People forgot, no that wasn't true, not many people knew that Luffy wasn't always a happy person. No, the only ones who knew what Luffy was truly like were those who lived in Foosha and the Red-Haired Pirates. He was raised alone and grew alone and it made him vicious, and angry. He knew how to hunt and forage, to survive and kill before he could even talk.

It was only after Shanks, the gum-gum fruit, the bandits… the lesson that ended with a missing limb did Luffy truly change. A year with Shanks, in which he had learned love, joy and the taste of freedom,did he truly begin to be happy.

But the darkness he grew with, the anger inherited by Dragon was always there, always lurking in the depths of Luffy's mind no matter what he did to hide it. To squash it down.

His brothers helped. Ace and Sabo and their brand of love. They kept him sane and grounded; they made him fight harder against the rage that he wanted to unleash upon the world because of how unfair it all was.

Sabo's death was the first crack against the cage they helped create.

Ace's love and devotion after that soothed it but it was like applying paper to a window during a gale.

Since leaving Dawn, since becoming a Pirate there has only been a few times where Luffy allowed that anger to rise. He found a new focal point to direct it, protecting his Nakama. Between Arlong, Don Krieg, Alabasta… saving Robin and everything after that…

His eyes slipped closed at the thought of Ace, at Marineford. His anger burned bright like the sun in the depths of Impel Down, but his energy was sapped due to the poisons, the injections, the hunger… It cost him Ace… his exhaustion cost him his big brother.

With Ace's death, the foundation crumbled further…

And when Luffy thought he could not go on, he was reminded of his crew. His Nakama who needed him, who loved him just like he loved them. He used their memory, that love to build another foundation to hold the cage of the beast that resided within.

Amazon Lily was nearly destroyed in his rampage…

It was still a struggle to contain his rage and keep his joyful persona, every day a war of wills the likes he hasn't had to do since he was younger. He was tired, so very tired. All through the two years of training, Punk Hazard and then…

Then Sabo came back… lining the cage with black steel and seastone.

He was happy once more, the lessons of Shanks, the love of his Nakama, the strength of his brother… Torao…

No matter what life threw at him from then on, the beast was caged. He used his anger like a finely sharpened blade when needed when Sanji was taken, when Wano happened and taking down Kaido.

Finding out about his devil fruit and that he was Joyboy was an odd experience. Two halves of him always struggling but now it made sense, you couldn't have the sun without darkness, for the sun would have no reason to shine and boy did Luffy shine.

He laughed all the way to Laugh Tale. He laughed when he was crowned King of the Pirates, and laughed even harder when Shanks told him he carried the previous crown with him all along. He spent the following years in near bliss while he watched his Nakama achieve their dreams, Zoro beating Mihawk, Nami finally finishing her map of the world, and Usopp becoming a brave warrior.

Franky cried the day they crossed over Reverse Mountain along with Brook who was reunited with Laboon and Crocus, sharing the last song of the Rumbar Pirates. Chopper was able to gain enough knowledge to cure any illness put towards him and Sanji had discovered parts of the All Blue.

Life was good… until…

" I'm sorry Luffy-sama… Sabo was caught in Mary Geoise by the Cipher Pol… They…" Koala trailed off, tears pooling in her eyes as she held out the battered and scorched top hat of his big brother.

The day that Luffy was told that Sabo was dead was the day the Pirate King vanished. No one could find him, not his crew, not his husband, no ally or even his adopted father. None could find Luffy. Two weeks into their search they finally got news, Mary Geoise was no more.

What was once the holy land was now a crater, another crack in the Red Line that merged the seas.

Another Nightmare was created.

The world came to a stop when the news was released, the image of the Pirate King of Joyboy larger than life, fire burning in his eyes that were shaded by the scorched top hat and a shark-like smile as he slammed his fist down into the earth was forever immortalised in ink and memory.

All those who knew Luffy could do was cry. All Shanks could see as he stared at the image was the angry boy who fought him on everything, who faced bandits, who raged and screamed… who he had thought was long gone.

X

Luffy coughed as he staggered forward, hand coming up to press against his chest. His breath was ragged, and his body screamed with each beat of his unruly heart. The city of Mary Geoise burned behind him in the distance as he tried to rig the small stolen ship.

His time was coming to an end, he knew it before today, he knew it a year ago when he saw the smouldering embers of his vivre card and collected every piece. The toll he paid in Impel Down years ago finally coming to collect.

Ten years he had given up and back then he didn't care, not if it cost him Ace but it was moot in the end. Not that he would change it. It didn't help with all the damage he put his body through after that. He should have told someone, should have told his crew and his husband but how could he? They would have put their dreams on hold to save him and that was something he didn't want to do.

Something he couldn't do.

Call him selfish, call him cruel…

Luffy was just tired. He was tired of the ache, the fighting, the loss.

He had achieved his life's dream; he had achieved so much and yet… and yet…

"ANCHOR!" Shank's voice cracked across the silent ocean where he had been drifting for who knows how long, so lost in his thoughts. "HONGO!"

Luffy could feel hands on him, could feel the steady warmth of his father's Haki wash over him bringing a smile, the first real smile he had given since the news of Sabo's death.

"Luffy! Anchor, stay with me okay, keep your eyes open. You need to stay awake till Hongo can look you over." Shanks pleaded as Ben and Yassop carried his son over to the Red Force where Hongo was waiting. "Someone go and get a hold of his crew and Law!"

Panic swirled violently within Shanks as his fingers struggled to feel the pulse of his son, it fluttered weakly under the pads of his fingers no matter how much Shanks shifted his grip to find a better position. Luffy looked pale, paler than in his Gear 5 form, sickly almost and covered head to toe in grime and blood.

Two weeks of Luffy being unaccounted for, two weeks of who knows what his son had gotten up to until the news broke.

"Don't… Don't bother…" Luffy wheezed, coughing softly as he struggled to bat away Hongo. "I can't be saved."

"Don't say that Luffy, please, we can fix this." Shanks choked out as they placed him on the medical bed.

Luffy chuckled but it sounded wet, broken. "My time is up… the price I paid in Impel Down to help save Ace is due."

"What… What price?" Fear the likes Shanks hasn't felt since he was younger gripped his heart. Not since the day Luffy had been taken before his very eyes, not since the day he had paid the price for his Son's life with an arm.

Black eyes met red. "Iva-san… I was badly wounded by Magellan…" Ice slithered up the spine of everyone that was in the room. "Iva could heal me with hormones… for a price… one I was all too happy to pay."

"Please no…" Shanks whispered, begging. He knew Ivankov's devil fruit powers, knew the rumours behind it too and the risks that it caused when using particular injections.

"Ten years of my life… Ten years and after what I just did…" Luffy trailed off with a wince, body spasming as he gasped for breath, blood spilling from his lips in rivulets. Hongo quickly rushed around and did all he could to ease Luffy's suffering, Benn helping Luffy to sit forward to spit out the blood that seemed to do all it's best to suffocate him.

Shanks felt the tears run down his cheeks as he watched it all, as he heard the suffering of his kid. His kid who was nearly thirty but still a kid in his eyes.

"I left a message for my crew on the tone dials… left Law one too… can you…" Luffy wheezed as he stared up at Shanks.

"Of course, of course." Shanks breathed out, swallowing harshly.

Luffy smiled wide before looking around, taking in the faces of those who had helped him become the man he was today. Who helped him tame the beast that raged within, "Thank you all for loving me. For teaching me joy."

"Anchor." Benn choked out, pulling Luffy tight to his chest, careful of the wounds. His eyes remained locked on Shanks who was breaking before him, a sight he hadn't seen since they first met, since the loss of Uta… Luffy was another of their kid dying and they couldn't stop it. "Kid please, let us try to help."

"Don't make me lose another kid, Anchor, please, not you too." Shanks pleaded desperately, vision blurring. "Please, son."

"I'm sorry Dad." Luffy wheezed, hand clenched tight around Shank's own, a grin pulling at his lips like it always did when Shanks called him son. With his waning strength, he pulled his crown to him, placing it weakly back atop his father's head. "I'm sor…"

With a final wheeze, Luffy went lax in Benn's hold, grin still firmly in place and eyes unseeing.

Regret was the last thing Luffy felt as his vision faded, regret for not saving Ace, for not being by Sabo's side in his ever-lasting crusade, and for all the pains that he caused his Nakama. He regretted leaving Law without a word, without telling him 'I Love You' one last time but most of all he regretted causing Shanks to watch his last kid die before him.

The Haki-filled scream that left Shank's mouth the moment Luffy breathed his last rippled across the ocean for miles, ripping through the seas and sky with force of a mournful regent of a king once again.

X

Within one blink and the next Luffy snapped his eyes open, heart lurching and stomach falling as he took in the surroundings before him. Ice-cold air, the smell of the ocean, and war roared past him as he plummeted down to the ground.

Screams of those he had not seen in years, those who had lost their battles after Raftel. Buggy, Ivankov… Crocodile… Jinbe's screams in his ears once more.

His arms snapped out, grabbing his Nakama within his grasp, wincing at wounds old and new as he felt his body expand, lowering them at a more sedate pace than the sudden plummet into the gaping maw of the ocean surrounded by ice.

"What?" He breathed in disbelief the moment his feet hit the slanted deck of their fallen warship from Impel Down, his eyes locked on Ace in the distance, kneeling and head bowed.

But alive.

"What is this?"

How am I here? How am I alive? The thoughts swarm through his brain like a whip as he staggered, hand going out to clutch Jinbe who rushed to his side. His other hand clutched his chest, fingers hitting smooth skin instead of a jagged scar that was a reminder.

Nika's heart beat furiously, his Haki rippling off Luffy in tiny waves.

Somehow, he had returned. Somehow he was given a chance to save his brother be it the last flashes of his life or a true second chance… either way Luffy was going to fix one of his lifes Regrets and the Marines wouldn't know what hit them.

He is the Pirate King after all.

With a wide D grin, he threw his head back and laughed, wild and joyful, manic.

He let the cage crumble around his anger, let the chains of his Haki snap and when he looked back towards where his brother waited. He let the beast free.

Wrote this in a delirious haze... hope it makes sense but ehhhhh...