"Vocal…lessons?" asked The Hunter.
"Yes. You will listen to a myriad of dialects. MAGIC operates in many ways," the Commander explained, starting an old camera.
A symphony fanfare introduced the monochrome training film titled, 'Know your Dialects!' A procession of flags rolled across the screen, though only the pattern-distinctive ones were recognizable.
"You may think you know English very well, but English is more than being able to speak, you got to listen too," the narrator spoke, the scene fading to a group of men wearing…skirts? "Have a listen to these Scots."
"Ei'll tell yu what. If yu doun't chuurnit right into the bull, yu're bieing all the hops!"
"Holy Hera, what was that gibberish?"
The scene changed to a different group of men wearing peaked stetsons, "We've a-reders to puckop by thee dawn. Shore up lads, it'll only be a trip."
"That…made more sense…?"
And yet a third group appeared in an oriental setting, "I ca nota say how mucha yoo can have. Their is problem at iron tracks."
"These are only three examples of English you may come across, and there may even be variations within variations. Take some time time to learn how different people speak and you'll soon pick up the cues."
"Cues?"
"Yes, cues. When I first met you, you had a noticeable east Mediterranean accent. Now you speak like the rest of us!" The Sir stopped the training film there, "Now, what did you notice about the first group?"
"They spoke like they're straining their voices."
"That's one way to put it. The Irish tend to hard-pronounce the 'I' sound regardless of the word."
"Didn't the film say Scots?"
"Same thing, what about the second?"
"They're northern, but it sounds like a mix of dialects."
"Correct! Canadians are the marbled cheddar of the Americas, combining their Nordic roots with French enunciations when speaking English."
"You mean Lastrygonian giants?"
"One, that's offensive. Two, don't let a Canadian hear you say that. For the final group?"
"Ugh! I could barely understand his broken voice!"
"The described 'brokenness' is a key staple of Far Eastern speech. They just carried it over to English because neither language translates well."
"Okay…I still don't understand why I'm doing this. You assigned me to Firesquadron TAPS."
"True, but Firesquadron operations are a long way away. Until then I'm assigning you to the Highland & Cropper's Own Battalion."
"Those prideful, screaming boons?!"
"Yes, you'll fit right in!"