Notes: HAI HAI HAI HAI AGAINNN EVERYONE ! ! ^_^ ^_^ I'm posting a second update for today ! ! Just for context , this is taking place at the end of November :) :) This chapter is being told from Dib's perspective and I got the title from the song Code Blue by The Dream . Originally , this chapter and the previous chapter were one big chapter haha XD XD But I decided it was important to split them up . Now . . . I absolutely LOOOOOOVE this chapter for obvious reasons O:-) . It was just a lot of fun to explore and write . I would like to remind my readers this story is rated explicit ! ! Especially this chapter . This chapter is meant for mature audiences meaning age 18+ . Okay ! ! Now that all of that is out of the way ! ! I really hope you enjoy this update as these two have seriously come a long way ****SOBS**** ! ! I would love to hear your thoughts ! ! Thank you so much for coming back to read my story , it means so so so much to me ! !
Code BlueIt's official. I am the worst person ever. I've been at Zim's house for almost three weeks now and he's done nothing but try to be helpful to me. And in return… I've been awful. Nothing he brings in here for me to eat or do goes over well and I always make him argue with me before I finally concede. Needless to say, I have knowingly been a complete headache for the past few days. Even just today, it's barely noon and I've picked two fights with him. The first being this morning when I refused the green smoothie and then 'accidentally' knocked it over. I did finally drink the second one he made only because he got to the point when it looked like he was done with words and seconds away from taking my head off. The second was just a few minutes ago when he brought my daily medication. Knowing full well I needed them, I still refused to take them and made up some bullshit excuse that I don't trust him drugging me anymore. Let's just summarize this to say that I've been extremely annoying and every nonsensical fight I pick, I push him a little bit further and I don't let up until it feels like he's right about to strangle me.
The bedroom door swings open and he walks in, glaring at me. Gaz follows behind him and once she's in the room, he immediately leaves again. She just stands in the middle of the floor, looking between the empty doorway and me.
"You guys seem tense." She says matter of factly.
"Us? Oh that's just- we're um… So how was school? You're super early." I say back and she raises an eyebrow before moving to sit next to me in her usual spot.
"It was fine. It's lunchtime but I'm not going back so I figured I'd stop by here before I head home."
"That's a very mature way of saying you're cutting class."
"Shut up." She says back.
"It doesn't make sense to cut school when you'll be on vacation in just two days."
"Because you love school oh so very much." She scoffs.
"Good point." I shrug. At that moment, Zim comes back and this time it's with the lunchtime salad. Gaz is focused on her phone at the moment and he holds the bowl aut to me but I don't move to grab it. "I'm not hungry. Especially not for salad. I'm sick of salad."
"Dib, I swear-" He seethes.
"Eat it yourself. I don't want it." I say back, turning away.
"Uh… Should I come back later…?" Gaz asks.
"No, you're fine." We both say to her at the same time. She looks between us with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"If you don't eat this I will blend it up and insert it into your stomach through your disgusting navel, now take it." Zim says through clenched teeth.
"No." I say back without even looking at him.
"Gaz-sister, how would you feel about being an only child?" He hisses. He doesn't seem quite ready to tear me to pieces yet though so I don't budge. Instead, I just pretend he didn't say anything and I don't react at all.
However… I may have misjudged how upset he is. From my peripheral vision, I see him just barely stop himself from reaching out to me and instead, his free hand goes for the glass of water on the nightstand. In a quick but purposeful movement, he sends the glass flying across the room and it shatters against the wall, what little water was left in it littering the floor along with the shards. I inwardly flinch and I can hear him growling next to me but he doesn't get a chance to do or say anything else as Gaz jumps up from the bed.
"Whoa whoa whoa, okay okay. I'll take that." She says, taking the bowl from his hand. "I'll make sure he eats every bit of it. You just uh… go… do Zim things." She continues as she ushers him out the door. Once he's past the threshold, he turns around and looks between her and I before rolling his eyes and disappearing down the hall. Gaz shuts the door and then turns to me but the look she's giving me makes me feel like I've grown another head. "What the hell was that!?" She asks and I sigh, averting my eyes.
"Nothing I just…"
"You just what!?" She asks, dropping the bowl into my lap. "What's wrong with you?!"
"You won't understand."
"You're right, I won't!" She says back, her voice dropping to more of a loud whisper. "Why are you being like that?" I can't put it into words though and I just look down at the food. "You had so much to say when he was in here bringing you your food."
"I don't know, Gaz." I finally say and she shakes her head.
"This is not what we talked about… I know you're feeling… you're- you're aggravated with him or whatever but this is not-"
"I already know that, don't try to lecture me."
"Then stop being the idiot who needs it!" She hisses and I sigh. "You have no idea…"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I said talk to him, Dib, not torment him. There's no way you're acting like this in his house while he's taking care of you. I've always thought you weren't all there before but this is very much over the top."
"Gaz, what do I have no idea about? What did he tell you?" I ask and she just shakes her head.
"Stop acting like a tantrum-throwing-three year old. Eat your salad and if I catch you acting like that again, I'll help him tear off all your limbs."
"When did you suddenly get so buddy buddy with him!? Just a few weeks ago, you wanted to murder him!"
"You are so dense." She sighs. Walking over to sit back down. She's shaking her head as she returns her focus to her phone and I finally swallow what little pride or stubbornness I have left to start eating. Now, not only is it difficult to eat because I'm tired of eating salad, it's even more of a struggle because my emotions are all over the place. I'm not hungry at all. If anything, I'm nauseous. But I don't need the both of them chewing me out so I just start shoveling the food down. When I get down to the last bite, I'm almost certain it's all going to come back up but I manage to keep it down and sit the bowl aside.
"So now you're mad at me, too?" I ask. She shakes her head but doesn't look up from her phone where I can hear what sounds like a game.
"Listen-"
She's interrupted when my watch starts trilling.
"It's dad." I say before answering. "Hey."
"Afternoon, son! How are you feeling?"
"Good." I shrug even though I'm feeling anything but. "Look, Gaz stopped by during lunch." I say, holding my arm out so he can see both of us.
"Oh that's great!" He says back. They talk for a few minutes about whatever exams she's been studying for but I'm zoning out. Somehow when I fell into this weird plan of antagonizing Zim, I didn't realize that at some point, I'd have to apologize for it. I really didn't plan for this at all.
I feel Gaz knock her shoulder into mine to get my attention and then she motions to the image of dad looking at me expectantly.
"Huh?" I ask.
"I said I've finished up with all the changes to the house that should make it easier for you to get around while you're healing." Dad says.
"Oh okay…" I say back.
"Yes and I'll be taking a few weeks and working from the home lab so that I can keep a better eye on you." He continues and I look at Gaz who just grimaces off screen.
"That's uh… great." I nod.
"Yes, so I'll be coming to pick you up tomorrow."
"What? That's uh… that's really soon, are you sure?"
"Certainly, I'll be there late. Most likely late afternoon, closer to the evening."
"Okay… I guess I'll see you then." I say back and he nods.
"I'll see you both soon!" He says before the call is disconnected. We both sit in silence for a few moments before Gaz takes a breath.
"Well, lucky Zim, huh?" She says.
"Yeah." I say back, dejectedly.
"You sound elated."
"Because at least if I'm here I can make sure he doesn't leave."
"Leave? Where do you think he wants to go?"
"I don't know he's just… unpredictable lately." I sigh.
"Even still, I'm sure he could use a break from you."
"Gaz, stop it. I already feel bad."
"Good." She shrugs.
"I'm going to apologize."
"Okay." She says back and we both just watch the clouds roll by over the skylight for a little while.
"You know what's unbelievable?" I ask, finally breaking the silence.
"What?"
"I had fun on that trip."
"Why would that be unbelievable?" She asks.
"I don't know. I guess because of how it turned out… I can't even recall half of it but… that was some of the most fun I've had spending time with him."
"You haven't really told me about anything fun you did…" She replies and I sigh but open the bedside drawer and pull out my journal from the trip. I flip threw it a few times before stopping on a page where I drew what it looked like landing on Suittie, holding the book out to her.
"Wow… You did this with color-pencils?" She asks, observing the page and I nod, reaching over to point certain things out as I describe what the planet was like. Either she's at least somewhat interested or she's humoring me by letting me tell her about our experiences when we left earth. Either way, I appreciate the chance to talk about it with someone. I don't want to pretend it didn't happen anymore.
As I turn another page in the book, she tilts her head as she observes my next picture. It's a picture of Vashti and on the page next to it is Enos. Both pictures are at the center of copious notes and arrows about them.
"This is the queen. And this is her youngest son. She has an older one but I didn't draw him… Zim wouldn't have liked that." I explain and she chuckles a bit. Remembering Zim's reaction to Geri actually elicits a laugh from me, too. "Yeah it was kind of a tense meeting but we talked for a long time before things went south."
"You're surprised that Zim is possessive?" She asks and I immediately shake my head.
"Not at all." I say back.
We're talking for a long while about multiple things. The food we ate at the party, my general understanding of Suittie biology and anatomy, my theories about their society and whether or not there are any living here on earth. I don't talk a whole lot about the Bunker but I do tell her about Skoodge and that we became friends. Talking about GIR during the whole crazy trip is slightly upsetting but still manages to be pretty funny and at some point, we hear the bedroom door opening so we both look over.
"Oh hey…" I say, offering a sheepish smile at Zim as he stands in the doorway. He looks between me, Gaz and my journal for a moment and I clear my throat. "Um, my dad said he'll pick me up tomorrow."
"Yes, he told me." He nods and we're both just watching each other until I feel Gaz sitting the journal in my lap.
"I Uh… I'm gonna get ready to head home." She says, looking at both of us before leaning over and going into her backpack. I groan loudly when she retrieves that dreaded purple marker and scoots off of the bed.
"I should take away your cast signing privileges." I say to her as she prepares to write what will probably be another humiliating word.
"Ooooo, what are you going to do? Get up and run away?" She taunts and I glare at her but it goes unnoticed as she starts writing. "Alrighty. I'll see you at home tomorrow." She says before walking over to the door. "Bye, Zim."
I look down at my cast searching for the new addition and it's hidden amongst all the there's until I finally catch it. In neat cursive, it just says 'bro'.
"I need to clean up this mess and then Zim will get your dinner." He mumbles after Gaz leaves.
"Oh… Okay." I nod as he starts picking up the glass that I forgot was even on the floor. I close my journal and put it back in the drawer. Actually, I guess I should start collecting all of my stuff… but I can do that later… I'm not rushing.
He wordlessly finishes cleaning up and then leaves the room. While he's gone, I'm trying to figure out what to say when he comes back and how to even say it. I guess it would make sense to at least start off with 'thank you'. And there's a lot of reasons to say that to him... I'm still appreciative of the trip, regardless of the outcome and of course I'm thankful to him for everything he's done in the aftermath. Including putting up with my… less than savory attitude… *internal facepalm*
The sun set just over half an hour ago and I've just been watching the sky transition all the different colors for a while. He finally comes back into the room and it's pretty dark but I can make out his figure.
"I have your food. Do you want me to turn on the light?"
"No, it still kind of bothers me." I say back and he comes over setting something down on the bed next to me. "Wait what's-" I start to ask but the scent hits me immediately and when I look down at the plate, it confirms it. "You got me pizza?!" I exclaim, sitting up and taking the plate. There are two plain slices on it and it has got to be the most beautiful thing I've seen on a plate all month.
"Yeah." He says back, preparing to leave again.
"Hey wait!" I call after him. He sighs audibly and turns around.
"What now?"
"I…" I start, then resort to biting my lip and looking around the room.
"Go on Dib, what is it this time? You no longer want pizza? You aren't hungry? You think I laced it with the anthrax powder?"
"No, no. None of those things." I say back. "I just wanted to thank you…"
"You… You did?" He asks, standing straighter. The dim lighting from the moon allows me to see he's squinting an eye at me in confusion.
"Yes. I appreciate it. And everything else you've been doing for me…"
"Um… I need to… Get back to work." He says.
"No! Can you please sit with me?" I ask and he sighs again.
"Zim is in no mood to argue with you, human."
"We won't, I promise."
"How can you make a promise like that?"
"Because I… I've been picking fights with you on purpose…" I admit, looking down at the plate and feeling the guilt intensify at the confession.
"Why? I thought you didn't like fighting with me anymore? I thought that was bad caring."
"It is. I don't like fighting with you and I'm sorry. I was just trying to… I just wanted to interact with you. We weren't communicating at all and… I thought that arguing would at least make this feel somewhat more normal but it really just made me come off as a d*ck. So, I shouldn't have done that. You didn't deserve that."
"Stop."
"Why?"
"Be-because, just… stop it." He says, holding his hands up. "You don't have to apologize because I'd be upset with Zim, too."
"No, you aren't understanding. I wasn't acting that way because I'm mad at you. It was just because I wanted you to talk to me. I wanted you to have a reason to be in here longer than 60 seconds at a time. I just went about it the wrong way." I explain but he still looks apprehensive. "And when we argue, that's the only time it feels like you don't view me as fragile and…" I trail off. "Will you please come and sit with me?" He hesitates near the door for a moment longer but finally resolves to sit in the spot that Gaz left vacant. After I exhale a relieved breath, I pick up one of the slices of pizza. "So did you make this?" I ask before biting into it.
"No. I ordered it." He says back and I nod.
"I should hurry up and eat it before you change your mind, then."
"I won't. I've taken your progress into consideration. This is fine."
"Cool." I say. While I'm eating he reaches over and I feel his fingers on my ear.
"Your stitches are fully absorbed." He comments. I can tell he's still a little on edge talking with me but I don't mention it.
"Yup." I nod. "Now that I'll be gone, you'll start working on GIR, right?"
"Yes, actually, I've been working on a machine that should help with that. I'll just have to place all the pieces of him I was able to recover, along with new ones I'll have to make from scratch, into the homogenization machine." My eyes widen when hearing this.
"So it won't take long? He'll be up and running again in no time?"
"If the machine works as intended."
"Don't worry, it will." I smile at him and he tries to hide the smirk on his face by looking down and fiddling with the hem of his tunic.
"So" he starts, clearing his throat. "Your concussion is fully healed, however you may still experience some light sensitivity for a little while longer. Also, as it's been over two weeks since your ankle surgery, you don't have to keep it elevated all the time anymore but it's a good idea to do so overnight while you sleep."
"You know way too much about this stuff for a non-human, you should become a doctor." I say back and he actually laughs.
"Zim would never. What other human filthies do you think I would willingly help?"
"That's true. You definitely can't be a selective doctor." I laugh back.
"Tuh, if Zim were truly selective, you'd have been done for."
"I'll bet." I snort. "I've been a nightmare."
"Yes you have." He says back but it doesn't sound malicious. It's still in more of a joking tone.
"You know, I drew a picture of you in my journal." I say and his face goes blue.
"What? Why?" He asks.
"Because I wanted to. It was supposed to be a sort of log for the trip anyway."
"Oh…"
"You mean to tell me you didn't look through it when it was delivered?"
"The thought didn't occur to me, no." He shrugs. I sit my half eaten second slice down and pull the journal out again. I turn a few pages in and stop, handing it over. "So… that's you."
"At the palace." He says, looking at the picture I drew of him sitting at the table and tracing over it with a finger. "I forgot you know how to draw things."
"That's because I'm usually working on blueprints and stuff. But I thought it would be fun to draw some of my entries." I say back, going back to eating as he flips through more pages.
"It's GIR." He says. "And you. What are you doing?"
"We're sitting in a pillow fort." I say back and he smiles, turning the page. After a picture of Minimoose and GIR on the couch in the Bunker, the remainder of my entries are written and then they stop so he turns back to the beginning pages.
"Zim had a feeling you drew the Suittie." He says, but when he turns the page he looks confused. "You didn't draw Geri?"
"Nope." I shrug, finishing my food and sitting the plate aside.
"Why not?"
"Why not not?" I ask. He rolls his eyes and turns to a blank page.
"I'll draw him for you." He says, dropping a pen into his hand from his PAK.
"Why?" I groan.
"For science." He replies and I groan even louder.
"You sound like my dad." I say but he's busy starting his drawing. "Seriously? His eyes weren't that big."
"You would know, wouldn't you?" He asks without looking up.
"You didn't even leave room for his mouth!"
"Of course Zim did." He waves me off, drawing a wobbly line under the eyes that falls well off both sides of Geri's face.
"Dude…" I shake my head as he continues to draw multi-sized and misshapen teeth on the weird mouth. He proceeds to give him the longest neck I've ever seen on anyone. "What is this giraffe neck?!" I ask, unable to keep my laughter in.
"You know Dib, it's good to have a partner in science. They may catch details that you don't." He shrugs smugly. By the time he's drawing this terrifying pencil shaped body, we're both cracking up. What's even funnier is that I know for a fact he can draw. His making this picture look awful is 100% intentional but it is hilarious. "He's all done." He declares, sitting the book in my lap.
"You are the absolute pettiest individual I have ever known, I swear." I say, trying to reign the laughter in.
"I trust that you'll keep that in a safe place. I wouldn't want him to-" He starts laughing again. "I wouldn't want him to discover it and have me arrested!" He exclaims, falling out again.
"Thank you for your contribution, douchebag." I say back, closing the book and sitting it on the table.
"Alright. You have to get ready for your shower and I'll get your smoothie."
"Noooo no, no. I cannot drink that smoothie after eating pizza. Can I please skip it." I implore and he looks thoughtful for a moment.
"Okay. If you agree to willingly take all of your medications, then Zim will allow you to skip the nighttime smoothie." He says and my shoulders slump.
"You want me to take the sleeping pill."
"Zim did say all of them." He replies and I sigh. I might as well make the deal. Otherwise, he'll probably just put it in the smoothie anyway and I'd end up having both.
"Okay, I can do that." I say back.
"Good." He says, standing up. He walks around the bed to the drawer for the plastic bags and gets me ready for my shower like he's done a million times by now. Only this time, I don't complain. He rolls me down the hall to the bathroom and before he lets go, I put a hand over one of his.
"Thanks." I say. He stares at me for a few seconds, then nods and leaves, closing the door behind him.
When I finish my night routine and pull the door open, he isn't waiting in the hallway so I assume I must have finished up earlier than usual.
I look down each direction of the hall and decide to head down towards the living room. When I get there, it's super quiet as the tv plays on a low volume and I think I hear Zim in the kitchen. Minimoose is sitting on the couch and he turns to me so I put a finger to my lips and he goes back to watching tv. I quietly slip by and slowly open the living room door. The landing right outside of his door is just large enough to fit my wheelchair and I pull the door behind me, but not all the way. I haven't had a chance to stare at the night sky like this in a long time. And luckily for me, it's a clear one. Even after everything that's happened, it's such a comfort to me. If anything, I'd say it's even more so now that I've made some memories out there. That small handful is better than 90 percent of the memories I've made here on earth. In the weirdest way possible, it feels like I belong out there.
"I'm starting to wonder which one of us is the actual Spaceboy." I'm startled when I hear this from behind me. Zim is standing there in disguise, bright blue eyes trained on the sky too.
"At this point, so am I." I say back, then we're both just quietly observing. It's silent outside save for the crickets hidden away in the shadows. A couple of houses have been decorated early for the holidays as thanksgiving is in two days. Other houses and driveways remain bare, representing families who have decided to spend their holiday elsewhere.
"I don't know if you've noticed but… humans aren't really ready to be out there." Zim says quietly.
"I mean… Yeah but, is anyone really ever ready for anything?"
"Typical human response." He tsks lightly.
"I'm just saying, sometimes there is no way to prepare for something. But when it's worth it, you just do it. And you learn as you go. It's… It's how we evolve.
"… Through natural selection?"
"No! Well I- what I meant was adaptation." I say back. He hums in response then takes a breath.
"It's freezing out here, so you need to go back inside." He's right actually. The night air has goosebumps raised on my arms and I shiver a bit each time the wind picks up a little.
"Okay." I nod as he starts to pull me back into the base. He locks the house up and deactivates his disguise, then pushes me back down the hall. In the bedroom, my medicine is already in a plastic cup with a glass of water sitting on the table beside it. He helps me get out of the wheelchair and back in bed, then hands me the plastic cup. "Can I take it in a few? I'm not ready to fall asleep yet…"
"Alright." He says. Then he just idles near the bed and I smile.
"Gonna miss me squatting at your house?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.
"Why would I miss all the work I've been doing?"
"I can give you a good reason."
"Well… Shut up." He says back, crossing the room and laying down beside me. "You don't know how many times I almost tore your vocal chords out."
"I can imagine. Sorry again." I say back but he waves me off. "I um… I want you to know that I'm still grateful to you for taking me with you." I say, staring through the skylight. I see him turn to look at me in my peripheral vision and I shrug. "I know you don't want to talk to me about it. But most of what I do remember was really fun. I liked traveling and spending time with you. GIR and Minimoose, too." I turn to him and even though he's facing me, his eyes are down and he looks pensive.
"But-"
"No. No buts. I had fun." I repeat, holding up my left pinky. "I promise." I say, but he just squints at it.
"What… What is that? What are you doing?"
"It's… A pinky promise?"
"What does that mean?" He asks.
"It means I'm telling you the truth." I reply, continuing to hold my pinky out.
"O…kay? Humans are so odd…"
"This is the part where you give me your pinky- er, I guess the equivalent."
"But I only have two…" He says back and I snort.
"Not like that. Here." I say holding up his hand and folding down two fingers, then hooking my finger in the third one. He hesitantly curls his and I smile at him. "See? Easy." I say, letting go and he looks at his hand. "Well, the motion is easy. Not making promises. Wait, actually, making pinky promises is easy. Not keeping them, I mean-"
"You're getting Dib-ranting." He groans, dropping his hand in annoyance and I chuckle but it dies when I look at him and the way his eyes are particularly radiant as he watches me in the small sliver of moonlight.
He specifically told me that we're not exploring romance anymore. And he's kept honest to that. But it's killing me inside. It's eating me up not being able to touch him anymore. That was another thing that arguing made easier. As likely dangerous as it is to feel attracted to him, even in his most volatile moments, I learned my lesson long ago about trying anything romantic when he's upset. But… he's not upset right now… And I think part of the reason it was so easy for me to pick fights with him is because I was angry. Angry at the fact that he is supposed to be mine and it felt like he wasn't… But regardless of how it feels, he IS mine.
He blinks at me a couple of times as I slowly close the gap between us. I'm a hair's distance away from him and half expecting him to move or push me away but instead, his eyes fall closed and so do mine. My heart feels like it's being flooded and all of my nerves melt away as I lift my leg out of the sling so I can fully turn towards him. My right hand lands on his side and he sighs into me, kissing me back more forcefully. Everything is hitting me all at once. I've been dying to kiss him again, I've wanted to hold him and tell him I love him. I've wanted to make him feel it. I'm grateful to him not just for everything he's been doing but just for being such a significant part of my life. If I didn't get this moment, I'm sure it was just a matter of time before I would have lost my mind.
Come to think of it, I may still be losing my mind. Bottled up emotions just aren't good for anyone- I need him, doesn't he know?
I feel his hand slide up my arm and he hesitates before gently holding onto me and I can tell he still feels like I might break at any moment. He thinks I'll shatter like glass, but I won't. I move even closer, until my upper body is right over his and his hand moves into my hair, claws dragging through my scalp as I hold him closer. I'm trying to control myself but I just want to let my hands explore every inch of him. Instead, I grip at the chest part of his uniform and his hand closes around some of my hair, which always gets me.
All too soon I feel him let go of my hair and his hand falls onto my chest, pushing me back. It's understandable, I knew it couldn't last forever, especially not when he already told me we wouldn't be doing this anymore. My heart still squeezes as I start to pull back but he continues both pushing me away and kissing me until I'm back against the pillows. He crosses one of his legs over me until he's straddling my hips and I let my hands fall to his waist. As long as he wants to kiss me, he can. Who needs to breathe when I've got him?
He pulls away, looking down at me, antennas lax in that adorable way they do, and I move my hands up to the sides of his face gently.
"I missed you." I breathe, tracing a finger down his antenna lightly.
"Not possible. You've been in my house, in my bed for weeks." He replies with a teasing lilt in his tone and I shake my head, smiling up at him.
"You know what I mean." I say back. He looks down then but only for a moment as I bring my index finger under his chin.
"I… Zim missed you too." He replies and the pure relief I feel is dizzying. Or maybe that's just him.
He slides my glasses away from my face and folds them up, setting them on the table before leaning down and pressing his lips back to mine. How can anyone make me feel this way? How could anybody taste like everything that's good and right in the world? He's got to be the most addicting candy I've ever had.
"Are you- is this uncomfortable? Am I hurting you?" he whispers and I immediately shake my head.
"No no, you're perfect." I say back and I almost wish there was a little more lighting in here so I could see the pretty blue that's undoubtedly dusting his cheeks right now. Man alive, even if this did hurt, I would straight up lie as opposed to having him stop. Butterflies trump pain and that's all I'm feeling as his tongue trails up my neck, near my ear, chipping away at what little self control I have left. I start absentmindedly looping an antenna around my fingers delicately, holding him by the small of his back as he's placing small bites up and down my neck.
Then that thing that happened in the Bunker happens again. It's this noise, like a vibrating or… a whirring, motor kind of sound. It's definitely not like anything I've ever heard on earth and I'm expecting him to pull away again. The same way he freaked out about it last time, but other than a momentary pause, he doesn't. He kisses me a few more times before trailing over to the other side of my neck and the… I'll call it purring? It intensifies as I continue massaging his antenna. If he isn't going to pull away, I unfortunately might have to because he's driving me insane. I try (and fail) to swallow down a need filled whimper as he trails his lips up over my ear and I all but melt into the mattress beneath us when he starts to whisper to me.
"Pull my zippers down." He says, refocusing on littering my skin with what I'm sure will be small bruises. The tingles running down my spine cause a momentary freeze for me but I try to recover quickly, letting my hands trail up his back. My heart starts to beat harder against my chest and my hands unsteadily find the zippers above his PAK first. I pull one down, then the other, exhaling a shaky breath and letting my hands find the two near his lower back. Once I work them both down, he sits up and takes off his gloves, setting them on the bed and I pull both the tunic and the undershirt away from him. I will never get over how perfect his skin is. It's soft and flawless, this incredible shade of green that I never knew I needed so badly. I drag one hand down his chest, there's of course no heartbeat but his skin is cool like always. Just getting to touch it again makes me feel like I'm finally home.
"You're beautiful, Zim. You really are." I whisper, letting my eyes roam over the exposed skin before guiding him back to the other side of the bed so that he's laying down again, the moonlight cast over his face makes his eyes glitter and his skin appear iridescent. Looking at him right now, I couldn't give him my heart any more without carving it out and handing it to him. And I would if he asked me to.
He pulls at the hem of my t-shirt and I feel my confidence waver slightly.
"Take this off. Isn't that… how this works?" He asks and I smile down at him. I mean yes but… Wouldn't it be just my luck that I'm literally covered in bruises and bandages now that he's finally ready to see me? There's still a pretty big bandage across the right side of my chest and a less than attractive reminder of where the chest tube was on the side. And of course there's still a lot of scarring on my neck and both arms.
"It… It's supposed to but…" I don't finish the sentence and his eyes take on a more sultry look that has got to be something Irkens did in the past for this exact purpose because it feels like I'm completely under his control as he motions a finger towards him. I'm already following before he speaks.
"Come down here." He says. When I'm down close enough, he moves my face a little to the side with his and I feel his breath near my ear again. "I've seen you naked."
"Oh my gosh." I groan, feeling my face heat up.
"Plenty of times." He shrugs as I sit back up and try to recover from the burning embarrassment. "Off." He repeats more forcefully, tugging at my shirt so I finally comply, crossing my arms and pulling my shirt over my head. He drags a single fingertip down the center of my chest which makes me shiver. "Humans are so self conscious about their physical appearance…" he says, shaking his head.
"I got all… messed up." I say back apologetically and he tsks.
"You look like Dib to me so you look… perfect." He says and it is so unexpected that I just stare at him for a second with wide eyes before leaning down again to kiss him. I feel his arms go up and then his nails digging into my back before suddenly the nails stop. But he's still pressing his fingers down into me and the sudden ceasing of the sting shocks me.
"What just happened?" I ask.
"Eh- what?" He asks, looking a little disoriented.
"Your nails." I specify, holding one of his hands in front of me. "Where did they go?"
"Go? They're right here…" he says back, and they extend from the tips of his fingers, quick as a lighting flash and then disappear again.
"Holy crap. You have retractable nails?!" I exclaim.
"I don't know, I guess so, they're just- is that really the part of my anatomy you're interested in right now?" He asks and he's right. I can ask those kinds of questions later.
"No." I say back, lacing our fingers and pinning his hands on either side of his head, then capturing his lips. The feeling of his tongue slipping into my mouth is intoxicating and every taste of him I get, I always want even more. I let go of one hand and slide mine down his body, towards his inner thigh and allow my fingers to explore a bit before pressing onto the outside of his leggings. He inhales sharply so I do it again and his legs spread wider. These leggings have definitely got to go.
I place feverish kisses down his chest, over his torso until I'm near the waistband and I kiss there too, living for the way his breathing quickens. I hook my fingers into the black pants but as I start to pull them away from him his hands cover mine.
"What's wrong?" I ask and his eyes dart around the room a few times.
"What if… What if we're not compatible?" He asks and I run a hand through my hair, blowing out a breath.
"Uh, well, I guarantee you, the way I'm feeling right now, we will be." I say back and he scoffs.
"That's not what I meant. I mean… Physically."
"Oh… I don't think we have to worry about that." I say back.
"Dib, I don't know anything about how Irkens mated in the past. What if it's dangerous for you- fatal even? I mean humans are just so… so… You know?" He asks and I nod.
"Yeah… I couldn't think of a better way to go." I shrug and he flicks my forehead which still surprisingly hurts, even without his nails.
"Can you clear your mind for 30 seconds?!"
"Literally, no. I can't." I say back, gesturing at him and he rolls his eyes and sighs. "Okay okay. First things first. You… want to do this right? With me?"
"Yes."
"Okay. So… How about we just take things slowly. And if anything feels uncomfortable or painful for either one of us, we just have to say that." I suggest and he nods. He still seems a little apprehensive so I lean down, pressing kisses At the base of his antennas and massaging them gently. Once I hear a gentle vibration start at the back of his throat again, I move my kisses to his lips, realizing it may just be my new favorite sound. The slight tension in his body melts away as I trace the waistband of his leggings at the same time before dipping my fingers down.
My heart is racing as I slowly trail my fingers down and the momentary concern at not feeling… anything at all fades away when my fingers come to what feels like a slick opening. I successfully bite back all the questions I have about it which is actually pretty easy to do when I tune into the quiet noises he starts making as I begin dipping into his entrance. His back arches a little when I start pressing two fingers further.
"Is that okay?" I whisper, trailing kisses down the side of his face.
"Yeah…" He nods, curling his fingers in my hair. He sucks in a sharp breath when I start to pick up the pace, lightly sucking on his neck and reveling in the new sounds I'm hearing. It's taking every ounce of self control in me not to just ravage him right now- and I barely even know what I'm doing. This part of him is definitely warmer than the rest and I feel my fingers being coated in what feels like gel as he starts to move against me.
His hands leave from my hair and he lifts himself up just enough to tug his leggings off the rest of the way, then wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me hard. It almost feels like my fingers are being coaxed forward, to the point that there's a slight suction feeling every time I pull them out and I think I'm just about ready to dedicate my entire life to Irken anatomy.
His moans become more interwoven with clicks and chirps sounding from the back of his throat when I start to feel… something. The area I bypassed earlier, assuming it was just a stretch of smooth skin isn't the vacant spot I presumed it to be at all. I pull my fingers out and ghost them over the slit that's parting. For a second it seems similar to how female anatomy is until it gives way to a full appendage and I am at a loss for words. But I'm definitely over holding back.
"That… That's never happened before…" He pants, looking off to the side. I take my hand away from his antenna and hold my pinky out to him causing him to blink a few times and shake his head in confusion.
"You will tell me if anything I do is uncomfortable. Tell me to stop what I'm doing and I will." I nod and he hooks his finger in mine, then I'm placing kisses down his neck, across his chest, past his stomach, nipping at his hip bones as I gently drag my hand up his length a few times before leaning forward letting my tongue drift over the top.
"Oh… wow…" I hear him mumble before I go down further, bringing my tongue up from his base. I get a glimpse at his half lidded eyes, or they catch my attention at this moment because they have to be the brightest glowing shade of scarlet I have ever seen. Another mental note filed away.
I finally take him in, my tongue dancing over him as I collect his taste which I can't get enough of. It's girthier the closer I get to the base and I'm lost in the unnatural sugar. When I feel his hand dragging over my hair and back it feels like he's petting me and whether he really is, just likes feeling my hair, or just needs something to hold onto, I take it as a praise, holding him by the hips as I keep going. His moans start to get louder and I already miss the feeling of being inside of him so I push my fingers in again and his grip on my hair tightens as I'm working him over.
I thought he was the epitome of perfection before but ho-ly fuck. He has no idea just how intense I feel about him or how long I've actually dreamt about finally getting to explore him. It's been years. Years of me falling in love with him, years of me craving even just the smallest piece of him. I was willing to try and be with him without getting intimate, if that was really what he wanted but as much of him as he allows me to experience, whatever he's willing to give me, I'll take it and I will worship him. I'll take every single opportunity I get to make sure he feels seen, heard, loved, understood. If there is any way for me to make him feel good, I'm not hesitating. Not even for a second. I need him to know what it means to truly belong to me.
His breathlessly moaning my name in ways I've never heard before is going to be permanently etched into my mind. I don't know how I'll ever be able to think about anything else ever again. I can tell the moment I send him over the edge by the way his words become a jumbled mess. Also… humans and Irkens aren't so different in that respect but I'm not complaining at all. I've got it handled.
His member starts to slide away from me and I only follow for a second before his hand is on my forehead, holding me away as it retreats. He drops his hands to the bed, eyes closed and breathing heavily as I pull my fingers out slowly.
"Are you okay?" I whisper. His tongue darts out to lick his lips and he nods his head. I trace a finger down the side of him and as I move it back up his torso, he catches it. I look up at him and he's staring at me with that same look, bright red, the equivalent of staring into a swirl of black and white. My mind goes blank even though I'm sure I want to say something, I can't get past the mesmerizing gaze. He yanks me down, kissing me fiercely and I come back into myself, his coolness feeling perfect against my overheated skin. Then I feel his other hand between us fiddling with the drawstring of my pants and I pull away. "Wait, don't you need a moment?" I ask and he tilts his head to the side.
"A moment for what?" he asks.
"I don't know…" I shrug. "Breathing?"
"Breathing?" He asks blandly and I shrug again. I don't know, it would just seem like he might but now I feel a little silly for asking. "I'm breathing fine." He says, pulling the string loose with one hand and grabbing the waistband with the other.
"Wait wait!"
"Why?" He asks freezing and I don't respond because I'm not even entirely sure why. Maybe it's nerves… As much as I've always thought about him, I also don't exactly know what I'm doing here aside from just exploring things that might make him feel good.
He pulls his hands back slowly, eyes searching my face. "You… You don't want to?"
"No, I do, I do! It's just that I mean… I don't even have protection…"
"Against me?!" He asks defensively.
"No, Zim, I mean… You know, a condom." I say back and the look of realization crosses his face.
"Oh…" He says thoughtfully. "Do you have some contagious disease I should know about?"
"No but that is not the only thing humans take into consideration, here." I reply and he snorts.
"Zim doesn't have a human female reproductive system if that's what you are concerned about. And even if I did, I seriously doubt a human would be able to properly fertilize an Irken."
"Why must you say it like that?" I groan, putting a hand over my eyes.
"You brought it up." He says back, taking my hand away from my face. "Also, Irkens don't come with smeet capsules anymore. Not for hundreds of years."
"Smeet capsules?"
"For… gestation?"
"…Why not?"
"Because it isn't necessary. They're removed before we hatch."
"But why?"
"I don't know Dib, maybe because Irkens are definitely not supposed to be doing this?" He snaps as if it's something I should already know.
"Oh…" Is all I manage but… Doesn't that mean someone at some point decided Irkens shouldn't be allowed to make their own families? How could something like that be taken away…
"Any more questions? Concerns?" He asks and I shake my head. I don't think I could be happier that he's here and not there. As advanced as Irken society appears… they're really ass-backwards.
"No…" I say softly, placing a hand on the side of his face. "I love you…"
He sits up, arms wrapping around my neck as he kisses me.
"I love you too." He says against my lips. My arms wrap around his waist and I feel like I could just melt into him. He has no idea how badly I just want to belong to him. And he is mine, whether he's struggling to accept that or not, and I am never giving him up. Not to Irk, not to the Tallests, not even death. Is it really cliche to say you would die for someone if you already have? Maybe. But I'd do it again.
He guides me until I feel the soft caress of pillows on my back and I feel his hands trailing down my torso again but I don't stop him this time. He works my pants away from me, pulling them carefully at the ankles until they're discarded. To say I'm a little self conscious as he observes me would be a total understatement but it's definitely obvious how badly I've wanted him to touch me.
"Okay…" He whispers more to himself.
"Are you-"
"Shhh." He replies before taking a breath and climbing over me.
I've thought about this. I've imagined what it might be like on countless occasions but it feels ten times better than anything I could have thought of. It easily surpasses all the thoughts of him I've fallen asleep to. He leans down to kiss me and I start massaging one of his antennas again, eliciting that perfect sound from him. His fingers start to dig into my chest but he stops himself and I'm caught a little off guard when he sinks his teeth into my bottom lip. It's a pain I've been missing so much followed by the soothing caress of his tongue as he makes his way down my neck. He isn't settling for small bites and light nips anymore, either but it's perfect. It's everything I want and there's a high possibility that I'd die if he stopped now. I don't care what I have to do, how many times he changes his mind, I am not going anywhere and I'll never let him slip away from me again.
His panting breaths near my ear are driving me closer to the edge as his hands find mine, threading our fingers and then holding them over my head. The bite he places at the base of my neck is hard enough to undoubtedly draw blood. It's pleasure, pain and pure ecstasy. Anything he wants from me, he is absolutely welcome to take.
"Zim, you are incredible." I whisper and I feel him inhale shakily as the vibration in his chest intensifies. I'm trying to avoid falling off the metaphorical cliff but it's a losing battle for so many reasons. My head starts to swim and all of my nerve endings are ablaze and as much as I don't want it to end, there just isn't anymore staving it off. "Wait, slow down."
"Wh- why?"
"Because if you don't- I- I just need to…" I say back, trying to catch my breath.
"Yeah I can tell, it's okay." He says.
"But-" he cuts me off with a hand over my mouth.
"Stop talking." He says.
I get one last look at him, radiant, alluring... and pretty damn dominant. It's all too much and it bubbles over, sending me into a free fall. I move his hand from my mouth and pull him down to me, the feeling of his lips on mine take me to another world as I come down from my high. My mind is in a haze as he leans into me, his forehead pressed to mine for a few seconds before he kisses me a couple more times and pulls away, falling beside me again, breathing heavily. I don't even think I could form a coherent sentence at the moment.
"That… That's exhausting." He says, staring up at the skylight.
"It can be." I laugh lightly and he turns to look at me.
"Yeah… But I see why humans still… do it." He nods. I move closer and let my head come to rest on his chest, pulling the blanket up, too. "You need to take your medications." He reminds me and I groan.
"Please don't mother me right now. It's weird."
"You'll regret that."
"Now you shhh." I say back, draping my right arm over him. We settle into comfortable silence, watching the stars overhead until I feel myself drifting off.
I'm not sure how long I've been asleep but I wake up entirely too soon. It's not a dream this time either. I jolt awake from this radiating pain in my chest. It hurts so much, I'm struggling to catch my breath even when I sit up completely straight. I look over to my left and try to keep my panicking at bay when I see Zim, back to me and still sleeping soundly. I'm sure if he were awake, I'd get a big fat 'I told you so'. Or the Zim equivalent anyway. I reach over to the night table and grab the plastic cup full of pills and turn it up without a second thought, picking up the glass of water right after and painfully gulping some down. If he did wake up and say that, he'd have every right to. What was I thinking?! Prescription pain meds will lull you into a false sense of security, for sure because I had no idea I was still this sore. I haven't missed taking them in weeks and now I'm feeling it. I'm counting the excruciating seconds while I wait for them to start working and it feels like an eternity passes before it finally starts to ease up. I'm sure it was maybe 15 to 20 minutes but that felt like forever! When I can finally take a decent breath without wincing, I have a few more sips of water and I'm about to lay back down when I notice something. It's dark enough that Zim's PAK is slightly brighter than any light shining through the ceiling and although the blanket is pulled up, almost to his shoulders, I can see his back. How did I completely forget that…
I slowly slide the blanket down a little more and the skin surrounding his PAK looks just as bad as it did the last time I saw it in the Bunker… But it's been so long… How could he not have healed? He didn't even seem to be in any pain…
I reach out a hand but he turns over and I snatch it back, thinking I somehow woke him. His eyes are still closed though and he settles back into the pillow.
I don't understand. Why isn't his PAK healing him? How can his skin still be this damaged after a month? And again, why does he still need to sleep? My thoughts start to take a turn for the worst as I watch him sleep and I want to wake him up because I need to understand. If he's been in pain this entire time, either I'm extremely oblivious or he's really good at hiding it…
"Zim…?" I whisper. His antenna twitches but he doesn't respond. "Hey…" I continue, gently shaking his shoulder. This time he squeezes his eyes tighter and shakes his head so I resolve to leave him be… for now, laying down facing him. As soon as my head hits the pillow, he puts his arm over me.
"Better." He mumbles.
"So you're awake?" I ask.
"No." He says back. I guess I'll question him a little later on, then. For now though, I think I can manage to drift off again.