A/N: Hey everyone! Or whoever is left lol. I'm still here! Still writing this story but I've had this chapter finished for a while and its been sitting on my laptop forever so….hey might as well post it right? Some updates which is awesome! The surgery went well and recovery is almost finished but sadly finding time to write it is a struggle. My husband recently decided to go back to school which is amazing but we mutually agreed that while he's in school I'll be the one making the primary income. In between this story I'm also working on three other projects! A Halloween story featuring Bella and Jasper and a Christmas story which is another Bella and Alec. Both have been inspired from my Christmas drabble series of 2019. I've also been working on another drabble series for Christmas of this year which may or may not feature an outtake from this story. I'm always online so if you want to reach out or just tell me to hurry up you can PM me anytime and of course

Enjoy!

When You Love Someone

Chapter 37: I Still Have Me

The water splashed and rippled as I moved through the waves, Didyme's weight heavy on my back but I persisted. I didn't even want to think about the kind of damage that I was doing to my injured side as it no longer hurt – in fact it was numb. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or worried about that newest development but if I was alive now that's all that mattered.

I'll worry about dying when we weren't in danger anymore.

The water splashed near my face again as I ignored it and kept swimming, pushing my body to its limit as the blood that had sustained me had long ago run its course. Honestly, if this wasn't life or death, I would have enjoyed the refreshing swim. When I was human, I loved the beach. In Arizona, there weren't many chances, but once mom moved to Florida it was wonderful and First beach quickly became my second home in forks. Now, well…I could go without swimming for a long while. At least if I made it where I could have the opportunity to swim again.

Nope, not going there. I was going to survive this – I survived months in that prison I wasn't going to let myself die in this ocean. Sure, my body hurt and but at least I was alive for it to hurt…. thinking positive. That is until I saw the tiniest sliver of land in the horizon.

"Land" I breathed as suddenly I got a burst of energy and fed off a few more fish as I swam as hard as I could, Didyme jostling on my back as I did so. Honestly, I didn't care in that moment because land meant blood, blood meant strength and strength meant a new way to get out of this.

"Didyme!" I yelled as reached the bank and collapsed onto the sand and dirt. I felt every granial as they each slipped through my fingers and the salty air whipped my hair as I dug my hands into the earth. "We made it!" I whispered as the fiery pain ripped through my throat and I took a deep breath, the air filling my lungs with the sweet smell of blood a few paces away and the canopy of trees overhanging. Gasping I half carried, half dragged a still unconscious Didyme to the densely wooded area and as gently as I could, dropped her on the ground and I let my senses take over, too long starved of blood, I was ready for a meal.

The air smelled cleaner, fresh, and crisp with a heartbeat of a lynx not too far away and my mouth filled with venom as I hunted. Capturing the lynx was easier than I thought it was, but the blood was too little. I needed more. Eventually I will come back to this place and fully take in the scenery, appreciate the animals that lived in those woods and study the wildlife that was there, but I was too focused on satiating my long-standing thirst than to scratch that intellectual itch to know more. Right then I just needed to feed.

Only after the first twenty animals drained did the taste of sweet blood rushing down my throat fully satisfy me. I was a mess, blood splatters all over my body, hair knotted and dried with salt, blood, and dirt but I was alive, and I was free.

I was free.

Now I needed to do the same for Didyme.

I wasn't exactly sure what the poison did but her crucial lesson in the prisons served me well. Sage was the key ingredient in any healing concoction and with other medicinal herbs I could find hopefully it will be enough to awaken her.

Crushing some wild sage in my hand and mashing the plants together I lit a small fire as the smoke gently billowed up and I held it under her nose, her fingers slowly twitched as I smiled. "Come on Didyme, it's time to wake up." I whispered as I held it longer until her gasp of air had me grinning and she shot up growling as I leaped back and bent my neck in submission, showing her, I was no foe but a friend.

"Bella?" She hoarsely said as she gasped and fell to her knees as I slowly approached her and held out the sage I burned.

"Didyme" I whispered as I held her up and rested her body against the tree. "Didyme…we did it. We escaped."

"Thirsty" She mumbled as I nodded my head.

"I gotcha. Hold on I'll be right back." I urged as I quickly hunted a wolf and swiftly broke its neck hurling the body in Didyme's direction as I waited in the background, her pupils dilating as she let her own instincts take over and the hunt began, the wolf being drained quickly before she scampered away, no doubt fulfilling her own needed thirst.

Breathing out I sat on the grass as I let it sway under my fingertips, the prickle of the blades causing me to smile before a bubble of laughter busted out.

I was free.

Looking around at the lush trees and hearing the animals all around me, the waves of the water crashing into the bank I couldn't help but laugh as it fully hit me. We were free. I was free. I had survived.

My hands, which were once smooth, had burns and scars but they were still mine. I had lived to see the sun shining again. My body was mine again. My choices were mine once again. As the wind once again brushed against my face and whipped my hair, tears prickled my eyes as I was truly, miraculously free.

"Ahhh!" I yelled as I grasped my side as a sharp pain ripped through me. Collapsing on my knees I brought my hand back to see charred skin and my side felt like fire. Breathing deeply, I pushed my body against the same tree and grabbed the burnt sage, spitting crudely into my hand until a paste was formed and out of desperation slapped it onto my wound as I hissed, steam rising as I screamed.

Half my body was numb, and I didn't realize it until now. My side was engulfed in pain and the black, purple cracks had spread down to my leg, covering my knee. Oh, I was so fucked. "Didyme!" I yelled as I pinched my side trying to block off the wound as I hissed once again. "Didyme!" I panicked as some of the blackened skin fell to the ground.

Didyme came rushing back, her once black crazed eyes now a refreshing shade of yellow as they widened in fear and she rushed back, quickly making a mortar and pestle and got to work. Picking plants too fast for me to see as I hissed in pain. As she brought the bowl closer to me her whispered words of encouragement urged me to spit inside the bowl and put as much venom as I could muster as she mixed. Through my yelling the mixture quickly became a paste-like texture and she hardened her expression as she whispered that it wouldn't be pretty but it would do for now.

With a quick motion she slathered the paste on my wound as I shrieked and she tried to hold me down as more steam rose from my body.

I hollered as Didyme tried to shush me as she rubbed more of the stinging paste onto my skin.

"I know Bella, I know – I'm sorry but we have to. It needs to be held at bay. Maybe if I had my equipment but you need the balm. If we make it to the castle, I can make a more potent serum with your venom, but this must do. At least for now, the poison was made from venom, so it needs venom to counteract it." She explained as the searing pain dissipated and my cracked skin was held together by brush.

"This will hold but take this for the pain." She instructed as mint and sage were stuffed in my mouth as the juices seeped onto my tongue and the burning pain soon turned into a dull ache.

"Thank you" I sighed as I held my injured side gingerly, but Didyme slowly shook her head.

"It's I who should be thanking you." She said softly. "We are free women Bella. I am free. I can touch the grass, and smell the air again. Feel the wind in my hair. I am Didyme and for the first time in centuries …I can go home." Didyme then hugged me, in all her feeble strength and I reveled in the feeling of astute, complete freedom.

"We can go home." I repeated as I quietly looked around and now that the adrenaline of freedom has worn down, I just now wondered "How are we going to go home?"

Didyme then took a step back as uncertainty washed over her features, the reality of the situation hitting us hard. "We survived hell, surely we can find a way back to paradise." Didyme uttered as I sat down, the leaves shifting and my skin stretching over the healing wound.

"Where Aro might be waiting." I murmured as Didyme frowned.

"We can't risk it. Italy is our home, but Aro is still there; he would know that we would return and I'm sure he's ready when we do. Then were either killed or – "

"Or back in prison" Didyme shuddered as she smoothed her hair, her fingers fidgeting with the dry strands. "I would rather die than be taken back and Stefan must have guards looking for us by now." Didyme muttered softly as I looked up sadly.

"We won't go back. We just got out, but we must be smart. Freedom means nothing if we can't do anything worthwhile with it." I said as I looked around at the brush and tried to recall my measly geography. I knew I should have paid better attention in class.

"Maybe…..maybe if we make our way towards humans we'll have more information on our location. I may have been kept away but with your knowledge of today's new world I'm confident in my ability to translate with the locals." Didyme suggested as I bit my lip, butterflies moving in my stomach at the thought of being so close to humans, venom pulling in my mouth. However, what other choice did we have? We had no money, no plans, and no resources with a target on our backs. We were screwed if we stayed in one place for too long.

"I can try to shield us; I have blood in my system now. It's enough to get us some decent clothes and maybe a place to come up with our next move. Even if we weren't thirsty, people don't usually play nice with naked strangers at this time." I mused as I had grown used to being in our naked state but if we're going back into 21st civilization, we had to dress…normal.

"Stay close to me, I can shield us but if something were to happen, I can block you. We can't have any accidents being reported." I murmured as my skin prickled, the power of my shield making itself known and I smiled as I breathed in a gasp of air and the shimming glass appeared over our skin, like a piece of plastic that was perfectly molded to us.

"Very good Bella" Didyme muttered as I smiled in response. "This should be an interesting place. I am…eager to see how the world has changed." Didyme smiled softly as I laughed softly, my own excitement and nerves collapsing as we set off to see the world we had clawed our way back to.

Turns out Didyme was right on the money when she thought of following her nose to where humans gathered. It was a small town in the middle of the woodsy area we had landed in. It was a bit of luck that some kind people had their laundry drying outside and soon Didyme and I were clothed. Observing the woman, some had beautiful head scarves adorned and knotted around their heads and following the lead of the locals we did so as well.

After one more hunting trip, feeding until we were more than saturated, we made our way into the village, locals smiling kindly at us, their darkened skin glowing in the sunlight as we smiled back from the shadows. I was just happy that wherever we were they celebrated modesty in clothes so at least we could walk somewhat freely.

"It's fascinating at the advancement of humans." Didyme murmured beside me as I pickpocketed what I could and made a mental note of everyone I took from so I could return what I took tenfold. I hated stealing but we needed to get out of here.

"Huh?" I murmured as Didyme was enthralled by the activity around us, her eyes landing on a group of women where she was eyeing a girl with long hair and was laughing at something her friend said.

"Is it common now for women to wear breeches so freely if not in the military?" She asked as I looked back to the girl and noticed she was wearing a pair of worn jeans.

Trying not to laugh I smiled and nodded my head. "Woman had made significant leaps and bounds since you were free in the world. We are independent of men; we don't need their permission to do much anymore. In fact…. most of the world's leaders are women." I said proudly as Didyme beamed.

"And what of stations? Are there slaves still? Is the caste system still in effect or is paler skin more prized?" She asked as I paused, trying to think of a response. I mean in my defense I didn't know how to phrase world politics and societal expectations in one sentence.

"The idea of slaves is frowned upon now, sadly there are still some people who are misguided and think it might be better back then, but the majority of people hate the idea of slaves. Paler skin in certain parts of the world is viewed better, sometimes where they may get better terms on money loans or easier times getting an opportunity but for the most part, equality is very much present. If that behavior is present society isn't very kind to those who still cling to that idea. It's not very nice to have it in practice but in the United States for instance, we have a black president." I mentioned as Didyme turned to me shocked.

"A black president? What is a president?" Didyme asked as I raised my eyebrows and mentally slapped myself. The idea of presidents didn't come until the 1700's and she was taken before that 'idiot' I chided myself.

"Um the president is the title of the leader of a democratic nation or country. In the United States for example the people of the country vote for an individual to lead them and this person becomes the leader of the country, at least for a period of time." I tried to explain as Didyme slowly nodded.

"Much like the natives did in the Americas and the Greeks in the euro nations?" She asked as I nodded my head.

"Exactly" I smiled as we continued to walk, and I gave Didyme some of the money I swiped. Ugh still not happy about that. "Didyme, you mentioned that you could possibly tell where we were by the language. Can you read that?" I asked as I tried to make out the words and symbols but had no clue what I was looking at, much less where to read.

"Oh! This is similar to what the Osman had in their capitals." Didyme said easily as she studied the paper and I looked back to the money.

"Osmans? Like the Ottoman empire?" I asked awed as I stared down once again.

"Yes, in the west the people were often called the ottoman Turks or osmans in the east." Didyme explained as my head spun.

"We're in Turkey!" I gasped as I looked around and the long sleeves and skirts suddenly became obvious. I really needed to pay more attention in class, I felt so uncultured.

"Turkey?" Didyme repeated as I shook my head and the little geography I knew came rushing back.

"Yes…we are far from Kansas Toto" I recited as Didyme became more confused.

"Toto? What's a toto?"

"Never mind" I muttered "I'll explain later. We need a map." Looking around there were some people in what looked like a restaurant, and I got an idea.

"Didyme….can you speak the language? Do you remember?" I asked as she nodded.

"It's a bit rough but my Turkish should be understood." She said as I smiled.

"Good, because I think we have enough for a plane ticket." I said as Didyme turned to me.

"Bella what's a plane? How would that help us?" She asked as my brain was firing ideas left and right.

"A plane is a giant metal device that is capable of flight. It can make a month's journey into a few days and can transport us discreetly without anyone knowing. If we're in Turkey, then we aren't far from Italy or even Romania but going back would be a mistake. Before I was taken you know I was on trial and if Aro is still in power we wouldn't be able to go back on our own but….I have more than one home. If I can find a one-way flight, I can take us to Canada where we can run down to Alaska. I have friends in America. We wouldn't be able to go to Washington as Aro knows where to look for us there but Alaska….the Cullen's had friends there where they will be our friends too." I hastily explained as Didyme tried to keep up with this onslaught of information.

"Bella…plane? Forks? Alaska? I don't know these places….are you sure they are safe? Can we trust these friends of yours? Of Carlisle's?" She asked nervously as I nodded my head.

"I would trust them with my life." I said seriously as Didyme turned to look at the ground.

"You would have too Tesoro (Treasure)." She murmured as she looked back to me. "I can't risk it Bella, I've been waiting for a time I could be with my Marcus again but what you ask of me….I do not know this world. I have my chance to meet with him again and I –"

"and you could just as easily be in prison again." I interrupted seriously as I grabbed her trembling hands. "Didyme I know this is a lot to ask. To trust me to guide you in this world but just as I trusted you in the beginning, I ask you to trust me in this. Aro is fickle, we are at every disadvantage right now. We need allies and a place to regroup. Carlisle will help us and I know others who will too. We have gone through too much to let fear keep us down now."

Didyme shifted her eyes away as there was a couple who was getting up from their table and heading to the door. I looked back to Didyme as she eyed the same couple and she looked back to me quickly whispering "What do I need to say?"

I smiled as I whispered lowly "Excuse me but I am new here. Where is the closest airport?" Didyme quickly nodded as she introduced us, her easy charm making them instantly friendly towards us and to my satisfaction, we didn't need Didyme's translations. In English, they explained that the airport was just a town over.

"Merciful God" Didyme whispered as her eyes widened as we entered the building and she caught sight of the plane that was taking off.

"Is that a….a plane?" She asked as I nodded as she took in our surroundings. "That is astounding. So much accomplished in the time I've been gone." She muttered as I adjusted my headscarf, adjusting my hair underneath the fabric.

"You're telling me, and soon we will be with friends." I said as we moved to our seats.

"This is so fascinating. How is this machine capable of flight?" She asked as I paused putting on my seatbelt for appearance's sake and Didyme copying my movements fluidly.

"Um, honestly I'm not sure. I know it has something to do with the giant propellors. There is fuel, similar to coal that powers the machine, and it lifts off." I explained

"Interesting…how else have humans improved? There are multiple people here, each different. Why do some wear jewelry on their left hand and why do others kiss the opposite sex in public?" She asked as I eyed a couple three rows down from us, the two men speaking lowly to each other as he reached over and kissed his husband's cheek.

"Typically if you're married you wear a ring to symbolize your marriage and in todays times being homosexual or gay is socially acceptable. Although there are some countries with laws against it and actively fighting it, typically being Gay now isn't faced with punishment." I explained as I thought of the complexities of it all but stuck with the basics. Love is love anyway you slice it and judging from Didyme's smile she knew it too.

"I'm happy to see Gay acceptance. I had friends who loved the same sex but they had to be careful. I hope they survived the war." she mumbled as her brow creased and I gripped her hand.

"We'll find out eventually. We'll see our loved ones soon." I said as I strained my shield even more and I thought of Alec.

"You're nervous." Didyme stated as I looked towards her and shook my head.

"No, not nervous. Just…trying to focus on my shield" I lied as Didyme softly smiled.

"And you're nervous. I admit the same fear in my heart is there, but bravery is doing something despite it. Bravery comes in many forms. You've convinced me to come on this flying machine…surely you can open your heart for a conversation?"

"I – I mean, I'm not….I really am concentrating, there's more people than I thought there would be." I covered as my shield strained and suddenly the onslaught of smells disappeared and the scent now was Didyme's.

"And yet you still cower. Bella something is wrong."

Sighing I bit my lip as I looked out the window. "It's just….been so long." I whispered "What would they think or believe when they see me again? See you again? I mean, it's just…I guess I'm just now realizing where we're going."

"You're worried about them seeing you again? You mentioned they were friends…" Didyme led on, accusation in her voice as I quickly shook my head.

"Yes, please don't misunderstand me. They are friends….really they are Carlisle's family. In the…the prison when, I uh, talked about my friends it was Carlisle's family. People who share his mindset and are animal drinkers. This would be the first time I see them, a lot of them, in a while. Edward wasn't the only one I had a rocky relationship with and although Alice and Jasper helped me its still daunting to be around them and now….I mean I'm battered and bruised and all kinds of messed up." I breathed out as Didyme slowly nodded in understanding as her expression softened and my breathing came in quick gasps.

"I mean, it's not like Rose and I ever got along before and now here I am coming in the worst shape of my life and Alec…..oh god." I fidgeted as tried to steady my breath and my fingers started to tingle. Gulping venom I grabbed a lock of my hair twisting in between my fingers and begging my body to calm itself but it seemed the calmer I tried, the shakier I became.

"Bella….mi tesoro finche c'e vita c'e Speranza" Didyme replied, confident in her voice as I was momentarily taken out of my musings.

"What? I don't know what you said." I asked breathlessly as she placed her hands on my shoulder and the weight on my chest grew heavy.

"Bella…. where there is life, there is hope. We cannot forget this lesson. We survived Bella, we survived one more day. We are here in this wondrous flying contraption, something that was incomprehensible when I was taken and now….now we're using the advancement of man to get us home. Mi Tesoro, you are a treasure, you helped me. Now I help you. I know you are scared. There is no shame in fear, I'm scared too. I'm scared that the woman I am now…. will be too different for my family to love." Didyme admitted softly as I held in a gasp and tried to stomp down my own, all too similar, thoughts.

"We have suffered much; we did not come back unscathed." Didyme explained as I tried to stop the sudden prickle of tears.

"I don't know why I'm thinking this." I whispered as the bands continued to tighten and loosen around my lungs. "I knew we needed to go somewhere; I knew we needed to get back but now - now that we're actually doing it. That we're out, and free and we must go back…I don't know. I want to feel happy; I want to feel excited but…I don't. I-I'm scared. I focused so much on what I would do when I returned. How I would be happy and fulfilled and the future that I wanted so badly but now it's happening and it's not in my head anymore. It's really here and in a few hours, what was in my head is something that could happen but the scariest thing is that it couldn't…. or it could. I don't know. How messed up is it when your scared of your own happiness?" I ranted as I swiped at my eyes.

"I mean, all I wanted was to think about the future when we were, you know…back there" I rambled as Didyme nodded in understanding. "I didn't want to think about the past but for some reason its all I can think about now. We left but….I can't forget. I want to leave my memories behind, think about hope but I don't think the past is going to let me forget it. It seems its going to have influence in whatever future I'm trying to build." I whispered as Didyme hugged me, the surprise left me stunned but soon my eyes welled in unshed tears, and I squeezed her tight.

"Bella…its okay. You are strong. You are loved. You are not shamed in your feelings. I have them too. The fear is real. What we experienced was real and now….now we go home and face reality. Nothing is more fearsome than the truth mi amore, but we have each other and despite the lies our minds tell us….we have our family too. We have our future ahead of us Bella, we can't let fear take it from us now." Didyme whispered as I nodded my head against her shoulder and for once in a very long time – I felt human again.

The flight that usually felt too long landed in too short of time. The Alaskan chill whipped my hair and the snowfall danced in the wind. Didyme and I carefully maneuvered away from the crowd and the energy it took having my shield up all that time had taken its toll on me. I was emptied out and knew I had to hunt soon.

Thankfully the snow covered our tracks well and no one was the wiser as I had my fill of the wildlife that surrounded the Denali's home. Now all that was left of facing the Denali's themselves and…whoever else was there.

I couldn't lie to myself (at least not at that moment anyways) I was scared. I'm sure if I still had my heartbeat, it would be racing right now, but then again maybe it would have stopped altogether. It didn't take a genius to distinguish the scent of the Denali and a shorter trip than I had planned until we reached the familiar stretch of road that led to their home.

"I know you trust them Bella, but still remain on guard" Didyme said as we slowly approached the house.

"Oh, don't worry about me, I've had my guard up since we left the airport." I replied as my hands shook, I dared not smell the air. I didn't want to know who was there. Not until the last second. Not until I couldn't avoid it anymore.

Because then I could pretend it wasn't real.

The snowy path was unfamiliar to me but the snowbanks from all those months ago were clear and I couldn't resist it anymore so I sniffed the air and Edward's scent hit me first. Pine, lemon, and oak all mixed together to create a spicy woodsy scent along with two others that were surprising.

"What – " I whispered as Didyme looked to me curious

"What is Mi Teseoro?"

"There's…..there's friends here." I whispered as I led her along the path as the house came into view. Suddenly there was activity among the house as gasps were heard from the inside and I pulled Didyme to a stop, my body moving on its own accord as I simply stared at the figures that slowly emerged and she covered her mouth in shock.

"….Bella?" She whispered as tears were in her eyes and I gulped back venom.

"Hi Rose" I replied softly "I'm back"

I don't have much but at least I still have me
And that's all I need
So take my faith but at least I still believe

And that's all I need
I don't have much but at least I still have me

I still have me – Demi Lovato

A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! I'm actively working hard on this series and I'm really hoping I'll have the whole thing done by October so I can I just update and post. Believe me when I say when I post again y'all will be getting multiple updates a week. Y'all have waited enough lol. Thank you so much for sticking with this story and I will see you all soon!