Chapter One Hundred and Sixty One

Shockwave

New Sunnydale, the world without shrimp - November 2007

Buffy's fingers trailed over Spike's body. In the minute that followed his last words, he'd fallen unconscious. The Scoobies were in various states of sitting and standing, Dawn was desperately trying to decide what to do. Then she saw the look on Buffy's face, she dropped down beside Spike and took her sister's hand. "We'll help him."

Xander shook his head, "I can't believe this." Then he turned around and walked into the kitchen. Anya followed him, Spike was Spike. It wasn't really anymore complicated than that to her.

As Willow agreed to help to, for Buffy's sake, Spike shuddered. His face warmed up a little being out of the rain, and now that the Day of the Dead was officially over. But if he'd been out there any longer, he would've been gone. He started to sit up in Buffy's lap, his lips turning from blue to purple to a slight reddish-pink. Buffy's tears dried up and she put her hand on the top of his head. His bleached curls were growing out fast, the dark undertone reminding her of the first time she saw him with a soul. The crazy-Spike-in-the-basement look. That day was such a long time ago. And if what Spike had said was true, he had lost the something that made him the person she'd fallen for.

"We have to get it back," Buffy said stoically, no longer caring about anything else. She was being the slayer. She brushed her hair back and tied it up. She looked down at his chest again and examined the crater-like scarring around his heart. "Spike? Tell me what happened? Drusilla, what did she do? You were mumbling something about her."

"I killed her." He replied slowly, his voice cracked and croaking. "Turned her to dust."

Buffy stopped, "really? No I mean, really?" She didn't say it enthusiastically, it was more in disbelief. She never thought he would do it, even with a soul. She was a big part of his life for more than a century. Now she was gone?

"Unless he's lying," Giles suggested from the other side of the room. "This could all be a ploy to get you to do what he wants, Buffy." This was true, of course. Buffy herself had no way of knowing whether or not Spike was telling the truth. But in all that time they'd been close, together even, had he lied? She didn't think so.

"Spike, do you have any proof?" She asked.

"I had her dust on my hands." He replied solemnly, he knew at some point he would feel the loss of her. The loss of everything Drusilla had represented to him. But for now, he felt cold, hard, want. "All I want, is my soul. If you give it back to me, I'll leave. I swear, I don't want to mess anything up, I just want my soul. This was the only place I could think of, to go. Willow? You're the only person capable. Red? Do you hear me?" Giles perked up at that. The Willow of the old dimension sure, she'd restored Angel's soul a few times, by herself. But in this dimension, she shared that responsibility with Jenny. How could Spike know that? Could he sense it? Or he was just appealing to the person who was more likely to help him.

"What happened to it, Spike, your soul?" Dawn asked, still hovering over him.

"She took it out. Dru- she just reached in and pulled it out of me. That's why I was so hard on you Buffy," he turned towards her, reaching for her hand but she pulled away. "She was drawing me to her, it was some sort of spell, she wanted me to be her king. Crazy Dru. She just wanted me back." He chuckled, then remembered his place, "I don't know what crazy trip wizard she went to, to get that spell, but she just took it. She was getting too dangerous, I knew you would like it if I killed her." He said. Buffy retreated from him a little, she remembered this version of him too. The one who was obsessed with her, the one who did things selfishly for his own gain. "I need it back, Buffy," he pleaded with her, pitifully really.

"Spike, I-I," she started.

"Spike, once we've got you your soul back, you have to leave." Willow said, as Buffy and Dawn stood up. Together they hauled Spike over to one of the armchairs and he sat down. Anya took Jack into the playroom to get him out of the way and had Xander watch him. He wanted nothing to do with this.

*Flashback* Sunnydale, the world without shrimp (Jenny's version) - 1999

Whilst Willow had sustained a head injury the doctors were sure was nothing serious other than a slight concussion, Jenny was virtually unscathed. But injuries were the least of their worries. Buffy was off fighting Angelus somewhere and it was their job to restore his soul before the gateway to Acathla opened. The materials they needed had been fetched by Xander from the library, where'd they been left after the vamp attack. Jenny was perched on the side of Willow's hospital bed, a band aid on her forehead and an Orb of Thesulah on her lap. "Ready?" Jenny asked, still Miss Calendar in Willow's eyes.

"Yes," the redhead replied. She was ready, but she was also very nervous. She'd done a few spells, with Miss Calendar's help, some with Amy. But this was beyond anything she could do in her spare time. This was dark magic. If she'd had a list of spells try out in her lifetime, soul restoration would've been at the bottom or not even on the list at all. But here she was, about to do it. She had to. For Buffy. Buffy loved Angel, and they had to save the world. She wished it was really that simple. But they had to pull on large forces in order to enact the will of the orb. Willow was very grateful Miss Calendar was here with her. And she hoped Buffy would be proud of her if they managed it.

Jenny laid the translation of the spell out where both she and Willow could read it, and set up the circle of candles, animals bones and runes on the floor. Then looking up, she met Willow's eyes for a final time before they started the spell. "Don't be scared," she said, "just concentrate on the words and the magic. Go with your gut, but we have to hurry." Willow nodded, reaching out and squeezing her hand for comfort. She seemed a little uncomfortable with the action once she'd done it, but when Jenny reassuringly squeezed back, the awkwardness dissipated. Focus on the words, she told herself.

When they started the spell, Willow felt numb. The only things she could feel were the beating of her heart and her lips moving. She could barely hear the words she was uttering. The magic was rushing through her like a cold, fast river. Her eyes lit up, it was more power than she'd ever felt before. Quod perditum, all the way to, te implor, doamne. What was lost, shall be found. I call on you, Gods. They repeated it over and over until Willow's head was tilting back, the magic filling her completely before spilling out and filling the Orb of Thesulah.

It released her slowly, as it did Jenny. But she was far more used to this type of magic and recovered much quicker. Willow collapsed, exhausted. Her shoulders slumping back as her eyes closed. She slipped down into the bed and Jenny brushed her hair back before letting her sleep. She packed up her things, and stored them in her bag. She would find Oz in the hallway and tell him to take care of her. She had to go looking for Giles, she couldn't just let him suffer. Whatever Angelus had done to him couldn't be good. Now that Angel had been restored, it was up to Buffy to make sure the gateway to Acathla was closed. If she didn't, things would get much worse. However much Jenny loved her students, she had to do something else to help. And now she'd had a taste of real, black magic, she wanted more of it.

New Sunnydale, the world without shrimp - November 2007

"We don't have an Orb of Thesulah," Jenny said, thumbing through the Book of Restoration. (Something Anya had on hand because 'vampires were losing their souls left, right and centre.')

"Oh." Willow said, looking up. "Is there any way to perform the ritual without one?" She was still listing the other ingredients they needed but Jenny was shaking her head.

"No, there isn't. But there are other spells we can try. My people wanted to curse Angel with the ritual, they wanted him to suffer. Don't tell Rupert I said this but I don't think it would be very fair to curse Spike the same way. Not after the way he helped us over the last few years, without a soul and all. He wasn't like Angelus." Willow smiled a small smile. Then looked over at Tara, who was also helping them. You okay, baby? She asked telepathically, opening their link.

Tara jumped a little, not expecting the voice inside her head to belong to someone else. She had been tense since Spike showed up, she wasn't sure how to take this. Not after what he did and said to Buffy before he left. It was their job to support her, Spike conflicted that. Not sure how I feel, Wil. She thought back. Willow turned towards her and squeezed her hand. She could let Jenny go through the spells for a moment.

She dipped her head and peered into Tara's pooling blue eyes. It's okay. I think we all feel a little caught off guard. I really wasn't sure how Buffy was going to react. But I'm taking her lead on this, whatever she wants I'm going to do. If she wants to help Spike, I think we have to. If he really killed Drusilla, that means... well I don't really know what that means. All manner of things...

Tara started to giggle, which made Jenny look over at the two of the them. "You know I can hear you," she said, and Tara's face turned beet-red.

"Sorry," she mumbled back. Then she straightened herself up a little and kissed Willow quickly, I love you. She mouthed, not wanting their relationship to fall onto a line. Reassuring herself and Willow that they could get through anything. Then she walked over to where Buffy was sitting going over another book of spells, this one on truth serums. "Do you believe him?" She asked.

Buffy looked up, closing the book on her thumb to mark her place. She ruminated, "I don't know. Part of me wants to, remember when Spike was being haunted by The First and he kept telling us he wasn't killing people?" Tara nodded. "Well, this kinda feels like that. Part of me has this gut feeling that he's telling the truth, but if his soul if really gone, how do we know that he's not lying?" Tara scrunched up her brow and looked back at Buffy in confusion. "So that's where I am," she sighed, picking the book back up.

Tara sat down next to her, "I'm worried about Willow. I feel like she's going to do something stupid. You remember what Jenny was like," Buffy nodded.

"Yeah, it was... bad," she agreed.

"I trust her, but sometimes I really don't. The coven, they've been doing more and more powerful spells, her and Amy. Well, you know they have a history. I'm really w-worried Buffy." Tara said finally, internally cursing herself for stuttering, it'd been so long.