Chapter 25 and I'm so sorry that it took so long. For those still not in the know I had a stroke and well...so anyway here it is and I hope you like it.

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"We get anything on the case?" Murphy asked.

"Nothing. We've tried everything and nothing." Fin said.

"Alright. Why don't we call it a night? Go home, get some sleep, I'm sure we'll find something tomorrow." He said.

"No argument there." Amaro said.

"By the way, how's Olivia? I haven't seen her this past week."

"She's um, she's dealing." Amanda said. "You know, one day at a time."

"I'll keep her in my prayers. Goodnight guys." He said to the squad. "Keep your heads up." And he left.

"What do you say we go out for a drink?" Fin said. "Sleep won't be comin for me tonight."

"That sounds like a great idea." Amaro said. "Gimme ten." He said and walked off. Amanda began organizing her desk as Fin cleaned off his.

"You know it won't get any easier."

"What won't." She asked, not turning around to him and marking off a couple of papers.

"Liv."

"I - I know that, I'm just..."

"Just..."

"...I don't know. I just... I'm... I need time, okay?" She said in a low voice as she turned to him.

"It's okay." He said as he approached her desk and took a seat. "...but in case you were wondering, there's a lot more Liv there than you think; she's just wounded that's all."

.

Ever since the doctor sedated Olivia early this evening, she'd been in a deep and mercifully dreamless sleep but now she'd begun stirring and suddenly opened her eyes, drawing in a deep breath as she quickly sat up, her eyes scanning the room which thankfully still had the lights on. After three months confined to a room with nothing but a candle or two for light, she didn't think she'd ever sleep with them off again. Anxiety gripped her when she noticed that Fin wasn't there and she immediately called out for him and got nervous when she was met with silence.

She brought her left hand up and ran it through her hair, noticing the new bandage on her forearm and she had no idea why it was there.

Steadying her breathing, she threw the covers off and slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, she didn't stop to put her slippers on, deciding that she just needed to get out of the room and took the IV and slowly made it towards the door, limping as she walked.

She made it to the door and stopped to wipe her brow before opening it, shocked to find Harlan standing on the other side.

"Now, where you goin?"

"You're dead!" She cried, backing up.

"Is that what you thought?" He wondered as he caressed her face. She continued to back away until she ran into the bed and fell backwards, her hands suddenly in the restraints.

"Please don't do this."

"You ain't gotta beg. I'm gonna do you so good and then I'm gonna do you again; hell I'll probably fuck you all night." He came to the bed and ripped her gown off, still amazed at her body in spite of the circumstance and quickly kissed his way down, hard and rough. She could feel his mouth against her breasts and it sickened her.

"No, no dont. Don't!" She began to cry but he was busy planting kisses to and sucking and biting her flesh. Finally after making her come with his mouth, he positioned himself against her, and took her hard against her screams.

"Music to my ears!"

... ... ...

She tangled herself up in the sheets before screaming so loud she certainly woke the neighbors when she sat up. Startled awake and clutching her chest, she eventually broke into tears and just sat and sobbed there on the sofa.

She'd been home now for two weeks and finally three days ago, she promised everyone that she would be okay alone but she silently wished that she hadn't. Ever since that night in the hospital, she'd been terrified by nightmares of being raped all over again, seeing it in so many ways; every time she closed her eyes and now seeing Harlan, it was all too much to deal with.

After a moment she got up, looking at the clock, 12:26 and going to the living room window. She stared out at the night, it still amazed her that life had gone on and continued when she was in the worst time of hers. A whole other season had come, erasing spring and bringing summer in. Now here it was, early August and life had carried on without her, wiping her tears she released the curtain, once again enveloping herself in solitude that she had grown used to, making her way to the kitchen. Since her nausea had died a week ago, the baby left her ravenous which was hard considering she didn't feel like food but still, she decided to do what was best and forced herself to eat. She still hadn't decided what she would do, being on the medication for her leg had nullified her making a decision but she had been off the antibiotics for two days and she didn't know what to do. But she wouldn't let it go hungry while she was trying to figure it out. Fin was still the only person who knew and she wanted to keep it that way.

"I still don't know what your future holds and I'm sorry." She said with tears filling her eyes. "To be honest, I don't even know what my future holds." She admitted with her hand to her stomach, resting on her small bump.

"Maybe I can't decide because in my heart I already knew. Maybe you deserve a chance, or maybe I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm going to destroy us both. Maybe...maybe I shouldn't do this after all..."

... ... ...

Twenty minutes later, she was cleaning the kitchen when there was a sudden knock on the door and she froze.

"Who is it?" She wondered, near silent as she grabbed a knife. The knocking continued and she asked again as she steeled her nerves, asking louder. "Who is it?" She asked moving closer.

"Liv, it's Elliot." She crept closer to the door and now stood beside it.

"What do you want?"

"I just wanna see you to know that you're okay."

"I'm fine. You can leave."

"Liv please..." She stood there, silent as she ran things through her head. She had made it clear that she didn't want to see him yet, still knowing that he'd remained close; yet she didn't know if she could risk it.

"Olivia...?" He got no answer. "Liv please don't shut me out... I know I made a mistake in not being here for you when you needed me in the past and I'm sorry. You have no idea how much, but I'm here now. I don't want anything other than to know you're okay, please give me that chance... Liv..."

The door made several clicking sounds as it came undone and when she opened it, he could see that she'd been crying, even more, she just looked a mess even in spite of how she tried to obscure it. She stood there silent, looking at the ground, neither of them sure what to say to each other but he knew one thing and that was that she needed him and this time, he'd be here for her no matter what. He had been a world away in the past; not this time.

"I'm sorry."

"I needed you." She said with tears in her voice while she stood looking down. "I needed you, I thought I'd die and I just wanted to have you hold me one last time..." And it was with that that he slowly walked in and threw his arms around her. She tried to be strong but she quickly lost it and cried all the tears that she hadn't.

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At the bar, the squad walked in the place and was surprised to see Cassidy sitting at the bar on a stool.

"Look who's here." Amaro said.

"I'm gonna go grab us a booth." Amanda said, quickly walking past. Fin looked at Amaro and signaled that he'd be with he and Amanda shortly as Nick went to the booth where Amanda was and Fin walked over to the bar and slapped Brian on the back.

"Hey." Brian turned and greeted Fin who took a seat on the stool beside him.

"I didn't expect to see you here." He signaled the bartender for a beer.

"Yeah well I didn't wanna go home so..."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"What's to talk about? Liv is... I understand what she's been... I just don't get... You were there that night, I mean did I imagine that she threw herself into my arms and was happy to see me?"

"Come on man, it's not about that."

"Then what is it? Cuz I have tried to give her space but she just pulls further away from me."

"It's not her man, you gotta take that into consideration. It's not like Lewis, she was... Brian there's a lot that you don't know about, trust me, she's just... Give her time." A few seconds passed before he nodded.

"I just wanna be there for her, to let her know that she's not alone; I just wanna..."

"I know man." He said and put his hand on Brian's shoulder. "Look, why don't you come and have a drink with us." Brian turned to see Amaro and Rollins and quickly declined.

"I better be headin home." He says and stands up, pulling out his wallet to pay for the beers. "Goodnight Fin."

"You gonna be okay man?"

"I'm good."

"Take it easy." He said as Brian turned and staggered out of the bar.

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"I was a fool to not be there when you needed me. Elliot said. He held her and allowed her to cry and she had been doing it for the past twenty minutes. There on the sofa she sat, held safe against him as if time never left. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, his arms around her, holding her with so much love. He made a mistake three years ago when he left like he did, if he had known what she'd have been here going through, all that she'd endure without him. But right now for her, none of it mattered. What mattered for her was that she was in his arms and it felt right.

"...It's not-"

"It is important. If I had been here Lewis never would have gotten to you, his father never would have..."

"Please don't..." She said moving to get up. "I don't want to talk about..." She pulled back the curtain on the window and looked out, noticing a young couple walking hand in hand.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"I used to wish for that."

He walked over to the window and stole a glance, his heart breaking for her.

"I had it, but then... Well, life is life right?" She took one last look at the couple before she let go of the curtain and walked away towards the kitchen and grabbed fruit from the fridge. "Do you want any..."

"Nah, I'm okay." He said as he took a seat at the counter where she chopped. "Talk to me."

She kept chopping for a long time and finally thought of words to say. "What if I don't..."

"Don't say that."

"I just... You don't know what it's like. To wonder."

"You're right, I don't."

"I can't help feeling..." She puts the knife down. "Every night, I see him in my dreams. I see them in my dreams. He taunts me and he humiliates me; and they rape me again and again and again, and I can do nothing but take it." She said with a hand to her face.

"Liv..."

"I know what you think of me...that this is my fault." She said looking away.

"What's your fault?" She stands and looks at him briefly before she looks away. "This? You think this is your fault?"

"Fin said it's not, but I can't help feeling..."

"Liv..." He got up and went to the other side, taking her in his arms. "I wish that I could make this go away. I wish that I could make all of it go away." She found herself quickly drawn to tears again as she held onto him.

"I'm scared. What if I can't come back from this? What if-"

"Hey don't."

"I don't know how to not feel what they did to me and live with it, and I just- I'm scared!" She cried as he held her.

.

The next morning brought another hot day and two very hung over detectives. Fin and Amanda sat at their desks completely hung over, Amanda with her head down and sipping coffee, Fin sat at his desk attempting to type out his DD5 but stopping every five strokes, and blinking to clear his head before sipping coffee and starting again.

"Could you do that somewhere else?" Amanda said, raising her head, her hair a mess covering her eyes. Fin turned and gave her a long, tired look.

"What?"

"Thanks, now I lost my focus." He said.

"It's the DD5!" Fin took a look in both directions then turned and looked back at Amanda.

"I knew that."

"Sure you did..." She said and put her head back down on the desk. Nick came walking in, causing Amanda to think it was a superior and she quickly put her head up and pretended to be working. Nick gave a hearty laugh as he came by looking unfazed and sat down.

"You guys okay? You look a bit dead." He asked with a laugh at how hung over they were.

"Your enjoying this aren't you?" She said and quickly put her head down. Nick broke into laughter.

"Hey somebody had to be the designated driver- I'm just glad it was me."

"I wish it had been me!" Fin said. Just then, Murphy entered and approached the group and Amanda's head went back up.

"Hey, how we doin? Good. So we have a new detective coming in."

"To do what?" Amaro asked.

"To do what? That's funny. To work Amaro. We've been short staffed around here for far too long; two maternity leaves, three transfers, plus Olivia being..."

"We get it." Fin said.

"Good. Then we all understand how much we need somebody and fast." Murphy noted.

"When's he comin?" Amanda asked.

"Tomorrow morning, I should hope that everyone will be welcoming?"

The three detectives sat looking at one another, speaking silently.

"Yeah." Amaro was the one to speak up.

"Good." He said and turned to leave. "By the way, we got a hit on that case, Fin, Amaro, I want you two to get over to Carolyn James apartment, her roommate lied!" He said as he dropped the file on Fin's desk and marched back to the office leaving Amaro and Fin staring at each other before Fin picked up the file and Amaro was behind him staring over his shoulder.

"She told us Carolyn was..."

"...son of a bitch!" Fin exclaimed, suddenly sober. "I knew it!" He said before getting up and he and Amaro promptly heading out.

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Over at Olivia's house as the sun shone through the living room window and she lay asleep on Elliot's lap after having fallen asleep there hours ago, Elliot thought she looked so peaceful he didn't bother waking her up and now he sat up, having finally dozed off two hours ago.

Now just after ten o'clock, Olivia was starting to wake up from her nights sleep. She stretched and opened her eyes and noticed that she was lying with her head in a lap and quickly sat up, frightened.

"Liv?" Elliot was suddenly startled from his sleep and turned to see her jump back. "You're safe, it's okay."

"I'm alright." She said catching her breath. She ran her fingers through her hair as she took another deep breath.

"You sure?" He said, reaching for her absently.

"Just...don't. I'm fine!"

"I could..."

"Yeah I um...could I have a glass of water?"

"I'll be right back." He got up and went to the kitchen, speedily returning with a glass. "Here you go."

"Thank you." She quickly turned the water up and drank it fast.

"Your okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." She said holding the water glass and looking down at it. "I just...I forget where I am sometimes and...I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize."

"I wish everyone would stop saying that." She said in barely a whisper. Elliot looked on, unsure of what to say.

"You hungry? I could make us some breakfast." Olivia looked at him and was starting to smile when she suddenly felt nauseous. "You okay." She put down the water glass and ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"Liv?" He was on his way to the bathroom when the doorbell rang. He looked over at the door then back at the bathroom and decided to answer it.

"Brian." He stopped and stared at Elliot for a moment. He was angry that Elliot was there and debated if maybe he should go but then...

"Is Olivia home?"

Yeah, she's um..." He began making movements with his hands to express what he was trying to say. Brian looked on waiting.

"Come on in." He said and stepped back. Brian came walking in the apartment.

"What are you doing here?" Brian seethed.

"Hello to you too." Elliot said as he closed the door and walked into the living room where Brian was looking at the sheets and pillowcase on the couch.

"You uh, you slept here?" He asked.

"...it's not what you think alright-"

Olivia walked in from the bathroom talking to Elliot.

"I think I drank a little too- Brian...I didn't..."

"I know, I uh...I wanted to talk to you. If that's okay."

"Brian... I can't..."

"Liv please. I just..." Olivia looked to Elliot, unsure of what to do. "Please."

She rubbed her temples, staring at the floor and wrapped her arms around herself in uncertainty. "I...it's okay." She said quietly.

"You sure?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, she's sure. You heard her!" Brian yelled.

"I don't believe I was talking to you junior-" Elliot retorted, stepping closer.

"Please just stop!" Olivia said. Elliot and Brian both turned to Olivia, Elliot stepping close and hugging her while Brian stood on looking jealously.

"I'm sorry." Elliot apologized. Brian dragged his hand down his face then put his hands on his hips.

"We both are. I didn't mean to..."

"I'm gonna go, but if you need me..." Elliot started. Olivia simply nodded.

"I'll be ok."

"Call me later?"

"Elliot..."

"I'm sorry. I'll- see you- later?"

"We'll see." She said, he grinned and walked out the door and she locked it behind him.

"What was that?" Brian asked, annoyance in his voice. She looked at him for a long moment before moving from the door and making her way to the couch.

"So you're gonna ignore me?" He asked as she folded the sheets. "Liv look alright, I'm sorry. I just... I'm sorry alright?"

"What do you want?"

"Just to talk"

"Then talk." She said, folding a sheet.

"I just...Liv will you stop folding?"

"I'm sorry."

"No it's fine." He takes a seat on the couch. "How've you been?"

"I've been... Well I'm still here so I guess we can celebrate that." She takes a seat on the far end of the couch.

"I guess we can." He glances over at her. "You look beautiful."

"I don't but thank you. Brian, I want you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you by asking you to stay away and if I did...well, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize"

"These last few weeks..."

"Liv, I know."

"No, you don't. And that's not a judgement it's just... I went through hell in that house and a lot of it involved you."

"I don't understand."

She couldn't help but look down as she spoke to him. "I used you as reason to hold on... And then as a reason to quit. I used all of you as reasons to quit."

"You didn't..."

"Doesn't matter...I'm here now right? I just...you wanted a lot of me and I...I still can't but I don't wanna shut you out and I..."

"Liv I know that I made mistakes and I can't tell you enough how sorry I am but if you let me...I'll try with everything in me to be better for you-"

"Brian you don't get it...I want you in my life but I can't do it as more than friends. I'm barely holding on and I can't be more to you than what you see; I'm sorry."

.

All while everyone else was going with their lives, someone had a secret and they kept this secret very well.

In a large house that sat unused for years, it had finally come alive with a guest. The guest had been unwell and needed a plethora of doctors and nurses to tend to them but the guest was alive, none the less and on this day they'd gotten a visitor.

"I'm sorry that I'm late." She called as she arrived and placed a kiss upon the forehead of the guest who was sleeping. "Any change?" She asked as she feathered about her guest.

"None so far. But the vitals are holding steady." The young nurse assured her. "It's a beautiful day, maybe today will be..."

"The day? As much as I want to hope...I've done so much to keep him safe, I can't lose him now! Why don't you go and get some rest, I'll be here for a couple more hours, I'll watch over him."

"I could use a break."

"You go, he'll be fine."

"I'll be out on the property. If you need me-"

"I know. And please alert the other nurses not to enter."

"Yes ma'am." She said as she closed the door. When the young woman was sure that she had left, she turned hastily to the man lying unconscious in the hospital bed and stroked his hair lovingly.

"Harlan. Oh my love, how I miss you!" She cried, leaning in to kiss him on the lips.

Turns out, He hadn't died at all. In the hospital back in Pennsylvania, Harlan was desperate. He knew that once he was handed off to the feds, he wouldn't stand a chance and Bronwyn knew it too so she used her money to do him some favors. She paid a doctor to lie and say he was suffering from sepsis of the blood and to make it work, she didn't even tell Harlan so when they made the call to her, she acted genuinely surprised and shocked. She went to the hospital and put on a grand facade, acting the part of someone who was losing their husband, even letting him think so when all the while she had his escape all mapped out.

The doctor was instructed to give him something that would lower his body temperature and heartbeat, making him seem dead but it was given with a warning that in his condition, a heart attack may be unstoppable - he was right which was the reason he was lying here now in this predicament. Call it whatever, he would get through this and in the meantime Bronwyn had her Daddy and this time no one would take him away!

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I promised a game changer and boy oh boy! Also, I know that I promised a tragedy but it wouldn't fit in this chapter so next chapter we have a lot to react to.