A long time, I know! Very sorry; a mix of being sick- November was a nightmare!- and doing various rewrites because I DID NOT like my dialogue. Many thanks for your patience and hope the story doesn't disappoint.

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All lay quiet within the cove, even with the water ebbing over the rocks. The waves kept their dance quiet, reserved, wetting the solemn feet of the quarry. What boulders didn't float, they circled the Metkayina's tree before arching into the sky. Gentle tendrils of aqua and lavender reflected against the gray surfaces. Their borders fitted the inlet in solace and reverence expected of such an ancient place.

Jake floated into the massive half-dome of the sacred cove, his mount calmed by the surroundings. He longed to feel the same; it was part of the reason he had ventured out. The kids had asked for some space tonight. Neytiri sought counsel with Ronal and being alone...Jake couldn't find the space needed in the village. He couldn't find the satisfaction, the one word or action to quiet his spirit. So, here he was; where he shouldn't be.

Warm, placid water hugged up his thighs, but he didn't slide in. Seeing Neteyam again- even if only in memory- was an aching temptation that time wasn't relieving. Jake didn't know what time was anymore. He only knew being awake and being asleep... and whatever tasks he could throw himself into during those long hours. If he could escape the loop, for only a few minutes...

"I dive down..." Jake reasoned to himself, to the air, to the cove; he wasn't sure. "I won't wanna return. My soul... wants to drown with my son."

"Jake Sully?"

Jake went for his knife before recognizing Tonowari's deep-throated voice. The chieftain eased out of the shadows cast by the rocks, their skimwings facing each other. Jake held his gaze a moment, before his posture deflated, uncaring. After a moment Tonowari urged his mount forward and Jake followed; reaching the far edge of the cove and climbing the rocks, where they could gaze upon the luminesent tree below. Their feet lingered in the water, hypnotized by its glow. Jake recalled when he joined his kuru to the tree of voices; the people- young and old- sharing a glimpse of their lives with him. Ever since mating with Neytiri, he wondered at his own voice among them. To guide his children, as well as others. It was always me first. It was supposed to be me.

"It was the same when my parents passed," Tonowari spoke, spooking Jake from the silence. "Wanting to return, again and again. For their wisdom, their warmth. Just another moment of their company."

The weight in his voice told Jake the feeling never went away. As a soldier, you knew. He'd thought about Tommy enough over the years; it would never leave. "A child's different, Tonowari. An awful- awful different."

"All energy is borrowed." Tonowari continued with assurance. "Your family grasps this. As a warrior, Neteyam knew this. You must accept it, and not punish-"

"I deserve some punishment." Jake passes a hand over his tired, aching forehead. How everything ached, beyond skin and muscle. His ankles knocked against the jagged edge of the rocks, right where the coral began to grow. "But it- it's not just that.'

'I'm here to remind myself of why we need to fight. For the forest, the reef, the Tulkun... everything the people have built here, beginning with the First Songs. It rivals anything from my home world." Jake pushed his ankle against the rock, until the skin broke. He ignored the pain, pressing harder. "If I could vanish this war from here, I would."

"You need not prove it on your own." Tonowari told him earnestly. "Be the leader you claim. Do not pull back from the people."

Jake eyed him, one chieftain to another. "Tell me, do you believe what you said at the summit? About being convinced to fight."

Tonowari leaned back, his expanded ribs filling with a contemplative breath. He watched the sky. "When your family came to us, I understood perfectly. The Olangi brought us news of the war; we added it to our songs, included it in our prayers."

His breath hitched and Jake sensed the pain his own memories stirred within. "Ronal and I talked many nights... argued, hesitated, but finally agreed. We could not become involved... now Roa and her child are dead."

Jake released his ankle from the rock, sensing the warm blood leaving. It relieved nothing. Tonowari bowed his head in deep humility and reverence. "There was a reason you came to us, Jake Sully. Eywa sent you and her message is clear. We distanced ourselves too long from this conflict. I'm afraid, I look upon the battle ahead in eagerness. There is the chance to be redeemed before my people, for shielding them from the truth for so long."

His statements didn't comfort Jake.

"Then, there is my son," Tonowari's voice and posture fell back. "Ao'noung challenges how I could have been wrong. I can only warn him that he will understand in time."

"We've had to start speaking as men as well as fathers." Jake agreed. "I'd spend so many hours communicating this, to Neteyam and Lo'ak. Only, I wouldn't speak, just act. The Sky People returned, there seemed no other option to prepare them." His breath hitched again. "I couldn't afford to make mistakes. But I did."

Tonowari firmly rested his hand on Jake's shoulder. Jake pulled his control back into place. "I won't draw back, Tonowari. We fall apart from within, we've already lost."

"This is wise."

"Selfish." Jake admitted, cutting his ankle further along the coral. "I want the Na'vi to have their best chance... and I don't want to lose another."

Tonowari's eyes did not judge. The people's understanding of loss showed them how to extend grace to each other's grief.

I miss my boy. Jake's heart cringed from the familiar stab of pain. But I have to move us forward. If I'm gonna make sense of even a little of this.

"I will leave you now." Tonowari bowed out of their discussion. Jake kept his gaze on the multi-glows of the cove, listening to him pushing off. The soft sounds of nature pushed in around him once more. The natural rhythm of Pandora returning... a rhythm that now held his firstborn close. Blindly, Jake pulled the forest bead out from his belt. He had pierced it, covertly, at the medical tent. Until the moment that he could withdraw and add it to his cord in peace.

There was no better place. Jake knew he could come up with a reason to hold off. Here, or on Three Brothers Rock; or anywhere. The people seemed to have no right or wrong when adding to their songcords. Was the self-consciousness because he had not been born with one? Those of his children weren't much longer than Jake's. His and Neytiri's first night... his hunt and kill... becoming chieftain...

"Neteyam." Jake whispered, fingers over the bead for the anxious afternoon of his birth. The beads would be so close to each other- what was wrong with that picture!?

"GGGGAAAHHHH!" Jake's throat released the raw weight in his chest into the night air. It echoed across the water, sent a shutter through his mount. Jake listened, ears attuned to every vibration until they faded. Yet again, all returned to silence. And he felt no lighter, no less pain. This treacherous wound remained, stretched over his entire family... and no way for him to heal it.

I don't even want to. Jake let air pass between his fingers again. Singing the song... adding a verse over Neteyam's grave... would be the first stitch to heal it. In so doing, admitting his failure. And living with it. To stand before Lo'ak, Spider, my daughters-

"A brave son builds his father's pride." Jake started, breathed to steady himself, then went on. "Without question he fought... in duty he died. His family now defend his memory... until they see him again."

Why are you crying?

Jake secured the smooth, amber pebble onto the end of his songcord. Because maitan; there's no other way to navigate this emptiness.