But he swallowed hard, found that surge of fury, and said what needed to be said. "You love my trophies so much, Dad? You love how accomplished I make you feel? Is that it?"

His father stood. "Son, I—"

"Answer me!" This wasn't him. This wasn't his voice. He'd never tell or command his father of anything. Yet here he was, doing it right in front of Weiss. Where had this rage even come from? "You can say it. Say you only care about me if I'm fulfilling your dreams. Or do I not even deserve the truth?"

Weiss stepped forward. "Neptune, you have to listen. We—"

"I'm done listening!" He roared. His voice cracked a bit but he couldn't even feel embarrassed by it. His neck hurt as though the veins were popping, he wanted so badly to hit something, and all he saw was his dad who he loved so much, standing there, hurting him.

"I don't have my mom anymore. I don't have my girlfriend, or my friends, or my team or anything. All I have is you!" Neptune didn't resist a sob. "You love those trophies so much? Fine."

Neptune dashed into the kitchen, heard everyone calling out to him. Even Sun. He pulled open a bottom cabinet, fumbled out a big black trash bag, and rushed upstairs. He heard his dad calling his name, and all it did was get a year out of him.

He flew down the hallway, pushed open his father's door, and eyed that fucking shelf like it was his worst enemy. All his accomplishments, broidered into history and gold. Years of hard work and passion and love. All trash.

He dragged them into the bag. First one by one, then two at a time. There was yelling behind him, a mess of it, but he ignored it all. Someone grabbed his shoulder, but he shrugged them off. And once every trophy was gone, he pushed past his father in the doorway. He snatched the bat from his room, then hurried downstairs and outside into the raw cold. Felt good, great even.

And so would this.

"Son, calm down!" His dad came hurrying after him, but Neptune didn't make him chase for long. He dropped the bag on the ground, took the bat in both hands, squeezed it neck-tight, and faced his father. Weiss and Sun standing not far behind him. His father tried to come toward him, hand raised placatingly. "Put it down, Neptune."

"No!" Neptune raised the bat over his head and eyed the bag like he was about to commit murder. His body was trembling like it had never been before, but his head couldn't have been clearer. "Let's see how much you love these trophies now!"

Jaune had stopped thinking. Mostly because his head throbbed like his brain had developed a heartbeat.

It wasn't so loud anymore. He saw Alter-Neptune laying facing him, on his side. His fancy clothes were shredded and damaged, his nostrils had thick black blood pouring out, and his trident lay loose in his weak hand. Jaune imagined he wasn't much better.

The taste of his own blood was so potent that it was like he'd swallowed a cupful of rusty coin juice. The cold air made the harsh burns sting. He could barely take in a breath without sucking water up his nose. Moving anything hurt. Just trying to move hurt. All he wanted to do was stop.

"You're… you're tough, guy…" Alter-Neptune whispered. Jaune wanted to say something back, but his throat was hoarse dry. "Pointless fighting me, you know. There's nothing to take. You should... become my bodyguard or something?"

"Not a chance." Jaune wanted to say, but all he could do was shake his head, cheek scraping against the wet ground.

Alter-Neptune slapped a hand on the ground and slowly eased himself up. All the way until he was hunched on his knees, gasping for breath. He turned to look up at the sky. "If I could, I'd fly away. Get away from everything."

Jaune pushed himself onto his hands, felt blood trickle out of his nose. He watched Alter-Neptune, but found no words to say.

The Alter closed his eyes and chuckled. "And what am I supposed to do? Nothing I have is enough. Not the praise or the girls or the power. My mother doesn't love me, my father doesn't love me. I have no value unless I'm achieving something." His eyes looked a resolute sort of dead and gray, like all his hopes and color had been drained away long ago. "That's why they divorced, isn't it? Because of me? Because I wasn't good enough?"

Dad, where's Mom? A painful memory, one Jaune instinctively tried to fight off.

Alter-Neptune chuckled humorously. "Why am I even telling you? Guess I never had anyone to talk to about it before."

Jaune perched onto one knee. He wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out.

The Alter frowned at him. "What do you want with me? Why are you here?"

Jaune planted his other foot down and staggered up. Nearly pitched over fighting to stay upright. He couldn't summon his shield, not while he clutched his stomach like he needed to hold in his guts. He watched Alter-Neptune from under his brows, and again, said nothing.

His opponent managed to find his footing, using the trident as a crutch to keep himself upright. Harsh angry eyes bored into Jaune's, a torrent of hatred and fury… and hurt. Jaune knew that look, knew it intimately, more personally than anything. Because it was the exact same look he gave himself in the mirror. "What? You can try to kill me but can't answer a question?"

Jaune knew he could answer, knew he probably should, but as he raised his fists and tried to straight his back, he realized he'd said everything he could have already. Words were useless on their own. He unclipped his damaged armor, relished at the freedom, even if the burns still hurt. He couldn't use his semblance anymore, and his shield might be the very thing to bring him down. Fists, it was then. He gave the Alter a weak, bloody smile and a wet crackling shrug. "Not much of a talker."

Jaune rushed him first. He wasn't sure if it was a run or a jog or a staggering gait, but he closed the distance regardless. He twisted out of the way of a stab, scored a punch that left Alter-Neptune visibly stunned. He was at him, again and again, getting him to cough up with a blow to the stomach, then a shriek as he bashed him with a sledgehammer.

"Fuck you!" Alter-Neptune was not as frail as he seemed, for he stumbled back up and avoided Jaune's kick. Let him overextend. Jaune's teeth snapped together as he took a punch, bit into his tongue when he took a second. Saw the world swing in a mass of murk and madness at the third.

Back on the ground again, and it was a damn embarrassment. What would Aunt Peach say if her student failed his first mission? The thought disgusted him. Lose? It was impossible. He'd make sure of it.

It was the sloppiest, most ungraceful fight Jaune had ever been in. And that was quite the accomplishment. They traded blows one-to-one, tripped and fell when they missed, tasted the ground over and over, each time taking longer to get back up. Part of Jaune wanted to smile—no, maybe he actually was—to see that tenacity and spirit that he knew existed in Neptune. Idiot was strong, damn it.

He had to bring that strength out of him.

"Come on you coward! Fight back!"

Alter-Neptune sneered with blind fury. He lunged up, ready to run him right through. That's what Jaune wanted to see. But he was slower than a paraplegic turtle, and Jaune had all the time in the world to right hook the piss out of him.

The world changed. He was in Neptune's yard, somehow. Cold, but hot. He was furious, yet heartbroken, and the world was quiet. He raised a bat above his head, felt a huff of anger leave him as he crushed the bagged trophies at his feet. Heard the satisfying cricks and cracks.

He was Alter-Neptune again, coming right at him. The trident cut Jaune's side and he had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming. He hurled himself through the pain, got him in an uppercut, then a savage punch that flipped the Alter backward.

The yard again. Someone was beside him, the one that stuck with him through it all. They eyed the car. The one he'd been gifted because of all his awards, taken away when he stopped being what his father wanted. Stupid. He didn't care about that hunk of scrap. Oh he'd give the car back alright, with interest.

Goodbye windows, goodbye mirrors, goodbye headlights. All of it was nothing to him now. And with each broken part, Jaune felt his heart break and heal at the same time.

"Who are you!?" Alter-Neptune roared so incredibly that it echoed high into the sky. The storms were calming around them, the atmosphere was changing, and he couldn't understand any of it. Hime leveled his trident, eyes stained with tears, horror deep in his eyes as he lunged at Jaune. "Why won't you leave me alone?!"

Jaune winded his fist back. Ready to dodge and finish him.

Only… he was much too tired. He had nothing left in him. So he let it happen.

The trident prongs stopped halfway under his chest, but he could hardly feel them. Alter-Neptune's hands slipped toward the head of the blade, putting him fully in Jaune's grasp. Perfect chance to punch him, headbutt him, knee him in the groin.

Instead, Jaune hugged him.

Even against his squirming, arms grabbed between their chests, Jaune held on. He'd be damned if he let go. Alter-Neptune stopped struggling soon enough, and all he could do was lay his cheek on Jaune's shoulder.

"You're gonna be okay." He said as he gave him a soft rap on the back. It's what his mother says to him when he was upset. "Shhh. You're gonna be okay, alright?"

Alter-Neptune said nothing, but Jaune heard his sniffles.

Around them, a great darkness came on them. Swirling, snaking, gathering toward them. The despair. The instinctive side told him to stay, to protect him.

He let him go.

The despair snatched at Alter-Neptune's feet like lassos to horses, wrapped around him, coiling and squeezing. Jaune stepped back as he began to panic, watched as the despair formed a steadily growing pool of black, and began pulling the Alter in.

"W-what is this? Let go!" Now his arms were bound, and the Trident vanished in a puff of ionized bubbles. Alter-Neotune looked beggingly at him. "Please, I can't move. I can't get out on my own!"

He could. Jaune had no doubts about that. He gave Neptune the warmest smile he could, an unsaid promise. He'd be alright. He was strong enough to free himself. Jaune could feel it.

"Please, man! I need your help."

No he didn't. Not anymore.

The world shattered into a million pieces, and Jaune dropped right through.

"Shhh, it's okay, son. It's okay…"

Neptune had collapsed to his knees—utterly spent and exhausted. He hadn't wanted to hug his father when he came to him, but fuck he needed something to hold onto.

He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed like he was a newborn baby, screamed out everything he felt into his dad's shoulder. How long had it been since he'd hugged him? And why, even after everything he'd been put through, did he melt into it like it was all he'd ever wanted?

It was all he wanted.

Someone hugged him from behind, and Sun didn't often wear perfume. It felt so good to be in Weiss's arms again, and Sun showed he was still there by patting his arm the way he did. Everyone he loved—all here for him. How could he have ever thought he wasn't loved? It seemed so silly now.

"It's okay," his dad sobbed. And he hadn't heard his father cry since the divorce. Since everything fell apart. "You're going to be okay."

And Neptune felt, for the first time in a long time, that he really would be.

If he'd dived from the other end of the pool, would he have landed on the roof of the museum? Jaune kept wondering that.

That was where he'd landed, right at the edge of the pool on the far end, arm dangling into the water. He'd have lifted it out, but he didn't have the strength. He didn't have the strength to do anything. Not while he was in so much pain.

Not a smart idea to take that trident, not a smart idea at all. There was no way to describe the feeling. Nothing beyond and pulsing, burning throb as if the wounds themselves were sobbing in agony. Just his body trying to heal itself, probably. Wouldn't be able to do it in time though. Not even close.

He saw through one murky eye his blood spilling into the pool, thinning out far and black as rot. Kind of funny. Actually, no, not really.

He wondered then why he was laughing. Granted it came out more as a gurgle, a splutter of morbid humor that he couldn't resist. This was what dying felt like. This is what dying in pain felt like. It was unbearable, unthinkable, even the greatest of bastards in the world didn't deserve a fate like this.

But he'd done good, hadn't he?

The price of doing good is nothing, and everyone likes free things. He remembered those words even now, from some book he'd read. Not that good of a quote really—a little self-congratulatory. Strangely vainglorious. But he'd taken the saying to heart, created his own meaning out of it. If you can help someone, you do it. You act. And you did it not to gain something, but to give to someone else. And maybe one day when you're in trouble, someone will come to your rescue. Probably not the best advice given he was bleeding out late at night alone, but he'd helped his friend. Neptune would get better now. He'd done good.

"Did it Mom… I did it…" It didn't quite come out that way, sounding much more like he was choking on his own tongue—or maybe that was the blood—but it wasn't like anyone was around to hear him. No one to help him. No one to save him.

A streak of wet ran down one eye, trailed off the bridge of his nose. Gods, the pain was too much. Please, let him die. Let it be soon. It's all he wanted. To disappear and never feel any more pain ever again. If the Brothers were there, would they please just end it? No more pain. Please, no more.

His breaths trickled to weak gasps and his vision grew murkier, darker, flickering between reality and fantasy. Did he have any regrets? Only that he wanted to tell his dad and Aunt Peach that this wasn't their fault. He was an awful son, and awful nephew, an awful brother and friend. He didn't belong in this world. He made his peace with that long ago.

Jaune's eyes began to close, and the pain began to wash away, and his mind was clear. For the first time in so very long, he was happy. Fully and completely. Please world or God or fate, give him death.

So he could see his mom again.

There's a life lesson somewhere in this chapter. If you hate your dad, just break the symbolic representations of his projections of success and then hug him. It works, I promise.

I thought this chapter would be two but it ended up working better as one, which means we've got one more chapter until the Neptune arc is completed. Its been a journey, and while the story certainly isn't over, this is the first 'ending' we've gotten. Hopefully this chapter isn't too dark. It's supposed to be, but hopefully cathartic at the same time. We'll see how it turns out.

I do have one announcement related to Redemption Arc, another fic of mine, but I won't explain here. Check my profile if you want to know the status of that fic and stuff.

Thanks for reading and see you next time.

ISA