Chapter 18

***Chapter contains rape***

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"Honey, Sheriff Holmes is on the news…" Grace Taylor called to her husband. Doc immediately came to join his wife in the family room of their modest Victorian where she sat in an armchair in front of the television.

"In a turn of events that can only be described as shocking, Earl County Sheriff Lucius Holmes was found injured in his home and, along with his wife, Bronwyn Freed, was arrested on charges of Kidnapping and imprisonment in relation to the abduction of NYPD Sergeant, Olivia Benson who went missing from New York City three months ago this past April…" the woman reported from where she stood in front of Harlan's home.

Suddenly a picture of Olivia, dressed in uniform blues appeared on the screen and Doc felt his stomach fall out of his ass while his face became ghostly white. "Holy Christ on the fuckin cross! She's a goddamn cop? We raped a cop…this sick fuck let us rape a fucking cop…let ME rape a fucking cop FOUR TIMES?!"

"It is reported that Sergeant Benson had managed to escape before Lancaster police raided the home this morning and that Holmes was found castrated and near death inside the very room where he'd kept the woman hostage for the last three…" Doc grabbed the remote and turned off the television.

"I… I don't believe this, I mean, Lucius? This is sick; why would he…" Doc stammered. It took everything in him to force a façade of calm. "That poor woman…if I had known…"

I KNEW it was too good to be true…and now she's gone; fucking hell!

"I'm shocked!" Grace declared as she clutched at the pearls that dangled from her thin neck and above the scoop collar of the yellow shift dress she wore with the beautiful monarch butterfly print. "That man's been in our home a million times…we considered him a friend, I don't understand." She cried.

"I guess the old saying is right, you never can truly know someone" Doc said, shaking his head in mock disgust.

What if Lucius talks? What if… Robert, get a hold of yourself, you heard the news lady, he's near death. He can't say shit!" he told himself.

"That poor woman" Grace sympathized "What she must have gone through…" she said, sadly as she turned the television back on.

Currently, the whereabouts and condition of Sergeant Benson are unknown but Lancaster police are very closely monitoring the situation and we will bring you more on this story as it develops. For news 12, I'm Megan Redd; Charles, back to you."

"Honey, you've been to that house several times since April…"

"And I swear, I had no idea that he had anyone in there" Doc lied. "This just blows my mind!"

"I'm going to go and call the girls…we'll need to do something to help that poor woman…maybe a prayer circle…" she continued as she left the room and doc began nervously pacing, wondering what his next move should be. What if he was implicated in this? What if it came to light what they'd done? He knew that Harlan had recorded everything; it was his insurance to make sure that no one involved would ever try to reveal what went on in that house... what they did to that woman.

"People wouldn't understand" he said to himself under his breath, so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the door open and Sam come inside.

"Wouldn't understand what?" The young man asked his father

"Son, I didn't hear you come in" doc said as he made his way over to his son and hugged him, kissing his cheek. "I was just saying that people won't understand all this mess with Sheriff Holmes"

"You mean that lady cop?" Sam asked as he took a seat on the sofa

"You heard?" Doc asked

"I…yeah, it's all over the news."

"That poor woman, they say her whereabouts are unknown"

"No, she's safe"

How would you know that, son?" Doc asked nervously

"Turns out, the woman I told you about, the one that was hurt? "

"It was her?" Doc suddenly felt as if he were having a heart attack.

"Yeah. Broke my heart; she was just lying there in the road"

"Did she say anything about…?"

"She didn't say anything; she was unconscious…she was still unconscious when I left the hospital"

"Then how do you know?"

"The cops are here from New York City - friends of hers. Not sure how it all connected but thank god they're here. From the looks of her, Sheriff Holmes hurt her really bad. I overheard the police say she was… raped." He said in a pained whisper as if the word itself was too horrible to even be spoken.

"What kind of man does that?" he angrily asked his father as he rose from his seat and began walking the room to quell the contempt he felt for the man he knew as Lucius Holmes.

"Now son..."

"No, Dad! Look, I know you raised me to not judge but any man that does that to a woman… beats her and forces her to…" he bit his lip to stop the tears in his eyes "He's not human! He's an animal and needs to be put down like one! I just thank god her friends are there, nobody will get close enough to hurt her again!"

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No matter how hard he tried to not let it affect him, Fin was sickened at what chief Arlow had disclosed to him about what had been done to Olivia in Harlan's home though he had no idea why he was so shocked to hear it. Just the fact that she had been abducted and was still alive after three long months, Fin knew the moment he'd heard her broken voice on the other end of the phone early this morning. He just didn't want to believe that it had but now, to have it confirmed…everything in him wanted to find Harlan and beat him to death with his bare hands!

He couldn't tell Nick and Amanda what he knew – there was no question about that. It wasn't his place and he honestly didn't believe that they could handle knowing. Still, he was well aware that it wouldn't remain a secret. There were recordings, the press was already camping outside the hospital trying to get a scoop on the NYPD Sergeant that her own department had all but left for dead and now has miraculously resurfaced… when the news of who Sheriff Lucius Holmes really is comes to light, that's when the circus will really begin. They had to protect Liv as best they could, for as long as they could.

The Mayor would be sending the NYPD crisis team in an attempt to get in front of the situation before it had a chance to spin out of control and Fin couldn't help but laugh knowing that just like with Lewis, this was nothing more than an attempt to cover their own asses and make sure that Olivia wouldn't blame the department and make disparaging remarks. Little did they know, Olivia was in no condition to do anything; she's so traumatized by what she's been through, Fin isn't even sure how much of her is actually still there and suddenly there it is again, the anger he's been fighting since he first heard her voice on the phone and then lost the call. The anger that only grew hotter when they discovered just what they were dealing with with Lewis. Fin was turning to go back to Olivia's room when his phone rang yet again. He gave a tired sigh, determined that if it was anyone from NYPD he would ignore the call. He was already fed up with their bullshit and couldn't bear to have more shoveled his way. Taking the phone from his pocket, he looked at the display and swallowed hard at the name he saw on the screen, unsure what to even say to the man but he knew that this was one call he couldn't ignore, knowing that the man had been just as devastated with worry these last three months as the rest of them had and so it was with a nervous deep breath that he answered as he walked off in search of someplace private.

"Captain, hey…"

... ... ...

Amanda had just come back from taking a much-needed smoke break outside in order to calm herself before returning to Olivia's room. She was trying to be strong and keep it together for Fin and Nick but it was all starting to take its toll and she wasn't sure how much longer she'd even be able to hold herself together. She had rounded the corner to the empty nurse's station and stopped to take a breath when Dr. Aimes approached.

"Detective Rollins"

"Yes ma'am?" Amanda answered forcing herself to appear more bright eyed and sound more chipper than she felt.

"I was just on my way to examine Sergeant Benson and I was wondering if uh…" she stammered, looking through the information on her tablet that contained Olivia's medical information. She knew that she had seen a name listed for emergency contact when file had been sent from New York City, she just had to find the document where it was lis…

"…Detective Cassidy was here?" she asked having found what she was looking for. After their breakup, Olivia had forgotten to remove Brian as her emergency medical contact and proxy.

"Uh, no but he is on is on his way"

"Would you have me paged when he arrives? I have some things I need to discuss with him"

"Yes ma'am…doc?"

"Yes?"

"She…Olivia…I mean, she'll be alright, won't she?" Amanda asked, her brave façade crumbling and every bit the heartache and worry on her face and in that question.

"Physically… she'll be fine in no time. I'm sorry detective; I really need to check on her."

"Yeah I… thank you doctor Aimes"

Thank you" the older woman smiled before turning to leave. Amanda looked around nervously before she began fidgeting with her phone, just needing something to keep herself preoccupied and began scrolling through her messages when she heard the elevator doors open and looked up to see Brian step off and into the corridor, spotting her before she had a chance to speak.

"Rollins!" he called, relieved to see a familiar face as he rushed over to her. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy; she knew that he'd probably cried the entire drive here.

Brian had developed a tough exterior over the years but the truth is, he's still that same sensitive guy who's head-over-heels for Olivia and she remains, even all these years later his weakness. When he got the call saying she'd been found, every emotion he had went to the extreme all at once and he was a complete mess. He was at home when he'd gotten the call from Rollins and he was thankful that it was his day off because all he could do after hanging up the phone was to sink to the floor and cry like a baby for over an hour. Relief had literally immobilized him but then when he'd finally managed to peel himself off the floor and get himself into the car, his mind was flooded with 'what if?' scenarios and it drove him crazy, pushing the floodgates open again. His tears with the torrential rain almost sent him flying off the road several times but he made it here in one piece, finally. But stepping into the hospital, knowing that he was so close to being able to see her, to touch her; possibly hold her in his arms and be able to comfort her and give her all the assurances that everything would okay…

"I was starting to think you had an accident"

"No I… just caught traffic. Where is she?"

"You'll have to wait, the Doctor is in with her; she's been waiting for you to get here, Liv still has you listed as her emergency contact"

"How is she?" he asked, prompting Amanda to hang her head and shake it before forcing herself to look up at him.

"Trapped in a nightmare with a monster for three months… but she's alive"

"Oh god!" he could feel the sick rising again.

"You gonna be okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I… listen, about last night…" he began, neither of them noticing that Nick had come down the hall and was standing less than 10 feet away from them.

"Brian, I told you, it's done. Don't okay?"

"I feel like I took advantage"

"Well, you didn't, so don't." she assured him.

"I just, I wanna be sure that, you know…"

"Olivia doesn't find out?" she finished. Just the fact that he would feign concern for her when all he really wanted was her silence; silence he didn't need to ask for because there was no way she would ever tell Olivia or anyone what happened between them. She knew it was callous but as far as she was concerned, the very second he pulled out and she'd cleaned herself up it was a non-issue, an indiscretion that she would bury along right along with a host of other secrets she would take to the grave.

"I don't want her to be hurt any more than she already has. She and I aren't together, I know this and if it were a stranger… but you and she are close…"

"You don't think I know this? If all you wanted was to know that I would keep quiet; that's fine, but don't you dare pretend to give a shit about how I feel just to cover your own ass!"

"Amanda…"

"And for the record, I would never do anything to hurt that woman! She's been part of the only real family I ever had and while I admit that I fucked up by sleepin with you last night, all it was was what it was – we slipped up! You think I would throw that in her face?"

'I didn't mean…"

"You're an ass!" she spat as she turned to leave, shocked beyond everything to come face to face with Nick who was absolutely livid.

"Nick, I…" she began in an attempt to assuage his anger with an explanation but he was having none of it and put up his hand to silence her.

"No." He refused to hear it as he made his way over to Brian who still didn't know he was there, tapped him on the shoulder and when Brian turned around, Nick sent his fist flying at Brian's face, hitting him so hard that he knocked him to the floor with one punch.

"You son of a bitch!" he yelled

"What the hell is your problem?!" Brian held his hand against his jaw to stop the throbbing

"What's my problem? Liv is gone, god knows what was being done to her and all you can think about is taking advantage of Rollins? Get up!"

"He didn't take advantage of me, Nick!" Amanda yelled, getting in between the two men as Brian got to his feet.

"You defendin him?" Nick asked

"I'm not defendin anybody! We had a moment of bad judgment and it's over! When are you gonna realize that I'm a big girl and I am more than capable of takin care of myself? Damn it, Nick!"

"Alright I'm sorry, but this guy is a dick!"

"And you knockin him on his ass won't make things better! What if Liv had been awake and heard? You gotta control yourself!"

"I step away for a few minutes and you kids actin up?" Fin said as he entered the area "Don't make me take off my damn belt!" he yelled. The three bickering adults grew quiet, suddenly feeling like foolish, petulant children in the wake of their outbursts.

"We're here for Liv" Fin continued "Whatever drama y'all got goin on, I don't give a shit but not here, not now and if you can't put it aside then get the hell on cuz Liv don't need it! We clear?"

"Yeah man" Brian agreed

"I'm good" Amanda mumbled

"Me too" Nick murmered even lower.

"Good. Why is nobody with Liv?"

"The doctor's in there checkin her out. I'm gonna take a walk!" Nick said before storming off.

"Me too!" Amanda said, suddenly needing to get out again.

"Lemme guess" Fin said, tuning to Brian "You too?"

"Nah man, I'm good!" he assured Fin as he patted him on the back.

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In Lancaster, Chief Arlow had come back to the station after his talk with Fin, deciding that getting a statement from Olivia could definitely wait in her current condition and now had the task of dealing with Bronwyn, who sat in a holding cell.

"You know, you can make this easier on yourself and just plead out. When Sergeant Benson wakes up and gives her story about your part in all of this..." he reminded Bronwyn, but she wouldn't budge. She was smart and knew that no matter what happened, Olivia would remember that their last conversation had been Bronwyn offering to help her and that it was because of her telling Olivia about the locks, the road and giving her back the scalpel that she'd even managed to escape in the first place. Even if she hated the woman and would make her pay for what she'd ultimately done to Harlan, Bronwyn knew she had everything she needed to beat this rap and wouldn't give herself up.

"Tell you what, how about we wait for my lawyers to get here and then you can watch them laugh in your face when you offer them that deal. But until then, I say nothing." She stated in her usual calm manner.

"Well, Miss Freed…or do you prefer Lewis? I hope you have Damn good attorneys!"

"I do, and I pay them quite well for their expertise, thank you... I'm parched. Might I trouble you for something to drink?"

"I'll have some water brought to you."

"And I'll be needing my one phone call. I have to call the hospital to check on my husband."

"In a nutshell, they took him by helicopter to Philadelphia where they are now attempting to reattach his severed penis. The Feds have already shown up and upon completion of said surgery, he will be placed under arrest by the FBI for his crimes against Sergeant Benson as well as for having evaded the law for the last 18 years by faking his death… but that's child's play in comparison to the evidence we pulled from that house. The man you married is a deranged animal. And the fact that you stood by and did nothing while he repeatedly raped, prostituted and tortured a pregnant woman tells me that you are probably just as sick as he is and I pray to god that you both get what you deserve!"

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"Brian, is now a good time?" she asked anxiously as she held the phone against her hear. It was brutally cold that day and the last place she wanted to be was outside making yet another call to Brian but with prying eyes and ears all over the precinct, there was no chance of privacy happening and this couldn't wait.

"Yeah, I have a few minutes, what's goin on? You never call me this much at work"

"We've never faced a situation like this"

"Situation…what are you talking about?"

"Look, I've been wanting to tell you all week but we're never home at the same time and the phone tag thing hasn't exactly worked out and I…"

"Liv, just spit it out"

"I'm pregnant" dead silence on his end "…I think"

"You think? What the hell does that even mean?" he asked impetuously, making no attempt to mask his disdain at even the thought that they'd made such a mistake.

"It means that I'm late…very late" she was trying but failing at hiding the disappointment she felt at his attitude.

"When will you know for sure?"

"I bought a test this morning"

"Okay, call me when you're done!"

"Bri-" but he had already ended the call. She sighed and hung her head, looking up again to see that she was suddenly back inside the squad room. It was late and she was alone. She picked up her bag and turned to leave when Brian appeared out of nowhere.

"You take the test?"

"Brian! What are you…? Forget it. Can we talk about this at home, please?" she asked, turning toward the door then opening it and stepping out into the hallway except the hallway wasn't the hallway, it was the loft at the granary but she was alone and again tied to that table wearing the same clothes she had on that day. "Brian?" she called as her heart began pounding. She looked up and she could see him on the other side, still in the squad room and trying to open the doors to get to her but they wouldn't budge.

"Brian…Brian, help me!" She yelled frantically as she tried, to no avail to free herself from her shackles. Brian was shouting something to her but she couldn't hear him, yet she soon discovered what he was trying to say when she felt hands on her body… not just any hands, HIS hands. The hands that no matter how long she lived she would remember the way they felt on her, the way they would travel her body greedily, viviously.

"Missed me, sunshine?" he whispered with a lick to her ear. She thought she would vomit.

"You're dead!" she told herself as she began to tremble, closing her eyes.

"Does this feel dead to you baby?" he asked as he pressed himself against her backside letting her feel his erection as he began undoing her pants.

"This isn't real…this isn't real…" she told herself, trembling even harder when she felt his hand slide into her panties and between her slit.

"Oh, but this is very real!" he grinned, stroking her more fervently while she squirmed beneath him, looking over at Brian who was now throwing himself against the doors trying to break through to get to her. "No sense in fighting it sweetheart, you see... My Daddy told me what you like... "He whispered into her ear"

"S-stop!" she begged through her tears, gripping the table with white knuckles as she felt climax approaching

"Ohhh but you like it…I knew you were a nasty girl!" he said with a chuckle as he sped his pace, his fingers working her furiously "but don't worry, I'm just gettin you warmed up!" he let his fingers move faster and faster between her thighs and as she came she began weeping, collapsing onto the table.

"That's a good girl!" he cooed with a kiss to her neck as he pulled his hand from her pants, his fingers glistening with her wetness. She didn't turn her head to look at Brian again, she just lay there sobbing.

"Well, my job is done!" he announced before picking up the revolver from the table and bending down in from of her so that she could see him "don't forget how good I made you feel" he said then put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger causing a horrific scream to erupt from Olivia as blood and brain matter flew everywhere, drenching her face and clothes.

She slowly stood up, her tears making trails through the blood on her face when suddenly her clothes disappeared and she was dressed in the white nightgown. Though her skin was still covered in Billy's blood she was now free from her restraints. She suddenly she felt a hand around her neck as Harlan lifted her into the air and slammed her down onto the table on her back.

"You killed my boy, and I want him back!" he raged, pushing up her gown while she fought and screamed.

"Freeze Lewis!" Murphy shouted as her squad ran into the loft, guns drawn.

"Not until this whore gives me my boy back! Now come on sweetness, open up for Daddy" he seethed, managing to keep Olivia pinned down in spite of how hard she fought him and there, in the loft of the granary he began fucking her in front of her team. They tried to move but their feet were somehow stuck to the ground and they watched helplessly as he brutalized her

"HELP ME!" she screamed.

... ... ...

She shot upright in her hospital bed sobbing through terrible screams as she clutched at her stomach and began rocking back and forth, all while Brian looked on in complete shock before attempting to comfort her.

"Liv…babe it's okay!" he called to her as he put his arms around her.

"NOOOO!" she screamed, fighting him off and yanking her IV tube from her arm in the process "DON'T TOUCH ME…DON'T TOUCH ME!" she continued screaming, slapping him hard across the face, her nails leaving three bloody scratches across his cheek. She jumped out of bed, quickly stumbling and falling from the pain in her leg then crawling into the corner where she pulled her knees against her chest, covering her ears as her screams and cries prolonged.

"What the hell?" Nick yelled as he and Amanda ran into the room

"Brian, you're bleeding!" Amanda said

"She woke up screaming, I tried to calm her" Brian explained. He was completely freaked out! Even at her worst after Lewis, he'd never seen her like this.

"I'll get the doctor" Amanda said and ran from the room

"Liv…Liv you're alright" Nick said, trying to calm her but nothing seemed to get through, she was obviously somewhere far away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She screamed louder then began rocking as she pulled at her hair from both sides of her head.

"I promise, no one will touch unless you want them to…see?" he said as he raised his hands.

"Nobody helped me…" she sobbed talking more to herself "So many people and nobody helped me" she hung her head and cried even harder, her frail body shaking.

"Liv please look at me" Nick begged as tears fell freely down his face, but she didn't; it was as if she couldn't even hear him. "I'm so sorry. I am so sorry that we couldn't do more to help you when you needed us. For as long as I live I will hate myself for not finding you sooner…" as if his words were getting through, she slowly raised her head and looked over at him

"…for letting you go to begin with, but I'm here now; we all are and we love you and we just want to help you…please let us!"

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you come for me?" the doctor and nurse stood in doorway, Fin and Amanda having begged for a moment to allow Olivia to calm down

"We tried Liv, I swear we tried to find you" Brian said from where he stood. She looked at him as if seeing him for the first time and her heart nearly burst.

"Brian…" his name fell from her lips in a whisper.

"I'm here babe" he slowly stepped closer to her, careful that he didn't move too fast and frighten her again.

"Brian!" she said slightly louder then dropped her head into her palms and began sobbing again. She didn't know how to be in his presence anymore – in any of their presence and she felt out of place and ashamed. When he was two feet away from her, he crouched down beside Nick.

"I was so afraid I'd never see you again." he whispered to her. "Oh God, Liv, can I touch you?" he cried. She didn't answer him, she just threw herself into his arms nearly knocking him off balance but once he had her, he held her tight as they cried in each other's arms.

"I wanted you!" she sobbed. her arms around his neck where her face was buried.

"I'm here, and I'm never letting you go again!" he swore, burying his face in her hair as he wept.

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There you have it. Lot's more to come.