Ever since the Cullens have left I've felt empty worthless a shell of myself barely hanging in their. Than I started hanging out with Jake, my Jake I even started to like him little more than my best friend and just when I'm ready to give him a chance he tells me the same thing and lights out again. Am I that horrible?
I'm sitting at the table moving my food around as my dad eats his dinner thinking about everything. "Bella!" My dad yells as he slams his fist down on the table nearly breaking it? "Yes?" "Im sick of this and your attitude, your going to your moms this weekend and their will be no fighting on this!" As he keeps rambling on attitude? Me? Doesn't he understand? Why can't he understand I'm so tired of being left behind! "Stop!" He looks surprised as I yell before he can start again I yell again. "You think I have an attitude because I'm fucking depressed?!?" "Screw you you know nothing!" "I'm not throwing an attitude I'm so tired of not being enough!" "Not for Edward Jacob or even mom!" At this point dad is sitting down as I'm yelling looking confused. "Do you want to know what they told me?" "Edward said I was just a waste of time a distraction while his in town, and Jacob said I wasn't good enough that I'm not good for him!" "Who the hell says that to someone, and mom what didn't she do?!?" At this point I'm pacing and so angry I'm shaking. "Did you even think for once while all of a sudden I went from staying the summer with you to only staying with you for two weeks?!?" "No of course not nobody ever thinks about the kids, I had to pay the bills,cook, and clean for Renee since I was eight dad!" At this point he looks shocked, did he really not know? "Do you know what i should have been doing?" "At eight I should have been over to spend time with my dad without worrying if next time I went home that the house wasn't burned down or light and water would still be on, I could never just be a kid, when I have a fucking kid as a mom!" "Do you know how that feels? I'm tired of it!" At this point every window in our kitchen and living room explode Charlie ducks for cover but I hold my hands out as the glass freezes in place.