I could blame the long wait on the story not wanting to be written or fighting me, but the truth is I've been lazy and didn't want to write a lazy story so I waited until I wasn't and now here we are. Regular updates from now on, I promise. Dick Wolf owns. Enjoy.

.

Another 2 weeks passed before she left the hospital in much better health than when she went in. She had opened up a bit and talked to the therapist on site but it was having Elliot there that got her through. She leaned on him heavily, slowly learning to trust him again and so thankful that he was here for her. She never would be able to thank Fin for letting him in when she pushed him away; right now she needed her best friend and thanks to Fin she had him.

When she began feeling like she wasn't so vulnerable she insisted that Elliot go home to get some sleep; those were the nights that she laid awake thinking about her future and where exactly the baby fit into it. She was almost 5 months pregnant and time wasn't something she had a lot of; neither was indecisiveness.

In the back of her mind, she'd known the minute that Dr. Aimes had put that sonogram machine in her hand.

"...the baby looks good…would you like to hear the heartbeat?"

She knew that she should have said no, knew that she was too far down an emotional hole but she didn't listen to her head, didn't listen to reason when it told her this was a bad idea. Like always, she listened to her heart and her heart was telling her that this baby was hers to love regardless of circumstance, they'd survived this ordeal together and so it was with her eyes full of tears that she nodded a simple yes.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure" Olivia said and blew out a deep, nervous breath as Dr. Aimes handed her the tiny monitor. One look at the image of the tiny little person on the screen, the tiny little person inside her and the emotion began stirring; emotion that quadrupled when Dr. Aimes turned up the volume and the sound of the tiny beating heart filled the room. Olivia watched and listened for a long moment, trying to fight the tears that stung her eyes while biting back her sobs.

"Heartbeat's strong…you have a very healthy 12 week fetus" She shoved the monitor back into Dr. Aimes' hand and grabbed the paper towel beside her to wipe the gel from her stomach, pushing the doctor's hand away.

She'd freaked out then but still she knew, even when she didn't that she had no choice in the matter, she knew then that she loved this baby but she was so unsure about it. She felt guilty for loving anything that he'd put into place; her baby would be a Lewis and that was just too much to think about. Now that she'd been given time however, it's all she thought about and it's what she said to the therapist. "I feel like this baby needs me; not just to house it and grow it but to love it. I mean, who understands better than me what it's gonna be like growing up this way? I think I'm… am I crazy for wanting to keep it?"

...

During those days, she and El got to talk about a lot of things; why he left being one of the more salient issues. He didn't hold back anything, telling her all there was.

"All this time; I thought…" She was in tears at his confession. All the years she'd gone on thinking that he'd just pulled the cord on them, that she had somehow come to mean nothing in the 12 years they'd been together… "that I meant nothing to you and I didn't understand…"

"No...there was never a moment where I didn't think of you, where I didn't hope you were ok, hope that my leaving didn't…"

"Scar me?" When she said that he grew quiet. "Elliot, three years without you yet I never learned to live without you; if that gives you any idea."

"If I could go back…"

"You'd do what, make yourself miserable?"

"But I'd be there"

"You had your own problems to work on and I understand that."

"I could've taken care of you...taken care of-"

"Don't say it. Please don't say that name, don't…"

"I'm sorry" He apologized as he pulled her to him and held her tighter than he even knew, but there in his arms she felt so safe.

...

Fin was probably the biggest help of all during her hospital stay. Though he couldn't be there he'd constantly be on the phone with her, talking her through when he could. He was the voice of reason through a lot and those times when he couldn't; Elliot and Nick were always right there and sometimes even Amanda.

She kept her word to Fin that she would reach out and she had. She realized that she had been silly to think that it anything would matter except being there for Olivia. Harlan or Lewis or Brian - none of it mattered more than seeing that Olivia would get back to herself and that was the point of focus, nothing else.

Going forward when Olivia was deemed healthy enough to be released from the hospital, it was Elliot and Nick who saw to it that she got home and settled. Nick stayed for a while but then had to get back to work and he left Olivia with Elliot, promising that Amanda would be by later after work.

When he was gone, Elliot locked the door then came back to the living room to sit with Olivia on the sofa and was surprised that she seemed to be lost somewhere in her own head as she sat deep in thought.

"Olivia…" He called softly. She immediately looked up from her absent stare out the window as she felt a pain in her back.

"I was just…"

"Not getting caught up in negative thoughts I hope" he said as he sat beside her but leaving space between them.

"It's hard not to, considering…" she said looking down at her bump.

"I know. Your doctor said talking about it-"

"It's so much easier with Fin"

"I'm sorry"

"It's not...I didn't mean…" She said

"Liv, it's okay; I get it" she nodded nervously as a long silence settled between them.

"I um; you once told me that no matter how I decided to become a mother…"

"...I'd support you; and I will." He knew, and she knew that he knew or at least suspected about her pregnancy; it wasn't that easy to hide anymore but today it just felt right in telling him, so why was she crying as she sat up and looked at him?

"El I'm pregnant. I know you probably knew but I am; Harlan um...he um…" She broke down and sobbed.

"Liv, it's okay" he said, though everything in him wanted to dig up that man's corpse and kill him again for this torment that Olivia was going through but unable to do that, he reached out and hugged her. She allowed him to embrace her for a moment and then quickly pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"I'm four and a half months and" gently touching her stomach "I um, I'm gonna keep it!" she said as she wiped more tears from her eyes and blew out a sigh of relief that she was able to finally get the words out and tell someone else. With the words came an unfamiliar pain, deep in her abdomen but she ignored it and shifted to relieve it. Elliot noticed her discomfort but figured it must be a common pregnancy pain if she ignored it and he carried on with the conversation.

"You're sure about this?"

"I don't know...but this baby, it deserves a chance." She cried. "It's funny because I always thought that if it came down to it, I'd know that I wanted to get rid of it. I'm a child of rape and I'd never want to inflict that on a baby but here I am and I don't know, maybe I'm completely doing the wrong thing but I just feel like it; he or she deserves a chance. El, I'm so-" there was a discomforting look on her face as the pain returned. Elliot didn't ignore it this time and gently put a hand to her shoulder as he questioned her.

"Liv; you okay?"

"I don't know…" She grimaced as the pain got worse "Ahhh… El something's wrong!

...

He wasted no time in getting her to the hospital where she was quickly admitted with premature labor pains. The doctor did an ultrasound to see just how far along she was, telling her in the process that the baby was small for its age. When Olivia told her that she hasn't had any prenatal care, she went straight to lecturing Olivia about why, reminding her of all the things that could go wrong, especially at the age.

"I…" She started, crying not just from the pain but the question. Elliot, wanting to spare her from having to relive it yet again pulled the doctor off to the side and told her that Olivia had been raped and the baby had been conceived from it leaving the doctor feeling embarrassed.

"Ms. Benson, I didn't… I'm sorry." The doctor apologized earnestly.

"Please, just don't let me lose...oh god!" Olivia cried as she pain returned. She quickly grabbed Elliot's hand and squeezed her eyes shut trying to cope with it.

"I promise, we'll do everything we can." she said before she left.

"Just breathe." Elliot said calmly.

"It hurts!"

"This is nothing, wait till the real thing comes!" He smiled, trying to bring some light to the situation and got a slight smile in return before she started to cry.

"What if this is the real thing? Babies don't survive this early!" She cried into his arms.

In the Hamptons at the Freed estate, Bronwyn had arrived and found the nurse and doctor excited beyond belief when she'd arrived, the nurse greeting her at the car just charged and couldn't wait to get her inside.

"I got here as fast as I could considering the circumstances...what's so urgent?" Bronwyn questioned as she walked inside the foyer to the house and removed her raincoat. It had been pouring in the city since yesterday and the rain had now reached the Hamptons.

"Oh Miss Fre..." the nurse started

"It's…" Bronwyn began to correct her.

"...Mrs. Lewis; I'm sorry." The young nurse apologized, she was just so eager to tell Bronwyn the news. "I didn't want to tell you while you were on your way here"

"Tell me what?" Bronwyn said as she and the nurse were on their way up the left side of the grand, marble staircase.

"He's awake!"

The days seemed to go on and on into one big nightmare for Doc. Between being beaten and raped, he thought that he would never see his way out of it, having nothing with which to bargain with the DA anymore...they'd found his little secret; the graves where he and Harlan had buried those women and Ashley...the grave where they intended to bury Olivia; god he hadn't been so obsessed with anybody since his daughter! He liked to imagine that Ashley would have been much like her if she had lived; the long legs, the full breasts, the breathy voice…the way she took him, took them all. God that was one hell of a woman! He thought. Olivia being what got him through these tough times. He could just imagine himself back there in that room, giving it to her. Imagine her mouth as it screamed no, her ass as it…

"Taylor, you got visitors! Let's go!" The guards said roughly. Leave it to them to disturb a man when he was at peace and enjoying himself!

"Is it my lawyer?"

"No, now get on your feet!"

When he got down to the visitation room, he paused as he looked over at the thick glass that separated the visitors from the inmates and he was thankful that it existed as he spotted his son sitting there and looking so angry. He quickly swallowed as he made his way over to the seat and took a moment before he lifted the phone.

"Sam…"

"I debated coming here...I told myself that I was done with you after what you did to Sergeant Benson. I thought that you had hit your lowest, most disgusting point...but then, on the sheriff's property, they found Ashley..."

"Son, I didn't…"

"Please..." Sam said with teary eyes that were saddened. "Please don't do this. Please don't look me in the eye and lie to my face again; please just don't when we both...what did you do to her?"

"I don't know what you're tal-" he lied.

"You don't know what I'm talking about...she was four-teen! Fourteen years old and she didn't just bury herself in that barn; If you have the slightest bit of humanity left, you tell me what you did to her!"

Doc looked at his son who sat before him crying, so saddened at finding out that the sister he loved so much has been buried; simply discarded carelessly to preserve a secret and though Doc felt bad, he couldn't do it. He wouldn't confess. It was his story to the cops that he didn't know Harlan had buried those bodies just like it was his story that Harlan forced him with Olivia and they only reason he had gone to her hospital room that day was out of fear. No, he had a plan to beat all of this and he wouldn't give up now, so when he took one last look at his son and swore to him that it was a mistake that he had nothing to do with, he was determined to stick with it. Sam just sat there, shocked that his father would deny it, even now.

"I hope you die in this place!" Sam said before he got up and walked away.

"I'm at Liv's place, I thought you said she was here" Amanda said to a confused Nick through the phone.

"She should be; you know what, she's probably getting a nap, did you try calling?"

"Yeah, I got the machine." She said.

"I'll call Stabler, I'm sure she's probably out with him" he said more hoping than actually sure.

"Liv, out?"

"I'll call you back!" panicking, he hung up while Amanda was too.

"God please…" She prayed and decided that she'd wait by the door for Nick's call, just in case.

"I'm glad you called, I was about to call you" Elliot said quietly into the phone. While the doctor was in with Olivia, he ducked out into the hall to answer his phone.

"What's going on? Amanda is at Liv's place and she's not there!" Nick said.

"That's because she's in the hospital"

"Wait, what do you-"

"She was having premature labor pains but we got to Mercy; thank god the doctor has them slowed down!"

"Is she alright?"

"Good as can be expected. The thing is I got a call about somewhere I need to be and she's insisting that I go but I can't leave her."

"It's okay, I'm on my way. Give me 10 minutes!"

Inside Olivia's building, Amanda was just ending a call with Nick.

"Alright, I'll come by after work. And Nick, tell her I'm thinking of her." She hung up after that. Nick didn't say the reason she was hospitalized, just that it was nothing serious and he was on his way there; he also asked her not to tell Fin so that he wouldn't get excited. He was already looking at another 2 weeks in the hospital after he'd had a tear to his artery wall and they didn't want to aggravate it further.

Amanda put the phone away and was walking towards the elevator when the doors opened and Brian stepped off carrying flowers.

"Brian...I didn't...how are you?" She stammered. "You're back"

"Yeah I...ya know, I'm good thanks for asking" he answered. He was still quite uneasy around Amanda, not knowing what to make of what was.

"Uh, if you're comin to see Liv, she's not there" she said gesturing back to the apartment. A look of disappointment washed over him.

"Where is she?"

"Hospital. It's nothing serious according to Nick but he's there with her...I should get goin" she said and turned to walk away.

"Hey uh, if you wanna go for a drink…"

"I can't; I'm on the clock...maybe another time." But the she turned back to face him "or maybe not at all." She said suddenly.

"I thought we were good"

"We were it's just...look I really need to get my head together ya know and I...I just can't; I'm sorry!" When she backed away, taking the staircase instead, he had a confused look about him but he didn't put too much into it and he left with the flowers.

"This is like a miracle!" Bronwyn said again, still not believing that her Harlan had woken up. He was present, here with her and she was filled with so much joy. "Thank the lord!" Although he hadn't yet spoken or moved, she knew it was just a matter of time though right now he just looked at her all weird while he sat up in bed, his eyes following the doctor and her.

"Thank modern medicine" the doctor quipped. "Though it truly is amazing! You'd given him so much of that drug we didn't think he'd wake up- ever!"

"What do you want, I'm not a chemist; he's alive isn't he?" she said as she wiped Harlan's mouth of the drool that had escaped. "And you're sure he'll be okay?"

"I've checked, he seems perfectly normal. Right now I'd say it's just a matter of when!" He said, neither of them aware that Harlan could not only hear but understand them and he was biding his time until he was up and around again. He had a score to settle!

"I'm on a roll; out of the psych ward and into the maternity ward…" Olivia said weakly from her hospital bed. The contractions had all but stopped, one coming every half hour or so and she was beyond thankful as she lay there with the fetal monitor attached, listening to the heartbeat.

"I still can't get over it; you're gonna have a baby!" Nick said, still in shock. He had known about it but like Elliot it was a whole other thing to hear it come from Olivia herself.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing but…" She said as she caressed her bump at the top of her swell. The way she loved that baby was already so evident. "I have to try"

"You're gonna do great."

"I'm just worried that maybe you all won't accept-"

"Put that out of your mind. I know I for one, love you and I'm gonna love this baby; I think we all will." He said and squeezed her hand.

"I'm just...I have to deal with the rapes and this baby and possibly losing her…"

"You said her"

"The doctor said it's a girl." She said. "I'm having a daughter. I mean it happened to my mom and now me...what if"

"Don't. This baby is a new start!"

"My father got away with what he did to my mother just like Harlan gets away with what he did to me. He gets to lie peaceful in a box just like his son. He'll never answer for what he did to me, he'll never pay… I'm just glad that I sent him out the way I did. I hope he burns in hell!"

At the Freed estate, Bronwyn had just rolled off of Harlan after riding him for dear life and now she lay beside him in all her nude glory, talking.

"I'm really glad that we can be together like this my love." She said and kissed him. "The baby loves that he can feel his daddy so close."

Baby?

"I was thinking we could name him after my father since Olivia will have Harlan William...or maybe we could just name her child William and I can use Harlan."

Tell me I did not impregnate this cow! He thought and closed his eyes to the horror while Bronwyn continued going on and on.

"I've been keeping tabs on Olivia just like I said I would"

Olivia? That got his eyes open.

"She's got the baby still inside...William is growing just beautifully!"

My boy

"You'll see them soon enough when I bring them here...just a few months and everything will be ready and no one will suspect."

This heifer sure thinks like me, if nothing else, I'll give her that!

"Olivia will get here in time, but right now…" she turned and hovered over his penis. "I took.a class, how about I try it out on an actual person?" She said and went down on him.

Well it ain't all bad!

.

More to come. No twitter spoilers please.