AN: I cannot emphasise enough that this is a cursed crackfic.

Blake gave the thing masquerading as an apple a dubious look. They'd found a tree full of them, all ripe. They smelled delicious, but wrong. Apples had no business smelling like strawberries.

Blake shook her head. "I'm not eating any of those."

"Why not? They smell great to me." Yang held up the apple she'd plucked from the tree to her own nose and sniffed.

Blake had to tear away her eyes from Yang's heavily lidded eyes. She couldn't help but wonder if Yang would look the same in bed with—

'Stop it Belladonna! This isn't the time or the place. You don't even know if she feels the same.'

"They look like apples but don't smell like them. I don't like that."

Yang shrugged. "We have to eat something, keep our strength up in case that Jabberwalker comes back. And we might need to fight to get my arm back. There's plenty of these not-apples on this tree. Or do you think something smells off? I guess your sense of smell might be stronger than mine." She frowned at the fruit in her hand.

"Little? Are these safe to eat?" Ruby pointed at the dull golden apple.

Little shifted on Ruby's shoulder. "Sorry, I've never been here before. I don't know these plants or fruit."

"Maybe just a tiny nibble first, and wait a while. I think that's what they said during survival lessons. It's been a while, and I lost my notes long ago." Weiss sighed. "I wish I'd had time to retrieve them from Beacon."

"Sounds about right to me. And Dad got our stuff from Beacon. Yours and Blake's too. It's all on Patch. If we ever get back to Remnant you can reclaim it one day." Yang rubbed the apple against her jacket until it shone.

Blake blinked. "My books?" She thought they'd been destroyed by Grimm after Beacon fell. It's what the creatures did with anything made by people.

Yang nodded. "I read a few during my recovery." She glanced at her missing arm. "I figured you wouldn't mind."

Weiss stifled a laugh. "You read? I don't think I saw you pick up a book at Beacon out of your own free will."

Yang attempted to cross her arms. It didn't work so well with her prosthetic stolen. "Hey, I read some on my scroll. I wasn't always playing games on it."

Ruby poked Weiss. "Yeah, Yang reads. She used to read to me when we were kids. Who do you think taught me how to read?"

There was an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry," Weiss said in a small voice. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Yang grunted and waved her hand, still holding her apple. "It's fine. It's not like you think I can't read."

"Of course I know you can! Your marks at Beacon were outstanding, all things considered."

Blake frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Come on, Blake, you know Yang barely studied. Do you have any idea how maddening it was to work as hard and long as I did, and then Yang did everything at the last minute yet did almost as well?"

Yang winked at Weiss. "It paid off. And now we're huntresses and don't have to worry about homework ever again."

Weiss waved a finger under Yang's nose. "I have one word for you, Xiao Long: paperwork. Every professor warned us that there would be paperwork to fill in if we made it as huntresses, for every mission. We won't always have superiors to do it like Ace Ops did."

Yang flinched. "Are we sure we really want to find the way back to Remnant?"

"What's paperwork?" Little asked.

"Boring stuff," Ruby muttered. "Don't worry about it. There probably isn't any here."

Blake kept her eyes on Yang. "We have to. People need us," she reminded her.

"Kidding, I know we've got to get home."

Blake lightly punched Yang's bicep. Yang laughed and had to lunge down to catch her apple when she dropped it.

"Can I try some of that?" Little asked, pointing at the fruit in Yang's hand.

"When we know it's safe. Only one of us should try it at first, just in case." With that, Yang took a bite before Blake could stop her.

"Yang!"

"What?" Yang asked, voice garbled a bit by the fruit, although not by much. It had at least been a small bite. Just a nibble.

Weiss tutted. "We hadn't agreed who would try it."

"Maybe I should have. I don't have a weapon. I'm…" Ruby grimaced.

"Too late. Besides, you all watched me pick it. If you didn't want me to eat it, you should have taken it." Yang waggled the bitten apple around.

Blake snatched it from her hand. "I'll have that. I'm not going to eat it, this is for safe keeping." The fruit was firm under her fingers, and a bit of juice leaked from where Yang had bitten into it. Blake shifted her grip to avoid getting it on her hand.

"I was going to wait until I knew it was fine!" Yang protested. "How long should I wait? An hour? Maybe we should pick some more and carry them with us. Then we can keep going."

Blake glanced at Ruby, waiting for her decision as team leader.

Ruby shrugged, Little bobbing with the motion.

"Let's do it. We can always ditch them if they're no good," Weiss said.

They set to work, using Ruby's cloak cradled in her arms as a makeshift basket. Blake tossed aside the one Yang had nibbled, no sense keeping it when they had no idea how well it would keep.

"They smell good," Ruby murmured. "Just like strawberries."

"Apples shouldn't smell like that," Blake grumbled. She plucked a couple more from the tree and dropped them into the cloak.

Yang stood on tiptoe and went for the bigger apples higher up. She couldn't pick them as fast with only one hand, but she could reach higher than anyone else. Weiss could in theory reach higher using a Summon yet didn't seem inclined to waste Aura on something like this.

Blake stepped closer to Yang. "How about we team up?"

"Hmm?" Yang raised an eyebrow. "I don't think Bumblebee will get us anything but bruised apples."

"Not what I had in mind." Blake stood behind Yang, put her hands on her shoulders and launched herself up, swinging her legs over Yang's shoulders until she sat on them.

"Blake! Ow, watch it, my hair…"

Blake muttered an apology and shifted her legs one at a time to free Yang's hair, gently slipping it to rest on her thighs. She reached for the biggest apples she could.

Yang staggered back. Blake almost fell, dropping the apples as her arms stretched out for balance.

POOF.

Dense smoke obscured Yang. Blake felt her shudder under her legs. A breeze picked up, rustling the leaves and shaking the fruit, sweeping the smoke away.

Blake stared.

Ruby dropped her cloak, apples rolling everywhere.

Weiss gasped.

Little squeaked.

Yang coughed. "What… What was that?"

"Yang," Blake croaked. "Look at yourself."

"I don't have a mirror!"

"Look back."

"What? But why—" Yang turned her head, a big lilac eye coming fully into view. It widened, pupil dilating. "AH!" She stamped around in backwards circles, eye fixed on her backside, shredded clothing falling off her. "What the fuck?!"

What indeed. Blake still sat on Yang, just as high up. But there was a lot more Yang behind her, and ears poking out of Yang's hair in front of her. Horse ears, pinned back. It was certainly a horse under Blake now, with short blonde fuzz on her body matching her mane.

Blake had wanted to ride Yang for longer than she cared to admit. This wasn't what she'd had in mind.

Yang stumbled, possibly tripping over her own legs. She had four of them now, and that had to complicate things. Or was it three, and that was why she'd almost fallen? Had her loss of limb carried over to this transformation? If so, Blake's weight couldn't be helping. She used a shadow clone to get off Yang and a safe distance away, and let the clone dissipate.

Blake winced. Yang's right foreleg ended above the equivalent of an elbow, the metal cap to the stump digging in to the flesh. That had to be painful.

Yang sat down with a bump, tail swishing. She tossed her head, a whimper escaping between clenched teeth. She pawed at the ground with her sole front hoof. "Get it off me!"

Blake darted forward, fingers sliding over the metal prosthetic interface as she tried to figure out how to remove it.

Yang shook her head rapidly, as if shaking off a fly. "Not comfy either, but I meant Ember Celica! It feels like it's going to cut off my hand—" She groaned. "My hoof."

Ruby and Weiss dashed over, working together to release Yang's shotgun gauntlet. Blake concentrated on the metal cap, she knew Ruby was more familiar with Ember Celica after all the times she'd pestered Yang into letting her tinker with it.

Metal removed from her flesh, Yang sighed with apparent relief. The eye Blake could see slid shut, and Yang's Aura glowed gold as she focused on healing herself.

Ruby sniffled. She wiped at her eyes. A wet laugh escaped her. "I always wanted a pony. Remember the ponytails and piggyback rides?" She dissolved into sobs, dropping her head into her hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't want this!"

Yang pawed at Ruby with her hoof before resorting to nuzzling her head against her little sister. "It's not your fault. It had to be that apple, and I'm the one who decided to eat it."

"Maybe eating some more will turn you back?" Weiss suggested. She picked up one of the fallen apples. She hesitated, tossed it away, and picked another from the tree. "You're still Yang on the inside. I'm not giving you something from the ground." She held it out to Yang, fingers carefully held out of the way. Clearly Weiss had some experience with horses. She'd probably had her own pony, if not an entire stable of thoroughbreds.

Yang eyed the apple. "Not as if I can get more horsey." She clumsily plucked it from Weiss's hand, bits flying out as she chewed.

Nothing happened after Yang swallowed, but then it had taken a while after the first nibble.

They waited, tense minutes ticking by.

"Even if it doesn't work, I'm glad I got to have more apple. They taste as good as they smell." Yang eyed the tree, still laden with the fruit. They'd barely made a dent in them with their fruit picking. She sighed. "I'd still rather have never tried them and be myself, not… this." She tossed her head, mane swishing through the air.

Ruby threw her arms around Yang's neck, burying her face against her mane. "We'll figure something out. We'll fix this."

"Fix?" Little asked. "What's wrong with being a horse?"

"Nothing if you started out as a horse, or want to be one. I'm supposed to be human. I don't want to be like this."

Little hummed. "All right. That's fair enough."

"Did you want to be a horse?" Blake picked up an apple, ready to offer it to the mouse.

"Hm. Maybe for just a day. I like being myself, even if I don't know what I am yet."

"Do you think that fruit's transformation effect is just temporary?" Weiss stroked her chin.

Little blinked. "I don't know what all those words mean."

"Oh, sorry. I meant do you know if what it did to Yang won't last for long?"

Little shook their head. "It might—"

Smoke enveloped Yang again. More of it, this time, but then there was more of Yang. It soon cleared.

Blake's jaw dropped.

Yang stared at Yang. "The—"

"—fuck?!" they chorused.

"I may have miscalculated," Weiss said faintly.

Blake couldn't tear her eyes away from Yang. Both Yangs. Her mouth was dry at the thought of what might happen if they managed to get them human again. The only thing better than Yang was more Yang. Then Blake registered the lingering few scraps of cloth on the original Yang, and the completely bare duplicate.

She tried not to think about it. She failed: if they got Yang back to her rightful human self, she'd surely be naked. Both Yangs, if the second remained. Black spots overtook Blake's unfocused sight before she remembered that she needed to breathe.

Blake closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She very carefully shied away from thinking about forbidden thoughts, and resorted to mentally locking away her daydreams about unclothed Yang and threw away the key. She'd pick the lock later, when there was no one to see her blush.

Yang cocked her head, ears twitching. "Does my head really look like that? I'm a horse! Head and all! How can I still talk?"

"Is that so strange?" Little asked.

Both Yangs looked sheepishly at the mouse. "Oh, sorry. Um, yes, to us. Animals can't talk where we come from."

"Oh. Are you sure you really want to get back there?" Little scratched their head, bemused.

"It's more to do with duty than want," Ruby explained. "People need us."

"They do," said Yang. The original one, going by the scraps of clothing where Blake had been sitting on her. She exchanged a look with her duplicate, eye darting back and forth between her other self and… apples?

Other Yang nodded. "The more the merrier."

"Wait, what?" Ruby murmured.

The Yangs snatched up another apple each.

"Yang, no!" Ruby lunged for her sister. Sisters.

Blake held Ruby back. "No, no, let them. I—We could use more Yangs."

Weiss nodded. "If we rig up some makeshift peglegs, we could get across this strange land faster. If Yang was all right with being a steed, of course."

Yang smacked her lips. "Mmm, I'll do it. But that's not what I had in mind. Just imagine an army of me!"

Ruby wriggled free of Blake and threw her arms up. "Yang, you're a horse! You can't fight like this!"

"Wanna bet?" Yang kicked the tree. Apples fell down, ripe for the taking, and for the making of more Yangs. "Besides, like you said we'll find a way to turn me back. Lots of me."

Ruby buried her hands in her own hair, pulling at it. "Yang, you won't have any clothes! There's only one half of Ember Celica! And one prosthetic if we get it back!"

"Eh, details."

The locked vault of Blake's daydreams was smashed open by the stampeding hooves of a Yang unconcerned by nudity. Blake concentrated on breathing steadily, her cheeks burning.

Weiss patted Ruby's shoulder, her eyes on Yang. "And how do we turn you back?"

Blake hadn't known a horse could shrug. Yang managed it somehow. "More details. We'll figure it out."

AN:

Normally I'd say thanks for reading, but in this case I feel like I should offer my sympathies. Comments appreciated.

For now this is a oneshot. So how does Yang(s) get restored to human form? I have a few ideas, but I'm not entirely sure I want to write them out as I do have other WIPs to write. Without Yorse. The Curious Cat might know a remedy like with the Growgurt Parfait. As for where Yang(s) get clothes, I figure Jaune has some changes of clothing.

I blame strawberry-seal77 for the cute Yorse sketches over on Tumblr, and pretty much activating a trap card on me by encouraging me to write this.