I apologize for the wait but this damn story would not let me write it so there was a lot of waiting involved. Anyway, I got it, it's here so let's get to it. Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters. Enjoy.

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As Elliot made his way to the hospital the words of his conversation with Nick kept repeating in his head like a loop.

"...there's something you should know...she's pregnant"

How could that be right? He had been with her; he had at least seen her every single day even if for a minute since she'd been back home, how was this possible? And the baby; it had to be Harlan's and while he was glad that Liv was keeping it, (was she?) he didn't understand why. The Olivia he knew would never want to bring a child into the world that way, her own birth was just too traumatizing and she swore she never would. He also knew that if she were keeping the baby, adoption was out of the question. There's no way Olivia would carry a baby and give it up so what the hell was happening here? She's in no shape to be a mother right now; does she even know that there is a baby?

"Jesus Liv, what did that bastard do to you?"

Out in the Hamptons at the Freed estate, Bronwyn busied herself with Harlan's care while she had come to talk to him. She had some news that she thought would be good for him to hear and she couldn't wait to share it, so excited to get to him and tell him, hoping that it would wake him up. But before she could deliver her news, the doctor on call had some news of his own.

"I don't know how considering how long it was severed but it looks like his penile reattachment was a success." He said.

"When you say success?"

"I mean success. The tissues have reattached, the vessels are somehow healthy. Now that most of the swelling has subsided we can see just how well it's doing."

"My Harlan is whole again?"

"For the most part, we'll still waiting for him to wake up so we can test further but this, this is a medical miracle!"

"Do you hear that my love?" Bronwyn said as she stroked his hair with the back of her hand as she looked at him lovingly.

"There is one other thing that I wanted to point out... He has...auto erections if you will."

"Auto..." Bronwyn was pleasantly shocked to say the least.

"For the past four days. We weren't sure if this was just an occurrence that happened with healing...we've never seen it happen to such a degree... Um, if you will, gently stroke him..." All to excited, Bronwyn jumped at the chance. She took him in her hand and before she even moved she could feel his power emanating through her and it spoke, telling her that she was the force that held his dynasty together and in that moment she smiled to herself as she began to carefully stroke him to a hard on, enjoying it so much that she found herself growing wet even as the doctor looked on.

"Amazing!" He said as Harlan's penis grew to a full hard on, enticing the doctor who tried to keep it professional but oh, with Bronwyn stroking it just so... "You can stop now"

"Get out!" She said as she continued to stroke him.

"You don't want to be..."

"Now. Go...find something to do" she huffed and he immediately left the room, leaving the door ajar so he peeked in. Bronwyn immediately hiked up her dress and climbed atop him, slowly impaling herself on him, the familiar ache between her thighs and the pressure filling her so wonderfully.

"My love..." She said, as she rode his unconscious body. "I have some news" she grinned "news that I think will make you very happy..."

She had thought that one day, if she ever gave him this news it would be under different circumstances. She had fantasized about it happening one day, even though he'd said no but hey, things happened and she just knew that he'd be so proud.

"Harlan, I know that you explained to me why Olivia should be the one to give you back William and I understand, I do it's just, something wonderful has happened and I just know you'll be thrilled about it as much as I am... Oh god Harlan!" She screamed as she kept at it.

That night we made love; William is going to have a brother...they'll only be three months apart; they'll practically be...twi- twins." She was coming apart quite quickly at the feel of him inside her.

"Oh sir..." She let out a loud whimper as she clutched the headboard, she was so close. "I'm so fortunate to have your seed growing in my womb, to be blessed with this life...all thanks to you! Oh sweet daisies!" She screamed as she came with a truly maniacal look about her. The crazy that only hinted at her features months ago were now full fledged. William had taken her to the brink but Harlan had done it, he'd pushed her over the edge and there was no coming back, especially now that his baby was more than just a concept she'd dreamt of and as she collapsed, using the headboard to hold herself up from her shaking, when it subsided she leaned down and kissed Harlan, first on the lips then kissing his face and neck.

"I love you darling" she said, kissing him again while he lay unconscious then reaching down to hold his penis while she let it slide from her body with some resistance, his weak ejaculate quickly leaking out of her and she immediately bent down to lap it up and lick him clean.

... ... ...

Out in the hall the doctor was zipping himself up, having spilled himself on the floor. In all his days, he had never seen a member as beautiful as Harlan's; even being discolored he thought it was fabulous and smiled as he bent to clean up his mess!

Nick got to the hospital and up to the ICU to find Amanda kneeling on the floor, seemingly in shock. There were trails of tears on her face as new ones made their way down, and she just sat there quietly with her arms wrapped around herself and crying silently.

"Amanda?" Nick said with his heart beating fast.

"Nick!" She quickly got up and threw herself into his arms, tears flowing. "He's weakening."

"What? He, I just..." She pulled away, a total mess and looked back towards the operating room.

"They had to take him back to surgery... His heart; the bullet moved and caused a bleed... If he dies..." She cried. He pulled her into his arms again.

"Don't. He's gonna be fine." He said holding her.

"He's not and I'm not ready to let him go, I'm not ready..." When she began sobbing his heart broke, not just for her but for himself, for Olivia; she needed Fin. He was the only thing that was keeping her sa... He couldn't die. They all needed him.

"This may be a longshot but..." Just as he was about to finish the doctor came out once again.

"Ms. Rollins" she said. Amanda disengaged from Nick's embrace and turned to face her, wiping her tears.

"Please tell me he's alive!" The doctor stood there and looked at them before she spoke, choosing her words carefully.

"Mommy, if I die will you still love me?" Ashley asked as she lay in her hospital bed on her way to sleep. She had been in and out of the hospital for the better part of a year with leukemia and they'd prayed for a cure, sat back and watched helplessly while she sat on the bone marrow donor list and not a match was found. 3 years old and she would surely die if they didn't find one soon and the clock was ticking. but then god answered their prayers, Grace discovered she was pregnant and the doctor told them that they should test the baby to see if it would be a match and they were overjoyed when the tests came back and it was. Now 8 and ½ months pregnant their baby would soon be here and Ashley would be cured.

"I'll always love you and you're not going to die. Soon your brother will be here in a few short weeks and everything will be better, you'll see."

Grace had moments like this where she thought of Ashley. She was the sweetest little girl and an even sweeter young lady until just before…today makes 14 years since she last saw her baby girl and it hasn't gotten easier to deal with even though she'd long ago accepted that her daughter was dead.

She had decided like every year to take flowers to the river as a memorial to Ashley. She, Sam and Doc would light paper lanterns and say a prayer for her. This year however, it would just be she and Sam after Doc had been arrested...how could he have been involved with the torture of that woman for months and Grace had no idea? It made her sick just thinking about it.

"Sam, 5 minutes!" She called to him as the doorbell rang and she went to open it

"Grace Taylor?" Chief Arlow asked, he was there along with another cop and they both looked serious.

"Look, I don't care what my lousy, soon to be ex-husband has done..."

"Ma'am we're not here for your husband...it's about your daughter."

"Ashley? I don't...what..." She said feeling flustered and suddenly unable to stand as she took a seat in the chair by the door, feeling as if she would faint. She'd told herself years ago that Ashley was gone but she knew in her heart that these men, right now were here to confirm it and she just couldn't hear it.

"Please...don't say it." She begged through her tears that came quickly. Sam was just coming down the stairs and immediately went to his mother when he saw her distress kneeling in front of her to see if she was alright but she just cried.

"Mom?"

"We're so sorry" Arlow began "...but we found her body."

"Her body...Mom wh- Ashley?" Sam said hysterical.

"She was buried in a shallow grave just under the old barn at Sheriff Holmes', her...

Arlow continued talking, Grace went through the motions while Sam was numb and cried silent tears. By the time Arlow and Peters left the house, they too were in tears and they took a moment, sitting in their car.

"Can this year get any worse?" Arlow said as he hung his head.

"What I don't get...why do we do this? Why do we get to go and tell a woman like that, a woman who's already been through the hell of finding out that her husband's a sick rapist; that young man who in spite of his father, is a good man, we have to tell her that her child, his sister was found dead after 14 years and right under our noses...why?" Peters asked as tears trailed his voice.

"I don't know...I don't..." Arlow said and punched the steering wheel several times in a fit of rage and then straightened up, fixed his hair and clothes, returning to the stoic man he always is. "I don't know" He remarked and started the car.

It had been three days since Olivia was admitted and still she hadn't said a word; just slept. Elliot at first thought that it was exhaustion but every day he could see that it was something more. Olivia needed help and he was thankful that she was in a position to get it. Right now she lay there in the bed with her eyes closed, in somewhat of a sleep state while Elliot sat holding her hand.

"Liv... Just tell me what to do" he cried. Three days where he sat here feeling his own sanity start to slip by seeing her this way and there was nothing he could do, nothing except sit and hope and wait...

"I'm here" he told her, stroking her hand as her eyes opened. "Liv?" But she offered no words, just stared blankly at nothing but he could see so much pain in her eyes, pain the lead to tears and those tears soon spilled over I and became drops on her pillow that wouldn't stop even as she wrapped her arms around herself and her her body began to shake from her sobs. Not knowing what else to do and against the doctor's wishes, Elliot picked up her shallow frame from the bed and just held her without a word as she cried, finding comfort in his arms.

Finally after crying for what seemed like hours she fell asleep again and Elliot was alone again there in the quiet with just her sleeping form and his thoughts. He looked at her there in his arms, sleeping what appeared to be peacefully and he couldn't help but start to cry as he held her.

"You didn't deserve this" he whispered to her "all the good you do, all the people you've helped; you didn't deserve this or any of it...Liv I'm so sorry; I'm sorry I wasn't here when you needed me, I'm sorry that I wasn't here to protect you. All the good you do and this... I swear to you I'm gonna help you through this." Looking at her he couldn't help but notice the secret she'd been hiding and he reached down to touch her stomach, coming so close but deciding not to; he couldn't, not knowing how she felt, or if she felt. He still didn't know if she was in fact aware.

He was reluctant to put her down at this point but he'd held her in his arms for two hours he knew her body must be tired with carrying a baby and so he moved to lay her down to at least get her comfortable, but no sooner than he'd gotten up, her eyes opened.

"Please don't let me go..." She said in the smallest voice against his chest, so small he wasn't sure he heard it but there she was, she was in his arms and talking, although it was only those few words but there they were and there she was and he was immediately overcome looking in her eyes.

"I won't Liv, I won't let you go." He promised with his voice full of emotion and sat down holding her close. "I won't ever let you go again!" He promised her, thinking about those long years where he was undercover and all he wished for was her; he wouldn't let go again! He sat for a moment, holding her close and was shocked when he felt her arms slide around his torso as her tears sank into the collar of his shirt.

... ... ...

The next few days, Elliot stayed with her and finally got her eating; she'd sit and let him feed her those first days, eventually taking on the task herself. During that time she'd talk for a bit; never saying much and saying it barely audibly but she was talking and that in in itself made him happy. She slept a lot in those three days, and when she wasn't sleeping she'd cry. No words, just silent tracks of tears or sometimes she'd just sit until sleep claimed her - 11, 12 hours she'd be out then wake up and repeat the cycle.

He slept in the chair by her bedside, talking to her even though he wasn't sure if he was getting through but still he talked to her and when she would close her eyes, he'd watch her sleep and he'd pray. He knew that she didn't much believe in God but he asked him to watch over her; she was in such a fragile mindset and he figured if nothing else, god would help her. It was nearing six o'clock in the evening on the sixth day when Nick walked in and greeted Elliot.

"Hey" He said, a hushed tone which Elliot spoke in as well.

"Hey" Elliot didn't turn around, instead he kept his eyes on Olivia. She was asleep at the moment- thankful sleep, even though her face would be disturbed with worry from time to time, Elliot thought she looked so beautiful and peaceful; he only hoped that her dreams, if she had any, were kind as he moved her hair out of her eyes.

"I got you a sandwich and some coffee" he said, handing Elliot the bag and cup which he gratefully accepted. "I wasn't sure if you'd eaten."

"No, I hadn't. Thanks, I appreciate it." He reached for his wallet.

"Don't worry about it." Nick said, quickly refusing Elliot repaying him. "Any change?" Nick asked.

"She did a little talking this morning and we stepped outside on the atrium, but then she just went right back to sleep." He said looking at her as he stroked her hair out of her face. Nick watched him and couldn't help but see the love Elliot had for her. He hadn't been there all those years before Elliot left but he'd heard of how close they were. It's just to see it; Olivia meant the world to Elliot, there was no denying and though he wasn't exactly sure what had went down to get them at this crossroad he knew that Olivia knew her best friend was home and that he'd be there for her.

"She say anything about...?" But El was busy staring at Olivia and it took him a moment to answer.

"Uh no… she uh, I think she remembers she's just not addressing it...I think it's just safer for her right now to just…" Nick didn't have to say that he understood, Elliot knew and Nick just nodded his agreeance. How's Fin doin?"

"The doctors are still blown away, they don't know how he's alive but he is. He's been askin about Olivia but he knows you're with her so he's good." Elliot sat eating his sandwich and grinned.

"Sounds like Fin" he said.

"Fin's being a pain in the ass, the doctors are ready to throw him out!" He grinned.

"Well it's good; not that they wanna throw him out, that he's improved so much. When's he gettin out?" He asked with another bite of his sandwich.

"If there are no more issues, two weeks but of course You know Fin"

"Oh yeah! I remember he got shot a long time ago in a bodega robbery and it was pretty serious, that bullet nearly took him out but he signed out of the hospital a day later and went to work solving a case...that's Fin." The two mean sat and laughed then got quiet again. "Thanks again for the sandwich"

"No worries." The two men sat silently as Elliot drank a hearty sip of his coffee and they looked at Olivia sleeping.

Over at the hospital in Fin's room…

"Knock knock."

"Hey Amanda" Fin said with a smile.

"Still holdin on I see" she laughed kissing his head.

"Take more than that to take me down...I just wish they'd let me outta here" he said scratching at one of the tubes in his arm. "I have to see about Olivia"

"You are gonna stay your ass right where you are. Olivia's okay, Nick said that Elliot's taking real good care of her. She's comin back to us and so are you, you're not gonna rush it."

"Okay mom! ...so you wanna tell me why you haven't been up to see her? What happened to you?"

"I just...she...Fin I tried, alright? It's just, how many times am I supposed to look at her like I don't see the pain she carries? She came through Lewis and I don't care what she says, I know something more went on than what she said Fin she was broken, for months she just... She still wasn't past it but she was coping, both times"

"And she'll get through it this time. Maybe you're right, maybe there was more to the story about Billy but who cares? Amanda she needs us now and you can either step up or hide. It's been over well over a month, you gotta decide what side of the fence you're on." Amanda knew that he was right, her tears told her that he was but that there was more to it than that.

"Fin I messed up!"

"Messed up how?"

"I um..." Her tears suddenly got heavier as her cries got deeper until she couldn't talk and just sobbed.

"Manda; it's okay, talk to me!" He held her hand as she cried, wanting more than anything to hold her. "What's goin on with you?"

"I had...I had an abor- abortion two days ago..."

"I'm sorry"

"I'm not. I had to...it wasn't right, I...Fin the baby...it w-it was Cassidy's"

"Amanda..."

"It was a one time thing..." She wiped her eyes "right before we found Liv we just...that's what he and Nick argued about at the hospital. We never did it again until almost a week ago but the damage had already been done from that first night, I found out a couple days later. I knew I couldn't keep it so I didn't. I didn't discuss it with Cassidy, I didn't tell anyone, I just..."

"So why the tears?" Fin asked.

"Because...I was stupid with what I did and I realize now. I'm just glad it's over!"

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I just needed to get that out. I promise, I'll go to Liv...it's way past time. Anyway I'm pulling a double so...thanks for letting me dump on you" she said.

"Don't worry about it. I expect a report on your visit tomorrow." With a smile on her face she kissed his cheek.

"You got it, get some sleep." She said and walked out feeling ten loads lighter than when she got there.

"I can't believe that- Cassidy just took off; now?" Elliot said quite shocked.

"Yeah well that's him, but I'd rather not discuss his antics."

"No argument there!"

"So if you don't mind me asking, what happened with you two?" Elliot stopped and looked down at the floor then back up at Nick.

"Um, I shot a kid, couldn't get over it...she had shot 3 suspects, shot up the precinct...and she was gonna shoot Olivia."

"...and so you killed her?" Nick asked sorrowfully.

"I never actually admitted that to anyone before today...not even Olivia. After I killed her I went through... I can't even put into words. I had just everything... I uh, I had this assignment that the FBI wanted me to go on and I thought "why stay?" so I went and I didn't look back. If only I'd known that while I was out trying to save; she was here going through hell."

"You didn't know" Nick said

"I should've known, I should've been here"

"You're here now"

"I just wish I could go back. She never should've gone through any of it." A moment passed between the two where it became hard to say the words that were in the air and they once again found themselves staring at Olivia from across the room for a long moment.

"...you can ask me" Nick said in a somewhat reticent tone. "If you wanna know about Lewis...you can ask me" he told Elliot.

"I fought with myself a million times on that...I wanted to ask Fin, ask Cap; I even called Munch but I couldn't... It's her story and she has to be the one to tell it; or not. But it has to stay hers and I have to respect it."

"You're a lot different than I heard about, Stabler that's for sure."

"Chalk it up to 3 years with time to think...what'd you hear about me?"

"That you were a hothead among other things..." He said with a snicker.

"I'm still a hothead"

"Tell me about it. I'm sure that Doc character hasn't forgotten... You're good people. I thought all these years watching Olivia have to wean herself off you and then snap right back after Lewis; she wouldn't say it to anybody but Fin and I... She missed you bad and I wanted to kill you cuz you weren't here for her, especially having to relive it all during the trial. I'm just glad that you're here now, I'm glad I got to know you; even through the circumstances; you're a stand-up guy, I can see why Liv loves you so much!" He said and held out his hand as if to offer peace between the two. Elliot took his hand and shook it, a short hug ensuing.

"I appreciate that."

"Besides, leave again and you got a hit squad on your ass!" He said.

"Touché!"

As Amanda sat at her desk at the precinct playing catch up with some paperwork, she thought of what she said to Fin tonight and she thought of Olivia. Fin was right, it was time to stop making excuses and be there for her friend and she hasn't been a very good friend to Olivia as of late she practically checked out from day 1 and she hated herself for it, she hated herself even more for the way she let things go down with Brian. Sure, the first time no one could blame them, they were both grieving and needed someone not when she thinks of the fact that she willingly went back a second time and did it again and that she was unaware that he'd gotten her pregnant - not exactly like they were careful, hell they were anything but. She basically lay there while he fucked her without protection twice, and not only that but she'd begged for him to come inside her. She needed to feel him this way, but a baby?

"You're so stupid!" She said to herself, scolding. Brian, though he has issues "ha, issues Amanda!" But he loves Olivia if you can call it that; still, it was wrong of her. Thank god she got rid of that baby, it would only have brought her problems that right now she really didn't need, the first of which being Brian and she didn't want to deal with him telling her she needed to abort it. This way everyone's happy and she would definitely be ending things with him when she saw him again. Right now she was just gonna focus her attention on Liv and not think about anything else. She actually couldn't wait for tomorrow.

At the Freed estate in the Hamptons, Bronwyn was coming in to check on Harlan before retiring to bed for the night, but stopped to have a look at herself in her bedroom mirror. She was dressed in a long, sheer gown with sleeves that draped as long as the gown itself and the gown hung from her shoulders. With nothing on beneath it she left nothing to the imagination and that's exactly what she was going for as she would seduce Harlan again tonight except could one actually call it seducing if the intended target was in a constant state of unconsciousness?

Satisfied that she looked good, she made her way out of her room and across the hall to Harlan's. She had been doing this excitingly for the past 5 days since the first time and she couldn't wait to get to him. Earlier she had met with her PI who kept tabs on Olivia and was happy to know that she was still in the mental hospital but getting better after only a week. As usual he gave her pictures, she was so happy to see that Olivia was steadily growing with William. She was so much more round now and though he couldn't see it, Harlan could hear as she described it and she knew that he was thrilled to know that his son was coming along well and she hung that picture along with every other she'd had taken of Olivia on the wall in his bedroom so that he could see them when he woke up.

She entered the room and notified the nurse on duty that she would be taking over for some time. Betty, the nurse thought she was completely nuts and wondered just what she would be doing in that getup but she figured it couldn't be too bad and besides, with the money Bronwyn was paying her, who cared?

"I'll need you close in case my Harlan has trouble so just have a seat in the hall."

"Yes ma'am!" Betty said as she left the room, Bronwyn getting excited.

"Harlan...darling do you like what I wore for you tonight? I tried to imagine something that would get you excited...what do you think?" She asked as she twirled for him, the thought never registering that he can't see her.

"Do you like the picture I took of your son?" She asked while she came close to him and slid a hand to his crotch. "He looks well inside Olivia doesn't he?" No accounting for the fact that it was a picture of Olivia caught off guard and standing beside Elliot as they took a walk on the grounds outside or that she was standing so close to him like she was afraid that her own shadow might get her. In Bronwyn's eyes she was merely a vessel that was carrying the prize.

"He's getting so big...soon it won't be hard to see him. Don't worry my love, I'll get her and I'll bring her somewhere that she can stay until our son can be delivered and then lights out for her... Now, let's take a break from Olivia and have some quality time...and our baby loves it when you're inside me" she said as she stroked him to a hard on "so let's make that happen." She said and climbed on top, so excited, she didn't notice Harlan's hand twitch and ball into a fist.

"So Munch bought the giant bear...and about 50 bouquets of flowers"

"Munch? Old guy, skinny, glasses?" Nick laughed as they sat on the couch by the window.

"The one and only." Elliot grinned.

"Wow...so that's where all this came from? I just...he spent money!"

"Can you believe it?"

"No. Ah man, I'd better get going, supposed to be on a double tonight with Amanda. I'll swing by tomorrow if I get some time."

"Liv would like that" Elliot said as Nick got up to leave. "You know... Thanks"

"For what?"

"Looking out for her"

"I just...it's nothin. You do what you gotta do for the people you love." He said then went to Liv and looked at her for a moment before turning to Elliot. "Goodnight El"

"Night" and Nick Left he and Olivia alone as Elliot thought of what Nick said and smiled then stepped out of the room for a moment to make a phone call. He was in the hall for about 20 minutes and when he came in he decided to get some sleep since Olivia would probably be out for the night and he headed to the chair to get comfortable when he heard a tiny voice.

"El" He turned around to see that Olivia was sitting up in bed.

"I have to pee"

"Come on, I'll help you up." He said and approached the bed, taking her hand in his and leading g her towards the bathroom. "...you okay?"

"I'm okay... El?"

"Yeah?" he asked as they walked towards the bathroom.

"I'm hungry." When she said that he smiled.

"You're hungry?" He asked as he stood at the door and she nodded. At that moment he never thought she looked more beautiful than she did standing there in her hospital gown with her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail and he had tears in his eyes as he spoke.

"Okay...yeah, I'll get some food, what do you want?"

"Can we have Chinese?" Her words were unexpected and he got choked up.

"Yeah...we can have Chinese." He said as he fought his tears.

.

Aren't I sweet letting Fin live?