The week leading up to the date, I was a nervous wreck. I tried to keep it to myself, partly because we are all still adjusting to Luke's absence, but also because I didn't want to come across like I needed constant reassurance. So, while I made the executive decision to not tell Clyde and Rani anything...at all. They've been trying to get me to talk, but I've just been deflecting and asking them questions about literally anything else. I did mention to Sarah Jane that I was going to see him on Saturday, only for her to spill that Luke's been gushing to her ever since we decided on the plans.
Anyways, Saturday morning comes, and I am getting excited and extremely nervous. Luke and I have been texting and talking as often as possible, sending good morning texts, asking about each other's days, adding in slightly more flirtatious banter than normal, just trying to get a feel for the potential new dynamic. This morning, I wake up to a really, really cute text from him. Good morning, Asha. I'm really looking forward to seeing you later. I'll meet you at the station. I can't wait! Also, which pronouns do you prefer today? I can feel myself blush as I read the text over a few times. This boy... I respond, telling him that I'm also really excited about this, and I leave the pronouns for a second. It can often take me a few minutes to actually notice what I'm feeling, so I usually get dressed first, then based on how it makes me feel, I can then decipher and explain. I start getting ready, only to falter when it comes to the actual getting dressed part. That's when it all falls apart. I'm not a girl today. But the only outfit I had planned was banking on feeling like a girl. But that's the only one I'm definitely not. I start to panic, only to remember that Rani still exists, and has been a massive help this past year when it comes to presenting myself as more masc/gender neutral without an entirely new wardrobe. I mean, I do have some men's shirts in my shirt collection, but they aren't exactly "first date" material. I dial her number and wait for her to pick up. Ahe does this far quicker than I was expecting, but hey, I'm not complaining! "Asha? What's wrong?" I hear her ask. "Erm...well...you see... I'm having a crisis, and I need your help. Please?" she sighs. "Asha, we all know Luke fancies you-" "No!" I yelp, interrupting her before she finishes her sentence. "I mean...sort of related, but I know that bit. I need help!" I cried out to her. "Hang on, this entire week you've been acting like you were still convinced otherwise, but that's not the crisis?" The scepticism would hurt, had I not totally earned it by being an oblivious mess. "Look, if I promise to explain, will you please come over and help me?" I beg, getting more and more desperate by the second. I can tell I've gotten her attention, seeing as she quits asking questions, tells me she'll be over in a minute, then hangs up the phone.
I open the door and rush her upstairs. Mum's out and William is probably at work, but I can never be sure with him. Anyways, as soon as I have her in my room, she starts questioning me. "Rani, shut up for a second, and I can explain." She quietens down and gestures for me to continue, zipping her lips and sitting on her hands. I roll my eyes at her dramatics before I start explaining. "Right, so obviously, you saw what happened when Luke left-" "Sort of hard to forget." She muttered sarcastically. I glared at her. "Sush. Anyways, later that evening, we talked about it, and we both admitted that we'd had a crush on the other for about a year." She started doing a weird wiggle when I said this. "Wh... what are you...what are you doing?" I asked, absolutely bewildered by my best friend. She grinned at me. "You and Luke. You're both absolute geniuses, but so dense at the same time. Neither of you were subtle about it, but the only people who missed it...were you!" I blushed, knowing that she wasn't wrong, but I still didn't need reminding, again. "Yeah, yeah. Shut up." I smiled softly. "Right, yeah, sorry. Carry on." She said, leaning back casually against the wall from where she sat on my bed, watching me pace as I continued. "Well, he asked me on a date?" She squealed. "That's why you said that you knew he liked you! When's the date?" She's going to murder me. "Um...today? My train leaves in anhourpleasedon'tkillme?!" I blurt out sheepishly. She sits there for a moment in complete silence before she starts shrieking. "Okay, please tell me I miss heard you, because I could have sworn you just said that you're going on your first date in an hour, and I'm only hearing this now!" I cringe as she continues ranting. I let her carry on until my phone buzzes. It's Luke. I try and grab my phone, but Rani gets to it before I do. "Ooooh, Asha. Your boyfriend is asking about your pronouns." Rani says in a sing-song voice she only ever uses to wind me up. "I know! That's my problem!" I exclaimed, grabbing my phone from her hand and resuming pacing. It was like lightning had struck her. "Ash, what are you today?" I sat down next to her. "More he/they than she. But I forgot the this could be a possibility last night, so only prepared a dress, but I can't wear the dress. But I can't exactly just rock up in a hoodie and jeans, it's our first date. My first date, in my life, with the boy I've had a crush on since forever, and I don't know what to wear!" I broke down, trying so hard to not cry or have a panic attack, that I didn't notice Rani get up and start picking out clothes until she asked for my opinion.
She eventually wrestled me into a plain black t-shirt with my blue checkered flannel, my nice jeans, and my red converse. I tried arguing that I just looked like I normally did, and not like I was putting in any effort, but Rani just gave me a judgmental look. "Ash, you're going on a date with Luke. That boy is so gone on you, I'm surprised he hasn't asked you to be his partner officially. He's not going to care what you're wearing! He thinks you're one of the most beautiful people on the planet! Now, I'm going to walk you to the station. No, do not argue with me, I'm walking you there. Then, on the way, we will pick up some flowers for you to give him, because I know you, you'll feel better if you have something to give him from you. Now, I've already let him know your pronouns, so off we go!" I yelp as she frog marches me out of the door, only stopping to let me grab my bag with my money and keys, as well as a book for the train.
The next two hours rushes by, and before I know it, I'm getting off the train at Oxford. I swallow nervously as I make my way over the bridge to the exit. I give the barrier my ticket and even before I start looking, I can hear my name being called. "Ash! Ash, over here!" I grin, all nerves draining as I catch sight of Luke. He's grinning at me, which makes me go all soft on the inside. I run towards him and throw my arms around his waist. He hugs me back, just as tightly before we pull back. "Hey." I breath as I let him go. "Hi." He smiles. I blushed and held out the flowers. "I bought these for you." I mumbled, feeling a bit like a little kid. "Wow, um, I might have also got you flowers." He admitted, rubbing the back if his neck nervously as he produced the flowers. We both burst out laughing as we realised that we were both equally as nervous about this as the other. I offered to put the flowers in my bag, so that we had our hands free during the date. After we sorted everything out, we left the station.
Once we were outside, I felt his hand brush mine. I twisted my hand to grab his, and oh. My. God. I'm holding Luke's hand. I'm fully holding his hand, and he hasn't let go, and I'm just grinning to myself. I let myself be led in the direction of the Ashmolean Museum. We spent a few hours there, wondering the various exhibits, discussing the history of the artifacts, as well as just history in general. After we felt like we'd seen what we wanted to, we went to the gift shop, and we bought ourselves matching gladiator key chains.
After that, we decided to grab some lunch. We got chips and burgers (veggie for me) from the street food area of Westgate. Luke and I argued about who'd pay. He won by reminding me that he proposed the date. I got him back by insisting that I'd get to pay next time. He agreed, which made me feel a certain way, because he seemed just as happy for there to be a next time as I was. We sat down and that's when I started the conversation we should probably have before anything else.
"So, I definitely can see this happening again." I say, resting my arms on the table in front of me. "Oh, yeah, definitely. For sure." Luke agreed with me. "So, like, what now?" I ask. He takes half a second to think about it before replying. "Well, I was going to ask you later, but Ash, would you like to be my boyfriend?" I was so happy; I couldn't get the word yes out. I just leant over the table and kissed him. We hadn't exactly done more than hug, so he was rather surprised when I kissed him. I pulled back and nodded. I then realised something. "You said boyfriend. You don't...mind? Y'know, me, gender fluid and asexual. Like, I know you supported me when we were friends, but you want me as your partner. I want to be your boyfriend, more than anything, but Luke, people will judge you, especially about me being ace." I was about to continue, but he cut me off with a small, quick, kiss. "Ash, stop. I know what I'm getting into by dating you, and I don't care. If you being gender fluid means that people think I'm gay, or bi, or whatever, then so be it. I don't care, I just care about you. As for the ace thing, Ash, I don't care. I don't need sex, or the possibility of it, to start this relationship. Honestly, it sounds super weird to me, too, so I really don't see the big deal about it." I could feel the tears welling up as he continued to passionately tell me that he wants this, wants me, even if some hypothetical strangers judge us because of it. It isn't their lives, so they don't get a say in what makes us happy, and he hopes that he can make me as happy as I have made him. I kissed him for that. After that, we continued eating and talking about how his first week at uni has been. He gets really excited about being able to call me his partner instead of his friend now, which made me smile even more.
When I forced myself back onto the train, Luke and I had arranged our next date, so I spent the ride home gushing to Rani about how it went. That night, Luke and I spent hours talking, until I fell asleep, happier than I've felt in a while.
An: I have no idea if that was any good, but oh well. As usual, I only own Asha, no one and nothing else.
Ps: did anyone else almost cry when they mentioned Sarah Jane being canonically dead in the last episode of the special? I did.