I got a C on the stupid paper for music history. That's bothering me more than it should. All day, though, things have just been bad: my favorite sandals broke, Treble and I weren't thinking as a team and got lost a lot, and Mother Nature's monthly surprise happened. I never can predict that, and I also can't predict how much pain I'll be in until the pain's here. I was not awake enough to think ahead before my 8 AM class, so I didn't eat or grab a pain pill.
I got through classes, but midmorning after I got some food, I decided walking the 15 minutes to get home was too much to ask. I'd told Erik I'd be staying to practice anyway, so I thought I'd just lay on a bench in the hallway until the pain went away. It probably looked a little pathetic, but I didn't care, because dang it I was going to get through the other appointment I had! Erik could fuss over me once I got home, after all my crap was complete.
One good thing was that Erik had gotten a little better as far as posessiveness goes. He was trusting me again, and gradually he had become a sort of cute kind of clingy. He would back off immediately when I told him it was too much, and the bumps in the road were getting smaller. I wondered what he would say when I got home, though. How crappy did I look?
My accompanist met me so we could practice, but I told her there was no way I was singing if I couldn't walk. "Can I use you for your car instead of your piano-playing?" I asked, trying to make a joke out of the situation. "I can't walk home."
"I have an advising appointment but it's not till twelve, so yeah, I think I could do that. I wish I had something to give you for the pain. You have stuff at home, right?"
"Yeah," I said, thinking of bananas. (They seriously work, even on the monster cramps, as long as you can stomach one.)
I texted Erik that I was coming home and that we would reschedule practice, and then my phone rang.
"Hi, Erik."
"Are you all right? Why are you whispering?" Weird greeting.
"I'm fine. Just lady pains. Friend's giving me a ride home."
"Are you sure? If you're in as much pain as you sound, you shouldn't be moving at all, I think. You shouldn't even be standing, let alone walking."
How the crap does he know what I'm going through? I mean, he was very sweet, but I was feeling stubborn and moody, so I couldn't register that. "I have to get home to sleep, Erik. Jessie's got me."
"No ... Nadir and I will come get you."
"And carry me home?" I mean, how would I get home without a car?
"We have a car for situations such as this." (Uh, why wasn't I aware of that?) "But if we didn't have one, I would carry you all the way home." And then the car thing didn't matter because significant mental effort was needed to not-phangirl.
"How are you so adorable?" Oops-didn't mean to say that out loud.
Erik was silent. I told Jessie what Erik had said, and she laughed and said, "Tell him we're good. He doesn't need to do that."
"I really think we're okay, Erik. I have a ride, it's all good."
"How far can you walk?"
"Far enough to get to a car."
"I'm not happy with that answer."
"Well, too bad." I was getting out of breath. "I gotta go. See you when I get home." I hung up. "Erik's a very worried friend," I told Jess.
"Just a friend?" she joked.
Well, I can't say I'm sort of one-sidedly dating a fictional character via contract. "I think so? He's one of those adorable gentleman, you know?"
"Yeah, suuure." Oh dang, was I showing it on my face? I mean, I thought Erik would be the one to initiate the whole beyond-friendship thing, and if I drop hints without knowing it, crap, that's not how I wanted it to go. Jessie's voice yanked me out of my head: "Well, I can pull up to the curb so we don't have to walk more."
"Thank you so much." I hadn't told Erik that walking down a couple of hallways meant taking several rests. I also didn't tell him that I had to wait to stand up the first time. This is what I hate about my body: I don't know the extent of cramp pain until it plateaus, and I wasn't sure if this pain had peaked yet. And we still had a distance to walk, not counting the walk from the apartment complex's parking lot to my door (which wasn't really long at all, but everything''s a stretch when you're in pain.)
No, don't think about the pain, I told myself. Use the Placebo effect ... I'm not in any pain. I can totally walk. My bed's not that far away. I can make it for sure.
Nope, can't do it. Go away, nausea, go away! Sitting hurts. Standing and walking hurts more and less at the same time. What is comfort? I know not of comfort right now. Screw you, Mother Nature.
I leaned against the wall in the space between the two sets of double-doors out to the parking lot. I knew that it might help if I stretched, but it still hurt at first. Jessie went out to get the car, but came back in sooner than I thought. "Hey. So ..."
"That was quick," I said.
"Um, your friend didn't listen," Jessie said.
"What?"
But then I heard Erik's voice. "I can take things from here, Jessica. Thank you very much for your help and concern." He sounded like he was saying some rehearsed script for customer service. What the crap? But I knew that the CS contract still wanted me to minimize Erik's interactions one-on-one and with small groups, so I backed Erik up and Jessie left. Good, now I could ask Erik about the mysterious car. But maybe Nadir would be better to ask?
"Did Nadir come too?"
"No. Just me. We both can drive." (Of course you can.) "But please tell me why in God's name you thought you could handle this. You look like death, you stupid girl!" Erik sounded both furious and extremely worried.
"Only if you tell me whether or not you caused any accidents speeding your way over, inadvertently or otherwise."
"All American driving and traffic laws were followed. You're not the only one who gets pesky email reminders from the silly character sitting team about keeping a low profile! Now it's your turn. Is this the other side of the independent twenty-first century woman?" (At this point, I knew to just let him finish the monologue.) "Am I to expect this stubbornness and rediculous disregard for your own personal safety as a side effect of your societal upbringing? If I have to monitor my own emotions and actions to protect your own sense of security and peace of mind, is it not fair to ask the same of you in regards to mine?" Erik's tone had gone from sounding frustrated to sounding pleading.
He'd actually just been worried about me but didn't know how to express it. Maybe I really did look as pale as death. And there's the guilt.
"I'm so sorry," I said from the floor where I'd slumped upon hearing his words. "I never know how bad it'll be. If I feel good, I go to class. And I was feeling good this morning. I had already done classes and eaten, and this all hit about 20 minutes ago." I was panting now. Too much talking at once.
"All right." Erik took my stuff to his car first and then came back for me. I started to stand, but he pushed me back down with a firm "No."
I groaned loudly.
"Shhh," he said, sitting down next to me.
"Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you, Lauren," Erik said gently, putting an arm around me. "But you are clearly in no state to walk on your own."
"How else am I gonna get to the car?"
Without a word, Erik picked me up and carried me there, Treble following us.
When we got home, Erik carried me straight to my bed and tucked me in. "Can you drink anything?"
"Maybe a little." I honestly wasn't sure. "Can't eat a banana yet. Where's my Treblemaker?"
"She is in her crate. I'll get you some water. Your school things are on your desk."
Erik took my full waterbottle from my messenger bag andI sipped at it. . When I moaned to myself about how much I wanted mac-n-cheese and hot tea, he left for a few minutes and came back with my meal and some pain medicine. Jeez, Christine sure missed out!
"Did my roommates see you?" I asked.
"No. Trust your Erik, he can avoid detection like that. Besides, this is important."
After I was done eating, I shifted and tried to get comfortable, but I kept changing positions. "Ow!"
"Shhh. Try to sleep, my darling. Your Erik will take care of you. Your Erik will take care of everything. Sleep now."
"Can't. Hurts."
Erik started singing one of my favorite songs from his Ken Hill musical adaptation. "Ne'er forsake me, here remain. Share with me my dark domain."
It worked. I slept for a couple of hours, then ate a banana, and happily read away the afternoon. Erik kept me hydrated and eating healthy (although he didn't get in the way of my chocolate craving, which was smart.) And after I finished my homework, I watched my audio-described Phantom of the opera. ("_Your Erik is sitting right next to you, and you would rather listen to Gerik?" "Meh! Don't judge me, this adaptation has audio description!")