Author's Note

Things I should've have mentioned before: One of the things I've realized about GW is that despite taking place in the future it was really a show about the 90's (and the 1790's). It was a reflection of the era in which it was made, which seems like a rather obvious thing to say, considering that all art is a reflection of the era in which it is made in one way or another. What I mean specifically is the material and industrial design. The telephones and computers they used, the design of the inside of mobile suit cockpits, the design of tanks and fighter jets, all were quintessentially 90's. If any of you are familiar with Gundam 00, compare the cockpit design of the 00 to the Wing Zero, big difference. I've updated the feel of this story to the 2010's, phones, technology, clothing, and so on, are more a reflection of now than they are a continuation of the 90's aesthetic, despite this story taking place only 2 years after the events of Endless Waltz.

On a similar but separate note, I've changed the way the characters speak. The English dub did the best it could, but matching English dialogue with the Japanese mouth movement animations proved to be awkward to say the least. They now speak American now instead of the weird Japanese/English hybrid dialectic of the show. Despite the change in dialectic, I've tried to maintain as much of the mannerisms and idiosyncrasies of the original characters as possible. It's a tough thing to balance. I know that very few of the characters are actually American but a story is not only a reflection of the times in which it is created but also the author. :P

Acclimating

It was late. Far too late for her to be still awake. But without Pagan or Cindy to tell her to turn out the lights and go to bed, she soldiered on, unencumbered by heavy eyelids, and undeterred by constant yawns. She sat in her pajamas, dutifully working as the blue moonlight poured in through windows and danced with the yellow of her desk lamp. If it was beautiful and ethereal and the kind of thing you only get to see, literally, once in a blue moon, she was far too occupied with the stacks of paperwork, piles of textbooks, and digital documents on her desk to notice.

She had finished her readings hours ago. As much as she enjoyed her courses, it had taken a few hours longer than she expected. Hence why she still awake at this ungodly hour. She was replying to emails that she had received during the day. She was trying to read the sections of reports that Cindy had highlighted and summarized. Relena was usually quite astute about keeping up with emails as they came in but having to jump from lecture hall to lecture hall and made it difficult respond in real time.

Cindy, despite all of her efforts wasn't much of a help either. Perhaps, it was because they were very similar when it came to their attitude towards work. Cindy was an overachiever as well, probably why Relena hired her. When Relena asked for her to highlight the key points and write a brief summary, what Relena needed was for her to condense the information so that it was humanly possible for her to go through it and have a firm grasp of what was in the report, without having to read it herself. But Cindy, thinking she was being thorough, highlighted nearly half the report and wrote summaries that were on average ten to twelve pages. While that was still significantly shorter than the actual reports, Relena couldn't help but think Cindy fundamentally missed the point of her assignment.

But despite all of this. Despite her new hectic schedule, and all of the additional schoolwork piled on top of her real work, she was happy. This was her life now, and for the most part, she felt fulfilled. She had worked tirelessly and fruitlessly for so long, it was a pleasant change to see dreams come to fruition. Besides, she liked the night anyway.

A girl.

A flower.

A puppy.

An OZ mobile suit manufacturing facility.

360 C4 plastic explosives.

A Leo Early Type.

...

Flames.

Heero woke up in a cold sweat, panting heavily despite his best efforts to control his breathing. His vision was blurry and his hands shook uncontrollably. He clenched his bed sheets with an iron grip. For a brief few moments his body seized up completely as waves of excruciating pain permeated throughout his body, straining his muscles from his neck all the way down to his toes. When it finally released him, he collapsed back onto his bed, breathless and delirious.

As his vision cleared up, he turned his head slightly to look at his alarm clock. 3:45 a.m. It was still far from morning but somehow he already knew that. This was not the first night he had had that dream. But it had been a long time.

Perhaps, it was because he hadn't taken a single one of his sleeping pills since he had arrived in Vustgaarde or perhaps this place, the Sanc Kingdom, reminded his body of desperate battles and endless cruelties past. Memories and emotions of the war that he thought he had put away for good came flooding back. But he wasn't surprised. Frustrated, absolutely. But not surprised. Not after seeing her and talking to her for the first time in over a year.

Why was she so forgiving? Why was she so eager to just pick up where they had left off? Did she not remember? Did she not remember what he had done? What he had threatened? Who he was?

Whoever she thought he was, she was mistaken. Contrary to the speeches she had been giving all across the Earth and in the Colonies, the ending of the war didn't change what he did. His sins were his own. They still were.

Heero got up from his bed and made his way across his little open concept apartment to his fridge. He pulled out a cold beer. Popping off the cap with his knuckle, he made his way over to his window. He cracked it open and sat on the window sill as he took a sip. It was cold. But that's exactly what he needed.

There were a few drunk people walking down the streets, being loud and obnoxious, and in the distance was the sound of sirens and cars driving along the main boulevards. But despite the occasional ruckus, Vustgaarde was a town that quieted down in the darkness of night. What little noise was left would accompany him for the remaining hours until the sun came up again.

Vustgaarde University, Sanc Kingdom

Fifth day of classes

"Now this may seem counterintuitive," Professor Scharenberg said as he paced around the stage. "Chariots have two horses! Twice the charging power, twice the speed, and acts as a far more stable platform for launching ranged attacks."

It was the third lecture of History and Conflict and already attendance was starting to drop. No doubt, some people merely registered to get a glimpse of the princess then promptly dropped the course once their curiosity had been satisfied. Others may not have had the foresight to drop the class and simply stopped attending. Others, like years before, were perhaps merely bored but required the credit for their major.

Despite all this, there were still well over 200 students in the lecture on that day. Relena and her friends were among them.

"History is a series of narratives," Professor Scharenberg continued. "It's in the name. His-story. And the thing about narratives is that we implicitly leave out details to suit our own. For the past one and a half lectures, we've talked about the rise of the horse, its strengths, its advantages, and how we stuffy academics think may have changed the history of civilization…"

Relena listened intently and took notes as Professor Scharenberg lectured on the development and uses of cavalry in ancient warfare. It was fascinating on a historical level but repulsive as a lover and owner of horses herself to see them used as beasts of war. But she supposed that if it weren't for the cavalrymen of the old world, she would not have Diamond, her beautiful black Oldenburg.

She took a moment to yawn and stretch her arms. And for the first time in forty minutes, she noticed her surroundings. Her friends had utterly zoned out and were now just texting each other and giggling as quietly as they could manage. She merely rolled her eyes and returned her focus back to the lecture slides and Professor Scharenberg.

"...in contrast, the mounted cavalrymen can ride in rougher terrain and if skilled enough, even into wooded areas, later on in this course we'll look at the Turkish Akıncı and their famed ambushes…" Professor Scharenberg went on with great enthusiasm despite the general languor of his pupils.

Relena turned around to see if she could find Heero. She spotted him a few rows up, staring intently at the professor with his arms folded across his chest. She thought about their last conversation. Despite his general evasiveness, he was polite and receptive, if still a little sparse with his words. She supposed that any progress was still progress. She worried about him. He did not seem like himself. But he knew that already and had admitted as much during their last conversation. But perhaps this was a good thing. She had really ever known Heero when he was a soldier, a warrior. Perhaps, now that it was all over, she could get to know the man beneath the armour.

After the lecture had ended, Heero, somewhat predictably disappeared before Relena had a chance to catch him. She tried not to make a big deal out of it and told herself that he probably had another class to catch. She accepted her friends' invitation to lunch and went along with them to the Dining Hall.

It was Matilda that noticed as they crossed the quad, that Relena had fallen behind a few paces. It seemed as though her mind was elsewhere. Matilda deliberately slowed down as well, subtly at first, hoping to evade the suspicion of the others.

"Hey, Relena, what'cha thinking about?" Matilda said in an upbeat but understated voice.

"Oh hi!" Relena said startled. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was lagging behind."

"Relax," Matilda said as she put her hand on Relena's shoulder. "No teasing today. I promise. I know we give you a hard time about being a princess and a diplomat. You're a really good sport, you know that? I hope you know that it is all in good fun, we don't mean any of it, right?"

"I know," Relena replied with a warm smile. "Honestly, it is a refreshing change of pace from all of the bowing and scraping of the politicians I usually deal with."

"So, what's got you all distracted today?" Matilda asked.

"Today? You mean as opposed to yesterday and the day before?" Relena asked affecting a jovial tone, a deflection. "I thought you weren't going to tease me today."

"No, I mean, really, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just thinking about the lecture… and work… and…" Anything but his name.

"Alright," Matilda replied with a knowing tone.

"What?"

"Nothing, if you say you're okay. Then... I believe you."

They walked together in silence for several moments. Matilda waiting patiently, knowing full well that Relena would crack in a matter of moments.

"Alright fine," Relena relented. "I suppose you know already anyway."

"There it is."

"Can I ask you about your brother?"

"What about him?"

"Does he seem alright to you?" Relena asked, trying to not sound overly concerned.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, is he still… Quatre?"

"As far as I can tell."

"I mean, is he different? Withdrawn? Maybe a little cold?"

Matilda stopped and gently grabbed Relena by the hand. Relena turned to the look at the girl with the gentle eyes. She shared them with her brother.

"He's going to be fine, Relena," Matilda said in a comforting voice.

"I wish I had your confidence."

"From what my brother has told me, Heero is strong, he can get through anything."

"Anything but peace," Relena whispered as she looked down in shame. "I may have destroyed his natural habitat."

"Don't say that, Relena! He fought for this, he for you and the world you envisioned," Matilda responded with urgency. "And he'd do it again. Don't ever question what you've done. You saved us all."

"But I can't save him."

"They were trained to be alone, taught that they would die one day, in no uncertain terms that they would die fighting. You can't blame them for having a hard time adjusting. They'll need longer than the rest of us."

"How did Quatre deal with it?"

"Honestly?" Matilda said with a big sigh. "He was fine at first, jubilant even, like everyone else in the days immediately following the Battle of Brussels. But as the months drew on, he became erratic and sometimes burst into fits of violence. But Quatre had always been considerate and reasonable. He recognized the problem immediately. He started to see a therapist."

"Has it helped?" Relena asked.

"I think so," Matilda answered. "I mean, I think it would be naïve of me to say that the war will ever completely leave him but he's getting better."

"I don't think Heero is the type to see a shrink."

"Maybe not," Matilda replied. "But he's going to have to talk about it, to someone, eventually."

Relena closed her eyes and pushed back the tears. She looked around. She scanned her surroundings, the university buildings, the people walking to and from classes, the perfectly manicured lawns, and the blue sky above. This idyllic paradise was what she had always dreamed of, a place without fear, a place without pain. And yet, it must've been hell for him.

"Give him time," Matilda said earnestly. "He'll come around."

"I haven't seen him in over a year and he shows up out of the blue, acting like everything's fine, even though I know it's not. I'm just worried about him."

"I know, Relena."

Brussels, Belgium

A few hours later

Brussels was a government town. It always has been. It has been the center of power, in one form or another, since the days of that ancient political entity known as the European Union, a precursor to the modern Earth Sphere Unified Nation in many ways. Its function as the capital of the Nation was then, not so much a result of an intentional political decision, but rather an inertial transfer of power from one era to the next. In Brussels was located the Earth Sphere Unified Nation Supreme Assembly, known as Parliament, the Court of Justice, the Valknut, Headquarters of the Preventers organization, the Presidential Palace, still under reconstruction, as well as many cultural touchstones such as the Museum of Fine Arts, Ancienne Belique, La Grand-Place, and the Cathedral of St. Michael and St. Gudula, among others. Nearly three-quarters of its residents worked for the world government directly or indirectly. Nearly every representative, even those from the farthest reaches of space, who only came to Earth once every few years, had at least an apartment in the city.

The city was in the middle of a construction boom due to the destruction caused by the Mariemaia Rebellion. The Presidential Palace itself had not yet been completed. There was plenty of work for anyone that wanted it. Possibly too much work. A few of the old aristocratic families, many of whom were former members of the Romefeller Foundation, had been pouring money into the city, buying up properties and starting construction and development companies, hoping to cash in on the post-war boom. Things had been relatively calm for the past year as most people were in no mood for further conflict but as the aristocratic families began pushing the lawmakers to relax restrictions on work visas in hopes of attracting labourers from the Colonies, tensions began to rise once again between the former families of the Romefeller Foundation and the worker's unions.

Heero and Noin sat in a coffee shop just a few blocks away from The Valknut. It was a small place with a only a few tables and no serving staff but the owner herself, an elderly woman who seemed to have back problems. Heero insisted on bringing the coffee and biscuits from the counter to the table himself to spare the old woman the trouble. Heero didn't drink coffee anyway. Noin had chosen the location because of its size and its locale. The side streets of Brussels, away from the main boulevards were generally poorer and government workers rarely ventured through these parts.

"Other than the tactical stuff, how is she?" Noin asked.

"She's fine," Heero answered plainly. "She seems a little busy but other than that, she seems to be holding up well."

"Well, we can't be surprised about that. She knew what she was getting into."

"You don't agree with her choice to attend university?" Heero asked.

"No, on the contrary, I think her attending Vustgaarde is a wonderful idea," Noin replied as she took a sip of her coffee. "But I think she should've taken a break from her job to do it. Being the Vice-Foreign Minister is already more than a full time job. Attending school on top of that seems insane to me. But you know Relena…"

Heero slid the blue dossier across the table to Noin.

"I've included a few extra elements that drew my attention. They could be a cause for concern," Heero said.

Noin opened the dossier and flipped to the back. She took a few moments to read through it.

"The Vustgaarde Anarchist Students Collective? The Home and Heritage Society? Really Heero? A few student radicals and the campus rich kids club?" Noin said with an incredulous grin.

"Both harbour resentments against Relena and her policies," Heero replied.

"There will always be political dissidents on a university campus," Noin said dismissively. "Not even Relena can have the love of every single person in the world."

"It's not just them. But if the tensions here in Brussels start spreading…"

"Leave political analysis to the professionals, Heero. You're overreacting." Noin said as she took another sip of her coffee.

Heero didn't want to push the issue any further. She knew that Noin was probably right and that this was nothing. But in his mind, he couldn't let it slide once he made the connection.

"But hey, other than that. You're doing a good job so far. Your reporting is consistent, precise, and detailed."

"I feel like I'm spying on her," Heero said as he idly looked around at the coffee shop. "I don't like it."

"There's no rule against you talking to her, Heero. You made the choice to stay away from her. Not us. If you want to be friends with her, by all means… I mean really, isn't it about time?"

Relena's townhouse, Vustgaarde

A few hours later

Relena crashed against her door as soon as she was in, using her body weight to slam it shut. She exhaled slowly as her head drooped in quiet resignation. It had been a long day. She had been up way too late the night before, finishing up her school readings, reviewing reports, and preparing for a meeting she had later that day. Her day started with History and Conflict, followed by a quick lunch with friends, then followed by a four hour stretch where she had Calculus and Chemistry one after another. By the time she got home, she was utterly exhausted.

She had a few hours of downtime and decided to run a bubble bath. She knew that she had calculus and chemistry homework to do and these precious few hours should've been devoted to that but she needed to relax. Her body was starting to give out on her. When she started to entertain thoughts of pawning off her school work to Cindy, she knew she needed a break.

Relena began running the bath before she ran into her room to answer a couple quick emails that she knew wouldn't take her longer than a few minutes at most. She then put on her playlist of nature sounds, lit some candles, and turned off the lights in her bathroom before jumping into the tub. She let out an audible moan as the bubbles engulfed her whole body. She needed this. She deserved this.

She fell asleep.

Relena: HELP!

Heero had just gotten back from Brussels and was just about to enter his apartment when he received the text message from Relena. His mind began to reel. Had he been careless? Had he missed something? He had memorized her schedule. She should've been home at that hour. Heero quickly checked the tracker app on his phone. Relena was at home. Or at least her phone was at the moment.

Heero: What's wrong?

He waited for a reply.

Relena: Please! Come to my house right now!

Heero tucked his phone in his back pocket and pulled out his gun from his shoulder holster. He popped out the magazine to check that it was loaded. Of course it was loaded, he checked every morning, and he hadn't fired his gun (any of them) in over a year. Yet he did it anyway. It was just a habit at this point. He rushed downstairs, out of his building, and into the alleyway. He pulled his bike out onto the street, swiftly got on, and started towards Relena's place.

Heero only lived a few blocks away from Relena. That was by design. He needed to be close enough that he could get there within minutes even by running but far away enough to give her room and a sense of independence. And so that Heero and Relena wouldn't accidentally run into each other just walking in the street. He reached her place in less than three minutes. He parked his bike a few houses down and continued up to her place on foot.

Once he had reached her door, he pulled out his gun. He examined the door, no sign of forced entry. But it was unlocked. Did the intruder have a key? Was it one of her friends from school? No, it couldn't be. He had requested their files from local police and the Preventers. They didn't have anything on them. He had even hacked into the university student database, he found nothing unusual about any of them. He slowly made his way through the rooms, clearing them before moving on.

"Relena?" Heero cautiously called out.

"Up here!" A voice came from upstairs.

Heero quickly rushed up the stairs. He quickly checked all of the rooms before finally finding Relena in the bathroom. He charged in, gun raised only to find, Relena, alone, by herself. The poor girl was wrapped in a towel, sitting on top of her toilet, knees to her chest, hair soaking wet, sobbing quietly into her hands.

Heero relaxed and holstered his gun. There was a time in his life when this kind of false alarm would have angered him to no end. But seeing her like that, so helpless and vulnerable, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl. He slowly made his way across the bathroom, boots displacing the water on the bathroom floor as he went until he had reached her. She slowly looked up with an adorably pathetic expression and tears in her eyes. He tried to offer her a comforting smile as he held out his hand for her.

After a moment, she took it and stood up.

"I'm an idiot," she said despondently. "I'm a complete and utter idiot. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm completely useless without others here to help me. I can't even make a bubble bath right. And I have a meeting with a representative of the mining conglomerate and the president of L3 in fifteen minutes, which I'm totally going to miss. I haven't miss a meeting, ever! What have I gotten myself into…"

Relena's head fell into her hands. Her towel came undone just as Heero reached out to catch it.

"You think I'm a fool don't you?" Relena asked. "You think I am naïve. That I bit off more than I can chew—"

"Relena," Heero said forcefully. "Just tell me what happened."

"I… I fell asleep…"

Heero almost laughed. "Alright, go get dressed, take your meeting, I'll take care of this."

Relena was stunned by his frankness. She expected a little judgement from him. He had never pulled punches when it came to her before.

"Thank you, Heero."

Heero watched her as she ran off into her room. For some reason it made him happy. Perhaps, it was because he hadn't seen this side of Relena in a long time. Perhaps, he was just glad that the war hadn't robbed her of her youth, that despite everything that had happened to her, she was still Relena, still unbreakable.

"Well, this was less than my bosses were hoping for, but truthfully, I think they can learn to live with it," the representative of the mining conglomerate said as he pushed his glasses up with his index finger.

"What about you, Mr. President? Any final thoughts?" Relena asked commandingly.

"You and Mr. Hatoshi have been more than fair," the president of L3 remarked. "I'll present the new proposal to the legislature but I can say that this matter has been resolved. Thank you Vice-Foreign Minister once again for your time and effort."

"I would say that it is no problem, but as you can see, my appearance tells a different story," Relena said with a chuckle.

"I, for one, like the new look," the representative said.

"Well get used to it, because I have a feeling you're gonna see me like this a lot," Relena said as she did a graceful flip of her still damp hair.

"We wish you the best of luck with school, Vice-Foreign Minister Darlian," the president of L3 said.

"Thank you."

After both parties had signed off, Relena closed her laptop and leaned back on her couch with a big sigh. She lay there still, for a few moments before she realized that Heero had been watching her from the other side of the room. He seemed in a remarkably upbeat disposition despite having just cleaned up her bathroom. He took a couple steps closer.

"You're impressive."

"Why, because I can negotiate with wet hair?" Relena asked sarcastically as she stood up.

"Because no matter what circumstance you find yourself in, you always get the job done," Heero replied.

"Guess who I learned that from?"

Heero could only observe as she approached him. Still glowing with the residual confidence from diplomat mode. She wore only a lavender blouse and a pair of of hot pink lace panties. He was pretty sure that she had noticed that he had taken notice. Perhaps, that was by design. It was working. He had never seen her like this. Halfway between human and angel, diplomat and university student, the girl of his dreams; utterly unattainable. She stared at him intensely as she ruffled her hair. God, she was beautiful.

"I, uhh, I finished cleaning up your bathroom," Heero said as he nervously fidgeted with his hands. "And I cooked you dinner and made you a lunch for tomorrow."

"Ooh, you didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem. I saw that your fridge was full of groceries and figured that you would be a little too busy to cook for yourself."

"That's very kind of you," Relena said softly as the diplomat faded from her voice.

"Really, it's nothing."

"Would you like to join me? For dinner?"

He wanted to. He really wanted to. Against his personal promises that he made to himself before accepting the job, against every instinct in his body, he wanted to. But what did she expect of him? What did this invitation mean? He searched her eyes for an answer.

And found one.

No, that can't be right. He was just imagining it. She couldn't actually want him. She was confused. As was he. Residual feelings leftover from the war. Nothing more.

"I can't. I've a few things to do, a few chapters to read before tomorrow," Heero declined as politely as he could.

"Oh, alright," Relena answered with a high pitched voice, feebly trying to mask her disappointment.

"But hey, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

She watched as he walked out the door. It hurt her more than anything to just let him go like that. She had let him go so many times before. But those times were different. They were in grave danger or something else, something greater than the two of them was at stake. They sacrificed because they had to. This, this just seemed pointless. She had so much to say to him, so much she had held back for so long. But in the end, she knew that she had to let him go. He needed time. And she had to be patient.