A/N: Hello! I'm back! After my much-needed leave of absence, this story is back and on the one year anniversary of publication! I can't believe it, a year ago today was when the first chapter of when you love someone appeared and I'm so thankful for every single one of you that had stuck my by side and loved the same characters I fell in love with too!
P.S This was hastily edited on my lunch break so any mistakes I didn't catch I apologize
Shoutout! A big thank you to my friend VeldanTwilight who not only pre -read this chapter to make it the best it can be but also really helped during this whole crazy process of this chapter to get it out on the anniversary of this story! Thank you!
Enjoy!
When You Love Someone
Chapter 17: Peace
Alec
I was anxiously waiting for the plane to touch down, my leg bouncing with each second. I felt so useless here, up in the air, thousands of miles away from where she needed me most, however flying was quicker.
The second the plane touched the ground I was running, ignoring the strange looks of my comrades as Janie glared at them, daring them to say a word.
It was my luck Marcus sent Janie with me, and after learning of my discovery she was more than willing to aid me in finding Bella. As instructed, she would wait for my signal before coming, I had a feeling that whatever happened would need a delicate hand and a conversation that Janie could not be privy too.
I knew I should have stepped in more when Bella showed me that book.
Ever since that day in the library when she came to me; eyes full of questions and a thirst for knowledge; I knew she could be just like the others and I couldn't let that happen. She's been through too much to meet that kind of fate.
It always seemed to happen, those with the gift of alchemy would always grow curious and not even understand why. Didyme's blessing was more like a curse and I should have spoken sooner before I kept Marcus secret when he talked with that witch. For the price of immortality, she would cast a spell that would make anyone that had the spirit of alchemy feel inclined to discover. If Marcus couldn't physically do anything, he would make sure others would. I just never imagined it would be Bella.
He was desperate and I could understand why. His mate was lost forever and no one, not even her own brother would tell him the truth. It seemed that the secret that led to Didyme's demise would be buried along with her on that battlefield.
I should have protected her more, not let my judgment be clouded by what was happening but what could happen. I had an alibi of course but I was her personal guard, I was her friend and I helped her be killed. I knew she should not have been left alone, with so many enemies around her she would have needed help.
Instead, I abandoned her and was left with the questions that plagued so many of us for centuries, but Marcus wanted more than the answers we all craved. He wanted blood.
Of course, after a century of vampires murdered and never discovering the culprit, Marcus killed the witch and instructed me, as the last duty to Didyme; to hide her book, never to be discovered again. He wanted nothing to do it and never set foot in the library again.
Until Bella.
Of all people, Bella had to be the one to find it, but never did I expect her to come so close to the truth. She came to me with the knowledge she should have never known and possibly out of my own selfishness, spurred her on. Maybe, just maybe she would be the one to find the truth, she would be the one to crack the code into how Didyme was killed.
However, I was blinded that others would want to kill her before she had the chance.
The gruesome thoughts my mind conjured up; Bella dead or engulfed in flames or limbs scattered was too much to bear and I shook my head clear of these thoughts.
She's not dead. Not yet, not if I can help it. Bella won't die, she can't die. I won't allow it. If she allows me, I will be her protector as I was for Didyme…no one will harm her again.
Seattle was dreary but I made no mind of it, I knew that Bella would have gone to the Cullen's; always the fucking Cullen's, pulling her every which way, and just when she drew away they pull her back in.
Whatever reason they had to have her back here it better be a good one. I held my resolve the last trip, but this time I make no promises.
Dashing through the forest the house is easily seen and I caught Bella's scent easily; she was in a hurry that much was certain, and I don't want to surprise them. I want them to know I'm coming.
I saw Carlisle close the curtains to the window and muffled voices from the entryway. It seems they know I'm here and they aren't happy.
Good.
When I saw Bella appear in the archway my dead heart felt alive again, I could see her, worse for wear but alive. Sweet relief flowed me that she was alive.
I couldn't help the relieved smile that crept onto my face as I ran closer to the steps, but Bella's expression almost stopped me short.
She was…different. Her features were twisted in pain and anger and I grew defensive immediately. What did they do to her?
B&A
Bella
Upon seeing me he slowed, relief turning to confusion as I simply stared. I didn't have anything left in me to feel anything. Even knowing the truth of his betrayal, seeing his face brought a peace within me that always settled when he's near. That should have been the first sign.
I was such a fool, falling again when there is no attainable evidence showing that this would work. That anything could work.
He spoke then, his lips moving but no sound came out. I couldn't understand his words nor the steps he took toward me. His face showed anger then, not at me but at Carlisle who has stood beside me. Everything felt like a blur, like an unfiltered picture that you could barely make out the details. I felt almost hollow, empty. An emptiness within me that I never knew existed. How could I kill this magnificent creature before me? How could I bring myself to cause harm to something so good?
Yet he wasn't.
My heart has collapsed leaving an empty, hollow space of what I couldn't describe. He coiled into a stance, ready to strike, his eyes shifting from my face to Carlisle's, various emotions dancing in his eyes.
Moments, seconds passed so fast that I could barely comprehend. I heard Carlisle's voice then, cutting, hard, commanding, and Alec in turn responded by taking a few steps further. Closer to us, closer to me.
"Don't" I whispered as both their heads turned to me. I felt like a woman possessed, my limbs moving freely, my eyes prickling with unshed tears.
"Don't take one more step" I whispered my voice uneasy, shaky, weak. "Alec…. I can't" I breathed out my body sagging, my breath coming in gasps.
"I can't Carlisle" I looked at him, his eyes wide, concern leaking through and I broke. "Why?" I asked breathlessly as Alec a took step towards me.
"Don't!" I screamed out as he froze in his place, his eyes wide and filled with confusion. "Don't take one more step." I said shakily as I wrapped my arms around myself, as if I can hold myself tight enough, I won't fall apart.
"Why did you do it?" I asked brokenly as he frowned, straightening himself slowly as our eyes never left each other.
"Do what Bella?" He asked slowly, with caution
"Why did you send him? Why would you want me – "I broke off, tearing my eyes away and looking at Carlisle who was staring straight at Alec, his body tense; ready to attack.
"Why would you want me dead?" I whispered as Alec faced me alarmed and confused and most of all; hurt.
"What!? I wouldn't want you dead, how could you think that of me?" He asked a bit wounded and defensive as he glared at Carlisle. "What did you do to her?" He growled as I stepped in front of Carlisle. His wrath directed at me as his expression softened once again.
"Bella, whatever you think, whatever may have happened – we can talk about it. We can always talk with each other. Please, Bella, talk with me" He pleaded in earnest as my resolve almost broke and I felt myself taking a step towards him.
"Bella" Carlisle whispered sharply and subtly shook his head.
I gasped as I realized what I had done. I was losing. Losing a battle, I didn't want to win. I couldn't trust him. I couldn't be alone with him, not now, not after what he did. I couldn't talk with him because I would believe him. I would believe anything he would tell me because he's Alec. He was my Alec.
Except he wasn't.
"I can't do this anymore," I said brokenly as I reached into my pocket and broke the vial of potion onto my body before sprinting away from the steps and leaping into the forest, ignoring the cries behind me.
I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't continue, I had to leave and getaway. To just run. Run where I didn't know. I couldn't go to the meadow and with Alec so close I can't go to the lab here and Jake was off-limits. I couldn't bring this danger to them.
I was alone.
Again.
I was getting sick of being alone. Loneliness wasn't as foreign as I wanted it to be, yet it was the only friend I had in the world.
How could this have happened?
The tress blurred, the ground, the wind everything was a blur, and it wasn't until I arrived did I realize my destination.
It was the cliff fall. The one that I jumped that started my eternity into this existence. How ironic that my subconscious would lead me here. How would my life be if I hadn't? Would I still be human, or would my fate always lead me to this life? Would the Volturi eventually pay the visit and would they be demanding my death? Would I be hidden away to live out the remainder of my human life in peace? Could I even have peace knowing what I knew? Would my mind allow me that sweet luxury?
It seems so long that I had any semblance of peace.
Would it be so sweet to jump? To let go, to be free, to have peace. Of course, even if I did my stone body would slink through the water and I would find no luxury. Would it even be a luxury?
I had thought so a year ago. I had thought so a few months ago. However now, I don't know. I don't suppose so. Would it be a luxury for anyone I left behind?
No, it wouldn't be. Not like that.
My parents, they wouldn't want that for me. Carlisle wouldn't that for me. Fuck, even Edward wouldn't that for me.
Alec wouldn't want that either, at least I don't think.
Would they be proud of me? In this moment running away again, always running. Either to danger or away from it.
Running to Edward when I was human, hoping, dreaming of attaining that immortal strength and love that I thought he could only reserve for me and have a body that could hold that much love.
Running away from Edward then, when I had this life when I had the body and strength to love as fiercely as anyone of our kind but only to be rejected, to be lied to, to be punished.
Left alone.
Always running and now I ran to my new love. To a new family that could heal and reassemble all the broken pieces of me only to be broken again.
Is this the life I had been waiting for? Is this my destiny?
Would I allow this to be my destiny?
It couldn't be. It wouldn't be.
I closed my eyes, letting myself feel the wind and letting my senses take over my mind.
I could hear the roaring winds; I could feel the crashing thunder and the droplets of the rain.
The storm was brewing but in my heart, it might as well be here.
No more.
No more running from the storms. No more hiding from the winds. No more fighting the coming rains.
If a storm was here, then let it rain.
I don't want my life to be like this. Always running, always hiding. Always being afraid of some unseen force always on the horizon. That's no way to live life. That's no way to use the gift I had been given. A second chance. Others aren't so lucky yet here I am with a second chance.
A way out of the self-imposed misery I placed on myself.
I can't control how my (new) life started. I can't control the cards I had been handed. My mom, Charlie, Edward, Jacob, Astrid, Jasper, Alice…Alec. All of them, all the Cullen's and all the Volturi and the tribe.
They were my family, as much as I hate it, I love it.
I don't have to be alone however I don't have to accept the treatment when it's wrong. Maybe that's the key to happiness after all. A balance of love and bullshit. Or at least choosing the shit you want to put up with.
I wouldn't mind putting up with my share if they mean it. They have been trying but they aren't perfect. No one is perfect.
Just like no one is beyond redemption.
Sure, of my course, I opened my eyes and as I saw the brewing storm clouds, I closed my eyes and let go. I was ready.
Ready to jump off the cliff that I had been on since the beginning.
No more running.
No more hiding.
No more hesitation.
I was ready to jump and I started to soar.
The waves were strong, but I was stronger, I felt the pressure as it was pulling me down but I resisted. My arms and legs moving, struggling but moving. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I could only move.
I had to keep moving. I had to keep going. This would not be my end. This would not be how my destiny goes. Pushing at the water my head broke free and I took a deep breath of salty air. Physically I didn't need it but somehow, I needed it the most.
Looking back at the cliff's edge I didn't realize how far I traveled when I saw Alec staring into the ripples I had just made.
"Bella!" He yelled before taking off his suit jacket and jumped in after me before I saw Carlisle reach right after him, however, Carlisle had knowledge that he didn't, and knowing exactly where I was headed he looked in my direction and pointed his head where I needed to go. Smiling I sunk beneath the waves and let the water encompass me, this time I broke free of my own choice and I would solve this, I would not end my story.
It was just getting started.
B&A
Alec
Seeing her dive away from the cliffside, running from me, I had to jump in after her.
"Bella" I shouted desperately searching the waters as I heard Carlisle running after me. His footfalls are less hectic, more timed.
"What the hell did you do?" I snarled as the doctor stood before me, serene and calm, as he stared me down.
"Not me Alec, what did you do?" He questioned, leveling at me.
"I didn't do anything to her! She comes back somewhat okay and you and your son drag her back here for who knows what reason and look at the condition she's in!" I snarl out again as I crouch low, ready to attack.
"Alec, please, before violence, I didn't do anything but try to protect the daughter I wished I had protected better. She was nearly killed did you know that?" Carlisle glowered at me as what seemed like ice went down my spine.
"I knew a battle had taken place, but I didn't know to what degree," I said calculated, calming down as he didn't seem he was going to attack.
"According to Bella, someone disguised as you, tried to murder her yesterday," Carlisle said slowly, gauging my reaction as for the first time, I let my guard down as I shot up, shouting "I would never harm her!"
"That's good to know but that begs the question of who would" Carlisle spoke calmly as the weight of his words settled on me.
"Someone disguised as me?" I questioned, baffled I tried to think of any such vampire that could pull off such a feat and one name came to mind. "Afton"
"Afton? Chelsea's mate?" Carlisle was then baffled as he started at me questioning as I raised a hand my pinch the bridge of my nose.
"Afton has the ability to make himself look alike anyone he wishes, although only for noticeably short periods of time. No one else knows of his abilities because Aro wanted it to be kept secret, Afton is usually the one we call to collect any information for trials because of his abilities" I explained as Carlisle's eyes sparked.
"So, it was Chelsea" Carlisle whispered mainly to himself as I looked on raising my eyebrow.
"Would you care to enlighten me?" I asked rudely as my patience was wearing thin with the doctor. I had to find Bella and he was quickly making himself useless to that cause.
"I believe that Chelsea tried to kill Bella and given your past relationship with her – "
"I never had anything to do with Chelsea, not now, not ever," I said hardened
"I find that hard to believe since in the courts of old you two were rather fond of each other; and then Bella flees here after being attacked by both Chelsea and Stefan on the pretense that you of all people tried to kill her, it doesn't seem far fetch that you would have a hand in it as well"
"I would never hurt her" I repeated
"I believe you, but you can understand that you would be a suspect and if you care for her then help me find the ones who would harm her" Carlisle pleaded as I stood on the cliffside, my eyes traveling to the water where she was long gone.
"Didyme's curse" I whispered as I turned to look at him
"Pardon?"
"Didyme's curse, Marcus bewitched her book of recipes that would draw anyone with a talent of alchemy. It was centuries ago and I was instructed on hiding the damn thing when others had failed. Marcus still hadn't given up and now I see that Bella is closer than any of the others." I chuckled darkly "Of course it would be perfect timing too" I mumbled as I turned to look at Carlisle "There's a war brewing," I said gravely as Carlisle's eyes snapped to mine.
"what?" He whispered, shocked at my declaration
"The Romanians are becoming active again, they are slowly building troops. Back in the court of old, Chelsea was my partner. We were instructed to spy on the Romanians and report any activity back to the brothers. Chelsea of the curse since she was one who found the witch in the first place. Recently we were instructed to spy again. Except for this time, Chelsea was unavailable so Jane came with me instead. It's known among the brothers who killed Didyme, but they didn't do it alone. I've suspected we had a betrayer among us for some time, but I never suspected Chelsea" I growled out, rage building inside me at my former comrade
"If that's true then Chelsea is the culprit, but she couldn't have worked alone," Carlisle said gravely as I nodded my head.
"It couldn't have just been Santiago, she would have needed someone more powerful, someone, with more leeway."
"Your son might help with that. He can come back on invitation once his bride has turned and gather information" I planned as I saw Carlisle's guilty expression "What?"
"He might already know something; his first visit was to help with just that; Alice saw that Bella would have needed help and Edward came as a reconnaissance for that purpose"
"And you didn't tell Bella because?" I questioned glaring at the doctor
"We figured the less she knew then the better, the situation is rather delicate as you know" Carlisle explained as I gave a dark chuckle
"You never learn from your mistakes, do you? Bella is smarter and more capable than you know"
"It seems you may be right; I've underestimated her too long; I just want to protect her," Carlisle said softly, honesty in his eyes
"If you want to protect her then treat her as an equal." I said staring hard "you know where she went?" I asked already knowing the answer
"To Alaska, we have friends there that can help her and maybe even help herself as well"
"Take me to her, please," I asked already preparing to dive into the water
"No need, we'll get there faster if we take my car. We can meet her there and regroup"
"Then let's not waste any time" I took off running after the doctor, as the trees rush past me. I'll run whatever distance I have too to get to her.
Bella
The water was cold and swift as I swam with all my might towards the Alaskan banks, even with the air crisp I have never felt warmer. I knew what I had to do, I had to finish this. I was tired of being alone, I was tired of being angry.
I thought Alec and the Volturi would be my new family, I thought that they would settle and fill the hole in my heart that the Cullen's had caused but it would never be filled.
It would never be completely settled, Charlie's murder and my mother's death would always be with me and Cullen's actions would forever be scarred on my heart; the memory would forever haunt me but I was tired of being lonely. Of being angry and bitter.
Alec's betrayal was like a lightning bolt to my heart. At that moment I saw my whole life, alone. Roaming the earth forever hunted, not able to return to Italy because of the threat but unable to come to America because of the Cullen's. My whole life around other people, not because of what they did but because of my inability to move on.
Bitter, angry, and alone.
I don't want that for myself, my parents wouldn't want that for me. I had to finish what I started. I had to find out the mystery, I had to know. Something inside me was screaming at me to keep going. I had to end this chapter to move on with my story.
To move on with my life.
I wanted to forgive. I wanted to move on. Not to have their guilt erased for them but to forgive them for me and only for me.
I wanted to have my family back. Replacing one with the other and moving on when things get tough, that's not what I want. I know the Cullen's made a grave mistake, and they will live with that for the rest of eternity however I will not ignore all they have done to show how sorry they were.
That must count for something.
Approaching the snowbanks, I walked carefully until I saw the outline of the house but of course I wouldn't get that far.
He was already waiting for me.
His hair glinted off the snow, just like a shiny penny. He rested against a snowbank, the picture of relaxation and beside him, he had a towel with fresh clothes.
Walking swiftly, I wordlessly sat beside him, the air buzzing with anticipation as I stared down at my soaked jeans. All the confidence I had built up suddenly crumbled and I, for the first time in a long time, didn't know what to say.
I felt like it was high school again, sitting beside him in the lab, feeling shy and awkward as he sat there next to me, mysterious and quiet without giving any inkling into his mind.
I guess that's what he felt whenever he was around me.
"Hi Edward" I whispered
"Hi Bella"
"I guess Alice called you then," I said lowly gesturing towards the clothes as he shifted the towel onto my shoulders.
"Yeah, she and Jasper arrived a few hours before you did. Alice thought you might want the fresh clothes"
"I do, thank you"
An awkward silence followed as I didn't know what to say next, I shifted my eyes towards Edward who looked just as relaxed as before except there was tension in his eyes.
I couldn't stand the silence anymore, so I blurted out "Where's Astrid?"
"She's out hunting with Kate and Tanya. She figured she would want to give us privacy for our 'long overdue talk' as she put it. As always she seems to be right" He mused himself as I shifted uncomfortably in the snow.
"Yeah, I guess she was. This is already hard, it would be harder with an audience" I whispered as I hugged my knees to my chest as, once again, I felt the heaviness in my chest and shivers in my spine, every instinct telling me to run from this conversation and never look back.
So, I'm not leaving…not anymore.
"I don't know what to say honestly" I started slowly as I looked at him in my peripheral vision as he shifted in his seat, eyes trained on the snowbanks. "I mean I know what I want to say I just don't know how to say it" I continued, flustered.
At that Edward chuckled and responded, "Yeah, I understand, communication was never our strong suit, was it?" He quirked his eyebrow at me as I relented and let out a small smile.
"Yeah it never was, I guess it still isn't, but I want to try," I said honestly, turning to him as his eyes softened and he nodded his head.
"I want to try it too. Bella, I am so sorry for how everything went. I would never want to hurt but I know that, even if I didn't mean to, I still did and nothing I do will ever make up for that." He said earnestly as I stared at him, the sincerity in his eyes making me want to believe him.
Still, I held back, the fear always in the back of my head and the anger. However, no one said this would be easy.
"I know" I whispered "I know there's nothing in this world that can make what happened to my father okay and noting can right the wrongs of the past, I know you recognize what you did but Edward why did you do it? Why?" I asked, my voice cracking as the dam I've built started to crumble.
His face sunk then, his eyes downcast and he hissed "I was wrong to do that. I had thought that if I left you, just once more to get rid of Victoria without you knowing it would have made you less of a target. I thought Victoria was after me because I was the one who killed James. However, on one of my hunts I came across Astrid and I didn't know what to do." He confessed as he hung his head in shame, not able to look at me.
"I thought that if I could leave and avoid her, the feelings, the bond it would go away but I couldn't…stay away. I called in the family to help me with Astrid and to have Alice and Jasper stay with you while I was away…however that didn't happen." He mentioned darkly as he shot his head up, his face a picture of misery.
"I didn't plan to stay away as long as I did, but Victoria was eluding me, and she somehow found out about Astrid. She attacked her." He said gravely as my eyebrows shot up.
"Victoria attacked Astrid. How is that possible? How did she even survive?" I breathed out, astonished.
"She was walking home late from the hospital her mother was staying at. When I was chasing Victoria, she led me right to her and threw her against a wall in an ally way. I couldn't let her die Bella, so I brought her home where Carlisle and Esme helped me save her. We thought she was going to die that night." He whispered; his eyes haunted recalling the event. "However, she was able to fight and pull through. She was on the mend when we received a visit from Alice and Jasper. It was getting dangerous for them to stay in the area and me...I called them to be with Astrid while I went back to you, that way you both would have been protected and it would have given us the privacy and space to talk." He admitted as I stared down at the snow.
"But that didn't happen did it?" I answered, my voice hollow as I remembered Alice's tearful goodbye and Jasper's vow that they would always be there for me.
"I was making my way back to you when Alice got the vision," He said lowly.
"She saw Victoria on her way to Washington and her plans to attack both you and Astrid, to make you both suffer just like she had me suffering. She wanted to take everything away from us. From me and you. We knew we wouldn't make it in time to save your father, but we were praying we could save you."
"It was too late" I whispered "She was gone, and so was he" I sucked in a deep breath, trying to absorb everything he was telling me.
"Yes. We were too late. Alice called me in a panic and told me that she, Jasper, and Esme were coming back but when they arrived you were nowhere to be found. Esme later told me that one of the Quileute boys, Jacob, took you back on the reservation to heal and we were told that we weren't allowed to be around you. They wouldn't reveal your condition, but I had a look inside the dog's mind and…. I'm so sorry Bella." He whispered brokenly as I felt my own tears appear as I recalled those painful days.
"Charlie's body was removed by one of the boys and I blacked out. I don't remember anything from that week but when I came too Jacob was by my side along with Leah. I was in denial and I wasn't handling it well. I thought you all abandoned me, and I didn't want to see anyone." I said
"I was a mess for weeks and I couldn't contact you. Any of you" I accused as I glared lightly as Edward hung his head even lower.
"I couldn't handle it. Lying to you, knowing I betrayed you in the worst possible way. Knowing it was my fault your father was never coming home, and it was my fault for putting you through that much pain. Knowing Astrid was a breath away from death. I ran Bella. Like a coward, I ran and didn't look back. I was barely in Rio when Alice and Carlisle found me. I had gone off the map and Esme came to watch over you in the days after Charlie was killed. Esme couldn't reveal herself since the wolves thought we had left but she was there with you Bella. You were never alone. Rose and Emmett stayed behind to help Astrid and protect her from any threats. So, I…I left. Again. I left both of you. Esme stayed with you and Emmett and Rose stayed with Astrid. The others went off to try and find me. I wish I had let them in the beginning. By the time they located me, I was in Rio, loathing my own self-pity…they were trying to convince me to come back when Alice saw what you were planning." He looked up at me as I hung my own head. I couldn't look at him, instead, I looked towards the snow.
"I was breaking. I found out that Jacob had imprinted on Leah when she joined the pack. As alpha Jake could only imprint on a female wolf. I was losing my friend and felt I was being replaced by Leah, we got into a terrible fight over it. Although I loved you, Jake was the first person that I felt I could count on after Charlie died. I just wanted to be wanted by someone. I reclused and felt that I didn't have anything anymore. I've never felt that way before and I started having these thoughts, really dark thoughts and I couldn't fight anymore" I whispered brokenly
"I felt my life was worthless, yet you saved me. Why?" I turned to him as the question escaped my lips before I could stop it.
"Why wouldn't we save you, Bella?" He asked scandalized "You are worth so much more than you gave yourself credit for. You were dying and we couldn't save your human life so we did the next best thing. Although the decision may have already been decided before we arrived" he mused as I raised my eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
"When we arrived and I pulled you out of the water, you were so cold Bella, your heart wasn't beating. You were dead Bella." He said gravely as the same haunted expression entered his eyes "It was Jacobs pleading that snapped us back. We were all stunned but Carlisle went ahead with the change once we heard Alice's premonition. That this was how it was supposed to happen. I guess she may have been right. Look at everything you have accomplished since." He told me with awe in his voice as I rested my head in my hands and pursed my lips sullenly.
"I don't know about that. I may have gotten myself in another impossible situation, and for what?" I asked sarcastically as I looked back to Edward's half-hearted grin
"The truth?" He offered as I rolled my eyes
"Yes, the truth however what if the truth is too much to bear? It was too much for me and, well, here I am"
"I don't understand, what truth are we discussing?"
I snorted "It depends on what you know and if you want to know" I responded bitterly as Edward shook his head.
"Being a mind reader has its downsides but also its perks. You are the only creature whose mind has ever eluded me…although maybe it's a good thing" He joked as I glared at him "but in this case, I'll consider it a perk. I know you've been investigating the murder of Queen Didyme" He said simply "Which is why I left you that document, although after you left I had it out with Carlisle over it."
"How did you even know it existed? Or what I was doing?" I asked curiously
He squirmed then as he mumbled a name so softly, I could barely hear it. Barely.
"I'm sorry what?" I asked lowly, disbelief in my voice
"Alec. I heard it from Alec, although I don't know if he meant for me to hear his thoughts or not. He's usually very guarded around me and yet he let his guard down just enough for me to catch on."
"He probably planted it on purpose, Alec is many things but he's not a fool, especially with experience with Aro," I said harshly as Edward looked on in surprise
"I thought you would be happy with Alec in your corner?" he went on warily as I gave a bitter laugh
"He was never in my corner, he tried to kill me, Edward!" I exclaimed as he shook his head
"He can't kill you." He said simply as I glared "I'm serious, Bella have you not realized? Have you not felt it? Carlisle all but confirmed it for me"
"If you're implying that we're mates then yes, however, I can't accept it. Even if I did love him...which I don't!" I hissed out "Alec murdered Didyme, he and Chelsea both murdered her and covered it up!" I said wildly as Edward continued to shake his head.
"No that's not right, Bella your wrong, Alec didn't do it. Chelsea maybe but not Alec. I saw his memories, he was summoned back to the tower where Didyme drugged the other wives and sneaked out of the tower where Alec caught her, I saw how they met Caius the split. Alec never saw her again." He explained as I shook my head.
"No, no how can that have happened then? How could he have known if it wasn't for Alec?" I questioned as Edward looked on confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"When I left Volterra, I was attacked. There was a place where only Alec and I knew about it, we were the only ones who had access to it and there was a man who looked exactly like Alec…I thought it was Alec but it wasn't. He tried to kill me, Edward. When I came back to Forks Carlisle explained that there was some history between Chelsea and Alec and that there was already tension in the court when Didyme was alive."
"Who else could have done it if it weren't for Alec telling someone the location? I never told anyone, and as far as I know, no one else did either" I explained as Edward closed his eyes listening intently
"Bella, what did this place look like"
"It was a room made of glass, there was a large tree in the middle of the room, and on the other side there was this wall made of mirrored glass" I explained as Edwards's eyes snapped opened
"With a fountain on the other side of the tree?"
"Yes…. how do you know that?" I asked before Edward jumped up and grabbed my arm to pull me from the ground.
"Bella someone else knows about that room!"
"What" I breathed "How? Who?"
"Caius knows. It was so quick I paid it no mind, but when I arrived with Astrid in Volterra, the room flashed in his mind so quickly that I could barely make it out. He knows Bella. Caius knows about the location of the room."
"If Caius knows about the room….do you think he really sent someone to kill me? Could he have killed her" I asked breathlessly as all the pieces started to fall together?
"Bella Carlisle's right, you can't go back there. Even Alec won't be able to protect you if Caius is responsible."
"Be that as it may, I have too, Marcus gave me a week and Alec followed me here. That's why I ran, I couldn't even look at him. I thought I could end him, but I just ran." I admitted as I looked away as Edward shook his head.
"The mating bond is powerful Bella, but you have to accept it fully to complete it. Regardless Caius is on to you, Bella your strong but even you can't protect yourself from someone like Caius. You need backup." He demanded as I shook my head.
"Edward you know I can't do anything like that. I'm on invitation only, and if I show up with 'backup' what is that going to look like? If I move too fast, I will lose access completely or even be asked to leave" I said worriedly as Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Or you know, die" He retorted sarcastically as I arched my eyebrow "Bella, seriously your list of priorities is concerning to me"
"I know what I'm doing" I argued
Edward gave me a look and I rolled my eyes while whispering "mostly anyways"
"Bella, please see reason…at least call Alec. Tell him where you are and go back together, that way you'll be somewhat safe, and Caius won't be as suspicious."
"No," I said my voice flat
"Oh, damn it Bella, why!? He at least will not raise any suspicion; I understand things may be complicated between you two but if you're insistent on going back safely he is your best chance of surviving your trip back. Don't do this to him" He pleaded as I turned sharply
"What are you talking about? Don't do what to him?"
"Don't take yourself away from him…from any of us for that matter" His gentle-voice crooned at me as I sucked in a quick breath.
"oh, suddenly you speak for Alec now. I thought you couldn't get a read on him?" I demanded as I looked away, embarrassment and anger swirling in my stomach.
"Bella, I said it was harder, not impossible. He slips Bella and, in those moments, I read a lot more than I let on. Plus, I may be a mind reader, but I don't need my gift to know you love him, Bella."
"No, I don't." I seethed "One moment of indisposed panic and weakness in front of Carlisle doesn't mean my feelings are the same. Alec may be innocent but that doesn't mean I love him" I hissed out, still staring out into the banks.
"Bella Carlisle didn't tell me anything about that, just that you were in danger, I shouldn't have given you the document because it may have put you in more danger and that Alec was sent after you and he may be involved. That's all. Anything else that may have happened I didn't know until now."
"I loath you Edward Cullen" I grumbled as I heard his slight chuckle.
"No, you don't, otherwise you wouldn't still be here, listening to my case." He stepped beside me as I felt his strong hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him. With reluctance I let him. "Bella, ever since the hospital, ever since I saw you collapse…his mind was wide open. His only concern, his only thoughts…were on you. I saw the bond, Bella. I saw his thoughts; they were jumbled and not concise, but the undertone was clear. It was love, Bella. Whether he admits it to himself or to you it was there. The mating bond is there…for both of you. I may not be able to read your mind, but your face speaks volumes. You love him too."
"I can't" I whispered
"Can't or won't" He pressed as I glared at him.
"Both, none, I don't know. It's so confusing and terrifying but I still want to be near him. To be around him. Yet I can't bring him into this. There has to be another way to keep everyone safe" I mumbled to myself. Then an idea struck me.
"Edward, that document that you gave me. The ingredients, I have most of them but I'm missing one. L'acido nel ventre della bestia" I recalled as Edward's eyes widened. "You know what that is don't you?"
"Bella whatever your thinking, it's a no"
"I won't have to go back to Volterra. I could ask for more time, enough time that maybe I could pull it off" I murmured as Edward shook his head furiously.
"Bella, no, no way, you don't know what acquiring that would take. It's against the law and if the brothers found out… no it's too risky. They would punish you to the fullest extent of the law!"
"I could keep everyone safe" I argued back as Edward shook his head, panic entering his eyes.
"And you could die before you will get the chance. There's a reason the potion was incomplete."
"And what would that be?" I challenged as Edward sighed heavily.
"Acid of the beast, Bella. Carlisle told me the story of how Didyme acquired it the first time and even then she couldn't do it" He told me gravely as I looked on confused until it hit me.
Alec's scar….
"A child of the moon?" I whispered horrified as Edward nodded. "B-but they're extinct" I mumbled as Edward shook his head.
"Not all of them. There are still a few left, but they're rare. The ones that have managed to survive this long…well there's a reason they're still alive and that's because any vampire that tried to overtake them lost."
"Surely there's a way, how did Didyme do it the first time," I asked, determined.
"Well, she had the full resources of the Volturi which included the world's best tracker and a personal guard specialty trained to handle children of the moon."
"Demetri and Alec" I supplied
"It's possible to track one however they would have to be familiar with the scent and a type of location where they might be. They could be anywhere; it could take decades and you don't have that kind of time" He argued as I pursed my lips thinking.
"You could however go to Alec. He's not as good as Demetri when it comes to tracking but he's familiar with their patterns and dens." He supplied as I shook my head furiously.
"No, I won't involve him. My feelings about him aside…I can't risk his safety. If anything were to happen…if he were to even reject me…I couldn't bear it. I couldn't handle that" I whispered. "I can't have him as my mate, I won't let it happen," I said determined as Edward sighed again.
"If anyone were to understand that line of thinking it would be me, Bella. That's what I tried to do...and look what happened. Fate has a way of always getting what it wants." He whispered as I looked down biting my lip.
"I can't let it happen" I whispered as I looked on determined to find a way.
There must be a way…
"No, no way" I heard Edward whisper before I saw Alice and Jasper appear at the top of the hill.
In a blink of an eye they were before us, Alice's smile hesitant and Jasper's determined eyes on me.
"I can help," Jasper said calmly as I blanched
"No way Jasper, you barely got out yourself and you had an army!" Edward hissed as Jasper's lips became a thin line.
"I can and I will…if Bella were to have me." He turned his cool eyes onto me as I blinked.
"Wait, what?"
"Bella, there is much you don't know about me; however, I am familiar in the ways of our enemy. I know how to track them and get you what you need."
"How?" I asked skeptically as Alice squeezed Jasper's hand.
"In order to retrieve it, there needs to be a bite to the jugular. Our venom acts as a type of tranquilizer. It will stun them long enough to retrieve what you need. We just can't get bitten or scratched ourselves as their venom is poisonous to us. You've seen what it did to Alec. We just need their venom. It's a solvent that is fireproof, however, if it meets us it will feel like fire to us. That's what makes it so dangerous."
"Acid of the beast" I whispered knowingly
"Now you know. We want to help you Bella" Alice whispered as I looked at the three of them, once my only family then my enemy, and now…my friends.
"What do we need to do?" I smiled as Edward shook his head, Alice beamed, and Jasper nodded as he said
"We get to work"
And you know that I'd
Swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
Give you my wild, give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother
Is it enough?
But there are robbers to the east
Clowns to the West
I'd give you my sunshine
Give you my best
But the rain is always gonna come
If you're standing with me
Peace – Taylor Swift
A/N: What do y'all think? Was it worth the wait? Please leave me your thoughts as I love to hear them, and the next update is Monday!
Authors Insight: So I might start doing these if I think it's needed to let y'all know the thought process behind the songs and the lyrics were chosen as I specifically do it to express what I think can be Easter eggs for the characters and what's coming.
The reason I chose "Peace" is for a lot of reasons but for the main ones I think it really summarizes what each major character is to one another at this point in the story. There's a lot of forgiveness that happened. Majorly on Bella's part and I want to be clear that she didn't have to forgive them. I mean the concept of forgiveness is hard for a lot of people, myself included, and one that I struggle with personally. However, in this instance and other instances in my life forgiveness was required for me to have some kind of peace. Although it's not the kind of peace that people generally think of, real-life can be messy and sometimes you don't get that "perfect peace" but that's okay. It's this concept when I think people mature and grow up and really think about what life really is vs what life can be, and life can be both if that makes sense. On the bottom line, it's really what you make of life. People are complicated and as such that makes peace, forgiveness and other big emotions and concepts complicated as well but in this chapter, Bella takes these complications and instead of trying to run from it or bury it down she's just confronting head-on in a way where she can have peace with not only the people she loves but have done wrong but with herself as well. It's such a beautiful concept and the main focus of this story and I was really looking forward to writing this chapter because this where you can see all the character's growth come together. You can see Alec start to open and embrace emotion. You see Bella's ability to forgive and move on. You can also see Edward's growth in realizing his mistakes and truly apologizing for them and meaning it. So when Taylor Swift released the album folklore I was really shocked and happy to see these same themes being played out in that album and when "Peace" came out I was so thrilled because the lyrics and overall tone of the song, to me anyway, does a great job of explaining and describing this concept. It's a beautiful song and I highly suggest reading this chapter again with the song playing to better the experience. – Jules