Downton 1919
"I'll take that" Sybil, clad in her nursing uniform, held out her hands to take the tea tray from O'Brien.
"No need" the lady's maid curtly replied. "I can manage."
But Sybil stood blocking O'Brien's way down the corridor. "I know you can." Sybil's smile was wasted on the lady's maid who looked as if she'd rather dump the tray on the floor than hand it over to her ladyship's youngest daughter. Hoping to placate the prickly O'Brien Sybil softened her voice. "You've been so good to Mama this week and your help has certainly aided Mama in her recovery but you need to take care of yourself too. I'll sit with Mama for the rest of the morning so you can get a bit of a rest."
"But-"
Sybil slightly shook her head. "Mama needs you to stay strong O'Brien. Go rest."
Knowing she was defeated O'Brien handed over the tray. Although she turned to walk down the corridor she stopped after three or four steps and turning around thought silly cow as she watched Sybil walk towards her mother's bedroom. Leaving all this to live in some Dublin slum with that arrogant chauffeur. She'll soon be back begging her parents' forgiveness.
With the heavy drapes pulled tightly closed shutting out any trace of sunlight her mother's bedroom was dark and stale. "I think some sunshine might make you feel better" Sybil cheerily said as she breezed into the room. After setting the tray on the vanity table she set about opening the drapery and filling the room with sunshine. "There isn't that better Mama?" She walked closer to the bed. "What if I help you sit in the chair and then we can enjoy a cup of tea?"
As she helped her mother get from the bed to the arm chair Sybil was struck by just how frail her mother seemed. "Doesn't it seem good to finally get out of that bed?"
For the first time in over a week Sybil saw her mother smile. "Yes Nurse Crawley." Upon hearing that Sybil's face beamed in delight for she couldn't recall her mother ever calling her Nurse Crawley.
Cora watched as Sybil fixed each of them a cup of tea. Where do the years go. How can my baby be ready for marriage? After handing a cup to her mother, Sybil took hers and sat down in the window seat.
"You always loved that seat" Cora said. "I remember you sitting there so many times as a little girl chattering away. You, much more so than your sisters, would come in here and we'd talk and laugh. But it's been ages since-" Cora sighed as she looked away. When she spoke again her voice was very soft almost as if she were talking to herself. "Maybe if you had still come in here this thing with Branson wouldn't have seemed to come out of the blue."
"Oh Mama!" Sounding rather irritated Sybil set her tea cup on the window seat and stood up. "This thing with Branson as you call it isn't a whim or …" Sybil shook her head as she turned to look out the window where against the deep blue sky the bare trees were just beginning to show the slightest signs that spring was not far away.
Then softening her voice Sybil said "We've been friends for a long time.
1914
"Will you have your own way with the frock?"
From the back seat a rather stunned Sybil leaned forward as she eyed the chauffeur for it just wasn't done that a chauffeur would speak first and especially to ask such personal questions. Although he glanced at her in the rear view mirror Branson apparently didn't sense any impropriety for he continued talking. "I couldn't help overhearing you talking with your mother and sister yesterday."
"Are you interested in women's fashion Branson?"
Chuckling as he shook his head he replied "not really but I am curious as to what frock would be considered new and exciting."
"Are you mocking me?"
The smile quickly left his face and he replied "No! Of course not my lady." He could feel his face becoming red. "I didn't mean … I would never …" he managed to stammer.
Sybil sat back into her seat and turned her face towards the window.
A clearly chastened Branson remained quiet for a minute or two before once again speaking although he kept his eyes on the road ahead. "It sounded like you're interested in women's rights and I have a few pamphlets I thought you might be interested in." His left hand holding the pamphlets reached back towards her.
Sybil warily took the offered pamphlets he held out to her and her doubts lessened as she quickly glanced at each of them. Still looking down at the pamphlets she said "Why are you so interested in women's rights?"
"I do have sisters. But I'm not only interested in women's rights. I think everyone should be able to control their destiny."
His reply intrigued her causing her to look at him more closely. "I suppose you believe in an independent Ireland?"
"Of course" he quickly replied.
"Does my father know he hired a revolutionary chauffeur?"
"He knows my interest in history and politics. I told him that when he generously offered me to read any of the books in his wonderful library. But I wouldn't say I'm a revolutionary." Then he met her glance in the mirror. "And I won't always be a chauffeur."
Whatever discomfort Sybil felt quickly dissipated when she realized that finally she had someone to talk to regarding not just women's rights but politics in general.
In the library Sybil stood on the far side of the fireplace watching as Branson leafed through a book then returned it to the shelf and pick up another book and quickly leafing through it before placing it back on the shelf.
"Having trouble finding something of interest?"
At the sound of her voice Branson quickly turned around. "My Lady" he said. "I didn't realize you were in here." He glanced towards the open library door.
"Don't worry" she said. "Carson has gone downstairs." She smiled as she starting walking towards him. "So-" she was now standing beside him "Do you ever read a book just for the pleasure of it?"
Crinkling his forehead he turned to look at. "What?"
"Well I couldn't help but seeing in the ledger the books you've been reading and I must say they all seem rather" she paused as if searching for the right word and finally giving up shrugged her shoulders. "Books can be fun and entertaining you know. I've always liked books that take me to a world I've never been to like the jungle or a tropical island or even books that are just plain silly and make me laugh."
"Tell you what" she said "I'll read a political book you suggest and you read a book I suggest." Noticing his reluctance she added "I could suggest something like Robert Louis Stevenson's Treasure Island just for the world of pirates or his The Master of Ballantrae which does have some politics."
She looked at him and smiled. "Or I could suggest Kipling's Just So Stories and you could learn how a camel got his hump or a leopard got his spots."
Looking quite serious he said. "Can't tell you how many times I've stayed awake at night wondering why camels have humps."
She huffed and stomped her foot. How dare he mock me she thought but then looking at him she noticed the sparkle in his oh so blue eyes and the hint of a smile. "Well then you'll ponder no more, Kipling's Just So Stories it is.
Downton 1919
"It was so wonderful to finally have someone to talk to about things of interest to me. Mary and Edith were never interested in women's rights although-" cocking her head Sybil abruptly stopped speaking. "One might say that the issue of Mary being able to inherit Downton after cousin Patrick's death could be construed as a women's rights issue." She looked at her mother. "You inherited a fortune from your father."
"But that was different" Cora countered. "We didn't have entails in America. And you're overlooking that there were women who inherited here in England, daughters of rich merchants and traders. But I think we're going a bit off field discussing inheritances." Cora took a sip of her tea.
Sybil shrugged her shoulders. "It wasn't just women's rights and politics, we talked about so many things … books, our likes and dislikes, our childhoods. It's not that we always agreed on issues" she chuckled "in fact sometimes we'd have rather heated discussions but he'd never say I was wrong or foolish or I didn't understand or" she waved her hand back and forth "he listened to me.
Looking at her vanity table Cora saw among the framed photographs there one of Sybil. She weakly reached out her hand to pick up the photograph of Sybil looking so radiant in the blue silk dress she wore for her coming out ball. Holding the photograph on her lap Cora thought of what a wonderful evening that had been and how so in demand her youngest daughter had been that season garnering far more invitations to balls and dinners then her older sisters had during their seasons. "You seemed to have such a grand time during your season."
"Oh Mama!" Sybil tapped her foot, a gesture she had done she childhood to indicate annoyance or frustration. "Finding someone to dance with or share a joke or a glass of wine is easy but finding someone to talk with, I mean really talk with not just exchange pleasantries isn't quite so easy. I remember two or three of my dance partners making fun of me for canvassing or telling me how silly I was to think women should have the vote."
But Cora wasn't going to concede at least not yet. "I know the war abruptly changed things but now that it's over there will be balls and dinner parties and hunting parties-"
Once again Sybil tapped her foot "All those things that I'm not interested in."
"Just hear me out Sybil. Maybe you'll find that like you the war has changed those men."
"Oh Mama! Why should I go on looking when I love Tom?" Not that she could say exactly when she realized she loved him.
1917
Sybil set her suitcases down on the bare wooden floor and then plopped on to the narrow iron-framed bed. Rubbing her hand across her forehead she thought how could he do that? How could he ask me … she took a deep breath as she looked around the small stark room that would be her home for the next couple of months. Luxurious it certainly wasn't but then again she wasn't here on holiday. Certainly he had to realize how different this is for me, how important it is that I do well, that I can't think about … she once again took a deep breath.
At first she was a bit intimated by it all – the teachers, the work, even her fellow students – and she despaired how ill prepared she was but eventually her natural curiosity and desire for learning conquered whatever fears she had in the classroom and her friendliness and kindness endeared her to most of her fellow classmates. The days were long and tiring but she relished every minute.
Yet there were times when her thoughts would drift to Branson. Sometimes she'd hear someone mention one of the battles and she'd think of the map taped to the garage wall where they'd mark various names like Yres or Amien and found she missed talking about the war with him. She was so excited when she passed her first test and she surprised herself when her first thought was to tell him.
He had said he'd hand in his notice but she'd said no don't go and she wondered if he had stayed. On the day she was going home she stood on the pavement nervously waiting for the motor car from home. As the motor car approached she lowered her head and with both hands smoothed down her dress and when it stopped directly in front of her she lifted her head and smiled in relief to see it was Branson sitting behind the wheel.
But it was a subdued Branson who hopped out of the motor car and after giving her a tip of his hat silently picked up one of her suitcases. Once it was securely fastened to the back of the motor car he picked up the other one and fastened it, then opened the passenger door for her. "My lady" he said without any warmth in his voice as he automatically lifted his hand to help her into the car.
Neither spoke as he started up the engine. The tension in the air was clear to both of them. Tom glanced in the rear view mirror and saw that Sybil was staring at him.
"It will seem strange, but nice, to be home" she said breaking the silence but Tom had no reply. He wasn't in the mood for polite chit chat, he had opened his heart to her and thought he deserved something more than idle chatter.
"It was my first time away from home. It was my first time attending a real school" she said quietly while still staring straight ahead.
Tom had no idea what she was getting at so he remained silent.
"I was nervous, unsure of myself despite all the encouragement from cousin Isobel and" she looked at him in the rear view mirror "you."
"Oh Branson" she said as she leaned forward. "I want to be something more than just Lady Sybil, more than just a dilettante. Becoming a nurse means so much to me. Why did you have to pick then to tell me your feelings?"
Rarely was Tom at a loss for words but she had surprised him with her question and it was obvious from the way she sat there staring at him that she was waiting for his answer. "I was afraid. What if after your training you were send to London or somewhere away from Downton … the thought that I wouldn't see you again … I … I … I couldn't let you go without letting you know how I feel about you."
She slowly nodded her head.
"Have I ruined everything?" The heartbreak so evident in his voice cut her deeply.
"I want to make a success of my nursing. I want to prove to myself I can do it, that I can make something of my life that is something more than what is expected of me as Lady Sybil." She took a deep breath. "You've become my closest friend Branson but I can't go beyond that right now. Can you understand that?"
His heart pounded, was she saying that it was possible in the future, that she … he suddenly had hope again and he nodded his head.
1918
As a child she'd scramble up this hill ahead of Papa, running and laughing as she and Pharaoh zigzagged across the grass chasing each other, occasionally causing one of them to trip. Her hair which had been neatly tied back with a ribbon by nanny becoming a messy mop as the wind blew tendrils of her dark hair every which way. Here her father had taught her how to fly a kite.
But that seemed a long time ago as Sybil walked up the grassy hill. As she had grown up she'd walk up here alone, Pharaoh no longer nipping at her heels. She loved the view from here where one could look across to gently rolling fields or down at the magnificent building that was Downton. Then as now it was a good place to think.
Today the honey colored stone of the house glowed in the late afternoon sun. The fields were lush with greenery and she knew the small whitish shapes that dotted the fields were sheep. She rubbed her hands down the sides of her nurse's uniform. It all looked so calm and peaceful belying the reason for her drab gray dress.
But she wasn't here to think about the war or the hospital or any of that. No it was what Branson had said to her that brought her up to this place today. "You're too scared to admit it but you're in love with me." As she stood on this hilltop looking out at the fields and woods she had roamed as a child and the house where she was born she wondered if what he had said was true and if so what exactly was she afraid of?
Downton 1919
"Did you talk to her" Robert asked as he paced across the bedroom.
"I did" Cora, in bed propped up against her pillows, responded. "But I'm afraid you won't be happy.
Robert stopped his pacing and stared at his wife.
"We had quite a long chat actually" his wife continued. "This isn't some rash decision. Apparently they've been friends almost since he first came here. She's in love with him Robert and has been for quite some time."
Robert slapped the bed post. "I knew I should have fired him after that incident where she was injured at the vote count." He turned and stared at his wife. "And you're happy with this … you're-"
"Don't you dare say I'm being so American." Cora sat up a little straighter "we've already had that discussion. Am I happy about it of course not. It's not what I wanted for her but we have to accept it. You need to make your peace with her."
Robert grunted.
"Robert she's the same daughter you've loved since the day she was born and she's still that daughter. She's still that kind, sweet, lively-"
"Stubborn" he bellowed.
Cora smiled. "Yes she's that too." Cora leaned back on the pillows.
"So Cora you're quite ready to go along with this madness."
"Oh Robert what I want is for her to be happy and while the life she'll lead in Ireland isn't what I envisioned for her it is what she wants."
Robert shook his head but Cora was steadfast. "Robert she's going to Ireland whether you or I like it. Make your peace with her."
Whether it was bare branches glistening with snow, an array of colorful blooms along the garden path, the deep green of the yew arches, or white and purples blooms of wisteria bushes intertwined on the brick wall, no matter the time of year Sybil had always found beauty in formal walled garden. As a child she delighted in running barefoot on the green grass or hiding in the yew arches. Later she found peace here strolling on the gravel path or sitting on one of the wrought iron benches basking in the warmth of a summer sun. She often sought refuge here after particular grueling shifts at the hospital surrounded by the beauty of the garden and its quietness seemed to wash away the horrors of war.
Today, as she walked on the gravel path around the edge of the garden she thought of the climbing roses that would soon bloom filling the air with their sweet scents. But now those rose bushes held only the faintest hints of buds while the only spots of color were provided by the yellow blooms of winter jasmine and the red berries of the winterberry shrubs. The air was cool despite the sunshine and Sybil was glad for the warmth of her woolen cape.
The peacefulness was broken by Mary's "I thought I might find you here." Of course Mary didn't mention that she had actually followed her sister here. "You always loved this place." She sat down beside Sybil on one of the wrought iron benches. "I can still see you here as a child chasing rabbits or butterflies." She chuckled "or how upset the gardener became when you plucked some flowers right out of the ground." She stayed silent for a few moments. "Won't you miss it?"
"Of course" Sybil replied. "But I hear they do have gardens in Dublin" she said somewhat sarcastically.
"You're not changing your mind?"
Sybil momentarily closed her eyes as she took a deep breath. "I'm tired of talking about this Mary. I've already had conversations with Papa, Granny and Mama. I love Tom and I'm going to Ireland with him and that's that."
Mary bowed her head. "Of course" she said softly. "I guess I've known that since the Swan Inn."
Sybil turned to look at her sister. "You've never mentioned that night since then. You never told Papa."
Mary shrugged. "I guess I thought you would come to your senses but then I'd remember how you looked at him and how he looked at you and I knew I couldn't …" she slightly shook her head.
Sybil reached out and took hold of Mary's hand. "Even when I knew I loved him I wasn't sure I could leave here."
Mary gently squeezed Sybil's hand. "But in the end you did choose to leave with him."
"It's not like I'm never coming back Mary. Anyway someday you'll be leaving here and so will Edith and-."
"Oh please" Mary snorted. "Edith will-"
"Now Mary" Sybil quickly interrupted her sister.
Mary laughed. "Now Mary. How many times have you said that to me? Or 'Mary you don't really mean that'." Sybil joined her sister in laughing. Then turning serious Mary said "You've always seen me as a better person that I am." She squeezed Sybil's hand. "Oh how I'll miss you Sybil."
"But you'll be leaving soon too." Mary looked perplexed. "I mean when you marry Sir Richard or" she slyly looked at her sister "should I say if you marry Sir Richard."
Now Mary looked astonished. "If I marry Sir Richard!" Whatever makes-"
Again Sybil quickly interrupted. "Oh Mary! It's not hard to see that you don't think of him the way you did Matthew."
Mary quickly redrew her hand from Sybil's grasp. "It's been over with Matthew for a long time. He moved on with Lavinia and now he's grieving for her."
"But I've seen the way Matthew would look at you Mary. I don't know what came between the two of you but Matthew never stopped caring for you."
"Somethings are just not meant to be" Mary replied.
Sybil shook her head. "Sometimes we don't want to admit even to ourselves what we really feel. For a long time I was afraid to admit to myself what I felt for Tom."
"You're a stronger person than me Sybil." Mary touched her sister's cheek. "I'm going to miss you so much." Then with a shrug of her shoulders she cheekily said "I might never forgive you for leaving me here with Edith."
"Oh Mary!"
To which both sisters hardily laughed.
Sybil was surprised to find her mother up and dressed. "Mama I hope you don't feel you have to see me off. You are still recovering you know."
Cora laughed "and you're still Nurse Crawley." Then reaching out for her daughter's hands said. "I never told you how proud I was of you. Sometimes, when you weren't looking I watched you with the patients. You were a wonderful nurse Sybil."
"Oh Mama!" Sybil hugged her mother. "Thank you for saying that."
Holding Sybil's hands Cora stepped back and looked at her daughter. "It's just so hard to believe you're getting married" which caused Sybil flinch. "No no I don't mean it like that, I meant that you're old enough to marry. It seems like only yesterday you were wrecking havoc pretending to be a pirate or chasing the dog around the house" Cora started laughing "or the time you brought a frog in to your bedroom for Edith to kiss so she could meet a Prince."
"Somehow I don't remembering you laughing about that frog." Sybil good-naturedly said. "I guess I was rather wild."
"You were always my free-spirit child." Cora leaned towards Sybil as if conspiring with her. "To be honest I rather enjoyed seeing your Granny shocked by your antics."
"I will miss you Mama."
Cora nodded. "Oh!" she walked over to her vanity table and picked up an envelope. "This is for you" she held out the envelope for Sybil whose eyes widened as she looked inside it. "Mama!" she cried out.
Cora clasped Sybil's hands. "These past few years I haven't had much chance to spend my monthly allowance. Setting up your own home will take a bit of money. Take this as a wedding present from the Levinsons although I imagine my mother will be sending you something when she gets the wedding invitation."
"I best be getting on" Sybil said. "I do have a train to catch."
She took a few steps towards the bedroom door before turning around and running to her mother. Hugging her once more Sybil whispered "Papa did give me his blessing. I love you Mama."
As she came to the bottom of the grand staircase Sybil saw Carson coming from the library. "Your cases have already been delivered to the station my lady."
"Thank you Carson. Is Papa in the library?"
"Afraid not my lady" Carson replied. Seeing Sybil's shoulders slump the butler felt a tinge of sadness of her obvious disappointment. He might not agree with her actions, in fact he was rather appalled, but he wasn't heartless. He had known her all her life and while she wasn't the apple of his eye as Mary had been he would admit for having a rather soft spot for her. "I believe he received an urgent call about something at one of the tenant farms."
"Well" Sybil gave a weak smile. "We did pretty much say our goodbyes yesterday." She began to walk towards the front entry. "Oh Carson" she turned around and to his astonishment she stood on her tiptoes and said "goodbye" before kissing his cheek.
"I thought we said our goodbyes at breakfast" Sybil remarked upon seeing her sisters standing out front where the motor car idled with the new chauffeur, a former Army captain and probably twice the age of Branson obviously Robert was taking no further chances, stood waiting.
"We had to get one last hug" Edith replied. "It won't be the same without you around."
As Sybil hugged her she said. "You've a lot to offer Edith. Don't be afraid. Just like you did during the war find a talent and do it."
To Mary Sybil offered "don't settle Mary. Follow your heart Mary."
As her daughters said their final goodbyes Cora watched from her bedroom window. Touching the window she said "be happy my baby" as tears began streaming down her face.
From the hill where he and a young Sybil flew kites, Robert looked down at the front of Downton. He watched as his daughters stood laughing and hugging. It had been Lavinia's funeral that had opened his eyes as he realized her father would never again be able to look into her eyes, or see her smile, or hear her laugh. She was gone forever. But his Sybil was still alive and if she left without his blessing, he might never see her again. Did he really want that? She was still the child who had made him laugh, who had given him such joy, who had tried his patience at times. She was still the daughter he loved. While his heart was broken and he didn't approve of her choice he had to accept it and so he had given Sybil his blessings.
He stood up here on this hill because he didn't want anyone to see his tears as the motor car drove down the gravel drive towards the village railway station.