Back with chapter 47. As I said in the last chapter, I deleted chapter 38 (which was just a note that I put in) so now everything from chapter 39 has been pushed back but you haven't lost anything. Okay, now that that's said, here we are. Dick Wolf owns the SVU characters and I own mine.

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His reveal to Amaro and Fin had gone surprisingly well considering that neither of them trusted him. This he knew, but he was determined that he would fix that; he just had to shut Bronwyn up and get her off his back for good but how? It was chance that she'd decided to call his bluff about the recordings and it just so happened that his phone hadn't been recording that conversation like he'd thought and though Bronwyn hadn't called him in about a week since making that initial phone call, he knew it was just a matter of time. He couldn't win for losing and he had to quit losing before it was too late!

"Amanda, I'm tellin you now, if that man has done anything to hurt you…" Fin vowed, referring to Collins as he removed his coat and sat in the back booth of the bar.

"Relax Fin, Darrell's bein a perfect gentleman." She said and took a swig from her bottle. "You want a beer?"

"Nah, I'm on the clock… come to think of it, you're on the clock."

"I needed it" She said, taking another hearty sip.

"Uh oh, what happened?"

"Cassidy's momma happened, that's what!"

"The visit didn't go well?"

"The visit went fine until she told me that Brian told her about what happened between us"

"He did what?"

"...apparently the man tells his momma everything!"

"And somehow I'm not surprised."He said and took her beer, taking a sip. "Tell me, how did that go over?"

"We need a lot more beer to get through that!" She told him then turned and signaled the waitress.

She sat in the kitchen early morning in her tank and leggings, sipping ginger ale for her nausea while she read the paper and she couldn't help but think of Brian and the last conversation they had. It was so angry; she was so angry that she wanted to hurt him.

But not like this. She thought, referring to both the situation he was in as well as her own hurt at the situation with Amanda. She thought about when he'd come to her when she was in the hospital in Pennsylvania and all the times he'd come in the last few months. He knew what he'd done and still he acted like it was nothing. Then of course, there was Amanda; or he and Amanda. She wanted to confront her but when she thought about it; and she thought about it all night, she realized that although she was hurt, in reality she had no right to be mad. She and Brian weren't in a relationship; she had put an end to that the night after they slept together, so why did this bother her so much? Maybe because they both lied to me!

"Good morning!" Elliot said as he came into the kitchen in sweats and immediately went and put his arms around her.

"Good morning!" She smiled, turning her head to kiss him.

"Sleep okay?" He asked as he rubbed her belly with one hand while the other picked up her ginger ale and took a sip.

"I've been up since 5; between not being able to get comfortable, heartburn, backache and her moving and kicking; sleep did not come easy."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"No sense in us both being tired" She said just when the baby began kicking and she put a hand over her belly, rubbing it slowly in hopes of calming her. "god, I'm so big!"

"You're not that big" he said smiling.

"You suck at lying!" She laughed as she got up and made her way to the sink with her glass. "I missed you last night."

"You know, there's a solution to that..."

"A) that involves the stairs" Elliot laughed "and B) we talked about this El, I'm not ready to move into your bedroom yet."

"Tell your mommy she's being silly." He said to the baby; his hands lovingly caressing Olivia's belly and she gave a half laugh. "Still thinking about it?"

"is it that obvious?"

"Olivia, you're not gonna get over it until you talk with her."

"And say what? I can't even think straight with this latest sentencing coming up and then the baby is taking up what's left of my brain… Maybe it's best to just let it go." When Elliot got a confused look on his face, she wasted no time in asking him about it. "What?"

"I...you're letting it go?"

"Sometimes it doesn't do any good to fight."

"It doesn't?"

"No, it doesn't. I'm hurt; they both lied to me but it's in the past. I can't exactly put it all on Amanda and if Brian ever wakes up… it just seems silly to argue; I don't need to revisit this." Elliot was about to say something when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it"

"Let me, I could use the walk." She said as she left the kitchen. Arriving at the door, she saw a man with a ponytail on the other side. Immediately she stopped cold where she was standing and her feet wouldn't move as she sank into a memory.

"Afraid he can't hear ya darlin!" she heard a voice say but it wasn't the voice she was expecting and her heart began beating even faster. "I can see why he was so obsessed" Harlan said as he reached out and caressed Olivia's tear stained cheek and she recoiled from his touch...

She stood there as the man stood looking through the glass at the top of the door and continuing to ring the doorbell but she was unmoved. Finally, Elliot came out of the kitchen, and when he saw Olivia standing there...

"Olivia?" He asked softly; nervously. Almost instantaneously she snapped out of it and when she looked at him, then at the man outside, she began apologizing.

"I'm sorry!"

"It's okay; stay here." He said as he headed for the door and she stood back as he opened it. "Can I help you?" He asked the man outside on the stoop.

"Hi, I'm looking for uh… oh yeah, Olivia Benson..." He said, chewing gum and bopping to the beat in his large headphones that were around his neck. Olivia got a better look at him, seeing a young man, not older than twenty from the looks of it and suddenly she felt silly for her reaction.

"I'm…" A quick clearing of her throat as she approached the door. She was careful however to remain behind Elliot. "I'm Olivia Benson."

The young man stood there, staring at her chest in awe. She quickly realized she wasn't wearing a bra and pulled her sweater closed while Elliot got mad and yelled at the kid.

"Hey! Eyes up here you moron!" He said, snapping his fingers.

"Oh… Right… Um, Olivia Nip- Benson…" She looked at him before looking at Elliot then back at him and rolled her eyes. "Here; I mean, you've been served!" He said and stood smiling at her as she took the paper he was holding and walked into the living room reading it. "Hey, is she always at attention like that, I mean, woo!" He said grinning heartily. Elliot got angrier and slammed the door in his face then went to the living room.

"Liv…"

She laughed to herself, angrily and dropped her hand that was holding the paper to her side. "Looks like the sentencing isn't the only reason I'll be in court."

"What are you talking about?"

"She's petitioning to get a paternity test." She said angrily and began pacing the room while she nervously rubbed her belly.

"Brian's mom? Well, I mean, that's what you wanted isn't it? A paternity test for him?"

"I didn't want her involved." She said quietly. "I didn't tell you everything about when we went to Staten Island."

"Meaning?"

"She's suing for custody, same as Brian would have if Serena turned out to be his!"

"What?"

"And if she wins…"

"Hold off on the 'ifs'. we don't even know that she's his"

"How am I supposed to do that? El, what if it comes back that she's his and Joanie makes good on her promise? With everything I've been through; Lewis, his father…"

"Liv stop!" He said and put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing.

"I could lose her, El!" She cried as she sorrowfully looked at him.

"You are not going to lose her! I made a promise to you when Brian threatened to take her away, and I'll promise you now; no one will get their hands on this little one to take her away from you!"

Three weeks later...

In the Hamptons, Bronwyn had gone to check on Harlan to make sure that he was sleeping; albeit uncomfortably so that she could get to the contractors that were waiting on her in the basement.

Last night he was running a temperature of 103 in addition to vomiting and then spitting up large amounts of phlegm before he passed out had to clean it up while grumbling. ...it's okay, he gets better and he's out of here! She told herself, although unrealistically, but it was the thought that mattered and at the time she thought.

"And this room, it's soundproof, correct?" Bronwyn asked as she took inventory of the now completed area. The men had just finished putting in the furniture after painting and Bronwyn was quite pleased with the way things looked.

"Yes ma'am, fully soundproof." The construction worker said. "All I need is for you to sign and we're done."

"You don't know how much I appreciate this" She said as she signed the receipt on the clipboard 'Lucy Rogers'. "It's really beautiful!"

"We take our work seriously."

"So I see." And she handed him an envelope that was full of money as the last two men cleared out. "Thank you again."

"Thank you, Ms. Rogers!" He said and left, leaving Bronwyn in the just completed space. She looked around at the freshly painted walls; a beautiful lavender. She'd read that the color was very calming and that was important, to keep the mother calm. After all, she'd be spending quite a bit of time here. The only thing she was worried about was the fact that she was forced to build the room here, after she'd already repurposed the one at her home in Manhattan but who was she kidding? Those rooms couldn't be used, how would she even get her in the house without drawing attention? Out here it was nice and quiet and empty at this time of year, all she had to do was slip her past Harlan and she'd be set.

She was also happy that her hearing was in a week and Olivia wouldn't be around for it. She figured with her not showing up, she'd have a very good chance of getting off, not realizing that she was already done for. The cops and case Judge in Pennsylvania were still looking for blood and she was next in line to be drained unless her team of lawyers could pull a miracle.

Brian's mother had gotten him transferred to a hospital closer to home and she still wouldn't allow Olivia anywhere near him even in spite of the paternity test. She really believed that whatever happened to him was Olivia's fault and she wouldn't budge on that. Now a month after finding Brian in the hospital, he still made no progress in his condition and in fact, it had gone downhill over the last couple of weeks.

His brain function had remained, though lessened since he'd begun having seizures two weeks ago. He'd had seven of them since they started; each one leaving him with less and less, the latest one this morning and the doctors worried that his next one could kill him.

"You have to wake up soon baby…" His mother said as she sat by his bedside. She'd been by his side everyday except when they'd gone to court and prayed for him to wake up though it did no good. He was deteriorating fast but his mother refused to see it.

I need you to please bring Olivia mom, Harlan is out there, he's not dead! Why can't anyone hear me?

"You don't have to worry, the paternity test will be back any time now and I swear to you, I'll get that baby if it's yours and raise her right. That woman doesn't deserve to have your child."

This isn't why I wanted custody. I only meant to give her time to get things together… God why is she doing this? Why won't anyone listen to me? He's out there!

"It's okay. You rest, sweet boy." She said, stroking his hair. "Momma's gonna handle everything." She promised with a kiss to his head.

"Man, it's freezing out there!" Fin said as he and Nick entered the squad room.

"Good thing I'm stuck inside!" Amanda laughed.

"Yeah, go ahead and brag!" Nick said.

"Hey, you're the one who let me slip on black ice!"

"Never gonna let me forget that, are you? How's your foot?"

"Well, I should get the brace off by Monday so…" she put up a finger as her phone rang "Special victims unit, Detective Rollins speaking. Yes…" Amaro turned to Fin

"Ay, you got the Aroyos file?"

"Yeah, right here!" Fin said, giving Amaro the file from his desk. "Though I don't know what you expect to find; I been over it a million times."

"I know, that's why I'm gonna have Liv take a look at it."

"Now why didn't I think of that?"

"Cuz you're not me!" Nick laughed, causing Fin to smile. Just then, Murphy came out of the office'

"Amaro; got a minute?" When Nick went into the office, Fin was about to get up when Amanda finished her phone call.

"I think Olivia knows" She said, low key.

"Knows what?"

"About me and…" She looked around the room before she continued. "...Cassidy"

"Did she say somethin?"

"That's just it; she didn't but…"

"But what? Look, Liv is pretty straightforward, if she knew…"

"The old Liv was pretty straightforward, this new Liv...Fin, she knows."

"This is why I hate that you told me. I don't want the responsibility that comes with knowin everybody's secrets… What makes you think she knows?"

"I've been around her three times in the last month, and every time, she started to say something to me but she pulls back."

"That doesn't mean anything. She's like that now."

"Fin…" She let off a sigh of frustration. "Mrs. Cassidy must have said something to her. It's the only way."

"Look, if you feel that strongly about it, and obviously you do, or you wouldn't be sittin here talking to me; go to Olivia and tell her the truth, make it right."

"And what if I make it worse?"

"Then you live with it but at least you'll have your cards on the table!" He said, then walked away as she sat debating her options.

"Sergeant Benson"

"Yes your honor?"

"I see here that you've already had an amniocentesis performed with a paternity screening for this pregnancy?"

"Yes your honor."

"Then there wouldn't be any invasive procedures performed on the fetus since there already is a test on record. I'm ruling in favor of Mrs. Cassidy…

Two weeks ago and she could still see the smug look on Joanie's face as the judge made his ruling.

"Damn her!" She thought. She kept telling herself to remember what Elliot said; Joanie wouldn't gain custody. "Unless the test comes back that this is Brian's baby and that bitch..." She said to herself as the doorbell rang and she struggled to get up from where she sat on the sofa, folding clothes.

"Look at you, you're huge!" Barba said to Olivia with a kiss to her cheek as she arrived at the door and opened it. "How have you not tipped over?"

"Don't remind me."" She said and ran her hand over her massive belly. "Come on in." She sat down with his help once they got to the living room and went back to folding the baby clothes that had just come out of the dryer.

"No more knitting?"

"Gave up on it." She laughed. "So…"

"We have news"

"Lemme guess, the lawyer and the banker; they wanna stop this insanity and plead out?" She said and kept folding.

"I said we had news, not a miracle. Unfortunately the smug bastards are still hoping to get themselves off though I don't know how. Olivia, the cop he killed himself." There was a slight pause, her seeming unaffected by the news and kept folding. "The prison called me this morning; he uh, he left a letter for you." She suddenly stopped cold.

"I don't want it."

"I figured you wouldn't. But, I am legally obligated to give it to you so…" He took the sealed letter from his briefcase and handed it to her but she wouldn't even look at it.

"Is that all you wanted? Cuz I have a ton of things to get to today…"

Sitting the letter on the coffee table, he got up. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'm gonna be fine, I just don't want to read a letter professing how sorry he was since he had time to think. I heard enough of it at the sentencing hearings and I don't need to hear more. I'm over it. So if you could take that with you and throw it out, or burn it; whatever you do with it, just- I don't want it."

"You're sure?"

"Beyond. Trust me, I don't need it!" She said and went back to folding while Rafael sat there staring at her with a huge smile on his face. "What?"

"I'm just glad to see you're moving on; I know it took a lot but I'm glad to see it. So, you want some company until Elliot gets back? Speaking of, where is he?"

"Another meeting at the bureau; He's gonna be going back to work after the baby comes, so…"

"What about you? You given any thought to-"

"Actually I uh, I met with the commissioner yesterday." She said, still folding. A long, silent moment passed and finally, he spoke after the realization hit him and he collected himself.

"You're not coming back, are you?" He said with impromptu tears that quickly made their way down his face. She shook her head giving a somber 'no'.

"Too much has happened and I just… I can't do the job anymore. Reagan wants me to wait until June to make it official; my 20 is up and my full pension kicks in."

"You're really leaving?"

"Yeah; it's best." She said and wiped her tears. "I haven't told the guys yet, so…"

"No worries." He said and wiped his eyes. "So what are you going to do?"

"For now, I'm gonna raise my daughter, be the best mom I can and continue therapy."

"And career wise? If there's a career wise?"

"I don't know. I have a law degree that I got to satisfy my mother when I was younger and never used; maybe I'll finally take the bar, or be a crisis counselor. I haven't really decided; maybe I'll do nothing!"

He sat for a moment, looking at her and so full of emotion. "I'm gonna hang out here for a little while, you don't look like you'd make it to the door again to lock up after I left!" He said with a grin on his face to hide the tears that was quickly replaced by laughter when a sleeper flew across the room and covered his face then slid down onto his lap.

"Hey Fin?" Darrell said as they were driving back to a the precinct in the middle of the day. After he and Amanda told the brass that they were seeing each other, they got off easy and were not allowed to be partners or do any work on the same cases. They were waiting on Darrell's transfer to Brooklyn SVU and felt that it was fair considering how hard they could have come down on them, they were both grateful.

"Yeah Collins?" Fin said as he sipped coffee on the way.

"Let's say hypothetically you had someone blackmailing you and you had no leverage to get out of it…" Fin sat looking at him. "Not for me!"

"Uh huh! Well let me ask you a question hypothetically what would this person be blackmailing you with? Hypothetically!"

"I can't say really, being that it's just a hypothetical you dig?"

"Yeah, I dig." Fin said. He didn't trust this cat as far as he could throw him but he played Darrell's supposition game and answered him anyway. "If it were me, I'd tell this person to hell with them!"

"But what if that didn't work? Let's say this person was threatening someone you loved? ...hypothetically."

"Darrell, imma ask you, is it somethin I need to know?"

Tell anybody about this, and I'll make it happen even faster than you ever thought possible… "No. Like I said; it's just a hypothetical!" He said and forced a smile while they drove on but the truth was, he needed help and fast!"

Later at Amanda's place, Olivia had just come in and sat down.

"Can I get you somethin?" Amanda asked.

"No, I'm fine. Besides, I think you'd be better keeping off that foot. How's it doing?"

"It's actually pretty much healed; I'm gettin the brace off on Monday so…"

"That's good"

"Yeah… Um, I wanted to um… This is harder than I thought." She said, fidgeting with her hands. Olivia just sat on the sofa, with her hands on her belly.

"It helps to breathe."

"I guess it does. Liv; the reason I asked you over… Has Brian's momma said anything to you about...anything?" Olivia shook her head, amused as she was hurt at the situation before she spoke.

"You mean about you and Brian? No, she didn't."

"Then how'd you-?"

"That day you went to visit him; you accidentally pocket dialed me and I heard…"

"Oh god! Liv, I'm so…"

"Save it." She said with a hand up. "Please. I've been going over it in my head and while I realize that I had no claim to Brian when it must have happened, I'm curious just how it happened? When?" Amanda looked at her with tears in her eyes that she fought not to cry and she spoke softly.

"The night before we found you. He, I don't know, we were commiserating over how much he was missing you and it just happened. We never had any feelings, it was just; we reached out in a moment and that was that." She said when the door suddenly opened and in walked Darrell. Both Olivia and she looked at him when he entered, Amanda wiping her eyes.

"Amanda, I really need to- oh, Sergeant Benson. I didn't know you were here; how are you?" He said.

"I'm doing okay, and please, it's Olivia." She said with a smile while simultaneously feeling nervous and rubbing her belly as she needed something to do with her hands. She didn't mean to but she still didn't know Darrell and like with all men she didn't know, a flag went up whenever he was around.

"Olivia...I'll remember that." He smiled genuinely. "Getting close I see" He said referring to the baby.

"Yeah, four or five weeks." She looked at Amanda. "I'm gonna go." She said, not looking forward to struggling to get up from Amanda's sofa. It was one of those big, oversized pillowy numbers and suddenly, Olivia regretted sitting on it.

"You don't have to." Amanda said sadly.

"I do actually…" She tried to get up, but the damn couch was just swallowing! "I have dinner plans with Elliot and I have to get changed, so…"

"Do you need some help?" Darrell offered. Olivia sat there for a split second then quickly swallowed her apprehension.

"Please" She said. Darrell wasted no time in offering his hand and arm, to which she held on and was quickly pulled to her feet. "Thank you."

"Oh, no problem. That couch can be tricky." He smiled.

"Tell me about it." She found herself giving him a slight smile. He wasn't so bad after all, she thought and grabbed her coat.

"Why don't I walk you out? D, I'll be right back." Amanda said.

"Take your time. Nice seeing you again, Olivia.

"Nice seeing you too, take care!" She said and was quickly out of the apartment.

...

"Liv… I…"

"Amanda, it's already forgiven." They were standing downstairs in front of Olivia's SUV. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. I just… Amanda, you lied to me; again. He lied to me."

"And I wish I could take it back, I swear!"

"There's no sense in wishing you can change the past, trust me. This is exactly why I didn't want to bring it up; I've just...we've been through so much with me trying to trust you and I know that you're not alone in this, Brian is just as guilty but I really...I'm gonna go." She opened the car door and got in.

"Liv"

"Amanda...it's forgiven!" She said and shut the door, driving away.

...

She came back into her apartment to find Darrell putting on his coat.

"I'm sorry baby. I thought we had a minute but Fin just called, I gotta go."

"Duty calls, right?"

"Hey, what went on with you and Olivia?"

"Something that shouldn't have… You'll be back tonight?" She asked. He knew she wanted to talk about whatever it was and felt terrible for having to go.

"I'll be here. I'm sorry I have to leave but I promise, we'll talk when I get back." He said as he wrapped her in his arms and leaned into her for a sensual kiss. "I love you; no matter what, always know that!"

"I love you too!" She cried, hugging him tight. She loved him so deeply, she couldn't put it into words. No man had ever come into her life and given her so much as he did and she knew beyond a doubt that he was her future. Now, even more, she hated what she had done with Brian, not just because of Olivia, but, because she finally had something real; someone real and she loved him so. "Please be careful out there!"

"I have to be; I've got you to come back to!" He said as he looked into her eyes. He saw hope there and he slowly leaned in and kissed her one last time. "I gotta go."

If only he'd known that he wouldn't be back.

"El?" She called as she came in the door, stopping to lock each of the three locks and arm the security alarm before she took off her coat and hung it there in the small foyer. "Guess I beat him home!" She said and walked into the living room, checking through the mail.

"Hey darlin!" It came so clear but she knew it had to be her imagination. Still she stopped cold, her heart racing at the sound of that voice. She remembered a time when Billy was the most terrifying thing she could ever imagine and now he seemed like child's play compared to his father!

She saw him there, sitting on the couch and drinking tea ever so daintily.

"How's my baby boy? Just a matter of time!" He said as he sat the cup down on the saucer and got up, coming towards her.

"You're not real!" She said, eyes closed.

"Is that what you think?"

"YOU'RE NOT REAL!" She said louder, not giving any room for her mind to doubt this apparition and she opened her eyes to find him gone.

"Hey, there you are!" Elliot said, coming from his office. "Who were you talking to?" She started to speak but immediately threw herself into his arms and held him tight.

"Nobody...I'm so glad you're home!"

"I'm here babe; it's alright!" He said, holding her just as tight. He knew she had a reason for being like this but still, he just held her. "You okay?"

"I am now." And she meant it; he somehow made the monsters in her head go away and she felt safe with him; her prince. "Let's not go out tonight!" She said as she pulled away.

"Are you sure? We still have an hour…"

"I'm sure. I just wanna take a hot bath and relax; you don't mind do you?"

"Of course not." He said and kissed her nose. "I'll cook us something and we'll catch a movie on TV, how's that sound?"

"Like heaven!" and in all actuality, it did. She never dreamed that when she said the word home that it would be a place filled with love, and most of all, a place where Elliot was; finally he was hers and she, his and that was heaven to her.

"Come on, I'll run your bath." And he put his arm around her as they started to walk towards her room.

"You're too good to me." She said and looked up at him, kissing his lips.

It was all a mess. A hostage situation and they couldn't wait for the negotiator. This guy had three kids and his wife in there; they had no time to wait, but they didn't count on things getting so out of hand. No one knew that the father would lose it so quickly and that he'd start putting bullets in his family members, starting with the wife; a blow to the head and she was gone as his kids screamed and cried. Next, his 14 year old son but by then Fin and Darrell had charged inside the apartment and as Fin's gun went off, so did the fathers; only it didn't hit his son and as Fin's bullet hit him, his bullet hit Darrell, piercing his liver and hitting a blood vessel.

As the rest of the cops poured in, Fin ran to Darrell who was partially sitting up by the wall where he'd fallen, his gun beside him.

"Call a bus! Collins!"

"Is...is the kid alright?" He breathed out, short and quick breaths while Fin put pressure on the wound but it was already too late. The bleeding was bad and Fin knew by the color of it, practically black, that he wouldn't make it.

"He's fine, don't talk" The blood was coming out at an alarming rate and it was all Fin could do to keep his wits about him. One of the cops came over, handed him some rags and reassured him that the ambulance would be there within minutes, but it wasn't enough and Darrell was already losing consciousness.

"Tell Amanda; tell her I'm sorry… I tried to get out but she threatened… I'm so sorry…!" He stammered then he just stopped; no movements, no anything as his eyes remained open and looking into nothing. He was gone and Fin silently cursed himself; he could not break this to Amanda!

"Elliot…oh god, please don't stop, don't…." She cried out, giving a high moan as she rode him, her hands on his chest as she pushed herself up and down. Jesus, he feels so fucking good! She said to herself as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Liv, baby, don't close your eyes…" He said softly, struggling just to get the words out with the way her body felt so good on his, he could have this forever and never need another thing except the strength to keep going. He was so deep inside and wished to god he could be deeper; she drove him just that crazy. "That's it, keep them on me!"

For her, as she opened her eyes and met his, she saw nothing but pure love looking back at her. There was love in the way he touched her, love with how he spoke, even when there were no words; so much love!

Being with him made her forget all the things that made today so unbearable; the two rapists that would force her into trial, the cop's suicide and his final letter to her, even the paternity test that would be back any time now, they just seemed to disappear when she was in his arms; when he was inside her.

"Oh my god...Elliot; baby…" She cried, her nails clawing at his chest as her orgasm approached. Later when it was over, she lay in his arms trying to breathe. "You know, we hadn't since..." She said while turning on her back..

"That night in Pennsylvania...and the next morning; and all afternoon …" He said coming closer to her while she laughed. "You kept me going! But holy shit Liv, that was so worth the wait!"

"So, you've been thinking about it?"

"In not so many words? ...yes. I've been thinking about it very much...probably more than can be considered healthy…I have dreamt about making love to you again ever since that night!" He said looking down at her.

"Why haven't you?

"Are you… Liv, I can't; I need to know that you're alright with things; that it's okay for me to-"

"El, you don't have to wait for me to initiate sex."

"I'm sorry. I don't know how this works; if I'm gonna freak you out if I ask; I just want to be sure that you're okay with it. I got you back and I don't wanna do anything to screw that up." She sat up, leaning on her elbow and caressed his face.

"That's why I love you but, I'm not gonna break and fall apart. That doesn't mean that I won't have moments where maybe I'll freak out but I'm fine, I promise." She said and they kissed. "...and hungry!"

He kissed her hand as he smiled and asked her: "What do you want?"

"Pizza with anchovies and roasted pineapple…" She said with a smile in her eyes just thinking about it.

"On your half" He said and she laughed. "Carmine's?"

"Yes please!" She said and kissed him."I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Need some help?"

"I got it" she said as she got up and headed towards the bathroom, the short gown she was wearing falling down around her hips. "Get my food, Stabler!" and she shut the door as Elliot smiled before taking off the condom and putting on his robe.

Next chapter...oh boy!