Chapter 16 - The Pain of Loss

Roxy found herself wandering despondently through the village. Her head held low and her tail dragging along the ground behind her, she walked without purpose or direction. She just felt completely aimless. Like a zombie Pokémon wandering the Earth, searching for something she couldn't remember.

Her spirits were low, maybe lower than they had ever been before. Honestly, she was amazed she could even make herself walk. She didn't want to think about the past because of how upsetting it was, she didn't want to think about the future because of how terrifying it was, but she also didn't want to think about the present because it just hurt too much.

So she wandered forward, as if in a daze, not caring where she ended up. Joyful memories filled her mind, tainted black with tar by the knowledge she would never be able to experience them again. That chapter of her life was over and gone forever, torn right out of the book, and she felt like she had barely started to read it.

Roxy didn't know she could hurt this bad. She didn't know how anyone could hurt this bad and still go on.

Hearing a rather loud, droning sound, she stopped and lifted her head slightly. She found that her wayward paws had taken her to the river, at the spot where she would bathe. The waters were running forward through the trees, just as they always had. Makari had been swept away from her by the river of life. He was there and then, in a flash, he was gone. The river's current was strong.

The constant din of the river was a little bit soothing to her mind. Now that her world had been turned upside down and everything was chaos, it was nice to at least know that some things were still constant. No matter where she went, how long she was gone, or what she did, this river would still be here.

Maybe she should jump in and see where it would take her? It was an utterly stupid idea, but she was so tired that her anxiety simply had no energy to fight back. Maybe it would take her to where it had taken Makari…

Roxy closed her eyes and listened to the sound of the river for a few moments, but then one of her ears twitched. She realized that she could hear something else. Furrowing her brow a little, she strained to listen closer. It was the sound of someone else. Someone who was utterly exhausted and panting heavily.

She opened her eyes and scanned her surroundings, trying to see who it was. It almost sounded like someone was in trouble, which made her a little nervous. At first she couldn't see anything. Then, however, she spotted movement in a bush across the river, a fair distance away. It rustled a bit, and then someone stumbled out of it.

It was another Pikachu. By the looks of it, another member of the Thunder Clan. That was difficult to tell, though, considering that they were covered in dirt, mud and a fair bit of blood from numerous scratches and cuts. He definitely looked to be in bad shape, and collapsed down onto his paws in a panting fit.

"H-hey!" Roxy called, "Are you all right?"

The Pikachu groaned in distress, struggling to stand back up.

Roxy glanced around in concern. She tried to decide if she should go and get someone. "Are you hurt? Do you need help?" she asked.

She looked across the river as he put a paw on the ground and tried to force himself up. It looked like he had been through hell twice. When he finally hefted himself up into a kneeling position, he lifted his head and looked back at her.

Roxy gasped in shock and cupped her paws to her mouth. Her breath then caught in her throat as she stared at those eyes of his. He was dishevelled and dirty, mangled and bloody, and almost completely unrecognizable. However, Roxy knew who the only one in the world was to have such sparkling eyes.

"…Makari?" she sputtered in disbelief.

"Roxy…!" he called out to her, stumbling on his hindpaws as he stood, "Thanks heavens I…Augh…"

Roxy slowly shook her head and stared. This was impossible. This didn't make any sense. No matter how badly she wanted it to be true, she knew that logically it couldn't be.

"Please, Roxy…Help me!"

She sputtered to speak for a moment. "But…y-you can't be…" she said, tears in her eyes, "You're…d-dead…"

He grunted in pain. "If I do not get back to the village, I will be…"

"But I…" Roxy felt like she was looking at a ghost, which may have actually been the case. There was a chilling sensation keeping her locked on the spot, staring across the river at this apparition with a mix of horror, sadness and longing, "I saw you…"

"They…they captured me, Roxy! When no-one was looking, they snatched me! I barely escaped!"

Roxy shook her head. She couldn't allow herself to believe something like this. It was just a product of her stress. "I…I was at your funeral! You…They put you on the fire, and-" She suddenly choked up. It was difficult for her to outline the reasons for her grief out loud.

He was silent for a moment, and then shook his head. "I…Whoever that was, it was not me! I am here, Roxy, and I-" He suddenly lurched forwards in pain.

Roxy caught herself half lunging forward, concerned that he would fall over and hurt himself.

"Please…" he whimpered, "It hurts…"

As he sat there, quivering in pain and still bleeding from some of his injuries, he locked eyes with her. For a few moments, Roxy was lost in his eyes. There was no-one on the planet who had eyes like those. Deep hazel, with a certain shine to them. She could see them, and she could see him there clear as day.

"Makari…" she whispered. Did this make sense? Was this possible? Before long, Roxy realized that she didn't care. He was right there, across the river, and he needed her help. He was still alive and he was going to be okay! A wonderful, warm smile began to grow on her face.

He saw that she was smiling, and smiled gratefully in return. "I love you…" he said.

"I love you too…"

There was a flash of black, and suddenly he was gone. Roxy blinked twice in bafflement, but then she heard his cry for help. It took her but a moment to find where he had gone.

For the second time, she gasped in horror.

A Weavile, slightly taller than him, had just zipped out of the bush and grabbed him. Now it was running and carrying him away into the woods. She heard a cry for help that quickly grew distant.

"Makari!" she shouted. A second later, she leapt into the frigid river and swam as quickly as she could to the opposite side. She quickly scrambled up onto land, and then took off running. She ran on all fours as fast as her paws could take her. She focused all of her energy on dodging the trees and speeding herself up.

A couple of minutes later, she had caught up with them. In the distance, past many trees but easily visible, she could see the Weavile still dashing away. It was carrying Makari under its forelimb, gripping onto him with its claw. Roxy could see drops of blood forming a trail towards them. She huffed through the exertion and pushed herself to speed up even more.

The Weavile glanced back and saw her, then scowled and continued running.

Trees whipped past Roxy in a blur as she tried to run even faster. Makari was in trouble and she had to catch him before it was too late. That was the only thing on her mind. Nothing else mattered!

When the Weavile glanced back again, it growled. Roxy realized that she was slowly catching up. Weavile were pretty fast, but she was running on four legs and it was running on two, not to mention it was carrying Makari. Roxy could feel herself getting tired, and could feel her heart painfully pound in her chest, but she kept going. Just a little bit more and she could reach him!

Then, suddenly, the Weavile skidded to a stop and whirled around to face her. "Stop!" it commanded with a male's voice. With one claw, he lifted Makari up by his ears, making the Pikachu cry out in pain. He then extended one claw on his other limb and pressed it right up against his throat.

Roxy gasped and slammed on the brakes. She came to a stop just a few metres from the pair of them.

She held her breath, her eyes locked on that sharp blade that was pushing against his neck, drawing a thin line of blood. With one little move, he could slit his throat and kill him. Roxy gulped and shivered. "P-please…" she whispered, "Let him go…"

"Roxy…!" he spoke, his voice strained, "Run away! Save yourself!"

"Please, just let him go. I'm begging you! I'll do anything!"

The Weavile simply growled and started backing off slowly. Roxy made to take a step forwards, but he growled louder and pressed his claw tighter against Makari's neck. Roxy froze on the spot.

"No…Please!"

The Weavile simply kept slowly backing away.

"Please don't take him…!"

Makari was starting to look weak from his injuries and the loss of blood.

"…Makari!"

The Weavile got further away.

"…Don't go…"

When the Weavile stepped behind a tree and disappeared from sight briefly, Roxy felt a jolt to her systems. She was losing Makari! He was taking him! Without thinking, she quickly began to run off in the direction they had gone.

The Weavile stepped around the other side of the tree, saw she was approaching, and promptly slashed Makari's throat.

Roxy screamed in utter horror. "No!"

There was a vile spray of blood, and Makari's body was unceremoniously dropped to the ground. The Weavile darted off into the forest, but Roxy didn't care about him. She ran as quickly as she could to Makari's side.

Makari was twitching and convulsing, struggling to breathe but just making bubbling, gurgling sounds.

"Makari! Makari, no! No, please!" she shouted, "What do I do? What do I do?!"

"Roxy…!"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she tried to use her paws to somehow stop the blood from pouring out, but it was useless. All she accomplished was getting her paws soaked in red. "Makari, hold on!"

"Roxy!"

She sniffled and sobbed. "I love you…I…I can't lose you!"

She was surprised when his paw suddenly lifted up and grasped her by the shoulder. "Roxy…" he whispered in a strange voice.

"P-p…please don't go…" she whimpered.

"Roxy, you have to wake up."

Her eyes became as wide as dinner plates.

Roxy took a sharp intake of air as her eyes shot open. She squirmed around a little bit in panic.

"Roxy…Hey, Roxy! Calm down…"

She took in a deep breath and tried to figure out what was going on. The light was painful against her eyes and her heart was hammering away in her chest. Someone was holding her by the shoulders. "Wh…?" she breathed, still confused and disoriented.

"Roxy, it is me…" the voice said. It was a female's voice. It wasn't Makari.

The frightened little Pikachu blinked a few times to clear away her grogginess, and then looked around once more. Her surroundings were not quite as frightening as she had expected. She was in Makari's hut, the same place she had fallen asleep last night, and sitting next to her was Miri.

"Are you okay now?" Miri asked her in a calm voice, "Are you awake?"

Roxy sat there for a moment in stillness, blinked once, and then started crying. The reality hit her that what she had just seen had been a very vivid dream. Now that it was gone, she found herself overburdened with too many emotions to count.

Miri didn't say anything after that. She simply reached forwards and gave Roxy a warm hug. Roxy hugged back and laid her head on Miri's shoulder, bawling like a cub. She didn't even try to talk. She just had a powerful urge to cry that didn't seem to ever go away. Every sob hurt. Every tear stung. She felt weaker and smaller than ever before in her whole life, and she wanted nothing more than for the hurt to stop.

These tears had been building up since Makari's last breath. A whole day and night's worth of grief was coming out, now that all of her defences had finally been brought down by that dream. It had started out absolutely wonderful, seeing Makari alive again, and then turned horrible. She felt like she was crying over the dead body of dream-Makari, dealing with the grief that the dream hadn't been real and he hadn't actually still been alive.

Roxy didn't stop crying until she simply couldn't anymore. She had no idea how long it had taken, but eventually her cries dwindled to pathetic little sobs and hiccups. Finally, after an eternity had passed, there was nothing left to come out. She just rested there in Miri's embrace, feeling empty.

"Sorry…"

Despite the dour mood they were both in, Miri managed to let out a soft chuckle. "Roxy…you apologize for the strangest things sometimes."

"Mnn…"

Miri shifted back from the hug so that Roxy was sitting in her lap and looking up at her. The Audino wore a sad, understanding look. "Did that make you feel better?" she asked knowingly.

Roxy sniffled and then nodded. "Uh huh…"

"Yesterday was….rough. To say the least."

Roxy just lazily gazed off to the side. She felt quite relieved after such a long cry, and didn't feel quite as bad, but she could still feel a painful sadness planted in depths of her heart, ready to grow and tangle itself around her again when it was ready. Her body felt heavy and her muscles felt useless. If given the choice, she wanted to just lay down and sleep until the pain went away.

"He's really gone…isn't he?" she spoke softly, her voice sounding empty and dead.

Miri let out a heavy sigh, and then replied, "It is tragic, but true…"

"I don't wanna believe it…"

Sighing again, Miri simply patted her on the back.

Just thinking about him made her want to cry more, but she was all cried out. She knew that she would probably be bawling again before the end of the day, but right now she was caught in a strange calm moment. It was like passing through a storm and reaching the eye in the centre.

Roxy groaned, feeling weak, and flopped to the side so that she was leaning against Miri's chest. She found herself staring out the open door of Makari's hut into the village beyond, which seemed less vibrant than before. Just one night before, out there was where they had…

"Why did you…?" Roxy started to ask.

"Hm?" Miri asked once she had trailed off.

Roxy bit her lip. The words hurt her, and so she rearranged them and asked the question again. "Why was he…cremated?" She didn't want to think about the funeral, or anything to do with his death, but it was all she could think about. With her tears and sadness at bay, her curiosity couldn't help but shine through for a moment.

"Fallen warriors have always been cremated," Miri replied in a soft tone, "Not only is it safer considering where we live and who our neighbours are, but some of us believe that burning the body helps the spirit to be set free."

"What do you mean…?"

"We all have a spirit inside of us…It is what makes us who we are. When we die, our bodies cannot be used any longer, but our spirit shall remain for eternity. Burning the body helps to sever all ties and allow the spirit to fly freely into the skies, away to better places beyond our world."

Roxy was silent as she pondered this.

"We see the smoke and the ashes rise up into the skies, and we like to believe our fallen brethren's spirit is with it. Some say the bonfires at the marking ceremonies are a way to call back the spirits, who join us for one evening of fun before departing once more."

"Oh…" Roxy was quiet for a few more moments, still staring listlessly out the door. Truth be told, talking about this sort of stuff was helping to get her mind off of things, without really getting her mind off of things. "Everyone was so quiet…"

"What do you mean?"

"Nobody said anything…" When Miri continued to not respond, Roxy clarified. "Where I come from, people give speeches at funerals and, like, talk about their life and stuff…"

"Oh, I see…" she replied, "Well, in our clan, the lighting of the pyre is a time of respect and reflection. The fallen have already lived their life, and the hope is that their life was impactful enough to speak for itself without anyone's help."

Roxy nodded softly, and then fell silent. Many minutes passed as Roxy just sat there, still as a ghost, staring off into space. As time wore on, she felt the desire to cry returning. With nothing to do and nothing to occupy her mind, all she could think about was Makari. He was in all of her thoughts, even in ones he didn't belong in.

"What were the berries for?" she asked. Roxy figured that learning new things was as good a way as any to keep herself from crying.

"The berries in the pyre?"

Roxy nodded. "Yeah…"

"Those were Aguav Berries," she explained, "Aguav Berries have a very strong scent, but the scent is very similar to the scent of the trees. We burn them so that their scent covers up the scent of the pyre. Any other Pokémon nearby would just smell more trees."

"Oh…" Roxy blinked, and then realized the reasoning behind that logic. She frowned. "Ohh…"

"We are thankful that Aguav Berries are not very tasty."

"Mm…" Roxy murmured quietly, almost silently.

"Some of our best foragers are assigned to find Aguav Berries. They are plentiful, but sometimes difficult to get off of the bushes."

Roxy abruptly let out a sound that was like a cross between a hiccup and a sob. It had come out of nowhere, and soon after she started to feel tears burning behind her eyes once more. Suddenly, her mind started to loudly remind her that Makari was dead and she was never going to see him again.

"Roxy…?" Miri spoke in concern.

"I can't believe he's gone…" she whined, sniffling as her vision became blurry.

"I know, Roxy…I know," Miri said with a pat on her back.

"I miss him so much…I-it hurts…"

"I miss him too, Roxy," Miri said, "He was a very close friend of mine. I have known him since he was very young, and he was always so kind and pleasant to me. It hurts me as well to have him taken away from us."

"I loved him…" Roxy murmured, "and…and I needed him…He was the only reason I didn't just give up and let the wilderness take me…"

"Oh, Roxy…Please do not cry. You are going to make me cry as well…"

Roxy sniffled and turned to look at Miri. There were a few small tears in the Audino's eyes, but she was trying her best to keep herself together. Truly, Roxy wanted nothing more than to cry forever and mourn Makari's death, but she remembered that it wasn't all about her. She wasn't the only one who was hurting.

So instead of breaking down and crying again, she shifted around in Miri's lap and leaned in to give her a big hug. Miri didn't hesitate to hug back.

"He was a brave warrior, Roxy, and our clan will never forget him."

"I just…don't know what to do now…What'm I s'posed to do?"

"No-one expects you to do anything right now, Roxy. Give it some time. Think back on all of the pleasant memories you shared with him and remember that he enjoyed life. He always seemed to have a smile on his face."

"I…" Roxy shivered a little. "I never got to say…"

"He knew, Roxy," Miri interrupted, "I am certain. He knew."

She buried her face into Miri's fur. "Miri…I'm scared."

"I know you are, sweetie. I know…"

Roxy tried her best to fight off the tears, but it was very difficult. She felt lost now. Makari hadn't just been a close friend and someone she had developed feelings for. He had also been her guide, her protector, and her rock. When things seemed their darkest in this horrible situation she was trapped in, Makari had always been there to bring her back to the light. Over the months no progress had been made towards getting her home, but she had always felt that one day Makari would be able to show her the way.

In a way, it felt like her escape rope had been cut off. She felt more trapped in this forest than ever before. He would no longer be there to comfort her, dry her tears, and keep her from panicking in this dangerous area.

Even since the very beginning, Makari had calmed her down. Insisting on bringing her back to the village where it was safe had only been the first in Makari's endless line of selfless acts. Roxy couldn't tell if it was just because he liked her too, or if he treated everybody like that, but Makari had done way more for her than anyone would have expected of him.

Losing the one she had such affection for was heart-wrenching enough, but the fact was that Makari was even more than just that. In just a few short months, he had become her 'everything'. Now he was gone, and she felt like she had nothing. Nothing to keep her sane and, worse, nothing to keep her safe.

Miri started to get up, jostling Roxy back to awareness. "Come on," she said softly.

"Huh?" Roxy asked as she was gently deposited on the ground.

The Audino reached into the leaf pouch she had around her shoulder and fished out some Oran Berries. "Have something to eat."

Roxy frowned and glanced away. "I'm not hungry…" she mumbled.

"I do not doubt it," Miri said, putting just a hint of authority into her voice, "but eat something anyway. It will make you feel better, I promise."

She hesitated a bit, and then reluctantly took one of the Orans. It didn't go down very well. Roxy had felt sick ever since the ghastly incident, and her stomach threatened to send the food right back up. However, she managed to keep it down.

"Thank you…" Roxy whispered.

"I know you will not feel like eating, but you still should. It is important after all." Miri finished off her own Oran, and then sat down next to her. "Do your best not to let this defeat you, Roxy. You do not have to do it right away, but eventually you must pick yourself back up and continue towards your goals."

"My goals are impossible now…"

"Nothing is impossible, Roxy."

Roxy turned her head and glanced up at the Audino, who gave her a sad but warm smile in return.

Then, Roxy scowled. "Aren't you upset?" she spat suddenly, "Don't you care? Makari was…he was…a-and he's gone now…!"

Miri frowned. "Roxy-"

"Stop smiling like everything's okay!"

"I am not-"

"Someone…" Roxy clenched her paws tightly. "S-someone just got murdered! This is so horrible! How can you smile like that?!"

Roxy held her eyes shut as tears started to stream down her cheeks. She quivered, feeling a mix of rage and anguish.

"Roxy…" Miri spoke in a soft voice, "I do care. However, remember, I have lived here for many years in this forest. Death is common."

The troubled Pikachu stiffened a little.

"Makari's death was tragic, but his was not the first, and it will not be the last. I have seen many brethren perish, some of them very close friends to me. Some of them…more than friends…" Miri was silent for a moment. "Each one is as painful as the last, but…I have learned how to get past the sorrow. To smile is important, even at the smallest things. The pain is still there, but a smile can help drive the dark clouds away."

Roxy sniffled, trying to keep herself from bawling again.

"I do miss him, Roxy. I shall miss him every day, and I am sure you will as well. None of us will be able to forget him."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you…" Roxy mumbled.

"Aww…" Miri lifted her into another quick hug. "I forgive you, Roxy. These are difficult times for you."

Roxy let out a heavy sigh, feeling that same emptiness inside. She tried her best to think positive, tried to think of something to smile about, but the only thing she knew she could look forward to was more crying. It was impossible for her to see anything but sadness on the horizon, and that notion only made her feel more depressed.

Miri had needed to leave eventually. She had tried to convince Roxy to go outside, get some exercise, and take a breath of fresh air, but she hadn't been successful. In the end, Roxy couldn't bring herself to do more than just lay there. At the very least, she promised Miri that she would eat something later.

The day passed by in a haze, and Roxy honestly spent almost every minute lying limply on her side, blankly staring out at nothing. She was empty. Completely out of fuel. She had no motivation, no drive, and no energy.

Makari had been with her every day she had been in this forest except for the first one. He had become such an integral and constant part to her adventure, and he had always seemed like an important part of the key to her escape. Roxy had no idea what exactly that might have entailed, but now it felt like that key had been shattered.

She was utterly terrified, and now she felt more alone than ever. She felt trapped, lost in a deep pit of despair and danger. In some ways, it felt like she was already dying and there was just a silent countdown until the moment that the dangers of the forest finally claimed her.

She had barely managed to survive with his help. Without him, what chance did she have?

At some point, one of the wise ones had come to visit her. Honestly, afterwards, she didn't even remember which one it had been.

They told her that she could stay in Makari's hut. They said something about discussing it and believing that Makari would have wanted it, but she barely responded beyond a tiny nod. They too had tried to encourage her to get up and go outside, but she couldn't be moved. She just laid there like a lump on the ground.

Eventually, Miri returned to keep her company. Then, eventually, she left. Roxy didn't blame her. Everyone had busy lives and important things to do in this village, after all.

She didn't know how many times she had broken down and cried as the hours of the day had gone past. The whole day was a messy blur to her. All she could remember was sadness and heartbreak. She wondered if she would ever have the strength to get up and move on, and began to doubt herself. She started to ponder dangerous questions, such as if there was anything she could have done to prevent this. Her mind was constantly agitated, but her body was just still.

She just felt so empty now.

The sun started to set. Miri had left the leaves parted, offering her a glance at the outside. The light was fading, causing her view of the village to slowly diminish and turn to darkened silhouettes. As the night grew closer, Roxy began to feel a sort of dread creep over her. What little stability she had started to crumble away. The darkness just seemed to bring out all of her negative emotions and magnify them.

She gasped quietly in surprise when she heard movement right outside of the doorway. Her heart thumped for a moment before they stepped in front of the door, revealing the silhouette of a Pikachu. Roxy immediately calmed down. She squinted through the darkness and tried to see who it was.

It was Taka. He was standing still in the doorway, looking right at her. It looked like he had paused in mid-step, and looked surprised to see her there.

The two stared at each other quietly. After a while, Roxy started to feel a sense of empathy forming. She tried to imagine just what Taka was going through. After all, he was Makari's brother. He must have been feeling loss just as much as she was.

"Taka…" she breathed, almost too soft for him to hear.

He continued to just stand there and stare at her. It was hard to see his expression in the waning light, but it seemed like a hard look that he was giving her. He wore a frown, but then again he always wore a frown. Roxy wanted to sit up and ask him what was wrong, but she just didn't have the energy nor the motivation.

Then, Taka suddenly scowled and growled, so softly that Roxy barely caught it, and promptly turned and walked away.

Roxy felt herself deflate even more as a painful sigh slipped past her lips.

The next morning arrived with Roxy once again waking up from a nightmare. After she stopped quivering and got her breathing under control, she realized that she had slept in for quite a few hours, and yet somehow didn't feel rested at all. She didn't want to move at all and just wanted to go back to sleep, but she forced herself to get up and eat one of the berries Miri had left her.

An hour or so later, the Audino herself stopped by once again. "Roxy," she greeted with a gentle smile, "How are you feeling?"

Roxy just glanced up from where she was sitting, half slumped forward, and gave a nonverbal response.

"Have you eaten breakfast?"

Roxy nodded.

"Good. That is good." Miri slowly stepped inside, standing awkwardly nearby for a moment before continuing. "I, uh… I have something to tell you. The wise ones have been discussing your…situation."

The lethargic Pikachu slowly rolled over onto her side and looked up at Miri, but still didn't say anything.

"With everything that has happened, it has become clear to them that you are not a fighter. It is simply not who you are…"

Roxy glanced away in shame for a moment.

"Yet, neither they nor anyone else in the village is callous enough to want to cast you out…So this is what they have decided…You may continue to stay in this village and be a part of this tribe, and you will no longer need to learn how to fight or leave the village for patrol or foraging duties."

"…Really?" Roxy whispered. Her voice sounded scratchy.

Miri nodded. "There is a downside, however…" she said with a frown, "Since you will not be able to contribute to the tribe, you will be given smaller rations of food to eat." After a pause, she added, "I am sorry, Roxy…Extra mouths to feed do make things difficult."

Roxy glanced away for a moment and considered this. Then, she looked back up at Miri and shrugged. "That's fair," she said simply, "I don't mind, really. I'm just more relieved to hear that I don't have to…do all of that stuff."

"Oh! Well…That is good to hear," Miri said, seeming a little surprised by her reaction.

Roxy just nodded tiredly and rolled over again, curling up into a furry little ball. "It's fine," she said sincerely, but wearily. Roxy wasn't bothered by the thought of getting less food. Honestly, she had thought that Makari had been treating her to too much food sometimes. As long as she had enough to live, well, she would survive. All she could think about was how great it was not to have that looming sense of responsibility to the tribe.

What was that they said about silver linings?

A long uncomfortable silence passed, though Roxy never heard Miri leave. Roxy was just resting her head and dealing with the sick feeling in her stomach. She didn't feel strong enough to do anything beyond eating dinner later, and that was just fine with her. It was just too hard to deal with sadness like this.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Roxy's ears perked up at the sound of Miri's voice, but nothing else on her body moved.

"Anything at all? Do you want to talk? Is there something I can bring you…?"

She could hear the concern in Miri's voice, and that only added another painful needle to her heart. Feeling the lowest that she had ever felt was one thing, but it was another thing altogether to bring down others with her. But, what could she say? Could Miri do anything for her? There was only one thing Roxy wanted, and she was pretty sure that Miri couldn't raise the dead.

"I hate to see you like this, Roxy…I know it hurts…"

Roxy sighed. Miri was such a kind soul. She had the perfect bedside manner. Unfortunately, Roxy felt like her wound was simply too deep.

She heard pawsteps as Miri began to leave. "Just let me know…" she said, "If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask…"

A few seconds passed, and Miri was nearly out the door. "Miri?"

The pawsteps stopped. "Yes?"

Roxy slowly, achingly, rolled over until she was sitting up. She could feel the gravity of depression trying to drag her back down to the ground, but she fought it so she could look up at Miri. The Audino had a small look of relief on her face.

"…Have you seen Taka?"

Miri stood there for a moment, and then frowned and shook her head. "I have not…"

"No?"

"No-one has seen him. No-one knows where he has gone to."

Roxy glanced away for a moment, frowning as she considered this. Had she actually seen him last night, or had that been a dream? She wasn't quite sure.

"Taka has been known to wander off for days at a time, though," Miri added, "Usually this frustrates the wise ones quite a bit, but in this case it is understandable."

"…He must be really torn apart…" Roxy murmured.

Miri sighed. "Who can say? Taka has always been a loner. He never knew his parents, never made any close friends…Makari was the only one he really trusted."

Roxy felt a stab through her heart upon hearing Makari's name, a trend that she was sure would continue for quite a while.

"If he is gone for much longer, we will go out and search for him…but for now, I think he just wants time alone."

Roxy hung her head and nodded softly. "Y-yeah…I get that…"

Miri stuck around for another couple of minutes, then said goodbye and left. Roxy sighed heavily once she was alone again. Yesterday was such a depression-filled haze that she really couldn't remember if Taka had actually been there or not.

Roxy couldn't imagine losing a brother; she had never had one. She could only imagine, though, that it was hurting Taka just as much as it was hurting her. Sure the reasons were a bit different, but they had both lost someone they loved dearly. Ironically, it was probably the first thing that they had in common.

What if it really had been him last night? He had come to this hut, which Roxy belatedly remembered used to be Makari's. Maybe he had wanted to spend some time reminiscing in his brother's home, and hadn't expected to find her there.

With a whine of distress, Roxy began to wonder if she had indirectly made him even more upset.

Roxy sighed once more and closed her eyes, feeling the tears starting to come yet again. Already she was sick of crying, but she felt like it would just keep happening over and over. The pain and the longing never seemed to get any better. Makari had taken a place in her heart, and a piece of her heart had gone with him when he had been taken away.

It truly felt like the wound would never heal.