Author's Note: This is effectively a bottle episode. I felt that these scenes deserved their own dedicated chapter without interruption.

Who are we to each other?

The constant rumble of the vehicle came to a stop leaving Relena feeling rather lightheaded. A certain serenity came over her after dismounting the motorcycle and putting her feet onto solid ground. After an hour of clutching Heero's waist and bracing the harsh wind of the Northern European autumn, she was glad to be still. She had never ridden on a motorcycle before that moment and she had to admit, despite the cold and the whirlwind of emotion that preceded it, it was rather fun.

It was the dead of night when they arrived at the service station. Relena's phone had died and Heero needed to refuel his motorcycle. It was the perfect time for them to take a break. They had spent the better part of an hour, weaving through the side streets and back alleys of Vustgaarde until they came out into the countryside where they finally lost their pursuers.

Relena put her heels back on. She had been carrying them in her hands since before they left Winner House. Suddenly she felt very uncomfortable about what she was wearing. It all seem fine and good when they were at the party where everyone had been more or less dressed in a similar fashion. There, she had even discovered a new found confidence due in large part to all of the compliments she had received from her peers. But now, in the middle of nowhere, in a rural service stop, she suddenly felt like a prostitute. Beyond that, as the adrenaline of the chase receded from her veins, she began to feel rather cold.

"Go inside," Heero said. "Order some food."

"What about you?" Relena asked with a slight tremble in her voice.

"I'm not going to leave you out here in the middle of nowhere dressed like that," Heero replied.

"But if I were dressed a little more modestly, you'd ditch me in a second," Relena said playfully.

"Go," Heero said stoically.

She made her way towards the service station diner, trying to pull her skirt down as much as possible. Relena couldn't decide which was worse, being recognized as the Vice-Foreign Minister or just being mistaken for being any other girl out having too much fun on a friday night. She wished Heero would hurry up and just come join her in the diner lest she attract any unwanted attention.

There were only a few people inside which made sense considering how late it was and how out of the way they were from civilization. Relena was greeted by a kind waitress, who somehow immediately made her. She led Relena over to the corner booth and brought over a couple of menus. Relena tucked herself into faux red leather seats of the booth.

"Take your time," the waitress said. "It's on the house. And if any of these guys give you any trouble, just call me, okay?"

"Thank you so much," Relena said with a sigh of relief. "I didn't think anyone would recognize me."

"Oh honey, you're all over the news right now," the waitress said as she pulled out her phone to show Relena.

Vice-Foreign Minister rides off into the night with mystery man. Flick. Relena Peacecraft jumps onto a motorcycle with handsome stranger. Flick. Who is Relena's getaway driver?

Relena handed the phone back to the waitress. This was not how she wanted this night to turn out. How did it just spiral out of control so suddenly? And what would Heero think now that the media was interested in him. He had always been secretive. Stubbornly secretive. He freaked out the first moment they met, when he had realized that she had seen his face. That was a different time; another world. Still, would he be furious?

She forced herself to smile politely. "Thank you for telling me."

"Don't worry it about it, hun," the waitress winked at Relena. "Your secret is safe with me."

Just then Heero came into the diner and brushed past the waitress.

"He's cute," the waitress said as she flashed a nod of approval back at Relena, before walking away.

Heero sat down on the opposite side of the booth. Relena looked down at her menu, trying to conceal her smile and her sudden blush. She had to admit, even if it was only to herself, that she somewhat enjoyed the sudden turn of events. He thought he was so smooth, confessing his love, kissing her for the first time, then riding off into the night. And now, here they were, sitting in a diner in the middle of nowhere, in the dead of night, looking over a menu as if they on a date. Karma was on Relena's side tonight.

"So, what are you going to get?" Relena asked casually, not looking up from her menu.

"The breakfast platter," Hero answered plainly.

Relena kept staring at her menu hoping to hide her uncontrollable grin from him. On some level she had to know that at the end of the day, Heero was like anyone else. He had to eat. He must've have preferences. It was just the actual expression of the mundanities of everyday life such as the ordering of food that was irresistibly cute to her. He had always been a soldier in her eyes, an impossible warrior from the stars. Sometimes she forgot that he was actually human.

"Oh, they have a banana split!" Relena said with delight.

"Order some coffee," Heero said.

"Okay… " Relena replied awkwardly.

The waitress came back a few minutes later and both Heero and Relena placed their orders; breakfast platter, banana split, and two coffees, one black, the other with one sugar and one cream. The waitress took their menus, smiled again at Relena before taking off into the back. They sat silently for a few moments, neither of them making eye contact. Heero was feeling quite uncomfortable although in his usual stoic manner, he showed none of it. Relena rocked back and forth in her seat ever so slightly, contemplating the intimate situation they were in and thinking of ways to broach the obvious subject.

"So…" Relena began. "Are we going to talk about this?"

"What?" Heero asked, still trying to avoid eye contact.

"You kissed me, Heero," Relena said. "And you told me you loved me."

Heero merely just looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers. His expression revealed nothing, which was no doubt his intention.

"Don't you have anything to say?" Relena asked.

"I already said everything I had to say," Heero replied.

"Right, you're okay with just leaving it at that," Relena said with an incredulous shrug. "Your plan was just going to tell me that you loved me and leave me standing there. What the fuck, Heero?!"

"It doesn't change anything."

"What do you mean?! Am I supposed to just ignore what you said?" Relena asked.

"Honestly, yes," Heero said plainly. "I didn't tell you because I wanted anything from you. I just didn't want you to think that I didn't care."

"So you do care…" Relena said incredulously.

"Everything I've ever done, was for your sake."

"I don't understand you Heero."

"Just know that I don't want anything in return," Heero said. "I told you that I love you, that doesn't mean I'm asking for you to love me in return."

"Right, because you think I would be better off without you," Relena said, repeating his sentiments back to him with a hint of sarcasm.

"You don't want a war criminal to share you life with."

"That's not what you are…" Relena said, her voice softening.

"Relena…" Heero began. "I know you mean well. And I could spend the rest of the night telling you about your great qualities. One of them is that you see the best in people. You don't see people for who they are, you see them for what they can be. Their best selves. But you're wrong about me. Ever since that day on the beach. Your eyes said it all. You should've been afraid, you should've been terrified. But you weren't. And I don't… I don't want you to find out the hard way. I'd rather you remember me as you did after the war, not the man I am, not the man I'm becoming."

Relena reached across the table and took his hand into hers. He didn't resist but he didn't look at her either. He was too ashamed. His hands were surprisingly soft, although she could feel the scars upon his skin. She understood his reluctance to open up to her. In her experience, all of the Gundam pilots were rather guarded, Heero most of all. But she felt like she couldn't give up on him, not now, not after they have just come so close to confronting what had been left unsaid for so many years.

A few moments later, the waitress came back. The clammed up once again as the waitress placed the bacon, eggs, and toast in front of Heero, and slid the banana split towards Relena. Relena forced a smile and told the waitress thank you as she left them to their conversation once again.

"Heero, I wish you'd tell me what's going on with you," Relena said softly. "I understand that… peace has been an adjustment for you. I do—"

"Don't say things like that Relena," Heero said. "Because you don't. And really… you shouldn't have to. You have bigger concerns."

"Why do you think that?" Relena asked. "What makes you think that you're so much less than important than everyone else."

"It's the way it has always been," Heero said. "I shouldn't be telling you any of this…"

"Please do," Relena said.

"Relena," Heero said with a slight tremble in his voice. "We were trained to fight, we were trained to kill… But we were also trained to value of human life and to see the dignity in all people, so that we would never forget what we were fighting for. So that we would never be led astray by the romance of militarism, or the charisma of dictators and strongmen… And all this was drilled in our heads as children…"

"Heero…" Relena's voice broke.

He had never spoken so frankly about anything before, least of all himself and his past. On some level Relena had always known that Heero's past must've been tragic. You don't become a Gundam Pilot by living an ordinary life. But hearing those words broke her heart.

"You can't reconcile those two ideas in your head simultaneously, not as a child," Heero said. "But there was a way to get us to understand. We were the moral excrement in the system, we took on the filth and the sin of battle upon ourselves so that the rest of the colonists wouldn't have to. So that the colonies would need no army, no insurrection, and therefore no blame, to be free of the oppression of the Alliance. That was us…"

"Heero, that's horrifying," Relena whimpered.

Relena released his hand. He retracted it and tucked it away underneath the table. He looked away with a grimace. Relena hadn't seen that expression before from him. It was an expression of guilt or shame. She had no idea that had was struggling so deeply. It had been two years since Mariemaia's rebellion but it seemed like for Heero, it had never really ended.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you all of that," Heero said. "I don't want to upset you."

"No Heero, I'm so glad you told me," Relena replied. "I had no idea you felt this way."

"It's not a big deal. You find ways to deal with it."

"It is a big deal to me."

They ate their food in relative silence, though the initial joy of Relena's midnight dessert faded due to the direction the conversation took. She barely touched her banana split. Heero made an effort to ignore the atmosphere of sorrow the two of them had generated through their conversation, although he was clearly feeling it. He did what he always did in those situations. He thought about goals, immediate tasks, and how to achieve them; the things that gave him a sense of control.

He needed to get Relena to a safe place for the night. Vustgaarde was not a particularly large city and there were an inordinate amount of out of town media stalking the streets, combing every inch looking for them. There would be a lot of riding left tonight, he needed the energy, hence his rapid eating.

"Drink the coffee," Heero said as he took a sip of his. "I need you awake."

Relena picked up her coffee and took a sip, reluctantly. She didn't want him to retreat into himself like he always did but she found herself suddenly at a loss for words.

"So you never think about us?" Relena asked once again.

"Relena…" Heero said.

"No, I'm serious," Relena pushed. "You've just never thought about what it would be like? Not ever?"

"I would never dream of burdening you with the fucked up shit in my head," Heero answered.

"I hate that you think of yourself as a burden…" Relena said.

"Relena," Heero said softly. "I have so much to atone for. I am not your responsibility."

"Don't I get a say in the matter?" Relena asked.

"No… You have so much to offer to the world, you have so much to look forward to in life," Heero said. "You're going to find someone great, someone you'll want to share your life with, someone you'll be proud to call your husband..."

"And you?" Relena whispered, almost afraid of what his answer might be.

"I'll figure it," Heero said with a hint of a melancholy smile. Like the smile he gave her before he left to do battle with her brother three years ago.

They both fell into a silence for a few moments. Heero took a sip of his coffee and looked outside into the darkness. Relena just stared at him, trying desperately to digest Hero's casual nihilism. She had always known there was something that Heero had kept hidden from her all these years, even during the war but hearing him say it for the first time was more than she could handle.

Relena thanked the kind waitress again before she and Heero left. They got back onto the motorcycle together silently. Somehow the prospect of holding Heero closely took on a new weight. Gone were the feeling of butterflies. A general sorrow pervaded their ever unspoken interaction. Was this what Heero was talking about? Was this the burden of the knowledge of what he was, what Doctor J had raised him to be? Was this how Heero lived each and every day? Relena wondered.

The ride down the winding country roads was bumpy but not unbearable. At that point in the night, Relena just wanted for the whole thing for it to be over. She felt so unbearably sad. Heero could feel it too and it made him regret his moment of weakness. He shouldn't have told her those things. He shouldn't have told her he loved her. He should've kept it to himself. He could've told the people in group if he really needed to vent but not her. She didn't deserve it. She shouldn't have to be burdened with his sins.

After a while, despite the coffee, Heero could feel that Relena had fall asleep on his back. He was careful to make sure that she didn't fall off. It was all for the best he figured. It had been a long and exhausting night for the poor girl. Heero could feel her breathing and the warmth of her body on his back and he secretly relished the physical intimacy. An hour and a half later, the motorcycle had come to a stop and the sudden death of the engine woke her.

Heero helped her off of the bike while she was coming to her senses.

"Where are we?" Relena asked as she looked around for a moment.

"Peacecraft Palace," Heero answered.

"Why did you take me here?" Relena asked as the blurriness from her vision faded.

She looked around once again, this time recognizing her surroundings. She hadn't been home in months. Quatre's crew had done quite a bit of work and the exterior nearly complete.

"Vustgaarde is still crawling with paparazzi looking for you," Heero said. "I couldn't get you back into your townhouse."

"If you don't want anything from me, why do you care so much?" Relena asked, trying one last time.

"Isn't it obvious?" Heero asked.

"Are you my bodyguard?" Relena asked.

Heero merely nodded.

Relena closed her eyes and forced back her tears. She suddenly felt angry. Angry at Noin for explicitly disobeying her orders. Angry at Heero for not telling her earlier. Angry at how the night had turned out. She felt cheated, cheated out of an ending to their story.

"So is that it?" Relena asked, trying to suppress her frustration. "Is that all we are?"

"I'm sorry to have disappointed you," Heero said. "You know that was never my intent."

They stood staring at each other silently for a few moments more, neither one of them wanting to let the other go quite yet. Heero just wanted to hold onto the moment of human intimacy that he felt had had stolen from her just a while longer. For Relena, she just didn't want things to end like this. Was this them? Bodyguard and charge? Knight and princess?

Doesn't the knight get the princess in the end?

"Wait," Relena said as just as Heero turned out to walk away.

What was she thinking? She was the most powerful woman in the world. So why was she acting so weak?

Why the fuck would I just let this slip away?

Had the war taught her nothing?

She walked towards him with a renewed determination. Relena locked eyes with him.. As the gravity of her eyes drew him inexplicably near, he only turn to face her again. She placed her hand on his cheek, committing to memory the warmth of his skin and the weight of his burden. She didn't want him to carry it alone anymore. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that had he saved the world for her time and again only for him to be left with nothing return. It may have been all that he expected but that's not what he was going to get.

"Stay," Relena whispered.

"I can't…" Heero said. "It wouldn't be appropriate—"

"I don't care."

"Relena… I could never be the man that you deser—"

"I don't care."

"I don't know what you want from me…"

"You think I'm just going to let you leave after everything you told me tonight?" Relena asked. "You think I'm that weak? I was there for your war, Heero Yuy. I watched the whole thing. I saw you save millions. I saw you sacrifice everything. You don't have to anymore. I won't let you."

"Relena, I can't stay…" Heero said, pleading with her desperately.

"You're my bodyguard aren't you?" Relena asked.

Heero knew where this was going.

"I order you to stay…"

Relena took him by the hand and led him up the great staircase that led to the entrance of the house. She opened the door and pulled him inside before closing it.