Five Time's The Charm
[Cheers. Morning]
(It is a sunny Saturday morning at Cheers. As usual, Cliff and Norm are sitting at the bar with a beer. Woody is behind the bar, making drinks, and Carla is serving customers)
Cliff: I never thought I'd say this again, but... this bar feels very empty without Sammy.
Carla: And very quiet without Diane, but that's a good thing.
Norm: No, Cliff is right. The atmosphere is not the same since Sam's not around. How long has it been since the last time he came? Two? Three weeks?
Woody: (Looking at calendar) Two weeks.
Norm: Time flies when you've got a mug in hand, but yeah, I do miss-
(Suddenly and unexpectedly, Sam walks into the bar and everyone looks at him, surprised)
All: Saaam!
Carla: (Scoffing) You can't put up with Diane either and come in for a beer?
Sam: No (laughs). I come to work.
Carla: (Surprised) Aren't you staying with the princess in the tower today?
Sam: No, the princess is working.
Norm: She hasn't stopped writing in days.
Sam: No, she's at the theater. Now they're going to rehearse on Saturdays too to make up for lost time.
Woody: (Happy) That's great!
Carla: No, that's not great. Now I'll have to do her part of the job.
Woody: No, I was talking about-
Sam: (To Carla) Don't worry, she'll still come in the evenings. And I'll compensate you and Woody for doing my work and Diane's in addition to yours.
Woody: Thank you!
Carla: It's the bare minimum.
Cliff: Don't worry, Sam, I'm not gonna ask you for anything for taking care of the bar. It was an honor to be behind that bar for once.
Sam: I'm glad, 'cause I wasn't going to pay you.
(Norm and Carla laugh when they hear Sam and see the disappointed look on Cliff's face, and Woody smiles, happy to see that his friends are back to their usual dynamics)
Making your way in the world today
takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries
sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you wanna go
where everybody knows your name
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see
our troubles are all the same.
You wanna be where everybody knows your name.
You wanna go where people know
people are all the same.
You wanna go where everybody knows your name.
[Cheers]
Sam: (While making drinks, he looks around the bar) I hope I haven't lost too many customers during my absence.
Carla: Only the day Cliff was left in charge.
(Sam laughs and Norm smiles and then looks at Sam with a mischievous grin, like a kid who wants to make his friend an accomplice to a prank)
Norm: Hey, Sammy, pour me another beer.
Sam: You have one.
Norm: Yeah, but I miss you pouring them for me.
(Sam laughs and pours him another beer)
Sam: Hey, I have an idea, how about having a barbecue at my place tomorrow to celebrate everything getting back to normal?
Cliff: You're gonna stuff alcohol and cholesterol into a person who just got out of the hospital?
Sam: (Laughs) No. I'll have water or soda for us. And seeing the way Norm's headed, I think I'll go with lean meat.
Norm: (Somewhat annoyed) Hey.
Cliff: No, Normie, Sammy's right about this. Visceral fat is bad for your health. It could cost you a heart attack if you don't start taking care of yourself.
Norm: What do you guys have against fat people?
Sam: Nothing. Gaining weight from overeating isn't bad, as long as it doesn't give you heartburn, but getting fat from eating too much unhealthy fat is a problem. We don't care about your appearance, what we care about is that you're healthy.
(Norm, realizing what is happening, looks at Sam seriously and sketches a smile of respect)
Norm: You've been scared, huh?
(Sam is surprised at the comment and blushes a little, awkwardly and embarrassed)
Sam: (Nervous and smiling to hide his true feelings) No, I-
Carla: Sam, don't try to fool us, we're your friends. We all noticed how you looked at Diane, especially when she wasn't looking or when she was asleep. We're glad to see you're more relaxed now and that you've got your smile back.
(Sam blushes, a little embarrassed, and lowers his gaze as he sketches a faint smile)
Norm: As you and Diane once said, it's admirable for a man to love only one woman, the right one. And you do it with Diane just the way I do with Vera. Yes, they get on our nerves, but how we love them (laughs). It's normal to be worried when things go wrong for one reason or another. Do you remember how I was when we broke up?
Sam: Yeah...
Norm: Losing the woman of your life is something that tears you apart. When Vera and I split up for a while in '83 and when you and Diane broke up in '84 and she left for like six months it was because we all acted like real assholes, but this time was different. (Putting two fingers together) You were this close to losing her forever. That's much worse than any breakup. We may be the way we are, but we're proud that you were honest with her and made her see how much you care. If you hadn't, we'd consider you a jerk.
(Sam and Cliff both smirk)
Norm: And... I appreciate that after what happened with Diane you thought of us too. I'll be happy to eat whatever you're gonna make tomorrow (smiles).
(...)
(In the evening, Diane enters the bar. She has curly hair, is wearing a tight red dress, has two bags in her hand and is very cheerful and smiling)
Diane: Hello, everyone!
All: Diane!
Diane: (Very happy, she crouches down as if to jump up and down and clenches her fists, excited) Yes, I finally got it!
(Woody, happily steps out of the bar and hugs Diane, who hugs him back smiling)
Woody: Welcome, Miss Chambers. I can't tell you how glad I am to see you here again.
Diane: (Smiles) Thank you, Woody. I'm very happy to be back, too.
Sam: (Singing softly, almost humming) Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name / And they're always glad you came.
Carla: "Not 'always'", but it's nice to finally have help at the bar.
(Diane smiles, happy to see that even Carla is behaving properly)
Carla: Now we have the family all together. (Pointing to Diane with her hand) Goldilocks (pointing to Cliff, Norm and Sam at the bar) and the three bears.
(Diane smiles as if to say "Typical Carla")
Sam: (Laughs) What's with the hairdo? Back to the 80's?
Diane: (Smiles) I wanted to change it up a bit. Do you like it?
Sam: Yes, it suits you, and it looks natural, you don't look like a poodle like when you were 30.
(Carla laughs)
Diane: Carla, you have curly hair, you're in no position to laugh. (To Sam) And I was under 30.
Carla: Sam, you don't think I look like a poodle, do you?
Sam: I kinda do.
(Diane holds back her laughter)
Woody: By the way, Miss Chambers... (Bends down to pick something up, steps out of the bar and hands Diane a bouquet of red roses) Here, a welcome gift.
Diane: (Happy and surprised, she smiles and hugs him) Thank you, Woody! They're beautiful... (Gives him a bag) Here, this is for you.
Woody: (Looks at the bag and smiles happily) Chocolate! Thank you, Miss Chambers!
Diane: The ones from the box are for Kelly and the stuffed animal is for Oakley.
Woody: (Happy) Thank you very much (hugs her).
Carla: First day of work after a sick leave and you're already late 'cause you went shopping for presents.
Sam: Carla, she arrived on time.
Diane: I went shopping for them at lunchtime.
Woody: (Reaches inside the counter and pulls something out of a bag) Carla... (Gives her a bouquet just like Diane's) Here, this is for you.
Carla: (Surprised) Woody...
Woody: I thought it was unfair that only Miss Chambers got one. You work real hard every day and have been doing extra hours for the last two weeks. I thought this would make you happy.
Carla: Thank you, they're beautiful.
Sam: Hey, Diane.
Diane: (Grabbing her apron, turns around) Yes?
Sam: Have you prepared something for tonight?
Diane: (Puzzled) What's going on tonight?
Sam: (Confused) I thought we had a date or something. Why else would you come to work all dressed up?
Diane: All dressed up?
Sam: Didn't you look at yourself in the mirror before you left the house? I'm at a crossroads with that dress. I don't know whether to stand there and admire it or take it off and have fun.
(Diane smiles at the comment)
Carla: (Sickened) Leave those conversations for when you're alone. Some of us intend to have dinner.
Diane: Don't be so bitter and let us enjoy. I bring something for you too.
Carla: Suffering?
Diane: (Looks at her with a resigned smile) No. (She takes a box out of the other bag and gives it to her)
(Carla takes the box and opens it. When she sees it is a pair of customized sneakers with Elvis' face, she is left speechless)
Carla: (Very surprised) Diane... They're beautiful... (Happy) It's one of the best gifts I've ever received... Thank you...
Diane: (Smiles) I knew you'd like them. And I'm perfectly aware the gift doesn't make up for the double shifts of the last two weeks, but... at least this one I'll see you happy with them at work (smiles).
(Happy, Carla sits down to try on her new sneakers and Woody approaches Diane)
Woody: (To Diane, quietly) Ms. Chambers, about what Sam said earlier... If I were you, I would take the opportunity. You're beau-, no, you're stunning in that dress.
Diane: (Laughs) Thank you, Woody.
Woody: No, thanks to you, Miss Chambers.
(Diane and Sam smile as if to say "Woody being Woody")
Carla: (To Diane) Two martinis for table four, two Bloody Mary for table three, and four beers for those in the back.
Diane: (Smiles determinedly as she ties her apron) Coming up.
(...)
[The next day. Sam and Diane's house]
(In the garden, Sam has a grill, several reclining chairs, an armchair and a small table. It is a sunny day. Sam is wearing a rolled-up shirt and jeans and Diane is wearing a summer dress and a full-length apron. At that moment, Carla, Woody, Cliff and Norm arrive at the house, also in summer clothes)
Sam: (Happy to see them) Welcome.
Carla: (Mockingly, to Diane) I'm surprised you're up and about after last night.
Woody: (Worried) What happened last night? Did you have a relapse, Miss Chambers?
(Everyone looks at Woody, surprised at his innocence. Carla laughs, and Sam and Norm smile)
Diane: (Tactfully and tenderly) No, Woody, I'm perfectly fine, don't worry.
Woody: (Sighs in relief) Phew, what a relief. (Confused) Huh? Then what did Carla mean?
Diane: (Looks at him as if to say "Blessed innocence of yours. In your mid 30's and still don't get pervy jokes") She meant that because Sam is a sex addict and we, due to what happened, hadn't had sex, he must have gone too far with me because he was too... needy.
Woody: (Somewhat concerned) He hadn't, had he?
Diane: (Smiles when she sees his concern) No.
Carla: I don't wanna have details. If you talk about your sex life, I know one of us who's gonna lose her appetite.
Diane: (Offended) I wasn't going to talk about that! I've never done it to begin with. Some things should stay private, and this is one of them.
Norm: (Sitting in a reclining chair drinking beer) When are we gonna start with the food?
Sam: Right now.
Norm: (Somewhat startled) It's not diet food, is it?
Sam: No. It's meat and vegetable skewers, corn on the cob and grilled potatoes.
Diane: (Bringing a tray from inside) And I've prepared some fruit cocktails to drink.
Carla: (Takes one and takes a sip) Normally I would tell you it lacks alcohol, but since I have to drive I'll say "Thank you".
(Diane smiles)
Sam: (Laughs) Don't worry about that, Carla. By the time you leave, it'll have evaporated.
Carla: Not if my kids call me all of a sudden saying the house is on fire or that one of them is at the police station.
Sam: Don't worry, if that happens, I'll give you a lift.
(Hearing those words, Carla's face lights up, she jumps up to kiss Sam on the lips while everyone looks at her in surprise –especially Diane– and runs out towards the house)
Carla: Where do you keep the brandy?!
(Diane sighs resignedly and stops Sam)
Diane: (Somewhat annoyed) I'll go.
Cliff: I had no idea Diane was so jealous.
Sam: (Showing off) She's crazy about me.
Norm: No, she just doesn't trust Carla.
Woody: Is Miss Chambers taking meds?
Sam: Why do you ask that?
Woody: Because I don't trust Carla either, and she might give her alcohol to shut her up if she protests.
(Sam, startled at an idea that had never crossed his mind, runs out. When he goes down to the basement, he sees Carla and Diane going upstairs and he stops in his tracks)
Carla: Don't worry, despite that joke, I'm not gonna torture her down there, especially after you've invited me to alcohol.
Sam: What worries me is not that you torture her, it's that you give her alcohol.
(Diane, hearing this, looks at him angrily)
Diane: (Annoyed) Sam!
Sam: What?! It messes with the meds... (Sighs resignedly) For once I care about her well-being without hidden motives...
Norm: (From the garden) Stop fighting, I'm hungry and those skewers aren't gonna cook themselves!
Diane: I'll start cooking in a minute. I'm starving too.
Carla: We can tell just from looking at you.
Sam: (Annoyed) Carla, be more tactful. Besides, I don't understand why you tease her so much. I've seen you both in tight clothes and you're equally thin with six inches difference.
Carla: But I have better hooters.
Diane: And I have a kinder heart.
Carla: Said the woman who left two men at the altar.
Diane: At least I don't choose a hairy monkey for a husband, or a guy with a double life.
Carla: (Annoyed, she turns to Sam) Do you share a bed with her?
Sam: Of course I share a bed with her, we're a couple. Why do you ask that?
Carla: I was wondering if you feel like choking her with the pillow when you see her asleep.
(Diane looks at her angrily)
Carla: Or do you get scared when you see her without makeup and leave the room?
Diane: (Angry) I don't look bad without makeup!
Carla: You look like a corpse!
Sam: (Fed up and angry) Will you two just stop it?! This is a friendly get-together! The next insult I put away the barbecue and everybody goes home.
Carla: (Resigned) All right... I'll keep my mouth shut to enjoy this Sunday.
Diane: Thank you.
Carla: You still haven't answered my question.
Sam: (Fed up) No, Carla, I don't feel like killing Diane while she sleeps. So far she's only gotten on my nerves when she's awake. And it doesn't scare me to see her without makeup either. She looks a bit pale, but she doesn't look ugly, let alone scary.
Diane: (Nodding to Sam) Thank you. And I'm sorry for being gifted with perfect porcelain skin and bright blue eyes instead of rosy cheeks.
Sam: Don't worry, that way I have an excuse to pinch them.
(Sam grabs Diane's cheeks, Carla makes a vomit-like gesture, Diane smiles at the sight of her and Sam, seeing Diane, turns and smiles too)
Sam: (To Diane) Too bad the eye thing doesn't apply when you're asleep.
Diane: (She thinks for a second and frowns) That's not bad, sleeping like that would be scary.
(Sam and Norm laugh a little at the thought)
(...)
Norm: (Eating) Man, this is tasty.
Cliff: It reminds me of my family's barbecues in Florida.
Woody: And me of our family parties in Indiana.
Carla: Diane, you grew up in a posh environment, did you have barbecues?
Diane: No. My father traveled a lot, so he wasn't home much, and my mother is not a barbecue kind of person. I personally like them as long as the food is not too greasy, the weather is nice and the company is good. It's nice to eat outdoors in the summer.
Norm: If it weren't for the fact that I sweat like a pig, it would be my favorite time of the year.
Carla: I have mixed feelings about it.
Woody: How's that?
Norm: When it's hot, Vera doesn't ask me for sex, so I just sleep and drink beer.
Carla: I like summer because Cliff is in Florida and because lots of people come to the bar and I make more money, but it's tiring having the kids at home all the time.
Diane: I like summer too. When the weather gets hot it's like my body goes into vacation mode.
Carla: I hope that doesn't show on your work.
Diane: (Looks at her annoyed) Was I lazing around yesterday? What I mean by "vacation mode" is that I feel more relaxed and in a good mood, and I feel like going to the beach or sitting in the garden to read a good book.
Sam: The beach sounds good. We can go sometime.
Diane: (Happy) I'd love that!
Sam: But don't carry a big book, my idea of a day at the beach is to swim and play a bit. Maybe get some ice cream.
Norm: (Smiles and looks at Cliff) Look at them, they're like two teenagers in love.
(Diane looks at them with a smirk)
Woody: That sounds like a fun plan, what about going all together one day?
Norm: Woody, I think they meant a romantic date.
Sam: Not necessarily, it could be fun.
(Diane looks at Sam annoyed, as if to say "Sam, that was our date!")
Sam: Don't worry, I promise we'll have our beach date too.
Diane: (Somewhat annoyed) You better.
(...)
(In the evening, Sam and Woody play pool in the basement while Cliff and Norm have a beer at the bar)
Carla: Hey, Diane, shall we play a game of darts?
(Diane, seeing that Carla is kindly involving her in something, is surprised)
Diane: Okay.
Carla: Wait, I'll make it a little more interesting.
(Carla walks over to the dartboard, stands on her tiptoes, unhooks it, puts it on a bar stool, pulls a picture out of her pocket, unfolds it, hangs it up with a thumbtack and hangs the dartboard back in place. Diane, turning around and seeing that what Carla hung up is a mug shot of Andrew Schroeder, almost spits out the water she was drinking. Angry and determined, she picks up the darts and starts throwing them, all underneath the dartboard)
Carla: I expected you to be bad at this, but not this bad.
Diane: (Focused, still throwing darts) I'm not bad at it. I'm aiming for his neck.
(Sam, who was watching Diane throw while waiting for his turn, smiles at her quip)
(...)
(At night and with a starry sky and a full moon, Sam and Diane say goodbye to their friends in the garden)
Sam: Thank you for coming, it's been fun.
Norm: Thanks to you for the beers and the food.
(As everyone is getting into their cars, Diane turns around to enter the house)
Sam: Wait! (Going over to the couch, a bit nervous) Can we sit here for a moment? There's something important I want tell you.
Diane: (Scared, stares at him) You didn't kill him, did you?
Sam: (Puzzled) "Kill"? (He thinks and laughs when he realizes) Ah, you mean Andy Andy! No, I haven't killed him. What I want to tell you has nothing to do with that.
(Diane breathes a sigh of relief)
Sam: Come, sit down.
(Sam pats the couch twice to tell her to sit down and Diane obeys. As soon as she is next to him, Sam takes her hands and she looks at him somewhat puzzled)
Sam: What I wanted to tell you is... Thank you for coming back with me. (He hugs her)
(Diane, listening to Sam, is surprised, since he is not a person who shares his feelings just like that)
Sam: "It may be the gulfs will wash us down". (Somewhat nervously, he pulls a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and starts to read) "It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles. And though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are. Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield".
(Realizing that he is reciting a passage from Tennyson's Ulysses, Diane's eyes fill with tears and, in disbelief, she pinches her cheek)
Sam: (Startled, he grabs her hand) Hey! What are you doing?!
Diane: (Moved) I wanted to make sure it was real this time. How do you know that poem?
Sam: Well... About two nights ago... You fell asleep holding the book. When I went to take it from you it was open at that page. I was curious to see what you were reading, so I took a look at it and I was surprised to see that not only was it understandable, but what it said reminded me of us.
Diane: (Moved) Sam...
Sam: Except for the last two weeks, these last two months have been wonderful. I've been happier in this time than I have been in the last eight or nine years. (Makes a small pause) Look, I know that getting the house ready hasn't given us much time, and that you were the one who said to wait, but after what happened I realized that if you had left me, I would have regretted not telling you this, so, (kneels down and pulls out a ring) Diane, would you marry me? And please don't say no this time.
Diane: (Smiles, moved) Of course I will marry you. (Hugs him) I know I've drove you crazy in the past, in all senses of the word. (Sam smiles at the comment and Diane pulls away and looks at him, nervous and excited) But I'm so happy to see that you mean it this time, to know that you're ready... Thank you for being there for me all this time, first with the house and then with... you know... It means a lot to me that you didn't run off to have fun and leave me alone with the responsibilities, and also that for the first time you cared about me in such a genuine, pure way. Thank you. (Kisses him) I will be very happy to be Mrs. Malone (smiles).
Sam: (Happy) We have to celebrate this! (He takes her in his arms and starts walking towards the house)
Diane: Wait, let me at least change!
Sam: Don't bother, I'll take it all off.
(...)
[Sam and Diane's house. Monday morning]
(The curtains are drawn and the room is still dark. Diane is sleeping in her pajamas and turned to the side. The other half of the bed is empty. When Sam enters with a tray, the room is slightly illuminated by the light coming in from the living room. Sam puts the tray carefully on his nightstand and gently leans on the bed to kiss Diane on the cheek)
Sam: Good morning...
Diane: (Still half asleep, she smiles) Good morning.
(Turning over and seeing that Sam has made breakfast, Diane opens her eyes wide in surprise and looks at him in disbelief)
Diane: (Smiling, happy) Sam, is this a dream?
Sam: Only if that's one of your metaphors. (Kisses her)
(Diane laughs, happy to see that for once the roles have been reversed, she smiles and kisses him again, thrilled)
Sam: We'd better stop with the kisses, I don't want us to be late for work. (He sits down and puts the tray on his lap. Seeing avocado toast with poached egg on top and a bowl of strawberries, Diane smiles)
Diane: It looks great!
Sam: I wanted to make eggs Benedict, but then I realized I had no idea how to make the sauce.
(Diane smiles at the comment)
Diane: May I ask what the special treat is all about? (She pricks and tastes a couple of strawberries) Mm, they're sweet.
Sam: Does a man need a reason to pamper his fiancée? (Kisses her on the cheek as he pushes her hair aside with his hand)
Diane: (Smiles and looks at him) No, but it's the first time you've done something like this.
Sam: I want to... do it better than last time.
Diane: (She is surprised and, moved, she smiles and kisses him) That reminds me... The ring... it was the one from last time, right?
Sam: Well, back then you said you loved it, so I thought it would be best to ask you again with it. And as I assumed, it was in your jewelry box.
(Diane looks at him with a grin)
Sam: What? After all the trouble it caused me, it's natural I wouldn't want another one. And since it's with you, it doesn't count as reusing.
(Diane shakes her head, smiles resignedly, tastes one of her toasts and is surprised)
Diane: Delicious! You remembered to add salt and lemon to the avocado, and the egg is not raw nor hard on the inside. And the toast... (She looks at him and smiles) They're perfect.
(Diane looks at Sam with a smile and realizes he understood perfectly what she meant)
(...)
(Already dressed, Diane is sitting in front of the dresser to do her hair and make-up)
Diane: (Combing her hair) Sam, I just remembered that we have a conversation that has been pending for (stops for a second to think) weeks I think. (Looks at him) What things do you like to see me in?
Sam: (Somewhat annoyed) Again with that?
Diane: (Annoyed and a little hurt) It's important to me! If I let it be, the yellow nighty could happen again.
(Sam, remembering, laughs again and Diane sighs in frustration)
Diane: (Annoyed) Sam! Can you stop acting like a five years old and answer me already?
Sam: All right... If it's important to you, I'll tell ya.
Diane: You can skip the clothes part. While we were waiting for you Woody told me what you said in the waiting room.
Sam: (Somewhat annoyed) What a snitch...
Diane: No, it was very sweet. It's nice to know how you feel about me.
Sam: Yeah... Other than that, what do you wanna know?
Diane: I don't know. For example... What do you think of my hair?
Sam: That it looks better than when you woke up (laughs).
(Diane looks at him seriously, with a "I'm serious" look on her face)
Sam: All right, all right. I like it either way: straight, curly, wavy... But natural straight, not when the bottom looks like a spoon. And curly but like the other day, not like a poodle. You also look great with your hair up, especially in a ponytail. I prefer the bans when they're not too thick. And for clothes I'd like to see you in jeans some other time. And in a bikini.
Diane: Okay. Now, what things you don't like to see me in?
Sam: Mmm... Blouses like these that are very (gestures with his hands) I don't know how to say it, but you know what I mean. But it's your style, and I respect it even if I don't like it. And aside from the clothes... The paint you put on your eyelids...
Diane: (Raising her eyebrows) Eye shadow?
Sam: That. I like the light ones better or when you don't wear anything. That way the blue of your eyes stands out more.
Diane: (Smiling) I understand. The more natural and discreet the makeup, the better.
Sam: Yes, but don't stop using mascara and blush, those two things are very flattering. And red lipstick, you look great with it. And last but not least, I don't like to see you as skinny and pale as you were last week, you look better this way. (He kisses her on the cheek)
(Diane remains silent for a moment, thinking, and Sam starts to laugh)
Diane: (Fed up) What is it this time?
(She touches her cheek where he kissed her, looks at her fingers in case he pranked her, and, still suspicious, looks at herself in the mirror)
Sam: I was just remembering Coach.
(Diane looks at him surprised to see that it was not something stupid)
Sam: Remember when he said his way to get attention from women was to intentionally hurt himself?
Diane: Yes (smiles).
Sam: Well, I was thinking that's a good method, and that it also works in reverse. I mean, you obviously didn't do it on purpose, but whichever way you look at it, I spent two weeks glued to you. That's the most I've ever lasted with any woman, and without sex, it deserves a lot of credit.
Diane: (Looks at him in disapproval) Sam! (Applying blush) Besides, if we're already a couple- (Recalls how the first time they were a couple he did not care about her when she missed a week of work because she had the flu) Yes, it works.
Sam: Talking about this, I just remembered Jack (laughs).
Diane: (Turns and looks at him raising an eyebrow) "Jack"? That asshole who left us alone on a plane just to annoy us?
Sam: Yes.
Diane: (Turning to continue doing her make up) What about him?
Sam: I was wondering... Is it true that after a near-death experience food tastes better and sex feels better and you appreciate everything in life more?
(Diane looks at him as if to say "You've gotta be kidding me")
Diane: No. I appreciated all that before. (Frowns) Wait, you're not asking me this because you actually noticed a difference?
Sam: Don't be silly! (In a playful tone) You know I always enjoy sex.
(Diane sketches a resigned smile)
Sam: It's true about the food, though. It goes down much better when you're not wondering if your girlfriend will make it to tomorrow.
(Hearing him, Diane is saddened)
Sam: And it tastes much better when you have her next to you looking at you with those eyes and playful smile of (in a high-pitched tone) "Is it good, Sam?".
(Seeing Sam imitating her, Diane laughs and when she lowers his head, he takes the opportunity to kiss her)
Sam: And if you're wondering, no, this experience has not been eye opening for me. I was already aware of how much I love you and how much I care about you before this happened. All the time we spent apart was enough to make me realize it.
(Hearing him say that, Diane looks at him with a smile. He had definitely changed)
Diane: That reminds me, there's something I'd like to know. How did you get the idea to propose to me in the garden?
Sam: (Somewhat annoyed) Please tell me you're not gonna nag me about that. Look, I know it wasn't the most romantic place, but the time I rented a boat you said no, and at Cheers you said no too. This house is where you most insisted on wanting to get married. And since there was a full moon and stars and you were wearing the same pink dress as that time...
Diane: Sam... (Smiles) I liked the proposal.
Sam: (Surprised) Really?
Diane: Yes (smiles). It was nice and simple. And the poem was the icing on the cake. It was a beautiful detail, and very romantic. (She applies lipstick, stands up, picks up her purse and kisses him) See you in the evening.