Mentioned in Ch. 18 of Language of Love; takes place between Ch. 16 and 17.
"We have a problem," Daniel announces out of the blue. "Tomorrow Becky has to jump into a volcano."
Jack turns over in his hammock, tilting up the brim of his cap to peer at him. The morning after a big party is never a good time to hear that sort of statement. Or any time, really. "Come again?"
"It's true, sir," Carter confirms. "During the banquet while you were negotiating with the chief about the rights to the naquadah mine Becky and I found out from the other women the banquet's part of the yearly festival for their great volcano god. Tomorrow morning they sacrifice one of the village maidens to keep it from exploding."
"You think it will?"
"I'm not a geologist or volcanologist, sir. But they think it might if the sacrifice doesn't occur as planned."
As one they all look in the direction of the volcano looming in the near distance which the locals call Hi'kurian'a. Hawa'iki is the name for either their village, island or maybe the whole planet for all Jack can tell. Either way there's definitely a traditional Hawaiian or Polynesian vibe going on where the Gate's located, which is a rarity as far as he knows. Makes a nice change from the usual temperate forest the Ancient terraformers seemed to be so fond of on a majority of the worlds they've visited. The botanists and biologists at the SGC will have a field day with the abundance of tropical flora and fauna.
"That explains why the chief was so agreeable about the mine. Especially once Becky introduced herself," Daniel muses. "They must believe we're providing her as the sacrifice in exchange for the rights, so they don't have to offer one of their own this year."
Jack sighs, fidgeting enough to send the hammock swaying. "Oh for crying out loud." So much for an idyllic paradise. He should've known it was too good to be true. "Think we could just sneak outta here and back to the Gate?"
Teal'c peers out the window of their hut. "It does not seem practical to escape, O'Neill. It will be dark soon, and the settlement is very well lit with torches. And due to the abundance of nocturnal predators in the jungle we will not be able to travel very far before being attacked."
A low rumbling growl outside their hut only confirms their predicament. Talk about between the proverbial rock and hard place.
Becky's gone white as a sheet. Carter offers a sympathetic squeeze of her shoulders in support, having almost been in that position a time or two herself.
Well, no niece or teammate of his is being sacrificed if he has anything to say about it. "All right, I've had enough." With a grunt Jack extricates himself from the hammock, mostly by planting his feet firmly on the ground and slowly lifting his upper body. Carter helps him with the rest. "Better have words with the chief, see if it'll take a P90 in his face to let all of us go."
"Jack, before you get us tossed out altogether by barging in, I think I found a more effective solution." Daniel looks up from the pictograms he's been studying. "This tapa cloth describes the festival, and it mentions a maiden sacrifice. But also a loophole, of sorts."
"What kind of loophole? C'mon Danny, don't keep us hanging in suspense."
"Yeah, right. Um." He turns to Becky, a little sheepish. "We have to get married. Tomorrow."
Her eyes go wide. "What? But we only moved in together a few months ago. I mean I love you dearly but isn't it too soon to be talking marriage? I thought we'd agreed to take it slow."
"It is for me," Jack grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. "Any other loopholes, Danny?"
"Not really. It's either marriage or the volcano."
"Not much of a choice either way," Becky mutters. Daniel looks a little hurt and she takes his hand in hers, apologetic. "Sorry. You know what I mean."
He nods. "I do. It's okay."
They stare at each other for a long time. Jack gets the impression he's intruding on a whole unspoken intimate conversation, kinda like what he and Carter do sometimes.
He clears his throat. "Relax, Beck. It won't be legally binding back on New Earth if that's what you're worried about."
"We've been forced into a lot of offworld marriages as a team over the years, in many different configurations," Carter affirms. "More than gets into the official reports."
Becky blinks at her. "Seriously?"
She nods. "With either Daniel or Teal'c or the Colonel, or even all three at once." An impish smile. "Although on occasion I'm just a witness while they wed each other, too."
"Most cultures we've visited do lean towards monogamous arrangements," Daniel notes. "But not all of them, and sometimes not of opposite genders, either. Though General Hammond always has them officially annulled during debrief anyway."
"So you guys are all married to each other?" Humor gradually replaces Becky's astonishment. "Huh. You know, that explains an awful lot about the way you guys act as a team. Somehow I'm not surprised. And here I thought you were a confirmed bachelor again, Uncle Jack." She says it with a straight face but it's obvious she's trying to hold back laughter.
Carter's eyes twinkle with suppressed mirth. A few faint snorts escape behind Daniel's hand as well.
"Indeed," Teal'c concurs, dark eyes holding a glint of humor.
Jack rolls his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Let's get this one over with first before we pull out the wedding albums, okay? Danny, do the honors."
He shakes his head but the look he gives Becky is warm and tender, taking her hand in one of his and gently cupping her cheek with the other. "I love you too. I don't mind taking it slow either but for now, for this mission...Will you marry me?"
She gives him a tremulous smile. "Yes, I'll marry you. And hopefully for real, someday."
"I hope so too." They seal it with a kiss. Beautiful.
Jack beams at them. "Peachy. Now that that's settled I'd better give the chief the good news, without my P90. And Danny- you do realize this makes me your uncle-in-law, right?"
Carter bites at her lower lip. Teal'c raises an expressive eyebrow.
Becky blanches while Daniel's eyes narrow and take on a murderous glint.
Time for a strategic retreat.
He barely manages to miss the empty coconut shell bowl thrown in his direction.
As it turns out the chief's happier to officiate at an impromptu wedding instead of a volcano sacrifice. He confides to Jack the volcano's been dormant for generations and the threat's really more of an incentive for couples to marry than anything, with everyone playing along with the ruse for tradition's sake.
That's a load off his mind. At least they're not gonna be chased all the way back to the Gate by spearpoint.
It's a beautiful ceremony anyway. Dressed in native clothes with leafy crowns Becky is radiant and Daniel's impressive in his geeky way, thanks to training and fieldwork. They make an adorable couple.
He's a pretty good matchmaker, if Jack does say so himself.
The chief utters words, drapes flower leis over their heads. Hands are bound together with another flower chain while he speaks some more, then releases them to share a sweet and passionate kiss before leading them up the volcano so they can toss their crowns and leis into the caldera. That's all that's sacrificed, thank god.
Carter dabs at her eyes, Teal'c looks on like a proud papa and not for the first time Jack wishes he'd brought a camera. Too bad Mac and Janet aren't here to see this.
Unlike the wedding banquets Jack's more familiar with later that night the newlyweds aren't on display, sequestered in a freshly built hut just for the two of them. An interesting mix of private and public, and one more fitting for the introverted couple.
As the closest relative he has the honor of sitting nearby, overhearing the "newlyweds" at their private celebration. At one point a small gap right at eye level enables him to catch a glimpse of them locked in a passionate embrace on a bed of soft leaves and tapa cloth, murmuring to each other what he assumes are words of love in multiple languages.
For a pretend wedding they're sure acting as if it were real. Still, they've been lovers for a few years now so any excuse will apparently do.
Good thing Mac's not here after all. It takes every ounce of military discipline he has to keep from blushing as it is.
He swallows the milky-white liquid in his bowl and tries to focus entirely on the music and dancing instead of their sighs and moans. Carter proves to be a more successful distraction, equally buzzed on fermented coconut milk if not more so, what with her hand resting on his thigh and murmuring sweet nothings- otherwise dismissed as technobabble during other, far less intimate situations- in his ear.
They shouldn't indulge like this, they really shouldn't. Not during a mission, anyway.
For years they've been keenly aware of their mutual attraction, keeping it firmly in check within the boundaries of professional behavior. It took the literal end of the world to encourage both of them to take a chance. Even after that it remained a secret for the good of the outfit, or at least until Hammond relaxed the regulations against fraternization.
He wasn't a bit surprised when they confessed their relationship to him the next day, like he'd known all along. He did gently suggest they keep a professional distance during working hours, however. Which makes a certain amount of sense.
On the other hand it's not often they get an opportunity like this, with no fear they're gonna be screwed over the next day.
"Oh, Jaack..." Carter- no, Sam at times like these- croons, "let's get outta here and have some fun of our own, hmm?" She flashes him an alluring- if a little loopy- smile. A playful nip to his earlobe makes him shiver all over.
What the hell. Becky or Daniel might say it'd be an insult to their hosts if they didn't enjoy the hospitality. Or they would if not otherwise preoccupied.
Kind of a weak rationale, but hey. He'll take what he can get.
The next morning he wakes with Carter's body still entwined with his, uniforms recklessly tossed into an untidy heap in their ardor. The buzzing in his head has gone away, replaced by a pleasant languor, proof they'd enjoyed themselves thoroughly.
It really shouldn't become a habit offworld, though.
He checks his watch, reckons it's about time to get going. Good thing they'd already bid farewell to the chief last night, so there's no issue with dishonoring their host by leaving without notice.
Becky's idea, as it happens. Like her mom she has a knack for thinking ahead to avoid awkward situations. A useful asset on cultural missions like these.
Sam mumbles something unintelligible, snuggling even closer, her head lolling against his shoulder. Not that he wouldn't mind spending the day like this but they're due to dial back home soon and a soft warm bed is kinder to his back and knees than cold hard ground.
He gives her a gentle shake. "Carter?"
Blue eyes open, blinking the cobwebs away before focusing on him. "Sir? Ah, did we-"
"Yep," he says quickly.
Her brow furrows. "My head's still a bit fuzzy. Did we use-"
"Yep," thinking of the little pile of trash in his pack, saved to discard back home as per SOP. "Time to go."
"Right." She sits up, yawns and stretches. They dress quickly.
Not much else is said. Better to leave the personal discussions until they're back home and off-duty, also per their own SOP.
They carefully make their way through the quiet village. Fortunately encountering no one else save for Teal'c, on time and ready to go as always. Jack briefly wonders if he spent the night doing his kel'no'reem thing even without the candles. More than likely as he's not the indulging type.
He gives them a cordial nod. "O'Neill, Major Carter. Good morning."
"Morning, T. Heard from the newlyweds yet?"
"I have not. It is likely that Daniel Jackson and Becky Grahme are yet asleep."
"Let's see if that's the case. Birds of a feather, those two." He taps on the door to their hut. "Helloo? Anybody home?"
When there's no answer he opens the door a fraction. They're curled up against each other, looking rather young and vulnerable without glasses, a tapa cloth covering their modesty. Such a sweet tableau.
"All right, sleepyheads! Up and at 'em!"
Daniel grumbles a bit but wakes enough to prop himself up on an elbow and squint in his direction. "Jack?"
"Hey, Spacemonkey. Sleep well?"
Becky groans, stretches. "What time's it?"
"Time to go home, kiddo. C'mon you two, get dressed already."
"Sure. Give us some privacy first?" Daniel makes a vague shooing motion.
He smirks. "Don't take too long. We're all waiting outside."
Presently they emerge from the hut, making last-minute adjustments to each others' clothes and exchanging occasional soft kisses, for the moment lost in their own little world.
He clears his throat. "So, should we be sending out wedding announcements for you guys when we get back?"
They shoot him identical narrow-eyed glares. He offers an innocent smile in return.
Teal'c hands over their gear. "Felicitations on your marriage."
Becky's cheeks flush a delicate pink as she says quickly, "Um, thanks but we're not really...I mean we love each other but it's way too soon for a big step like that- "
"Indeed. There is no need to say further. As with certain ceremonies on other worlds this shall also remain secret. 'What happens offworld stays offworld.' Is that not what you said after you and Major Carter married for the fourth time, O'Neill?" Jack could swear his deep voice carries a smirk even as his face remains perfectly composed. One eye closes and opens in a deliberate wink.
"Yeah, sure, ya betcha," he grumbles, knowing a Jaffa-style tease when he hears it by now. "C'mon campers, time to say aloha."
All the way back to the Gate Teal'c looks smug, Becky and Daniel have a hard time suppressing laughter, and even Carter's eyes twinkle with humor though she says nothing. Jack himself keeps quiet, contemplating the possibilities of future blackmail.
Really, he has the most incorrigible team in the entire SGC.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
Note: The place names are inspired by Polynesian/Maori mythology as mentioned in Te Ara, the online encyclopedia of New Zealand.