Reversal of Fortune: Chapter 35: Inglorious Firings

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12; 7:45 AM
BACKYARD, LOUD HOUSE

As Lucy woke up, she rubbed her eyes before peeking her head out of the doghouse. She was stunned to find a cloud-covered, yet clearly sunlit, sky. which, when combined with the chatter coming from the Loud house, likely meant that her family was already eating breakfast. Lucy licked her lips before slowly picking herself off the ground. Her fitful sleep the previous night had left her groggy, dehydrated, and smelling bad. Lucy groaned in pain with every step she took, muscle cramps and dehydration overwhelming her. Her butt felt like it was on fire as she tiredly slumped to the backyard's door with a sullen look on her face. When she knocked on it, the chatter from inside immediately stopped.

Through hushed whispers of, "It's Lucy!", and, "What should we do?", Lucy begged her family inside, "Guys… I'm hungry and thirsty. I need breakfast."

A moment later, Rita handed Lucy a bowl of cereal with milk and a glass of water through the doggie door. Lucy pitifully glanced through the glass panes of the black door, only to be met by her parents' terrified glares.

In response, she fell to her knees and muttered to herself, "I guess this is what I deserve," before slowly starting to eat her cereal. Within seconds, the lively chatter had resumed inside the Loud house. Lucy picked up on the usual requests for lunch money and crossed conversations about homework and other seemingly meaningless school and work drama.

When Lucy heard Rita mention that Aunt Ruth would babysit the kids, any thoughts of taking the day off went out the window. Lucy muttered to herself, "Gag. I'd better get to school, then."

(Time Skip: 45 minutes later, west side of the Loud House)

Lucy slid off the garbage bin she pooped in before walking back to the backyard and washing her hands with the garden hose. After drying her hands off on her clothes, Lucy put her backpack on before walking slowly and with a slouched posture towards the front of the house, hoping to board Vanzilla with the rest of her family.

When Lucy finally arrived at the front of the house and locked eyes with her parents, they yelped in fright. Lynn Sr. called out to his wife, "Quick, honey, get in!", while Lynn Jr., Lola, Lana, and Lisa immediately ran away and scattered off to school.

Lucy attempted to jog towards Vanzilla and shouted after them, "Guys!", but by the time Lucy reached the front of the house, Lynn Sr. had already backed Vanzilla out of the driveway and hightailed it out of Franklin Avenue.

Lucy regretfully muttered to herself, "Sigh," fighting back tears as she walked back around to the backyard to get her backpack and start walking to school on her own.

Meanwhile, inside Vanzilla, Rita wiped sweat off her forehead as she exhaled, "Phew! Thank goodness!"

Lynn Sr. added, "Yeah… Luce's bad luck could've made this baby stall out!"

Rita murmured in agreement before noticing her phone buzzing in her pocket. Upon picking up the phone and reading the caller ID, "Bunsen Feinstein," Rita assured her husband and kids, "I've gotta take this."

Rita pressed the answer button and greeted her boss, "Hi, Bunsen!"

Dr. Feinstein answered, "Hey, Rita! How's it going?"

Rita chuckled, "Same old, same old. You?"

Dr. Feinstein chuckled, "Same here." He then asked Rita, "Listen, can you be at my office first thing this morning? It's urgent."

Rita sighed, "OK, Dr. Feinstein. I'll be there at my usual time."

Dr. Feinstein chirped, "Great! See you then!"

Rita confirmed, "You bet! See you, Dr. Feinstein!", before hanging up.

Rita panted nervously after putting her phone down. Lynn Sr. noticed and asked her knowingly, "That was Jessie?"

Rita nodded, "Yup."

Lynn Sr. assured Rita, "Come on, I mean, I'm pretty sure it's nothing bad."

Rita smiled, "You know what, you're right," before noticing her phone ringing. Upon seeing the caller ID, "Jessie Rosato," Rita groaned, "I wonder what Jess would want with me today."

Rita pressed the answer button and chirped, "Good morning, Jess!"

Jessie responded with a cheery, "Hi, Rita! How are you?"

Rita chirped, "I'm good, how are you?"

Jessie chuckled, "I'm fine myself." She then asked Rita, "Listen, can you stop by the office as soon as you can? It's urgent."

Rita pointed out nervously, "I don't know. I mean, I have to-", before Jessie interrupted her, "I completely understand. You're shuttling your large family to school. How about you get here for, say, 9:30 AM, and we can talk then?"

Rita nervously chuckled, "That's great! See you then!"

Jessie replied, "See ya!", before hanging up.

After putting her phone back in her pants pocket, Rita fell back into her seat and gulped in anxiety.

Lynn Sr., who noticed this, joked, "Aww, don't worry, sweetie. I mean, it's not like they're gonna fire you or anything!"

Rita and Lynn Sr. shared a laugh at that as they continued to drive to the business park where they both worked.

(Scene Change: 9:05 AM, Dr. Feinstein's Office)

As Rita walked into Dr. Feinstein's office, Dr. Feinstein favored Rita with a stern look on his face. He greeted, "Ah, Rita, you're here. Close the door. Take a seat."

Rita did as she was told before nervously asking Dr. Feinstein, "So, what's going on?"

Dr. Feinstein immediately slammed his 2016 day planner on the table. He then turned to the page reading, "October 12," and flipped the book over so Rita could read it. After doing so, Dr. Feinstein asked Rita, "Notice anything?"

Rita looked over the "October 12" page, and all of the appointments scheduled for that day that had either been crossed out or erased. She pointed out, "There's no appointments today."

Dr. Feinstein scowled, "And it's not just today. Keep turning through the pages."

Rita obliged. As she flipped through the pages marking each remaining day of the year, she noticed that the appointments scheduled on those days had received the same treatment.

Rita gasped, "No appointments? FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

Dr. Feinstein nodded, "Mm-hmm."

Rita nervously asked, "OK, but what does that have to do with me?"

Dr. Feinstein immediately searched through his office desk's drawers. Upon finding the newspaper he was looking for, he immediately put it on the desk and pushed it towards Rita. Rita was horrified when she saw the very parenting advice column she had penned to Lisa a few days back.

Rita stammered, "I-… b-b-but… t-t-this can't be!"

Dr. Feinstein sighed, "Look, Rita, we all have our methods of raising children," before falsely assuring Rita, "I, personally, believe your parenting methods are good for keeping unruly kids in line." He then continued, "But, many of my clients have complained that your family's treatment of your son, Lincoln, is akin to severe bullying, with some even calling it outright child abuse."

Rita gasped, "Abuse?! My children would never-", before Dr. Feinstein interrupted her, "Again, I personally believe what you're doing is fine. Unfortunately, despite us being professionals, when it comes to business, the customer is always right. And some of our customers have cited you as the reason they cancelled their appointments."

Rita paled and stuttered, "A-are you?"

Dr. Feinstein sighed, "I'm afraid so. Rita, you are hereby relieved of your duties here at Feinstein Dentistry. I'm so sorry."

Rita burst, "This can't be!"

Dr. Feinstein sighed, "Mrs. Loud, I understand this is difficult. Please turn in anything in your possession related to this establishment."

Rita sighed, "Fine," before walking away from Dr. Feinstein's office to do just that. While walking to her locker, Rita pulled out her phone and texted Lynn Sr., "Feinstein fired me".

(Time Skip: 10:00 AM)

After handing over her keycard to Dr. Feinstein, Rita sighed, "Here you go. That should be everything."

Dr. Feinstein nodded, "Good. I wish you the best of luck with all your future endeavors. Goodbye."

Rita sniffled, "Goodbye," before walking out of Dr. Feinstein's office and into Vanzilla, where a sympathetic Lynn awaited her. The two merely exchanged a look before pulling out of Dr. Feinstein's office's parking lot.

As Lynn Sr. drove off, he tried to start, "Sweetie," before Rita screamed, "FUCK!"

Lynn Sr. assured Rita, "I-i-it's OK, dear. There'll be other jobs. Besides, now you can go full-time on that writing career you've always dreamed of!"

Rita smiled, "You know what, honey? You're right! Matter of fact, I'm gonna march into Jessie's office and tell her, 'I can work full-time now!' With writing skills like mine, they have to let me go full-time!"

Lynn Sr. chuckled, "I'm sure they will, honey," before giving Rita a kiss on the cheek.

(Time Skip: 10:15 AM, Royal Woods Gazette Building, Room 417)

When Rita walked into the beige-blue Room 417 escorted by security guards, a smiling Jessie Rosato greeted her.

Rita extended her hand to Jessie and chirped, "Good morning, Jessie! Sorry I'm late!"

Jessie returned the handshake and calmly replied, "It's OK, Rita. Take a seat."

Rita and Jessie took their seats on opposite sides of Jessie's desk. Jessie asked Rita, "So, how was the drive?"

Rita told Jessie, "The drive was good. Just got caught up at Dr. Feinstein's."

Jessie reassuringly smiled, "I understand." Her face and tone then grew serious as she informed Rita, "Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

Rita nervously asked, "Sure. What is it?"

Jessie immediately placed the previous 2 days' editions of the Royal Woods Gazette onto her desk, which she had turned to the "Letters to the Editor" section, and pushed them towards Rita. Jessie instructed Rita, "Read them."

Rita started reading some of the milder reviews in the section:

"I know Lincoln. I don't like him, and even I know all of that can't be solely his fault."
"It seems as if Rita's daughters are just as stubborn as their son, if not more so."
"Doesn't it seem like you're singling your son out for things all your children do?"

Jessie furrowed her brow and told Rita, "Keep reading."

Rita then read some of the more scathing reviews:

"Dear editor, you and your family are a bunch of sexist bullies!"
"How is it right for you as parents to consider community-wide bullying and scapegoating an 'appropriate punishment' for your son?!"
"I don't care that the Gazette states that 'the views of its editors are not the views of the Gazette!' If the Gazette keeps platforming child abusers like the parenting advice columnist, I'm cancelling my subscription!"

Jessie snarled, "Cancelling my subscription. We got a lot of reviews like that! And believe me… those are the reviews we could put in the paper." Jessie then informed Rita, "We lost 10 percent of our readers in 1 business day! We had to hire a whole cybersecurity team to investigate threats made against our building, our institution, and our employees because of an article you wrote! And you wouldn't believe the calls our customer service agents had to terminate!"

When Jessie placed her phone on the table and played back recordings of some of the rudest calls customer service had received, including profanity-laced death threats, Rita gasped in horror.

Rita defended her family, "Why would they do that? Lincoln turned out just fine, and though our family's going through some… erm… hard times, my kids are still OK! Sure, they may be a little rambunctious, but that's what kids do!"

Jessie sighed, "Maintaining newspaper subscriptions, in this day and age, is already hard enough. Print media's been essentially dead for the past decade. So, when our writers publish articles that cause the number of subscribers we have left to plummet, that's not good for our business, Rita."

Rita, now catching on, gasped, "Are… are you firing me?"

Jessie shook her head, "I'm afraid so, Rita. I know our kids go to the same school; I know that we've known each other for many years. But the executives have decided that your continued affiliation with the Gazette poses too great of a risk to our establishment and everyone inside it for our employment relationship to continue. I'm so sorry, Rita."

Rita begged Jessie, "P-p-please. D-don't d-do this to me! I have 11 kids to feed!"

Jessie shook her head and told Rita, "All of your possessions and documents associated with the Royal Woods Gazette have already been turned over to IT. The security guards that escorted you into our building will also escort you out. The receptionist will give you all your non-work-related possessions in a cardboard box. Goodbye, Rita, and best of luck in the future."

A tall, bearded, medium-skinned male security guard with a turban named Jashanpreet on the left side of Rita told her, "Come on, lady, let's go!"

A dark-skinned, equally tall young man with a buzzcut named A.J. on the other side of Rita concurred, "Yeah!"

As they led Rita away from the building, Rita cried, "No! Jessie! Please! You can't do this to me! You can't! I have a family! I HAVE A FAMILY!"

Despite Rita's cries, Jessie maintained her scowl at the mother of 11.

A couple of minutes later, when the security guards finally finished escorting Rita out of the building, she pleaded with them, "Please! PLEASE!" But the security guards ignored her, causing her to fall to her knees and cry hysterically.

After a few moments, Rita noticed her phone in her pocket and decided to call Lynn Sr.

After getting two dial tones, Lynn Sr. answered, "Hello?"

Rita blubbered, "H-h-honey!"

Lynn Sr. worried, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Rita wailed, "The Royal Woods Gazette FIRED ME!", before bursting into tears.

Lynn Sr. gasped, "You got fired from both your jobs on the SAME DAY?!"

Rita bawled, "YE-HE-HE-HES!"

Lynn Sr. panted, "Oh my god," as he leaned back against the kitchen counter to process both his emotions and his wife's cries of despair.

After a couple of minutes, Rita calmed down and sniffled, "H-h-honey?"

Lynn Sr. cried, "What is it, honey? Are you going to be OK? Do you need me to pick you up?"

Rita whimpered, "Yeah. Oh, and Lynn?"

Lynn Sr. replied, "Yeah?"

Rita urged Lynn Sr. through tears, "Good luck with your business lunch today. No matter what happens… I love you."

Lynn Sr. sniffled, "I love you, too, honey. See you at the Gazette building," before hanging up and U-turning his car.

(Time Skip: 12:15 PM, Salisbury's Steak and Haggis Parking Lot, Huntington Manor)

Sweat dripped down Lynn Sr.'s face as he jumped out of Vanzilla and bolted for the entrance to Salisbury's. He muttered to himself, "Not gonna be late, not gonna be late," and slammed the door open, inadvertently attracting the intention of some patrons.

Once Lynn Sr. ran in the restaurant and saw the hostess, Rose, he bent over and put his hands on his knees while panting.

Rose gave Lynn Sr. a quizzical look and asked, "Umm… can I help you?"

Lynn Sr. looked up and panted, "Table… with… Carl Pingrey… reserved for right now."

Rose put her finger to her chin in thought before pleasantly fake-smiling, "Ahh… yes. Lynn Loud?"

Lynn Sr. nodded, "Yes."

Rose instructed Lynn Sr., "OK, follow me."

As Lynn Sr. followed Rose to his table, he noticed some of the restaurant's patrons giving him side-eyes and conversing in hushed whispers. Lynn Sr. tried to give them a nervous smile back, but tensed up when he noticed that some of the patrons maintained their glares at him.

Just as Lynn Sr. imagined some jokes he could make to lighten the situation, Carl's warm, somewhat deep voice happily welcomed him, "Lynn Loud!", taking Lynn Sr. out of his thoughts.

Lynn Sr. looked up to see Carl greeting him with a warm smile in a snazzy black business suit with a white undershirt and blue tie. Lynn Sr. nervously chuckled, "Oh… Mr. Pingrey," before extending his hand out for a handshake.

Carl reassured Lynn Sr., "Please, call me Carl. What, with our daughters going to school together, and all."

Lynn Sr. chuckled, "Oh… yeah… right."

They then took their seats on opposite ends of the table they had booked before Carl asked Lynn Sr., "So, have you ever been here before?"

Lynn Sr. admitted, "No! But my daughters have been dying for me to take them here, and, well, I get to go here for the first time for a business meeting?! I feel like a bigshot!"

Carl laughed, "Indeed you do. First-timer's suggestion… go for the bangers and mash. I know you'll love it!"

Lynn Sr. smiled, "Alright, I'll take your word for it. And speaking of food," to which Carl responded, "Ah, yes, the loan for your restaurant, Lynn's Table."

Lynn Sr. effused, "Carl, I just want to thank you so much for not just finally getting the bank around to review my loan application, but also coming here personally to discuss it with me."

Carl assured Lynn Sr., "Oh, anything for an old friend who's sure to be the best restauranteur in Royal Woods!"

At that moment, a tall, thin, fair-skinned young woman with straight red hair and glasses walked up to the men and greeted them with a smile, "Hi, welcome to Salisbury's Steak and Haggis! My name is Monica, and I'll be serving you today!"

Lynn Sr. and Carl replied, "OK," before Monica asked, "May I start you off with a drink?"

Both Carl and Lynn Sr. immediately told Monica, "Sparkling water, please."

Monica chirped, "OK, two bottles of sparkling water coming right up!", before walking away. As Monica walked away, she rolled her eyes and groaned to herself, "Smug bastard."

(Time Skip: 1 hour later)

Monica smirked evilly when a young, voluptuous, dark-skinned female cook named Channelle handed her Lynn Sr.'s plate of bangers and mash. The rest of the kitchen, made up predominantly of other dark-skinned cooks and dishwashers, turned to her, eager to anticipate what she would do with the food. Monica noticed this, gave them a thumbs-up, and hocked a nasty loogie in between the peas and sausages of Lynn Sr.'s plate. The rest of the kitchen laughed and clapped loudly at that. Chantelle encouragingly slapped Monica on the back and whispered to her, "Give that man hell, Sweetwater. Give him hell."

Monica nodded at Channelle before leaving the kitchen for Lynn Sr.'s and Carl's table. As Lynn Sr. and Carl were talking, she happily chirped, "Here you go, sir!", as she handed Lynn Sr. his plate.

Lynn Sr. gave Monica a thumbs-up as he said, "Thank you!", before frantically mixing his food.

Carl observed, "I can see you can't wait to start chowing down, I see."

Lynn Sr. smiled, "You bet! I've been dying for bangers 'n mash these past few days!" He then told Carl, "Between you and me, I don't know what's been up with the rest of this food. The sparkling water tasted kind of off and the bridie felt kind of hard and grimy at the same time!"

Carl asked in mock surprise, "Oh, really?"

Lynn Sr. smugly whispered to Carl, "I swear… for all the hype this place gets, I'm a much better cook than those lazy, loud monkeys in the back."

Despite his shock, Carl maintained his composure and nervously laughed off Lynn Sr.'s remark, "Yeah."

Lynn Sr. smiled, "Ah well, time to dig in!", before starting to stuff his face with the now fully-mixed bangers and mash. Carl winced in disgust as he watched Lynn Sr. eat with his mouth full. As he tried to look away, he noticed Monica approaching him with his plate.

When Monica returned to the table, she sweetly told Carl, "Here you go, a large Salisbury steak with Clapshot dip," while winking at him.

Carl chuckled, "Thank you, Monica."

Monica assured Carl and Lynn Sr., "If you boys need anything else, just give me a shout."

Carl and Lynn Sr. told her, "We will!", as Monica smiled and waved at them before leaving to serve a pair of customers on the other side of the restaurant.

Carl's eyes then focused on Lynn Sr., who had resumed stuffing his face with his bangers and mash. Once Carl overcame his initial disgust at Lynn Sr., he started to cut his own steak. As he did, he cleared his throat, "So, about your business plan."

Lynn Sr. spoke with his mouth full, "Yes?"

Carl summarized, "The business plan seems to be thorough. Your financial statements seem to show that you will turn a consistent profit pretty quickly, which seems reasonable given your space, wide variety of food, and accessible yet quiet location on the eastern edge of downtown. You actually got the 'Something Fishy' building for a steal… I commend you for that."

Lynn Sr. smiled, "No problem the ol' Lynn-arino couldn't handle!"

Carl then joked, "I know you said your kids will be helping you out, and like you said, with that many hands, who needs to pay employees?"

Carl and Lynn Sr. laughed at that, with Lynn Sr.'s laugh being a little more nervous, before Carl added, "Anyway, despite Rita's recent… erm… situation, you seem to have plenty of collateral between yours and Rita's finances, and between you and me, if you run short, we know Lisa can always sell another science project for you guys!"

Lynn Sr. and Carl shared another laugh before Carl mused, "Plus, your resume is intriguing. I hear you're one of the best chefs over at Aloha Comrade!"

Lynn Sr. smiled, "You know it!"

Carl chuckled before telling Lynn Sr., "However, my colleagues and I just need one more thing before we approve this loan."

Lynn Sr. asked, "Sure, Carl, what is it?"

Carl stated, "If it isn't too much trouble, we'd like to stop by at your house for dinner."

Lynn Sr. gasped, "I was thinking the same thing! You know, Aloha Comrade makes me cook their food, so I wouldn't be able to give you a sample of what I can offer at Lynn's Table! But at my house… now we're talking."

Carl exclaimed, "Exactly! You know, sample some of your food, give it the old taste test, meet your entire family."

Lynn Sr. paled, "What? R-repeat that last part again."

A brief smirk crossed Carl's face before he gave Lynn Sr. a serious look and repeated himself, "Meet your whole family. Unless that's a problem."

Lynn Sr. stammered, "I-I can't do that."

Carl sighed, "Look, I know you told me about the state of the Sister Fight Protocol in your house. A lot of people in town, myself included, know all about your children's reputations. But I bet that if your kids heard about how big this would be for you, they would certainly put their differences aside so they could see their father achieve his dream. I'm sure they're not that bad. Especially your son."

Lynn Sr. pleaded with Carl, "You don't understand! My daughters have gone completely crazy! And you don't want to see Lori. Hoo boy… if she knew you were coming, between her and the rest of her sisters, they'd literally tear you limb from limb! Let alone what they'd do to Lincoln if they saw him eating at the table without his squirrel suit head!"

Carl laughed, "Who said anything about Lincoln having to eat at the table with you guys? Can't have any unlucky charms on the biggest day of your life, now, can you?"

Lynn Sr. chuckled, "Nope, gonna need all the luck I can get!", making Carl silently gasp in horror.

Carl shook off his horror and admitted, "Can't argue with you there. And you know what, if you can't provide the entire family tonight, I might relent."

As Lynn Sr. breathed a sigh of relief, Carl added, "Between you and me, if you ask me, I think this restaurant is overhyped and overpriced, too! You don't know how many times I've been taken to fancy restaurants and invited home by business associates, wannabe entrepreneurs, and rich college-aged daddy's boys who want to suck up to me. It gets tiring after a while. And really, who am I to deny a man with a dream of sharing his 'Lynn-sane' cooking with the world?! You know what, Loud, you've got the loan!"

Lynn Sr. smiled in shock, "Oh, oh my god… thank you! Thank you so much! You don't know how much this means to me!", before grabbing Carl's hand for a handshake, spilling his drink all over the table in the process.

Thankfully, the water that spilled from Carl's drink didn't stain him or any important documents he had, so Carl awkwardly laughed off Lynn Sr.'s enthusiastic mistake and returned his handshake.

When Lynn Sr. broke the handshake, he relaxed into his chair, giving Carl a confident and victorious smile. As Carl saw Lynn Sr. relax, he took a moment to reflect on his next move, and whether he really wanted to go through with it. But after remembering Lynn Sr.'s early remarks about needing "all the luck he could get," Carl flashed a smile at Lynn Sr. while steeling himself for what he was about to suggest.

Carl joked, "You're welcome. And don't worry about the spill, at least none of it hit me."

Lynn Sr. and Carl shared a laugh before Carl pointed out, "Besides, that spill reminded me of something I wanted to ask you before we officially sign anything. And I hope it's not too big of a request, but, may I get a personal recommendation from someone?"

Lynn Sr. smugly assured Carl, "Sure," before asking, "Who would you like the recommendation from? My supervisor? My boss? Some random strangers?"

As Lynn Sr. fired off non-family members that could give him a recommendation, Carl interrupted him, "Lincoln."

Lynn Sr.'s pupils shrunk as he stammered, "L-L-Lincoln?"

Carl repeated himself, "Yes, Lincoln."

Lynn Sr. tried to shift responsibility, "I-if you're going to ask one of my kids for a recommendation, don't you want to ask Lynn Jr.? Or one of my other daughters?"

Carl insisted, "No. None of your daughters. I want a recommendation from Lincoln Loud. Himself. Verbally. As soon as possible. Pick him up from school if you need to. You can do that, can't you?"

Lynn Sr. stammered, "I-I can't."

Carl simply asked, "Why?"

Lynn Sr. explained, "The last time I saw him, he was in the school's office. Principal Huggins told Rita and I that he had been suspended, and to pick him up."

Carl pointed out, "And? If he's suspended, certainly your wife is home with him, isn't she? School district rules state that whenever a child is suspended or expelled, at least one parent/guardian must stay home with them for the duration of their suspension or expulsion. And the child must be home for the duration of the suspension or expulsion."

Lynn Sr.'s frozen non-answer was all the answer that Carl needed. He asked Lynn Sr., "You mean to tell me that Rita is not home with him, either?" Lynn Sr.'s silence gave Carl the confidence to ask him, "If neither you nor Rita are home with him, then who is? Do you know? Lynn?"

Lynn Sr. remained frozen, which gave Carl the idea to suggest, "Actually, why don't you call him right now so I can meet him? At the Loud house?"

Lynn Sr. yelped, "No! I don't want you catching his bad luck!", causing some of the nearby patrons to gasp and glare harshly at Lynn Sr.

Carl, knowing he had Lynn Sr. right where he wanted him, asked him, "Why don't you want me to catch his bad luck? Is it because no one is home with him? Is he even home right now?"

Sweat glistened off Lynn Sr.'s forehead as he remained frozen, making Carl escalate, "Do you even know where your son is? I want to speak with him to hear his glowing recommendation of his father's cooking. He certainly has the time, so it should be simple enough, right?"

After silently contemplating his answer for a few seconds, Lynn Sr. nervously stammered, "Oh… um… he's at Clyde's house."

Carl clasped his hands and said, "Really?! Because I just talked to Harold and Howard this morning for another meeting, and they said that it's just them and their boy, Clyde. But just in case, I can call them now if you want."

Lynn Sr. stammered, "Umm... yeah! Go ahead!"

Carl pulled out his phone and called Harold McBride. Harold immediately picked up and answered, "Hello?"

Carl knowingly sneered, "Hello, Mr. McBride, this is Carl Pingrey speaking. Have any of you seen Lincoln in the last… say… two weeks?"

Harold convincingly lied, "Umm…no! We've been looking for him ever since we got home from Toronto. Poor Lincoln, he's such a love… I'd hate if anything bad happened to him."

Carl nodded, "Understood. It must be so difficult for you three, especially Clyde, to deal with his disappearance. When you find him, let me know."

Harold falsely assured Carl, "We will. Bye," before hanging up.

Carl told Lynn Sr., "Welp, there go the McBrides. Do you have any other ideas where he might be?"

Lynn Sr. frantically suggested, "Umm… maybe he's with Liam's parents. O-or Zach's parents. O-or Rusty. Or that one girl, Ronnie Anne. Or that other girl… erm…what's her name… Jordan? Maybe he snuck out to Gus' Games & Grub," before Carl cut him off, "It sounds like you don't know where your own son is, Mr. Loud."

Lynn Sr. gulped before Carl handed Lynn Sr. his phone and offered, "I'll tell you what: many of the people you mentioned are clients of our bank. I helped Mr. Spokes get his clothing business off the ground, I helped the Hunnicutts to buy new farm equipment, and I helped Mr. and Mrs. Gurdle start their online store. Ronnie Anne… let's see… she's Roberto's little sister. Roberto and my daughter, Carol, were friends before your daughter, Lori, started dating him. And the Rosatos are good friends of mine… I go to Jay for law advice and lawyer recommendations from time to time. I also gave Gus Gamesngrub a loan that helped keep his place afloat during the recession a few years back. I have all of them on my rolodex, so just give them a call."

Lynn Sr., not knowing what to do, froze before Carl insisted, "Call them. Any of them. I'll wait."

Lynn Sr. gulped as he scrolled to the first contact on Carl's list: Billy Hunicutt. When Lynn Sr. stopped dialing, Carl demanded, "Speaker phone, please."

After one dial tone, Billy picked up and answered the phone, "Top o' the afternoon, Mr. Pingrey! What can I do ya for?"

Lynn Sr. stammered, "I-it's OG Lynn. Say, have you guys, Mee Maw, Liam, or his brother or sister, seen Lincoln in the past couple of weeks?"

Leigh Anne, Billy's wife, told Lynn Sr., "Uh… Liam's seen him at school. None of us have seen him. But Liam told me he got suspended. I thought he'd be with either you or Rita."

Lynn Sr.'s jaw dropped as he realized he didn't have an answer to that, so he quickly hung up the phone.

Carl raised an eyebrow and simply told Lynn Sr., "Next."

Lynn Sr. proceeded to call, in order, the Gurdles, Gus Gamesngrub, the Rosatos, Maria Santiago, and Rodney Spokes, only to receive similar answers that caused Lynn Sr. to become slightly more terrified and sweaty every time he heard them. All of them asked Lynn Sr. why he was calling them as to Lincoln's whereabouts after he got suspended, due to the district rules outlining that Lincoln had to be home with his parent/legal guardian for the duration of his suspension. As Lynn Sr. frantically called his son's friends' parents, the eyes of virtually every patron and staff member within the restaurant turned to his conversation with Carl.

Carl then slammed his hands on the table and hissed at Lynn Sr., "Lincoln's not at home, is he? You kicked him out of your, no, his, home and don't know where he's gone."

The rest of the patrons and staff members gasped, waiting for Lynn Sr.'s response. Lynn Sr. stuttered, "B-b-but I… w-we had to! H-he lied about b-being b-bad luck, a-and m-my d-daughters-", to which Carl interrupted him by snarling, "This lunch is over."

As Carl stood up from his seat, Lynn Sr. cried, "M-Mr. Pingrey… please… I need this."

Carl repeated himself, "This lunch is over," before walking away from the table with a scowl on his face.

Lynn Sr. pathetically begged, "Mr. Pingrey… please… please," only for Carl to ignore him. Lynn Sr. started crying hysterically on the tabletop, causing many of the patrons who were glaring at him to murmur things like, "That man has some nerve!", and, "Get him out of my sight!"

Finally, the hostess, Rose, told Lynn Sr., "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave this restaurant."

Lynn Sr. sniffled, "W-why?"

Rose sighed, "Your presence is disturbing the rest of our patrons. Now leave."

Lynn Sr. sniffed, "F-fine," before following Rose to the front desk. When Rose handed Lynn Sr. the bill, he yelped, "Are you kidding me? All THIS?!"

Rose nodded and simply held out her card scanner. Lynn Sr. grumbled, "Fine," before taking out his credit card to pay for both his and Carl's meal. After doing so, he ran to his car while crying hysterically.

Meanwhile, in the parking lot, Carl leaned on the side of his yellow Lamborghini before pulling out his phone and unlocking it. When he did so, he clicked on the "stop" button on his "Recordings" app, and texted the recording to Brian Sweetwater. After attaching the recording, Carl simply texted Brian, "The cooks at the restaurant we went to were black. Send this to HR. Regarding that… and everything else… you know what to do."

He then proceeded to send the recordings to his group chat of executives, and captioned it with a text reading, "Begin the fund reallocation process."

As Carl put his phone back in his pocket, he noticed Lynn Sr. bawling his eyes out running towards him at full speed. He growled, "What do you want, Loud?"

Lynn Sr. beseeched Carl, "Please, reconsider. I need this… my wife needs this… my daughters need this!"

Carl scoffed, "After the complete disregard you, and by extension, your wife and daughters, showed for your only son, I wouldn't even trust you to be toilet cleaners for Lincoln's Cabin."

Lynn Sr. sniffled, "L-Lincoln's Cabin? What's that?" He tried to joke, "I like the name," but Carl shot back, "Miss me with the puns, Loud. Lincoln's Cabin is going to be a geek's paradise: the world's first ever hybrid video game/comic store and arcade. All in one. So, customers will be able to buy video games, AND try them out for the play points they'll get on their play cards. And it'll also have all the traditional arcade games. The reward points/tickets will be used for other little knick-knacks."

Lynn Sr. scoffed, "Lincoln's Cabin? There's no way you can put a silly arcade or video game store in the middle of a lively downtown! All the kids will want to do is stare at screens when they should be going outside and trying out different foods!"

Carl countered, "You know, for someone who works on computers all day for a living and has multiple phone-addicted daughters, you should know better." Carl then opened the door to his yellow Lamborghini and simply said, "Goodbye, Lynn." Carl then closed the door to his Lamborghini and sped off, leaving Lynn with specks of mud to wipe off his clothes.

As soon as Lynn Sr. saw the mud splash onto his clothes, he screeched in horror before running into Vanzilla and crying hysterically for the next few minutes, "My dream… ruined!"

Then, Lynn Sr. noticed his phone vibrating in his pocket. When he picked it up, he saw Jared's name. He immediately answered, "Oh, Jared, thank god!"

Jared simply said, "Lynn, come back to the office. HR would like to speak with you. Immediately."

Lynn Sr. stammered, "O-OK. I'll be there," before noticing another call coming in from Sergei. When Lynn Sr. noticed this, he muttered, "I gotta take this," before hanging up on Jared and smiling through tears, "Sergei, how's it going?!"

Sergei told Lynn Sr., "Loud, meet me at the restaurant as soon as you can."

Lynn Sr. squeaked, "I-I can't. I've got a meeting with the IT guys over at my other job."

Sergei assured Lynn Sr., "Don't worry. I've got all day. Just let me know when you can come in."

Lynn Sr. gulped, "O-OK. I'll call you," before hanging up and setting course for his IT office in downtown Royal Woods.

(Time Skip: 15 minutes later, Technotronic Enterprises, 2nd Floor, Conference Room)

Lynn Sr. walked into an empty conference room to find his direct supervisor, Jared, and Director of Human Resources Danielle Timbers, glaring at him. Danielle was a voluptuous fair-skinned woman with freckles and brown hair tied into a bun by a red band, and she was wearing a lavender business dress with black flats.

Jared seriously addressed Lynn Sr., "Come, take a seat."

Lynn Sr. took a seat on the other end of the table from Jared and Danielle, who sat beside each other.

Once all three were seated, Jared fiddled around on his phone before pressing play on the recording he was looking for. Lynn Sr. grew mortified as he listened to his recorded voice call the kitchen staff at Salisbury's "monkeys." When the recording was done, Jared told Lynn Sr., "The staff on shift at Salisbury's at the time you were there were predominantly black, Lynn. Did you know that?"

Lynn Sr. gulped as sweat raced down his forehead. Lynn Sr. tried to use his silence as a plea of innocence, but neither Jared nor Danielle were having it. The sniveling tone Lynn Sr. used was more than enough to confirm that Lynn Sr. used the word, "monkeys," as a racist insult to said cooks.

Danielle piled on, "We also have another voice recording," before playing a voice recording on her phone. As Lynn Sr. heard himself defend locking Lincoln out of the house, he tensed in horror and embarrassment.

When the recording stopped, Danielle asked Lynn Sr., "What about your daughters?"

Lynn Sr. stuttered, "Well… I…. uh…," to which Jared interrupted him, "Save it, Loud." He then sighed, "Look, Mr. Loud, for many years, I've tolerated your antics in this company. I've tolerated your tendency to miss quotas. I tolerated your wild daughters during 'Take Your Kid to Work Day.'"

Lynn Sr. interrupted, "You mean Take Your Daughter to Work Day?", causing Danielle and Jared to growl at Lynn Sr.

Danielle clarified, "No, Lynn. Take Your Kid to Work Day. Gender-neutral. Meaning your daughters… and your son."

Jared added, "That attitude, right there, is exactly what we're talking about. The attitude of you and your daughters is a sexist, discriminatory attitude that has no place at Technotronic Enterprises."

Danielle finished, "Which is why… we're letting you go."

Lynn Sr. gasped before pleading with Danielle and Jared, "No, please! You can't do this! My wife is getting fired, I have 10 girls to feed, I…", before Danielle interrupted him, "10 girls and 1 boy. Maybe you should have thought of that before you, your wife, and your daughters locked your own son out of his home."

Lynn Sr. started, "But-", before Jared interrupted him, "All of your work-related possessions and items have already been confiscated, and all of your work-related accounts have been terminated. Which brings me to one final order of business." He then extended his hand out and demanded, "Give me your card."

Lynn Sr. slowly pulled out his wallet, opened it, and revealed his work access card before sighing as he handed it over to Jared.

Danielle told Lynn Sr., "Thank you. Security will be escorting you out of the building. Once you arrive in the reception area, the receptionist, Cheri, will be handing you your non-work-related items to you in a cardboard box, which you will carry with you off the premises. Goodbye, Lynn."

Suddenly, two equally tall, buff security guards, a fair-skinned man with a blonde buzzcut and a dark-skinned man with a black buzzcut, knocked on the door. Danielle opened the door, and the fair-skinned security guard, Conrad, told Lynn Sr., "Come on, let's go."

Lynn Sr. wailed, "NO, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME, PLE-HE-HESE!", as the security guards proceeded to drag him by his arms out of the building. As Lynn Sr. was dragged through the office, he gave his coworkers pleading looks, but hard stares were all he received.

Finally, when Lynn Sr. was judged to be a safe distance away from the building, he ran to Vanzilla and threw his box of workplace belongings in the trunk before slamming the driver's door open and closed and crying on his steering wheel, making its horn blare for a solid couple of minutes. When Lynn Sr. finally calmed down, he called Sergei, who answered, "Hello?"

Lynn Sr. sadly muttered, "Yes, Sergei. It's me, Lynn. I'll be over in about 5 minutes."

Sergei blankly replied, "Sounds good," before hanging up.

Lynn Sr. then proceeded to turn the ignition on before setting course for Aloha Comrade.

(Time Skip: 5 minutes later, Aloha Comrade Kitchen)

Lynn Sr. walked into the kitchen of Aloha Comrade and tried to greet his coworkers as peppily as he could on his way to Sergei's office. Unfortunately, Lynn Sr. was met with stony silence every time he tried to smile at an employee.

When he finally reached Sergei's office, Lynn Sr. greeted him, "Hey, Sergei! как оно?!" (Translation: "Hey, Sergei! What's up?!" in Russian)

Sergei sighed, "Sit down, Lynn."

Lynn Sr. took his seat opposite Sergei.

Sergei started, "Over the last few days, some of our patrons couldn't help but note the troubling behavior exhibited by you and your daughters."

Lynn Sr. paled, "Troubling behavior? What do you mean?"

Sergei listed, "3 of your daughters have… erm… 'gone viral' for pooping. 2 of whom did so due to prank set up by oldest daughter. Pink daughter exposed for cheating in beauty pageants. Tall ponytail daughter accused of burning house down. Some patrons said you 'abuse your children' because of story in newspaper. Dumb daughter went to school dressed like Nazi; oldest and punk daughters took pictures."

Sergei then explained, "Anyway, last couple of days, no one visiting restaurant. Coworkers come in; told me no one want to work with you. исчезнуть из поля зрения." (Translation: "Get out of my sight.")

Lynn Sr. gasped, "Are you firing me, too?"

Sergei nodded, "Yes. You and your family also banned from restaurant, except baby and orange son."

Lynn Sr. wondered, "Orange son," before realizing, "Wait… Lincoln?!"

Sergei nodded, "Yes. Lincoln good boy. You, Rita, and daughters… bad. Very bad." He then pointed at the door and ordered Lynn Sr., "Leave."

Lynn Sr. begged Sergei, "Please… you can't take this from me! My wife lost both of her jobs; I just lost my IT job… I lost my dream restaurant… I can't lose this, too! We're going to have no money!"

Sergei told Lynn Sr., "I come from harsh Russia. In Russia, you don't need money… you need love. You Americans have so much money you forget love. That's why half of you divorce. Your children act like hoodlums."

Lynn Sr. gasped, "Money! I need money!" He then smiled, "Thanks, Sergei!", before running out of Sergei's office back to Vanzilla. As Lynn Sr. ran out, Sergei shook his head and muttered to himself, "Stupid Americans."

Lynn Sr. then quickly turned on the ignition and sped off for the nearest Detroit National Bank ATM, which, thankfully, was a drive-thru ATM a mere few hundred yards away. As he drove, he called Rita, who answered, "Hello?"

Lynn Sr. cried, "Honey… I lost the deal with Carl!"

Rita shrieked, "You WHAT?!"

Lynn Sr. panted, "And that's not all! Technotronic AND Aloha Comrade fired me!"

Rita gasped, "They fired you, too?! How did that happen?!"

Lynn Sr. responded, "Doesn't matter," before asking Rita, "Are you home with the kids right now?"

Rita replied, "Yeah, why?"

Lynn Sr. informed Rita, "I'm gonna go to the ATM and get us some money. How much do you need?"

As soon as the word "money" was uttered, Lynn Sr.'s high school-aged kids immediately ran downstairs and began yelling ridiculous figures.

Luna shouted, "A mil, dude!"

Lori scoffed, "Literally 10 mil. At least."

Leni asked, "Wait, 1 million? Is that even a real number?"

Rita yelled, "Girls, calm down!", before calmly telling Lynn Sr., "I think about $500 should get us through today. Then I'll go to the ATM tomorrow and you can watch the kids."

Lori, Leni, and Luna gasped, "$500?!', before yelling, "GIMME!"

Sounds of fists slamming were all Lynn Sr. heard. Not wanting to think about the horrors his daughters were inflicting onto Rita due to hearing about money, Lynn Sr. told Rita, "Save yourself, honey! Bye!", before hanging up.

Panting heavily as he pulled up to the ATM, Lynn Sr. slammed his bank card into the ATM and typed in his PIN. He then clicked, "Withdraw," muttering to himself, "Come on, come on, come on!", only to receive the notice, "Insufficient funds to complete this transaction." Lynn Sr. yelled, "Oh, come on!", before immediately parking his car in a parking lot behind the building. He then ran into the ATM, handed his card to the bank teller, and panted, "Umm… I think there's a problem with my card."

The teller, Jesse Hiller, smiled, "Sure, what's the problem?"

Lynn Sr. explained, "I tried to draw money at the ATM, and it told me I had insufficient funds!"

Jessie chirped, "Sure, I can solve that for you! Just hand me your card!"

Lynn Sr. handed Jessie his card, and Jessie reviewed his card. She then asked, "May I see some ID to confirm your identity?"

Lynn Sr. said, "Sure," before pulling his driver's license out of his wallet and handing it to Jessie. Jessie's face fell when she read the ID, "Oh… Lynn Loud?"

Lynn Sr. joked, "The first of two!"

Jessie laughed, "Sure, let's get you set up," while keying in Lynn Sr.'s information. When she saw Lynn Sr.'s bank account information, she gasped in shock.

Lynn Sr. desperately asked Jessie, "What… what is it?"

Jessie urged Lynn Sr., "Hang on… let me just confirm this." Jessie then typed in some more keystrokes, which all but seemed to confirm her initial findings.

Jessie then turned to Lynn Sr., and in the cheeriest attitude she could muster, explained, "I'm sorry, Mr. Loud, but it appears as if… all your bank accounts are completely empty! 0 dollars and 0 cents in all of them!"

Lynn Sr. whispered, "What?"

Jessie confirmed, "Yes," before adding, "But somehow… you still have $59,369.86 left on your mortgage, and $8,893.25 on your DNB SpenderCard. Would you like to speak to a Financial Advisor to discuss bankruptcy planning."

Lynn Sr. panted, "No, no, I'm fine. Just… just let me make a call."

Jessie chirped, "OK, fine."

Lynn Sr. quickly called Rita, who answered, "Honey, what is it?"

Lynn Sr. begged Rita, "Honey, check your ATM right now. The teller just said we're broke."

Rita muttered, "What?"

Lynn Sr. nodded, "Yeah. I gave her my bank card… said we've got $0 bank balances in all our accounts, yet our debts are still on the books."

Rita mentioned, "Let me go to the computer and check this."

Lynn Sr. nodded, "OK," as he leaned up against the wall and slumped all the way down until he was practically sitting in a fetal position.

(Scene Change: Loud House)

Rita logged onto the house's desktop computer, tailed by her daughters as she did so.

Luna beseeched Rita, "Come on, dude! We need some green!"

Rita urged her daughters, "Kids, calm down!", as she logged into her bank account. She assured the kids, "I'll log onto our bank account and see what happens!"

Rita logged onto the Loud family's bank accounts, and when the screen came up showing their totals, everyone gasped in horror.

All of the Louds' bank accounts had been completely cleaned out. A savings account, the main checking account that belonged to Lynn Sr., and 12 other bank accounts, each one in the names of one of the members of the family, and representing each of their own money that they had deposited in the bank, had completely vanished.

Lori gasped in horror, "No… it literally can't be."

Rita tried to assure her kids, "Hang on… I'll pull up the transaction reports." But when Rita pulled up the transaction history of each account, she found absolutely nothing. She found the bank account transaction histories going up to the previous day, but absolutely nothing for today. All of the Louds' money had disappeared without a trace.

Rita then scrolled down to see the values of the Louds' investments. Rita was stunned to find that her and Lynn Sr.'s 401Ks, Roth IRAs, and financial market investments, along with the college and Sweet 16 funds they had saved for each of their kids, had also completely vanished.

As Rita kept scrolling down, she panted, "No… no… no… no!"

Rita started biting her nails when she found that in spite of her family's assets being completely wiped out, her remaining debts were still on the books, untouched from the previous month.

Leni, who had already gasped in horror when she saw the blank balances in everyone's bank accounts, couldn't comprehend what was going on. Lori, on the other hand, immediately understood what was happening, and her eyes grew as wide as saucers as she watched her mom scroll through her bank accounts.

Luna saw the horror on Lori's face and whispered, "Dude… what's going on?"

Lori and Rita broke the news to everyone in the house at the same time: "Dad/Lynn's right. We're totally broke."

The rest of the Loud sisters and Lynn Sr. gasped before whispering, "What?"

Rita sniffled, "We… there's no money in the bank. We're broke, Lynn. We're broke. All of us," before hanging up the phone.

(Scene Change: Detroit National Bank, Downtown Royal Woods Branch)

Lynn Sr. panted heavily as his heart threatened to leap out of his chest. As Jessie watched Lynn Sr., she asked him in concern, "Sir… are you OK?"

Lynn Sr. whispered, "OK?", before gradually increasing his volume, "Ok… OK…. OK?!" He then yelled, loud enough for everyone in the bank to hear, "MY FAMILY IS TOTALLY BROKE!"

Jessie tried to reassure Lynn Sr., "Sir, I understand this must be very frustrating for you."

Lynn Sr. screamed, "FRUSTRATING?! MY FAMILY IS BROKE!"

Jessie urged Lynn Sr., "Sir, calm down. Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do to help you. You'll have to call the bank's call center. The number is on the back of your card."

Lynn Sr. swiped his debit card from Jessie's hand and stormed out of the bank, yelling, "DANG IT! FUCK! FUCK! MOTHERFUCKER! FUCKING THIEVES! DING-FRIGGIN-DANG IT!", as he ran into his car in a combination of horror and fury.

When Lynn Sr. ran inside Vanzilla, he threw a borderline temper tantrum, honking his horn in rage 10 times before crying on his horn, causing it to blare through the downtown area. After about 5 minutes of crying, Lynn Sr. sped away from the parking lot and made his way towards Royal Woods Middle School to pick Lynn Jr. up from school. While doing so, he called Lynn Jr.'s football coach, Coach Johnson.

Coach Johnson answered the phone, "Hello?"

Lynn Sr. panted, "Hey, it's me, Lynn Loud Sr., Lynn Jr.'s dad. Lynn Jr. won't be coming to practice today."

Coach Johnson asked, "Why not?"

Lynn Sr. explained, "Family emergency."

Coach Johnson sighed, "Understood. But make sure she takes home the playbook to study tonight. We need her tomorrow, and especially for Friday's game."

Lynn Sr. nodded, "Understood, bye," before quickly hanging up.

(Time Skip: 3:45 PM, Loud House)

When Lynn Sr. finally dropped off his kids, he told them, "Everybody, inside!"

Lynn Jr., Lola, Lana, and Lisa immediately grumbled about Lynn Sr. urging them that a family emergency took precedence over their after-school activities.

As Lynn Sr. got out of Vanzilla, Lucy popped out of the van from inside and informed him, "I'm here, too," startling Lynn Sr.

Lynn Sr. sighed, "Lucy… just stay outside. You can listen through the door." Lynn Sr. then tossed her a water bottle before closing the door on her.

Lucy looked down, "Sigh," as she weakly walked to the front door, gazing in to see if she could both watch and listen to the conversation that was about to unfold.

Meanwhile, inside the Loud House, the rest of the Louds, sans Lucy and Lincoln, gathered inside the living room. Rita stood in front of them, starting, "So, we've all called you to this emergency family meeting because…", before Lynn Sr. yelped, "WE'RE TOTALLY BROKE!"

This caused the rest of the Loud family to gasp in shock & horror.

Closing A/N: And… there it is! Carl Pingrey took the Louds to the cleaners! I thought of this from the beginning… have the Louds go broke asset-wise, but have their DEBTS remain!

A/N 2: Regarding the fact both Loud parents get fired from 2 jobs simultaneously: I know in canon, Rita left being a dental assistant for the Royal Woods Gazette, and Lynn Sr. left his IT job for Aloha Comrade. However, because the two of them are supporting 11 children with expensive hobbies, and because the Gazette and Aloha Comrade work as freelance and part-time jobs, respectively, I decided that it would be not just possible, but necessary, for the Loud parents to work 2 jobs to support their family. Ergo, in my headcanon, Lynn Sr. works his IT job & Aloha Comrade job simultaneously. Ditto for Rita's double duty between being a dental assistant and freelancing for the Gazette.

A/N 3: I know Linda and Brian don't appear here. I did this on purpose to illustrate a reality of the corporate world: when you're executives like they are, you can afford to hide behind walls of people that will communicate your decisions for you. Linda and Brian having this kind of power? Be afraid, Louds. Be VERY afraid.

A/N 4: I came up with the idea for "Technotronic Enterprises" from a ChatGPT prompt for generic yet slightly sarcastic tech company names. When I saw the description, I thought to myself: perfect. This sounds like the kind of company Lynn Sr. would work for. I know, I know… sue me.

A/N 5: Danielle Timbers is the Unnamed Brunette Woman from Maggie's birthday party in "Funny Business." You thought I'd leave any character unused? No, that's not how things work here.

A/N 6: Lynn Sr.'s mortgage amount? Here's how I got it: I figured that if Lori was born in 1999, then based on the events of the Loud House movie and "L is for Love", Lynn Sr. and Rita would have bought their house and got married around May 1997 (green trees plus "L is for Love" being an anniversary). I assumed a 30-year mortgage at 7.6% (average interest rate at the time), and assumed Lynn Sr. and Rita bought their house for $125,000 (a little above average Michigan housing prices at the time, given how many rooms the Loud House has) with a 20% down payment of $25,000. Put it all together, throw it into an amortization calculator, and voila! I get that in real life, Lynn Sr. and Rita probably would have refinanced numerous times to keep their growing family afloat, but I wanted to keep things simple.

A/N 7: Lynn Sr. and Rita's credit card amounts were based on the number of reviews I had on this fanfic at the time I wrote them (the 889 part) plus the day I published my first chapter (the 3.25 part).

A/N 8: 12 other bank accounts? There's one in Rita's name, and one in each of the Loud kids' names. As for Lincoln's money? Without giving away too much, let's just say the co-conspirators are helping Lincoln with that.

A/N 9: Shoutout to Saccharine for the "Lincoln's Cabin" name.

A/N 10: I changed Cristina's family name from "Chase" to "Timbers." Thicc QT (Cristina's older sister) has been renamed to Quinlan Timbers, Dr. Charles Chase (Cristina's dad) is now Dr. Oliver Timbers, and Scarlett Chase (Cristina's mom) is now Danielle Timbers.

Anyway, what will the Louds do to adjust to their new financial reality? Find out next chapter on… REVERSAL! OF! FORTUNE!