36: Love, Maddie

"Deal."

The room fell into murmurs as Harry took a step forwards, holding his wand tightly in his fist, "I'll duel you."

"Maddie-"

"He's made his choice, Fred," Madeline snapped, not bothering to look over to her boyfriend. Her eyes were still fixated on Harry, "If you win, I won't tell Umbridge about whatever you're doing in here."

"Terms of the duel?"

"First to unarm the other wins," Madeline concluded simply. She pushed up her robe sleeves, taking a few steps into the room. The necklace around her neck felt warm; felt right.

The rest of the students moved to the sides of the room, up against the mirrors. The fireplace lit itself, a fire ignited behind Harry's figure, casting a tall shadow towards Madeline. It should've looked intimidating, but the girl in green was far more daunting than fire itself.

Fred watched closely. He wanted to run between the two, pull Madeline away and never come back, but the tight grip on his arm from his sister stopped him. Truly, he didn't have a doubt that Madeline could tell. Would tell.

"Neville," Madeline called, her eyes still fixed on Harry, "Care to count us in?"

"Y-Yeah," Neville stuttered, Hermione giving him a small push forwards.

Everyone watched Madeline with something akin to fear. No one in the room - not even Fred - had seen her like this. She was cold and distant, like nothing could touch her. Like she'd already won the fight.

"On your marks-"

"Just tell us when to go, Longbottom," Madeline cut him off, holding her wand out ready towards Harry. He did the same.

"Oh, alright- um… GO!"

"Exp-"

"Expelliarmus!'

A wand flew through the air, clattering against the mirror above Cho's head.

Everyone held their breath, staring at Madeline in shock. No one cheered.

Not only did Madeline disarm Harry Potter; she'd just proved she was stronger than him. Right in front of everyone who followed and believed him. Or at least, she'd proven herself a better dueller.

Thank you Isabelle Bisset.

"Congratulations," Ron snorted eventually, everyone's head snapping to him as he began stalking towards Madeline. He clapped his hands slowly and sarcastically, "This is what you wanted all along, huh?"

"Stop it Ron. She won."

"No, Harry! Don't you get it?!" Ron's face was turning red. How dare she ruin this all, "It was always about winning! That's what they always do! We were right in not telling her about-"

"Stop it!" Hermione interrupted, stalking forwards and grabbing Ron by his arm, "You're not doing anyone any favours right now!"

Madeline spared a single glance towards Fred, who was staring right back at her. She met his eyes, and had all the answers she needed.

"Why should I bother?! She's going to leave this room and tell-"

"I'm not going to tell Umbridge."

The room fell into silence once more, apart from Ron, who simply scoffed, "Of course you are."

"No, I'm not," Madeline continued calmly. She walked over to Cho, picking up Harry's wand as she continued, "I was never going to."

"Then why-"

Madeline walked over to Harry, handing him his wand as Harry stared at her, his mouth agape, "I wanted to know if you didn't trust me because of my house, or because of me. I have my answer."

Madeline began walking towards the door, her back turned to everyone. She didn't speak again until she reached the door, a hand on the knob as she turned to look at Harry one more time.

"Don't worry," Madeline kept her icy composure, "I'd never tell Umbridge anything."

And then, she was gone.

Last Year

It was the last time Madeline and Fred would see each other alone before the summer holidays. They'd found a secluded spot underneath a low-hanging tree on the Hogwarts grounds, surrounded by daisies and warm green grass. No one paid them a second glance as the two laid side-by-side, staring at each other.

"This is nice," Madeline mused, picking a daisy and putting it in Fred's hair, "There. Much better."

"Is this Madeline Bisset trying to be cute?"

"Shut up," Madeline laughed, but allowed Fred to catch her hand in his. She intertwined their fingers, letting the warm summer breeze bask over them.

It was the first time she'd laughed since the Third Task. They weren't calling it Cedric's death, not just yet.

"I like this, you know?" Madeline eventually admitted, "Just us. It feels right."

Fred smiled softly, "I know what you mean."

He could look into her eyes forever.

Don't cry.

"Maddie!"

Don't you dare cry.

"Maddie, wait."

Don't cry. Don't cry don't cry don't cry-

"Maddie," Fred grabbed her arm softly before she could put her Invisibility Cloak back on. He spun her around, turning her to him, "What the hell?"

Shit. I'm crying.

Madeline tried to pull away from Fred, but he just held her harder.

"Hey- stop it. Stop it," Fred pulled her into an alcove, away from prying eyes in case anyone decided to follow after him, "Maddie, I'm-"

"You don't get to call me that," Madeline sniffed, yet her tongue was still as sharp as a snakes, "Not anymore."

"Listen-"

"I've been driving myself crazy for months thinking you're hiding something from me!" Madeline tore herself out of Fred's grip, a fire burning in her chest despite the tears streaming down her face, "I thought I'd done something wrong, or that your parents hated me."

"Mads, I wasn't allowed to tell you about Dumbledore's Army," Fred rubbed his face in frustration. Why did everything have to come crumbling down now? He sighed, "Hermione jinxed the galleons. If we ever told-"

"I don't care about Dumbledore's Army!"

Madeline wiped her tears with her Invisibility Cloak as silence fell between them. It was now or never.

"I saw how you looked at me in there," Madeline spat through tears, "I don't care that Hermione or Harry or whoever didn't ask me to join you guys. What bothers me is that I'm never going to be anything different to you than what you think of my name."

"We've been through this-"

"And you lied, Fred!" Madeline shouted, "I saw the look in your eyes! You've never thought I was on the good side, did you?"

"I do-"

"You can repeat it as many times as you want, but your eyes don't lie," Madeline shook her head, almost whispering. This was heartbreak; she was sure of it. It was like drinking fire; it burned you from the inside out, and you never know when it'll end.

"I've tried to ignore it, but there's only so many months I can kid myself before I go crazy," Madeline continued, "I'm- I'm not in the business of putting myself in situations where I get hurt. I trusted you. You didn't trust me. You don't trust me. And- and I think it's better if we end it here. Now."

Fred felt a chill run through his body. He began shaking his head quickly, "No. No, Maddie."

"It's Madeline," she interrupted, "I'm done. It's over. We're done."

She didn't give him time to argue. She pulled the Invisibility Cloak over her head, and left before he could try to find her again.

He didn't need to see her tears anymore.

She didn't know how long it took her to get back to the Common Room. It could've been minutes, it could've been hours. What she did know is that she hadn't stopped crying since she'd left Fred in that corridor.

Heartbreak wasn't meant to go away in moments. She knew that. But knowing didn't make things easier.

As she ran through the Hogwarts corridors and halls, it was as if every moment with Fred flashed before her eyes. That time he'd given her a Canary Custard after she'd seen her Boggart for the first time, which lead her to explaining that she was terrified of becoming like her family (and look at her now), which lead him to ask her out for the first time.

When Cedric had encouraged her to date him. When she'd told Cedric that he brought something new out of her, something real. And that had lead to their first date in Hogsmeade; talking around a table in the Three Broomsticks as if they'd known each other their whole lives.

Their first kiss, on the Quidditch pitch while it rained around them. She'd been soaked to the bone, yet she'd never felt warmer.

She never got to say she loved him.

"You look terrible."

She hadn't realised anyone else was in the common room so late, but she should've known that none other than Draco Malfoy would somehow find her in her weakest moment.

She was lucky she stashed the Invisibility Cloak in her robes when she had, because the way Draco was examining her sent chills down her spine. He took one look at her dishevelled hair, wet cheeks and running makeup, and just knew.

"Shut up Ferret," Madeline grumbled, pulling her robe off herself and throwing it over a chair. She sat herself on the armchair next to the fire, taking a deep breath and burying her head between her hands.

The silence between the two Slytherins was comfortable. Madeline liked comfortable. She didn't need to put up a front, not now. Not for a Malfoy.

"So, what happened?" Draco eventually sighed, closing his book, "Did he break your heart or something like that?"

Madeline sniffed, rubbing her face and looking up at him for the first time, "Something like that."

"Are you okay?"

She hadn't expected Draco to ask her that. She didn't know if it was him, or the pent up emotions, but something inside her broke. No, she wasn't okay.

It took one shake of her head. The next thing she knew, Draco had his arms around her, her head pressed into his shoulder as he felt her tears hit the side of his neck. She didn't waste time wondering why the Slytherin prince would comfort her, and instead just let herself feel.

Once again, she lost track of time. Time was meant to be a healer, wasn't it? And yet there she was, crying her eyes out on Draco Malfoy of all people for Merlin knows how long. When she did finally pull away, it was with red eyes and wet cheeks, but she felt… Better. Not great, but better.

"Thanks," Madeline sniffed, "You didn't have to let me do that. You could've made fun of me, you know?"

"It's no fun when you're like this," Draco replied simply, handing her a handkerchief. He paused, "You're different from last year."

"Obviously."

"You have… Less of a spark," Draco admitted, "It's annoying seeing you lose yourself for a Weasley."

"I didn't lose myself," Madeline huffed, although she let Draco's words sit.

He… He had a point. She didn't remember the last time life hadn't felt like it was weighing on her shoulders. She was more serious; more grounded. She didn't know if it was a good thing.

"I like you better when you smile," Draco finished simply. He stood up, holding his hand out to Madeline, "You still look like crap. You should get to bed."

"Only if you sleep, too," Madeline retorted, but allowed him to pull her up, "I catch you down here in the night more often than not. You're starting to wrinkle, Malfoy."

"Shut it, Bisset."

He managed to pull a smile from her face after all.

She didn't tell anyone why her and Fred had broken up.

She was going to keep her word. Even if she couldn't stand with them, she wanted Harry and his friends to succeed. If they could prevent a war from happening, it meant she didn't have to get involved.

The moment Daphne saw her the next morning, she was ready to raise hell.

"It's fine, Daph," Madeline eventually cooled her down, the entire common room now aware of Madeline's breakup, "I broke up with him. It's fine."

"Glad you realised you deserve better," Daphne huffed, crossing her arms, "But you're not getting out of it this easily. Come on, let me help you get rid of those dark circles. I don't want anyone thinking you've been crying over a Weasley.

If only she knew.

Theo was the more mellow of the two friends, of course. He simply hugged Madeline, whispered that he'd kill the boy if she ever needed him to, and the trio went on their merry way to breakfast.

The ache in her heart was still there, even when Evie Sterling slid her an extra pumpkin pastie, or when Tracy made sure the entire Slytherin Quidditch team glared daggers at anyone with a Gryffindor tie. It felt nice to have people on her side, supporting her. Even Draco and his friends held off any snide comments for the entire day (they came back full-force by lunch the next day, of course).

She didn't see Fred for days. In fact, she was sure he was avoiding her. 'As he should' Daphne would say, and Madeline agreed, actually.

But she needed closure. For herself. She needed to say goodbye, and there was one thing that came to mind.

She waited until everyone was asleep, her desk dimly lit by a candle. She could feel her hand shake as she took the quill into her hands. Cho had said it had helped with Cedric. Maybe it would also help with heartbreak.

She dipped the quill in her ink, a special gold one she'd gotten for Christmas. It was only for the most important letters; the ones she was meant to sign once she became Head of The Family. And yet, here she was, wasting it on a boy.

Oh, who was she kidding. Fred was more than just a boy.

She took the quill to her parchment, and began writing;

Dear Freddie,

It's strange to write to you when you're just a few floors away. In my head, I'd march right up to your common room and tell you exactly how I felt. But I can't.

You stole my tongue and took my tastebuds from me, and yet I can still taste your words on my lips.

I heard that after four months, it isn't a crush. It's love. It took me too long to realise that. I'm not open and warm like you. I don't feel love in every corner of my life like you do. Where you have a mansion, I have a shoebox. I know you didn't mean to punish me for that.

Thank you for holding my hand and dancing with me, with or without occasion. Thank you for making me feel free, even for a moment. Thank you for teaching me how to fly, even if I'm hopeless at it. Thank you for my first kiss, and my first date, and my first heartbreak.

Thank you for not trusting me. It's a weird thing to say, but I know who I am, and if you couldn't see it after all this time, then it wasn't my fault.

Time will heal me.

Love, Maddie.

She burnt the letter in the candle's flame.

She was going to move on.