Can a monster act like a hero?

by davido747

"May you find happiness in the next life." That was easier said than done, even more so for a horrible villain like him. Or so Yuuki Shirou thought before meeting a certain pink-haired alien and being introduced to a bizarre world filled with aliens, servants, and absurd situations. But maybe this time, he will achieve that beautiful dream he threw aside a long time ago.

2. Chapter 1: The end of normalcy

We meet again, people! I'd say this chapter flowed quite fast, but looking at the date, it's been another month. Nothing new. At any rate, here I bring you the second chapter of this new story of mine, which could actually be considered part two of the prologue. Yeah, a considerable part of this chapter is going to be character introductions since the main cast is going to be… let's leave it at sizable. Oh, and some predictions about that in the reviews came quite close.

Now, let me address another controversial matter that popped up. Shirou's statement that Gid was on the level of a Type. First, a lot of you took it as if I were the one stating it and establishing it as a fact in the story, which is something that tends to happen a lot, at least in my case. That sentence should be rather taken as a conclusion Shirou drew with the little information he had, and he himself didn't take it that seriously. Also, the statement "he can destroy planets" can be interpreted in many ways. You can take it as he blowing it up in a literal sense as he does in the anime, or you can take it in a more conceptual way as the Human Order Incineration or the Earth's bleaching in the Lostbelt arc. Mikado didn't specify, and from his point of view, Shirou assumed it was the latter.

Also, I think I said it already, but I'll make it even clearer. Don't expect all of Nasuverse rules regarding Types, aliens, and alike to apply here. This is the Servant Universe, and it just so happens that this specific part of the universe resembles the regular one, but not entirely. I know everyone hasn't played F/GO's Saber Wars II event, which just had a rerun in the NA server, so I think this is better left clarified.

With all that said, let's get to the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own any right Type-Moon, the Fate Franchise, or To Love Ru.

---

"Onii-chan…"

Time seemed to stop as Yuuki Shirou heard those words from the little girl in front of him. The body of that boy who never seemed to care about anything in particular froze like a deer in the spotlight. The face of the horrible monster that took countless lives in the past with his own hands was now showing emotions like fear and insecurity.

His mouth moved, but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. This was something that should have never happened. Not like this-

Wait, he could still fix the situation. Those two were the weirdos he called "friends" from his school, and they were about to go to a cosplay convention. Yeah, that might work! That was preferable that revealing the existence of the supernatural world!

"Mikan, this isn't-"

"Oh, you must be Shirou's little sister!" Unfortunately, a louder voice overshadowed his despite the desperation impregnating it. "Nice to meet you! I'm Lala, your brother's fiancée!"

"Huh?"

"Don't be so rash, Lala-sama. If she is indeed Shirou-dono's sister and your future sister-in-law, we must introduce ourselves properly. The rules of etiquette may vary from planet to planet, but I'm sure proceedings in this one are the same. Right, Shirou-dono?"

What awaited Zastin the moment he turned to look at the red knight sent chills down his spine.

"Why you…" He was completely livid. Mikan might be in utter shock and might be only 13 years old, but he was well aware that she was way smarter than the average kid.

There was no way she missed the keywords in their phrases. His delusion a minute ago already had near zero chances of succeeding, but now it was completely impossible.

Screw the threats from an extraterrestrial being that unified the Galaxy by force. His right arm tensed, getting ready to finish what he started-

"No way! Onii-chan got a girlfriend!?"

Or that was what he was planning to do before his brain processed Mikan's words. "Of all the absurd bullshit these two spewed, that's what concerns you the most!?"

"I mean, yeah." Her brutal answer felt even heavier than a straight jab from Heracles. "You getting a girlfriend before you even got proper friends was way less likely than you cosplaying alongside two strangers who talk as if they weren't from this planet and have tails to prove it."

"Wat? I'm not… that bad. And no, she isn't-"

"See? You don't have to worry, Shirou-dono. Mikan-dono is as open-minded as you. But I must ask, is she really your sister? I don't feel the same overwhelming presence. She feels more like a regular earthling rather than a servant-"

"SHUT UP!" Shirou's outburst caused the adult alien to tense so much that he seemed like a statue. "I don't want another damn word until I'm done explaining things or I'll really kick our ass out of this planet! Am I clear!?"

Zastin nodded stiffly and his hand immediately shot to cover Lala's mouth before she said something.

"Let's go down to the living then. I'll answer your questions over a cup of tea, Mikan."

"…!" His sister widened her golden eyes when his combat attire faded into specks of light and was replaced by his home clothes. But she followed him quietly under the premise of obtaining her answer in just some minutes.

Once everyone was finally sitting around the table and with a cup of tea in front of them, the tension had already reached an absurd level. For Zastin in particular, he was finding it difficult to even breathe.

"Well, where should we start?" Shirou asked after taking a particularly long sip from his cup.

"I think… you can start by telling who are these two and what are doing here…"

"They say they come from a planet called Deviluke with some kind of family drama. It is better if they explain it themselves."

"Yes!" Lala spoke before Zastin could much to his regret. "As I said earlier, I'm Lala. Lala Satalin Deviluke. My father is the one who unified this part of the universe, but he now wants to retire and tried to marry me to the first guy that he thought qualified. That's why I ran from home, and fortunately, Shirou offered to fill that role instead!"

"That's not quite how things happened…"

"Accident or not, the fact is you proposed to her by our customs, and I, Zastin, the right-hand man of Sir Gid Lucione Deviluke, the current ruler of the universe, approve of it. It is already official. Word will spread throughout the universe in less than 24h in Earth terms. You should expect dissidents to arrive trying to claim Lala-sama's hand from then on."

"Great, just what I wanted…" He felt the urge to rub his forehead, but instead, he opted for another long sip of tea. "So, that's the kind of mess I got myself into."

Mikan seemed to take some time to just regain the color of her cheeks. "And I suppose… you aren't freaking out because… you are some kind of wizard that was already aware of those things?"

Her shot in the dark was actually quite close to being spot on. "Something along those lines yeah. Although, the aliens I'm used to encountering are more like those things described in the book of that guy who consumed so many narcotics he came in contact with outer Gods. What was his name… H. P. something… Anyway. As for myself, technically, I'm a magus. The magecraft I perform is way more grounded that True Magic."

"I see…"

"Wait, you speak as if you are from this planet, Shirou-dono. I thought servants are also alien beings from this planet's perspective."

The moment he finished speaking, Zastin knew he just stepped into a landmine if the way Shirou gritted his teeth and almost smashed the cup in his hands was any sign.

"Is he implying you aren't human, Onii-chan?"

"I was getting to that, damn it!" He proceeded to drink the rest of his cup of tea in an attempt to calm down. "Look, don't pay attention to what he said. I am a "servant", but not the kind he's referring to. I was 100% human before dying. Long story short, a servant, or heroic spirit, is an individual whose deeds left a mark on the human story, and hence they are recorded outside of time. So yeah, I basically reincarnated due to a series of circumstances too long to explain."

That was it. It felt really wrong being the one to introduce her to the crueler side of the world she lived in, but a part of him felt… relieved. It was far from the whole truth, but it was a first step nonetheless.

"That… explains a lot of things? I mean, that's badshit insane."

"Mikan, language."

The little girl ignored his remark. "Even with the proof right in front of me, I can hardly believe it. My Onii-chan is some kind of badass ancient hero, and an alien of all things is now engaged with you. That's nuts even for a manga plot. But I…"

His little sister made an active effort to put aside the doubts and offer him a reassuring smile. "…I know Onii-chan wouldn't lie about something so important."

"…" On the other side of the spectrum, Shirou had to partially hide his face behind his cup of tea to not show the grimace forming on it.

That was wrong on so many levels. He was no hero, only a murderer. His entire existence as a servant was based on a lie. And this reassuring feeling after sharing his "secret" was just as messed up.

"I wasn't expecting you to take it so well but take your time. This is just the surface, and the world you are getting into is dangerous. And this goes without saying, but don't tell a soul anything about this. I mean it. You don't want to have executors trying to silence the entire town."

"Well, I don't know about the latter…" Lala cut in the conversation just before Mikan processed his pessimistic speech, preventing the heartwarming atmosphere from falling apart. "…but why didn't you trust your sister, Shirou? Regardless of how incredible the situation is, I think a family should be there to support each other."

The golden-eyed boy looked at the pink-haired alien that was now really close to him with a raised eyebrow. He doubted she drew that opinion from a father that just wanted to use her as a tool to accelerate his retirement.

"Do you have siblings, Lala?"

"Yes, two little sisters. They are the cutest things in the entire galaxy! And… they must be really worried…"

"It's not like you can't go back home, Lala-sama." Zastin spoke up upon noticing how her tone lost its enthusiasm for a moment. "We just need evidence that Shirou-dono indeed exists. The best way would be bringing him with us-"

"Hell no-"

"Zastin, even if father stops arranging meetings with candidates, I want to stay on this planet for a while. I want to learn its customs, and of course, I want to get to know Shirou better." Her cheeks were getting redder with every word coming out of her mouth, but she tried to keep her usual personality. "I know everything up until this point has been pure insanity, and I don't have experience in these matters either, but would you like to start slowly?"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Slow" wasn't precisely a word he would associate with the methods his other self used to… curt girls. Besides, did he even have a choice here? He doubted that Gid guy could blow up the Earth in a literal sense, but he could burn the surface like a certain Beast.

"Well… I can't just let you live in my house without at least asking the other person living here." His golden eyes met Mikan's in an almost pleading way.

But to his horror, a mischievous smile made its way to her lips before speaking. "Why not? It will be like having a transferred student staying with us, and we have rooms to spare due to mom and dad staying away because of work. You should throw away your only chance of getting a girlfriend, Onii-chan~"

And just like that, she threw him under the bus spectacularly.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about preparing a room for me, Mikan-chan! As soon as Zastin brings me my tools, I'll build one using a spatial distortion phenomenon. It's simple, you see-"

"You don't have to get into details, Lala-sama." The armored alien cut her rant in time much to everyone's relief. "As for myself, I'll stay at my spaceship and keep an eye on any… undesired guests. Of course, you will have to be the one to defend your position, Shirou-dono."

"Haaahhh…" A really tired sigh escaped Shirou's lips. He really brought this upon himself, did he? "Alright, you two can stay, but only under one condition. No one steps into the kitchen without my permission!"

"Huh?" The two aliens couldn't tell what surprised them more if his request or his absolutely serious tone.

"Hehe, let's just say Onii-chan reeeally loves to cook. And he's really good at it."

"Seriously!? Will you cook something for me!?"

"That will have to wait until tomorrow morning." The golden-eyed teenager stood up, considering the conversation ended. "Mikan and I have school tomorrow, so we can't go to bed too late. I'll show you our guest room. I would tell you to unpack your things, but I don't think you have… things aside from Peke."

He was about to walk out of the room, but then he noticed Lala wasn't following him. She was frozen in the spot, confusion, and curiosity filling her expression.

"Shirou… what is a school?"

The room was plunged into an awkward silence as Shirou threw a "Seriously?" look at Zastin.

"Ahem! We do have schools on our planet, yes! But as a princess, Lala-sama never attended one, and it's not like she needed it. Her privileged mind would have put her way ahead of her peers."

"But going to school isn't just studying. There's a lot of experiences you miss if you don't go to one." Those innocent words from Mikan only made things more complicated.

"Really!? I want to go to Shirou's school then!"

That simple and innocent wish developed into a really bad migraine that night.

---

Next morning…

"MMM! This is really delicious, Shirou! I'd say it's even better than the food back at home!"

"As much as it pains me, I must agree with princess Lala. I'm sure Lord Gid would approve of you just with this level of cooking skills."

Shirou felt a drop of sweat sliding across his temple as he saw the two aliens devour the third serving of breakfast. He really hoped this was a punctual occurrence and not another bottomless pit fell on his lap for the sake of his family's financial situation.

Even if those weren't penniless by any means, he doubted there would be someone on Earth to exchange their coin for local ones. Well, maybe there was one person, but he didn't want to owe her more favors than necessary.

What was important right now was that those two were completely engrossed in devouring his food and Mikan was already on her way to her school, so this was his opportunity.

"Well, I'll be going, too. You two can do anything to pass the time as long as you don't cause a commotion, and I left prepared your lunch in the fridge. See you later-"

"WAIT!"

He had been already walking through the door leading to the street when he felt something pulling his leg in a literal sense. Lala seemed to have dropped everything for a mad rush at him much to his surprise.

"Let me at least try to talk with the… chairman of the school! Maybe he understands my situation!"

Shirou let out an exasperated sigh. Why was she so insistent despite his lengthy explanation of what she needed to really blend into human society yesterday?

"The chances of that working are nonexistent. The director might be a… peculiar man, but even he will think you are completely out of it if you just tell him you're an alien. And don't even think for a second about showing him your tail."

"Aww…"

"That is precisely why I don't like primitive planets that don't have access to the universal register. No offense, Shirou-dono." Zastin walked up to them while cleaning the corners of his mouth with a napkin. Lala's depressed face seemed to have forced him to intervene. "Is there really no choice?"

"I have a contact that might be able to prepare you with a fake identity, but for one, she's not on the planet right now and I have no idea when she will return, and for another, depending on what she asks in return it might not be possible."

"If this "contact" is aware of our rule, I'm sure we can pay for it no matter what she demands."

"No, I'm afraid it will be something personal…" His golden eyes then met Lala's green ones. "At any rate. You just have to be patient, Lala. You can start by familiarizing yourself with the city instead. As long as you make Peke shift to something more… discrete, there shouldn't be any problem."

The next thing he heard was Peke somehow sighing. "Lala-sama… you should be more straightforward, or you won't get through his numbskull."

"I guess you are right…" The pink-haired alien ignored the way Shirou's eyebrow trembled and spoke in all seriousness. "Shirou, I said I wanted to get to know you, and the only way to do that is to spend time with you. It would be meaningless if I do things on my own."

"Even if you tell me that, there's little I can do, you know? But if you don't mind waiting a little bit you can come to visit the school after the lessons are over. Also, the weekend is in two days. That means I'll have the day free, and I'll be able to show you the city myself. What do you say?"

That was pretty much an invitation for a date, but whether she caught his drift or not, her mood brightened visibly.

"In that case, I can wait a little more, yes! Zastin, can you lead me to where my spaceship crashed? Perhaps we can salvage something."

"Of course, Lala-sama."

Seeing off the pair of aliens, the golden-eyed teenager all but ran towards the Sainan Academy. It proved to be unnecessary though, as he just arrived at the same time 90% of the students did on a regular basis, but what really made him regret his decision was the sound of an engine closing in.

The number of students that were brought by car by their parents could be counted on one's fingers. But one that was brought by limousine of all things?

"Crap, she's already here?"

He didn't stop to admire the luxurious vehicle like the other students, even if he knew it was futile.

Once the limo stopped, the driver, an old man clad in a tuxedo, got out and set off to open the door for the passengers. The first one to step out was a beautiful girl with red eyes, albino hair tied up in a ponytail, and carrying the sheath of a practice sword aside from her school bag.

"Everyone, make space! Tenjoin-sama is making her entrance." Her imponent aura and voice filled with authority caused all the nearby students to immediately part and form a hallway.

The next girl that got out of the limo was clearly a foreigner unlike the first one. Red eyes as well, black hair like the night with a classical maidservant's tiara that she put back in her bag as she put her foot on the concrete. Appearance-wise, she looked to be 14, but her Sainan uniform and her well-endowed… "assets" told otherwise.

"Here's your bag, Ojou-sama."

"Ara. Thanks, Tomoe, Alice. You don't have to be this upbringing here, but I appreciate it."

The last one to get out was a young lady that carried herself elegantly despite wearing the same uniform as all the other students. Golden hair styled in large coils and tied with blue ribbons, brown eyes, and a really generous bust.

Her eyes scanned the entire area before she took even a step, and her regal expression changed radically the moment she spotted a certain mop of auburn hair trying to blend with the crowd.

"SHERO!" Throwing all her dignity to the wind, the young lady crossed the distance in a beat and trapped him in a bone-breaking hug. "I'm off the planet for a couple of days and you've already cheated on to me. I guess I'll have to keep an eye on you 24/7 to prevent infidelities."

The auburn-haired teenager rolled his eyes in resignation. "This isn't the place to have this kind of conversation, Luviagelita. 'sides, I can't cheat on you if we aren't in any kind of relationship, to begin with."

His cold rejection didn't seem to have any effect on her smile. Nothing new. "Aww, don't be so shy, Shero. You know we are definitely more than friends. In fact, I approve of you establishing relationships with Deviluke. And can't you just call me Luvia?"

"Right back at you. Why do you keep mispronouncing my name? Your Japanese is now perfect."

"But it's a cute nickname, don't you think?"

"Cute my ass! And quit with the hug already! Everyone is already starting to throw weak killing intentions at me."

Yeah, having the foreign super idol of the school acting so clingy with him only got him unnecessary attention from pretty much everyone in the vicinity. And pretty much no one saw in good light their interactions. Envy, distrust, plain anger, he could feel those emotions pointed right at him.

One in particular stood out the most, not only due to its sheer intensity but also because it was the only one pointed at Luvia instead of him.

"Hey!" Fortunately, someone intervened before things escalated further. "There is nothing to see here! Go to your respective classroom if you don't have any business with Tenjoin-sama! You are bothering her!"

Once again, Tomoe raised her voice and brought her hand close to her sheath. Just that gesture was already enough to make everyone in the vicinity all but flee in fear toward the school building.

You see, Kujo Tomoe wasn't just a servant. Like her counterpart back in Shirou's world, Tomoe Gozen, she also had oni heritage, which caused regular humans to instinctively run away the moment she let off some of her aura.

Unfortunately, now that they were alone, that hostility was completely focused on him.

"And you! Why do you keep on being rude to Luvia-sama!? You should feel honored she even pays you attention, regardless of your position."

It took all his willpower to hold back a snort. The last thing he wanted was to be harassed by an interstellar businesswoman that was also the Greek Goddess of justice.

"C'mon, Tomoe, now you're the one being rude. Besides, Shero's grumpiness is just his cute way to hide his shyness around beautiful girls, such as me."

Shirou released the snort he had been holding back. "As if. At any rate. Can we talk about my… predicament later?"

Judging by the mischievous smile that was drawn on her lips, she already knew what he wanted to ask for.

"Of course. Mikado-sensei will love to hear about your exploits conquering princesses, too. Let's meet during lunch at the infirmary."

She and Tomoe left after the former said that. Luckily for his mental health, they weren't in the same classroom. But oddly enough, Alice, the girl who worked as Luvia's personal maid, stayed behind and offered him an apologetic smile.

"You really have your work cut with those four, Shirou-san."

"Yeah…" He let his body relax for a moment around her despite all the questions her sole existence posed.

This girl was also a servant, but he had no idea what her true identity could be. He doubted Alice was even her real name. The idea of her just being another inhabitant of the Blue Shining Galaxy like Luvia's chauffeur couldn't be discarded, but unlike that man, her presence was unique… and somewhat familiar.

Wait, there was something weird within her words. Four? If she excluded herself, the only one he could think of aside from those two was Mikado-sensei.

"I'm talking about that other girl with blue hair." His confusion must have shown on his face as she answered his question even before he asked.

"Really? That massive killing intention came from Sairenji?"

"I'm pretty sure. You should be careful around her, Shirou-san. I have a feeling she's more than she lets out."

"Well, that's just one more weirdo in this crazy school."

That actually got a giggle out of her, and the two said goodbye to each other before heading to their respective classrooms.

---

"Oh, here!" Lala shouted happily after lifting another chunk of metal from her ruined spaceship, prompting Zastin to regroup with her.

"Does it work, Lala-sama?"

"Let's check it out."

There were some seconds of tense silence as the pink-haired alien cleaned the dust off a device similar to a cell phone and turned it on. The moment the screen lit up without problems and she was able to use it to pull out some kind of… heavily ornamented wrench, Zastin sighed relieved.

That saved him a long trip to Deviluke and having to inevitably report what happened to his king in person.

"Yes! I knew going the extra mile to make the D-Dial more resistant with those materials from the Oort Cloud would someday pay off." Her emerald eyes shifted to her now bodyguard before giving him a bright smile. "Thanks for helping me find it Zastin! I'll start my preparations immediately. Peke, did you finish adjusting the fly function to the Earth's gravity and atmosphere?"

"Of course, Lala-sama!" Just as the robot said that a pair of bat wings protruded from its body, allowing Lala to take off.

"Wait, Princess-" Zastin's words came a second too late. Lala pretty much flew into the distance at the speed of a plane. "Damn it, I need one of those too. Shirou-dono was right when he said that walking in armor attracts too much attention. Still…"

The tall alien turned around to see the absolute wreckage that resulted from Lala's ship crashing. The forest beside the city now had a new clearing, and they had been lucky it didn't catch fire.

"Cleaning this up is going to take some time, and I still have to write a proper report…"

"Excuse me, Sir. Do you copy me?"

Before Zastin could decide what to do first, he heard the voice of one of his subordinates through his earpiece.

"Yes, Mutts. What's the matter?"

"We detected an unidentified spaceship entering the Solar System. With its current speed, it should arrive at the Earth in three hours tops."

"So they are already coming. That was faster than I expected… As we talked, we will leave them to Shirou-dono unless the situation is really critical, but I'll at least warn him."

"Yes, Sir."

Not that he expected that to happen, at least soon. The people he saw meeting Lala weren't particularly strong themselves, but as heirs from other planets, they could easily hire a specialized hitman.

---

If some lessons were already… insipid for Yuuki Shirou on a regular basis, he could hardly pay any attention now that he had too many things on his mind.

It was the bell announcing lunch the only thing that managed to pull him out of the stupor. And when he was about to head to the infirmary, a familiar figure got in his way.

"Hey, Shirou-kun, do you want to have lunch with me again?" His stalker was back at it, and now that he looked at her, Alice was spot on. Haruna's smiley façade could barely contain her bad mood.

"Sorry, but I already got plans with other people." He could tell his plain answer broke her just by the way she froze for a moment.

"Huh? B-but you don't have friends."

Ugh, that hurt. Even if he was the sole responsible for that, hearing those blunt words still felt like a punch straight his guts.

"You're right I wouldn't call Luvia a friend, but I still need to discuss something with her. Maybe another time."

His words were followed by a dead silence. The way she squinted her eyes at him actually sent chills down the spine of everyone in the vicinity. But he let it be and made his way toward the infirmary. That was just another problem in the growing pile.

Not that he was too eager to retell the story of how he met Lala. Just as he expected…

"Ohohohohoho! I knew Shero was susceptible to finding himself in absurd situations, but that's over the top!"

"Fufufu. I guess you tempted fate when you dismissed Sir Gid as another of those grunts you encountered."

"I can only pity you, Yuuki Shirou. That kind of situation would be rare even back at the Shining Blue Galaxy."

"Hehe. I think that's just the kind of spiciness you needed in your life, Shirou-san."

The four ladies laughed at him, some louder than others, but the four somehow agreed that this was something he needed to break out of his bland routine. The fact that these space servants considered it something just above average on the scale of absurdness was already horrifying in itself.

"Are you guys done laughing? How did you guys know it already anyway?"

"You shouldn't underestimate our advanced communication technology, Shero. News, especially as big as the current princess of the galaxy finally getting a fiancée, spread fast."

"Luvia-sama ordered our pilot to immediately turn around and floor it. I'm pretty sure we burned through all our remaining Artorium."

Shirou found himself blinking owlishly upon hearing that last word from Alice. "What the hell is Artorium?"

His question went ignored, and Mikado-sensei shrugged, finding herself in the same situation. "It beats me. In my case though, I saw the announcement when I woke up this morning and I spent an entire minute checking that I wasn't seeing things."

"Well, shit. That means those other suitors Zastin mentioned will be here way faster than I expected…"

"At any rate. I was already on a journey to Deviluke to start a business relationship, but this is a great opportunity, Shero! You're not only the first servant to establish proper contact with the prime species of this galaxy, but you're already the governor's son-in-law! We'll get the permits to build the resort in no time!"

"Hey, hey, hey, hold your horses, Goddess of Scams. Leaving aside the fact that you want to ask an alien species for permits to build something here, why do you believe I'm willing to do that?"

"Oh? Didn't you want to ask for something? Like, say, a fake identity for Princess Lala?"

"What the-" It took him some second to pull himself together from the shock. "How many micros did you put in my house!?"

"Ohohoho! C'mon, Shero. You are too easy to read. And yes, I can prepare one as I did for everyone else in this room, but you have to do me a favor in return. What kind of Goddess of Justice would I be if I don't demand an equivalent exchange? Unless you want to accept my previous offer of course."

"Yeah, thanks, but no thanks." Like hell he would work as her butler. He wasn't that desperate. "I'll address it with Lala's bodyguard, but I can't guarantee anything."

"That's more than enough for me." Her brown eyes turned to look at her white-haired friend. "Tomoe, would you be a dear and call our contact?"

"I'll see to it, Luvia-sama."

"Thanks. Now, can you bring her here so we can specify the details of her identity, Shero?"

"I already promised to give her a tour around school this afternoon, so I'll leave her with you when we are done."

"Great! Now, would you at least let me get another taste of your bento?"

The auburn-haired teenager looked down, and he could swear he hadn't eaten even half of what was missing. The answer to the unasked question could be found in the stomachs of all the ladies in the room.

"Haaah… At least you asked this time…"

Some minutes later, Shirou was already returning to his classroom and dropping on his chair, not really ready to endure another batch of lessons.

"…?" But before the bell rang again, something at the other side of the window caught his attention.

Clouds forming a ring could be a coincidence, but once he enhanced his vision with reinforcement magecraft, he noticed a vapor trail falling right through it.

Whoever decided to land in broad daylight, they definitely didn't know the meaning of the word "discretion".

---

The forest outside the city became silent once again after another unidentified object crashed and modified the land.

"Gehehe…" A disturbing, inhuman laugh echoed throughout the devastated landscape as a scaled claw opened the hatch of the spaceship.

If that wasn't enough creepy, the humanoid, reptile creature that emerged shortly after would certainly horrify any human who had the misfortune of witnessing it. Its round yellow eyes surveyed the area around him while his other senses adjusted to the new atmosphere and environment.

"Such foolish girl. Did she really though coming to this backwater planet and hiding behind an unfounded legend would deter me? That only makes me want you more, Princess Lala."

His long legs started to bring him out of the forest as a twisted smile was drawn on its membranous lips. Just the thought of finally getting his hands on the gorgeous princess that rejected him now that she wasn't protected in her homeland filled it with excitement.

Once he was finally out of the woods, in a literal sense, his chameleon-like eyes focused to observe the urban landscape and the various sentient beings living in it. Of course, most of them were humans.

"Heh, just as I thought. The Earthlings are just a bunch of primitive weaklings. I bet Lala's fiancée is no exception. I'll play with him a little while I'm at it. But before…"

With a mental command, his scales started to shift, modifying his appearance. After less than a minute, he looked just like one of the humans going through their daily routine. And so, the alien blend in the crowds without a problem, his objective clear.

"They will regret their arrogance publishing the exact point in Earth where Yuuki Shirou lives."

It took more than the alien expected to find his way around, several hours at that. He could understand the human language to some extent, but reading the signs was still out of his reach for the moment, so he had to ask around.

But as fate will have, he actually didn't have to wait for Yuuki Shirou to arrive so it could confirm which was his home as he saw a certain pink-haired princess and her bodyguard jumping out of a window.

"I'll be going to Shirou's school then!"

"Wait, Lala-sama! I'm coming with you!"

While the princess flew away with a pair of artificial wings, the armored bodyguard ran behind like a madman. That sight caused its devious smile to widen further.

"This makes things even easier. You better be prepared, Princess Lala. The Great Ghi Bree will have you submitted soon."

---

The last bell of the day finally announced the end of the eternal wait for Yuuki Shirou. He quickly packed his things, and contrary to the majority of the students, he took the stairs leading to the rooftop.

He told Lala the direction in which the school was, but in his rush, he didn't tell her how to actually get there. So, he decided to use the rooftop as a vantage point, and with some luck, he would find her with his exceptional sigh.

Surprisingly, the one he spotted was Zastin, who at least had enough common sense to not enter the school through the main gate and seemed to be waiting for him at the back. But, where's…

"SHIROU!"

"…!" His train of thought got interrupted when someone suddenly landed beside him. His entire body spasmed as he forcibly stopped himself from finishing bringing Kanshou and Bakuya to reality and swinging them at the newcomer's throat. "Don't scare me like that, Lala!"

"Sorry, my bad. I can't help but feel a little excited. I'm about to see a glimpse of Shirou's daily life."

No shit. He could even see stars in her eyes. Unfortunately, he really doubted the school could meet her expectations. Besides…

"Err… what's with those wings? Is that another Devilukian trait?"

"These? No, they are a little addon Peke has. Anti-gravity wings. Do you like them? They make it really easy to cover long distances."

"Yeah…" He felt a drop of sweat slide through the back of his neck. More incredible technology she made sound like a piece of cake. "Anyway. Zastin came with you?"

Her emerald eyes followed his glance, and the moment she saw her bodyguard, she made a face as if she remembered something really important just now.

"Oh, right! He mentioned that he had something urgent to tell you."

"How urgent are we speaking?"

"I don't know. But for him to follow me on foot with such a serious face, I would say it's quite urgent, yes."

"Haaah…" Shirou let out a sigh. He could already imagine what issue did Zastin want to discuss. "Wait here for a moment, Lala. Meanwhile, can you change to something more… discrete?"

"Of course! Peke, can you analyze the uniforms of the girls leaving through the main gate?"

"Already on it, Lala-sama."

He left the two doing their thing and jumped to where Zastin was waiting.

"…!" He would be lying if he said that the way the armored alien jumped in surprise didn't amuse him. "Shirou-dono, don't scare me like that! But I guess Lala actually heard me if you're here."

It took him a second to hide the amused smile and fall back into his serious persona. "Yes, what's this 'important issue' you wanted to discuss?"

"I already mentioned that you will eventually have to fend off the other candidates that tried to marry Lala-sama, right? Well, we are already detecting some unidentified spaceships heading in the direction of this planet. One of them should have arrived some hours ago."

"Yeah, I pretty much saw that. Given their lack of subtility, I can bet it's one of those suitors. Before I have to fight them, is there something I have to be concerned about regarding their fighting power?"

Zastin lifted an eyebrow at that. The man who defeated him in a sword fight was worried?

"I can't personally attest to their powers personally, and as much as I would like to say that Sir Gid selected only the best warriors, he pretty much chose whoever volunteered. However, regardless of the state of the Galaxy, hiring an assassin to do the job isn't that hard. But fret not, if a big name, like say… Konjiki no Yami, appears, I will assist you."

"If anything, I will ask you to evacuate the civilians if things escalate too much. And in the remote case I'm not enough to take them down… there are other servants in the town."

That in itself wasn't a lie, but well, if he couldn't defeat the opponent then the planet was in some serious shit. Let's just hope all these aliens with questionable intentions arriving here don't prompt the planet to awaken that spider thing in south America… if that's even a thing in this universe.

"There are other servants here?" Zastin failed to conceal the immense surprise in his words.

"They don't reach the two digits if that's what you're alarmed off. In fact, does the name Astraea ring a bell? She told me that she wanted to do business with Deviluke. Something about making a resort for aliens here on Earth."

"I haven't heard that name in my life, but I'll include it in the official report if you wish, Shirou-dono. I can't guarantee Sir Gid will even pay it attention though"

It was Shirou who couldn't guarantee they wouldn't be scammed. That woman's way with words was only matched by her brawling skills. But they scammed him first with this whole situation, so he wasn't going to be the one to warn them.

"That's more than enough. At any rate, is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes, I'll take my leave then. I have a lot of things to do, starting by acquiring an incognito suit. Talking my way out when one of those blue-suited officials tried to arrest me this morning is an experience I don't want to repeat."

"I can imagine." Shirou waved the alien with a traumatized expression off and climbed back to the rooftop to be received by the sight of Lala dressing Sainan's uniform.

Luckily, Peke wasn't fused with it, changing the aesthetic in a weird way, and instead remained as a cute hairpin.

"You're finally back, Shirou. What do you think? Does it suit me?" The pink-haired alien asked while twirling around to let him get a full view.

But… how was he supposed to answer that question? That wasn't a dress she chose in a clothing store. Those clothes were made to suit all the female students.

"You… look just like any other student. You'll be able to blend perfectly as long as nobody questions the bulge in your skirt caused by your tail."

His utilitarian answer definitely wasn't what she wanted to hear if her cute pout and Peke's judging stare were of any indication.

"Well, before we get going, do you have any questions already?" He changed topics quickly, and fortunately, she followed his game.

"Yes! What are all the students doing down there? They are wearing more lighter and comfy uniforms." He didn't need to follow her hand to know she was pointing to all the sports clubs using the courtyard for their daily practices.

"Those are the sports clubs. Basically, ways to burn excess energy, keep your body in shape, and compete with each other. Your planet must have an equivalent. Those running through the painted lanes are from the athletic club. Those in the yard surrounded by fences are the baseball club, those on the rectangular courts are the tennis club, and that building over there is the dojo, where the Kendo and Kyudo clubs can practice. There are more clubs inside this building, but they are more about spending time with shared hobbies."

"Oh…" He didn't know if he should find it cute or depressing the way she digested that information as if it were a great discovery that would change the world as they knew it. "And are you a member of any of those clubs?"

"No, although I know my way around them. I always volunteer to keep their equipment as good as new."

She already knew the reason behind that. The same reason why he decided to help her despite knowing nothing of her and her circumstances. But…

"Why not? Didn't Mikan say school was a place to make friends and enjoy your youth?"

"Well… for once, joining a sports club just to conceal my real capabilities would be awkward, to say the least. As for the other kind of clubs… I don't have any hobbies in common with them. Not everyone finds entertaining fixing things." Neither he had friends for that matter, but he didn't want to fuel the growing concern on her face.

"In that case… I know! Why don't we make our own club!? I not only like to create devices but also to fix them!"

Shirou had to make a double take. That definitely wasn't something he was expecting to hear. The idea had its merit, but…

"I don't think that's possible. In order to create a club, we need at least three members and a classroom to use as our… 'base'." That immediately took the wind off her sails, but he managed to salvage it. "But I don't mind if the "Fake Janitor" gets a sidekick. I can't be in all places, and I'm sure you are fitter to fix the alien technology of some… individuals I'll introduce you later."

"Yay! Then, what do you want to show me next?"

"Follow me." With her enthusiasm renewed, Shirou decided to show her the school building.

How could she find it exciting to see an empty classroom was incomprehensible from his perspective, but once again, as a secluded princess, pretty much any scenery was new to her. And the sight of the twilight through the window was always beautiful, regardless of their precedence.

The same case was the cafeteria, the small backyard with vending machines, the clock tower amidst the building… and with that, he ran out of hot spots. This wasn't exactly a touristic place. But after thinking it through, he came up with an idea.

"You know, since you'll definitely catch her attention, I think I should introduce you to her already."

Lala tilted her head in confusion, but she decided to wait and see what Shirou meant. They climbed back to the second floor and reached a certain door.

"…and we need to collect signatures to increase the length of the female uniform skirts…"

Lala could already hear the strict voice of a girl giving a speech about… keeping moral decency in the school by eliminating contact between students of the opposite sex?

If that wasn't already surprising enough, the mischievous smile that formed on Shirou's lips as he flung the door open definitely was.

"Huh- what!?" The girl in question, a student of his age with waist-long black hair and deep brown eyes, was startled by Shirou's entrance and almost choked with her own tongue, causing some of the other people to laugh rather than be shocked.

"Yo, Kotegawa! Sorry if I'm interrupting something important, but I got someone I want to introduce to you."

It took her a second to reboot, her expression shifting from surprise to shame and annoyance. "Don't 'Yo!' me, Yuuki-kun! How many times do I have to tell you, just because people call you a… delinquent, you shouldn't act like one! And what do you mean-"

Her words came to an abrupt stop when she saw Lala's face popping over Shirou's shoulder, and the pink-haired took it as her clue to step in. As he expected, her supernatural beauty left no one in the room indifferent.

"Hello there! I'm Lala, Lala Satalin Deviluke! I'll be attending this school soon, and Shirou here offered to show me around in advance. I'm pleased to me you all!"

""OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!"" The trio of teenagers flinched when the male students that had been listening to Kotegawa's speech now let out a bestial roar powered by their hormones. Even some of the female students were charmed by her.

"Wha-" Kotegawa had a mental crisis as she saw the members of her committee act so… shamelessly. And that culminated in a really scary expression and a murderous aura. "What in the world are you thinking!? This is the public morals committee! Such shameless acts are completely forbidden! The poor soul that doesn't have a sheet filled with "I will never think of indecent things again" will face my judgment!"

That threat got everyone firm as if they were in a military camp. Even Lala looked at her perplexed before those brown eyes drilled her very soul.

"I am Kotegawa Yui, founder of the public morals committee. I know you cannot be blamed for your… beauty but try not to entice the male students too much. And what's with that weird hairpin? Even if you're not officially enrolled, if you decided to wear our uniform you should still abide by our dress code-"

That already got Lala tilting her head with confusion, and that caused her to not be able to react in time when Kotegawa grabbed Peke.

"Wait, don't-"

"Huh!?"

The moment Peke was no longer in contact with her, all the material mimicking the school uniform started to return to him at an alarming pace. But luckily for her, a certain golden-eyed boy reacted in time and forced Kotegawa's hand to reattach the robot to Lala's hair.

The girl in question looked at the big hand holding hers before staring at the owner with a somewhat shocked face, only to be received with a strained smile.

"C'mon, Kotegawa, cut her some slack. I know you're uptight, but a cute hairpin won't hurt anyone. And if someone wants to lay a finger on her, well, let's say I'll personally "convince" them to refrain from it."

Every male student in the vicinity felt a shiver when the word "convince" was uttered.

"Fine… I'll let it be for the moment." Kotegawa ended up conceding as she retreated her hand, but her piercing stare now focused on him. "But may I ask what kind of relationship are you two in?"

"Oh, Shirou and I are enga-"

"WE'RE JUST ACQUAINTANCES!" Shirou shouted over Lala's voice, the cursory glare he threw at her being more than enough for her to get his message. "She's the daughter of a friend of my mother back in the USA and decided to come here as an exchange student."

He lied as easily as breathing. There was no way out of this without it, and thankfully, he was versed in the art, unlike his other self. The next question that came, though…

"And where is she staying?"

"At my place. That way she didn't have to spend so much money and live on her own." He couldn't lie his way out of this one. People would start to be suspicious if they walked to and from the school every day and she always carried a bento prepared by him.

Judging by the way Kotegawa's cheeks became bright red, she didn't like that answer one bit.

"A-a-a bo-boy and a gi-girl of the same age li-living under the same roof!? That's unacceptable! The pinnacle of shameless acts! I can't allow that! Who knows what forbidden acts you two will commit in the night!"

"Eh? Why not?" The pout Lala made melted everyone's heart. "Shirou has been really nice to me ever since I arrived. And he has seen me naked already anyway."

""WHAT!?""

A sound like some machinery that hasn't been oiled for years came out of Shirou's neck as he slowly turned to look at Lala, his eyebrow trembling uncontrollably. And the only answer he got was an "Oops".

To his horror, he saw how Kotegawa opened her mouth for another of her lengthy lectures about public decency, but fortunately, or unfortunately depending on who you asked, someone cut in the conversation.

"YUUKI, YOU BASTARD!" A voice came from behind, and when he turned, he was received by an angry mob led by Saruyama. "Why do you get to have the cute transfer student that doesn't mind being seen naked!? That's unfair! You already have Tenjoin-sama! Our hatred and envy are reaching new heights! Everyone, on to the trial with him!"

His speech certainly motivated the mob behind him, but certainly enough, any of them seemed to be valiant enough to take even a single step forward. Something in the back of their minds told them that the only thing that awaited them onward was a world of pain. And the blank stare that Shirou threw wasn't helping.

"What do you mean, Kageyama? If you really want a girlfriend, you should start thinking about dismantling that perverted sect you call "gamer club" and making a decent image for yourself."

"Ugh!" Saruyama collapsed on the ground helplessly, Shirou's words having dug into his flesh like vicious knives.

"AAAHH! Boss was destroyed in seconds!"

"The truth was too much for him!"

"Hold up a moment." And to their growing horror, Kotegawa stepped out of the classroom, just her presence already making them tremble. "I want to hear more about this shameless club that goes around spying on others."

"RUN!"

Of course, none of them wanted to answer her and immediately made a run for it.

"After them! I'll consider those who capture one of those perverts exempted from their punishment!"

""Yes, ma'am!""

Lala could only blink in confusion as she saw a reenacting of Salem's witch trials. It was only when Shirou took her hand and hurried her out of the crossfire towards the lower floor that she finally reacted.

"Shirou… school is really this eventful on a daily basis?"

"Absolutely not… I knew Kotegawa was going to put us through the interrogation room sooner or later, so I decided to get done with it… but that sure escalated quickly."

Those boys definitely saved him there. That was pretty much the only reason he didn't just scare them with a little of his real presence.

"A-anyway. Do you want to see something more before I introduce you to my… contact?"

"Can we take a look at the sports clubs up close? I'm still intrigued by the sports on Earth."

"Very well."

And so, the two of them visited all the clubs through the courtyard, and thankfully, their members weren't that… peculiar.

Poor Kotegawa. More than half of the members of her committee were only there in an attempt to hit on her.

But the normal things stopped when they reached the tennis courts. Shirou couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. It's been already half an hour since they saw from the rooftop the tennis club warming up, but the teacher acting as the club's advisor was nowhere to be seen. The concern and confusion plastered on the faces of the members told him the guy didn't just go to take a pee.

"Oh, Yuuki-kun!" It didn't seem to matter that much to a certain blue-haired girl that cheerfully greeted him. "Given that you already checked our equipment this week, did you come to see me- HUH!?"

And all that cheerfulness went down the drain the moment her eyes landed on Lala beside him.

"Oh!? Are you actually a friend of Shirou!? Nice to meet you! I'm Lala. Lala Satalin Deviluke. I'm Shirou's fi- I mean, I'm the daughter of a friend of his mom, and I decided to enroll in this school while I'm staying at his place."

"…!" The fury was completely surpassed by the sheer shock. Her legs trembled before giving in, and all color and life left her face.

The combo of calling him by his name, living in his house, and almost calling him 'fiancée' was too much for her to handle. Not even the "blonde cow" had made such advances despite how aggressive she was. Her consciousness faded gradually, the worried screams of her clubmates lost in the distance.

But a ray of hope pierced the darkness when she saw Shirou's expression turn to concern as he grabbed her before she hit the ground.

"Hold on, Sairenji! I'm no expert but I can treat epilepsy! I have sugar bars!"

"I'm not epileptic! And that's for diabetics low on sugar!"

The bad joke seemed to have done the trick and she was back to normal much to everyone else's surprise. Her threatening eyes shifted from him to Lala, before she opened her mouth and pointed at herself with her thumb.

"I'm Sairenji Haruna, and I am the first one who got his number!"

Her words were followed by a chorus of surprised voices. Some were surprised, others mortified like her closest friends, and others were just enjoying the show. But defying all their expectations, a bright smile was drawn on Lala's face as she took Sairenji's hand.

"Then we can definitely be friends, Haruna! I friend of Shirou is a friend of mine."

"Wha-wha- Why are you acting so close!?" The blue-haired girl grimaced visibly as she put some distance between the two, but Lala didn't mind it.

It was going to take her some time to get used to Japan's… less straightforward customs. Shirou and the other servants were the only exceptions.

What actually made the golden-eyed frown was the way Sairenji's left hand tensed for a moment. An attack with her own bare hand? No, it happened after she jumped back, and her legs didn't get in position to dash forward. But if that case, what was she about to do instinctively before she reigned over her emotions?

"Well, well, it's good to see you're all in good spirits." I familiar voice cut into the conversation. But rather than preventing things from getting more awkward, it did the opposite.

Sairenji's mood only sunk more as she saw Luvia approaching with Tomoe and Alice in tow. There was also a guy Shirou barely recognized with them. A blonde man in his thirties who was the picture of a handsome coach. He must be the Tennis Club's adviser, but…

"Sorry for making you wait, girls. I got a little disoriented after going to the bathroom, but thankfully, Miss Tenjoin here helped me. Oh…" His blue eyes landed on Lala, his grin becoming wider. "Oh? You must be the rumored transferred student I heard about. Lala Satalin Deviluke, right? Are you considering joining the Tennis Club?"

"Hehe… I might give it a thought…" Even Lala reacted awkwardly to that.

But before Shirou stepped in to drill the guy with his eyes, Luvia got ahead of him and shook Lala's hand with a gracious smile.

"It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Lala-san. I'm Tenjoin Luviagelita, but you can call me Luvia. Shero must have mentioned me before. I'll help you with the process of getting enrolled to this school."

"Oh, right! You are the "contact" Shirou mentioned! When do we begin!"

A chuckle escaped Luvia's lips seeing Lala's honest enthusiasm. Shirou could already see the dollar symbols in her eyes. That Goddess of Scam…

"Follow me. There is a lot we need to talk about, and a person you need to meet. Meanwhile, Yuuki-kun can go buy your school utensils."

With that said the two ladies walked back to the school and the members of the Tennis club returned to their daily routine. Shirou decided to ignore the hopeful glance he got from Sairenji and looked one last time at the weird guy before addressing Tomoe and Alice in a quiet voice.

"Was always the Tennis Club's advisor a… thing pretending to be a human?"

"Of course not. That thing is just impersonating him. We don't know where he dropped the real Sasuga-sensei though."

"Luvia-sama let him be since that thing is harmless and it seems to have business with Lala-sama and you, Shirou-san. But if you want, we can dispose of it immediately."

"No…" Those words coming from Alice were really disturbing. She somehow felt more dangerous than the warrior maiden beside her. "I'll clean up my own mess. Leave Lala's suitors to me. I'll get rid of them if they try something funny."

He received a nod from the two servants, and they pretended that conversation never happened before going their separate ways.

He didn't expect Lala to need school tools this week, but as Luvia suggested, it didn't hurt having them already prepared.

---

Later that night…

"Oh, by the way, I'll be attending school tomorrow, Shirou! I'll even be in the same classroom!"

"Wha-" The surprise caused Shirou to almost lose his hold on the dish he was cleaning. "No way! You can't just have a fake identity ready in less than half a day!"

"Ah, Luvia also said it will take some time, yes, but I didn't need it. We spoke with the director, and he gladly accepted my request to enroll in his school. He said something like 'Ooohhh! I can't say no to another foreign beauty like Luvia-chan here!'"

"…" The golden-eyed boy decided to make no comment about that. Who was he kidding? Of course, that pervert would overlook the total lack of certification on her part as long as she was cute.

"The rumors of that… peculiar director are true I see…" Mikan shared the same blank expression as her brother as she diverted her attention from the TV. "By the way, Lala, your Japanese is really fluent, but do you know how to write it?"

"No, I don't even know how to read or speak it." Her blunt admission was followed by a dead silence only interrupted by the show on the TV. "I mean, the only reason we can understand each other is because of the translating device everyone in the universe carries. It converts my voice into something your brain can interpret and vice versa."

"Guess I'll have to teach you and take your notes during lessons…" Shirou said as he put down the last dish.

"On that note, can you lend me your communication device for a moment? I need to replicate the wavelength so I can contact you with my D-Dial." She showed her cell-like device to make her point, which got Shirou sweatdropping.

"I don't know if it will be that easy, but sure…"

She took the cell and immediately started analyzing it like a kid who just got her Christmas present.

"I'm heading to bed already. Goodnight to you two. And, Mikan, don't stay late watching TV."

"I know. You're not the only one who has their brain wracked."

"Wait, I'm going to, Shirou."

Lala followed him to the second floor of the house, but surprisingly, instead of entering the guest room that was now her room, she entered his room.

"Eh? Do you want to talk about something in private?"

"No, actually…" In front of his questioning stare, she walked to his closet and opened it. To his utter astonishment, he saw a metallic door behind his clothes that by all means shouldn't be there. "I wanted to show you my provisional workshop."

"I see… but… why is it connected to my room?"

"I connected it to all the closets in the house. That way you can call me or visit me at any time."

The idea of having a workshop right next to his room, even if it wasn't a magus', was still unsettling for him. But he decided to humor her and took a peek. The first word that came to mind would definitely be…

"What a mess…"

What received him was a small room with a futuristic workbench, but he couldn't even see the floor with all the accumulated devices and junk.

Lala cringed visibly, most likely remembering this just a moment ago. "Hehe. I really need to clean this. I was taking inventory of the things I had stored in my D-Dial that could be useful to build my room, but as you can guess, that wasn't the case."

"I wish I could help you, but unless it's a sword you are asking for, creating things from scratch isn't my thing. Let alone if it's technology humanity can't comprehend."

"Don't worry, it will take longer but it'll be fun! And don't hesitate to ask for anything you need, Shirou. It's the least I can do in return for everything you're doing for me."

At the end of her speech, she gave him a sincere smile. That smile once again caused a myriad of unknown emotions to spring in his chest. One of the he only remembered recently after having discarded it ages ago.

The joy that came from making someone else happy.

"I'm not expecting any compensation for something I did on a whim, but if you insist, I'll keep it in mind…"

There was an awkward pause. Shirou hit his limit of things to talk about when he was alone with a girl some hours ago. At least one that he was comfortable around.

"Err… I'll leave you to it then. Goodnight, Lala. Don't stay up too late or you'll be a zombie tomorrow."

"I'll try to hold back. At least I'll have our communication ready."

With the door closed, the otherworldly atmosphere dissipated, and his room returned to being the same boring room as always.

"Ahh…" With a tired sight, the golden-eyed teenager changed into his pajama and say on his bed. His body demanded more sleep hours due to all the crazy stuff happening in less than two days, but he pushed it aside for a moment. There was one last thing he needed to do before letting the dreamworld catch him.

"Trace, on." He turned on his magic circuits and projected a random sword. Just a second later, he dismissed it and pulled out another blade from his reality marble.

Practice makes the master. And now more than ever, he needed to be in top shape. Not only his skills but also… his mental state.

Lala's presence certainly brought changes. Shirou himself was no exception. It didn't have to do with her or all the crazy stuff her sole presence put into motion though. Intended or not, he managed to save someone… without having to destroy something else in exchange.

He was a destroyer, a role he had come to terms with a long time ago. Trying to pursue that beautiful dream with deadly steel was always fated to failure. At best, he could only pave the way that the real stars could illuminate. And even that became impossible when he got so good at decimating others that he ended up killing those stars too.

But this was the first step towards that long-dropped ideal that he could never foresee. Perhaps… Perhaps he could actually talk things out with those suitors… perhaps no one has to die here…

Who was he kidding? That thing was already trying to impersonate someone, and most likely, that poor soul was already lost. There was no way that guy wasn't up to something wicked. The most reasonable way was to just get rid of him before he hurt another person-

"Tch." He bit his lips and his right hand tightened around the hilt of a sword when those thoughts crossed his mind. Just some days ago, he would have done just that the moment that thing entered his field of view. But now… he couldn't.

The status quo was shattered, and he no longer could just execute his routine like an uncaring machine.

His golden eyes observed the sword in his hand. Coincidentally, it was Bakuya. One of the twin blades forged with perfection but lacking a purpose. The swords that captivated him the moment his eyes landed on them because he too was born from that fire without a purpose.

Those blades he dreamed of giving them the noble purpose they deserved, but in the end, they just became another tool for murder in his hands. Another beautiful thing he ruined…

"One chance… I'll at least hear what that thing has to say." He spoke as if to reassure himself in a trembling voice before finally turning off the lights and laying down.

---

Surprisingly, Shirou didn't dream with any regretful memories that night. In fact, he slept like a newborn baby. He even felt invigorated when the first rays of sunlight entered the window to wake him up.

"Hmm…" Yet, his body still felt cramped when he moved to start his morning routine. "Wait… Something here isn't adding up… I don't just feel heavy… I feel something soft…"

Carefully, he pushed aside the blanket with his free hand, only to be received by a view that caused his blood flow to invert and his diaphragm to stop working.

A sleeping beauty, in a literal sense, lay beside him. Her pristine body charmed him with even more power than the first time. Her peaceful face didn't lose any of its beauty despite the saliva trail, her pink hair remained silk-like despite how messy it was, and her otherworldly curves were only highlighted by the dim light entering through the window. But most importantly, her generous bosom was wrapping around his left arm.

In short, the wet dream of every hormonal teenager. Not even Shirou could fully resist that kind of attack.

"La-la-la-la… LALA!?" He managed to get out of his system some of the excess heat through his mouth, even if it didn't sound that manly.

A cute sound let him know that he managed to wake up the pink-haired alien. With a great amount of calm, she rose up, rubbed her eyes, and cleaned the saliva from the corner of her mouth.

"Good morning, Shirou. I see you're excited today…"

"Don't give me that crap! Why the hell are you sleeping in my bed!? And naked at that!"

"Well… I always have Peke recharge his batteries by night… and… right, I came to give you your cell back, but you were sleeping so peacefully I couldn't help it but join you…"

Despite his embarrassment, Shirou shot a blank stare at her. "You just collapsed from the fatigue, didn't you?"

"Something like that, hehe."

He pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate the migraine. His heart won't resist more mornings like this… He decided to just brush it off, take his phone, and run away from the scene before too much of his blood got trapped in his… "sword".

"Haaah… I bet you haven't slept more than 4 hours… You can continue sleeping here while I start my routine."

"Okay- KYA!?" A cry filled with surprise and… pleasure? scaped Lala's lips suddenly.

"Huh? What's the matter?"

"M-M-My tail- aaugh! It's sensitive!"

His eyes scanned the scene searching for her tail and he realized his hand was leaning right on it. He immediately withdrew his arm, and the erotic moans ceased as Lala collapsed as if she just reached the… culmination point.

Mental note, get those sheets right into the washing machine after that.

"What kind of weakness is that? That seems completely irrational from an evolutionary standpoint."

"I'm not… fully… Devilukian… My mom… is a Charmian…" She managed to explain between ragged breaths. And that name for a species answered several questions Shirou had ever since they met.

"At any rate, I'll be on my way-"

Unfortunately, he was interrupted when a livid Mikan barged into his room. "Onii-chan, what in the world are you doing at this hour-"

All her momentum died the moment her brain finished processing the image of a naked, drenched, and exhausted Lala on his bed. It was inevitable that she reached that conclusion. As if someone just hit the rewind button, she stepped back and slammed the door shut before shouting!

"Aaaah! Sorry for interrupting when you two finally decided to get intimate! Please try to keep it down from now on!"

"WAAAIT! THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK!"

Much to his regret, he would think back and realize that the first calm morning was just an exception. The rest of his mornings were a mess just like this.

Later, when he was already sitting at his desk and waiting for the first lesson to begin, he desperately caressed his temple. His migraine didn't seem to calm down, and it was about to get worse.

"…I'm lucking forward to making precious memories here, and I'll be in your care, everyone!" The "mysterious transferred student" finished her enthusiastic introduction, and pretty much everyone that didn't meet her already started to greet her loudly or gossip among themselves.

Yeah, not leaving the detail of living in his place out caused 99% of those gossip to be about their relationship. He just prayed she remembered to not announce their current forced engagement when he wasn't around.

Shirou was already preparing himself to step on the gas while taking notes when the teacher decided to finally put an end to the round of questions and Lala sat just beside him. Writing with both his hands in the two notebooks at the same time would be too flashy, so he would have to just do it quickly.

He left his hands on autopilot thought. His mind was completely focused on tracking the thing impersonating Sasuga-sensei, to no avail. The guy didn't show up for any of the PE lessons in the morning.

He didn't just run away after finding out the only servant he would face wasn't just him, but another three with a divine spirit among them, right?

"Shirou! Is it now when we get to eat our bentos!?" It had to be Lala who pulled him out of his trance. He was so focused that he missed even the shrill alarm.

"Right, here's yours." He handed her the second bento he prepared that morning after somewhat convincing Mikan that this morning's incident was just an unfortunate accident. His tone, though, was aloof, his head still focused on other matters, and he made no move to take out his own bento.

Lala tilted her head at such a sight. If anything, the boy in front of her always made sure to devour his own food. "Shirou? Aren't you hungry?"

Before the boy could even replay, a group of girls led by Sairenji's friends approached her with their own bentos.

"Why don't you have lunch with us instead, Lala-chan?"

"Yeah. Even if you have to live under the same roof, you shouldn't stay close to him more than you need."

Despite what her usual airhead impression everyone got from her, the contempt behind their stares didn't go unnoticed by her. It was… unbelievable. The difference in the way their classmates and the rest of the students treated him.

She sent a doubtful look at him, but he was still unfazed by the tense atmosphere. In fact, he found this as an opportunity. With his next course of action in mind, the auburn-haired boy rose from his sit and gave her a smile.

"Sorry, I have to do something before. Feel free to go ahead without me."

The time they had spent together was still short, but even so, she could tell that apparently normal smile was fake. The way he walked into the hallway was also like when he fought Zastin's underlings.

"So, how was it back in your country, Lala-chan?"

"Did you have a boyfriend?"

However, much to her dismay, the beginning of the barrage of trivial questions and the sounds produced by the girls joining their tables with her felt like a padlock sealing away any escape route.

As the pink-haired girl did her best to not look dejected in front of her new classmates, Shirou advanced through the hallways towards a room no regular students would dare to approach without having been summoned.

The teachers' lounge.

If there was someone who knew where "Sasuga-sensei" was, that would be one of his fellow teachers. He already had prepared his act as an innocent student worried about the teacher that went missing yesterday.

"Oh, hey there, Yuuki-kun." But as luck might have it, he didn't even have to reach his destination as an adult voice came from his side.

"…!" His golden eyes widened for a moment as he saw the blonde, young teacher walking beside him.

Impossible. There was no way that thing could sneak up on him. Even if he somehow hid his presence, the repulsive feeling Shirou got from him should have triggered his instincts. Unless…

This Sasuga-sensei wore a casual smile without any hidden intention, and his movements, albeit a little numb, weren't elaborated in other to look like a human's. In other words… this really was the real deal.

"Good afternoon, Sasuga-sensei… If I may ask… you don't look that well."

"Is it that obvious? I kind of blacked out yesterday while I was in the toilet before starting the session with the Tennis Club."

The teacher scratched the back of his head as his smile turned awkward. He supposed the only reason this man was sharing this with him was that he was the only reason the Tennis Club was doing well with their small budget… and he was no girl, so he didn't have to maintain appearances.

"Fortunately, Alice-chan from the first year found me and brought me to the infirmary so Mikado-sensei could treat me. She must be really strong if she could carry me with that small body. I need to recruit her if I have the chance."

"I see…" He stopped and let the man continue his march alone while trying to interiorize the frown.

If the real Sasuga was around, then that thing must have changed its appearance. In other words, things really got complicated.

With a quick turn of his heels, he headed in the opposite direction. The other servants and Mikado-sensei ought to know something if they managed to rescue Sasuga-sensei.

But he didn't get to advance ten meters before his phone in his pocket started to ring. His brows furrowed when he saw the number on its screen. Not that he had a lot of contacts, but it was an unknown number calling during school hours.

Even if it was advertising, that was in bad taste. His finger moved to slide the hang-up button, but it stopped at the last moment. The question: "What if it's something actually important?" crossed his mind. A valid question that every human with access to a phone has met at some point in their life.

"Well, I can always hang up if it turns out to be just another phone company trying to turn me to their side." He decided to make sure it wasn't something important and picked up the call.

"Yuuki Shirou on the phone. Who am I speaking with?"

---

Some minutes ago…

Back in the classroom, aside from the group of girls having lunch with Lala and the few male students that didn't cower under Kotegawa's judging glare and flee, a certain blue-haired girl waited for her opportunity.

Having learned from her previous experience, Sairenji concluded that the best way to spend time with Shirou was just dropping by unannounced. That must be how that burglar cat got ahead so fast.

Therefore, she had waited patiently for Shirou to walk out of the room while memorizing the direction in which he went. The sound of his light steps she was already familiar with allowed her to estimate his walking speed. When he was already far enough to not notice her following his trail, Haruna rose from his desk without making a single noise.

The popular girl that had always had everyone's attention was now moving through the classroom unnoticed like an expert assassin. A mischievous smile was plastered on her lips though.

Maybe she had been a little bit aggressive as of late, but that was only due to the sudden appearance of the cow. She was forced to shift from her passive stance, like some who observed a beautiful flower from afar, into an all-out assault.

And to be honest, she was reaching her limit too. Aaah… she was dying to finally drown him in her love…

"Sairenji-chan, do you have a moment?" Her good mood instantly soared the moment that familiar voice entered her ears.

Her enthusiastic expression turned murderous as she turned to look at the pervert they had for a director. A small, bald man that was quite… wide. He always wore sunglasses and was dressed in a brown formal suit that he wouldn't hesitate to throw away the moment he came across a beautiful lady.

"What can I help you with, director-san?" Despite her polite words, she didn't bother to hide even a little bit of her anger.

The man seemed to be taken aback for a moment, before coughing and addressing her once again in a formal tone. "There is something I must discuss with you, young lady. Would you please accompany me?"

Haruna couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. Not only was the man holding back his urges way better than usual, but shouldn't he use the PA system for this kind of thing?

"Lead the way then." She forced those words out of her and followed the small man. Her bad mood started to surface despite her efforts if the way everyone avoided them was a sign.

If she was being honest, she wasn't really sure why she didn't just knock him out and continued with her issues. Shirou already did that a couple of times when things got out of control. But she had a hunch. Feminine intuition if you will.

The director was… giving her the same unsettling feeling she felt from Lala, which was weird, to say the least. What could those two possibly have in common?

"…?" Absorbed in her thoughts and bad mood, Haruna realized a bit too late that they were going in the opposite direction of the director's office. In fact, they were outside the school building, about to enter the shed beside the courtyard where the sports clubs left their materials.

"Err… what are we doing here, Director?"

"Let's get inside before I tell you, Sairenji-chan. This is a private issue."

That wasn't shady at all. But again, this isn't how the director always acted. He would have just assaulted her in plain sight by now.

"Well, whatever." She shrugged before entering the dark shed. Whatever he was trying to do, she wasn't afraid in the least.

She closed the door behind her and sent the "director" a questioning glare. "Well, what do you want to talk about, director-san?"

A hideous smile was drawn on the man's lips. A sight that any student of Sainan High would find horrifying compared to the actual director. And to top it off, what came out when his lips parted was a completely unfamiliar and inhuman voice.

"Kehehe… Thanks for not putting up any resistance, Sairenji-chan. Mmm~ You won't just be the perfect hostage to lure in Yuuki Shirou, you will also be a really good slave after I train you properly. Now, shall we begin?"

Just as he dropped those last words, he pulled out what looked like a small remote control from his pockets and proceeded to point it at her before pressing one of its buttons.

"…!" Haruna let out a surprised voice when several mechanical tentacles sprung from every dark corner of the room and quickly wrapped around her arms and legs, completely restricting her movements.

However, unlike yesterday, there wasn't an instinctive response on her part. Her brain pretty much muted everything the "director" said except for the line that contained the name Yuuki Shirou.

She didn't understand that thing's reasons, but if what she assumed was right, then… she was to be a damsel in distress and Yuuki-kun would come to rescue her like a gallant knight!

Just that idea was enough to excite her so much that she almost burned the restraints on her by accident. Instead, she reigned her emotions as she could and prepared herself for the role of her life. Who would have known that this thing would actually help her?

After taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth and…

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! Get away from me! Yuuki-kun, save me!"

"Kehehehahahaha!" The thing laughed, delighted by Haruna's "panicked screams". "Those are good screams. Unfortunately, we can't have you alerting the entire school, can we? You'll have to wait a little bit before I can get to you."

He pressed another button, commanding one of the tentacles to crawl up to Haruna's face and spray some kind of gas. The effect was almost instantaneous, with the girl falling completely unconscious.

"Now then. Let's begin the main event." The "director" closed in and searched her until he found her cell phone. Unlocking it was child's play, he just had to press one of her fingers on the fingerprint reader as he saw her do yesterday, and finding the number he required was even easier.

The "Darling Shirou" surrounded by hearts was a dead giveaway.

After some reverberations, the boy on the other side of the call finally picked it up.

"Yuuki Shirou on the phone. Who am I speaking with?"

"Greetings, Yuuki Shirou. You don't know me yet, but if you are engaged with Princess Lala, you must know you are far from the only one who tried to get her for themselves." The "director" spoke with a tone filled with smugness, not hiding his wickedness in the least.

"I see, so you are one of them… How did you even get my number?"

Shirou in turn replied unfazed, but that was fine. The human must be taking him lightly, but that will change soon enough.

"Hehehe, that's because I'm using the phone of your dear friend, Sairenji Haruna." He could swear he heard a snort on the other side of the call, but he continued undisturbed. "And, by the way, if you don't come to the shed beside the tennis courts quickly, I might get bored and start training her body to suit more my tastes."

With his piece said, the only thing he could hear on the other side of the call was dead silence. But he didn't even wait for Shirou's reply and hung up. It was best to leave things vague, so the doubts and fear settled in the boy's heart.

The human that was only chosen to be a figurehead would now experience true despair. A position that should have been only benefits and privileges would now bring him horror and despair not to just himself, but his friends.

"Hehehe… I can't wait to see the horror on his face. It will be a worthy appetizer before getting to see Lala's… I feel like I'll climax at any second."

The wait became eternal, seconds becoming entire hours. For a moment, the "director" thought that the human boy just abandoned her friend and ran away in panic… which would complicate things. But fortunately, he was finally able to hear approaching footsteps.

With a loud bang, the door was flung open, and light entered the shed again. However, the temperature dropped a couple of degrees as the auburn-haired boy entered the room.

There was not an ounce of fear to be seen on his face. His golden eyes scanned the room and calmly assessed the situation. His expression remained unfazed even with the sight of the unconscious Haruna, and when those golden eyes landed on him, the "director" felt a chill run down his spine.

Th-the boy had guts, he had to at least give him that. But let's see how long it lasts.

"Hehehe, you actually came, Yuuki Shirou. Are you prepared to beg for mercy? You better start doing everything I tell you if you don't want your friend here to suffer."

Another silence followed his words. But after a couple of seconds, Shirou's expression changed to… a blank stare while he relaxed his stance.

"You know… I can hardly take you seriously with that appearance. If you want to intimidate someone, you should work more on your image and the way you project presence."

"Eh?" Those words hit the alien like a truck. His entire body started to tremble in fury, but to his dismay, the boy had a point. "Hehe, I was just being considered to you, human. But if you insist on seeing my true form, then be my guest!"

With that said, his scales shapeshifted, returning to his reptilian appearance that towered a head above the auburn-haired boy. With this, there was no way he would freak out. The Tennis teacher literally passed out the moment he witnessed it… and made quite a mess in the room since he had still been peeing…

At any rate. It was time to see the sheer fear in his-

"Oh? I guess that reptilian nonsense on the internet wasn't that baseless." Shirou spoke casually as if the terrifying being in front of him were just a cute animal.

"Don't you understand the situation you're in!? I am the great Ghi Bree! Humans should fear a superior being like me! And don't think I'll believe that servant nonsense! That's just an urban legend to prevent people from crossing the frontier with the next universe!"

This time Shirou blinked like an owl after the alien's outburst before whispering "so that's how it is". Whatever crossed his mind, it definitely wasn't the fear or respect Ghi Bree was demanding, but his face finally became serious.

"Well, I guess we should get down to business, mister all-powerful. To begin with, why did you even take a hostage if you're that confident in your superiority?"

The way Ghi Bree was shaken by that simple but overwhelming logic was pretty much telling. But the reptile-like alien was still confident in his control of the situation.

"Heh, this is just a way to make things fun. Your friend here also happened to be the type of girl I want for my collection, despite her inferior beauty compared to Lala's. I'll take her with me alongside Lala once I'm done toying with you. But first, if you don't want me to start playing with her right now, you should forfeit your engagement with Princess Lala and start begging."

"Haaah…" A sigh escaped Shirou's lips before speaking again. "I can already imagine the answer but let me ask you. Why do you want to marry Lala?"

"Who said 'marry'?" The wicked grin returned to the alien's face in full form. "She's just a rare item I want to complete my collection. An unparalleled beauty, born from the ruler of the galaxy and a Charmian. A natural airhead that will become the best toy with little training. Aahhh~ I can already feel it. And now that I remember, aside from Haruna, there was also that busty blond girl with equal beauty. She was another friend of yours, right? If you still insist to resist, I will take her too."

The alien observed the boy's expression after his monologue. It was completely cold. So much that he was getting chills again- No, he must have frozen when the realization of his situation finally dawned on him. Yes, that must be it.

"What is it, Yuuki Shirou? Finally, too scared to talk? If so, you could prostate yourself for starters. Hurry! If you take too long, I'll command the tentacles to start stimulating your friend. Do you want to see how I melt her mind with fear and pleasure? Come on-"

The alien wasn't able to finish his taunting, his body freezing as an unknown feeling invaded him. He didn't know why, but the image of the teenager in front of him suddenly became horrifying.

"No, I just thought that at least someone should hear your last words. Even a piece of shit like you deserves as much."

Those words hit him like a splash of cold water that finally made him realize. Was this fear he was feeling? From an inferior, primitive species, nonetheless?

Bullshit! There's no way this human saw through his disguise just like that! This must be a last-ditch effort to save his own skin. A rare skill awakened in face of certain doom! Just another push should make him finally waver!

"F-FOOL! This isn't even my final form! Prepare yourself to feel true despair!"

Once again, his scales morphed to adopt a new appearance. His muscles, jaws, and claws grew, resulting in what looked more like a rather scaled abomination straight out of a nightmare. But to his horror, the boy in front of him didn't even bat an eye.

For the first time, Shirou got ready to attack, his right hand tensing like a gunslinger that was about to draw their revolver. No… Ghi Bree's eyes must be playing tricks on him, but he could swear he saw a horrific white claw instead of a human hand for a moment.

"I'm dead."

That was the inevitable conclusion the alien's brain came at. There was no sugarcoating it. What was standing in front of him was a true monster, not a pale imitation like him. For anyone sensitive to the supernatural, it was like the flame of a match standing in front of a miniature sun.

NOOOO! This can't be how it ends! He was… He was the great Ghi Bree!

"…" The reptile-like alien opened his mouth, but no voice came out. No matter how hard he tried, no wind came out of his throat.

His brain entered a shock. Something was really wrong here. He wasn't so panicked that he lost his voice, his vocal cords functioned just fine. Then… wait. When did Yuuki Shirou cross the distance between them? And that horrifying claw was…

"…?"

Realization hit him when his bulging eyes looked down. No wonder he couldn't draw air out of his lungs. There were no longer any lungs, neither heart, ribs, and spine for that matter. There was now a massive hole where those important organs should have been, and Shirou's bloody hand remained in its center.

That was it. Things happened so quickly that the alien's brain barely realized he was well and truly dead. His body collapsed like a house of cards the moment the boy retracted his amrs, but contrary to what one would have expected, the amount of blood staining the shed was minimal.

It was only logical. After all, all that monstrous aspect was just a farce created by his shapeshifting scales. His real appearance was revealed upon death as a small puny lizard that didn't even make it to his knees.

"Tsk." But Shirou hardly paid attention to the corpse, his golden eyes fixed on his hand still dripping with blood. "So much for getting my hopes up. I knew those suitors couldn't be good news if Lala rejected them so vehemently, but I've met dead apostles that weren't so much of a scum. Besides…"

He opened and closed his hand before making a grimace. As effective and efficient as it was, using that thing still gave him the creeps. The very claws that put an end to his life were now his to command… what kind of sick joke was that?

"Haaah… and now I have to clean up this mess…"

His eyes turned to the unconscious Haruna for a moment. He could have sworn he saw a vein popping on her temple when this Ghi Bree guy started trash-talking, but she must really be unconscious if she didn't even react when a murder took place right beside her.

"Trace, on." The weapon of his choice was immediately traced after he made sure of that. A flaming katana with an oni-like guard cut through the mechanical tentacles like nothing and freed the blue-haired girl.

After that, he gathered all the evidence in a pile and set it aflame. Camael, the angel that could burn the space itself make quick work of it, even sterilizing the room.

"Now then… I guess I should drop her at the infirmary, and I'll barely have 20 minutes to eat lunch… Haaah…"

After letting out a small sigh, he picked up Haruna in a princess carry and walked out of the shed in the direction of the school building.

"I see you're swift as always, Shirou-san." But a high-pitched voice greeted him the moment he set foot outside. The familiar, small girl with red eyes offered him a sweet smile that somehow felt reassuring and disturbing at the same time.

"You were still keeping an eye on that thing, Alice?"

"Just to make sure. This was more or less what I was expecting though. Would you like me to carry Sairenji-san in your instead?"

"Thanks, but no, this is my responsibility. I'll get going. I'm starting to starve."

"As you wish." Alice sent him off with a maid-like reverence. But not without some last words. "However, you shouldn't keep all the blood in your hands. Not making Luvia-sama stain her hands is one thing, but Tomoe and I are used to this kind of thing, you know?"

The only answer she received was a grumble, but it was more than enough for her. She already confirmed what she wanted to do.

Fortunately, he didn't encounter that many people on the way, so he didn't have to repeat the excuse of Haruna being low on sugar. Mikado-sense wasn't on the infirmary either.

When he arrived at his classroom, he walked up to his desk, ignoring all the stares he received while passing by the group of girls, and took out his bento like nothing happened.

"Oh, Shirou! Where did you go!" Lala asked innocently, her enthusiasm renewed now that she was no longer alone against the world.

The auburn-haired shrugged as his chopsticks dig into his bento ruthlessly. "I had to take out the… "disposable trash" before eating."

While the pink-haired alien could just shoot him a questioning look, the other girls caught the other meaning of his word game.

"Gross…"

"Don't you do that kind of thing at home before coming?"

"You have my condolences, Lala."

Really? Even in the case he did actually go to the bathroom to do that, was it really that weird? That was just petty. It was one of the essential needs of the human beings.

"Hey, don't leave me in the dark. What did Shirou do?"

The way that question made them feel totally awkward brightened a little his mood.

However, unbeknownst to him, an ear-to-ear smile was drawn on Haruna's face the moment he stepped out of the infirmary.

"Fufufu…" A giggle escaped her lips as she sat up on the bed, and her hands rested on her reddened cheeks. "Pretending to be unconscious surely was hard, but it was worth every second. Aaahh~ I knew it. Yuuki-kun and I are the same~ We were always meant to be together. And he didn't just come to rescue me, he also princess carried me."

Her heart was drumming in her chest as she replied to the events in her head over and over. Not only that, but she obtained a ton of invaluable information from that alien thing.

Lala's true identity, and more or less, the unfortunate situation Yuuki-kun was thrown in. Oh, and that Luvia and her two minions were also "special", but she couldn't care less about them.

"Don't worry, Yuuki-kun. I'll get read of those bitches in no time. My flames of passion will destroy them and melt your heart~"

---

When the bell announced the end of the day's lessons, Shirou shot a side glance at Lala. She seemed satisfied by her first day of classes if the smile on her face was of any indication.

Provided, she could only pay attention to what the teachers were saying, and fortunately, Luvia warned all the staff about her situation since none of them asked her to read a part of the textbook out loud.

On the other hand, she was certainly more skilled than him when it came to socializing. Not that the bar was high, but in just one day she was as popular as Haruna. It wasn't just her beauty. Her easy-going personality and the peculiarities that came from her alien ascendance quickly won everyone's hearts.

That caused the image of the two of them sticking together to be even weirder. It was like a sun eclipsing a well of darkness.

"Shirou! Are we going to start our activities as the fake janitors?" And despite that, Lala flocked to him instead of talking to her new friends.

But on this occasion, he had to be the bringer of bad news. "Sorry, but before that, you need to learn how to read and write Japanese properly or this will be pointless."

The sight of all her enthusiasm turning into a cute pout was becoming quite familiar to the auburn-haired boy, but at least she admitted his point was valid.

"I'll have to give my best then. It can't be that complicated."

In his opinion, the Asiatic languages were way more difficult to learn than the ones derived from Latin. Too many characters to learn, and the kanjis were a nightmare not even the native could memorize perfectly.

But given that she was a natural-born genius from a more advanced species, it might not be that complicated.

"Let's get going then. Walking home is also part of the school experience pack."

"Really!? Lead the way then!"

And with that said, the two teenagers headed into the city. Or so Lala thought as they walked silently, but to her surprise, they took an unexpected turn. Instead of taking the direct route, they were walking around the city center, alongside a small river that crossed it.

She would be lying if she said it, wasn't an interesting view. Due to her secluded life, she wasn't sure if there were rivers on her planet, or at least, this was the first time she saw one. But, she couldn't think of a reason for him to choose this route.

"Err… Shirou, why are we taking this path?"

"This road is pretty much deserted, and I enjoy the silence. But if you want to admire the urban landscape instead, we can use that route from now on."

He answered without looking at her, his eyes fixed on the horizon. And now that she realized, the sight of the twilight sky and the sun hiding behind the bast ocean was really endearing. A great, yet lonely sight. Just like the boy beside her.

Throughout all this day, she could tell something was bothering him, but in this little moment, he seemed to be at ease.

But she had the feeling he also wanted to show her this sight. With only the company of each other, watching a beautiful landscape like this… isn't this a thing real couples do? They only needed to hold hands to really look like one.

Her cheeks took a reddish tone as she changed her schoolbag to the other hand before bringing it close close to Shirou's. Whether he didn't notice it or just pretended not to, he didn't reject her attempt. But just when their fingers touched, she saw how Shirou's body got tense just like the night they met. And that could only mean-

"Trace, on!"

The two-word incantation was the only warning she had before a loud bag entered her ears. It happened so fast that it would have been all a blur for a regular person, but now that she was prepared, Lala was able to discern what happened more or less.

Something came crashing down on them like an arrow shot from the heavens, and Shirou intercepted it with a beautiful white sword. The result of the clash had been an actual explosion that repelled the unknown "projectile", while Shirou's blade fell apart. However, she had the feeling the sword self-destructed rather than it being broken by the clash itself.

Shirou threw away the fading hilt and his school bag before projecting the full set of black and white swords and stepping slightly in front of Lala. His golden eyes fixed on the crater created by the "projectile".

"Who the hell are you!?"

Much to her confusion, he treated it as a person, and that was confirmed were an androgynous figure stepped out of the dust cloud.

"Not bad for a primitive being I must admit. But resistance is futile."

Shirou found himself shifting from a serious look to a raised eyebrow for the second time in the day. Standing in front of him was a guy clad in a futuristic space suit combined with a jetpack. Though, despite the weird get-up, the man was clearly handsome on a supernatural level. Blonde hair and blue eyes with star-shaped pupils, with a charismatic smile that could charm any woman.

"I don't know who that guy is either, but judging by his suit, he must be a Kirarain." Peke commented, which helped Lala finally remember something.

"Oh, right! I once met one of those creepy guys who are always smiling and wearing rocket suits… What was his name… Kiraraian Rocket-kun?"

"You didn't come close in the least, Princess Lala!" The smile on the man's face wavered for a moment, but he managed to pull himself together. "My name is Pikari! And it is glaringly obvious that I am a way better match than that ugly monkey who still uses barbaric weapons!"

A vein popped on Shirou's temple, but strangely enough, it happened only when the Pikari fellow insulted his swords.

"And what do you want to do with Lala?"

"Isn't it obvious, primitive? I'll take her with me right away! We shall have the wedding ceremony right away when we reach my home planet!"

His words caused Lala of all people to grimace. Was it that none of those morons saw her as a person and more like just a beautiful trophy? But there was no time to think about it. The guy was already igniting his jetpack!

"Don't worry, Princess Lala! You will enjoy our love li-"

"OUT OF THE WAY! HE'S MINE!"

But just before Pikari could rush at them, a sneaker crashed against his already cracked glass helmet with so much force that it was completely destroyed, and the foot impacted his head. The handsome alien was flung away like a ragged doll, falling to the other side of the river completely unconscious and with severe bleeding on his temple.

The culprit was a girl of their age that landed gracefully in the same spot. Clad in a blue tracksuit with yellow lines, a matching scarf that danced with the wind, and a black baseball cap with a golden 'X' drawn on it. Her golden-like hair was tied in a short ponytail, and her azure eyes were glaring straight at Shirou.

Before anyone could say something, she struck a cool pose and pointed her finger at Shirou.

"I finally found you! Yuuki Shirou, the last evil Saber I need to defeat to become the Greatest Saber of them all!"

"Huh?" Lala could only blink a couple of times as she processed what just happened.

Her suitors fighting amongst themselves before coming to challenge Shirou wouldn't be that weird. But that girl… she was pretty sure she hasn't seen her in her life, and none of her suitors was a girl for that matter. So…

"Shirou, do you know her?"

Her words obtained no answer. To her immense surprise, the golden-eyed boy was completely in shock. It was as if he just saw a ghost.

"Nero? No, she looks a lot like her but there are differences."

His heart stopped beating in his chest for a moment, thinking that his sins were finally going to be judged in the weirdest way possible, but he managed to calm himself. Her eyes were of a different color, her theme color was blue instead of passion red, and… well… her chest wasn't that gifted.

The one heroic spirit he could match this girl with despite still having some differences was…

"Arturia?"

He blurted the name unwittingly, but the effect was instantaneous. The righteous expression on her face slowly turned into utter shock, all color bleeding from it.

"H-how did you- No! You're completely wrong! There's no Arturia here, and I don't know anyone who goes by that name! Not at all! I am the Mysterious Heroine X! The ultimate Saber that defeated all the other Sabers to save the universe from their overpopulation! And you are the only one left! Do you know how much distance I had to travel to come here and the ludicrous amount of space police checkpoints I had to dodge because this is a forbidden zone!"

The amount of frustration that he could feel from her words alone was astonishing. Fighting the weird version of the King of Knights of this universe was already complicated, but she's pretty much full of bloodlust. He needed a diversion.

"… What? If you're looking for a Saber servant, then you got the wrong person."

"Your lies won't work on me, fiend! You can't fool my anti-Saber radar!" Weirdly enough, the single hair that pierced through her cap twitched and pointed at him like an antenna. "Besides, you're wielding not one, but two swords! The evilest of evil sword techniques! Dual wielding!"

"I don't know about that evil technique nonsense, but I can guarantee you, I'm not a Saber. I may have the parameters and skills of one, but I'm actually a Pretender-class servant."

"That's bullshit! That class doesn't exist even among the extra classes! And even if it did, that just makes it even worse! I won't suffer the existence of a Fake Saber!"

Just as she roared her intentions, her immense magical energy spiked causing an electric-like aura, and she summoned her Holy Sword in all its glory. A migraine invaded Shirou's brain as his reality marble struggled to reproduce the divine construct. Its background may differ, but its appearance and soul were still the same.

That was without doubt Excalibur, the last phantasm and pinnacle of Holy Swords.

Shirou's grip on Kanshou and Bakuya tightened as he swallowed loudly. She was raring to go, and unlike her counterpart, she didn't seem the type to pull back her punches for the sake of the city.

"Lala, get out of here, now!"

"But-"

"Prepare to die!"

The distance was closed before Lala could even utter the first word, and whatever she said next was overshadowed by the metallic clash when the Holy Sword met the twin swords. After that instant, Shirou had been flung away several meters in the same way Pikari was, and the mysterious heroine was hot on his heels.

"Kuh!" The golden-eyed boy grunted as his body crashed into the dry grass beside the river, his school uniform switched in time to his combat outfit so it didn't get ruined.

She was fast, way faster than her counterpart. She struck before he could draw his strength as a servant. But in comparison, the attack itself was weaker. She somehow traded power for speed?

He put his analysis aside as he rolled to land back on his feet, his red cloak willowing in the air, and swung his married blades to fend off the next attack. The golden sword was redirected to the side in a rain of sparks, giving him a brief moment of respite, but to his surprise-

"…!"

To his surprise, she let go of her left hand from Excalibur's hilt and unleashed a series of fast slashes at blinding speeds. Shirou had to infuse his arms with a great deal of magical energy and release consecutive mana bursts of his own to deflect all the attacks without having them turned into tofu.

Something was off here. Her attacks lacked any elegance, and they barely resembled any Western style of swordsmanship. In a way, it resembled Okita Souji's style, but it wasn't quite like that either.

If he had to put it into words, her style was just like his. An accumulation of movements and techniques she either developed on her own or took from her enemies, put together to destroy the enemy in the quickest and most efficient way.

However, even if they were the same on paper, anyone, even people who never picked up a sword, could tell their styles looked like day and night. While Shirou's movements flowed into each other perfectly like a calm stream of water, X's movements were… pure chaos.

Her movements were completely random. Shirou could tell X wasn't even thinking her next move, how he would counter it, and how to act around that. Instead, she let her god-like instincts lead her movements. And that combined with mana bursts powered by a dragon core carved a blazing path to victory in all her battles.

But not against the red knight in front of her. If anything, fighting against the random and vicious attack pattern of a monster was his specialty, even if he became the monster in the end.

Kanshou and Bakuya weaved across the golden, raging storm that was X's attacks. He lost count of how many clashes they had to endure, but he finally found an opening among her barbaric attacks.

A steel-tipped boot sailed smoothly in the gap he managed to cause and hit the back of her leg with a loud thud.

"Aaagh! That's cheating!" A pained cry left her lips as her balance was completely ruined. Of all the things, it seemed she didn't face such tactics in her life, much like the Arturia he was familiar with.

But he ignored the discomfort that came seeing that face pained and thrust the twin swords towards her spirit core. If she came here to kill him, then she should have been prepared to die-

"NOT YET!" Before the cold still could pierce her heart, she points her Holy Sword at him and poured magical energy into it. But it was no use, even if it was a quick release rather than the full anti-fortress beam, it will still take her too long-

"What the-"

To his surprise, a golden laser beam was fired almost instantaneously. The red knight, despite being caught off guard, tilted his body as he could to avoid it, but the attack still hit. Instead of punching a hole through his liber, it burned away a chunk of his side.

The red knight retreated immediately; his attack having ended up in failure. The blades from his inner world immediately sprung to sew the wound, Camael among them providing the flames that helped heal the wound faster. Unfortunately, though, it wasn't as effective as it was for his counterpart, so it will take some time.

"Hehehe! You aren't half bad, but you're a long way off beating my Saber Ninja Arts! This is just a warmup!"

X quickly rolled back to her feet before swinging her Holy Sword in a cross pattern to fire a big cross-shaped blast of energy in his direction, barely giving the red knight any time to regroup.

"Trace overedge!" With no chance to dodge, Shirou filled his twin swords to brim with magical energy and reinforced them before swinging them against the blast with all his might. The now overedged Kanshou and Bakuya self-destructed when he drew all their power in that single swing, managing to bisect the blast with its two halves exploding in the river behind him.

The red knight ignored the water pouring on him, as the heat produced from his magic circuits giving shape to Kanshou and Bakuya's blueprint once again evaporated it. There was no time to catch his breath. His arms moved with mechanical practice to throw the twin blades to the sides, so they curved towards X's neck.

"Spirit and technique, flawless and firm."

He was ending the fight right here and now. If things escalated more, the river wouldn't be the only thing destroyed by her beams.

"An Archer move won't help you!" X shouted confidently as she deflected the married blades and rushed at him.

"Our strength rips the mountains!"

And in turn, the red knight rushed at her with a second pair of Kanshou and Bakuya in hand. She was where he wanted. The black sword was swung at her chest at the same time its white counterpart from the first pair attacked from behind. But…

"Huh!" Not only did both swords go right through her like nothing when she didn't try to defend herself for some reason, but he didn't get the feeling that he cut through something physical. "An afterimage!?"

"Too slow! I have the power of invincibility frames on my side!" Her cocky voice came from behind him, giving him enough time to duck below her swing.

She tried to finish him with a downward lash, but the Kanshou from the first pair came to his help, passing above him and clashing against her blade. Before she could throw another attack, he stood up while throwing already a roundhouse kick at where he calculated was her face.

But much to his dismay, he once again hit an afterimage. This was her real speed it seemed, capable of leaving afterimages even for his hawk-like eyes.

The attacks came from all directions at overwhelming speeds. If her previous attacks were a raging storm, this was definitely a hurricane. Even after forcing his eyes, he could only reduce the absurd number of afterimages and had to rely on all his other senses. Fortunately, she wasn't hiding her hostility at all, so he could vaguely tell her position.

The red knight was completely on the defensive side, no counterattack was allowed to him. His only reliable path to victory was stalling until his Beast Authority powered him enough to overwhelm her. But as degraded as it was, that would take some time, and staying alive more than a minute in face of such attacks was impossible.

Therefore, he would have to improvise just like always.

"Our swords split the water."

Several pairs of Kanshou and Bakuya were traced and fired in the general direction like flying circular saws. A desperate movement from X's perspective. If he couldn't see her, then he might as well just use an attack that covers a big area.

"You're gonna need more than just some flying swords to hit me- huh!?"

Her taunt came to a halt when she realized that, just like the previous attack, the black and white blades started to fly around attracted to each other, creating some kind of sword cage.

With her movements slowly being restricted and the occasional blade she had to bat away, the red knight was beginning to calculate her position more accurately, allowing him to throw more twin blades in her direction and causing the "cage" to shrink.

"Our names reach the imperial villa."

"Tsk. Sly faker…" X clicked her tongue when she realized the tables were quickly turned against her. With her patience has reached its limits, she poured a massive amount of magical energy into her Holy Sword and raised it as if it were a baseball bat.

"A Saber using Archer tactics is the height of blasphemy! If you really insist, then I'll blow you away alongside these annoying, inferior blades! SABER HOMERUN!"

With her swing, everything in the river basin was completely razed. All of Shirou's projections were atomized, and the modest amount of water the river carried was vaporized. With no sight of the red knight in the vicinity, she assumed he was also reduced to cinders too… but.

"The two of us cannot hold the heavens together!"

Her azure eyes widened when she sensed a great amount of magical energy just above her. The red knight was right there, holding a massive black bow with some kind of twisted arrow nocked against the string.

X's face was filled with pure horror, not because of the amount of power she felt from the broken phantasm, nor the really evil aura it gave off, but the bow itself.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! A SABER USING A BOW!"

"Retriever!"

Just as the red knight released the cursed sword's true name and let loose the bowstring, the tracksuit-clad heroine fired a beam from her sword in a desperate attempt to use the recoil to get away. However, even if she managed to avoid getting hit directly, she was still caught in the explosion.

This time, it was her turn to fly like a ragged doll across the battlefield, landing harshly on the burnt ground.

"Ouch… That hurts…" She stood up as quickly as she could despite her visibly pained body. Her clothes were mostly in rags, and she had some bad-looking bruises and burns, but nothing a servant couldn't heal with time.

Her eyes glared daggers in the direction of the red knight who made no move to attack. "Hey, that almost killed me! You can't just kill the protagonist! Not before I had my fated duel against my rival!"

A frown appeared on Shirou's face in response. "I don't know what the hell is all this crap about Sabers and protagonists you're talking about but consider that your warning. If you turn around and leave this planet, then no one will have to die here."

"Heh, on the contrary." A confident smile was drawn on her face as she stood proud. "This is the moment when the opening starts to play and the protagonist gets a power-up! You leave me no choice but to use my ultimate move!"

Just as she said that another Holy Sword was summoned in her other hand, leaving the red knight completely astonished. It looked just like its corrupted version, Excalibur Morgan, and from what little he could grasp from them, they were part of the same noble phantasm, Secret-Calibur.

"Light and darkness intertwine to reveal all Sabers!" She started the chant to activate said noble phantasm, causing her Holy Swords to emanate an absurd amount of power.

"Shit! I'll have to use that then…" There was no time to think. Using that wicked sword to destroy another life was the last thing he wanted in this second life, but it was she or the entire city.

"I am the bone of my-"

BROOOOAAAAAARGGG!

Just when his magical energy was giving physical shape to his true noble phantasm, a beast-like roar interrupted them.

The red knight immediately scanned his surroundings in search of the beast that somehow evaded his senses… only to find nothing. Or so he thought until he saw X's face.

"Ah…" Her face was taking a whole new level of red from sheer embarrassment as she looked at her stomach. Shirou could even see it vibrating through her tattered tracksuit as it produced another horrendous sound.

Her azure eyes met golden eyes, which were now set in the mother of all blank stares. The light wrapped around her blades quickly faded away, and Shirou's magical energy dispersed due to his concentration going out the window.

"What… was that?" He dared to ask, his brain still processing the anticlimactic end of their battle.

"I haven't eaten anything for days, okay! I was trying to buy some on this planet, but they won't accept QP as payment for some reason! And then I sensed you and could help but come and challenge you- ugh…"

Her legs almost gave out for a moment. It really looked like she had burned through all her energy.

"Pretend this never happened! I'll come for our real battle after eating something! Heroine X's blasting off again!"

With that said, she shamelessly ran away, leaving Shirou alone in the wasteland.

"This must be some kind of fever dream… Tell me this is just a hallucination I'm having after the other me beat me…"

"Shirou!" Lala's worried voice put an end to his divagations in an attempt to protect his mental health. "Are you okay!? Are you hurt!?"

His hand moved to touch the wound on his side unconsciously, but fortunately, it was already healed. The only thing that remained was a small phantom pain, so appeasing her concerns would be easier.

"I'm fine physically, yes. Mentally though, I feel like I've been on an LSD trip…"

"What's LSD? A codename for a weapon?"

"Ah…" He cursed mentally. Most lighthearted jokes to ease the tension would most likely go over her head, but he remembered that too late. "I think you're better off without knowing that. At any rate. Do you know if my schoolbag survived?"

Judging by the way her eyebrows furrowed for a moment, she didn't quite buy his quick change of subject, but she still handed him said schoolbag with a smile.

"I managed to pick it up before you two started blasting. By the way, was X-chan one of your acquaintances?"

"No, this is the first time I've ever met her. I just know… people who look very similar."

"People? In plural?"

"Yes, don't ask further if you want to keep your mental health…" With a tired sigh, his combat outfit was replaced by his school uniform. "Let's get going before someone arrives… right, we still need to deal with rocket guy over there."

He started to walk towards where Pikari lay as he spoke without missing a beat. Much to his surprise, he found a faint pulse when he pressed his fingers against his neck.

"Wow, he's still alive. I was pretty sure that kick must have demolished his neck, but I guess he's sturdy despite his looks… what should we do with him?"

"I have an idea, Shirou!"

The golden-eyed boy threw Lala a side glance and saw her tapping the buttons of her D-Dial skillfully. After some seconds, the screen emitted a blinding light before a real rocket appeared beside her.

"This is AA Rocket-kun! Let's just send him back to his planet before he wakes up."

She really wanted to get rid of the handsome guy, and he couldn't blame her. In fact, he was sharing her mischievous smile. At least he wouldn't have to burn the second corpse of the day.

"By my guest."

Lala all but kicked Pikari inside the rocket after programming to route towards his home planet and ignited it. The two teenagers didn't stay to watch it part as they were already making a run for it toward the city.

Shirou could tell someone started observing them at some point, but he didn't find them. It was either Luvia, Tomoe, or Alice most likely if the panic wasn't already spreading.

---

"Haaah…" Several hours later, Shirou slumped on his bed without any energy left.

His fight against that Heroine X girl was a walk in the park compared to trying to teach Lala Japanese. That "universal translator" thing might have been convenient if you didn't want to stay on a planet, but it was a horrible hindrance to learning other languages, and she couldn't just turn it off since it was inside her body. That was the only reason she didn't lose it when she used her warping device.

Therefore, his only way of teaching her the phonetical sounds of every character was basically having her read his lips. Something that she barely got the hang of it after… pretty much all the four hours they spent with dinner in between.

That was going to be an altogether different hell he would walk into. And there was also tomorrow's "date"…

"I should get some sleep… but I'm not looking forward to that…"

As he lazily sat up to get inside the blankets, he tried to pull out from his crumbling mind the parts of the plan he already thought of.

Well, calling it a plan would be generous. He was in no way trying to hit on Lala, so he only planned a simple tour to show her around and have her buy some clothes in case Peke wasn't available. Maybe a little bonus if they weren't interrupted by another alien or mentally ill servant.

But that brought another headache… The part where he has to accompany her to women's clothing and lingerie stores.

As a boy who only has seen the panties of his sister while doing laundry before she started to care about those things, that should be the part when he leaves her on her own. But that in itself was an accident waiting to happen.

"I need backup…"

And by "backup" he meant another girl who could teach her those things. But that was another problem. The only girls he was acquainted with… well, no chance in hell he was asking another favor of Luvia and her associates… and the other would be Mikan.

Maybe that would actually help make things less awkward. It would be just like the old times…

"Now that I think about it, when was the last time I went somewhere in town with Mikan? It feels like it was ages ago… And how do I even ask her to come to a lingerie shop of all things?" Shirou's face quickly turned from tired to depressing. "No good either. I'm going in circles, damn it…"

"Shirou-dono, do you have a mom- AAAHHHH!"

Zastin, who suddenly peeked his head from the other side of the window, let out a pained cry when the tip of a drill-like sword stopped inches away from his face. Shirou at the other side of the Fake Spiral Sword tightened his grip on the handle, having barely stopped himself from skewering the poor alien.

"Don't scare me like that, Zastin. I can't guarantee I won't attack back if someone surprises me with all those weirdos around."

"I… can understand, yes. A-at any rate. I am aware of the rowdy day you had, Shirou-dono, but I need to confirm something."

"Ask then."

The man made himself at home, even if Shirou's eyebrow trembled when those steel boots stepped on his carpet again.

"We managed to identify two of the three persons that arrived on this planet, but the third one remains a mystery. Who was it that left such destruction? Was it some hired assassin as we suspect?"

"No, that… didn't have anything to do with our… business. It was a servant with some screws loose claiming that she had to eradicate all Sabers to save the universe. In the remote case she attacks again, I'll deal with her."

"I see…" He didn't see anything, but that was to be expected. "As for the other two, we confirmed that the rocket carrying the third heir of the Kiraian royal dynasty has exited the Solar System safely… but what did you do with the current ruler of Balke?"

"You mean the reptile thing? I burned the corpse, so you don't have to worry."

"…" Shirou's words were followed by a really awkward silence.

Zastin's face started to gradually pale as he observed the face of the boy in front of him. Shirou was completely serious about it, but the way he said was as if he were just listing what he bought from the mall.

Putting aside the creepiness, that was an attitude towards an enemy that Sir Gid would definitely approve of, but… just that afternoon she received a message from one of the guy's wives apologizing for the trouble he might cause and saying they would come to pick him up ASAP.

"What do I tell his family now?" That last part was said out loud before he could realize it, but to his surprise, those uncaring golden eyes widened for a moment.

It lasted but a fleeting moment though. "Hmph. If he was ready to kill me and torture Lala, then he should have been ready to die. Not that they will ever find a trace of his whereabouts though…"

"I'll just say he fell in combat, but please, try to pull your punches next time if the situation allows it. Having heirs and rulers of allied planets disappear mysteriously won't contribute to a peaceful atmosphere in the galaxy."

"Don't you think I'm trying, damn it!"

Shirou managed to hold that shout at the last second. He didn't regret it in the least even after hearing there was someone who actually cared for that bastard, but he was still failing miserably at being better. If it wasn't for Lala and X, he would have most likely done the same to that rocket guy.

"I'll keep trying. But if they won't understand with words…" The way his golden eyes pointed at Caladbolg still in his hand was already telling.

"I understand, Shirou-dono. Maybe leaving voids that can be filled with better people is good but gaining so many enemies before you even ascend to the throne isn't… recommendable."

Another snort he had to hold. As if someone who was only good at destroying things could become king of anything. Once Lala finally gets her fill of normal life and gets bored, or better yet, that Gid guy gets in range, and he can kick him back to his planet with some broken bones…

Then… what? Return to a dull life?

"I shall be going then, Shirou-dono. Have a good night." Seeing the conflict reflected in his expression, Zastin decided to take his leave.

The auburn-haired boy remained silent for some minutes before he shook his head. He would burn that bridge when he comes to, but for now, he should think about the more pressing matters.

"Then again… who should I ask?"

Another sigh left his lips as he debated what option would be less of a headache. His hands moved on autopilot and took his phone, just to realize that he didn't have the contacts of any of the three servants…

"Mikan then… oh?" Just when he was resigning himself to ask his little sister to be the third wheel, he remembered something.

The last number in his call history… it was Sairenji's. She was somewhat of a stalker, but given her sweet personality towards others aside from him, she might be the person for the job. Besides, she wanted to go out with him, and he owed her for getting involved in his mess.

"Let's hope she's still awake…"

---

And that's a wrap. Yeah, you can expect the next chapter to be a roller coaster with no brakes. You can already start getting the idea that Morio town will be just your regular city compared to this one.

The next chapter will also go deeper into this Sairenji's deal, which I doubt someone will see it coming, for real. I mean, yeah, I left some evident clues, but the explanation won't be as simple as you might think. And she won't be the only of her kind.

As for the other characters that barely had any resemblance to the original ones, well, I think it was pretty obvious that Luvia/Astraea would replace Tenjoin Saki. This is my first time writing her character, so I hope I'm doing her justice, no pun intended. As for her friends, well, to be honest, I only chose Tomoe because her personality was really similar to Kujo Rin, and well, she was always on the villain side in my other stories. As for Alice, well, that is a surprise I'll keep for the moment. That is a fake name. Yes, she is from the Nasuverse, even if she has barely been mentioned in some works. And yes, she's only a servant because that's the thing with the Servant Universe, but she originally was something entirely else. Given this Shirou's character theme, you will immediately understand why she had to be in this story.

Also, I know that the hyped fight between Shirou and X was cut abruptly, but you can't expect a full serious fight with Mysterious Heroine X of all people. Of course, things will be settled in the next chapter. I don't plan on extending X's conflict, even if she won't be tamed just like that.

Finally, as always, I'd like to hear your thoughts about this chapter, and I hope I entertained you. To continue the cycle, the next update will be "Absolute demonic front of blades", but before that, I'll work on the rework of the second chapter of "Date a Density". That's something I've been postponing, and it needs to be done to keep the coherence in the first chapters.

With this, I say goodbye for now. Hasta la vista!