3/14 - White Day
Goro
Early in the morning, I stopped by Nitori's to get a couple things, including a pistol upgrade I paid her for, before making my way to the Samaon homestead. Once I arrived, I saw Kana already out front talking with her mother, and so went over to speak with them.
"Kana will be in your care today," Shinon said. "I'm sure you two will have a good time, but I do know things can get crazy at the Shrine sometimes."
"I'm sure me and Reimu will keep any troublemakers in line," I smiled. "Besides, I do have experience accompanying women, although Sae-san was the type of person who didn't need to be escorted."
Shinon chuckled. "Well, alright then. You two have a wonderful day,"
"We will," Kana said.
We started by walking down the path in the direction of the Shrine, at least until we could no longer be seen from the farm. Our cover story was that we'd be visiting Reimu at the Shrine, a story that Reimu, Marisa and some others agreed to corroborate. Once we were in a safe place, I revealed a cloaking device from Nitori. Once activated, a hexagonal barrier surrounded the two of us.
"Whoa… what is this?" Kana asked.
"This will make us invisible to everyone else," I explained. "I've already tested it to make sure it works."
"Oh… well, alright…"
It took a while to walk around the lake and arrive at the mansion's front steps. It reminded me of just how big Gensokyo actually was, as I had become accustomed to simply flying everywhere at high speed by now. It was a lovely day: the sky was clear, the air was clean and crisp, and the first vestiges of spring slowly emerged from beneath the piles of snow bleeding water into muddy puddles. In the trees, small animals were coming out of hibernation, and were on the hunt for food. Fairies played in the meadows, and in the waters above the Misty Lake, the rim of which bore a long but thin crust of ice. Youkai Mountain was draped in snow, and a verdant blanket of forest sprawled out from its base.
As we approached the mansion, I could see Kana looking on, seeming out of both awe and apprehension, at the imposing estate at the shore of the lake, whose clock tower loomed over everything around it and whose perimeter fence gave the impression of a fortress. We circled around to the front entrance, where Meiling stood on one leg atop the wall, practicing tai-chi.
"Good morning, Meiling-san," I said.
Meiling jumped down from the wall right in front of us, which startled Kana. "Welcome. I see the famed Akechi-san has finally arrived," she said, attempting to sound dramatic.
"I-I wasn't expecting that!" Kana said, still surprised.
"Ha! I have trained in martial arts for centuries! I am attuned to the force and ki of all living things. I move as swiftly as a monsoon wind, and strike with the force of a mighty wave!"
"Yeah, but didn't Sakuya stab ya' that one time for lookin' like you were sleepin' on the job?" came Marisa's voice. We looked around, and saw her hanging upside-down in the air above Meiling.
Meiling slumped her shoulders. "...can we please not talk about that? Besides, you are-"
"Invited today, as per Akechi-san's request for every girl that gave him chocolate last month," said Sakuya, who instantly appeared beside me.
"Whoa!" Me and Kana jumped back. "You spooked us!"
Sakuya shook her head, then looked at Marisa. "Fashionably late as always, aren't we?"
"Only because I had to go get Rei outta bed," Marisa answered. "She should be just a bit behind me."
"I will take your word for it," Sakuya bowed. She turned to Kana. "Greetings. I apologize for not properly introducing myself. I am Sakuya Izayoi. I serve the lady of this estate."
Kana paused, then said, "h-hi. I'm… I'm Kana… Kana Samaoun. I come from the village…"
Sakuya bowed again, then turned to me. "I must say, you've invited quite the group today. Most of them are already here. Follow me. I will guide you downstairs."
"Thank-you, Izayoi-san," I said.
Once again, we were guided downstairs. Kana kept close to me, still nervous about being inside the mansion, the subject of endless rumors among the townspeople. Her apprehension only grew as we passed by the library doors and into the underground passages, as fairy maids and hobgoblin workers filed back and forth, and especially as we passed by the ominously labeled door on the way to the indoor beach. Right at the end stood Keine, arms crossed and with an amused look on her face.
"Keine?" Kana said.
Keine smirked. "Well, well, well. You've really done it this time, Goro. You've gone and charmed so many ladies and pulled all these strings to get us all here today. You're really quite a talented man."
"Nonsense," I said. "I am merely repaying a favor for all the giri-chocos I received from all of you. Haven't you heard? The return gift must be three times the value of the original."
"Yes, but to convince Remilia of all people to do this? You really…" She shrugged. "Well, good job, I suppose. I guess I was wrong to ever assume you'd struggle to thrive here. Now then…" she looked at Kana. "I know you must be very nervous, but it looks like he's done a good job taking care of you."
"Indeed," Kana said. "He's quite the gentleman, isn't he? I'm sure there are some people who could stand to learn a thing or two from him, like-"
"Oi, comin' through!" Marisa said, guiding a bleary-eyed Reimu through the hall. Once again, Reimu's hair was all over the place and she didn't even have her bow or hair tubes. However… it was a bit hard to tell in the dark hallway, but I could tell something was very different.
"Reimu," I asked, "is your hair… is it a bit lighter today?"
"Mmmh," Reimu groaned. "Color ran out today. Didn't have time to change it."
Color? Did that mean she… Did she dye her hair somehow? Usually, it was stark black, but today it was definitely brown. And she said that the color "ran out"... did that mean her hair was usually brown?
"Hmph." Keine frowned. "Has someone been shirking her job lately? You're not setting a very good example for the Villagers, including this one here."
"Fairies stayed up late partying hard," Reimu said. "Had to clean up their mess. Also have a prisoner to take care of now."
Keine thought for a moment. "Ah, yes, the prisoner. I haven't met him yet, but…"
"Oh yes, Reimu-san has been keeping a man locked up who tried to destroy the barrier somehow?" Kana said.
"Somethin' like that," Marisa said. "C'mon, let's get in there."
I waited outside while the girls got changed, facing down the corridor and seeing the hobgoblins gossip while carrying out wine barrels and bottles to put into storage.
"I heard Sulley got slapped with Flan duty after he was caught drinking the dark ale."
"Oh shit, you mean the good beer? I mean, I know the Mistress guards it jealously, but I didn't think she'd punish us with that. "
"Yeah, we can't even get anything good around here even if we do everything perfectly. And then this asshole over here comes and makes her let him use the beach and he even invited a buncha girls. Thinks he's hot stuff."
"I'll be sure to let her know you said that," I smiled. They tensed up and hurried down the hall out of sight.
Finally, the door clicked open and I was allowed into the locker room to change into the swimming trunks I had found the other day. I made sure to do it in a sheltered corner, just in case one of the girls decided to barge back in because she had forgotten something. Now, I will confess something: I had never visited the beach much in my life. None of my foster parents ever took me, and by the time I was able to go on my own, I didn't have friends with which to enjoy the day with, or any time at all between school and work to spare the time to go down to Miura in the summertime to take in the breeze, the sun, the cerulean waves, the laughter of kids playing in the water and making sandcastles, and the soft, shifting sand in between my toes.
In other words, I was jumping right into the "beach episode" of the harem anime with no prior experience.
I sighed as I reached for the door, but knew that if I went in with anything less than complete confidence that it would ruin the mood, especially as I had invited everyone here because of White Day. So I took a breath, and after some hesitation opened the door and went "outside."
Once I was through, the first thing that hit me was the warm wave cast off by the fake sun illuminating the "sky." The second thing I noticed was all the different sets of eyes belonging to girls in all manner of different swimsuit styles staring right at me.
"Er…"
"Oh wow."
"..."
"Ayayaya…"
"So that's… ah…"
Apparently, none of them had seen a young man without a shirt before, and I do have to admit I had quite the muscle tone going on from all that police and detective work, as well as all the running, jumping and, well, killing I did in the Metaverse. And I realized that this was the first time I had seen any of them in anything less than underneath a layer of puffy and exotic outfits, much less swimsuits, and it left me wondering who and where in Gensokyo was making bikinis. There was quite the range, too: Nitori was in something that was clearly a school swimsuit with the name of the school removed, Mamiko had shorts and a tank top, Kana and Reimu wore a matching scarlet set since I guessed the had about the same proportions, while Aya and Byakuren were willing to be "daring," which surprised me in Byakuren's case given how she usually presented herself. Also, each of their swimsuits had design schemes matching their most commonly worn outfits. The only exception was Sakuya, who was still wearing her maid outfit, albeit with barefoot sandals instead of her usual shoes.
"Welcome, Akechi-san," Sakuya bowed. "As you can see, we have prepared this place so that we can provide the best experience for you and your guests."
"Er… yes, indeed," I said.
Mokou looked around. "I dunno what you did to arrange this, but good job."
"I think someone definitely won the game," Rika said.
"Nonsense," I dismissed. "I am merely repaying favors to friends who gave me chocolate."
"I mean, yeah, it's nice that you're repaying the favor," Marisa said, before looking at Remilia, who was being fanned by hobgoblins while sipping out of a coconut half. "But we didn't expect 'ya to get Remilia to let all of us into her beach!"
"I can't believe this place actually exists," Kana said, still probably wondering what kind of rabbit hole she had gotten herself into.
Keine smirked. "I'm just surprised you're not stealing looks here and there. Especially," she glanced at Aya and Byakuren, "given how some of us are dressed today."
"I'm not a sheltered, bald-headed middle-aged pervert," I said, cock-eyed. "And I certainly didn't earn my fame Outside by acting unprofessionally around girls and women."
Keine giggled. "Well, I suppose so." She glanced at Marisa, who appeared to be leering at people's butts. "I guess you're not the one I should be concerned about."
"Indeed," I affirmed. I looked around some more, just to see if anyone was missing. I saw Reisen in the corner, chatting with her close friend Youmu. When she realized I was looking toward her, she quickly looked away, and I felt kind of awkward myself, given what had happened merely two days ago. I decided to just leave her be for now, and focus my attention on, maybe, perhaps, relaxing and having a good time.
Within the hour, the massive group had all settled into their own niches. I jumped in and out of conversations here and there, attempting to mingle and be a good host. Remilia maintained her "queen" demeanor as she sipped fine wine with Yuyuko, Keine was playing lifeguard while several girls were out swimming in the "ocean," Mokou and Kaguya were engaged in a drinking contest while Rika and Alice took bets on who would win, Rika and Nitori were showing each other various mechanical gizmos and Reimu and Kana were off to the side chatting. I also noticed that Lavenza was off to the side watching the whole thing unfold, seemingly to provide me with a brief break in the action if I so desired as well as to supervise Rika. Marisa, meanwhile, seemed to focus on putting herself in situations where she could clandestinely ogle butts, especially Reimu's but also sneaking glimpses of Aya's and Byakuren's here and there. Curiously, she wasn't trying to catch sight of me, but I felt like there were reasons for that. Frankly, I didn't care. I was just acting carefully to ensure no misunderstandings happened between me and anyone else-
"She's quite the troublemaker, isn't she?" Sakuya said suddenly.
"Whoa!" I turned around and there she was. "Really, how do you do that?"
She shook her head. "Marisa has always been like that. She takes whatever catches her interest, and does not act at all ladylike. She cannot control her impulses at all."
"I can see that," I said. "I take it you've known her for quite some time?"
"Ever since that day when milady created the scarlet mist," she said. "She is very, very troublesome and dishonest, yet so willing to speak her mind without regard to decency or manners. I blame the fact that she ran away from home as a child and had no mother to guide her."
"I suppose," I said. "But, she does very much march to the beat of her own drum, and she's a hard worker."
"I'll say," Alice said, breaking into the conversation. "I've known her ever since she was a child."
"How are they doing?" I asked, looking at Mokou and Kaguya who were now sprawled out across the sand, absolutely trashed.
"Well, I lost the bet," Alice sighed. "Kaguya blacked out half a second before Mokou did. Rika doesn't even need the money, I think she's got more than even Remilia has." She looked at Sakuya. "No offense."
"None taken," Sakuya bowed.
Alice looked back at me. "But yes, I have known her since she was little. She was just a tiny thing back then, but she stood out to me because of her honey gold hair and bright eyes, and she was full of energy." She smiled. "I remember her saying that my dolls were cute, and I was pretty. I was very flattered. She also told me she liked watching the stars, so I took her out on a clear night and I helped her identify some of the stars and constellations in the sky with my telescope and star charts. That was my first real experience with Marisa. Then of course a couple years later she watched that meteor shower at Kourindou, and that's what got her interested in magic. Ever since then, she's been obsessed with it. I even gave her advice and tips, and watched as she cast her first spells." Her smile and gaze then took on an affronted look. "And then… she grew up, for lack of a better term. And she became a liar and a thief. And she got annoying. And she started steal- er, sorry, borrowing me and Patchouli's books and never giving them back, on the twisted logic that she'll die soon anyway. Which, given her approach to magic, I think will be sooner, rather than later."
"Is that so?" I smirked. "And yet somehow you're still willing to put up with her antics."
"Oh, well, I mean… I've never had children, obviously, so, ah, I guess you could say that I took it upon myself to try and steer her down the right path. Try being the operative word. And as abrasive as she can be at times, she's still more approachable than Patchouli." She paused, then turned to Sakuya. "Speaking of which, you did mention that Marisa hasn't been trying to come over recently? To, you know, 'borrow' from the library?"
"Indeed, she has not been over to visit since at least Christmas," Sakuya said. "It sounds like Mr. Goro over here has become her newest object of fixation. And I do not believe she would be able to enter the library even if she did come, as Patchouli-sama's reclusive tendencies have taken a turn for the worse recently. Not even the Mistress has been able to enter whenever she wants."
"Is that so?" Alice wondered. "Perhaps she's working on some sort of big project and she doesn't want anyone to interfere? It wouldn't be the first time she's done that. Then, once she's done, she'll open it back up, maybe?"
Sakuya nodded. "I hope, but I fear her behavior could cause her to forget to maintain the mansion's heating, power, and water supply."
"I… see," Alice mused, perhaps realizing what might actually be going on here. Given how Patchouli was characterized, I wasn't suspicious enough yet to pursue her as a possible target, especially since we had just established Seiga as our next big one, but it was worth keeping in mind.
"Whatcha guys talkin' about?" Marisa asked as she came over.
"We were discussing the practical applications of werewolf fangs in meat butchering," Sakuya said, matter-of-factly and bowing.
"Ah, so just the usual borin' shit?" Marisa replied.
"We were also remarking on how you were practicing your assassination techniques," I commented.
"Er, I wasn't-" Marisa started to say, before flushing red, kneeling over, and burying her face in the sand, all while Reimu and Kana were watching and trying not to laugh at such a lame, crude joke and the sight of Marisa being busted. Apparently, she wasn't fooling anyone.
A little while later, Remilia raised her hand and called two servants over, each holding either end of a pair of metal rods with netting wrapped around them. I knew this could only mean one thing: the centerpiece of any good fanservice-laden beach episode…
"Time for my favorite part of any day at the Scarlet Devil Indoor Beach," Remilia proclaimed. "My very own Philosopher's Volleyball! Everyone who wishes to participate, please organize yourselves into two teams of six."
After some discussion, we did as she asked, and created two teams on either side of the net, while Aya flew above and got ready to film the game. I managed to round up a team consisting of myself, Marisa, Reisen, Kaguya, Alice, and Nitori. The other side included Reimu, Kana, Mokou, Mamiko, Youmu and Byakuren. With the teams set, Remilia produced the ball, a shimmering, crimson orb.
"Here are the rules of the game," she explained. "I will serve this ball onto a random side, and you all will take turns hitting it over to the other side. Invalid moves will cause it to disappear and a penalty will be applied; you lose if you have three penalties."
"Seems easy to understand," Mokou said.
"Also, the ball is a bomb," Remilia continued. "If it hits the sand, it will explode, and you lose the round."
"Wait, what?" Kana exclaimed, apparently not having enough reasons to freak out.
Marisa groaned. "Leave it to Remilia to put explosions into everythin'."
"I can only guess that this whole thing is designed to entertain her," Alice said.
Without warning, Remilia tossed the ball into the court, right at me. Instinctively, I bumped the ball toward the other side, and the game began. A list of fouls appeared on the wall, such as no flying, no spell cards, no special powers, and no using wild animals to intercept it (?). Strangely, fouls from real volleyball, such as four hits, assisted hits and foot faults were not listed, implying that the whole thing was just an excuse for Remilia to watch people play hot-potato with a magical bomb. Granted, that was probably for the better, since I was the only person there who seemed to actually know how to play volleyball, and everyone else just kind of did whatever the hell they wanted to try and keep the thing in the air and on the other side. Reisen hit it over with a flash kick, Mamiko was allowed to use a steel pipe to bat it over, Nitori slapped it using a mechanical arm with a white glove, and Byakuren jumped and spiked the ball (with time seemingly slowing down in my mind to emphasize the jiggle physics like in a real beach episode) which Kaguya was able to block due to apparently being made of the same material Nintendo 64s were made out of. Meanwhile, Kana seemed to catch onto how I was hitting the ball, going for blocks and spikes, and tried her best to copy it.
"Take this!" Marisa said, punching the ball over the net.
"Nah, I don't think so!" Reimu dared. She got into position, primed and ready to spike it…
"WOO! BEACH PARTY!"
"Gaah!" Reimu got spooked, reflexively batting the ball to the side, causing it to land at Tenshi's feet. After a brief moment, the ball exploded, scattering sand and leaving Tenshi covered in soot.
"Oh no!" Kana exclaimed, rushing over.
"Miss Celestial," Sakuya said politely. "I don't recall you being invited to this event."
Tenshi shook off the soot, unscarred and undaunted. "Nonsense! If I see a party, I join it! That's just how I roll, especially if my friends are here!"
"...you're not hurt?" Kana asked.
"It'll take much more than that firecracker to leave a dent on me!" Tenshi proclaimed. "If you require proof, hit me with your best shot!"
"Wait, er…"
"Just do it!" Tenshi said, puffing up her chest.
Kana hesitated. "Well… alright," she gulped. She then smacked Tenshi down to the ground with a haymaker.
The rest of us were stunned. "Jeez laweez," Rika said.
"That was one hell of a punch," Mokou said.
Kana stepped back. "Ah, er… s-sorry, Tenshi-san, I-"
Tenshi got back up and laughed. "Ohoho, you got some muscle on you for a Village girl!"
"Well, I do live on a farm, and I've carried heavy items and hay bales all by myself…"
"And that's why I like you!" Tenshi smiled. "You know the value of hard work, unlike those lazy better-than-you's up in Heaven!" She wrapped her arm around Kana's shoulders. "You just gotta loosen up a little! Have some fun, will you?"
Reimu came over, arms crossed. "Welcome to the wild side of Gensokyo, Kana. Enjoy your stay."
"I… can see that," Kana said, unsure.
"Who wants something to drink?" Rika asked everyone. "I got beer, the good stuff, imported from American brewers!"
"Oh, me, me!" several girls said.
"Don't drink too much!" Keine reminded everyone. But most everyone else ignored her, jumping into the cases of Coors like it was the elixir of life, leaving myself, Kana, Byakuren, Marisa, Keine, Marisa, Mamiko, Remilia and Yuyuko. Even Sakuya, refined as she was, took a moment to cut and mix herself a margarita on Remilia's blessing, before coming over to partake in observing the horde swarm over the bottled essence of the Rockies.
"You're not going to join them?" I asked Marisa.
"Nah, Imma just sit back and watch Alice get wasted, if only so I can rub in her face that I had to carry her back," she replied. "'Sides, I gotta get on some research tonight, and I sure as hell ain't gonna get any work done if I'm shitfaced."
"Marisa, watch your mouth!" Keine scolded. "There's children here!"
"I'm not really a child," Kana said.
"Still, she knows better than to talk like that!"
I looked over at Byakuren next. "And… I didn't want to remark on it before, but that's quite the outfit you have on today."
Byakuren looked down. "It was suggested by my acolytes…"
"'Ya really gotta keep those jokers on a short leash," Marisa said. "I've been to their drinkin' dates and it ain't pretty." She looked at Mamiko. "Also, it might not look like it, but I was breathin' down Alice's neck when she was working on her swimsuit. 'Cause otherwise, if you let Alice design a bikini, you might not realize it even exists, if you get my drift."
"Not only that, but there are subtle… differences between me, a living doll, and a flesh-and-blood person," Mamiko explained. "I wanted it to hide those differences as much as possible, so that I didn't stand out."
"My, my," Yuyuko chuckled. "You have quite the standards, for someone who so obviously ogles backsides."
"Hey, they were all good views!" Marisa insisted. She just says it out loud, I'm sure we all thought, based on everyone's shocked expressions. "What else do you expect when everyone's wearin' skimpy outfits?"
Keine sighed. "This is what happens when no one is around to hold you accountable and teach you manners. Must I take you for a day and show you how to be a proper lady?"
"Believe me, I have tried and tried," Sakuya said between sips. "I believe she is just naturally crass and stubborn."
"But still the best friend anyone can have," Remilia complimented. "I have seen her with all sorts of different people. Her and Reimu in particular have a close bond, and it seems like you and her are getting along quite well."
"Indeed," I said. "She and Reimu were among my first friends here."
"About that…" Marisa stared at me for a second, then leaned forward, grabbing either side of my hips.
"Ah!?"
"What the hell do you have going on here?" she asked cannily. "These hips don't belong to a guy. These are ladies hips, my friend. In fact, if it weren't for that hecking pack on your chest, I'd wager you could easily pass for a-"
*bop*
"Knock it off," Kana said, bonking Marisa on the head.
"Owowow…" Marisa covered her head. "Don't be so rough with me, I'm a delicate flower~"
"Would you like to come home and shovel manure with me?" Kana asked, having now accepted the situation and rolling with it. "We could certainly use a hand or two."
"I have heard that the smell of animal manure is quite foul," came a voice.
"Yes, it's quite-" then we looked around, until we saw an unexpected guest next to Yuyuko, staring at the alcoholic debauchery on the other side of the room.
"Wha- who the hell are you?!" Marisa asked.
She turned and did a curtsey. "My name is Lavenza. I am Rika's chaperone."
"Mm, she certainly needs one, it appears," Sakuya said, as Rika, now smashed beyond belief, tried filling Evil Eye Sigma's fuel tank with booze.
Yuyuko leaned over. "Oooh, you're so small."
Keine then got between the two of them. "Don't get any ideas with the little girl," Keine frowned.
"Oh, what makes you assume I was going to do anything bad with her?" Yuyuko asked, semi-innocently.
"She's got a point," Marisa said.
Mamiko got closer to her. "Wait… are you an avatar of power?"
"What makes you ask that?" Lavenza said.
"I can sense a great power emanating from you," Mamiko said. "I am attuned to spiritual powers."
Lavenza smiled. "I suppose that is true." She stepped forward. "I suppose I should go and bring her home. I've learned how to drive her tank, just in case."
"Eh, good luck with that," Marisa said. We watched as Lavenza simply walked right in between a spinny-eyed Reimu trying to balance a watermelon on her head and Youmu using her sword to carve a poorly-drawn stick figure of Yuyuko in the sand in order to round up Rika in her tank and excuse themselves through a dimensional portal created by the tank.
The rest of us sober guests agreed to end things here, round up who we could, and escort them back where they needed to go. Me and Kana helped get everyone out as far as the gate before we started the trip back. Once more, I used the cloak to make it seem as though we were returning from the Shrine, going around and coming down the path from the forest.
"Did you have a good time?" I asked her.
"I… it was interesting," Kana said. "I didn't know that Reimu and her friends behave like that when villagers aren't around. I always figured they kept secrets from us. I didn't know that those secrets included going through three boxes of alcohol and acting like animals."
"I found it quite the shock myself when I first came here," I said. "Although out there, I did have experience infiltrating dens of iniquity, so it wasn't as much of an adjustment."
Kana smiled. "It sounds like you have quite a few more stories to share. I'm looking forward to hearing all of them." She bowed. "And, thanks for taking care of me today. I wouldn't have dared go near that mansion by myself…"
"You're very welcome," I said. "Just make sure to keep this between you and me."
"I will," Kana said. "I won't even tell my mother or father."
"Especially them," I said. "And I will make sure no one else mentions your presence there, not even Keine."
"Thank you." With that, Kana went inside. She asked if I wanted to stay for dinner, but I told her I had already promised Masato that I would help him straighten up the store before going to bed. I went home, cleaned up the shelves and swept and mopped the floor, then retired to bed.