Chapter 17 - What Makes You Special?
It took three days for Roxy to get up and leave the hut for more than a couple of minutes.
She had spent that time lying uselessly in Makari's old hut, without the strength or energy to do anything. She spent every minute thinking about Makari, and every thought left her with a heavy pain in her heart. Miri stopped by twice a day to see how she was doing and to talk to her, and a few other villagers visited to give their condolences.
Finally, though, she was up on her paws and stepping through the doorway into the chilly winter air. Roxy had heard that time healed all wounds. She wasn't sure if that was completely true, because she still felt completely awful, but she did feel a little better.
Perhaps it was the thought that Makari was somewhere watching her, which was a thought that she had often. She realized how pathetic and sad she must have looked if he was indeed watching her. Roxy had no solid beliefs about life after death, but since Makari had died she had started to hope that there was some form of afterlife that would keep his spirit alive somehow.
The words of Miri and the others were starting to ring true. 'Makari would have wanted…' they would all say.
When she had woken up this morning, Roxy had taken a good look inside of herself. The pain, the depression, and that feeling of emptiness were all still there. They hurt just as badly. She was sure there would still be moments when she would unexpectedly feel like bursting into tears.
However, she also reflected upon what she had gone through. Roxy's stay in the village had been quite tumultuous, but she looked back on how her training had gone. In the time before she had gone on that fateful foraging trip, she had learned how to push herself to do things she didn't want to do. Roxy had wondered if she still had that strength somewhere inside.
Perhaps she did, since she was standing outside of Makari's hut. A part of her did want to just crawl back inside and hide again, but she couldn't deny that the fresh air was a relief. It was bitterly cold, but the smells of the forest were still there and they reminded her that this place, while utterly dangerous, was still a place of beauty.
Roxy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She felt turbulent all over, like one wrong move would shatter her entire being like glass. She knew, though, that this was something she had to do. No matter how hard it would be, she didn't want to just lie in the hut every day for the rest of her life.
This is what Makari would have wanted. She was knocked down, and he would have wanted her to get back up.
Roxy started to take a slow walk around the village. There weren't many villagers around at the moment. Roxy figured they were mostly inside, or out on patrol. Still, though, she kept her head low and didn't look anyone in the eye. It wasn't that she wanted to be antisocial, but she didn't quite feel ready to strike up casual conversations. She promised herself that that step would come later.
Thankfully, the other Pokémon seemed to sense this and respect her wishes. A lot of them waved to her and called out a 'hello', which she returned with a polite nod, but none of them pressed her for more interaction.
She walked around the village in as wide of a circle as she dared, taking care not to stray too close to the village edge. She had to admit that it felt nice to get out and walk. The air, though very chilly, was quite calming and relaxing. She felt like her thoughts didn't wander to dark places as much now that she was up and moving. Eventually, she had circled back around to where she had started, at Makari's hut.
There, Roxy paused and sighed. She couldn't lie. The village of the Thunder Clan was different without him. The whole tribe had lost something valuable when his life had been taken away. It, like many other things, would never be the same again.
This was a big change to her life. Roxy had already dealt with a huge change, when she had first found herself here. Things had gotten a lot better since her first few nights here. Roxy could only hope that the same would happen again.
But then, she felt bad for thinking that. To her addled mind, it sounded like she wanted to try and forget about him. Roxy shook her head and tried to tell herself that it wasn't true, but her mind was in a very pessimistic place. She was still so mixed up emotionally. She wanted to remember Makari forever and never forget about him, but did that mean suffering forever from the pain of losing him?
Roxy eventually found her paws taking her to a different place. She entered the clearing in a quiet and respectful way, and waited off to the side until the three Raichu noticed her. She tried not to eavesdrop, but it sounded like they were talking about something that had them concerned.
"Hm?" Natoka grunted as he turned his head and noticed her.
"It is Roxy!" Karizu proclaimed, "Hello, young one. It is so nice to see you."
She took a few more steps into the clearing, standing at the base of the large mound. "Hello," she said, rather quietly but still loud enough for them to hear.
"Greetings, Roxy," Ozu spoke, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay. Thanks for asking," she said, telling a white lie.
"We must admit that we were worried about you," Karizu said to her, "but it is good to see you out of the hut."
Roxy nodded. "I, uh…I just wanted to thank you. Y'know, for the…um…your consideration about me and the food and…stuff…" She trailed off and started scuffing the ground with her hind paw.
"Ah yes, well…" Karizu's expression changed into a sad smile, as did Ozu's. Natoka didn't seem like he was paying attention.
"Yours is definitely a highly unusual case," Ozu said, "We at first felt that we had to try and have you conform to our standards, and we tried to help you along the way, but it seems that is not to be the case."
"We are very sorry that we have to limit your food," Karizu said, sincere apology in his tone, "It is just that-"
"No, no, no," Roxy said, waving her forepaws in the air, "It's fine. Really, I'm being honest. I'll survive. I'm just glad I don't have to…you know…" She trailed off again and suddenly decided that the ground was very interesting to look at. Thinking about going on patrol had made her remember the reason why Makari had been killed. She shivered a little and tried to steel herself against the tears that threatened to fall.
"Are you sure you are okay?" Ozu asked.
It took her at least half a minute before she finally squeaked out, "…No."
She clenched her eyes shut as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. There was quite a long period of uncomfortable silence before someone finally spoke up.
"Would you like to come up and sit with us?"
Roxy sniffled, wiped some of the tears away with her paw, and looked up at the Raichu. "Huh…?"
Karizu smiled and patted a spot next to where he was sitting. Ozu also had an inviting look on his face, though Natoka still seemed disinterested. Was he pointedly looking away?
"Are you…Really?" she murmured.
"Why not?" Ozu asked.
Roxy blinked, and then she couldn't help but chuckle a little. Even after all this time, she still forgot that the wise ones were not to be treated like 'royalty'. They were rulers just because they were the strongest and smartest. There wasn't much pomp and circumstance required when in their presence.
She nodded in thanks and then clambered her way up onto the mound. She sat down between Karizu and Ozu, sighing and wiping away a few more tears. "I'm sorry…" she muttered, though she tried her best to smile, "I'm just a mess…"
"That is understandable, young one."
"I'm trying…I'm trying so damn hard…"
Ozu patted her on the back. "We know you are."
"I want to be strong…to move on and…do all of the things that he thought I could do." A stray tear ran down her cheek. "But sometimes it feels like I'll never feel better."
"Well," Karizu said, "in a way, there will be a wound in you that will never fully heal. That is what happens when we lose the ones we love…" When Roxy looked up at him, he continued. "Miri has told us that this is…your first experience with death?"
She nodded.
"Then this wound may be especially deep…"
"But," Ozu politely cut in, "tell me, Roxy…What happens to a deep wound if it does not kill you?"
Roxy furrowed her brow and considered the grisly question. "It, uh…heals?" Ozu nodded, but continued to look at her as if he was expecting more of an answer, so she gave it a bit more thought. "The wound, um…it closes up. The body fixes itself."
Ozu nodded sagely. "But what is left behind?"
She was silent for a moment, before she whispered her answer. "A scar…"
He nodded once more. "That scar shall always be there. You will always notice it, and it will always sting a little bit…but it can also serve as a reminder. An immortalization. Warriors wear their scars with pride. It shows others that they went through tough times, but were strong enough to come out on top."
Roxy brought up a paw and held it to her chest. It felt like there was real scar on her chest, hovering on the edge of existence like a phantom.
"Makari's death has wounded us all," Karizu said calmly, "Some of us…much more than others. But the wounds will heal and we will all be left with scars. That, young one, is one way that he will never be forgotten."
Roxy glanced up at the two Raichu, a small frown on her face. That was what she had been worried about; forgetting Makari. If what they said was true, then she would always have a 'scar' to remember him by. Roxy didn't have any actual scars on her body, so she didn't quite know what it felt like to live with one.
"That's…That kind of helps…" she said after a moment.
"It is a belief that our whole tribe shares," Karizu said, "Death is never easy. It is finding ways to fight back against the sadness and despair that will make things better."
Roxy closed her eyes for a moment and imagined herself standing there with a huge scar across her chest. In her mind's eye, she reached up and gingerly touched the scar. Then, he was there. She could picture him so clearly. His warm smile, his calming eyes, and that sense of quiet optimism that he always seemed to radiate.
When she opened her eyes, she gazed up at the two Raichu again and then sighed. Ozu reached over and patted her back once more. "It will get better."
"I know…" she said sincerely.
Looking up at them, she could see that they were both sad as well. They were clearly much better at dealing with it, but neither of them were moving on as if Makari had never existed. They were being so nice to her, and she was so thankful for that. She stole a glance over at Natoka, who had his back to the three of them. He didn't seem upset, rather he just seemed like he didn't want to be a part of the conversation. He had always been a bit distant and antisocial, so Roxy didn't take offense to it. She had Ozu and Karizu to make her feel better.
"Thanks for this…" she said.
"You are not alone, Roxy," Ozu said, "Remember that. You are a part of this clan now. We care about you, just as you clearly care about us. If you ever need something, even just a shoulder to cry on, remember that you are not alone."
Roxy smiled tiredly and nodded. Her smile was tainted with the poison of sadness, and she could feel its toxins in her chest even as she smiled. That would last for a while, but she just had to believe that it would eventually get better. Move forward, keep pushing, don't give up.
It's what Makari would have wanted.
She took a breath to relax herself and spent a moment just looking at her surroundings. As she turned her head to look at the nearby trees, something caught her eye that was sitting just behind the Raichu. She turned her gaze upon it and her eyes danced a little in wonder. "Is that…?"
Ozu turned around, curious to see what she was looking at. "Ah," he said in recognition as he picked it up with his paws and brought it closer so she could see.
Roxy's eyes sparkled as she gazed at the Thunder Stone. She had only ever seen them in books before. It was a shiny green crystal, almost totally translucent, with the image of a lightning bolt near the middle. It was radiating a soft green glow, and Roxy could swear she saw electricity dancing through the inside of it.
She leaned in a little closer, and immediately she could feel the energy radiating off of it. It swept through the air and passed straight through her body, giving her a very stimulating feeling. It felt like every electron in her body had just taken a shot of espresso. She knew that this was the evolutionary energy contained within that small stone, the power with which three known Pokémon could use to instantly evolve.
Her curiosity got the better of her for a moment as she started to reach out her paw towards it, but she snapped it back to her side before she made contact.
"A Thunder Stone…" she breathed.
"Is that what the humans call them?" Karizu asked with a chuckle, "We know them as the 'Sacred Stones'."
Roxy nodded in answer to the question.
"They are extremely rare out here," Karizu continued to explain, "Only a few know the proper way to seek them out. We are lucky if we can find more than one in the span of four seasons."
"When one of our tribe is selected to become one of us, the wise ones," Ozu added, "they are given one of the few sacred stones that we have, and can become a Raichu."
"Wow…" Roxy murmured. It was really fascinating to see. She had grown up knowing that one of those things could be used to make her evolve, something which she had no interest in, but she had never actually seen one. She wanted to hold it, but was afraid it would accidentally make her evolve. Pokémon were able to stop evolution, right? She racked her brain for the answer.
"It's very pretty," she said, continuing to gaze at it.
Both Karizu and Ozu let out a soft sigh. Then, after a moment of silence, Karizu said something to her in a quiet voice.
"It was to be Makari's."
Roxy's eyes opened a little wider as she absorbed this information. For a moment, she just sat there and continued to silently stare at the stone. Then, she slowly turned to look up at Karizu with a vulnerable look on her face and whispered, "…What?"
"We had decided…that Makari would be the next wise one."
"As soon as one was needed," Ozu added, "Makari would have been presented with the stone."
"He would have made a fine leader…"
Roxy blinked slowly, trying to comprehend what she was hearing. "Did…" she whispered, "Did he know?"
Karizu shook his head. "The choice is not revealed until it is time for the stone to be given."
She wanted to say something else, but found for a moment that her jaw didn't seem to work. Muddled emotions began welling up inside of her upon learning this news. She continued to stare at the stone blankly. Minutes of absolutely nothing passed by, and then she started to feel agitated. Restlessness began to stir within her.
"I…I gotta…" she mumbled as she stood up.
Karizu and Ozu looked at her with mild concern, silently asking where she was going.
Roxy closed her eyes for a moment and steeled herself. When she opened them again, all she said was, "I need to be alone for a little bit…"
When the two Raichu nodded their heads respectfully, she nodded back in thanks and then started to turn around. She hesitated for a second as her eyes fell upon Natoka, who still had neither moved nor said a word. She briefly considered saying something to him, but decided against it.
Right now, she just needed to leave.
Roxy left the glade and walked around aimlessly for a little bit. She wanted to keep her promise to herself and stay out of Makari's hut for more of the day, but she couldn't decide where she wanted to go. Emotions that she wasn't even sure she could identify were boiling up inside of her and threatening to spill over.
Finally, she found a spot within the village where no-one was around. Roxy quickly slipped into the deserted training area.
Roxy stood near the back end, took in a deep breath, and let it out in a shuddering sigh. She was shocked to hear about Makari's Thunder Stone. If he were still alive, he could have been looking forward to holding the most respected position in this tribe. It was like the biggest kind of a 'promotion'.
Now it would never happen. Life had cruelly taken him away before he had even known about it. Had Makari guessed? Had he even aspired to such a position? Roxy would never know, and the world would never know either. It was just another thing cut short.
It…wasn't…fair…!
Roxy quickly realized that the emotion welling up inside of her was anger. She opened her mouth and let out a loud, frustrated scream, and simultaneously drew her fist back and punched it as hard as she could into one of the nearby targets.
The woods fell still as Roxy stood there, panting heavily and shedding more tears. There were tiny rivulets of blood running down the wooden target from where her paw had struck it. She seethed from the pain, but she didn't care. She was just too upset.
She swore loudly and shook her head. "Why…?" she then muttered, "Why did it have to be like this…?"
Roxy couldn't remember the last time she had felt this angry. Everything that had just happened in the last few days felt like an injustice to Makari, to her, and to the whole universe. It was a wrong that she was both desperate and powerless to right. Seeing Makari's Thunder Stone had just reminded her that it was one of many things he would never experience. He would never see it, and he would never get to feel the excitement of being chosen to receive one.
He would never get to become a Raichu.
Roxy was weeping once more, but for a change she didn't feel like sobbing or curling up into a little ball. She wanted to growl and scream and let out all of her frustration.
She wanted to hit more things.
The frustrated Pikachu took a moment, though, and glanced off to the side. She eyed the pile of practice spears, and then went over to pick one up. If she was going to hit things, no use hurting herself any more, right?
With another frustrated growl, she started to swing her spear wildly at the targets, the support beams, and anything else in the training area that looked hittable. She didn't care if anyone saw her. She didn't even care if she ended up breaking something. All Roxy cared about right now was letting out all of her frustration and anger at the way things had gone.
"Makari should be here!" she said as she whacked a target. "He should get that stone!" she shouted, slashing at another target. "He should be awesome and amazing and wonderful, but now he can't!" With that final exclamation, she brought the spear up high over her head and swung it down as hard as she could on the target in front of her.
There was a resounding WHACK that echoed through the village. It was quickly followed by Roxy's yelp of pain.
She seethed a little and held her paw up to the tender area on her face where the wooden shaft had bounced right back off of the target and hit her. She couldn't feel any blood, but it really stung. She let out a little groan and softly rubbed the sore spot.
"Thanks, universe…" she muttered darkly.
Roxy then glanced down at the spear she had dropped in surprise. She reached down and picked it up. She was still mad enough to hit things, but certainly didn't want that to happen again. As she took a moment's pause and gazed down at the practice spear, she remembered something that Taka had once taught her about knockback.
She gripped the spear and faced the target, once again imagining that it represented all of the problems she was facing. She racked her brain and tried to remember what Taka had taught her. She had learned something about how precisely to strike so as to minimize knockback.
It took a bit of effort to remember his lesson, but when she next struck the target with just as much force, she didn't end up with another stinging welt on her face. Roxy focused and hit the target a third time, receiving the same successful result. Roxy let out a quiet grunt of approval, complimenting herself for remembering what Taka had taught her.
But what about her punch? Hadn't Taka taught her something about that too…?
Roxy then resumed attacking the targets, both with and without her spear. This time, though, she started thinking back on the lessons Taka had taught her. Before long, she found herself surprised at just how much she could remember.
Soon, she wasn't so much taking out her aggression, but rather training and practicing. So many of Taka's lessons started to come back to her, and she ended up practicing each one and seeing if she could still do it.
Eventually, Roxy glanced up and was shocked to see that the sun was setting. She immediately questioned just how long she had been there. Where had the time gone? Apparently, she had been training all day and hadn't even realized it.
Roxy put down her spear and contemplated this for a moment.
"…Huh."
The next day arrived. Roxy awoke bright and early, and immediately went to the training area. By the time the sun was up past the horizon, Roxy had already begun to practice. As morning passed overhead and shifted into noon, Roxy spent the whole time training.
She had hardly even paid any attention to the fact that it had snowed overnight. It wasn't a whole lot, as it had stopped falling from the sky before she had woken up. Rather, there was simply a thin coating of white covering the ground and the trees. It was only slightly chillier than it had been in the past few days.
Roxy found that training was the perfect thing to keep her mind occupied. When she had been sitting around, doing nothing, her whole mind had been filled with horrible thoughts, crushing depression, and worsening anxiety. Training was giving her brain a chance to focus on something else.
It was working great. Roxy did not completely forget about Makari. He was still present in her thoughts, but she didn't allow her mind to dwell on them. She needed to focus on remembering the proper techniques and keeping her stance steady. It turned out to be very therapeutic.
She, of course, took breaks every now and then to rest or to eat something. In those moments of downtime, she did feel her mood slip a little bit as she started to veer back towards those darker thoughts. However, she found that it wasn't as bad. With her mind working on a challenge like this, she was still using it to reflect on what she had just done and think of ways to improve.
A few others stopped by to train, and she greeted them all with a smile and a wave. She didn't feel better enough to smile brightly and act cheerful, but her cloudy mood was starting to let a few rays of sunshine through.
Miri stopped by as well to see how she was feeling, and was pleasantly surprised to see such an improvement in Roxy's demeanour. She wasn't patronizing at all, and was happy to let Roxy get back to what she was doing.
The whole day passed by, and Roxy spent it improving her skills. A lot of Taka's lessons were coming back to her, and she was even beginning to teach herself. She had figured out the basics of the sharpened wooden sticks that resembled daggers all on her own. Though maybe not quite as optimistic as she could be, Roxy started to feel a little of that confidence, which she had lost on that fateful outing, starting to return.
The sun started to set, and most of the villagers started to return to their huts. Roxy decided that she would get in another ten minutes or so of training and then go do the same.
She gripped the spear tightly in her paws and stared at the waiting target. She had been practicing with the bows, the daggers, and even experimented a little with the boomerang, but now she had returned to the trusty spear. After just a few moments of silent preparation, she started to dash forward. With a mighty leap in the air, Roxy performed a perfect jump slash. A solid, perfectly straight scratch mark appeared on the wooden target, bisecting it perfectly.
Roxy straightened up from her landing and let out a huff, smiling in satisfaction at her accomplishment. That had been one of the first things she had ever learned, and she was getting close to mastering it. In a way, it was still astounding to her. If the Roxy of last year could see what she was doing now, she would be floored.
Her ears twitched as she heard pawsteps in the snow. She turned to see who it was, and almost dropped her spear.
Standing at the edge of the training area, equally frozen in place, was none other than Taka.
The warrior was looking at her with an unreadable expression. His brows were furrowed, but his eyes were wide. To Roxy, it looked sort of like a mix between surprise and crossness. Roxy, meanwhile, just stared at him. Taka had been missing since the funeral, and everyone had been getting really worried about him. Now, here he was, just standing there. Roxy was afraid that if she did anything, Taka would run away again like a frightened Deerling.
His eyes were moving around, taking in what he saw. Was he surprised to see that she was training? Roxy thought that he looked indecisive about something. She could only imagine what might be going through his head, given recent events.
Then, slowly, a frown began to form, until Taka scowled and spat out an irritated groan. He then turned tail and ran off.
"Hey!" Roxy called after him, quickly discarding her spear and taking off on all fours in pursuit. "Taka, wait!" she called as she ran, "Come back! Please!"
Taka didn't stop or even slow down. He didn't answer her, and he didn't even turn his head back to acknowledge her. He simply kept running through the trees, and he was really fast which made it hard for Roxy to keep up.
"Taka!" she called again through her panting, straining to keep him in sight. This was hard enough despite the fact that she was worn out after training all day. "Taka, stop!" She couldn't let him get away, though. Taka was obviously going through some really difficult emotions, which had to be the reason why he had been missing in action. Also, though, she just really wanted to talk to him about what had happened.
Roxy darted around a tree, having almost lost sight of the speedy Pikachu. She was just barely able to see him reach the base of a thick tree and climb it. She slowed down for a moment and caught her breath, thankful that it wasn't yet too dark for her to have seen him. Once she could breathe properly again, she made her way towards the base of the tree.
There, she craned her neck and looked up. The tree was really tall, but she couldn't see Taka anywhere up there. "Taka?" she called out, but again received no answer. Roxy figured that he could have just easily jumped from tree to tree and gotten away from her, but she figured she had to at least try.
Roxy then began to scale the tree as well. This was the one thing she was very adept at doing, having climbed countless trees back home. She had developed an impressive sense of balance when it came to skinny platforms such as branches. With a series of quick little hops, she ascended higher and higher into the tree. The branches were covered with a little bit of snow, but she just made sure to take extra care with her footing.
The tree just kept going though. She was only about halfway up when she figured she would have been near the top. This may have been the tallest tree in the forest for all she knew. Luckily, Roxy was scared of a lot of things, but heights didn't bother her at all.
Finally, as she neared the top and the tree started to thin out, Roxy glanced upwards. There, perched on the highest branch that could support his weight, was Taka. His boomerang was hooked onto his back and he was facing away from her, staring out at the sunset.
"Taka?" she called up to him, quieter this time. When he still didn't respond, she said, "Taka, please…I just wanna talk to you. Everybody's been worried about you…" She frowned and hopped up one more branch. "It's…been a really hard time. For me. For everyone. I know you don't really like to show weakness and all that, but…He was your brother, Taka…I know you must be hurting."
"Go. Away."
Roxy froze in surprise from the harsh, icy tone in Taka's voice. It didn't sound anything like the Taka she knew. Regardless, she didn't back down. "I…Taka, I just…I-I don't think it's good for you to…Well, I dunno if I'm really an expert on this…" She hopped up another branch, leaving only one more branch between him and her. "It's just that this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through…and it still hurts so much…so I can only imagine how much it hurts you…right?" Roxy gazed up imploringly at him, but he still didn't move a muscle.
She frowned and leapt up towards the next branch. "Taka, c'mon. I-" When she landed, however, her hind paws slipped on the snow that was covering the branch. "Waah!" she cried out in sudden panic as her paws slipped out from under her. Seconds later, she was airborne. Time seemed to slow down for a moment as she realized that she had just slipped off of a branch at the top of one of the tallest trees in the forest.
Roxy closed her eyes and screamed again. If this didn't kill her, it was going to hurt.
A mere half-second later, after her life had briefly flashed before her eyes, Roxy's fall was halted. Her scream died on her lips and she opened her eyes. She hadn't landed on anything, but was now dangling suspended in the air.
Roxy glanced up, and marveled at what she saw. Taka had slipped off of his own branch, using both his tail and his boomerang to hold onto it and hang below it, and had grabbed onto her paw with his other free forepaw.
For a moment, she just stared up at him dumbly. Taka had caught her. Barely a single second had passed since her paws had slipped on the snow, and he had leapt into action and caught her before she could fall. A moment later, a shiver ran up her spine as she imagined what could have just happened to her.
Taka just stared down at her with a plain expression, looking neither relieved nor angry. He looked at her in silence for a moment as he continued to hang there with her, and then he indicated with a nod of his head that she should climb back to safety on the branch in front of her. He swung her just a little bit forward, and she was able to securely grab onto the branch she had slipped off of. A moment later she had climbed up on it, after which Taka swung himself back up onto his own branch.
She took a breath to slow her rapid heartbeat, and then looked up at the other Pikachu. He had gone back to sitting in that same spot, but now he was looking over his shoulder at her. A moment later, he shifted to the side, away from the tree's trunk.
"If you insist on staying," he said in a low voice, though not quite as icy as before, "then sit up here where you will not fall." He punctuated his statement by tapping his paw on the empty spot between himself and the trunk.
Roxy was silent for a moment, and gazed up at him. He might have just saved her life, for all she knew. It still didn't seem like he wanted to talk, but it did seem much safer sitting next to him and against the trunk, rather than just standing on a snow-covered branch. Besides, she had to thank him.
A moment later, she jumped up gracefully and pulled herself up onto the branch next to Taka. She sat herself down securely, resting against the trunk and curling her tail around the branch a bit for stability. Once she was comfortable, she turned to look at Taka. He had returned to gazing out silently at the sunset. At first she thought of saying something to him, but then decided to turn and look out at the sunset as well.
The sight truly did take her breath away. She had never seen the sunset without all of the trees in the way. It was sinking below the tree-filled horizon, casting the warm colours of dusk across the sky and the clouds. Its waning light filtered through the distant trees, casting the whole land in a strange but beautiful illumination. It again reminded Roxy of just how beautiful this forest could be.
After at least five minutes of total silence had passed between them, Roxy finally opened her mouth. "Thank you," she said in a quiet voice, "Thank you for…catching me."
As she figured, he didn't reply. She didn't dwell on it, though. The most important thing to her was having expressed her gratitude to him. Instead, complete silence reigned as the two watched the sun set. The silence lasted for quite a few minutes, until Roxy finally decided that she needed to say something else.
"…I'm sorry you lost your brother."
She turned to look at him, but still it was as if she were not even there.
"I've…I didn't have siblings growing up. I don't know what it's like to have a brother. So, um…I can't say I know how you feel right now. Not exactly." She paused and glanced away, biting her lip a little. "I just know that I…I cared for Makari so much." She started to choke up a little, but kept on speaking. "And it hurts so much, now that he's gone…"
Roxy took a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. "To me…he was special, but to you…he was your brother. He was family. If it hurts me this bad, I can only imagine how much it hurts you. And…I, um…" Roxy stammered over her words for a moment. "I'm sorry…I know you don't, y'know…like to show emotions, or whatever. I just…I know how it feels. Partially, anyway. I just wanna be there f-"
"Shut! Up!"
Letting out a quiet little screech, Roxy jumped just as much as her heart did, and she shied away from Taka's sudden outburst. She had nearly fallen out of the tree again.
Taka had turned to look at her, and was now giving her a rather venomous glare with his teeth grit in anger. He was taking in quick, deep breaths. To Roxy, it looked like he was barely holding in his anger and was trying to keep himself from lashing out at her. Roxy was not shy to admit that she was scared.
After about thirty tense seconds, Taka's glare softened a bit. He closed his mouth into a frown and furrowed his brow, keeping his gaze locked on her. Then, finally, he let out a heavy sigh and turned away. Roxy remained frozen on the spot until she saw his shoulders slump and his head hang down a touch.
"Why you?" he muttered almost under his breath.
Roxy carefully shifted herself back into a secure sitting position. "What…?" she spoke in a soft, calm voice.
"I cannot understand it…" Taka continued to mutter, "Why you? What it is about you? What is so special about you?"
Roxy blinked and tilted her head. "What d'you mean?"
Taka tilted his head to look at her, and he still had half of a glare on his face. Roxy flinched just a little.
"Makari was there since I was an egg," Taka spoke, "Whatever happened, and whatever the world threw our way, we were always brothers and we were always there for one another. We knew everything about each other." Taka then turned back to the sunset. "Then suddenly, you drop right out of the sky, and he becomes obsessed with you. Suddenly everything is about you. Night and day. Your every whim is of utmost importance."
Roxy hesitated, not sure how to respond. "I…I, uh…"
"From the moment he met you, he insisted that we bring you back to the village and do everything to keep you safe. He knew you for a pawful of months, and it was obvious even before he said so that he had fallen in love with you. Why? Why you? What makes you so special that you could get inside of his head so quickly?!"
Now Roxy was frowning, idly twiddling with her paws. "I…I dunno…" she murmured, "I just…I loved him. I was so happy when I knew that he loved me too…" This line of conversation was easily drawing out her tears, but she just wiped them away and kept talking. "I was just…Th-that's just love, right? It just…happens. I can't explain it, but I could never change it either…Haven't you ever loved someone like that?"
Taka just continued to stare at the sunset with a moody expression. "I do not think I will ever understand it…" he muttered, frustration evident in his voice, "You became so much a part of his life. He started neglecting his duties to take care of you, and before he would have never done that. From the moment you arrived, you somehow managed to take all of his attention for yourself. You were like a Delcatty, somehow poisoning his mind with infatuation. Heaven forbid he would spend the time to speak with me, his own brother…!"
Roxy stared at him in silence for a moment, the gears in her head turning. "Taka…" she ventured slowly, "Are you- Were you…jealous of me?"
Taka turned and gave her a glare that suggested he wouldn't hesitate to push her right off of the branch.
She quickly backpedaled. "Well, okay, maybe 'jealous' isn't the right word, but…Are you upset because I, um…sorta…took him away from you?"
He didn't reply, and simply sighed in frustration as he turned his gaze away from her once more. Roxy bit her lip. All she had were wonderful, happy memories with Makari, and just thinking of him made her heart ache. But, had those happy times come at the cost of making Taka upset? That definitely hadn't been her intention. She tried to convince herself that Taka was just overreacting because he was upset.
To that end, Roxy commented to herself that she had never seen Taka like this before. He was handling it in his own unique way, but Taka was definitely upset. This was good, right? This was why she had wanted to talk to him.
"Do you know what my brother's last words were?"
Roxy's heart skipped a beat. She stared at him, wide-eyed. "…What?"
Taka slowly turned his gaze back up to her, giving her an eerily calm glare. "The last words Makari ever spoke…The last thing he said to be before he could breathe no more…Do you know what he said?"
She thought back, and she could vaguely remember Makari whispering something in his ear. Not knowing what had been said, she timidly shook her head.
"Six words." Taka then turned himself around so that he was facing her more directly. He stared at her with that icy look of his, remaining silent for a few seconds, and then he leaned in close to her. Roxy's fur stood on end as he whispered the words to her, just as Makari had whispered them to him.
"'Keep her safe. Keep her happy.'"
As he leaned back away from her, Roxy felt as if her heart had stopped entirely. She was left with her jaw hanging open slightly, staring off into space as this news set in. The revelation that Makari had used his last precious breath to tell this to Taka hit her with a mix of emotions. It was astounding, and it was really touching. It warmed her heart in such a powerful way. Even to the very end, Makari had shown that he had truly loved her, and it brought a tear to her eye.
At the same time, looking at Taka and his angered expression, Roxy also felt troubled. What Makari had said was wonderful to her, but she could easily see how it was far less wonderful to him. It made her feel like she didn't deserve those words, and that they should have been something else that would have made Taka feel happier. Roxy was just in disbelief. Had Makari really said that?
"Taka, I…I don't know what to say…"
"My own brother…" he murmured, "Moments from death…and that is what he had to say."
"I'm s-"
"Do you understand now?" Taka suddenly snapped, "Why you?!"
"I don't know!" Roxy suddenly shouted, anguish in her voice and tears streaking down her fur.
Taka kept his gaze on her steady, but didn't say anything else.
"I'm sorry, Taka! It just happened. Isn't that what love's s'posed to do?! He made me so happy, Taka. I was miserable out here, and I still am, but he made things so much better. I didn't mean to make you upset and I'm sorry if I did, a-and I…I…"
After a moment of watching her fumble over her words, Taka sighed and closed his eyes. His anger seemed to wash away from him, leaving him calm and collected.
Roxy sniffled, trying to get her own emotions under control, impossible though it seemed. "Taka…We both loved Makari. In some ways it was different, but in some ways it was the same. I know he was your brother and you two have been so close for your whole lives. I don't know what that's like, so I don't know exactly how you feel…but I was in love with him. In a different way, I was just as close to him as you were…"
She brought her paw up to wipe away more of her tears. "Taka I hate feeling like this…a-and everybody in the village is getting worried about you. Can we please…just be strong for each other? You lost a brother, and I lost…a very, very special Pokémon… I've never had a brother, but have you ever lost someone that you loved the way I loved Makari?"
He didn't answer. He didn't even look at her.
"…Taka?"
He softly grumbled, so Roxy decided to drop the conversation. She sniffled and wiped away some more tears. This wasn't what she wanted. Losing Makari had left a big enough hole in her heart. She didn't need to have it torn open larger by Taka's harsh words.
"You will never know what it is like…"
Roxy perked up at the sound of Taka's quiet voice.
"To stare into your brother's dying eyes…beg the heavens to let him hold on just a little bit longer…He only has precious few seconds, precious few breaths left, and he doesn't even say to you 'I love you'…'I will miss you'…'Be strong, my brother'…"
She gazed at him as he spoke. There was obvious pain in his words. Deep pain. Yet, he was holding himself together remarkably well. No tears, no sobbing, not even a frown on his face. Taka was managing to keep all of his emotions safely inside of him. That wasn't healthy, was it?
It felt like a stab in the heart, though, to hear those words. It gave her a little bit of an insight into what Taka was going through. It was hard for her to put her own pains aside and see the pains of others, though she knew they were there. Taka had lost a part of his family forever, and there had been no parting words between them.
Then, a thought occurred to her. "Taka?"
He didn't answer.
"Taka…Why didn't you say anything at your brother's funeral?"
Taka turned and gave her a glance with one eye, caught somewhere between skeptical and irritated.
"Please, just…tell me the answer?" Roxy begged.
The other Pikachu closed his eyes once more, and then spoke. "We do not speak at funerals," he stated, echoing Miri's words from earlier, "The deceased's life has been lived. Their accomplishments, their tragedies, their loves and their hates, and everything of value that they contributed to the world…these are things that need not be said, because they are there for all to see."
Roxy nodded. "Uh huh," she said, "You don't say anything because everybody knows. Well, um…Makari was doing the same, I think."
Taka gave her a puzzled look.
"Makari didn't say that he loved you because…well, because you already knew that. I think Makari was sure of this. There was no need to say he loved you because you both knew it." Roxy glanced away and mulled this thought over for a bit. "I guess…that's why he didn't say it to me either." She smiled a moment later.
When she looked back towards Taka, his expression hadn't changed. She started to get a little nervous that she wasn't getting her point across.
"Makari…" She sighed. "Makari was just so loving…and caring…I think, in a way, he loved everyone in this village. Maybe given enough time, he would love everyone in the whole forest, or the whole world! He knew…that you knew that he loved you…but he didn't know if I would be okay." Roxy bit her lip and held her foreleg with a paw. "That's…why he said that…"
While he still didn't answer, Taka's gaze had softened and he had turned back to the sunset.
"He was so compassionate. Who am I? I'm nobody out here, but he still cared so much about me. In a way, I guess he still does…"
"He was very brave. A strong warrior like no other."
Roxy looked over in surprise when she heard Taka speak. After a moment of silence, she added, "He was…"
"He was very smart. He always had the answer."
A small smile appeared on Roxy's face. "He was very generous."
"He handled his errors with dignity and respect."
"He was a sympathetic shoulder to cry on."
"Above anything else, he had a strong sense of what was right and wrong…Something I, perhaps, could have learned more from him."
Taka then turned to regard her. Once more, a moment of silence passed between them. Then, Roxy saw something that she had never seen before in her whole life. Taka smiled.
"I think you may be right," he spoke, "I understand now why he said what he said." After a pause, he added one more thing. "Thank you, young one."
Roxy blinked once, then smiled once more. "H-he really was amazing, wasn't he…?" she said, on the verge of tears once more.
"He was…" Taka said sorrowfully.
"I'm gonna miss him forever."
"As will I." Taka then sighed and looked her straight in the eyes. "I must apologize for snapping at you earlier," he said, "I fear that I had let my emotions cloud my mind. I could not see things as they really were. Now I feel as though my brother's honourable death has been sullied by my misguided feelings." He grimaced a little. "Makari, can you ever forgive me…?"
"Oh, of course he'll forgive you. Didn't we just go through this? He loved you!" Roxy said, trying to put on a reassuring smile, "And, well…I forgive you too, Taka. It's fine. You weren't yourself. I mean…" Now it was her turn to sigh. "Losing a brother can't be easy."
He continued looking into her eyes, seeming lost in thought for a moment. Then, he said, "Losing a loved one is not any easier…"
Roxy's eyes widened a bit, and then her lips curled into a sad smile. She wanted to hug Taka, but was afraid that one way or another that would lead to her falling off of the branch.
When things grew silent once more, she asked him a question. "Did Makari really whisper that to you…?"
"He did."
"That's…I can't even believe it. To know he really did care about me that much…"
Taka simply nodded.
"Is that…why you caught me? When I fell?"
He gave her a sidelong glance with an arched eyebrow. "Of course not," he replied, "You were falling and you were going to hurt yourself. I do not want to see you, nor anyone in this tribe for that matter, getting hurt."
"Oh…" Roxy said, feeling just a hint of disappointment.
A moment of awkward silence passed, with Taka once more gazing out at the sunset. The sun had almost completely disappeared from view, and the world around them was starting to get dim.
"Taka…?" she spoke in a quiet, timid voice, "Does this mean we can be…friends now?"
After more uncomfortable silence, Taka answered her. "No."
She grimaced a twinge. "Really…?"
"Do not take it the wrong way," he continued, "I used to dislike you."
"Y…You mean you don't now?"
"I have realized that I have not been treating you fairly. Not in the days before Makari was lost, nor in the days afterwards. You are very different from me, and that is something I simply must accept. That said, though, your words tonight have been…helpful. I am finding it…" The tiniest of trembles passed over him. "…difficult to come to terms with his death…but getting angry at you will not make anything better."
Roxy smiled softly and reached over to pat him on the shoulder. "It's okay, Taka…I know this is hard for both of us."
"Do not touch me."
"Sorry."
Yet another moment of awkward silence, and then Taka cleared his throat. "I will return to the village later tonight. You should get back before it gets too dark."
Roxy glanced around at the fading light and nodded. "I just have one more question, though." When Taka turned to look at her, she asked, "Was that you…looking in through the door of Makari's hut a few nights ago?"
Taka sighed and nodded. "I…wanted to spend some time alone in my brother's hut, hoping to calm myself with a feeling of familiarity with something that was connected to him. I…did not expect to see you there."
"Oh…Sorry. The wise ones gave me his hut to stay in."
"This was distressing to me at first, but I realize there is no reason for me to have any qualm over this." He turned to look at her once more. "While I may not understand it, you two were in love…and besides, I think you need it more than I do."
Roxy spent a moment just looking at him. She was starting to see more than just anger and irritation in his eyes, like she had always seen before. She had always known that Taka was more than just a stuck-up sourpuss, and it was refreshing to finally see that.
"Thanks, Taka," she said, "And thanks for…understanding."
He nodded in response, and she stood up on her paws. "I'm gonna go now," she announced. Roxy then began to carefully make her way back down the tree. She took care to plan out every jump from branch to branch, and kept her paws gripped tight on both the branches and the trunk.
"Hey!" Taka called down to her when she was about eight branches down from him.
She paused and glanced back up, luckily still having a clear view of him. "Yeah?"
"It is the middle of winter now. Are you warm enough at night?"
"Uhh…" Roxy muttered, not expecting the question. "Sorta. I guess…" she then replied.
"I will find you another blanket," he stated.
For a moment, Roxy just stood there unsure of how to respond. Then, she smiled warmly. Taka had been a closed book since she had met him. A mere bud of a flower lacking any hue at all. Now, though, perhaps she was starting to see his colours after all. It had been eluding her for quite a while, but perhaps there was a tiny silver lining to be found.
"Hey, Taka?" she called back up.
"Mm?"
"You never answered one of my questions."
Taka looked down at her with an impassive look, and then turned once more back towards the sunset. He was silent for quite a bit of time, and Roxy was just about to give up and keep climbing down the tree when he finally uttered a response.
"His name was Izuki…"
Roxy simply gazed up and nodded in comprehension. That was all that needed to be said after all. With that, she turned around and jumped down one more branch.
"Take care not to fall," Taka's voice floated down to her, "I will not be able to catch you if you are that far down."
Roxy paused, turned, and gave him a sidelong glance. A little smirk appeared on her face and she shook her head. As the last rays of the sun vanished, Roxy safely made her way back to the base of the tree and made her way back to Makari's hut.