Chapter Eleven
They say nothing on this earth travels faster than winds and rumours, but they clearly hadn't heard of the evening edition of the Imperial Chronicle. The story of Evander the dhampir and his spectacular trial in the market town of Celdic was all over the empire and beyond faster than you could start sneezing in a room packed with pepper. Principal Van Dyck decided to get on top of the news as fast as he could, and arranged a school wide assembly to discuss the news before panic could spread among the students. It wasn't every day after all that you learned that one of your classmates was potentially a blood drinking fiend. Evander barely had time to warn the rest of his classmates before the principal informed him of his decision and asked him if he would speak to reassure the student body. To his surprise, half of class seven's group B already seemed to be aware of his news. Namely, Jusis and Gaius, who seemed a little guilty for some reason, but unsurprised. Only Fie and Machias were truly in the dark about his heritage.
Machias reacted with typical disbelief that changed little in the face of the fact the rest of his classmates and even his instructor swore it was true. He wasn't even remotely convinced until Evander handed over his Arcus unit and proceeded to fade out of sight without the aid of orbal technology. After that he still seemed a little sceptical, but admitted there was something bizarre about Evander, and him being half fiend was as good as an explanation as any pending further investigation. Fie on the other hand seemed largely uninterested, greeting the news with one of her trademark apathetic shrugs. When pressed for some sort of reaction, anything really, all she could say was that it was good to find out Evander was only as fast as her because he was cheating and now, she could go back to napping instead of training to beat him. Whatever Class Seven thought of the news, it was soon to become a school wide issue, as those students who weren't already aware of the story breaking in the Imperial Chronicle were about to find out at the assembly.
The auditorium was packed to the brim with the entire student body, even those who usually played hooky had turned up to hear this. The idea that the principal, the staunch war hero himself, not only believed this story, but was going to address it in person, was enough to ensure attendance. Absolute silence fell over the crowd as Principal Van Dyck took the stage, with Evander trailing behind him, and cleared his throat.
"Students of Thors Military Academy!" he called out, "I told you at the start of the year that you should arise and become the foundation of this world and I am pleased to say most of you have taken to this mission admirably. That's why I have called you here today, to address the rumours surrounding a student here before anyone stumbles at the first hurdle. On the battlefield, and life in general, adapting to changing circumstances quickly and accurately is crucial to victory. That is why I ask you to keep an open mind about what I am about to tell you. Some of you have read that Evander, a first-year student here, is a dhampir, still more have heard this news from friends and family. I will tell you sincerely and without any obfuscations or half-truths that this fact is absolutely true. Evander is a dhampir, though only through an accident of birth and no wickedness of his own. I have been aware of his nature since before his enrolment and have imposed heavy strictures on his presence here. He has sworn to never drink blood again and I have taken his word, and that of his instructor, that this is an oath he will keep. Rest assured, the situation is being fully monitored and no student is any danger."
"This is outrageous!" a young blonde aristocrat leapt to his feet, "I was under the impression Thors Military Academy was a prestigious, respectable school, foreigners and gutter scum radicals notwithstanding, but to allow some sort of filthy half-breed among us is a bridge too far!"
"Your objection noted, mister Hyarms," cut in the principal firmly, "but will not change anything, except perhaps others' opinions towards you. Evander is a student here, and is here to stay. In a moment I will allow him to speak for himself but before that, I would remind all of you that this a military academy and I expect a certain level of discipline from its students at all times. I will take no further heckling or ridiculous posturing. Is that clear?" Patrick Hyarms spluttered incomprehensibly for a moment, but then sank back into his seat, nodding, but looking unhappy about it. "Thank you, now, Mister Evander, if you would speak to the student body?" Principal Van Dyck stood aside and let Evander take centre stage.
"So, uh yeah. I'm a dhampir," he said rather lamely, "I don't drink blood anymore, I give my word on the subject. Um, any questions?" I really should have been given some time to prepare for this, he thought, this is so awkward. A first-year aristocratic student with purple hair stood up to address him and Evander flinched with pain as psychic insight tried to tell him her name was something to do with iron. Ferrous, it was saying.
"You said you don't drink blood anymore," she pointed out, "does that mean you did drink blood before?"
"Yes," admitted Evander, "I was addicted to it. Even hurt some people badly drinking it. I'm not going to hide that, but like I've said, I've quit now, and forever. Do you have any other questions?"
"Yes," said Ferris, "does vampire blood count as a performance enhancing drug and is that how Alisa is so good at lacrosse?"
"Excuse me!?" yelled Alisa from the audience. Evander looked just as horrified.
"Um I wouldn't have a clue. I don't let people drink my blood," he eventually spluttered out. "But I'm sure Alisa plays on her own merits regardless. Also, I'm pretty sure my blood doesn't work as hair dye so she wouldn't be interested."
"You little_!" Alisa was cut off when Laura squeezed her arm to remind her not to yell obscenities in a crowded auditorium.
"But you drank other people's blood," pointed out a pink-haired first year, "isn't it only fair that people should drink your blood?"
"Why would they even want to? Miss…?" asked Evander, looking baffled.
"Linde," answered the girl.
"You are not!" protested a nearly identical looking girl.
"Vivi," corrected the first girl smoothly, "and I thought vampire blood had anti-aging properties."
"Aren't you a bit young to be worried about that? I'd have thought that was more Instructor Sara's thing," said Evander.
"I'm not old!" yelled Instructor Sara from the back of the room, "boy, you sure are asking for it during our next combat practice!"
"She threatened me and you're all witnesses!" joked Evander, causing a smattering of laughter. "Anyway, any other questions?"
"Yes," a second-year noble student raised his hand, "Fidelio of the Photography Club, I always thought that vampires didn't appear on camera. How is it that there is a photo of you on the front page of the Imperial Chronicle?"
"That's a myth. We're solid, so we appear on cameras and in mirrors, why wouldn't we? Dhampirs aren't ghosts. I can turn invisible though, full disclosure, though I'm not in the habit of doing it because it's exhausting and makes my thirst unbearable."
"I see," said Fidelio, "could I arrange for you to come by the Photography Club at some point to discuss taking your photo? I find the artistic sensibilities of a photo of a vampire standing in the sunlight to be very intriguing. It might even win me a prize."
"Uh sure," said Evander, "I can find the time. Does anyone else want to book me in for something weird?"
"I want, no, I need an interview with a vampire!" said Munk, practically drooling at the thought, "that's the greatest material to come out of Class Seven yet!"
"I don't even want to know," said Evander, rolling his eyes, "but sure. I'll do an interview. Any other questions?"
"Can you see through walls?" asked a first-year commoner student in a beanie, "I need to know for… research purposes."
"I see through walls the same way anyone else does, through windows," said Evander, "sorry to burst your creepy bubble, Rex. Can I have some sane questions please?" A first year brunette Evander recognised from his disastrous introduction to the Occult Research Society raised her hand. That's the girl who almost saw me get incinerated by steam, he thought. "Yes? Miss…?"
"Colette," she answered, "are you really a vampire?"
"A dhampir, but yes. Why?"
"I always thought that vampires were supposed to be ultra fashionable," she said, "you really need to work on your image. Ooh, can I design your new wardrobe!?" she asked, "that'd really help me make a name in the fashion industry!"
"If you want to that badly, sure, I guess," said Evander, wondering just what sort of hell he'd signed himself up for.
"Is it true you won ten million mira at the races?" asked Crow Armbrust.
"I don't do that anymore man," said Evander, annoyed, "when are people going to stop bringing that up?"
"When it stops being awesome," said Crow, "hey, who do you have for the race at_" he trailed off as Towa glared at him and then mouthed 'later man.'
"Alright, I think that's enough," said Principal Van Dyck, "you've all got classes to get back to. I'm sure if you want to ask additional questions, Evander will make himself available. That'll be all for today's assembly. Dismissed!"
Scene Break Here
First period had been cancelled in order for the emergency assembly to take place so after they were dismissed Class Seven were headed for their second period class instead, Military Science. Evander still had a bit of unfinished business to take care of before class started however and flagged down Machias for a private chat.
"Hey Machias, can we talk for a second?" asked Evander, "It's kind of important."
"This isn't a pretext to lure me somewhere and drink my blood, is it?" asked Machias.
"Hey! I told you I don't do that anymore," said Evander, looking hurt.
"Alright then, I'll take your word for it. But make it quick, I don't want to be late for class."
"I get you," said Evander, "Major Neithardt is a terror, I arrived late to his class once and he made me drop and do a hundred push ups all while lecturing me that arriving late to a battlefield would get me court martialled."
"That's not what I meant," said Machias, "you ought to take school more seriously Evander, whether you plan on joining the military or not." And things were back to normal, only Machias could go from accusing you of being a blood drinking fiend to lecturing you about your education in the space of a single conversation.
"At least I don't sleep in class like Fie does," pointed out Evander.
"That's not really to your credit," said Machias, "considering that you barely sleep at all. Now what did you want to talk about?"
"Alright here goes it," said Evander, taking a deep breath, "I wanted you to hear it from me before it got to you second hand. I uh, recently found that through my birth mother than I'm related to a Viscount and therefore technically a noble. I know you hate nobles, so I wanted to be upfront about it. I hope we can still be friends."
"Uh," Machias looked taken aback, "were you seriously more worried about telling me you're a noble than that you're a dhampir?"
"Yes? Well you don't rant about dhampirs all the time and you do about nobles so_"
"I do not rant! I merely state extremely valid points on the subject with a certain frequency! Forget about it. Listen Evander, I appreciate your forthrightness, at least you didn't try and conceal it from me."
"Oh. You found out about Rean too huh?"
"Yes! He lied straight to my face! Not a drop of noble blood he said!"
"Well technically that was true. He is adopted. So, it's more like he bent the truth than_"
"The truth is a straight-line Evander," said Machias stiffly, "the moment you bend it, it becomes a lie. He is a noble, blood or not and he neglected to mention this is response to a direct question. At least you told me as soon as you found out, and besides, the nobility will never except a dhampir among them. You might as well still be a commoner as far as I'm concerned. So yes, we can still maintain a cordial relationship. Which is more than I say for Rean."
"Oh brother," said Evander, "I'm going to stay well out of this one. Now I've just got to tell Jusis. It'll be the last time he calls me a farming simpleton!"
Scene Break Here
Evander caught up with Jusis outside the Military Science classroom where the rest of Class Seven was waiting and gleefully told the young aristocrat that he, Evander of simple farming background, was now nobility, and always had been.
"If that is a jest, Evander, it is a poor one," said Jusis, "I would not make such claims so loudly, less you greatly offend the honour of some Erebonian lordling far less tolerant than I."
"I'm completely serious!" insisted Evander, "I found the last letter my mother left me before she died and she told me she was a Vander!" Jusis paused, narrowing his eyes.
"Evander Vander?"
"I know, I know. It's ridiculous. Everyone else laughed too. But it's true. I wouldn't lie about this."
"Hmm," Jusis thought for a moment, "very well, I believe you. You do realise the Vander family have guarded the royal family for generations? Ever since Roland Vander himself? The news that a dhampir shares their blood could do them a lot of damage. Are you of a mind to contact your surviving family?"
"Um, I'm not sure. I wouldn't even know where to start. I know about two uncles, but I assume I can't just write to them out of the blue."
"That would make your mother the sister of Mateus and Zech's Vander? The church sister who died of a sudden illness?"
"Yes, or rather she died twice," said Evander cryptically.
"Then you also have two cousins I know of. Mueller and Kurt Vander. Mueller is extremely busy in his job a royal bodyguard, but if you like I could reach out to your younger cousin Kurt, vouching for you legitimacy and seeing if he wants to meet?"
"Yes! That'd be great! But, uh, if you'll excuse the suspicion, why exactly would you help me? We're not exactly close. I only told you in the first place to gloat, something I feel a right ass about now."
"You can consider my help as a way of formally apologising," said Jusis stiffly, "I'll admit, even though I long suspected you of being a dhampir, a part of me did not believe in such things until it was confirmed before the whole school just now. I regret to say that I arranged for you to enter the Trista Chapel without fully being aware of what it might do to you. You may well have turned straight to dust, and then I would have had your death on my hands, out of nothing more than my reckless curiosity. I have no excuse for such rash behaviour, for risking your life for my personal satisfaction as to your nature."
"Oh, so it was you who put Rean up to it?" Evander thought for a moment and then shrugged, "It's okay. For all you know I was a blood sucking fiend. I didn't particularly enjoy the experience, but I can understand why you felt it necessary. Let's put it behind us."
"Truly? I have no right to expect such magnanimity from someone I could have potentially destroyed but if that is your wish. Very well, we shall speak of it no more."
"Alright cadets!" Instructor Neithardt strolled down the hallway, interrupting any further conversation, "look lively! It's going to be a tough lesson today, and I want everyone one hundred percent focussed. There is to be no discussion of this vampire business in my class, is that clear? If you want to discuss fairytales, do it on your own time. Fall in and take your seats!"
Scene Break Here
It wouldn't be entirely fair to say Evander was tuning out Major Neithardt's lecture, that was more of Fie's thing. It was better to say he was listening with half an ear while he tried out his new name in his notebook. So he was vaguely aware of the topic being discussed, that of the four developments that revolutionised warfare. Besides, it wasn't like Neithardt was ever going to be pick him to answer a question right? Every Instructor at Thors had a horror story about what could go wrong by asking Evander anything at all, let alone a serious question.
Evander Vander? No, ridiculous. Add my father's name? Evander Cantrell-Vander? No wait, the noble title would have to go first so Evander Vander-Cantrell? Still ridiculous. Maybe I should just stick with one name, all mysterious and cool. How about_
"Evander!" snapped Major Neithardt, "I hope those copious notes you're taking have something to do with this subject."
"Evander's taking notes?" asked Fie, then poked her tongue at him, "neeeeeeeeeerd!"
"Oh go back to sleep," said Evander, "we all know Emma's the nerd."
"Thank you!" said Emma.
"That wasn't a compliment," said Alisa.
"I took it as one though."
"You would take a slap in the face as a compliment though," pointed out Alisa. "You're too nice Emma."
"Silence!" roared Major Neithardt, "this isn't a noble salon and I'll not have this lesson descend into a gossip session! Evander, I understand you've been receiving extra instruction in History_"
"Not for much longer," said Evander, narrowing his eyes, "I've got a Instructor I'd like to severely beat!"
"Evander!" said Emma, looking scandalised.
"Relax, it's only Instructor Thomas," said Evander.
"That makes it okay then," smirked Fie.
"Fie!" added Emma, glaring at her instead.
"As I was saying," resumed the instructor, "I'd like you to slightly more recent history for a moment. What was the fourth key development that revolutionised warfare?"
"Give me a second," said Evander.
"Either you know it or you don't," said Major Neithardt.
"No, I can use physics outsight to deduce it," said Evander, frowning in concentration. "Aha! What we have here is a failure to communicate! The answer is telepathy! Mind to mind communication!"
"I'll tell you what didn't revolutionise the battlefield, cadet Evander, poor information!" snapped the instructor, "in future leave that psychic mumbo jumbo at the door if it doesn't work accurately!"
"Isn't it cheating?" said Machias, "shouldn't you just ban it entirely?"
"This is military science cadet Regnitz! In this class, as in warfare, we take any advantage available! But a useless psychic has no place in this room or the battlefield! Does anyone know the right answer? Schwarzer!"
"Yes sir!" said Rean, "the answer is Orbal Communication."
"Correct!"
"Teacher's pet," scoffed Fie.
"Yeah, neeeeeerd!" said Evander.
"That's my line, give it back," said Fie.
"Declined."
"I'll make you give it back."
"Oh please you couldn't_"
"Cadet Evander," said Major Neithardt, "report to the infirmary, you're bleeding."
"See?" said Fie.
"That wasn't you!" groused Evander, "I just had a schizoid embolism is all," he explained. Trying to deduce the answer to the question with his psychic insight had caused the blood vessels in his nose to rupture and hadn't even gotten him the right answer. Evander felt like he'd been rooked.
"Cadet Worzel, please escort Cadet Evander to the infirmary to ensure he doesn't get lost or blow something up on the way," said Major Neithardt.
"Oh ye of little faith," said Evander, "come on Gaius," he said as he walked out the room, "let's go juggle explosives on the way."
"Finally!" said Jusis after they'd left the room, "now we might finally get something done!"
"Don't act like you're the only one who wants to learn," snapped Machias, "I didn't see you stepping in to stop Evander earlier."
"Stepping into anything involving Evander is like stepping on a landmine," observed Jusis coolly, "but by all means, next time feel free to go ahead and try."
Scene Break Here
"So Gaius," started Evander as they walked down the hall together, "feel like sharing why you weren't surprised to find out I was a dhampir? You're not from a secret clan of vampire hunters, are you? Training up in the Nord Highlands?"
"Not at all," said Gaius chuckling, "I'm afraid that's all a lot more exciting than what I actually get up to in the highlands. I'm more likely to fight ornery sheep than vampires. It's just my father and I came close to a vampire out in the hills one day, and the memory stuck with me ever since. I sensed the same thing, only weaker, when I met you. Speaking of which, this makes a good time to ask. I don't suppose you know how many of your kind are in the Nord Highlands?"
"Sorry, but no. I've only ever met other dhampirs, and not full vampires. And from what we've learned about your homeland in class I wouldn't have thought there was anywhere good for vampires to hide in the highlands anyhow. The sun does turn full vampires to dust, and I can't imagine you have a lot of abandoned structures for them to lurk in up there."
"Not, but there is one place, an old quarry with a truly fell reputation. My people have associated with all sorts of monsters, vampires included. If they are anywhere in Nord, it's there."
"I'll stay well clear then," said Evander, "I imagine any true vampire would be offended by presence as some sort of half human runt."
"I'd avoid Saint Arkh too then. Linde in the art club mentioned some story about the Black Widow that lives there, sounded an awful lot like a vampire."
"Thanks for the tip, and for making sure I didn't blow anything up," said Evander as they stopped outside the infirmary. "See you later."
"Wait," said Gaius, "I wanted a chance to apologise for something I did earlier."
"Oh, were you in on the church thing too? Jusis already apologised for that. I'll tell you the same thing I told him. It's all water under the bridge. Forget about it."
"But we could have killed you."
"But you didn't. No sense dwelling on it. If I dwelt on all the people, I'd almost killed back during the bad days of my addiction I'd never get any peace. I didn't know any better at the time, neither did you. Let's move on."
"That's remarkably well-adjusted of you, Evander."
"Don't sound so surprised!" laughed Evander, "now see you. I've got to thrill Instructor Beatrix with some miracles of modern health."
Scene Break Here
Instructor Beatrix insisted on performing a full check up on Evander, now that the fact he was a Dhampir was out in the open she wanted to be sure he was healthy enough, in his own way, to function at the academy. It took so long that by the time Evander left, with his head ringing with lectures on eating better and getting more sleep, he was late to the next class, a joint Orbal Computer Primer with the boys of Class One. He blew in through the doors, flipping a jaunty wave to Instructor Makarov.
"Sorry I'm late teach! How's my favourite hobo of an instructor doing lately?"
"Worse since you arrived, kid," growled Instructor Makarov, "pick a computer and work through your exercise book. And I don't care if you're already technically half dead, you'll be all the way if you break one of these things."
"That happened one time! I swear, you mistake a computer for an orbal stove once and they never let you forget it!" Shaking his head at the injustice of it all, like the book burning incident all over again in fact, Evander wandered over to the back of the room to see what his classmates were up to. Gaius, Rean, and Elliot were hanging out around one computer, while Jusis and Machias were doing their own thing down the front. As Evander approached, the blonde aristocrat who'd protested his presence at the academy, Patrick Hyarms, strutted over to Rean and made some sort of pompous overture about the third floor salon. Seeing Rean was obviously uncomfortable, Evander did what he did best, jumped in and make a fool out of himself.
"Patrick my old chum!" he yelled, "how have you been!? I haven't seen you since we went out drinking blood together in the old days!"
"How dare you!" snapped Patrick, "how dare you insinuate some tenuous connection between us! I am a human of impeccable breeding while you are a filthy mongrel crossbreed!"
"Are you sure? Because Machias is always telling me that the nobility are a bunch of leeches, so I figured we had something in common, was I mistaken?" asked Evander, his face a picture of mock sincerity.
"Enough! I will not have my honour impugned by the likes of half breeds and rabid commoners! Would that you were of slightly higher social standing that I could challenge you to a duel without irreparably staining my reputation. As is stands, I shall simply order my butler to give you a good thrashing in the near future!"
"I don't think you can do that," said Evander, then turned to look at his classmates, "he can't do that? Can he?"
"He couldn't," said Elliot, "I mean, he could, but he shouldn't. I mean, he could, but he wouldn't. I mean, ugh, how do you get us into these situations!?"
"Is this how Erebonian lords settle their disputes?" wondered Gaius, "truly a strange custom."
"Silence, you, you… foreigner!" spat Patrick, like the word was a vile epithet. "Evander barely even qualifies as a commoner, let alone a lord! But you have a point. Even my butler would be tarnished by scuffling with such a degenerate."
"But I'm a noble too!" protested Evander immediately forgetting Jusis' advice about keeping his heritage secret, "my uncle is a Viscount!"
"Where?" scoffed Patrick, "in hell? Babble your lies to the fiends, maybe they'll listen to one of their own!"
"Enough," said Jusis, appearing much like a fiend himself, out of a thin air, glowering at everyone, "some of us are trying to study here. Such a scene is unbecoming of nobility. Even if you are only a third son, Patrick of House Hyarms, you should know better. This is no place to be recruiting new members to your cause."
"Jusis Albarea!" Patrick sounded unsure whether he was more enraged or confused by the other boy's sudden appearance, "perhaps if you would make a token appearance at the salon I wouldn't be reduced to recruiting the sons of minor barons to round out the numbers. But speaking of unbecoming of nobility, associating with commoners, foreigners and half-bloods speaks far worse of you than anything I could do."
"Who I spend my time with is my own business," said Jusis, "bite your tongue lest you forget yourself. I have no interest in the petty politics of the salon, or for your attempts to poach my classmates for your nonsensical schemes."
"Very well, I see when I'm fighting a lost cause," scoffed Patrick, "think on my offer Rean, before it's too late to salvage your reputation. And as for you half breed," he glared at Evander, "watch yourself." He stalked off in high dudgeon, much to Elliot's relief, the boy letting out a quiet sigh.
"Did you have to provoke him like that?" he asked Evander, "do you want him to sic his butler on you?"
"No," said Evander, "I've seen his butler. Celestin, right? He moves like a fighter, I imagine he'd give me a run for my mira.
"Celestin works in the upper-class dormitory," said Jusis, "pray tell us why you were hanging around there?"
"I was looking for a maid, Lotte, I think, she put up a notice asking for examples of upper class dishes she could cook," explained Evander.
"And what help would your rustic farmer's cuisine be to her?" inquired Jusis.
"Hey! I can cook posh food too!" protested Evander, "just because I didn't whip up a gourmet feast for you doesn't mean I couldn't do it at all!"
"You've been drinking from the well of lunacy again," sniffed Jusis, turning to leave.
"Wait," said Rean, "thanks for getting involved Jusis, I wasn't sure how to turn him down without offending him."
"What am I?" demanded Evander, "chopped liver!?"
"He said without offending him," pointed out Gaius, "I don't think what you did qualified."
"I was merely trying to reduce the racket back here to a dull roar so I could concentrate once more," said Jusis, "any help I rendered you was purely unintentional. But…I understand I might have caused you some trouble during your field study. Certain actions taken by… no. Forget it." He walked off, unwilling, or unable perhaps, to say anymore on the subject. But his meaning was clear enough.
"He shouldn't blame himself for that," said Rean quietly, "the conspiracy in Celdic wasn't his doing."
"Well yeah," said Elliot, "but it's not like a Colonel of The Kreuzen Provincial Army just woke up and decided all that was a good idea right? It had to come from higher up. Maybe that's why Jusis feels responsible."
"And I thought Group A had a hard time keeping Jusis and Machias from killing each other in Parm," said Gaius, "sounds like you lot had an even worse time than we did."
"Eh, it wasn't so bad," said Evander with a shrug, "apart from when I got locked up. Or when I was attacked with a gas grenade. Or put on trial for vampirism. Okay, you're right, it was crap. Do any of you know how to work these computers? I can just about turn the things on, but then they make these funny noises and spook me out."
"I know you're not to supposed to try and bake cakes with them," said Rean, grinning, "that's for sure."
"That was one time!"
Scene Break Here
Evander wasn't exactly the most up to date on social subtleties, but even he'd noticed Instructor Thomas had been working the Vander family into almost every lecture since they'd started his remedial history lessons. Either he just really liked the Vanders, or he'd known from the beginning who Evander was related to. Evander would put money on it being the second one. So he was putting the clues together, who would know he was dhampir before anyone else and therefore try to keep an eye on him? A member of the church? Who would know his mother's identity as a travelling vampire slayer for the Septian church? Again, a member of the church. And clearly a high ranking one. He kind of liked doing this kind of detective work without having psychic powers. Maybe he could call himself the mental defective detective or something. But the Starving Leech Detective Agency could always open on another night, right now he had a bone to pick with a certain secretive instructor.
He burst into the library from their scheduled remedial history lesson, pointed an accusatory finger at Instructor Thomas and bellowed at the top of his lungs.
"Reveal your true name and purpose!"
Instructor Thomas seemed unfazed, merely marking his page in the book his reading and quietly snapping it shut before peering at Evander owlishly, as though seeing him for the first time.
"Such a dramatic entry! Truly the fire of your youth still burns strong in your half-dead heart!" he waxed lyrically, totally throwing Evander off guard before going in for the kill, "why don't you reveal your true name and purpose, dhampir?"
"Evander Vander," he blurted out, seemingly despite himself, "I want to be a farmer."
"Ah, so you inherited something from your father after all?" observed Instructor Thomas, "I hear he was a good man. It was a true shame he was drawn into the unseen side of the world in such a tragic fashion. You have my condolences for his loss, and that of your mother, faithful servant of the church that she was."
"So you did know, all along," said Evander, "and you were spying on me on the whole time."
"Not spying. Merely watching."
"That's the same thing!"
"Not quite. Spying implies malicious intent. My superiors may have believed you to be a risk, but I always thought your human blood would out. Let's say I was keeping an eye on you. For your own good."
"Keeping me occupied all night, especially on the half-moon. In case I lost control and attacked someone. That's for my own good? You clearly didn't trust me! I gave my word! Not one drop!"
"You are not the first to make such a promise, and not necessarily in regard to blood either. There are forces stronger than even your word. Forces even you would bow to, if they acted upon you."
"Are you talking about the vampire who turned my mother?" asked Evander.
"The Black Widow of Saint Arkh, yes," said Instructor Thomas, "if she was not already aware of your survival, she certainly will be now. She will likely try to influence you, play on her relationship as your vampiric mother."
"I already have a mother," said Evander firmly, "and lost another. I don't need a third, two is enough for anyone. I can assure you, she won't get to me that way."
"Would you destroy her, if you came across her?" Evander hesitated, and that was all the answer Instructor Thomas needed. He smiled, "I thought not. Do not be ashamed of your inability to immediately answer in the affirmative. Bloodlust in one of your condition would be…worrisome. It is good you hesitate. You do not need to destroy her, but do not listen to her."
"Who are you!?" demanded Evander.
"A humble teacher of history," smirked Instructor Thomas, "if the content of my lessons are to be believed anyhow."
"Yeah, well somehow I don't think I'll be needing your lessons anymore," said Evander. "Starting now. I reckon I've caught up to the class now, so I'll be going."
"Evander, you've more than caught up," laughed the instructor, "do you realise that you've spent a month pulling all nighters on top of your ordinary lessons? You haven't needed remedial history for a long time. You're an exceptional student Evander."
"What!? I could have left ages ago!?"
"Well yes, but then I would have thought less of you."
"Oh wow, what a deterrent!" scoffed Evander. "Have a nice night, you whack job, and tell whatever nutters you work for that I'll keep my word, not one drop." Evander stalked out of the library, entirely unaware there'd been a witness to their confrontation. Father Thomas was very good at what he did, and Sister Rosine had been hidden even from Evander's vampiric senses. She stepped out of the shadows shrouding the shelves and shook her head.
"As much as I admire his spirit, I can't believe the insolence of that boy," she said. "To speak to anyone in that manner, let alone an instructor!"
"Oh let him be, he's had a hard time," laughed the instructor, "and I noticed you've started referring to him as a human now."
"He has undergone the ordeal," pointed out Sister Rosine, "to address him as otherwise would be an insult to my own beliefs."
"Is that the only reason?" Rosine shifted uncomfortably.
"Well, not that I'd encourage such behaviour, but his uh… fiery personality makes it hard for me to see him as a leech. I'd always imagined the undead to be cold and lifeless. Evander is almost…vibrant."
"Indeed, there is a light in him, despite his dark blood. A light he will need before the end, if things follow the course. But now I have no one to talk to about history, will you take his place Sister Rosine?"
"I uh, forgot to sweep the front steps of the church," said Rosine, "so sorry, got to go!"
"Maybe next time?" he called after her hopefully, "no? Such a shame."
Scene Break Here
It was good that Evander had freed his nights up, because he had more to do than ever. First on his agenda was learning a skill from scratch, one his bloodline gave him no advantage in. In fact, he decided in order to truly impress Laura it should be a skill he actually had a disadvantage in learning. After a quick brainstorm he came up with two likely contenders. The first was learning to ride a horse. Evander hated most animals, and the feeling was mutual, even with his new enchanted bracelet which Evander got the feeling hadn't been made to work on animals. Second was learning how to swim, which he understood required some sort of technique he could overcome with brute strength and lightning speed. It would take some sort of learning, not to mention overcoming his fear of water. The only problem with learning how to swim was that Laura was in the swimming club, and he kind of wanted to keep his ambitions secret until he was ready to show off his new skill. He knew it was silly, and she wouldn't care either way, but he hadn't gotten over his ill-fated love of surprising people. So he was going to put swimming on the backburner until he found another member of the swimming club to approach.
Riding a horse was much easier to pursue from the outset, because he knew Jusis was in the Riding Club and had the rather strange idea that the noble boy would drop everything to help him out. He was of course, as Jusis had put it, drinking deep from the well of lunacy. As he found out when he ambushed Jusis after a day of classes and practically demanded to provided with riding lessons. Jusis merely cracked one sardonic eyebrow and sighed at his request.
"Do I look like Rean to you?" he asked, "I'm not in the habit of providing favours or sharing my time frivolously. And before you entreat that I owe you, I have already worked to clearing that debt."
"I wasn't going to say that," said Evander, pouting, "you shouldn't need to be forced into it. Come on, it'll be fun!"
"I suggest you find Sister Ornella and ask to her define 'fun' for you," said Jusis, "because your understanding of the word is clearly warped. The idea of trying to teach a skittish lunatic anything is far from fun."
"Skittish lunatic? Surely the horses aren't that wild? And surely they're already used to riders?"
"I was referring to you."
"Oh ha, ha!"
"Do you see me laughing? You nearly killed Captain Lambert just by being in the vicinity of his horse last time, I'm not being responsible for another of your lunatic escapades. I can see it now, 'first year student loses every horse in stable, expulsion recommended.'"
"Come on! Don't be a flatliner! Can't we just find a really old, calm, horse that loves everyone and let me learn with that one?"
"Can't you find another patsy to take part in your mad schemes? I recommend Rean, he knows how to ride a horse."
"Yeah, but I don't want to bother him. He's got a lot going on with all his student council work and Instructor Sara using him as a slave. I wouldn't want to waste what little time he has left to himself."
"But you would waste my time?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Then choose your words more carefully in future. I haven't time to indulge your sudden interest in horsemanship, which I'm sure is only in the pursuit some other, more obscure scheme that will blow up in your face."
"Maybe I should ask Machias to teach me?" mused Evander, a crafty expression on his face giving away his obvious attempt to manipulate Jusis.
"Don't try social gambits on me, Evander, you're simply terrible at them," scoffed Jusis, "besides Machias won't even ride a train if he thinks a noble was on it, let alone a horse. You're barking up the wrong tree."
"Ugh! Well then who can teach me how to ride a horse!?"
"Laura_"
"Declined. Who else?"
"Gaius."
"You're a genius Jusis! Gaius! He probably rides horses all over the Nord Highlands! Why didn't I think of him earlier!?"
"Probably because you have some fixation with bothering me," said Jusis, "but I'm glad you've settled on Gaius, because Lambert is a second year and I wouldn't have you bothering him with your silly requests. Aidios forbid he might actually invite you to join the riding club and I'd lose what little peace I have from you."
"Oh yeah, I'd hate to intrude on you two noble lords sitting there talking about how great horses are," said Evander rolling his eyes. "Did you consider how boring I'd find that?"
"It's not boring," said Jusis, not sure why he was defending his interest to this ridiculous cretin, "and it's not just the two of us. Paula is there too."
"Could she teach me? In case Gaius says no?"
"Ha! She can barely even sit astride a horse without having a panic attack yet. She's okay at looking after them, but actually riding them? I'm afraid you'd have a hard time learning anything from her."
"Oh come on! She can't be that bad!"
"She's about half as bad as you," said Jusis, striding off, "make of that what you will." He resisted the urge to look bad, knowing Evander would be standing there with a puzzled expression, trying to figure out if he'd been insulted or not.
"Half as bad as me?" muttered Evander, "but I'm not bad am I? So she's good then? Ugh, I hate riddles! I'm just going to find her."
Scene Break Here
Since he didn't want to give himself a brain haemorrhage trying to use his severely restricted psychic abilities to find Paula, Evander was reduced to using detective work again. He figured this Paula must be a commoner, considering how dismissive Jusis was towards her. Well, Jusis was dismissive towards everyone in general, but he was more pretentious about it when he was dismissing fellow nobles. The lack of verbal dancing implied he was taking about someone who couldn't challenge him to an honour duel at the drop of a hat, and therefore a commoner. So a good place to start would be the lower class dorm. Once there he could just ambush someone and ask where this Paula character was. Surely they'd tell him that, if only to get rid of him. He often had that effect on people after all. So he burst through the front doors of the lower class dormitory and quickly assessed his options.
That Vivi girl from the school assembly was there, reading the student notice board, and Evander figured she seemed friendly enough. After all, if she was going to loudly ask about drinking vampire blood in front of the whole school, she couldn't exactly be shy. He walked over to her and waved to get her attention.
"Hey Vivi, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, but it's Linde actually," she said.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's Vivi," said Evander absently.
"What do you mean? I'm Linde!"
"I don't think so. Linde is supposed to be a painter in the Art Club with Gaius. If you were Linde I'd be able to smell paint on you."
"Maybe I just came out of the shower?"
"Wouldn't help. I have really sharp senses. Besides, you don't smell like paint, but you do smell like the school gardens. Are you in the gardening club by chance? How's Fie doing?"
"Are you saying I smell dirty!?" demanded Vivi, adopting a scandalised expression.
"No!" said Evander, hastening to apologise, "I didn't mean that at all! Sorry! You smell fine! Better than fine! I mean, you know what I mean_ and, you're making fun of me, aren't you?" he finished up, watching as she burst out laughing.
"Wow, you're going to be fun to tease," she said, grinning. "But seriously, you're the only person I've ever met who can tell us apart. How about I promise to answer your question if you promise not to ruin any pranks you catch me working on? Okay?"
"Sure, whatever. I promise. I only wanted to know where I could find someone called Paula."
"And how Fie was doing, right? Or have you already forgotten about her? She'll be soooo sad!"
"I doubt it. She'd have to be awake for more than five minutes to feel sad," scoffed Evander, "but yeah, is she settling into the gardening club alright? I kind of suggested it to her in the first place, so I'd feel bad if it wasn't working out for her."
"Aren't you sweet?" she smirked, "well she's doing fine, since you asked. It's a little hard to get her talking, but she seems to like gardening. As for Paula, I can do better than tell you were to find her. I can arrange for you two to meet in the Trista Park in about half an hour."
"Really? Thanks! That'd be perfect! I'll head off right away!"
"Wait! I just remembered, she wanted to pick up a Grand Rose before the gardening supply store closed," said Vivi, barely able to restrain her grin, "if you could grab one for her before the meeting it would really save her some time."
"It would? Damn, if only I wasn't so broke. I really need to find some sort of job…" mused Evander.
"I could just give you the money," said Vivi, handing him the mira he needed, "there you go! Don't even worry about paying me back."
"Seriously!? I have to pay you back! I'll think of something! Thanks!" Evander ran off to buy a rose, unaware he was being played.
"Oh Evander," said Vivi, smirking, "you've already paid me back. Now to find somewhere good to watch my hard work pay off."
Scene Break Here
It wasn't every day you were called upon to meet a dhampir at dusk, and it didn't help that Vivi was being disgustingly vague about what exactly this Evander character wanted with her, but Paula eventually decided the meeting was worth going to. He was a classmate of Jusis' that much she knew, maybe that stuck up snob had sent a friend to apologise for his insulting behaviour? Unlikely to be true, but she'd hate herself if she missed it. She planned to send Evander back to Jusis with a piece of her mind, he could apologise himself if he cared that much. So she trekked over to the Trista park, unaware that Vivi was following closely behind, because she was so absorbed in this scenario and rehearsing just what she'd say to Jusis' pathetic attempt to apologise. When she reached the park, Evander was there with his back turned to her, staring in the general direction of the setting sun.
"Hey!" called Paula, "you can tell_" Evander whirled around, holding a Grand Rose of all things, and randomly thrust it into her hand.
"There you go!" he said, looking awfully pleased with himself, "I know you've really been wanting one of those!" Paula's head nearly exploded in confusion, she looked between Evander, the rose, and back again a good dozen times before she started shaking in rage.
"Are you off your undead head!?" she yelled, "I don't even know you! And you give me a Grand Rose!? What sort of sick joke is this!? Did Jusis send you to prank me!?"
"Huh?" Evander looked horrified at her reaction, "yeah well Jusis did mention you but the rose was_"
"I knew it! Well you can tell Jusis his stupid little joke was pathetic! And that he'll regret it when I'm the best horsewoman in all Erebonia!"
"Slow down! The rose was nothing to do with Jusis! All he did was say you were crap at riding a horse is all. The rose was all Vivi's idea!"
"He said what!?" demanded Paula, completing ignoring the bit about Vivi for the time being.
"I was looking for some to teach me how to ride a horse and_"
"Did he say I couldn't do it because I was a commoner!?"
"No, actually the fact you're a commoner never came up. He just said you were good at looking after horses but couldn't actually ride one without having a panic attack."
"A panic attack!? That's it, I'm going to kill him!"
"Good, you do that, and I'm going to kill Vivi," said Evander.
"Vivi?" Paula finally caught the bit about the pink-haired prankster. "Why?"
"Because she set me up with this Grand Rose nonsense! Which I still don't know what the problem with is."
"Giving someone a Grand Rose is a declaration of true love," explained Paula, "I thought everyone know that."
"You'd be surprised," said Vivi, emerging from the trees, grinning her head off, "you have no idea how many people I've gotten with that prank! Usually, I have them bring it to Linde but Evander ruined that."
"So, you picked me!?" said Paula. "What have I ever done to you?"
"Nothing, but Evander was looking for you so… you know. Sorry."
"You don't sound sorry!"
"Oh, but she will be," muttered Evander, "here, have your stinking rose back," he took it from Paula and all but hurled it at Vivi who immediately pretended to swoon.
"Oh Evander! I didn't know you felt that way about me!" she said, catching the rose the pressing it to her chest.
"That's not what I meant! Ugh! Actually, give it back so I can return it for a refund!"
"Nuh uh, I think I'll keep it to remind me of this forever," laughed Vivi. "Besides, I can't give you a Grand Rose, don't you know how that'd look? Imagine the talk it'd inspire!"
"I've had just about enough of you! This is all Jusis' fault! If he'd just given me a straight answer about Paula, I could have just gone straight to Gaius and avoided all this mess."
"Gaius? Is he your classmate? The one from the Nord Highlands?" asked Paula.
"Yeah, that's the one. I was going to ask him for some riding lessons before everything blew up in my face. Why? Do you want to come as well? I'm sure he wouldn't mind two students instead of one."
"I don't know… receiving private tutoring outside of club hours kind of feels like cheating," said Paula.
"On the other hand, imagine turning up to club practice and blowing that smirk right off Jusis' face with all the progress you've made," offered Evander. "Wouldn't that be neat?"
"You know what? It would! Alright, but only if Gaius is okay with it."
"Alright! Jusis will regret messing with me now!" said Evander, "I've had just about enough of his warped sense of humour."
"Aw, I love a happy ending," said Vivi, still smirking.
"You, shut up," said Evander. "I haven't forgiven you yet. I feel so sorry for Linde, that poor girl."
"And when I get a hold of him," started Paula, "poor Jusis." She stalked off with a determined look on her face, and if Jusis had any of Evander precognition, a shiver would have crossed his back.
"I don't know why I'm bothering to ask you any serious questions," said Evander, looking back at Vivi who was still idly twirling the Grand Rose around. "But I don't suppose you know anyone in the swimming club? Apart from Laura."
"Sure! There's Monica, I can arrange a_"
"A meeting? Like this last one? Let me guess, she needs a rare midnight black narwhal horn that turns out to be a symbol of undying love? How dumb do you think I am? I'm not falling for that one twice!"
"Ooh! That's even better than what I was going to suggest! But suit yourself. How are you going to find her then?"
"Hmm, I believe I'll just use my genius intellect," said Evander, tapping his forehead with a completely straight face.
"I won't hold my breath then," said Vivi, grinning, "call me when your 'genius intellect' fails to get any results."
Scene Break Here
Evander decided the best way to find Monica was to channel his vampire hunter mother and lay a cunning trap for her. He decided to put all his new writing skills to the test in mocking up a fake contest winner notice. Then he snuck into the lower-class dormitory in the dead of night and pinned it up on the noticeboard. He stood back and admired his work in the moonlight.
Le Sage Boutique is pleased to announce that Monica has won a whole new wardrobe from our lineup entirely free as part of a secret contest she was entered in! All she needs to do is report to the Trista branch of our store by the end of the week to receive her prize. Congratulations!
"She'll definitely turn up there tomorrow," said Evander, "I won't end up hanging around Le Sage Boutique like a weirdo for a whole week, will I? Oh well, too late to change now, it took me hours just to write that. Evander's genius intellect; one, Vivi's disbelief in my abilities; zero!"
Scene Break Here
As it turned out, Evander's fake contest announcement was a little too convincing for some people, though it worked it in his favour anyway. The students of the lower-class dormitory were woken by a piercing scream the following morning when Colette found the announcement and was horrified and jealous that she'd missed out on such an awesome prize. Monica was one of the students who rushed down to find out what was wrong and therefore learned about her 'prize' almost immediately. Preventing Collette from murdering her in a jealous rage was more than enough incentive for her to head straight to Le Sage Boutique as soon as the school day was over. And so another of Evander's random gambits that really shouldn't have paid off at all, worked out in his favour again.
Scene Break Here
Evander quickly realised that hanging around Le Sage Boutique for hours on end would probably get him in trouble. Stores tended to want paying customers, not freaky dhampirs who scared off paying customers. So, though it would greatly worsen his thirst, he faded from sight before he entered the store. He was just grateful the watch forced on him by the Intelligence Division didn't dampen that power because it wasn't anything to do with his psychic abilities. And also grateful the store manager didn't call for an exorcist when the door appeared to open by itself when he entered invisibly. She muttered something about it being particularly windy today and went back to serving her customers. It barely took a few minutes of wandering around the store and idly waiting for this mysterious Monica to show up for Evander to get bored, and the boredom was bad for his hunger. The blood of everyone in the store was calling to him like a siren song, the scent of it filling his nostrils with coppery delight. He was just about to go completely insane when a girl clutched the notice she'd ripped off the board as proof of her win entered the store. He decided he didn't care at this point if it was really Monica or just someone here to complain, he was going to show himself.
Subtlety had never been Evander's strong point, and his thirst had stripped what little of it he'd had in the first place. So he didn't care how alarming it was when he just appeared out of thin air in front of Monica before she could reach the counter.
"Congratulations!" he yelled, seeming not to realise how loud his voice was all of a sudden. "You've won a totally fake prize!" He started to laugh, a touch maniacally, if we're being honest, "you've fallen into my trap! Ha! That'll teach Vivi! You are Monica, right?" Monica staggered backwards, nearly knocking a display cabinet over in her hurry to get away from him.
"Stay back!" she choked out, "I'm not telling you my name if you need it to drink my blood!"
"Ugh! I told you all at assembly, I don't do that anymore!" complained Evander, "are all humans so creeped out by the blood thing that they always have to bring it up? Anyway Monica, I have a question to ask you_"
"I never said my name was Monica," she protested weakly.
"You didn't have to. If you weren't Monica you'd have said so. It's just logical. If you thought I was an insane vampire here to kill Monica, and you weren't actually Monica, you'd point that out quick smart."
"Are you?"
"Am I what?"
"An insane vampire here to kill me_ I mean, Monica?"
"No! I'm just here to ask for some swimming lessons. I heard you were in the swimming club and I kind of have this fear of water so I wanted a professional to train me. Well, it's less a fear of water and more a fear of drowning, because that's probably one of the few things that could actually kill me. But you know I also don't like how the water feels on my skin and_ why are you looking at me like that?"
"Because I can't even swim fifty arge!" pointed out Monica, "you've done all this for nothing. You should have just asked Laura."
"I can't ask Laura," said Evander, rolling his eyes like that was obvious, "this is all top secret. She's the last person that needs to hear about it."
"Are you planning to ambush her in the pool and drink her blood!?" asked Monica, eyes wide.
"No! I'm not drinking anyone's blood! I don't do that anymore!"
"But you want to, don't you?"
"Yes! But you want to punch me in the face and you're not doing it, so why should I be different!?"
"My anger can go away, your thirst never will."
"Is that supposed to depress me? Because it did," groaned Evander, "I can't believe I've wasted all this time. I swear no one in this place can ever just be helpful! Do you know anyone else in the swimming club? Preferably someone who can swim more than ten rege?"
"I can swim more than ten rege! I think…"
"You're fixating on the wrong part of what I'm saying. I repeat, who else is in the swimming club?"
"Well there's the captain, Klein_"
"He'll do! Where can I find him?"
"Um, I think he's tutoring a boy who lives at the house by the river," said Monica, "otherwise you can ask for him at the lower class dormitory."
"Thank you! Was that so hard?" Evander walked off, and Monica let a sigh of a relief. A premature one as it turned out, because a moment later he reappeared in front of her. "Oh, and just as a word of warning. If you tell Laura something is going on I'll_"
"Drink my blood?"
"For the last time, no! I'll just put a curse on you. A really nasty one. I'm psychic, I can do that."
"What kind of curse?" asked Monica, weighing up the risks of telling Laura anyway.
"Um," Evander tried to channel his inner Beryl and think of something suitably terrifying. "If you tell Laura I'm learning to swim you'll have to shine hubcaps for a living. For the rest of your life. And remember, I'm psychic!" He walked off again, and again, Monica sighed in relief, again prematurely. "Psychic!" yelled Evander, in front of her once more. "Just in case you've forgotten." This time he left for real and Monica was left wondering two things. One, just what on earth was wrong with Evander, and two, how much of a ruckus did someone have to make in this store before the manager gave a damn?
Scene Break Here
Emil was having a hard time concentrating on Klein's lesson today and not because of the recently confirmed rumours about a vampire living in Trista. He wasn't like the other kids, who seemed equal parts terrified and thrilled by the news. No, Emil was distracted by more sensible things, such as what sounded like some persistently trying to climb up the side of his house. He was trying to ignore it, because it was surely just some psychological manifestation of a childish fear of vampires climbing in through the window and nothing more than that, but it was getting harder. Especially because the noises were getting louder and being followed by what sounded like muffled curses and complaints. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and tore his eyes off Klein to look over at the bedroom window. Just like he'd known, there was nothing out there. So he could stop with this childish_ Evander's face appeared in the window.
"_how many years ago was the Orbal Revolution?" asked Klein.
"Vampire! There's a vampire outside!" yelled Emil, nearly falling out of his chair.
"No, uh, that's not the answer," said Klein. "Are you alright? You seem a little distracted?"
"I'm serious! There's a vampire trying to get in the window!"
"Don't be silly_" Klein looked over as a loud tapping noise permeated the room and saw that Emil was right, or at least half right. There wasn't a vampire trying to get in the window, just a dhampir. By this point Evander's shenanigans around campus were near legendary, even without the news he was half fiend, so Klein just sighed and walked over to open the window. "Can I help you with something Evander?" he asked, "like a refresher on how students at prestigious military academies are supposed to behave?"
"Nah, that sounds boring," said Evander, sticking his head into the room and looking around until he spied Emil. "Sorry for scaring you kid."
"I'm not a kid!" protested Emil his indignation overcoming his fear, "I'm going to be starting high school in a few years!"
"Take my advice, don't. Look for a career shining hubcaps instead, these automobiles are going to take off in a big way. Every family will have one soon. Anyway, Klein my man, you are Klein, right? I didn't just commit a felony trespass for the wrong person, did I?"
"Yes I'm Klein, and did you consider just knocking on the front door if you thought I was here?" he asked. Evander looked at him like he was insane, which was quite a feat from someone hanging onto the edge of a second story window.
"I don't know the people who live here," said Evander, "I'd look like a right weirdo if I just knocked on the door out of the blue."
"As opposed to climbing up the side of the house?" asked Emil sarcastically.
"Don't sass me kid," snapped Evander, "I know a girl who's going to be in the hubcap industry, I won't introduce you if you annoy me."
"I'm trying to conduct a lesson here," said Klein, "so if you could tell me what you wanted?"
"Oh yeah, I'm looking for top secret swimming lessons that Laura can't know about. I'm free all night, most nights. I can get the janitor to loan me the gym keys for these lessons. We're old pals after I broke a window last month."
"Well, I'm a little busy, but I figure this sort of thing would be perfect leadership training for another member of the club. Laura's already training Monica, and while you're not an official member of the swimming club, I don't see why Caspar can't give you a few lessons after school."
"Great! And who's Caspar when he's at home? Is he friendly? Is he a ghost? Come on, give me details!"
"I'll tell you about it later," said Klein firmly, "now I'm trying to teach here, so if you'd please leave the way you came."
"Fine, fine. Spoilsport. How will you find me?"
"I'll just follow the noise of unending chaos," joked Klein. "Goodbye!" Evander quickly pulled his head back out the window just before Klein reached over and slammed it shut. Then the second-year student turned around and addressed Emil.
"You okay? I get that Evander is a little intense, but he's mostly harmless."
"I'm fine, I think. But tell me something? Are all the students at Thors as weird as him?"
"Eh, only about half of them," admitted Klein, "give or take." Emil began to seriously rethink his dream of attending Thors. Maybe there was a nice quiet, lunatic asylum he could spend his time in instead.
Scene Break Here
As it turns out, death by hubcap shining wasn't enough of a deterrent to buy Monica's silence. Either that or she just didn't believe that Evander was really psychic and/or could put curses on people, because practically the first thing she did after leaving Le Sage Boutique was track down Laura and warn her.
"I think Evander wants to ambush you in the swimming pool and drink your blood!" she blurred out the moment she saw Laura walking back towards her dormitory. Laura paused, nonplussed, and looked around to see if Evander was hanging around playing some sort of joke on her again. Once she was satisfied, they were alone, she moved closer to comfort Monica, who was clearly distressed.
"What brought this on, Monica? Did Evander say or do something to make you think that?"
"Well first he pretended I won a new outfit from Le Sage Boutique," started Monica, "and then he jumped out from behind a mannequin and asked me for swimming lessons. He must be planning an ambush, right? What are you going to do about him?" Laura sighed, immediately figuring out what was going on.
"I see. I think I'll give him another lecture on the appropriate ways to behave and ask him to apologise for scaring you."
"But what about the ambush?"
"He's not trying to ambush me. He's trying to impress me," she explained.
"That…doesn't make sense."
"It's Evander, of course it doesn't make sense," said Laura, laughing. "Thank you for telling me though. I appreciate your concern. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Just one thing," said Monica, "do you know who broke Evander? He's crazy!"
"Hmm? Who broke him? Life broke Evander and never paid for the damages. Don't worry, he's mostly harmless."
Scene Break Here
Satisfied that he could tick swimming lessons off his list, Evander only had to sort out horse riding with Gaius and then he could call this whole escapade a resounding success. In his own opinion anyway. So, he was waiting when Gaius came back to the third dormitory and jumped out at him in his usual weird way of ambushing people instead of just walking up to them like a normal person.
"Hey Gaius! You know how you're a weird dude, but a cool dude right?"
"Is this a prelude to asking me for a favour?" guessed Gaius, who was unusually perceptive today.
"How'd you know!?"
"You're being nice."
"Hey! I'm always nice! Don't make me sound like some sort of monster! Anyway, I need a favour. Do you know Paula? The two of us want to learn how to a ride a horse like a pro and Jusis won't help us and he forbid me from bothering this Lambert dude because he's such a flatliner or something. Can you help? It'll have to be at night because this is top secret."
"Sure," said Gaius simply.
"I'm telling you it's one hundred percent legit_ wait, did you just say yes?"
"Yes."
"Cool! You really are a cool dude!"
"That's what I hear. Mostly from you, but that's what I hear. I'm not going to regret this am I?"
"Are you kidding!? This is like all my plans, one hundred percent regret free guaranteed or my name isn't Evander!" And so Operation Impress Laura was commenced, Aidios help everyone involved.