Chapter 2: Ain't That A Kick In The Head? (II)

An earthquake of unprecedented magnitude ravaged the world, affecting the lands of the Order, the Demon Realms and even the distant lands of Zinpagu and the Mist Continent. Since the gods were in control of the world and a large number of them sided with the monsters, and as such were no longer interested in restraining the mortal population, natural disasters had become almost unheard of, so the impact it had on the inhabitants of the lands was diverse.

The zealots of the Order claimed that it was a sign that their God was displeased and required major action against the armies of monsters. Followers of the Demon Lord attempted to ask their lord for the origin of the tremor, to no avail. Married monsters everywhere embraced their husbands and daughters in an overprotective manner, more than willing to defend their families from nature itself. Even the deities were surprised, not by the earthquake, but by the disturbance they felt, as if reality itself was being coerced by unknown forces. They were disturbed, for none of them were able to know the cause of it, and if there was anything the deities feared, it was something they could not control.

Ares prepared for battle, Poseidon ordered her subordinates to investigate the oceans in search of an answer, and even the Fallen God put an end to her hedonistic routine and sent her dark priests to explore human cities to gather information. In the realm of heaven, the Valkyries and angels were in disarray as the current Chief God sat on her heavenly throne. Once again, something tried to bring chaos to the stable world the Original had created, but this time it was something outside the realm, beyond her reach.

A Wild Card had entered the game.

Everything went black after activating the Transportalponder. Normally the trip was instantaneous, in the blink of an eye, but this time something went wrong. He didn't appear in The Sink, in fact, he wasn't even sure where he was, as he couldn't see anything. Not even the night vision of his helmet could help him; the only thing around him was pure absolute darkness. He had no words to describe it, but he began to feel cold, not like the icy Mojave wind at night or an afternoon in Jacobstown, no, it was an absolute, piercing, horrendous cold. There was no sun or any source of warmth, just him in the absolute void, where no living thing should be in the first place.

It was impossible to know how much time passed; it was hard to differentiate seconds from hours in that state, he wasn't even sure there was such a thing as time in that damned place, not to mention how hard it was to feel his own body. The only reason he was sure he hadn't dissolved was the implants inside him working at full capacity to keep him alive. Worst of all, there was no air at all; merely trying to breathe just wasted what precious oxygen he had left in his lungs.

His modified body struggled against the unnatural frost, desperately trying to maintain body heat, but even his cybernetic organs had their limits. For a moment it seemed like it was the end, that he was going to die in the vast nothingness, without even having a chance to fight for his life. His mechanical heart began to slow and his consciousness began to fade, the last thing he could see before he died was the black space around him. Without any strength, his hand finally weakened and he detached himself from the Transportalponder.

Then, his body hit the ground.

ED-E's systems slowly came back online, and his vision sensors were working again. It wasn't the first time he had accompanied the Courier to the Big MT; in fact, he had quite a few bad memories of those strange brains in jars trying to use him as a guinea pig for their twisted experiments, but he had never experienced anything so horrible while teleporting. His body was made of reinforced metal, he couldn't experience pain or cold, and yet he could tell how bad it was to float in that vacuum.

The eyebot looked around and realized that he was stuck in some branches. That surprised him, because he didn't remember there being any trees on Big Mountain, let alone one as green and healthy as that one. Actually, now that he looked around, there were many healthy green trees around, almost like a forest. However, that was simply ridiculous; there were no forests on Big Mountain.

Then the realization hit him. Maybe he was not in Big Mountain.

"Nyahaha!"

A sudden female giggle brought him out of his thoughts. The eyebot struggled to free himself from the branches for a few seconds, needing at least three attempts before he was able to escape from his green prison, now finally being able to levitate in the air once more. His small moment of victory was short-lived, because now he could see who was laughing: a strange cat-like mutant with brown fur who was on top of the unconscious Courier, trying to undress him while grinning lewdly.

Brimming with fury, ED-E let out a loud, piercing shriek before launching himself to the ground, firing point-blank at the mutant who, with no time to react, had the privilege of being the first of its kind to experience the power of a miniaturized Tesla cannon straight to the face.

Was he dead? It was hard to say. He couldn't move, even the mere action of opening his eyes was too much for him, not to mention that he wasn't able to feel anything at all. His cybernetic heart was still functioning, but slowly and almost imperceptibly. The beats were weak, barely fulfilling the purpose of keeping the body functioning; it was only thanks to the cooperation of all the implants that the Courier was still technically alive.

His mind was fuzzy; the brain was struggling to maintain neural functions despite the lack of air, surely regretting the decision to go back to that damned head instead of enjoying a nice, quiet life in a lovely tank in the Forbidden Zone.

Fortunately, all was not lost. He was now out of that godforsaken void, resting again on the good earth. Where was he now? That was a problem for later, now his only concern was ED-E's location. They had a contingency plan for this type of situation, but it could only work if the little robot was close enough to come to his aid. If ED-E didn't arrive in time or was teleported elsewhere, then he was, for lack of better words, essentially a goner.

ZAP

Never in his life had he felt so happy to have electricity running through his body. His implants, especially his cybernetic heart, were now on and functioning at maximum capacity. The Courier cheated death once again, so he opened his eyes and celebrated his second rebirth in his own personal and refined way.

"God fucking damn it!" he shouted both in pain and relief, now finally being able to move.

The Courier rolled over in pain. From his toes to, oddly enough, his nose, everything hurt like hell, but that was good, it meant he was alive. His stomach began to churn like a wild beast, so he quickly removed his helmet and vomited on the ground, expelling his lunch and atrocious amounts of sarsaparilla in the process.

The Courier experienced something no living being should know, for a brief moment he was exposed to the void between dimensions, the literal nothingness that separated realities from each other. A place with infinite directions, a gateway to unimaginable worlds and alternate realms, and most importantly, a place not fit for organisms like him. Lady Luck showed her preference once again.

"T-thanks, lil' buddy," muttered the panting man, cleaning up the vomit from his lips.

ED-E levitated next to him, showing his zapper. The right amount of energy could electrocute a man to death, but in Courier's case, it saved his life by empowering his cybernetic implants.

"That was one hell of a trip, eh?"

Worried beeping sounds came from the eyebot.

"No, no, easy there, lil' buddy, I'm all right," he gave a weak laugh while patting the concerned robot.

The Monocyte Breeder inside of him began to do its magic, slowly but surely regenerating his health. It took a couple of minutes, but now he was finally able to get up on his own.

"So, ED-E," the man started talking as he pulled out a stimpak, quickly injecting the syringe contents on his neck, "I've a feeling we're not in Nevada anymore."

In front of them stretched a huge forest, with green trees as far as the eye could see. In the distance were huge mountains, which the Courier could not recognize. He was quite an explorer, with years and years of travel behind him, so that he didn't know the territory was not only strange, but also worrying.

All of a sudden, the device attached to the black-haired man's left forearm began to emit a sound, drawing both of their attention. It was the Personal Information Processor, also known as Pip-Boy. A personal computer that served all sorts of functions, from health monitoring to organizing equipment and tracking notes and findings, as well as having a wonderful radio function that made long trips more enjoyable. However, that was no ordinary Pip-Boy; it was Pimp-Boy number 3 billion, a model decorated with solid gold and encrusted diamonds, a small gift from a friend at Freeside. Perhaps a bit extravagant, even by New Vegas standards, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't fashionable.

Their worst fears proved true when the Pip-Boy map showed nothing, displaying a wide empty space. This was an unusual occurrence, as the Pip-Boy's database had maps of multiple locations that were automatically updated through powerful satellite uplinks and sonar imagery, so it was very rare that it could not show the current location. That meant two possibilities: either they were in a place where the map function couldn't work, or the accident had caused some kind of damage to the Pip-Boy's location system. He hoped it was the former, because seeing where he was, he wouldn't have access to the tools needed to repair the damage for a long time.

To make matters worse, the Transportalponder had disappeared. He searched his inventory and the surrounding area, trying to see if it had strayed nearby with the fall, but to no avail. The device was probably lost in the journey, possibly falling to the other side of the world, or perhaps in an ironic and cruel twist of life, turning up in The Sink on its own. Whatever the truth, the cause of the accident and the only key to their safe return had been lost.

"Well, ain't that just perfect," he said before turning to see his companion. "You feelin' in the mood for a walk? "

ED-E answered with a single beep while nodding.

"Great, but before that, would you be kind enough to explain this?" he questioned while looking at the corpse on the ground. "It looks like you went wild on this one."

That mysterious creature had its upper body completely obliterated, with only its torso and hairy legs remaining, leaving behind a pool of blood. The eyebot continued to fire at the mutant even long after it was dead, destroying a significant portion of the body. Robots were prone to go into a frenzy when their combat inhibitors ended up damaged, and ED-E was no exception, but the Duraframe was a special case, as enough emotional trauma could send it into a fit of rage.

"Also, what the hell is even this thing?"

The Courier picked up one of the dismembered paws, looking at it with both confusion and curiosity. Decades of living in the Wasteland made him somewhat familiar with the types of mutants that roamed the lands, but never something that had giant paws reminiscent of felines.

ED-E started beeping, explaining everything he saw from the moment he woke up.

"Undress me you say?" the Courier questioned with intrigue. "Then it was intelligent enough to try robbing me."

The situation was horrible, no doubt about it. They were lost in some unknown forest, the Pip-Boy's map function was unavailable, the Transportalponder was missing, the Big MT could have teleported to the bottom of the ocean for all they knew, and if they couldn't find any settlements nearby, then they had to survive on what they had on hand for who knew how long.

They were in the worst possible scenario and yet the Courier could not help but smile. He had missed the allure of discovering a new land, longed for the adrenaline rush of facing new and mysterious enemies, longed to be a wanderer again instead of the leader of a nation and, of course, looked forward to the sensuality of danger itself.

Their first objective would be to find a source of water, not only to drink, but also to do so would help them find civilization. Water was a treasure, even if it was radioactive, so there was no doubt that where they found water they could find people. They would then gather information about their current location and find their way back to the Mojave, and if they had the chance, some sort of clue as to the whereabouts of Big MT. Surely there would be rumors of a giant facility appearing out of nowhere somewhere. People were gossipy after all.

He was determined in finding the way back home, then the location of Big Mountain, and of course, having a damn good time while doing so.

"ED-E, play audio log number 487479-6," he ordered while throwing away the dismembered leg and putting his helmet back on.

The eyebot nodded, proceeding to search his databanks for said audio record. It didn't take long, quickly selecting the file and playing it through his internal speakers. Soon the sound of a guitar began to emanate from the little robot, the beginning of Roundhouse Rock. The Courier foresaw a situation where, for whatever reason, they could not reach the signal of any radio station, so he asked his robotic companion to record a collection of songs for those desperate moments.

In that way, the two companions marched ahead to the rhythm of the music, happy and excited but unaware of the impact of their arrival in that world.

Felicia was worried. She had not seen her sister ever since the morning, when she ran away claiming that she was going to find a husband.

They were both werecats, so it was in their nature to be playful and teasing, something she, as an older sister, took advantage of very often. She was married to a wonderful man, a handsome farmer who lived nearby and who, after their passionate encounter, took her as his wife, the ultimate happiness a mamono could experience in life. Kary, her younger sister, was not as lucky. Any man she tried to mate with was either already married or managed to run away from her, leaving her bitter and alone.

There wasn't a single day that Felicia didn't make fun of her little sister and her bad luck with men, especially that morning, as it was Kary's twenty-fifth birthday. It was shameful for a mamono to remain single at that age, so Felicia teased her nonstop, culminating in the young mamono leaving the house with tears streaming down her face.

At first she thought Kary would return home once she was hungry, but with each passing hour her concern grew more and more, and that powerful and terrifying earthquake only added to her anxiety. She spent hours and hours searching the forest with her husband, trying to find a clue to her sister's location. The sun had already set over the horizon and Kary had still not been found, which worried the older mamono greatly.

"Kary! I am sorry!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Please come out wherever you are!"

The werecat hopped from tree to tree, asking the other forest dwellers for any clues as to her sister's whereabouts. Kary should be fine, she had to be, even if a soldier of the Order found her she could simply force him to the ground and mate with him. She was sure her little sister had only lost track of time by being with a male, just that. In a couple of hours they would be laughing over dinner, she was sure.

"Felicia!"

The feline heard her husband calling her, so she ran quickly towards him.

"Klaus! Did you find h-"

Her eyes widened in shock at the sight before her. She fell to her knees, screaming in horror and despair at the horrifying sight of Kary's mutilated remains. The body was not even recognizable, but she could see that it was her little sister, her beloved Kary, now reduced to a bloodstained torso and mutilated legs. Not even her husband's embrace could make her stop, not even when she felt her throat burn with pain. Her scream echoed throughout the forest, attracting the attention of the inhabitants, who came closer just to see for themselves the macabre scene.