Severus awoke the following morning with Luna curled tightly into his side. He rolled toward her and filled his lungs with her scent. As his fingers toyed with a lock of her hair, he again considered the stolen visions of the tiny infant boy with the tufts of dark hair he'd seen in Luna's thoughts; so innocent, so unaware of dark lords and wizarding wars as he slept in his mother's arms. He placed a hand over Luna's abdomen and smiled as he felt the being within squirm.
Her eyes fluttered open and she glanced over at him. "Good morning." She took his hand where it still rested over her middle as the movements became stronger. "He senses you, I think."
Could the unborn child really have any sort of awareness of him other than the physical feeling of his hand patting him through Luna? If so, what sort of connection had they formed?
"You should talk to him…I bet he is able to hear by now."
His hand moved circles over her growing womb, now clearly being able to sense the form within, head and bottom curled tight, twisting within. In a matter of months, weeks really, the child will be born, but the idea of speaking to it as if already sentient was not yet something he was ready to consider.
He sighed. "I don't think I can…"
Luna tapped the squirming mass. "Hear that, Little One. That is the voice of your father."
Father. He withdrew his hand as if stung and coughed on the sudden tightness in his throat.
Luna rolled to face him and smiled. "Are you afraid of him, Severus?"
"I do not consider myself as that…"
"Yes well, it is inevitable now I think…but choose the term you prefer - Papa, Pa, Dadaí, Dad. "
He sighed, daring to reach for her again as he tried to picture the boy from Luna's mind calling him 'Papa.'
"What should we call him, do you think?"
He swallowed down the growing lump returning to his throat. Calling him anything at all, even hypothetically would make it that more significant. "I still do not understand how you can be so sure it is a him." he mused.
She chuckled. "We can pick two names then, if you prefer. It will be fun to imagine both possibilities, I think. Do you have any family names you prefer?"
"Most definitely not." His lip curled. It is bad enough it will be cursed with his surname. Or at least, he assumed Luna intended to give the child his name. Shit. He should probably assure that properly.
"Luna, I do believe it might be in the child's best interest if…" he stopped himself. This was not the proper way to propose, even in these circumstances. She at least deserved some thought, and quite possibly a ring. His mind immediately went to the black opal in the Muggle antique shop a few blocks down.
"Yes?"
"Well, if we discuss names a bit later."
She nodded. "You are not ready."
He hardly considered his actions as he bid Luna good day that morning and left out the front door of 12 Grimmauld place for fear he would not be able to continue. Retracing their steps from his and Luna's one and only trip out together since moving into their new hideout, he stopped in front of the Muggle Antique shop. Reaching into his trouser pockets, he pulled out his enchanted coin purse. He clicked it open and considered the mix of Muggle and wizarding coins and bills, before stepping into the shop.
He stared at the black opal ring in the band of black diamonds in the case for what felt like hours, his body refusing to move and his mind resisting his mental wards, before catching the attention of the shopkeeper and asking to see it. He examined the piece of jewelry from all angles and shifted it in the lights, moving his focus to it instead of the echo of his racing heart in his ears. He could find no flaw in the gems, as he tried to envision it on Luna's hand. Had she ever considered her engagement ring? It seemed like something that the average young pureblood witch would do, but perhaps not Luna. But then again, she had seemed quite taken with the piece when she had seen it. 'That one feels very balancing. Just looking at it brings me peace.' Isn't that what she had said? This ring would be an adequate presentation of his proposal.
He rebuked himself. It was her disappointment in the giver with which he should concern himself, not the trinket that represented his offer. He sighed as nothing could be done about that. This ring at least, was a true gift.
"I will take it," he told the shopkeeper as he reminded himself of all the reasons he had come to this point. He must offer her some security and stability. Not unlike any arranged wizard marriage, his role would be to support her and the inevitable child until the time they no longer required it. Then he would let her go. Separation in the Wizarding World was not nearly as taboo as birth out of wedlock. And no one would blame her, assuming she would even agree to the arrangement to begin with.
"Might you be interested in the coordinating band?" The shopkeep reached into the case and pulled out another box.
"I do not think–" Severus was about to decline until he saw the wraparound band, on the top a row of Ravenclaw blue sapphires, the bottom a row of Slytherin green emeralds. "Yes."
He paid for the jewelry and quickly stuck the black dark wooden box deep into a pocket with a sigh as he left the shop, his mind on the conundrum of a proposal.
On the walk back, he stopped in front of the Muggle coffee shop where he and Luna had stopped before. A pastry from the shop might be a nice token for a proposal, a representation of what could be if things were different, just as their "date" had been. As he opened the door to step inside, someone pushed past from the inside, shoving him aside. He watched the hooded man, not catching his face, as he ran down the street before vanishing. A wizard.
Severus walked into the shop to find the barista cowering behind the counter. "Did he harm you?"
The young woman looked up at him and let out a long breath. "N..no."
He stepped behind the counter and glanced around as the woman stood, dusting her skirt. "He was looking for you. He has been here three times this week, asking if you or the young woman you were with had returned. He left that for you." She pointed at an envelope on the counter, sealed with black wax.
He swiped it and shoved it into his pocket. "Did he give you a name?"
She shook her head. "Said you were a friend that had recently gone missing. Last seen here. I told him you have not been back and perhaps you were just passing through."
"Thank you. I am sorry for your troubles. You can tell him you found me, if he returns." Whomever the wizard was, he would be wanting proof, he imagined. He dug into his pocket and pulled out his coin purse. He took out a single knut. He clutched it in his hand and wordlessly and wandlessly cast a tracing charm on the coin before handing it to the woman. "Here. Give him this."
She nodded as she took the coin and studied it. "I've got a few more of those letters in back too."
He sighed. "I will take those as well."
She disappeared into the next room through the door beside the register which he imagined led to the kitchen and office. He glanced around the small cafe as he pinched the bridge of his nose. She returned with a stack of wax sealed letters and handed them to him. "My apologies, Miss. It is unfortunate you have been harassed in this way."
She nodded. "First that crazy blond lady in the hideous green suit, now that maniac. You are either some sort of celebrity or criminal."
He snorted. "Depends on who you ask."
She nodded. "Can I get you anything?"
He sniffed. He had forgotten why he'd even come into the shop until that moment and it suddenly seemed absurd. "Yes. A bread pudding and a chocolate scone. To go. Thank you."
Luna sat in the center of the sitting room floor surrounded by books and notes, scribbling onto some parchment and humming to herself.
"Still worried about exams, are we?" Severus asked as he moved to join her that evening.
"Only a few more weeks to prepare," she looked up at him.
"You are more than prepared, Luna."
She nodded. "I know."
He waved his hand over her display. "Then why all this?"
"Because it feels like being back at Hogwarts."
As his knees popped and hips clicked, he sat down beside her. "I see."
"Besides, I haven't even made it through half of Hermione's revision schedule yet, and she's been through it twice."
"Of course she has…And the rest of those Gryffindor tossers?"
She gave him a teasing glare. "Well, I don't know really. We've been so busy with The Quibbler. Oh!" She turned and dug through her crocheted bag, pulling out a folded parchment. "We've got another exclusive story."
"Potter and Weasley to Wed in the Spring" He did not bother to read the rest of the article.
"Isn't it wonderful? Harry proposed on broomstick. Ginny is trying out for the professional Quidditch teams in the Spring, and she's been spending a lot of time preparing. Ron must have been in on it, because he took this photo."
"How predictable," he mumbled, feeling the weight of the ring in his own pocket.
"I think it's sweet," Luna replied gazing at the photo of the couple clasping hands on broomsticks dressed in quidditch robes grinning. "I'm sure it will be a lovely wedding. And what a nice distraction for Mrs Weasley. She's been having a difficult time lately, I think."
Severus nodded but said nothing.
Luna picked up her Potions text beside her and pulled it into her lap as she leaned into him. Turning the page, she smiled. "Warm embers, wet ink, and worn leather," she murmured.
He looked over her shoulder to see the chapter on love potions with the words scribbled in the margins of Amortentia text.
He snorted. "I would have assumed something more saccharine."
Luna pouted. "I think it is perfect, like the restricted section of the library, or the study nooks in the Ravenclaw common room."
Or the potions lab, he thought as visions of late nights at his desk in fading firelight came to him.
Her shimmering eyes met his as she bit her lip. "And what is it you smell, Potions Master?"
He closed his eyes, picturing the pearlescent liquid and swirling smoke. "Dew in twilight, freshly fallen leaves, and… dandelions." He cleared his throat as his eyes opened. He had always associated the scents with the park down the street from Spinner's End where he'd first met Lily, but as he sat near the blond witch he could sense a faint hint of her dandelion and citrus scent.
Luna closed her eyes. "Like the edge of the Forbidden Forest at the beginning of the school year."
He let down his occlumency barriers long enough to allow memories of lying beneath the trees on the ground of Hogwarts to seep into the forefront of his mind. "Indeed."
She opened her eyes and flashed her dimple. "How lovely. I do look forward to that again." She sighed.
"What is it?" He raised a brow.
"It won't be the same though, will it?"
He shook his head. "No. The battle has changed the grounds and the castle."
"And us…"
He too sighed. "Yes. Us too."
She nodded. "It was foolish to hope that something wouldn't change. I was there. I saw all the destruction." she traced circles onto the text pages in front of her. "Maybe I'll find something when I go back that is the same…some corner somewhere."
"You will find your corner, Luna. Perhaps some of your study nooks are still undisturbed, embers, ink, leather and all."
Closing her books, she pulled her knees into her chest. "Then again, I've changed so much I might not even be able to recognize what was once so familiar."
He reached over and rested a hand over her knee, his head empty of an appropriate response despite the desperate desire to speak some words of reassurance or comfort.
Luna smiled. "You're right. It's still Hogwarts, afterall."
A/N: Sorry for the prolonged absence. I have the ending to this tale complete, but these two just don't want to get there. I will continue to guide them. In the meantime, I would like to know what y'all think. What is going well? What isn't? What do you want more of? Less of?
Current musical inspiration: Tell me What you're Looking For - Caroline Liar; The Book of Love - multiple versions
Thanks for the ongoing support!