Goro

I woke up to the sun shining through my window. Stretching my arms out, I knew that today was going to be a productive day. As agreed, I would go meet with Miko to further our investigation into Seiga's distortion.

After washing up for the day, I got dressed and walked out to the front. Masato was already working on getting ready to open up for the day, so I rounded up some rugs to shake out, opened the front door…

…and was instantly hit by a blast of searing heat.

"Whoa!" Quickly, I shut the door, shocked by the extreme heat outside. I caught a glimpse of a thermometer, which read a whopping 42 degrees celsius.

"It's hot out there today, isn't it?" Masato said.

"I did not expect it," I said. "Not at this time of year."

"When those kappa installed all the electric stuff, they included something called 'air conditioning.' Didn't know what that was until today. I'll bet you my store's gonna be packed with people trying to get out of the heat."

I thought about our conversation last night, about how the weather around here was acting strangely. I went upstairs and got my communicator off of the dresser, and found a conversation already in progress.

aburaage: Alright, I'm calling an incident. I'm sure you already know why.

autumnsky: Every leafy tree on Youkai mountain is in full fall colors and there are thunderstorms.

seeingstars: Everything here in the forest is covered in snow and ice.

cheshirecat: Bull is outside my house clearing all the snow as we speak.

ghostmochi: I went down to the village to do some morning shopping, and it's buckling under searing heat.

pancakeman: I just now experienced it for myself.

aburaage: And the shrine is surrounded by an out of control blizzard of sakura petals.

turbogranny: It is as though we are experiencing all of the seasons at once.

turtlepower: Yeah, like, turned up to fifteen or something.

pancakeman: We'll have to postpone our investigation of Seiga. I will offer my assistance in resolving this incident.

aburaage: We'll need all hands on deck. Everyone, go and gather as many clues as you can. Also, several lesser youkai are acting up for some reason, so be careful.

seeingstars: Looks like this is your first real incident, Crow. Don't let us down.

pancakeman: Who do you think I am?

"It seems I've been called upon to help solve an incident," I said to Masato.

"Heh, figured that would happen eventually if you kept hanging around Reimu and my daughter." He looked outside. "Just… make it back in one piece, okay? And try to stay near someone you trust."

"Absolutely," I bowed. "You have my word."

"Good luck," he said.

Being outside in stifling, humid heat while wearing a formal suit was not the easiest thing to do, even if I forewent the jacket and just wore my dress shirt and tie. The normally wet, muddy streets were bone-dry, and there were very few people out besides men toting carts around with ice and water. This contrasted with Youkai Mountain, which was red-orange with fall colors, and the forests which were blanketed in snow. I knew the weather was going to be all over the place, so I tied my jacket around my waist so that I could access it when I needed it.

I was barely two steps beyond the village gates when a voice called out "yooooooo!" I looked up, and saw a blue figure rocket toward the ground in front of me, before impacting it in a dramatic fashion.

"We meet again, Akechi-san!" she said dramatically.

I paused, then asked, "who are you?"

"Well, of course a simpleton such as you would have the memory of a damn goldfish! I am the exquisite, new-and-improved Cirno! Gaze upon my magnificence all you want!"

…well, she certainly acted like Cirno, but the girl in front of me had an extra head or two on her, had very tanned skin, a slightly more mature voice and, er, figure, and a sunflower brooch on her chest and was surrounded by vines. Most conspicuously of all, however, was the door on her back, leading to… somewhere. In any case, I figured that must be the source of her newfound strength.

"That's nice to hear, Cirno-chan, but I'm very busy-"

"You will call me Cirno-dono!" she insisted bombastically. "I am going around showing everyone my newfound power, and burning all the weaklings in my way! If you come with me, I will gladly demonstrate this power for you, so that you may grovel at my majesty!"

…as much as I wanted to blow her off, I realized it would be far too dangerous to venture away from the village on my own, at least until I could rendezvous with one of the others. My best chance, then, was to follow Cirno until I could cross paths with them, and help them take down whoever or whatever was causing this. The door on Cirno's back was also a clue itself, since it had to be linked to the perpetrator.

"I accept your offer, Cirno-dono," I bowed.

"Superb! Now, let's see if you can keep up with me!"

Cirno sped off towards the lake, where flocks of sunflower fairies were beginning to gather above the steaming surface, all of them similarly sporting doors on their backs. Driven mad by the energy streaming out of them, they attacked us at full force with waves upon waves of laser bullets, putting my crack-shot abilities to the test.

"So that is your weapon," Cirno asked.

"Indeed, it's how I channel my power."

"Pphh. Watch THIS!" Holding out her hands, a machine gun of icicles fired at the fairies, mowing them down left and right and piercing the enemy bullets where they collided. I allowed her to charge forward into the enemy formations while I provided backup, wishing to conserve my strength for the true culprit. The fairies were later joined by what seemed to be green yin-yang orbs, but these were shot down just as easily.

Eventually, once the rabble was cleared, a single remaining butterfly fairy accosted us. "I love summer!" She declared. "Are you enjoying this summer day?"

"It's not summer," I said.

"Bullshit!" she cheerfully declared. "I'm high on summer energy! I won't lose to weaklings like you!"

"You DARE call me a weakling?!" Cirno shouted. "I shall tear you limb-from-limb! Fear the power of the Freezing Flame!" The two then broke out into bullets, with the butterfly fairy firing mostly waves of green bullets while Cirno retaliated.

"Not bad!" Cirno said. "But ice is hardly my only trick! Behold: the TRUE power of summer!" She summoned a wall of fire. "Fire Sign: Muspelheim!" She launched the fire at the fairy, plowing through her bullets and setting her ablaze; I then moved in and delivered the killing shot, ending the fight.

"Geh… to think that you would best the great summer fairy, Eternity Larva…"

"Summer is officially mine!" Cirno declared. "I will use this power to conquer all of Gensokyo!"

Eternity then looked at me. "And you?"

I tipped my hat. "I merely wish to resolve this matter quickly and peacefully. Now, we must be going. After all, you can't conquer Gensokyo if you stay here with this weakling, Cirno-dono."

"Damn straight!" Cirno said, zipping off into the woods.

We were now venturing through the Youkai Forest, painted in fall colors and noticeably cooler, forcing me to put my jacket back on. Still more fairies came at us, but we cut through them all the same.

After some time, we entered a clearing, where a familiar face was looking around for clues.

"Aha!" Cirno declared. "Another strong foe to test my might-"

"Hold on," I said, stepping forward. "It's nice to see you, Aya."

Aya turned around. "Oh, Goro! I wasn't expecting to see you here." She looked at Cirno. "Wait, are you…"

"I AM CIRNO-DONO! Cower before my power!"

Aya looked around Cirno, and fixated on the door on her back. "I see. So Cirno has a door on her back too."

"It seems most of the fairies also have doors on their backs," I said.

"Actually, most weak youkai do," Aya said. "It's giving them power, and making them go crazy. Even my powers were having trouble keeping up, at least until I collected a red ball of energy that enhanced my attacks with the power of autumn."

"How coincidental! I found a yellow ball which granted me the untamed energy of summer!" Cirno said.

"Interesting," I said. "They must be concentrations of seasonal energy, or something along those lines. Alas, I have not found anything like that. I am merely trying to keep up as best I ca-"

Before I could finish, a meat cleaver embedded itself into the tree next to me. We looked where it came from, and saw an angry hag in yellow-and-red rags holding another cleaver.

"You kids get outta mah territory!" she yelled.

"Like I care!" Cirno shot back. "I will take over this land, by force!"

"Assertive little lady, ain'tcha? Well, I, Nemuno Sakata, will cut 'ye open, just like 'ye asked!"

"Looks like we have another fight," I sighed.

"Well, let's get this over with," Aya said.

The mountain hag, Nemuno, assailed us with dagger and knife-like bullets, either thrown around randomly or in organized waves as spell cards. Again, Cirno simply charged forward with ice and fire, but Nemuno was savvy enough to attack with asymmetrical patterns which caught Cirno off-guard.

"Geh!" Cirno said. "This is one tough opponent!"

"She's using tricky tricks," Aya said. "So, time to respond with a tricky trick of my own!" She summoned a card, and then her Persona. "Justice Sign: Nordic Huntress!" The spears that were summoned attacked from all directions, including from behind, breaking one of Nemuno's cards and leaving her vulnerable, allowing me to simply float up and deliver a laser bullet to the head.

"Y'all are too rough! Can't I enjoy the fall colors in peace?"

"It's March," I said. "Fall does not occur in March."

"It does in the Southern Hemisphere!" she insisted.

"But we're in Japan," Aya said, before shaking her head. "C'mon, let's get moving."

"Whaddya doin' with that fairy?" Nemuno asked.

"I will go with them to subjugate them and show them my prowess!" Cirno said.

"Er… yeah, sure, let's go with that," Aya said.

Outside the forest, we got caught up in a blizzard of cherry blossom petals. Everywhere you looked, there was just a sea of sakura as far as the eye could see, not that our eyes could see far at all.

"Can't see shit!" Aya complained.

"Ggh," I grunted, trying to dust the petals off of my suit.

"No need to fear, I'll just burn them away!" Cirno shot out flames from her hands, rendering the petals into ashes, and, unfortunately, revealing even more fairies coming at us with vibrant blues, greens, and pinks which blended in fiendishly well with the petals. Aya was able to use some of her wind magic, channeled within her maple-leaf fan, to blow a path through the endless barrage of petals and knock the fairies around.

After tearing through another wave, we received a moment's respite, only for a loud girl's voice to shout "SPRIIIIIIIIIIIIING! IT'S SPRING!"

"Oh balls," Aya frowned.

"Hm?" I asked, before a blonde fairy in a white dress began drenching us in spiraling danmaku. We pooled our combined firepower to scare her off before continuing.

Eventually, after braving the sakura storm, we found a safe place to touch down. Getting our bearings, we realized we were at a familiar place.

"This is the shrine," I observed.

"Geez, Reimu wasn't kidding when she said the petal blizzard was out of control!" Aya said. Meanwhile, Cirno just stood haughtily, daring a challenger to come out and test her "majesty."

I started walking over to the main shrine to see if Reimu was present, but I only managed a few steps before I heard a loud whooshing noise coming from behind me.

"What the hell?!"

When we turned to face the source, there was a door open on the back of one of the komainu statues, drawing in massive amounts of energy before causing the statue to shine white. When the light died down, the statue was gone; instead, there was a green-haired girl with a single silver horn, magatama-like ears, and a red-and-white kariyushi shirt and shorts. She looked up at us, eyes glowing red and snarling, before lunging at us.

"Oh shit!" Instinctively, we attacked, with scenes of Shadow Tewi flashing into my head. Cirno, as always, came right at her with fire and ice, but the beast-girl simply knocked her aside as she charged me and Aya. Aya tried to position herself for an aerial attack to intercept her, while I simply dodged and retaliated with gunshots; I also tested out my newly-fused Gurr with a World spell card (while trying hard not to dramatically proclaim "ZA WARUDO" with a ridiculous pose). We soon found that, despite her feral demeanor, she could use spell cards too, including one with curving red lasers and another with homing yellow ovals, which we had to dodge and counter.

Once one of her cards was broken, she lunged at us once more, and we braced for impact. Before that could happen, though, there was a red blast, and we saw Reimu resisting the girl with her gohei, before she looked up, smiled, then kicked the girl back.

"Looks like you guys are in a bit of a pickle," she said. "In that case, let the chief incident resolver help you out!"

"The Hakurei has come to view my untold power!" Cirno proclaimed.

"Would you give it a rest?" Aya sighed. "We have work to do here."

"Indeed," I said, fixing my tie. "Time to finish the job!" Reimu channeled the power of Spring to send all the sakura petals at once at the beast girl, then once she was weakened I simply waltzed up to fire a single shot and end the fight.

We surrounded the girl, who started coming to her senses as the door on her back disappeared.

"Who are you?" I asked forcefully.

"I…" She stood up, and bowed. "I am Aunn Komano. I am one of the guardian beasts of the Hakurei Shrine. I'm… I'm terribly sorry. A great power flooded into me, and then…"

"Wait," Reimu said, looking at the pedestal where the komainu statue once stood. "So, you just came to life? From being a statue?"

Aunn smiled. "I mean, now I'm a flesh-and-blood person, just like you, but I've been watching you and everyone at this shrine for a long time. I watched you from the time you were a small girl, snuggled with you as a spirit when you were scared, lonely and sad, and have seen your growth into a fine-"

"O-okay, that's enough!" Reimu said, blushing. She looked out at the valley, as the petals parted briefly revealing the snow-clad Forest of Magic. "L-let's just go meet up with Marisa, I think she's still in the forest. You just guard the shrine or something while we're gone."

"Guarding the shrine is my duty!" Aunn said, tail wagging.

"You have seasonal power as well, Reimu," I noted.

"Yeah, I found this weird green orb of energy right after I left the shrine, and it's letting me control 'Spring.' I've been using it to help me solve this incident."

"Spring, summer, and fall," I said, looking at the three girls. "Perhaps if we get 'Winter' on our side, we'll have our best shot at solving this case."

"Let's get going, then!" Cirno said. "I long to meet an opponent who can match my strength in the freezing cold!"

As we reached the forest, we were hit with a massive blizzard, the same sort of bullshit I had put up with for the past three months flying around Gensokyo and taking down the Fortresses. Still more fairies emerged from the white wall of snow to assail us with lasers, and still they went down like flies in a fogged room, especially now since there were four of us, soon to be five.

Soon, we were approached by a girl in a green dress wielding a bamboo stalk. "Hello," she said. "Would you happen to know where my friend Satano is?"

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Me? I'm Mai Teireida. I'm looking for my friend Satano."

"We don't know where she is," Reimu said.

"Oh, okay." Mai then fired waves of green and pink bullets at us, of course. Strangely, she seemed to be dancing in place as she did so. I prepared a Kaiwan-based Star card, only for Mai to nope out for some reason after seeing the Psy-based projectiles. We weren't paying attention to where she went, we just kept pressing on.

After braving the blizzard, and the blizzard of fairies, for a while, we heard what sounded like a spell card duel in progress. Getting closer to the sounds, colorful lights glowed against the storm, until finally we hit a clearing and found Marisa fighting a short girl in a rice hat and a gray coat. Marisa attacked with lasers, the short girl with twisting patterns of card-like bullets and large, red orbs.

"Seems Marisa has her hands full with that girl," Aya said.

"Pfft, I could freeze that weakling just like that!" Cirno said.

"That girl also has a door on her back," Reimu noted.

"Looks like she's focused on Marisa," I grinned. "Why don't we give her a Last Surprise?"

"Ooh, good idea!" Aya said.

"Then let's tear her apart!" Cirno called out. So we rushed in while the girl was focused on making Marisa micrododge a card and gangbanged her all at once, breaking all of her cards within a few seconds.

"HEY!" the girl cried out as she hit the ground. "What was that for?!"

Marisa touched down and also looked quite huffy. "I totally had that fight under control, I don't need y'all swoopin' in like that!"

"Seems the thief had her kill stolen from her," I said, twirling my gun around.

"Let's just get to the point," Reimu said. "That door on your back."

The girl looked around. "Oh, this? Well, I mean, I was just a jizo statue until a moment ago, when Marisa and a strange green girl got into an argument, then she used some strange dancing magic to open this door and make me a person…"

"Wait, that girl is the one opening the back doors?" Reimu said.

"Seems like it," Marisa said. "Poor lil' Naruko couldn't control her power, so she just attacked me."

"'Naruko?"' I asked.

"Oh, my apologies!" The girl put her hands together and bowed. "I'm Narumi Yatadera, a jizo statue and a magician just like Marisa. I can control the life energy in things!"

"Is that so?" Aya asked. "How do you know her then, if you only started moving a few minutes ago?"

"Well, remember the jizo that I left offerings to?" Marisa said. "Turns out, that was her. She's prolly been watching me for years, and knows my name, and prolly all yer' names too."

"I see… just like that strange girl Aunn, who used to be a Komainu statue…" I shook my head. "In any case, we need to solve this incident as quickly as possible. We won't get anywhere by simply going around, gathering seasonal energy, and beating people up."

"Oh, you guys have been doing it too?" Marisa said. "'Cause I found this really weird blue ball of energy and found I could harness the power of Winter from it!"

"Then… that makes us a group of four seasons," Reimu observed. "Of course, me and Cirno are reversed in color, but we're just like the Vermillion Bird, the White Tiger, the Black Tortoise, and the Azure Dragon. Only Goro isn't using this energy, and he's dressed in gold-brown, so he's akin to the Yellow Dragon, who exists between seasons."

"Oh, wow, now that you mention it," Aya said.

I looked around Cirno, seeing the door on her back. "These doors are also giving youkai the energy to wreak havoc." I thought for a moment. "Why don't we try seeing what's on the other side?"

"You mean… you want to go in the doors?" Reimu said.

"Dude, is it even safe?" Marisa asked.

"We have no better leads," I said. "Plus, it only makes sense that whoever is behind all this exists in the place where these doors lead."

Aya looked at the door as well. "Hmm… it's risky, but I suppose we have no choice. Lead the way, Goro."

"With pleasure." I touched the door, causing me to get sucked inside.